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May 2017 N°122
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No1
MARBELLA
AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC
costadelhome.com intelligent property search
page 42
Glass Curtains
REAL ESTATE
Hello Summer..
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Ed’s Note..
Well I have to say May is one of my favourite months here on the Costa del Sol it’s just heating up nicely and it’s not ridiculously hot or busy yet… Although I have noticed the influx of badly driven cars with rent a this etc. written on the back bumper! Talking of summer if you want to get yourself beach ready then get down to ‘The Works’ in Calahonda (see their ad on page 9) they can get you buffed to perfection! The UK is voting again on the 8th of June I wonder what strange events will happens this time… Maybe a un-Brexit??? Dates for your diary this month it’s bank holiday on Monday the 1st (Labour Day) giving us a nice long weekend and to all you mum’s out there it’s Spanish Mothers day is on the 7th. Sounds good to me, hope you have a fantastic month!
in the May Magazine...
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Women’s World: This month funny Women’s views on life…
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Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!
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Gadgets & Gizmo’s: Samsung are releasing the Galaxy S8 and S8 Plus, also the Galaxy Tab S3 Apple watch out! Plus lots more…
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A Man’s World: Strange behaviour only us blokes could understand…
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All Revved Up: This month it’s The Shanghai Motor having become one of the largest, this motor show is as innovative as the Geneva or New York shows.
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We go all blue this month check out the chaos with the Smurfs on the kid’s page...
What’s On Guide... The Sun Coast Festival in Torremolinos also for those who love two-wheeled transport the Moto & Bike Show in Malaga.
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Business Directory... Can’t find that all important contact see page 76.
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Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.
HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com
Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: facebook.com/costa.link.spain 4
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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 72!!!
Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link
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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by ourcontributors. All rights reserved © 2017. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007.
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A Woman’s World
Funny Women’s Views on Life…
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“The best way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a bread knife” - Jo Brand. “I saw a pair of knickers today - on the front it said, 'I would do anything for love' and on the back it said 'but I won't do that'” - Sarah Millican. “The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing… and then they marry him.” - Cher.
” Cinderella.
“The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.” - Phyllis Diller.
“A woman is like a teabag: you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt. “Big girls don’t cry? Yeah, they do. They cry ‘cos they’re fat, they cry ‘cos they can’t get a boyfriend, and they cry ‘cos there’s no trifle left.” - Sarah Millican. “Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.” – Roseanne Barr.
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Boutique Nicole Avda. del Mediterrรกneo, Edif. San Pedro del Mar, Local 4, San Pedro Alcรกntara
(near Da Bruno Restaurant, Opposite the Fishing Boat)
CELEB GOSSIP...
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p i s s z i o b G how S
THE MOST UNLIKELY BFFS’:
BIZARRE CELEBRITY FRIENDSHIPS...
Some celebs you just wouldn’t expect mix… From meeting at the MTV Music Awards to the Dogs of Battersea famous pals you wouldn’t put together! Tom Hardy & Paul O’Grady: Paul, 61, first met 39-year-old Tom when the actor appeared on his TV series, ‘For The Love Of Dogs’ back in 2015. The pair subsequently bonded over their, erm, love of dogs and now regularly text each other – who’d have thought it? 50 Cent & Meryl Streep: Hollywood royalty Meryl Streep and rapper 50 Cent hit it off when they were seated next to each other a basketball game in January 2014. The pair got along like a house on fire and were holding hands and sharing cuddles by the end of the match. Lady Gaga & June Brown: Lady Gaga hit it off with EastEnders’ legend June Brown when they met on The Graham Norton Show back in 2013. The pair kept in touch and Gaga invited June over to her London hotel for afternoon tea the next month, also inviting her to be her plus one at her London performances. It is though that June, 90, and Gaga are sure to keep in touch whenever the singer is in the UK. Katy Perry & Geoff Boycott: In 2012, England Test cricketer Geoff Boycott gushed about how much he loved singing superstar Katy Perry, with the pair eventually meeting in May 2014. Jedward & Tara Reid: We have a feeling that nobody is more surprised by Jedward’s close friendship with Hollywood actress Tara Reid than Jedward are, with the pair befriended her on the first stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house.
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CELEB GOSSIP...
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p i s s z i o b G how S
THE MOST UNLIKELY BFFS’:
CONTINUED, BIZARRE CELEBRITY FRIENDSHIPS...
James Blunt & Hulk Hogan: To be honest, James Blunt is one of those celebrities who can’t really surprise us any more, but we’d definitely love to know what is going on in this cute pic with Hulk Hogan. The pair met at the MTV Video Music Awards in 2006 and the rest, as they say, is history. Rylan Clark-Neal & Hillary Clinton: In 2014, before we knew that Hillary Clinton would be Donald Trump’s closest presidential competitor, Rylan Clark-Neal met and interviewed the US politician for This Morning. Putting on no airs and graces, Rylan won Hillary over when he referred to her as “Hils” and “babes”, and he continued to support her political campaign over the years. David Beckham & Snoop Dogg: Nice guy David Beckham is friends with basically everybody in the celebrity world so it’s no real surprise that he is on good terms with rapper Snoop Dogg. However, what is shocking is just how close they are, with Snoop apparently playing his new music to Becks before anybody else. Russell Brand & Helen Mirren: The two Brits first met on the set of ‘Arthur’ and they got along so well that Russell gifted Helen with a diamond necklace. The Hollywood legend gushed about her co-star: “Russell is the archetypal bad boy, who is really just the best, goodest boy you could possibly meet.”REALLY?
Rihanna & Jim Parsons: Who would have thought that RiRi and the Big Bang Theory actor would become bezzie mates after working on an animated film together, eh? Sheldon with cool friends? Bazinga...!
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Misleading a man of God... At the Sunday service, Robert goes to his friend Paul and says...
"I need a favour. I'm sleeping with the Vicar's wife. Can you hold him in the church for an hour after services for me?" Paul is not at all fond of the idea but being Robert's lifelong friend, he reluctantly agrees. After services, he strikes up a conversation with the Vicar, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him “Paul wh occupied.
are you at rea up to?” lly
After some time the wise vicar becomes suspicious and asks...
“Paul what are you really up to?” Paul, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse confesses to the vicar, "I'm so sorry, Vicar.
My friend is sleeping with your wife, right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."
The vicar smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Paul's shoulder and says...
"You better hurry home, Paul. My wife died two years ago!!”
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WISH YOU WERE HERE...
If you are looking last minute to book that all important summer holiday check out these unusual offerings‌ From a desert palace constructed of salt to an up-cycled Boeing 727, 8 of the World's Most Unusual Hotels! MANTA RESORT, ZANZIBAR: The Manta Resort would be a unique stay anyway, with its beach villas on a remote island surrounded by pristine waters. But book the Underwater Room and sleep below the surface as colourful reef fish glide past large windows surrounding your double bed. At night, spotlights under the windows can be turned on to attract fish and octopuses. The sea-level floor above has a simple living area and bathroom, and the rooftop patio is perfect for sunbathing or taking in the Milky Way at night. GOLDEN CROWN LEVIN IGLUT, LEVI, FINLAND: Marvel at the northern lights in one of 18 glass igloos that accommodate couples or families. Each igloo has a kitchenette, a full bathroom, and a double bed with adjustable headrests for optimal aurora viewing. Windows are insulated and heated to keep them from frosting. Enjoy the fireplace in the small, rustic lodge, and brave freezing temperatures to take in the stars from the outdoor hot tub.
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BOOK & BED TOKYO, JAPAN: A haven for bibliophiles, Book and Bed Tokyo looks like a used bookshop until guests slide open a bookshelf and reveal a cosy nook with a simple bed, reading light, and electrical outlet. Unabashedly bare-bones and not for the claustrophobic, 30 stacked cubbies, each big enough for one person, are available behind the shelves filled with 3,000 titles in Japanese and English. Bathrooms are shared, and couches in the area outside of the bookshelves provide a communal reading and gathering area. It’s more hostel than hotel, and at 3,500 yen (U.S. $35) guests will have plenty of cash left over for new books and exploring Tokyo.
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HOTEL COSTA VERDE, COSTA RICA: Costa Rica’s Hotel Costa Verde’s slogan is “Still More Monkeys Than People …,” but it’s other claim to fame is that guests can spend the night in an up-cycled 1965 Boeing 727 that’s been turned into a two-bedroom luxury guesthouse.
PALACIO DE SAL, SALAR DE UYUNI, BOLIVIA: You’ve perhaps heard of ice hotels, but Bolivia’s Palacio de Sal has taken the concept one step further by using salt from the famous Salar de Uyuni salt flats to create a luxury hotel in the middle of the Bolivian desert. Nearly everything in the 48,500-square-foot hotel is made out of salt, including the building and furniture. The dining room’s windows frame a panoramic view of the salt flats, and meals include locally sourced llama and lamb and the house speciality, salt chicken. The main draw for the area is the expanse of the largest salt flats in the world and its star-filled sky at night.
SANTOS EXPRESS, MOSSEL BAY, SOUTH AFRICA: The Santos Express is a 1920s passenger train permanently parked just a hundred feet from Santos Beach, and a 10-minute walk to the Dias Museum complex and Mossel Bay’s downtown and harbour. Four passenger cars have five berths with double beds, ocean views, and shared baths. A fifth car has 16 bunk beds for large groups and budget travellers, and the Honeymoon Caboose has its own bathroom and private porch facing the ocean.
TREEHOUSE LODGE RESORT, IQUITOS, PERU: Sleep to the sounds of the Peruvian Amazon rain forest at the headwater of the Amazon. You can only reach resort via an hour-long boat ride from Iquitos, then you climb 34 to 67 feet to one of eight circular tree houses above the forest canopy. All guests have a personal guide, and daily excursions include river dolphin-watching and visiting indigenous villages.
HOTEL MARQUÉS DE RISCAL, LA RIOJA, SPAIN: The Marqués de Riscal is architect Frank Gehry's first and only hotel project, located in Elciego, in the heart of Spain’s Rioja wine-growing region. Similarly to his other projects, such as the Guggenheim in Bilbao and the Fondation Louis Vuitton in Paris, the structure is avant-garde in its approach, using huge titanium ribbons which stand out from the surrounding vineyard. The restaurant and bar are first-class, and there’s also a separate spa wing.
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? ? ?KISS[kis]
Lost in Translation...
Have you ever been in a foreign country said something and everyone in the room has looked at you? Here are a few words that could embarrass you in other countries around the world… Swedish: kissa - Translation: to pee The Swedish word for kiss is kyss, which makes trying to say “I want to give you a kiss” or “I need a kiss” extra precarious. What if you actually do need to kissa? Rather than saying “I need to pee,” you could always ask for the restroom (toalett).
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PAYDAY [pey-dey] Portuguese: peidei - Translation: “I farted.”
Excited about payday? Most people would be. In Portuguese-speaking areas, though, you might want to avoid shouting it from the rooftops. The Portuguese phrase for payday is dia do pagamento, which literally means “day of payment.”
LULL [lul] Dutch: lul - Translation: penis
Does the sound of the rain help lull you to sleep? Have you finally reached a lull in your hectic week? You might want to avoid mentioning those things in the Netherlands.
GIFT [gift]
German: gift - Translation: poison You might get some funny looks if you tell your German-speaking friends you’re giving them a gift. Alternately, you should probably beware if you’re handed something labeled gift in Germany. Don’t eat any gift baskets of fruit or muffins or you could find yourself on the way to A&E..
Continued on page 26...
• Plants: Large & Small / Outdoor & Indoor • Furniture & Decoration • Pots & Planters • Weber BBQ’s
Tel: 952 581 247 www.viveroslavega.com administracion@viveroslavega.com 20
Camino Viejo de Coín, Km. 1.5 29651, Mijas Costa
Garden Centre
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TRAVEL TRIVIA QUIZ
1) In which country would you find the original Legoland? 2) What is the Spanish name for a Bullfighter? 3) What does Costa Brava mean? a) White Sand b) Sunny Coast c) Wealthy Coast d) Rugged Coast e) Coast of Discos 4) If you were reading Le Figaro with your morning breakfast, where would you be? 5) Israel you will find shops shut during the Sabbath, when is this? 6) Near which Egyptian city would you visit the Colossi of Memnon? 7) Which city was once known as Byzantium and later as Constantinople? 8) What is the name given to a lover of all things French? 9) On which Mediterranean
Island is the town of Iraklion? 10) Which is the largest of the Balearic Islands? 11) What is the name of the Dutch national airline? 12) Name the only country, which has parts on the mainland of both Europe and Africa? 13) Which Irish city is served by Shannon airport? 14) On which sea is the resort of Rimini? 15) In which British seaside resort would you find a famous area called The Lanes? 16) In which European country is the winter resort of Zermatt? 17) IS are the International car Identification letters for cars from which country? 18) Which European Capital city has a main line railway station named after a battle in 1815?
19) In Northern Ireland 'Carrick-a-Rede' is a famous tourist atraction; what is it? 20) Which Indian state is famous for beaches, tourism and the Basilica of Bom Jesus? 21) What was banned from all Disney theme parks in June 2015? 22) The Sagrada Família Basilica is in which European city? 23) If you take a walk up to the hill via the Piazzale Michelangelo which city do you get a panoramic view of? 24) Davos is home to one of the biggest ski resorts in which country? 25) The Great Barrier Reef is located off the coast of which Australian state? 26) Koh Samui is a large island known for its amazing beaches and crystal sea, which country does it belong to?
Answers on page 80
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?
? FACE [feys] ??
Lost in Translation...
French: fesse - Translation: buttock Telling someone they have a pretty face might get a tiny bit awkward. The phrase my a**e your face may also have some severe complications you weren’t quite expecting...
PRESERVATIVE [pri-zur-vuh-tiv] Russian: prezervativ
(презерватив) - Also French: préservatif - Translation: condom Having your food be free of preservatives means something totally different in English-speaking places than it does in Russian or French-speaking communities. You’d better hope there aren’t any préservatifs in your fruit.
? SALSA [sahl-suh]
Korean: seolsa (설사) - Translation: diarrhea It’s a universally acknowledged truth that when people travel, they tend to crave foods from back home. But if you find yourself craving some delicious Mexican food while vacationing in South Korea, be careful.
EMBARRASSED [em-bar-uhs]
Spanish: embarazada - Translation: pregnant Maybe you used the wrong word by accident. Maybe you’re trying to apologise for a minor cultural faux pas. These things happen. But if there were ever an example of a false friend, it’s embarazada. For the record, the Spanish word for embarrassed is avergonzado. If they’re nice, they’ll probably try not to embarrass you further!
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A quick-witted pup!
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees 10 euro and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, then trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus.... The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, and then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step and barks repeatedly. No answer. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself (Whap!) against the door. He does this again and again. But still no answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. Eventually a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "10 la mb chops , pleas e."
"What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!” The owner responds….
"Genius, I don’t think so! That's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!”
Tel: 952 891 103 Mob: 616 769 958 Opening Hours 13:00 - 16:00 & 16:30 until late Closed Tuesday Lunchtime Take-Away & Home Delivery Available 28
Puerto de la Duquesa | Edif. Delfin, Local 29 At the Front of the Marina
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TERRACE HE
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GADGETS &Gizmo’s The Samsung Galaxy S8 and S8 Plus are out now! There's no flat-screen version, no physical home button and no Samsung logo up top. Just a beautiful extra tall screen with rounded corners and small top and bottom bezel. The home button is pressure sensitive and built into the screen and the fingerprint sensor is at the back. Other notable editions are the DeX dock which will turn the phone into a desktop pc when connected to a monitor, and the new virtual assistant, Bixby sort of a combination of Siri, Google, Alexia and a human controlling the phone will available later this year. And it still has a headphone jack!
Rumour has it that Nintendo is secretly working on a shrunken Super Nintendo. The early leaks say it'll be along the same lines as the now discontinued Classic Mini NES which sold out out as it went on sale last Christmas and is now going for well over four times its original 50€ price on ebay. The SNES arguably had the better catalogue of games and they were far more advanced.
The Polar M460 is a new GPS bike computer with advanced power meter compatibility, Strava Live Segments meaning real time updates on your on personal best and Polar Smart Coaching helping you improve your performance measuring inclines and GPS Packed with plenty of essential cycling features,
The £699 Sonos PlayBase is a solid slab of TV sound engineering, upon which sits your TV. Within the PlayBase are ten speaker drivers for expansive, immersive sound, plus all of the wireless Sonos trickery used for its app-driven multiroom speaker systems. You can even add a couple of smaller Sonos speakers and a Sonos sub to make a 5.1 system.
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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming... The latest product able to boast of compatibility with Amazon’s Alexa technology is the Arcam rPlay, a wireless DAC aimed squarely at demanding audiophiles. Plug the rPlay into your existing hi-fi and it’ll happily stream audio from a variety of sources: NAS drives, computers or online streaming services including Spotify, Amazon Music and iTunes and it’ll even handle Hi-Res music losslessly. So instead of seeking out that beloved playlist using your phone’s screen, you can simply ask the rPlay to find it for you.
The new Microsoft xbox Scorpio has finally been officially announced, there are no pictures yet but we do know its a real beast of a gaming machine: a total of eight 2.3GHz processor cores it will run full 4K games unlike the ps4 which uses an upscaler to give 4k like images, and will run xbox one games with a better resolution and to provide real surround sound it incorporates Dolby Atmos. Prices haven’t been conformed yet, but expect to be around 600€.
At last there is an android alternative to the ipad Pro. The new Samsung Galaxy Tab S3 has a gorgeous screen and the S Pen stylus puts productivity in the picture, with an optional keyboard cover will let you get actual work done, without tapping on a touchscreen.
Ikea’s new Smart Lighting collection has just been introduced to fill your house with app-controlled bulbs, panels and even doors. At the system’s heart is the white Trådfri LED bulb, controlled by a remote control that attaches magnetically to your wall. Pair it with a gateway or motion sensor and you’ll be able to control the lights with Ikea’s iOS and Android app, or just by walking in and out of the room. Sure, there’s no voice control colour variations, but the kits start at only 19€.
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Labels for Dummies...
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products: On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): (well...duh, a bit late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: ‘Product (really after heating, it’s a funny old world...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: this save me time?)
‘Do not turn upside down.’
will be hot after heating.’
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’ (but wouldn't
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’ (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
construction accidents if we could just get those five year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) On Nytol Sleep Aid:
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’ (I'm taking this because?) ‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
On most brands of Christmas lights: (as opposed to what?)
‘Warning: contains nuts.’ (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’ On Sainsbury's peanuts:
(gosh I hadn’t thought of doing that, odd)
Continued on page 40....
Manchester or Marbella, Soto or Southend get the same value, same service and £ THE SAME PRICE £...
Montoro £624 (746€*)
Marbella £499 (596€*)
All Weather Rattan Garden Furniture at UK Prices
Colorado £1249 (1492€*)
San Roque £549 (656€*) *Euro prices correct at time of printing and may vary slightly according to conversion rates.
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FREE DELIVERY TO THE COSTA DEL SOL Go to www.gardengamesandleisure.com to see our full range or call us on 0044 1702 545466
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Eco Windows PVC & ALUMINIUM YOUR ECO HOUSE
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PVC Aluminium Windows Railings & Balustrades Sound Proofing Glass Curtains Shower Doors Tel: 634 314 256 Tel: 676 787 963
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your MIND ownB BUSI
H T N O M E H T F BUSINESS O
PRINTING COMPANY, BENALMADENA 19.950â‚Ź
This print business specialising in printing logos and designs on clothing, beer towels, mugs, mouse mats etc. as well as shop and vehicle signage has been established on the Costa del Sol for 16 years. The owner has other business commitments and has scaled the operation down and it is now run part time from home, but could be expanded again very easily.
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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BUSINESS SINESS
SALES
&
RENTALS
WANTED! MUSIC BAR
San PEDRO TO ESTEPONA REWARD UP TO 60.00 EURO WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:57 am Page 38
your MIND ownB B U S I
Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges
Popular Sports Bar/Restaurant 30.000€
Sports themed bar and restaurant Large regular clientèle With an excellent reputation on the outskirts of Marbella.
Well Known Card and Party Shop in Mijas Costa 25.000€ Established on the Costa del Sol for 10 years. Highly visible from the main road.
Selection of FANTASTIC Restaurants 15.000€ - 295.000€
Benalmadena, Calahonda, Duquesa, Estepona, Fuengirola, Mijas, Sabinillas & San Pedro. All with VERY HIGH ratings on Tripadvisor...
Computer Gaming Shop Marbella 89.000€ Located right in the very centre of Marbella. Refurbished just a few months ago. Heavy footfall with people walking past constantly.
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:57 am Page 39
BUSINESS S I N E S S
S A L E S
&
R E N TA L S
for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee
Lovely Local Restaurant Between Mijas and Fuengirola, 50.000€
This well regarded restaurant has an excellent reputation with certificates of excellence from Trip Advisor.
Laundry - Torremolinos 35.000€
This well established laundry has been trading for over 20 years. It is located in a very high profile position on a very busy road. Parking is available nearby and there is constant foot fall.
Airport Transfer Company: 495.000€
This minibus transfer business has been est over 10 years in the Malaga area and specialises in Airport transfers for holidaymakers to all areas of the Costa del Sol.
House With Separate Cottage, Choice of 2 from 35.000€ Vineyard & Winery Cadiz) Car Body Shop &595.000€ Sprayers, (near Marbella:
A rare opportunity to buy a in completely country Both in great locations Marbella renovated from 35.000€ home & income in the beautiful area of Cortes de la Frontera.
WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:57 am Page 40
Labels for Dummies...
Continued from page 34... On a child's Superman costume: ’Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’ (Well maybe not the to blame the company for this one..... Maybe the parents?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: ‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’ (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) On some Swanson frozen dinners -’Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(But, it's just a suggestion.) On a blanket from Taiwan: (REALLY! Why not?)
‘Not to be used as protection from a tornado.’
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists: ‘Remember, objects mirror are actually behind you.’ (Thanks for that gentle reminder!) On the bottle-top of a UK flavoured milk drink: (They spoil all the fun!) On a New Zealand insect spray: ‘This (Obviously highly efficient then!)
‘After opening, keep upright.’
product is not tested on animals.’
On a Japanese food processor: ‘Not to be used for the other (Now, could somebody out there help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On a Sears hair dryer: ‘Do not use while sleeping.’ (but that's the only time I have to do my hair!)
40
in the
use.’
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:58 am Page 41
We are proud to announce the recent opening of our new outlet in El Zoco, Calahonda on the N340! But don’t panic, this does not mean you have to wait weeks for delivery! We still have the most extensive stock of British beds and sofas on the coast, but you can now come and try them out in our much more comfortable surroundings. The best part is that everything is still direct from the warehouse; so at a fraction of the cost! We are also now supplying British SOLID OAK household furniture in a range of styles as well as quality. British bedding and mattress toppers in all sizes.
We supply the retail shops so visit ‘THE BED WAREHOUSE’ directly to save money now!
Top Quality British Beds & Mattresses at Unbeatable Prices Top name brands such as SEALY, SILENTNIGHT & RELYON REST ASSURED etc...
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A Man’s World
STRANGE BEHAVIOUR...
A man was in his garden mowing the grass when his neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the letterbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the letter box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the letterbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've Got Mail."
GUTS V’S BALLS...
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard Colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them? Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295. GUTS: Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere? " BALLS: Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby". I trust this clears up any confusion. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.
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May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:58 am Page 46
Medical Mayhem BIOLOGY... FACTS & TRIVIA to make the mind boggle!
• The average human head has about 150,000 hair follicles. • The pattern on your tongue is as unique as your fingerprints. • Research has shown that the human brain reacts to emoticons in the same way it reacts to real facial expressions. • Your fingernails grow at a rate of about 0.1mm per day and take around three months to completely replace themselves. • A baby’s skeleton is made up of over 300 individual parts. As the child grows, these pieces which are mainly cartilage – slowly fuse together to form 206 bones in adulthood. • Every human has two blind spots – one in each eye, where the optic nerve joins the eyeball. Our brains work to correct this by using the information supplied by the eyes and ‘painting in’ the missing details. • Scientists have discovered that some illnesses and diseases make you smell different. For example, someone with typhoid can smell like freshly baked bread, and someone with liver disease can smell like raw fish. • Humans and chimpanzees have a similar number of hairs on their bodies, but most of ours are so fine that they are practically invisible to the human eye. • A matchbox –sized piece of human bone can support around nine tonnes of weight, about four times more than a concrete equivalent.
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PET TRANSPORT SPAIN-UK, UK-SPAIN • Fully licensed • First class conditions • All paperwork dealt with Tel: 630 197 435
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THE ENGLISH DENTAL PRACTICE Dr. Alex McCubbin
Susana Lucena - Hygienist
Tel: 952 466 056 www.englishdentalpractice.com info@englishdentalpractice.com
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Avda. Jesús Santos Rein, 10 Fuengirola 29640 Málaga.
Medical Tips
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BACK PAIN...
Causes of back pain - Often it's not possible to identify the cause of back pain. Doctors call this "non-specific" back pain. Sometimes the pain may be a result of an injury such as a sprain or strain, but often it occurs for no apparent reason. It's very rarely caused by anything serious. Occasionally back pain can be due to a medical condition such as: a slipped (prolapsed) disc – where a disc of cartilage in the spine presses on a nearby nerve sciatica irritation of the nerve that runs from the pelvis to the feet. These conditions tend to cause additional symptoms: such as numbness, weakness or a tingling sensation and they're treated differently to non-specific back pain.
HOW TO RELIEVE BACK PAIN: The following tips may help reduce your backache and speed up your recovery: • Stay as active as possible and try to continue your daily activities this is one of the most important things you can do, as resting for long periods is likely to make the pain worse. •Try exercises and stretches for back pain; other activities such as walking, swimming, yoga and pilates may also be helpful. •Take anti-inflammatory painkillers, such as ibuprofen remember to check the medicine is safe for you to take first and ask a pharmacist if you're not sure. • Use hot or cold compression packs for short-term relief you can buy these from your local pharmacy, or a hot water bottle and a bag of frozen vegetables wrapped in a cloth will work just as well. Although it can be difficult, it helps if you stay optimistic and recognise that your pain should get better, as people who manage to stay positive despite their pain tend to recover quicker.
CAUSES OF BACK PAIN: Often it's not possible to identify the cause of back pain. Doctors call this "non-specific" back pain. Sometimes the pain may be a result of an injury such as a sprain or strain, but often it occurs for no apparent reason. It's very rarely caused by anything serious. Occasionally back pain can be due to a medical condition such as: • A slipped (prolapsed) disc where a disc of cartilage in the spine presses on a nearby nerve. • Sciatica irritation of the nerve that runs from the pelvis to the feet. These conditions tend to cause additional symptoms such as numbness, weakness or a tingling sensation and they're treated differently to non-specific back pain.
GET IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ADVICE: GETTING HELP AND ADVICE: Back pain usually gets You should contact your Doctor immediately
better on its own within a few weeks or months and you may not need to see a doctor or other healthcare professional. But it's a good idea to get help if: • The pain doesn't start to improve within a few weeks. • The pain stops you doing your day-to-day activities. • The pain is very severe or gets worse over time. • You're worried about the pain or are struggling to cope. You can see your Doctor, who will ask about your symptoms, examine your back, and discuss possible treatments. They may refer you to a specialist doctor or a physiotherapist for further help.
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if you have back pain and: • Numbness or tingling around bottom. • Difficulty peeing. • Loss of bladder or bowel control. • Chest pain. • A high temperature of 38C or above. • Unexplained weight loss. • A swelling or a deformity in your back. • It doesn't improve after resting. • It started after an accident. These problems could be a sign of something more serious and need to be checked urgently.
CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:58 am Page 49
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Health & Well Being
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 11:58 am Page 50
NAPPING IS FANTASTIC FOR YOUR HEALTH
AN AFTERNOON NAP IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH... Dropping off for around an hour during the day helps to lower blood pressure.
IT’S OFFICIAL...
that this is the natural sleep pattern of humans. Young children Sleeping is good for you. No sur- and elderly persons nap, for examprises there, of course – but it's ple, and napping is a very impordaytime sleeping (otherwise tant aspect of many cultures. known as a catnap, a siesta, or just falling asleep at your desk with Many high achievers have longyour head on your elbow, dribbling proclaimed the benefits of taking a on your sleeve) that, according to brief time-out from the stresses of new research, could actually the day. Winston Churchill first improve the health of your heart. coined the term "power nap", Researchers at Allegheny College claiming that a daily afternoon in Pennsylvania have found that sleep brought him the clarity of dropping off for 45 minutes to an thinking he needed for wartime hour helps to lower your blood victory. "You must sleep some pressure after a stressful event. time between lunch and dinner, More than 85% of mammalian species are polyphasic sleepers, meaning that they sleep for short periods throughout the day. Humans are part of the minority of monophasic sleepers, meaning that our days are divided into two distinct periods, one for sleep and one for wakefulness. It is not clear
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For most of us, however, taking to our bed after lunch is more than a little impractical. So what do you do if you want a nifty siesta – purely for medicinal purposes. The first place to head for is the park – though best saved for summer, a cosy duvet-jacket or onesie might provide the appropriate quilting at this time of year. You could tell your boss you've got a lunch meeting, and then go out and choose the dullest film you can find – True Grit should do the trick – let your eyes close as the lights dim, and hey presto you're napping. Or what about picking a bus route or train journey that takes roughly 45 minutes, donning your eye-mask and earplugs and asking the nice lady opposite to wake you up when you get there.
Of course, for advanced nappers it's a no-brainer. Schedule your dullest meetings for mid-afternoon, then discreetly zone out while keeping your head and neck upright and nodding at intervals when you are needed, ig you can keep your eyes open all for the betand no halfway measures," he ter. If you're lucky, nobody will insisted. Margaret Thatcher notice. famously ordered her aides not to disturb her between 2.30 and 3.30pm, so she could snooze; Bill Clinton did the same each day at 3pm. Other illustrious nappers include Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Johannes Brahms.
CHECK OUT... our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:00 pm Page 51
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ALL REVVED UP
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:00 pm Page 54
SHANGHAI MOTOR SHOW
The Shanghai Motor used to be a bit of a joke to us in The Western World, its was a showcase for copycat versions of BMWs, Rolls Royces, Mercedes etc. Now China has become one of the largest markets, this motor show is as innovative as the Geneva or New York shows. However, There are still copycats there: Jaguar Land Rover collaborating with Chinese manufacturers Chery have produced a Chinese made Range Rover Evoke and showed it for the first time at Shanghai. At the same show, Jiangling revealed their LandWind X7. JLR immediately filed an action against copyright and unfair competition in a court in Beijing, BUT the Jaguar copyright design has been revoked on a technicality! Staying with JLR, the new Hanteng electric concept is almost identical to new Jaguar IPace electric SUV due out later this year.
The Zotre SR9 is so close to the Porsche Macan in almost every detail both externally and internally that people in China are actually selling new cars with all the Zotre Badges replaced with Porsche ones, You can buy these at one tenth of the price of a Macan Turbo S, don’t expect the same performance, they come with a Mitsubishi 2 Litre engine.
Not happy with cloning just one car BAIC have decided to merge two from the same manufacturer, the BAIC X424 looks like a Jeep Wrangler from the side and a Jeep Cherokee from the front.
54
The Lifan Xuanlang MPV went on sale just a few weeks prior to the event itself and apparently any similarity to the Ford S-MAX is purely coincidental, that includes the shape, the lights, the grille and the wheels‌..
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:00 pm Page 55
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May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:01 pm Page 56
Lamb, Apricot & Shallot Tagine Ingredients:
•1 Large leg of lamb, bone in (about 2kg) •600g Shallot, halved if particularly large •400g Small apricot, halved and stoned •85g Whole skinless almond •2 Preserved lemons, (flesh discarded, peel & pith finely chopped)
•1 Tbsp ras el hanout •1 Tbsp clear honey •150ml Hot chicken stock •Small pack coriander, leaves picked •Couscous & natural yogurt, to serve For the marinade •4 Tbsp olive oil •4 Garlic cloves, crushed •1 Tbsp ground cumin •2 Tbsp clear honey •2 Tsp ground cinnamon •2 Tsp ground ginger •2 Tsp coriander seed •Pinch of saffron strands
1) Slash the lamb leg all over and put in a big food bag, or in a large casserole dish. Smash the marinade ingredients together using a pestle and mortar. Add some black pepper and rub all over the lamb. Marinate overnight, or up to 24 hrs.
Method:
2) Heat the oven to 140C/120C fan/gas 1. Sit the lamb in a big roasting tin, scraping off any leftover marinade on the top. Cover the tin with foil, pinching the edges to seal. Cook for 6-7 hrs, basting every hour or so, until the meat is incredibly tender. 3) Remove the roasting tin from the oven and increase oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Pour the juices from the lamb into a measuring jug, cool slightly and skim off the fat. Put the shallots in the tin with the lamb and toss to coat in some of the juices. Roast for 15 mins, then add the apricots and almonds. Whisk the cooking juices with the lemon, ras el hanout, honey and stock, then pour over the lamb and roast for another 20 mins.
4) Rest for 10 mins, then scatter over the herbs and serve with couscous and yogurt.
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May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:01 pm Page 57
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Stran
Strange Strangebuttrue...
May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:01 pm Page 58
STRANGE SUPERSTITIONS...
chewing the flesh of the dead".
Never give gloves as a present... ...well, you can, but you must also receive something in return, or you'll both have bad luck. Gloves are attached to a whole host of superstitions, dating back to Medieval times and the days of chivalry, when Knights wore a lady's glove in their helmets. It's also Stay forever young by carrying an acorn: bad luck to drop a glove, and then pick it up yourForget anti-ageing creams! In Ancient Britain, self - derived from the custom of a lady dropping a women carried acorns in their pockets to stay look- glove in the hope a prospective lover picks it up. ing young. The oak tree was believed to provide Off to an important meeting? Look out for a longevity and to ward off illness due to its long life. goat. The goat has been associated with debauchDo you avoid ladders, pavement cracks and black cats? Or are you far too rational to believe in old wives' tales? Whatever your stance on superstitions, here are some of the more bizarre beliefs from around the world.
Don't eat lettuce if you want to have children: In the 19th century, English men avoided salads if they wanted to start a family. In The Oxford Dictionary of Superstitions, a book on 'Plant Lore' suggests that lettuce was detrimental to child-bearing because it was a 'sterile' plant, and "as plants exhibited peculiarities in their actions, so were they supposed to operate on man". Don't chew gum at night (In Turkey): Fancy freshening up before a night out? Stick to mouthwash in Turkey. The Turkish believe that "if you're chewing gum at night in Turkey, you're actually
ery, lust and the Devil for thousands of years - and is also believed to absorb any evil or harm that may cross your path. That's why it was once considered good luck to encounter a goat when travelling to an important meeting. An awkward silence means an Angel is passing over: This rather whimsical explanation for a lull in conversation is attributed to Dylan Thomas' Portrait of the Artist - it features the line ‘A host of angels must be passing by … What a silence there is!’.
GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA
More strange superstitions next month..
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Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206
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FINANCIAL NEWS SNAP ELECTION IN THE UK, SENDS £ SOARING..
UK Prime Minister Theresa May sent the Pound soaring to its highest levels in 2017 last month, following her shock announcement that there will be a general election in the UK on June 8th. The Pound had been struggling against the Euro for the beginning of the month and from the start of the year for that matter, but immediately after May’s announcement on the 18th April, we saw the Pound gain by as much as 2% against the Euro in a matter of hours. To put that in to monetary terms, a well-timed transfer of £200,000 in to Euros on the day could have gained you as much as €4,500 extra in your pocket! Usually when a surprise announcement like this, especially with regards to a general election, we would have expected to see the Pound lose in value. In this instance however, with Brexit negotiations looming, investor confidence seems to have risen and there has been an influx of investment in to Sterling. It seems clear that Theresa May’s aim is to increase her majority and therefore strengthen her hand in
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Brexit talks further down the line, which could help the UK to agree better terms once the divorce from the EU becomes official. The good news for anyone looking to purchase property in Europe at the moment is that this trend for the Pound is expected to continue. The international monetary fund created a report in April suggesting that the continued spending in the UK despite the Brexit vote has forced them to push their projected growth rate up to 2%. This is the 2nd time in 3 months the IMF have underestimated the UK’s resilience and I am quietly confident investors will gradually take note and bolster Sterling’s value further. If you want to transfer money from the UK to Spain there are a number of tools and contract options available to you that can help you take advantage of these spikes in Sterling’s value and help you time your currency exchange at the best levels, especially whilst there is so much market volatility at present, please email steve@costalinkmagazine.com for further information.
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What’s On Guide...
6th May 2017: Art Exhibition for ADANA (an animal charity run by volunteers) from 12 to 5pm at the La Duquesa Castle grounds. All the paintings are by local artists. Entry 3€. For more information, visit: adana.es or call: 952 113 467. 6th & 7th May 2017: The Elvis Presley Experience at Salon Varietes Theatre. Johnny G in a journey through the life & music of the "King of Rock'n'Roll". For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com. 19th to the 21st May 2017: Moto & Bike Andalucía a great trade fair for those who love life on two wheels with a wide range of motorcycle and bicycle plus accesories the show takes place at the Palacio de Ferias y Congresos in Malaga. For more info please call: 952 045 500 or see www.eventosmotor.com. 19th to the 23rd May 2017: The Hobbit at Salon Varietes Theatre Salva presents the world premiere of J. R. R. Tolkien’s timeless imaginative journey, The Hobbit. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com. 20th May 2017: Sun Coast Festival 2017: The Sun Coast Festival is a festival of electronic music held in the Aqualand water park in Torremolinos. With performances by great international DJs and artists you can enjoy different musical styles, from classic House, Electro, Progressive and Technohouse to Bass Music and Retro Old School. See www.suncoastfestival.com for more info. 28th May 2017: PERROTON MARBELLA 2017: Charity 3K around Marbella it’s the 1st Charity Race for the care of animals within Andalucia. Sign up at www.perroton.org fee to take part is 10€. Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm. Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission. Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Call 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Age Care Drop come and chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala, 11am-12.30pm. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Friday: Hard Rock Cafe: Live music happening every Friday see www.hardrock.com/cafes/marbella. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm. If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know...
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email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669
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May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:35 pm Page 64
ocal Info Emergency Numbers
---
Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica
Medical
112 091 092 062
Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267
Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026
Health Centres
Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700
Town Halls
Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100
Fire Brigade
Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046
Consulates
British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A
952 952 952 952 952 952 952
Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro
952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252
352 475 226 604 212 226 474
300 108 373 383 442 590 891
Tourist Information
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Transport
Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus
Markets
Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda), Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring) and La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).
Cinemas
All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622
Chemists
24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89
Taxis
Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593
Diary Dates
1st May 2017: Labour Day National Holiday 1st May 2017: May Day Bank Holiday (UK) 7th May 2017: Spanish Mothers Day
29th May 2017: Spring Bank Holiday (UK)
check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE
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Harry’s Sports Bar
Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before
All Live Sports & Premiere League Football. Six TV’s & Big Screen. Full menu... Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda
After
Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info
GBTV 15 Freesat HD Channels via Satellite Dish including:
NO INTERNET REQUIRED
Call Tom: 603 258 751
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S TA R S I GN S
A look at what's in store for you during May 2017...
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini 66
Capricorn, with the Sun in your sign this May 2017 the month is full of adventure. You are getting slightly bored on the home front you’d thought it’s was time for stronger emotions. And yet... You’ll work hard and resolutely throughout May 2017. Mars forms a very productive trine with Jupiter so you’re energetic you have the initiative to be successful. It’s no small effort, and you won’t lack for obstacles. There might be a strong enemy who won’t like your progress, or maybe circumstances will just go against you at times. But you’ll have your moments, with favorable circumstances too. Don’t be too conservative! It’s time to be more creative, to let your imagination run free. You should take better care of yourself and not neglect minor (or not so minor) ailments. No matter what and how much it bothers you, see a doctor without delay! Follow treatments to the letter and don’t take any risks! Aquarius, with Mars in your skies this May 2017 your hot to trot this month. If you are single and ready to mingle then you are up for a whirlwind month, if you are in a relationship then thing in the bedroom should heat up! Expect the last week of the month to the craziest. Venus is also in on the action so you tend to filter everything through rationality. You may meet someone on the wavelength as you who you communicate with well and shares your interests. The New Moon from the last week could bring Aquarians something new in terms of your love life. At work Mars gives you creative energy and power of expression, and is priceless when it comes to promoting. You can be successful this month in anything you do. You make money off of intellectual pursuits or with business dealing with people from abroad. You’re in good shape this month. Your ability to focus improves, tension diminishes, the your good mood returns. Pisces, money or other material things have a major role on the home front this month particularly so during the first two weeks. Venus and Mercury being in your skies makes your attitude more pragmatic than romantic. After May 15th 2017 you’re more relaxed and the importance of communication to clarify things goes on. May 2017 perpetuates the connections between your career and income. The desire to earn more and the desire to receive more professional recognition still enhance each other. You’re all the more driven in these directions by encouragements from family or your home-related needs. During this month you are interested in intellectual pursuits or maybe travels why not get on a book that all-important summer holiday. You don’t have that much energy. But you mobilise yourself mentally. Get an optimistic outlook on things, relax by reading, taking walks or chatting with people! Aries, May 2017 is the month of relationships clearing up. Venus is in the last part of its retrograde cycle that has started in January and will end in June. After a series of setbacks or various difficulties you can expect events that will make you realise just how you stand. You’re in for some serious life changing events! Don’t rush to say things and keep your calm! If you are single at the moment expect to meet a very special someone… The month also looks to be productive for you regarding to your profession, because the Sun is on good terms with Pluto. Mercury, Uranus and Saturn will call for a modernisation or a review of work methods during the first part of May 2017. During the second part of the month, Mercury in your sign will be giving increasing interest maximizing the profitability of your work. You are concerned with your health this month it’s a great time to get in shape and get the healthy lifestyle you crave.
Taurus, it seems that during May 2017, you have other priorities, and relationships take a backseat. Or maybe its just that nothing significant happens. Other than that practical concerns might be in the spotlight on the home front. You and your loved one might be interested in business or increasing income. On the work front with the Sun in Taurus, the first two weeks of May 2017 are favorable for promotions or improved social status you are attracting appreciation and respect from others. The first two weeks will give you the vitality to generate success. You feel the need to be on top of your game, you work hard and will succeed. Careful, though: financially, things aren’t as nice or as profitable as they seem. Towards the end of the month, Venus finally exits the long unfavorable term, so your shape and goodmood will reappear as if by magic.
Gemini, passionate Mars is in your sign unfortunately though with Neptune this month the configuration could steer you into confusing or disappointing situations. So in order to have a love life with as few complications as possible, you need to skillfully navigate through traps and obstacles. Mercury resumes its direct motion on May 3rd 2017, so you can expect increased efficiency on the work front. Enterprising Mars is full of initiative and drive It might get some things moving, maybe it will help you clarify some objectives. Either way, it seems like you have to fight for something, put in more effort or get more involved than usual. You should avoid situations with a potential for conflict, risk or violence. Don’t lose your calm or sense of humor! It’s a good thing that Mercury resumes its direct motion. You start to feel more like yourself. But all of that doesn’t mean that you’re carefree so be careful!
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Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Cancer, May 2017 isn’t that comfortable in terms of your relationships. Expect some difficult spots and maybe a few arguments if you are in a relationship. The overall feeling could be frustration or constriction. Perhaps nothing major happens, but your hopes might not be entirely fulfilled. The days around the Full Moon on the 9th of May, are full of emotion and passion, and could bring you single Cancerians a significant moment to be a new mate. Finally, during May 2017 things get back on the right track at work. Venus is promising luck, success due to your talents, particularly during the first part of the month. Expect hard work and steer clear of potential enemies they could become active behind the scenes. Financially, you do well during the first two weeks. On the health and fitness front take care of yourself, don’t expose yourself, don’t overdo it, and follow the doctor’s orders!
Leo, May 2017 it’s likely that during next weeks (May 2017 and first week of June) your relationship will become clearer ideas and principles will evolve and change. You are looking for new things on the horizon why not take a class or go on a trip! Because the Sun, you have the opportunity to gain more authority or climb the ladder at work to accomplish your desires. Your professional area is livened-up during this term by a fresh, renewing wave. Mars increases your interactions with other people pushing you to get involved in an energetic manner in a group project in which you’ll most likely play the role of the leader. It’s not always smooth sailing; there are obstacles that you can overcome through patience and diplomacy. Financially, you’re getting back in shape and can encounter surprises, most likely of the pleasant variety. Throughout the month you’re in good shape psychologically and have an optimistic outlook.
Virgo, there’s not much time for romance this month. There are many issues to solve on the home front, which are not just financial, but also professional. You feel the need to rely on solid, specific things. With Mars in your sign this month professional activity is intense, sprinkled with decisions and initiatives. Things move along much better, particularly since on the 3rd of the month Mercury resumes its direct motion. Not perfectly so, because you need to prove to be patient and resilient, but you’re on the right track. Matters related to earnings continue to be a challenge, but you have more chances at being successful than you have done recently – provided you don’t overdo it or take risks. Keep calm, be lucid, and most of all, don’t lose your sense of humor! Your vitality is improving vastly. The Sun and Mercury resume a direct motion on May 3rd 2017 despite that, you feel under pressure so you should be careful.
Libra
Libra, Venus is at its last finishing its retrograde cycle in your sign during this term you have had to deal with some issues and clear up issues on the home front. Venus, Uranus, Pluto and Saturn are all based in your skies this month meaning that you go through a series of challenges that set things on the right track, all of it involving something new or a change. With the Sun situated in Libra at the cycle of the Full Moon your material motivations are very strong. You could also experience competition this month or go through disputes but luck is on your side. Things stay stressful and tense, and this is accentuated during the second part of May 2017, creating tensions that could reflect physically. You should avoid overdoing it you are way too tense. Try to be more relaxed get out and about make the most of the great weather.
Scorpio
Scorpio, Venus is in its last phase of transformation. May 2017 is the last month in which obligations are tying you down, starting from next month you will be free to run and bring muchneeded happiness to your life. But for now, things are more complicated. Solutions are within sight but a series of trials could be put in your path on the home front, you’ll hit them head on as usual and come out on top! May 2017 brings a twist and turns at work. Things seem to need change, renew or rethink. Evolution is still ongoing and there are still a few bumps in the way until you manage to optimise your work. In the meantime, you succeed in making it more profitable from a material standpoint. You’ll burn a lot of energy in the financial department and can make good money, but it’s just as possible that they spend way too much or make uninspired decisions.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, May 2017 is going to be an intense month with regards your love life. Especially the first part of the month! Venus and Mars in your sign will bring very passionate feelings to you throughout May 2017 and will create the perfect background for a new love or a quick fling. More than that, on May 3rd Mercury resumes its direct motion, and on the 15th is in a favourable configuration – love is in the air this month! Your professional pursuits become more efficient and luckier this month. It’s a great term for promoting yourself and highlighting your talents. You do pretty well financially, provided you don’t make risky or extreme decisions. Try to be more of a diplomat and show more flexibility! You are feeling very chilled out this month despite the hectic schedule. Now is a great time to get into shape tone your physical appearance, and lifestyle routine. It can all be improved now.
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puzzle Link The Words
Solutions on page 80
it out
In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:
1)
____
ROYAL
MOON
TRUE
3)
____
FIGHT
NIGHT
SANDWICH
CHAIN
ORDER
BOX
2) 4) 5)
____ ___
____
LUCK EYED
RAIN
PORK
DRIVE
AMERICAN
Guess The Celeb
A
B
Sudoku
Brain Teaser A STRANGE WALK IN THE FOREST... A young man walks through a forest and comes to a bridge. In front of the bridge is a large man carrying an axe.
The man says... “If you want to cross the bridge you must make a statement. If I think the statement is true, you will be strangled to death, if I think the statement is false, I will chop your head off.”.
A few minutes later the young man walked over the bridge while the large man stood pondering. 70
What was the statement the young man had given?
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Crossword
Across: 7. Omen (7) 9. Female relative (5) 10. Small boat, music concert (3) 11. Answered (9) 12. Attacked by Santa Anna in Texas (5) 14. Single item (7) 16. _______Twins (7) 18. Greek island in Adriatic (5) 19. Another name for Bigfoot (9) 20. Hairpiece (3) 21. French Impressionist painter. (5) 22. Mocks, jeers (7) Down: 1. Vision aid (8) 2. Self righteous moralist (4) 3. Strange person (6) 4. Shoe liner (6) 5. Hats.helmets etc (8) 6. Kink (4) 8. Witnessed (11) 13. Stockpiling (8) 15. Violent ideology (8) 17. Make equal to (6) 18. Unit in roman army (6) 19. Used oil reservoir (4) 20. Broad (4)
Name The Film
A In a dystopic and crime-ridden Detroit, a B terminally wounded police officer returns to the force as a powerful cyborg haunted by submerged memories (1987).
Rumpelstiltskin tricks the star of the film into allowing himself to be erased from existence and cast in a dark alternate timeline where Rumpel rules supreme (2010).
Say What You See...
SIDE SIDE
lap
COMPUTER
hands hands hands hands
DECK
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The Jokespage
Jokespage
A drop dead gorgeous woman goes up to the bar in a country town, seductively she gestured the barman to come over. When he's close enough she begins to very gently caress his full beard, "Well your a good looking guy, are you the manager she asks, by now using both her hands to slowly caress his beard. No I'm Tom the barman, the manager just popped out for a while. Leaning in closer to the barman she drifts her fingers though his hair now. Look she says, I really need you to give the manager a message, can you do that for me, she says with a sexy wink . The barman now getting fairly interested by now says what would you like me to tell him. “Look Tom tell him there isn't any toilet paper, hand soap or paper towels in the ladies room.” “Don’t laugh!” Said the patient. “Of course I won’t laugh.” The doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay then.” The patient said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ‘whooha’ the doctor had ever seen. It couldn’t have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. “I’m so sorry,” said the doctor, “I really am. I don’t know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won’t happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?” The patient replied. “It’s swollen...”
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Two policemen are called to the scene of a crime in a convenience store. One asks the manager what happened. He replies "There's a man over there covered in Corn Flakes and he's dead."
"That's odd," said the first policeman, "didn't we have one covered in Bran Flakes yesterday? And another covered in Wheata Flakes last week?""Your right" said the second policeman. "This must be the work of a cereal killer." A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said… “Jesus knows you’re here.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: “Jesus is watching you.” Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot. “Yep” the parrot confessed, and then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.” The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?” “Moses” replied the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird ‘Moses?” "The same kind of people who would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus' "!
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DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS
High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs
Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.
Tel: 951 310 111
Mobile: 651 111 005
Email: drainandleaksolutions@hotmail.com
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he Give Trfs Smu e Som r Colou
74
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smurfmazing...
can you get through the maze to find papa smurf?
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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Denmark 2) Matador 3) d) Rugged Coast 4) France 5) From sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday 6) Luxor 7) Istanbul 8) Francophile 9) Crete 10) Majorca or Mallorca 11) KLM 12) Spain 13) Limerick 14) Adriatic 15) Brighton 16) Switzerland 17) Iceland 18) London, Waterloo 19) A rope bridge
(linking the mainland to a small island)
Answers from 24, 70 & 71
it out
Link The Words a) Blue b) Hard c) Club d) Pie e) Mail
Guess The Celeb a) Michael Mcintyre b) Britney Spears
Brain Teaser
ANSWER: What was the statement the young man had given? The young man said “my head will be chopped off�
Crossword Solution
20) Goa 21) Selfie Sticks 22) Barcelona 23) Florence 24) Switzerland 25) Queensland 26) Thailand
Sudoku Solution
Name The Film a) RoboCop (1987)
b) Shrek Forever After (2010)
Say What You See 1) Side by Side
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2) Lap Top Computer 3) All Hands on Deck
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May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:11 pm Page 82
Nยบ1 Magazine Costa del Sol on Nยบ1 Business Directory Costa del Sol on More likes than any other Costa del Sol Magazine on What is the point of advertising anywhere else? M
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email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com web: www.costalinkmagazine.com
tel: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669
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No worries, just Memories
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May 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 24/04/17 12:11 pm Page 84
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