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September 2017 N°126
No1
MARBELLA
AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC
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Business Directory Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscopes Local Info Kids Page Jokes
Computer Problems? we can help....
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Glass Curtains costadelhome.com intelligent property search
page 42
Bye, Bye Summer..
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Ed’s Note..
Welcome to the September edition of Costa Link Magazine. Well as we thought it’s been a very hot and strangely foggy August with the air conditioning working overtime. September has arrived and even here on the Costa del Sol we can feel those darker evenings drawing in. Mijas has its very own feria this month from the 5th to the 12th with lots going on up in the pueblo. For all the health nuts among us there is a half marathon around Marbella on the 24th of the month check out the ‘What’s on Guide’ on page 62 for more information. It’s the Halloween issue of the magazine next month, and only four months to Christmas (ALREADY??) So if you would like to advertise in the most popular A5 magazine on the Costa del Sol give us a call and we can get you the best deal, we have fantastic offers on advertising at the moment. Keep smiling and have a great month!
in the September Magazine...
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Women’s World: A new reality show, real life… Who will make it to the bitter end?
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Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!
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Gadgets & Gizmo’s: This month we have Nike's self-tightening shoe the new Samsung Galaxy Note and amazing gamming screen and lots more…
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It’s a funny old world! But what is Social Security Sex? find out more... A Man’s World: on page 44.
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In ‘All Revved Up’ this month we take a look at the 67th Annual Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance 2017 was held last month in, California.
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The Kid’s page this month runs away to the Circus... Games, puzzles, mazes and lots more!
The Butterfly Children’s Ball, The Mijas Feria and The Senior Masters Tennis Cup! Check out the ‘What’s on Guide’ on page 62.
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Business Directory... Can’t find that all important contact see page 76.
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Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.
HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com
Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: facebook.com/costa.link.spain 4
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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 72!!!
Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link
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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by ourcontributors. All rights reserved © 2017. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007.
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• All advertisers have FREE INCLUSION in the business directory
• All advertisers have THEIR OWN PAGE on the Costa Link Magazine website with map & link to their Facebook page, website & lots more...
• All advertisers have FREE INCLUSION in the on-line business directory • NUMBER ONE ‘Costa del Sol magazine’ on Google for over 7 years
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Nยบ1 Magazine Costa del Sol on Nยบ1 Business Directory Costa del Sol on More likes than any other Costa del Sol Magazine on What is the point of advertising anywhere else? M
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tel: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669
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A Woman’s World
New Channel 4 Show..
A FANTASTIC NEW REALITY SHOW IS TO BE REALISED ON CHANNEL 4 NEXT MONTH…
WHICH ONE WILL MAKE IT TO THE BITTER END?
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and two kids each, for six weeks. Each child will play two different types of sport and either takes extra music or dance classes. There is no access to convenience or fast food. Each man must take care of his two children; keep his assigned house clean, correct homework, complete science projects, cook, and do the laundry, etc. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote control having been lost or broken previously. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making lunches for their two contestants freshly in the each morning. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. The children vote them off the island, based on performance. The last man wins only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years... Eventually earning the right to be called “MUM”.
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HOT TV GOSSIP...
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p i s s z i o b G how S
STRICTLY 2017: FULL LINE-UP CONFIRMED‌ Three pop stars, two comedians, a vicar and a Paralympian athlete help to make up the starstudded line-up for the latest series of Strictly Come Dancing. The new series will begin with a launch show on BBC One on the 9th September. Here is a complete rundown of the 15 contestants who will strut their stuff on the show's 15th series. Chizzy Akudolu from Holby. Actress and former glamour model Gemma Atkinson. Alexandra Burke The X Factor winner. Susan Calman she is a comedian. Writer and broadcaster: The Reverend Richard Coles. Comedian, actor and TV presenter Brian Conley. EastEnders actor Davood Ghadami. Charlotte reporter on LBC, Sky News and Channel 5. Saturdays singer Mollie King. TV presenter Ruth Langsford. Scottish actor Joe McFadden best known for his role in Holby City. Debbie McGee: wife of Paul Daniels on his TV magic show in the 1980s. Aston Merrygold was a member of boyband JLS. Chef Simon Rimmer. Jonnie Peacock athlete he has won gold a number of times but can he win the Strictly glitterball? Chef Simon Rimmer. We are shimming in our seats in anticipation, remember until the 9th keep dancing...
OLD CAST MEMBERS FILM NEW SCENES IN ESSEX... They were part of the original TOWIE cast. Lauren Pope & Mario Falcone stirred up the nostalgia as they were spotted filming in Essex last month. Lauren,was joined by Mario, he has reportedly being lined up to rejoin the show to document his wedding preparations with new fiancee Becky Miesner. With the start date for the new series confirmed for September, the new trailer also features a very familiar face in the form of James Argent another member of the old cast to return. The Only Way Is Essex returns to ITVBe this month.
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HOT BABY GOSSIP...
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p i s s z i o b G how S
KATE MIDDLETON PREGNANT...? Kate Middleton has sent the rumour mill into overdrive that she's expecting once again. Kate was previously overheard telling her husband Prince William they would just need "to have more babies" after after receiving a gift of soft toys, hinting the couple could be trying for a brother or sister for Prince George and Princess Charlotte. She was rushed to hospital just weeks ago for an unknown reason, but was released the following day. According to a US Magazine, a friend of the couple said Kate and Wills "want a third baby soon".
JAMIE TELLS LOUISE, WILL ANOTHER BABY HELP...? As
Louise takes drastic measures to launch a modelling career, Jamie issues an ultimatum… Louise Redknapp is busy, busy busy at the moment. She’s set to make her West End debut in Cabaret later this year and the 42-year-old has been back in the studio for the first time since 2000. Following a split last month Jamie’s so determined to get his family back to normal he’s told Louise he’ll have another baby providing she stops putting herself under so much strain. Louise who has two sons, Charley, 13, and Beau, 8, with Jamie has spoken in the past of her desire to have more children and in particular a daughter. Feeling in a bit of a pickle Louise really doesn’t know what to do...
GEMMA COLLINS QUEST TO HAVE A BABY… Gemma Collins is like
all of us always on a diet. The TOWIE star has previously attempted to lose weight in order to have a baby. After a string of unsuccessful relationships Gemma, 36, is laying the blame on her body and is on a mission to shed the pounds once and for all. Even best mate Bobby Norris has even offered his sperm to help her have a baby, but Gemma wants her happily ever after now. Hopefully she get it very soon!
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The World's leading expert on Wasps... The world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "JUST RELEASED - NEW LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make, available now" Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window." Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you." The man goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I recognised none of those." "I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step back into the booth, I can let you "MMMM have another ten minutes." The expert steps back into the booth and M, it’s buzz ing!" replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I do n't understand it", he says, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!" "I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes." Sighing, the expert steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the top expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make in the world and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP." The young assistant looked at the LP and said, "I really am terribly sorry, I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."
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It’s a funny old world...
Proof That The World is Nuts... Very strange laws on (cough, cough) Sex from around the globe!
Men aren’t allowed to kiss their wives’ breasts in Florida. (Don’t be a boob man in Florida, you’ll be massivly out of luck). Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. (The bathroom isn’t off limits though luckly...) The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!") In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)
e, ,he,he,h “He,he a,ha” ,h a ,h ha
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It’s a funny old world...
Continued... Proof That The World is Nuts... Very strange laws on (cough, cough) Sex from around the globe!
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!) , e If you couldn’t find the condoms in the first place ,he,he,h “He,he a,ha” and are now having a baby in Denmark... Citizens ,h a ha,h have to select baby names from a list of 7,000 government-approved names. If parents wish to diverge from the list, they must seek approval from the government. About 1,100 novel names are assessed every year and 15% to 20% of them are rejected. (Eccentric celebrity baby names like Apple and Saint wouldn't be aloud in Denmark.)
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TRICKY TRIVIA QUIZ
1) What was Matthew Webb the first person to do in 1875 in a time of 21hrs 45mins? 2) Which Superhero works for The Daily Bugle? 3) What character did Leslie Ash play in Men Behaving Badly? 4) What is 5 cubed? 5) On which river is Niagara Falls? 6) In which movie does Anne Hathaway work for the Meryl Streep at the prestigious fashion magazine, Runway? 7) What colour is Euston Road on a Monopoly board? 8) In the Wild West, how was Henry McCarty better known? 9) Gala, Jonagold and Pink Lady are varieties of which fruit? 10) Which bird gave Fleetwood Mac their first UK number one? 11) Which planet is also known as ‘The Morning Star’?
12) What is traditionally served with ‘Haggis’? 13) In which city is ‘Broadway’? 14) Who had a hit with ‘My Ding-a-Ling? 15) Affenpinscher, Keeshond and Leonberger are all types of what? 16) Anthony Stark is the alter-ego of which super-hero? 17) What is South West Africa now known as? 18) ‘LOVELY’ is an anagram of which tennis word? 19) What do the initials ‘ET’ stand for in the Steven Spielberg film? 20) What is three eighths of 96? 21)Which political party did Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin represent? 22) Moving clockwise on a dartboard, which number is next to 17?
23) Mintaka, Alnilam and Alnitak are three stars that make up what? 24) Which tree can be ‘white’ or ‘weeping’? 25) How many pounds in a hundredweight? 26) How many stones did David take for his fight with Goliath? One, Five or Fifteen? 27) In a standard set of playing cards which is the only king without a moustache? 28) How many years of marriage is denoted by a ‘Diamond’ wedding anniversary? 29) In which city did rhyming slang originate? 30) Who was the Roman God of War?
Answers on page 80
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It’s a funny old world...
Continued...Proof That The World is Nuts... Very strange laws on (cough, cough) Sex from around the globe!
In Bhutan, most of the buildings are adorned with erect penises. The small country nestled in the Himalayans is not for the prudish... Fly to Bhutan and you'll be surrounded by murals of floating phalluses. To the predominantly Buddhist population, the male organ is a symbol of fertility and wards off evil spirits. (A floating phalluse?) Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) You can’t have sex on a parked motorcycle in London. Does this mean it’s ok to have sex on a moving motorcycle in London? In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by e, death. (Like THAT makes sense.) ,he,he,h “He,he a,ha” ha,ha,h
In France... An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera. This explains a lot!
In Bakersfield, California... We know it’s difficult to resist but you can not, we repeat CAN NOT, have sex with Satan unless you’re wearing a condom. So if you fancy doing the dirty to the Devil, make sure you have a condom in you’re wallet....
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hee-haw, HEE-HAW... One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well...
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realised what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
"HEL I’m in th P e well?"
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Then the same again and again...
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! Continued on page 34...
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GADGETS &Gizmo’s Miss out on the SNES Classic pre-orders that went up (and promptly sold out) overnight? Nintendo has a consolation prize for you. Sort of. The storied game-maker will release a Super Nintendo-themed 3DS XL this October currently exclusive to Europe, price is unconfirmed at the moment, but exoect it to be around 165€ If there's one thing to learn from Nintendo's nostalgic reissues, even a 3DS painted to look like an SNES could become a hassle to buy.
The latest wearable camera to hit the market comes from mesh WiFi product maker Ubiquiti Networks. The FrontRow camera is a small device that can be worn around the neck or clipped on and it can snap photographs and livestream video for around two hours before needing to recharge and as it's Android based, it can run a number of apps.
Convoys of semi-autonomous trucks are expected to be tested on roads in the UK by the end of 2018.The truck at the front of a convoy remains under human control, Wireless connections keep all trucks talking to each other so the self-driving trucks can immediately respond to changes in the lead lorry's direction and speed so it should be possible to create a much tighter convoy than would be safe if humans were in charge. This gives the potential to ease congestion, and reducing drag on the trailing trucks, meaning better fuel efficiency and lower emissions. Not everyone is convinced the UK is the best place for the trials!
If comfort reigns supreme when you are gaming, get ready to wrap your thumbs around Razer's latest controller for Xbox and PC, the Wolverine Ultimate. Designed for maximum customisation and features interchangeable D-Pads, a range of interchangeable thumbsticks with varying heights and shapes, and six remappable triggers and buttons. It looks good, too and is this month, priced around 180€.
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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming... Western Digital has unveiled the 20TB My Book Duo, its highest-capacity storage system yet, and it's a good example of the pluses and minuses of spinning hard disks compared to SSDs. For about 700€ you will get decent 360 MB/s speeds, enough to do video editing and other disk-intensive chores. The box includes a USB 3.1 Type-C interface port and two USB 3.0 Type-A ports that can be used to connect flash drives and other accessories to your PC.
If you're still chasing the Marty McFly dream, Nike's self-tightening shoe is coming around for the second time this weekend. While a few pairs of the $720 HyperAdapt 1.0 were available late last year, the company is rolling more out around the world over the next few months. That includes the original Black/White-Blue Lagoon colour scheme, as well as a Black/White-Red Lagoon scheme that have just gone on sale. Be quick though, because by the time you are reading this they will probably all have sold.
Last year anyone’s dreams of owning a Galaxy Note literally went up in flames so Samsung's have got some bridges to rebuild with the Note 8. Of course the battery had to be changed and it has, it also has a larger 6.3-inch screen and a dual camera to rival the iphone 7. The S Pen can be used for designing your own GIFs or sending live messages and the new Gear VR is going to be enough for it too.
Whilst on the subject of Samsung, their new CHG90 is the widest QLED monitor going, measuring 49 inches from corner to corner. With a resolution of 3840x1080 it’s not 4K but it does support HDR, so you can edit snaps on one side while watching Netflix on the other. Its 1ms response time should keep gamers going, which is just as well, because you wouldn’t want to waste a monitor like this on spread sheets, would you?
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hee-haw, HEE-HAW...
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen. 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less
NOW........ Enough of this crap! "HEL I’m in th P e well?"
The donkey later came back and bit the **** out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock. HA,HA!
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
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Top Quality British Beds Sofas and Solid Oak Furniture
; Top British brand names in stock ; All bed sizes including SUPERKING ; Luxury British Sofas ; Superior Solid Oak Furniture ; Bedding, Pillows & Mattress Toppers
; “Design your own� service ; 30 Headboard Styles & 120 fabrics ; NEXT DAY Delivery ; Unbeatable Prices ; Direct from the Warehouse
www.bedwarehousespain.com bedwarehousespain@hotmail.com
Tel: (+34) 634 187 700 Emma or (+34) 600 633 986 The Bed Warehouse Showroom: Local 66-69, Centro Commercial El Zoco, Calahonda
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 1:56 pm Page 36
your MIND ownB BUSI
H T N O M E H T F BUSINESS O
A fantastic home and income, Cortes de la Frontera: 45 Minutes from the coast 595,000â‚Ź
Detached house with pool and half a hectare of land, vineyard and winery, fruit, nut and olive trees also a further cottage providing a rental income.
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
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BUSINESS SINESS
SALES
&
RENTALS
WANTED!
PROPERTY MANAGEMENT COMPANY
BETWEEN FUENGIROLA AND ESTEPONA REWARD UP TO 80.000 EURO WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 1:56 pm Page 38
your MIND ownB B U S I
Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges
Real Estate Agency, Marbella - 95.000€
This Real estate agency has been established for four years and is run from home with minimal outgoings With considerable room for expansion, and increased profits
General Store - La Cala de Mijas 15.000€
Located on a busy road with traffic passing all day, there are cafés, shops and bars in the same road and the parade is well known, approximately 90m2.
Very Popular Café/Bar in Manilva 45.000€
This Lovely café was refurbished about 18 months ago Enjoying a fantastic reputation, located in an attractive square Always popular and has a loyal regular local clientèle
Highly Profitable Italian Restaurant close to Estepona - 150.000€
This highly profitable, well established Italian Pizza/ Pasta restaurant is well known for it’s high quality, low cost food
www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 1:56 pm Page 39
BUSINESS S I N E S S
S A L E S
&
R E N TA L S
for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee
Extremely Popular Restaurant and Bar in Puerto Banus 495.000€
A very well known restaurant located in an ideal busy position A fantastic opportunity further details can be provided upon request
Lovely Local Restaurant Between Mijas and Fuengirola, 39.950€
This well regarded restaurant has an excellent reputation with certificates of excellence from Trip Advisor
Airport Transfer Company: 495.000€
This minibus transfer business has been est over 10 years in the Malaga area and specialises in Airport transfers for holidaymakers to all areas of the Costa del Sol
Ladies Designer Dress Agency Between San Pedro & Estepona - 35.000€
Specialising in new and nearly new ladies fashion clothes handbags shoes and accessories, established over 20 years
WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 1:56 pm Page 40
The good Samaritan...
A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices an old drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him. The man walks over and tries to wake Mr. Murphy but Mr. Murphy is groggy and quite drunk. The man helps Mr. Murphy to his feet and Mr. Murphy falls to the floor in a heap. "Bloody hell," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. Once there he leans him against the side of his car while he "Are you looks for his keys. Mr.Murphy slides down to the Mr. Mur OK phy?" ground. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car. He then drives to the address the bartender gave him. He opens the passenger door and helps Mr. Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground. Swearing softly, now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. He lets go of Mr. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. He helps him to his feet as Mrs. Murphy answers the door. "Hi, Mrs. Murphy, Your husband had a little too much to drink tonight so I gave him a lift home." "That was nice of you dear," she says, looking around... "But where's his wheelchair?"
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Frontline Café/Bar, Benalmadena P.O.A
Restaurant, Torremolinos
Stunning frontline Café / Bar with fantastic sea views 86m2 plus 50m2 terrace available as a Rent to buy, long lease or freehold. Property ID: BB00167
Very busy restaurant refurbished in the last few months 110m2 and 55m2 enclosed terrace - currently trading as an Indian buffet. Property ID: BT00016
Café/Bar, Fuengirola Port 17.950€
Luxurious Restaurant, Mijas Costa 115.000€
Situated in Fuengirola Port this lovely café/bar is in one of the few working ports on the Costa del Sol. 80m2 plus 40m2 terrace. Property ID: BF00233
Luxurious restaurant with excellent views in a busy location, 205m2 & 60m2 terrace provide up to 170 covers plus staff accommodation. Property ID: BM00017
50.000€
Tel: 952 476 108 Mobile: 685 193 673 or 640 345 164 info@barsforsalespain.com
www.barsforsalespain.com Calle Hernan Cortes, Bajo 3, Fuengirola (Behind the Carousel opposite the Port)
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A Man’s World
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX... Two men were talk-
ing. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”
A VERY FRISKY WIFE... One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.
A DISTRESSED MAN... Whilst attending a funeral of a very distant relative, Michael heard a sobbing from a nearby grave followed by the words.... “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” So Michael made his way over to the grave and said to a very distressed man “I am sorry for your loss, was it your wife?” “No said the man tearfully – Why did you have to die?” Michael asked, “Was it your brother or your sister?” “No said the man tearfully... Why did you have to die?” Michael asked, “Was it one of your parents?” “No said the man tearfully – Why did you have to die?” Michael asked, “Was it a close friend?” “No said the man tearfully – Why did you have to die?” Michael said “forgive me for asking, but if it wasn’t your wife, it wasn’t your brother or sister and it wasn’t a friend, then who died?” The man turned and said – “My wife’s first husband!”
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The Brit Pack HD Satellite Systems m FroTHE
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Call: 952 763 840 / 635 400 099
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Medical Mayhem
MEDICAL & BIOLOGICAL...
FACTS & TRIVIA to make the mind boggle!
• At just 12 weeks the human foetus can scowl and squint. • One in every 1000 babies is born with a tooth. • More germs are transferred shaking hands than kissing. • Each person sheds 22 kilograms of skin in his or her lifetime. • Tooth decay has led to 60% of adults losing their upper right, middle molar. • Our lungs inhale over two million litres of air every day, without even thinking. Their surface area is large enough to cover one side of a tennis court.
• A person will die from lack of sleep sooner than they will from starvation, which usually takes a few weeks. • The soles of your feet contain more sweat glands and more pressure-sensitive nerve endings per square inch than any other part of your body. • If you remove the minerals from a bone by soaking it overnight in a six percent solution of hydrochloric acid, it will become so soft, you could tie it in a knot. • When you look at an object, the image of that object appears upside down on your retina. However, your brain automatically corrects for this, allowing you to perceive the object the right side up. • If the lining of mucus were to disappear from your stomach, your stomach would digest itself.
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This is Molly... Meet Molly she is a small dog weighing 6-7kg she was born on the 18th of March 2013. We rescued her form a dog pound. She is brown with white patches and of mixed breed. Molly is very shy at the moment but would love a new home wtih lots of affection and cuddles.
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September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 1:58 pm Page 47
HOME RENOVATIONS & SWIMMING POOLS • Solar Hot Water & Pool Heating • Removable & Glass Pool Fencing • Solar & Automatic Pool Covers • Kitchen & Bathroom Reforms • Garden Decking • Tiling & Patios
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Medical Tips
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WHY CAN’T I SLEEP?...
Almost half of adults don’t get enough sleep, or what they get isn’t good enough. Whether you struggle to fall asleep or can’t seem to stay that way, there’s a reason why the sleep you need is so elusive.
THE FIX: Stop the jolt flow at least 5 hours before you go to bed sooner if you know you’re especially sensitive. Most caffeine leaves your system within 7 hours. But if you get really jittery after a single cup of coffee, stick to one before lunch.
4)
YOUR BED IS ANYTHING BUT DREAMY: If you toss and turn, it could be So why are you finding it so hard to nod off?
1)
YOU CHECK YOUR PHONE OR COMPUTER BEFORE BED: Social media and email can bring stress. That can make you struggle to sleep, the other issue with phone time before bedtime? Your brain thinks the artificial light from the screen is daylight. So, your body doesn’t make as much of something called melatonin. That’s a chemical that helps you sleep. If you don’t have enough of it, you may get insomnia the inability to fall or stay asleep.
your mattress. The position you sleep in can also make you uncomfortable, which can make it hard to sleep. Your dog or cat may also be the cause of your blurry-eyed mornings. A partner who kicks or takes up more than half the bed could be the offender, too. They may be rousing you and keeping you from getting the quality sleep you need.
THE FIX: Kick your pet out of your bed.
And if your partner takes up a lot of the bed, consider a bigger mattress. You’ll sleep better if you have room to move. Still unconformable? Try sleeping on your side THE FIX: Turn off all digital devices including your with a thin pillow between your legs and mobile phone, computer, and television at least an knees. hour before you end your day. What’s going to be that urgent it can’t wait until the morning? YOUR BEDROOM IS TOO WARM
2)
5)
OR BRIGHT: A cool room mirrors the natuYOU GO TO BED AT DIFFERENT TIMES ral drop in body temperature you have EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK: Hitting the hay at when you’re sleeping. If your room is too
9:30 on Wednesday and midnight on Saturday can throw off your body’s internal clock. That can make it harder for you to fall and stay asleep. It can also make you groggy and tired when you wake up.
hot, it becomes harder for your body to cool down the way it needs to. The same goes for light. Even small amounts can give you less melatonin, which will make you feel THE FIX: You may not be able to go to bed at the alert at bedtime. But the darker your room, same time every day, boring as it is try not to vary by the easier it is for your brain to enter “sleep mode.” more than 30 to 45 mins, even at the weekend.
3)
THE FIX: Most research shows around 68 YOU POWER THROUGH YOUR LATE degrees are ideal for sleep. If your window AFTERNOON SLUMP WITH A CUP OF COFFEE coverings let light in, think about lightOR TEA : Caffeine has many health perks. But it has blocking shades or curtains. You could
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one major downside… It disrupts your brain’s ability hang a sheet or blanket over the window. to keep track of how long it has been awake, making you more alert than you should be when you drink it. If you’re a coffee/tea lover, or you regularly down other drinks with caffeine, you might think that you’ve built up a tolerance to it and that you can still have a cup of coffee before bed.
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THE ENGLISH DENTAL PRACTICE Dr. Alex McCubbin
Susana Lucena - Hygienist
Tel: 952 466 056 www.englishdentalpractice.com info@englishdentalpractice.com
find us on facebook
Edif. Don Marcelo, Bajo. Local 2D Edif.Jesús DonSantos Marcelo, Avda. Rein, 10 Fuengirola 29640 Bajo. Local 2DMálaga.
Avda. Jesús Santos Rein, 10 Fuengirola 29640 Málaga.
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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A nurse led service ƉƌŽǀŝĚŝŶŐ ĂŶ ŝŶŶŽǀĂƟǀĞ ĂŶĚ ŚŽůŝƐƟĐ ĂƉƉƌŽĂĐŚ to healthcare that brings the values and ƉƌĂĐƟĐĞƐ ŽĨ Ă ƌŝƟƐŚ Health Centre to the Costa del Sol enabling your access to a ĨĂŵŝůŝĂƌ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ͘
www.clinicamedicare.com info@clinicamedicare.com
Contact us today
952 835 776 Located in La Cala de Mijas, just around the ĐŽƌŶĞƌ ĨƌŽŵ ƚŚĞ W 'ĂƌĂŐĞ͘
Breast Cancer: Did you know ?? >> Since the early 1990's rates have tripled in Europe. >> 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer every year. >> 20% of breast cancer cases in Europe will effect women under 50: 40% will effect those aged between 50 - 64. This is why access to screening is essential to women of all ages. >> Education, self-examination and regular screen could help save your life
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Established on the Costa del Sol in 2001
www.clinicamedicare.com info@.clinicamedicare.com
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:00 pm Page 51
Breast Cancer & Screening
Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women. The lifetime risk of developing breast cancer is one in eight. Each year there are approximately 41,000 new diagnoses. Since 1990 cases in Europe have tripled. The incidence of breast cancer for men is on the increase too with approximately 300 new cases diagnosed yearly in the UK. It has been shown that early detection of breast cancer can improve the outcome. Survival rates from breast cancer have improved partly in recent years due to early presentation and from individuals being breast aware.
What Is Breast Awareness? Breast awareness is a process of knowing what is normal for you and becoming familiar with the appearance of your breasts. It is about being aware of your breasts when carrying out daily activities such as washing and dressing. By looking and feeling and becoming more familiar with your breasts at different times you can become more breast aware. You do not have to examine your breasts in a particular way or at a particular time. Do what feels best for you and make breast awareness a normal part of caring for your body. 90% of cases of breast cancer are detected by women themselves or by their partners. By being breast aware and knowing what is normal for you will be able to detect any changes, should they happen. Follow the Breast Awareness Five Point Code:
• Know what is normal for you • Look and feel • Know what changes to look for • Report any changes without delay • Attend for breast screening
The Normal Breast: It is important to know what is normal to expect breasts to feel like and also how they can change throughout your lifetime. Before the menopause breasts feel different at different times of the month, as they are affected by the hormonal changes in the milk producing tissue. For some women their breasts may feel lumpy or tender before a period. After the menopause the breasts will not be affected by monthly hormonal changes and will feel less firm, softer and without lumps. If you have had a hysterectomy your breasts will usually show the same monthly changes until the time when your periods would have stopped.
Changes to Look Out For: When looking at and feeling your breasts be aware of anything that is new for you or that is not normal for you. Look for any changes in the skin, any puckering or dimpling. Look and feel for any lumps or bumps, especially if different from the other breast. Be aware of any pain or discomfort in one breast that does not go away. Also be aware of any changes in your nipples; any discharge, bleeding or rash or any change in the position of your nipple. It is important to know what sort of changes to look out for, but it is equally important to report them to your Healthcare Professional without delay. They are many reasons for breasts to change and many of them are harmless, but they all need to be checked out. You will not be wasting anybody’s time and the earlier any problems are detected the easier the treatment is likely to be.
Accessing a Breast Screening Programme: The lifetime risk of developing breast cancer increases with age, 20% of all breast cancers will affect women under the age of 50 and 40% of all breast cancers will affect those women between the ages of 50 and 64. Education, self examination and access to an annual screening programme could save your life. Screening should be available to all women regardless of age and should include a consultation to establish your medical & family history, a physical examination and then a mammogram or ultrasound (or sometimes both). This is the “Gold Standard” in breast screening programmes. At Clinica Medicare all of our tests are carried by our female Nurse Practitioner who has many years experience in women’s health.
Please contact the Clinic if you have any further queries or would like to book an appointment:
Tel: 952 83 57 76 Email: info@clinicamedicare.com
Health & Well Being
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TOP 10 HEALTH TIPS FOR MEN
ADVICE ON HOW TO TURBO CHARGE YOUR LIFE AND FEEL FANTASTIC. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR HEALTH, GENTS. THE SOONER YOU DO IT, THE BETTER.
not something you should compromise. Not sleeping see the ‘Medical Tips’ page to find out why...
CHECK WHERE YOUR HEAD IS AT:
Mental health is really, really important. Think about several things: Are you drinking too much? Are you paying attention to signs of depression , which often get missed? If you have a family history of mental illness, or substance abuse, you really need someone to help you review the signs and symptoms.
STAY READY FOR SEX:
FIND A MEDICAL PROFESSONAL YOU TRUST:
Choose one you're comfortable with, so you can openly discuss all aspects of your health, from your mental state to your sexual function to your overall wellness.
SEE THAT MEDICAL PROFESSONAL:
Just because you are feeling well doesn’t mean you are well. Do you have a tendency toward denial? Don’t ignore things, vision loss, or chest pain. Unfortunately, men have a tendency to do just this. If you are not feeling the best seek medical attention.
GET INFORMED:
You do want to be knowledgeable and understand that you shouldn’t ignore symptoms or complaints, but you don’t want to self-diagnose. Google isn’t a Doctor you know.... 52
When you’re stressed out, not sleeping, or drinking too much, you can’t get an erection and believe it or not a man’s erection is a barometer for EXERCISE THE RIGHT WAY: overall health. Exercising, eating The body gets very comfortable when well, and sleeping well are the best you always do the same workout ways to be sure you’re a stud in the week in week out. You have got to bedroom. shake it up a bit keep varying your exercises, if you are 20 or 80 you CARE FOR YOUR PROSTATE: need to be doing an age-appropriate The prostate grows as you get older. mix of aerobics, muscle training, and You’ll almost certainly have sympstretching. If you are finding it hard to toms, like urinary problems. A really get inspired get the help of a profes- healthy, low-fat diet will reduce the sional. You don’t try to fix your car likelihood of prostate growth and yourself do you? Get to the gym or may reduce the risk of prostate canhire a personal trainer to help you out cer of the rut. ENJOY YOURSELF: Look forward to every day, to doing EAT TO THRIVE: Getting enough nutrition is crucial. something for yourself, whether it’s a Food is fuel so eating is as important run or listening to music or playing a as sleeping focus on nutrients rather sport or catching up with a mate. than calories, and eat a variety of Don’t save up all of your fun for holihealthy foods. Remember your five a days. You only get one chance at this life... day. NEXT MONTH THE TOP 10 HEALTH PRIORITISE SLEEP: TIPS FOR WOMEN... Get at least 7 hours a night. Sleep is
CHECK OUT... our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:00 pm Page 53
Alhaurín Dental Centre Free Initial Consultation!
NERVOUS? We offer sedation in a comfortable, relaxed, safe environment. Member of the Spanish Society of Oral Surgery SE0B - Colegio Oficial de odontologos de Malaga Number: 29001943 Member of the American Dental Association, American Academy of Implant Dentistry, American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry - Academy of General Dentistry and the International Congress of Oral Implantologists
Telephone: 654 996 026 by appointment only www.alhaurindentalcentre.com We are near the Centro De Meditatacion Kadampa, near Lauro Golf “Casa Soraya” Nº47 Camino Fuente Del Perro, AlhaurÍn El Grande, Malaga 29120 - A404 Km 12
Beauty at the Alhaurín Dental Centre Botox and Fillers from 199€ "All you have to lose are your lines...Look Better, Feel Better, Live Better!"
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September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:01 pm Page 54
Minted Lamb Meatball Tagine Ingredients:
Method:
1) Put the lamb mince into a •500g (1lb 2oz) lamb mince bowl. Season and add the •Salt & ground black pepper spices, parsley, mint and half •1tsp ground ginger the onion and garlic. Mix •1tsp ground cumin well. Using damp hands, •2 tbsp each fresh parsley and mint shape the mixture into 20 •1 onion, finely chopped walnut-sized balls and set •2 garlic cloves, crushed aside. •2tbsp olive oil 2) Heat the oil in a nonstick lidded pan and cook the remaining onion •1 cinnamon stick, halved and garlic for 3-4 minutes until soft. Add the cinnamon stick, chopped •400g (14oz) ripe tomatoes, chopped tomatoes, tomato purée and apricots, then stir in the stock and honey. •3tbsp tomato purée Bring to the boil and cook for 5 minutes. •12-16 dried apricots 3) Add the meatballs to the sauce, reduce the heat and cover the pan. •200ml (7fl oz) chicken stock Simmer for 20-25 minutes until the meatballs are cooked. •1tsp runny honey 4) Meanwhile, place the couscous and olive oil in a heatproof bowl. Pour For the herbed couscous just enough boiling hot water over the couscous to cover it, then cover 200g (7oz) couscous the bowl with a plate and leave for 10-12 minutes until the liquid is 1tbsp olive oil absorbed. Fluff up the grains with a fork, season and stir in the herbs. 25g (1oz) fresh mint and coriander Remove the cinnamon stick from the meatball sauce. Garnish with extra Pomegranate seeds (optional) mint and the pomegranate seeds, if using, then serve with the couscous.
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September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:01 pm Page 55
ALL REVVED UP
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PEBBLE BEACH 2017
The 67th Annual The Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance 2017 was held last month in, California. More than 200 automotive treasures lined the 17th and 18th holes of the famed Pebble Beach Golf Links the pinnacle of Monterey Classic Car Week.
The ‘American Dream Cars of the 1960s’ class on show caught our eye. This is a 1960 DiDia 150 Coupe, originally owned by Bobby Darin. Built by Clarkaiser, the 150 Coupe has a paint job that is 30 layers thick, and crushed diamonds help bring out the colour. Subtle, it isn't. Not all of the cars at Pebble Beach are old – there were many new concepts revealed including this Infiniti Prototype 9 based on a “theoretical barn find” it uses an electric motor from Nissan’s Advanced Powertrain Department, which may well end up in the next generation Nissan Leaf!!
The Rolls Royce Phantom III Sedanca built by Freestone and Webb in 1946 is a very elegant machine. The finish and was designed to ensure that the car stood out in the European Concours d’Elegance events it was built to win .All of the chrome was re-plated in copper and the wings and running boards also received a burnished copper finish. It is known as The Copper Kettle. This unique prototype 1967 Ferrari 206 Dino Competizione Pininfarina Coupe followed the Dino 206 racing cars that raced at Le Mans. This one-off 206 chassis, built by Ferrari, went to Pininfarina to receive a custom body. It used an engine from one of three Dinos that raced at Le Mans in 1966.
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There was only one XK120 by produced Pininfarina, which makes this one of the rarest Jaguars in existence, after 6,725 hours performing a full nut and bolt restoration on the rare Pininfarina bodied 1954 Jaguar XK120 SE was one of the stars of the show.
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:01 pm Page 57
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Strange Strangebuttrue...
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:01 pm Page 58
SOME STRANGE & SLIGHTLY DISTURBING PERCENTAGES... Giving up on the human race? You might have to if you believe some of these strange %’s.! • 10% of us switch price tags in the shops to pay less for an item. • How far would you go for €10 million? 25% would abandon their friends and family. • 7% would commit murder. • When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton. • Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side. • 22% leave the toothpaste we have spilled in the basin. • 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery. • 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on. • 62% of us pop our spots. • 33% of women lie about their weight. • 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost. • 44% have broken a bone. • 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home. • 46.5% of men say they always put the seat down after they’ve used the toilet..... Yet women claim to always find it up. • 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat. • Only 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet. • 45.2% would wee in the shower and 44.9% would wee in the sea. • 28.1% would wee in the pool.
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September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:01 pm Page 60
Poor Old Piddles...
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air.
She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, “I'm afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy.”
“So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?” asked Lucy as she fought back the tears. At a loss for something to say the father replied, “Piddles’' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Piddles up to heaven.” Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said....
“So w h stickin y are his le g g like th up in the s air at, Da ddy?”
“Mummy almost died this morning.”
Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, “What do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!” “Well,” mumbled Lucy, “soon after you left for work this morning I saw mummy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, ‘Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!’ and if it hadn’t been for the milkman holding her down she definitely would have gone, Daddy.”
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September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:03 pm Page 62
What’s On Guide...
2nd to the 3rd September 2017: Gibraltar Calling get excited music fans! MTV Presents Gibraltar Calling is the perfect end of summer festival that combines music, sun and sea for a magical weekend. Featuring Bananarama, Bastille, Craig David, Charli XCX, Clean Bandit, Fatboy Slim, Glen Matlock, Go West, Hinds, Jonas Blue, Kaiser Chiefs Midge Ure, Steve Aoki, The Amazons, The Vaccines Tinie Tempah, Years & Years and many more! For more info see: www.gibraltarcalling.com 5th to the 12th September 2017: The Mijas Feria. A huge choice of food and drink stalls circle the main square, with live entertainment being held in the centre. You´ll see plenty of people dressed in traditional feria clothing, and is a great time to visit the village and see the fusion of traditional culture and modern entertainment. 17th September 2017: Butterfly Children’s Ball taking place on the terrace of Aloha Golf Club restaurant, enjoy the amazing views whilst indulging in a delicious 3 course meal with fine wines donated by Vinopolis. Afterwards, the soulful sounds of Mr Maph, Simone Lisa and their band are expected to get everyone up and dancing. Bookings www.butterflychildrenball.org or call 952 816 434. 24th September 2017: Marbella Half Marathon. In this 21-kilometer race around Marbella anyone who wishes to do so may participate (over 18’s only). The start of the race will take place at 9 a.m. in the Avenida Ramón y Cajal, at the point of the Alameda Park. For more info see www.marbella.es/deportes/mediamaraton 28th to the 20th September 2017: Senior Masters Cup Marbella, once again, will be the meeting point of one of the best sports and entertainment events worldwide. The best tennis players of all times will take part in the Senior Masters Cup hold at the Club de Tenis Puente Romano. For more info see http://seniormasterscup.com. Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm. Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Call 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Age Care Drop come & chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala, 11am-12.30pm. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Friday: Hard Rock Cafe: Live music happening every Friday see www.hardrock.com/cafes/marbella. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.
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If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669
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Announcing the world’s Newest Cruise Ship and… Marbella Cruisers 2018 Cruise
Departing October 2018 It’s official: Royal Caribbean Internationals newest ship will be Symphony of the Seas. Currently being built in St. Nazaire, France, Symphony will join Oasis-class sister ships Harmony of the Seas, Oasis of the Seas and Allure of the Seas, and will be the 25th ship in the fleet; she’ll also be…
The largest cruise ship in the world and… Marbella Cruisers have reserved 75 cabins at ‘Pre Launch Prices’ We sail the Mediterranean on 7th October 2018 and you are invited to join our group, enjoying our early booking discount, our group discount, free on board spending money for every cabin and as always… …our Marbella Cruiser girls will be by your side ‘Door to Door’. All that will be needed to reserve the cabin of your choice at our pre launch prices will be a 150 pound sterling deposit, payable to our ABTA registered cruise agent by debit or credit card.
Email: colin@marbellacruisers.com Tel: 635 717 211 Check out our website for all cabin options and prices:
www.marbellacruisers.com
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ocal Info Emergency Numbers
---
Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica
Medical
112 091 092 062
Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267
Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026
Health Centres
Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700
Town Halls
Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100
Fire Brigade
Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046
Consulates
British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A
952 952 952 952 952 952 952
Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro
952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252
352 475 226 604 212 226 474
300 108 373 383 442 590 891
Tourist Information
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Transport
Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus
Markets
Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda), Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring) and La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).
Cinemas
All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622
Chemists
24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89
Taxis
Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593
Diary Dates
1st September 2017: Dia del Tourista many towns on the Costa del Sol celebrate with traditional dress, dancing and cuisine.
8th September 2017: Mijas “Virgin of the rock”. A Public Holiday with many religious processions. 5th - 12th September 2017: The Mijas Feria.
check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE
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Harry’s Sports Bar
Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before
All Live Sports & Premiere League Football. Six TV’s & Big Screen. Full menu... Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda
After
Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info
GBTV 15 Freesat HD Channels via Satellite Dish including:
NO INTERNET REQUIRED
Call Tom: 603 258 751
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:03 pm Page 66
S TA R S I GN S
A look at what's in store for you during September 2017...
Capricorn
Aquarius
Aquarius, after an agitated month last month, you can now enjoy a peaceful and pleasant home and love life. The transit of Venus through your sign means more significant happenings with Saturn and Jupiter the configuration speaks of a major emotional event or a great achievement. September 2017 is very financial in nature. Increasing your interest in business, investments or any other money-related pursuits. You could have more to do with financial institutions or things to do with an inheritance. Things seem to be related to collaboration with clients your career is automatically connected to all of this. Avoid rushing and impulsivity in financial decisions though! You could feel rather stressed at this time or maybe some other sort of anxiety. You should relax and not worry over imagined issues.
Pisces
Pisces, September 2017 has strong emotional connections, which change your life marriage or a very strong connection to someone. There is a lot of commotion that generates passion or the possibility of having to choose between more options just lots of remarkable events either through significance or intensity. The term brings wind in your sails and new strength. During the first two weeks of September 2017 there’s a positive combination between Venus and Jupiter. The configuration is good for professional development that can make your work more productive and more pleasant. Make others get involved in joint efforts, don’t let all the responsibility rest on your shoulders! As the month is very busy you get pretty agitated at times and you try too much for others. You should take more care of yourself as well.
Aries
Taurus
Gemini 66
Capricorn, your love life is revolving around deep feelings this month, emotions are at a high; if you are in a relationship these can be both good and bad. The Moon increases your chances at love during the September 9th-11th term, it’s also in your sign on the 14th-15th and on 20th-22nd when it’s close to the Great Benefic Jupiter, now is a great time if you are single to find ‘the one’. During the first two weeks of September 2017, Venus, Saturn and Jupiter create a really great configuration for business; it may bring extra income that would make your efforts more profitable. Successes from this will be most visible during the last weeks of the month. You will defiantly see much improvement in stamina and morale this month. Although you will feel stressed for a while it may be a good idea to learn a relaxation technique that you can practice regularly!
Aries, September is the best month of 2017 if you are looking for love. Jupiter, Venus and the Sun are all in your sign bringing with them both significant and happy events this month. Venus is also in conjunction with the North Node, sign that something memorable will happen – something very meaningful. September is a very dynamic month for your professional life. Everything is going your way the stars seem to rearrange things according to your needs or aspirations. Work hard and in an ordered way to achieve lasting results. Put your priorities in order, delegate responsibilities, and patiently take things one at a time. Financially, you do well during the first two weeks. Now is a great time to take things into your own hands and initiate things that could improve your health or shape. Taurus, the month of September is going to blow your mind as regards your love life. The Sun and Mars, Mercury, and Venus are full of desire and burning passion. It’s a fantastic term for amorous opportunities and creates a climate that predisposes toward falling in love. Careful who you fall for though, because there’s significant risk of self-delusion! During the first part of September 2017 achievements and success are welcomed on the work front you with positive consequences on money and investments. If you are looking for a promotion the stars are expressing your talent, and can offer circumstances that put you in a favorable light. September 2017 is an excellent term for working out in any way, walks at the gym or bike rides, or playing sports get out and about and enjoy the summer. Gemini, Jupiter still has your back during September 2017 when it comes to love and relationships, but, working closely with Saturn, it’s encouraging more thought towards relationships than new love. For those who are single, keep in mind that love not backed up by serious intentions doesn’t give much satisfaction, and can even create complications – more so during the second part of the month. During September 2017, the Sun, Mars, Mercury, and Venus see you with your head down as far as work is concerned it is intense, but removed from the spotlight so you seem to get a lot done. Chances for success increase during the last week of September 2017. Mercury resuming its direct motion makes things livelier with the promise new contacts and earnings. On September 5th 2017 Mercury, resumes its direct motion with a positive effect on energy.
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Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Cancer, Saturn and Venus are spreading love, luck, and harmony on you for the first two weeks of September 2017, this being more active during the second week. It’s also possible you’ll have fluctuating feelings this month, even manifesting an interest in two people at the same time! You have got the smarts this September 2017 your abilities to calculate workout and solve issues is amazing. The powers that be will notice your abilities and rewards you generously there might even be more than needed, like receiving a gift or a perk. Work responsibilities could also involve a series of meetings or travels. The last week comes with luck related to properties and business in constructions or real estate. You are feeling a little stressed throughout September 2017 and there’s an energy that can translate into agitation or a predisposition toward overdoing it you should take short breaks and relax when you can.
Leo, during the first two weeks of the month you have Venus on your side bringing with it love and good luck. Your charm and power of seduction with be highlighted giving you lots of opportunities for love. Also, Venus with Jupiter are in your sign offering a very rare combination that’s full of beautiful possibilities, bringing fulfillment and happiness. With Venus situated in Leo and making positive changes, the first two weeks of September 2017 look to be full of success and prestige. A wave of energy flows into your house of money, to come out a winner, you need to weigh your options well. You are focused more on business, seeking new ways to enhance your income or you’re driven to get involved in various financial pursuits. Your mood is excellent during the first two weeks of September 2017; you cheerful and optimistic with loads of energy get outdoors why not take up a new sport?
Virgo, September 22nd 2017, the radiant Sun gives you brilliance lots vitality and high visibility. It makes you stand out, puts you in a favourable situations and lots of luck. Mars enters your sign on September 5th, nothing can stand in your way if you want to seduce, and the energy you exude makes you come across as very sexy. You’re more daring and outgoing than usual, so it’s way easier to make the first step if you want to meet the one! On the work front Mercury resumes its direct motion on September 5th 2017, and on September 8th enters your sign. You are now really focus on what you have to do. During the last weeks you’ve been analysing your situation and have drawn some conclusions, and now you’re ready for serious action. The Sun moves into your sign later in the month and gives you more authority and higher goals. Also Venus is full of generosity with regard financial rewards.
Libra
Libra, September 2017 sees all sorts happening in the land of love. Venus, Jupiter and Saturn if you are looking for fun, flirts and affairs it’s all good that is if you don’t involve yourself too deeply in feelings. In regard to serious relationships, the location of Mars in your sign, says you’ll deal with solitude or disappointment or maybe even unpleasantness. Maybe save all the serious stuff for next month! On the work front the first two weeks of September 2017 are very favourable for attending conferences or other events where there are big crowds. Venus brings opportunities and luck to you this month meaning lots of your dreams will be coming true. The Sun also enters your sign on September 22nd, favouring ambition and success. Financially, you should be mindful about expenses and careful.
Scorpio
Scorpio, September 2017 sees you very lucky in love… You’re attracted to people of status or with particular qualities or merits. And if they can support you in your own social or professional ambitions, all the better. If you’re already involved you could start having greater expectations from that person you want to see them advance or have success. On September 5th 2017 Mercury resumes its direct motion in your sign exactly where the eclipse of August 21st took place. This event speaks of a change or surprise. Financially, it’s a good term to raise funds you may even receive a gift or some other perk. Ask and you shall receive! During September 2017 you’ll have excellent energy, both physically and mentally. Since you’re on a roll why not get caught in all sorts of activities, take up a new sport or health regime what ever you do you will excel.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, Mercury resumes its direct motion in your sign on September 5th 2017. It’s a turning point in a 3-month-long cycle (July, August, September). This 3-month-long term is meant to have made you analyse many aspects related to love or marriage, particularly through social ties or compatibility. Have you come to any conclusions? September 2017 is an awesome month on the work front the Sun, Mars, and Mercury. With this trine you can achieve amazing things. The Sun improves your prestige. Mars demands action and stimulates your entrepreneurial spirit. Both the Sun and Mars give you ambition, power and influence. So you have wind in your sails – and what strong winds they are! Steer things well and you’ll go places! You’re in better and better shape than you have been in a while, but you’re also stressed out. September 2017 is very demanding and you’ll perform better if you alternate action with rest.
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puzzle Link The Words
Solutions on page 80
it out
In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:
1)
____
GOOD
PAPER
3)
____
TRUNK
BLOCK
2) 4) 5)
____ _____ _____
BUS
CREDIT FORTH
BULLETIN
WATCH
SIGN
JACK
TRADE
TURN
MAP
HANDED
Guess The Celeb
A
B
Sudoku
Brain Teaser
SHERLOCK HOLMES CIPHER PUZZLE... Sherlock, A detective who was mere days from cracking an international smuggling ring has suddenly gone missing. While inspecting his last-known location, you find a note:
710 57735 34 5508 51 7718 Currently there are 3 suspects:
Bill, John, and Todd.
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Can you break the detective's code and find the criminal's name?
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Crossword
Across:
1. Predicament (6) 4. Grass (5) 8. Old Testamant figure (5) 9. Mischievous (7) 10. Inundate (7) 11. French cheese (4) 12. Hill (3) 14. Of the ear (4) 15. Rim (4) 18. Container (3) 21. Weapons (4) 23. Smoothing out (7) 25. Conspicuous (7) 26. Race (5) 27. Follow (5) 28. Loves (6) Down:
1. Ordinary (6) 2. Examine (7) 3. Teach (8) 4. Exchange blows (4) 5. Put off (5) 6. Girl's name (6) 7. Exhausted (5) 13. Relapsed (8) 16. More dirty (7) 17. Riff-raff (6) 19. Dens (5) 20. Way out (6) 22. Funds (5) 24. Destiny (4)
Name The Film
A Staring Jim Carey as a fast-track lawyer B who can't lie for 24 hours due to his son's birthday wish after he turns his son down for the last time (1997).
The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York's secret community of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry Potter reads his book in school (2016).
Say What You See...
two
bye by buy bye
ssssssssss MATCH
eye eye
STOMACH
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The Jokespage
Jokespage
What are these? A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. “Mum”, he asked, “Are these my brains?” “Not yet,” she replied. A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!"
A surgeon was doing the ward rounds
when he came to the bed of a blonde patient who had had an operation the previous day. She asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. “Uh, I hadn't really thought about it,” replied the stunned surgeon. “You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.” Two elderly women meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack, and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead." 72
Three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies,stood right in front of them, and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.
Doctor! Doctor! A man goes into a doctor's surgery. Doctor: "Good morning, what can I do for you?" Patient: "Aaaargh!" Doctor: "I see, that sounds very painful." Patient (in considerable pain): "Eeeeeee!" Doctor: "Have you taken anything for it?" Patient (getting impatient): "Aye!" Doctor: "Well I really don't see what I can do" Patient (now exasperated): "Oooooh!" Doctor: "If you can't describe any other symptoms, I may not be able to help" Patient (reaching the end of his tether): "YOOUU!" Doctor: "Well, I think the problem is irritable vowel syndrome"
RASPBERRIES
MAKE GREAT LEGOMEN AFRO’S
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DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS
High Pressure water jetting Drain tracing, C.C.T.V. Septic tank problems and installations Bath, sinks and toilets unblocked Leak detection and repairs
Fully Qualified, Fully Legal, No Call Out Fee.
Tel: 951 310 111
Mobile: 651 111 005
Email: drainandleaksolutions@hotmail.com
CLMŠ2012
September 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 27/08/17 2:05 pm Page 74
Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little funny!
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
Match the an
imal to what
Give The Elephan t Some Colour
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they eat...
elp the Can you h e his id monkey r to the le c y mono-c t? circus ten
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Kids Page
Help the clown find all the lost circus things in the wordsearch...
circus clown monkey ringmaster bigtop strongman lion
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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers
1) Swim the English Channel 2) Spiderman 3) Deborah (Debs) 4) 125 5) Niagara 6) The Devil Wears Prada 7) Light Blue 8) Billy The Kid 9) Apple 10) Albatros 11) Venus 12) Tatties and Neeps (Potato & Swede) 13) New York 14) Chuck Berry 15) Dog 16) Iron-Man 17) Namibia 18) Volley 19) Extra Terrestrial 20) 36 21) Conservatives 22) 3 23) Orion’s Belt 24) Willow 25) 112 26) Five 27) The king of hearts 28) 60 29) London 30) Mars
Answers from 24, 70 & 71
it out
Link The Words 1) News 2) Stop 3) Road 4) Union 5) Right
Guess The Celeb a) Mick Jagger
b) Geri Halliwell
Brain Teaser
The answer is Bill. If you read the message upside down, you'll notice that the numbers resemble letters and that those letters form legible sentences. The message is 'Bill is boss. He sells oil.'
Crossword Solution
Sudoku Solution
Name The Film
Liar Liar (1997) Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them (2016)
Say What You See 1) Two by Four
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2) Tennis Match
3) Eyes are Bigger Than the Stomach
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Missing out on English Speaking Films? we’ve got just the ticket...
Check out our website..
www.costalinkmagazine.com
films in English listed by Cinema by time updated weekly
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Unique Fires
Costa del Sol Market Leaders in
Real Flame Electric, Gas & Wood Burning Fires FOR CONTEMPORARY & MODERN SPANISH LIVING Unique fires also offer all types of outdoor heating and barbeque's
Tel: +34 951 277 443 Mob: +34 610 654 422 info@uniquefires.com www.uniquefires.com