The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Iquietly sitand here tell
By Susan Binnie
myself I am not good enough; I am not worthy… I cannot do this… All the words burst out of past stories… Stories I believe, and I start to spiral down the words, like a scary ride that has come to the end and I am lost and alone!
As I sit and cry and reflect, I realize it is my inner child who is running the show. She was told many times that she can not write, she has nothing to say. She talks too much, she says too much, no one wants to listen to her stories, no one wants to hear her! The stories go on and on… Echoes of all the voices from the past are so loud in my mind like thunder crashing deep inside of me as the flashes of memories burst through my mind like a lightning storm in my soul. The tears falling fast from my eyes. The storm is big, bigger than I have ever imagined it could be… Then the next thing I know I am wiping the tears and the deafening thunder stops, the lightning flashes of nightmares 57
T h e S t o r i e s W e Te l l O u r s e l v e s
go away, and I can breathe. What just happened. I went from a scary, dark place to a sunshine filled room in the blink of an eye. I hear the words – “Mom are you ok, mom can I help, Mom…” I look around and realize that it is not me hearing the words, it is me saying the words. Words from past memory. I speak the words to my Mom or perhaps it is my little girl saying them to me and I am remembering a story of a time I was needed.
Wait, did I say “I was needed” … I am needed… We all are! We are all here for a reason. My reason is to tell stories, to write stories, to teach story, to inspire, to motivate, to empower through stories! I have been telling stories, communicating through story, helping others tell themselves a different story for years. I have helped many, out of the kindness, the knowing, the love I have within me! I never saw this becoming my life purpose and certainly never dreamed it would be the thing I would get to do to support myself… I also never in a million years dreamed I would be asked to help Create the Ripple, literally this Magazine! What? wait… write a story, but I am not a writer, I am a speaker, a coach, an empath, a guiding light… What do I know about writing
