Moot Times: December 2016

The Moot Times The University of Calgary Law Student Newspaper | December 2016 Edition

UCalgary Law Christmas Ornaments! Collect them all and hang them up!

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Moot Times The law student newspaper at the University of Calgary.

Gettin’ legal since 2008.

Senior Managing Editor Janna Crown Copy Editor Amy Matychuk Layout Editor Curtis Wolff Treasurer Tim Horon Secretary Megan Visentin

BELOVED AND UNDERRATED HOLIDAY MOVIES

Contributors

Hayley Rushford 2L

Chris Green Hayley Rushford Dana Martin Stuart Mair Jesse Sitting Jenna Pich Chad Haggerty E.M. Stark Nicola Neilsen Contact Email jannacrown@gmail. com with news submissions, story ideas.

Disclaimer The opinions and articles expressed within are not those of the University of Calgary, Faculty of Law. The Moot Times is an independent publication, run by students for students. Don’t even think about suing us. We will hire, like, the best lawyer.

Contributor of the Month Socialist shill Chris Green for being so god damn funny.

Need a holiday study break?

We got you covered. Here’s six movies to watch.

The Holiday In what is possibly Jack Black’s only endearing role apart from Dewey Finn in School of Rock, the Holiday will take you along a cozy journey through charming England and sunny LA to reflect on the year and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead. Vacate your life and follow Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet as they swap homes and lives over the the holidays. The this movie is a treat laced with Jude Law, and a burst of sunshine for the part of your heart that dies a little bit during the winter in Calgary.

Love Actually If you don’t know of this classic filled with almost every famous English actor alive at the time it was made, you may actually live under

a rock. A Christmas favourite, dip into the lives of ever-connected English people and discover that love actually is all around. This flick has got all kinds of romance and comedy and will remind you what truly matters at this time of year and all year round.

White Christmas An oldie but a goodie to watch by the fireside with your parents who are perhaps at least a couple decades older than you are.

Journey back to the days of Bing Crosby and croon along with this festive little holiday musical. Plus, if Christmas doesn’t turn out being white in Calgary, you’re good either way.

Christmas Cranks

With

The

Want to have a mindless giggle? This movie is for you. This is the time of year where family comes together once again. Revel in the dysfunction and hilarity that ensues around the holidays

and have a laugh comparing your family to theirs. This movie even mixes in a little Christmas magic to get you in the holiday spirit.

Miracle on 34th Street Get to know old St Nick on a more personal level in this story of a little girl’s discovery of Christmas magic.

Relive your childhood and delight in the experience of Christmas miracles. This will distract you from your very real exam reality.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas Flutter down into Whoville on a nearby snowflake and let your soul darkened by studying grow a little lighter at the Grinch’s heart grows with you. Warning: girls may become distracted attempting to recreate Cindy Lou Who’s hairdo.

There you go. Six afternoon study breaks already planned out for you. You’re welcome. Happy holidays and happy studying!

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GETTING ARTICLES: TIPS FROM THE OTHER SIDE Dana Martin 4L

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ear friends, Janna asked me to write a piece from the perspective of someone recently called to the bar. I think the most valuable advice I can give you is: start networking. If that makes you want to skip this article, I get it. Networking is surprisingly like internet dating: it can be awkward, disappointing, and embarrassing. But...

This leads me into the WHY of networking: You will learn about the business and practice of law Law school doesn’t teach you about the day-to-day practice of law. Conversations with practicing lawyers does (and working, obviously. One step at a time.) Networking prepares you for interviews: you will be able to say with confidence why you are suited to/interested in the role. Go out there and get some real information about the job you are about to do for the rest of your life.

You will learn to talk to professional people Young lawyers sometimes get intimidated, or try too hard to impress, or don’t know what kinds of questions to ask face to face. Networking will teach you another way of asking “What is the work-life balance like at your firm?” without sounding like you are reading from a list provided to you.

Get out there before the competition does More than a few times,

someone told me “Oh, we just hired someone else who came in.” You need to get your name and resume out before everyone else does. Don’t panic: it’s worth starting anytime. But I still mean, start now.

It will be worth it The job I got is awesome. It is in the field I wanted to work in, the hours are reasonable, and I’m being paid comparable to Big Firms downtown.

Other friends who got hired late this year experienced the same thing. The quality of the job you get is not tied to the timing.

Learn what people need, and seek to offer it This is kinda tricky, but Dale Carnegie says the best way to drum up business is to offer your client something.

Show that you have skills of value to the employer, offer a solution to their problem.

Even subtle flattery, or interest in their life’s work, is a form of offering.

The HOW of networking:

Write a form letter and start inviting people for coffee. Offer to buy, in exchange for their thoughts. You will likely not buy.

Don’t start with partners (well, I wouldn’t, but you do you). But also: don’t fear bothering people. They will ignore you if they have to, or pass you on to a junior. A surprising number are happy to help.

Meet with everyone. Juniors with no decision-making power may not hire you, but they will answer your questions honestly.

Go often. The more you go, the more you will reap its rewards. Schedule once or twice a week meetings. This may be terrible advice academically, but I believe in the value of a strong professional social network. You can probably spare the couple of hours away from your studies.

Make a list of questions about the specific firm and about the practice in general.

Bring it with you. Write down answers. Prepare for every

meeting as though it is your first. Making up questions will get easier as you go.

You must also learn how to represent yourself. Practice interviewing. Seek criticism on your answers, and improve them. If you were a celebrity, you could pay your publicist to help you with this, but since you aren’t, there is always Maryanne.

ALWAYS send a motherfudging thank you note. It doesn’t have to be extensive, but it MUST ask for a referral: “Is there anyone else I should speak to” or “are any of your colleagues looking to hire and would you pass on their information”? Something along those lines will do nicely. This sets up your perpetual motion machine of networking.

Attend CBA Section Meetings and organised networking/social events to keep it fresh. Ask to meet the organizers for coffee to learn more about this fascinating area of law and opportunities in it.

Concluding Note You have nothing to lose by networking. You won’t click with everyone you meet, but welcome to life. At the very least, free coffee. I urge you to get out there, flatter people in cold calls/emails, make connections, pose stupid questions, be honest, be resourceful. Refine your resume and distribute it. You have to ask for what you want but you will get better and better at it as you go along. Godspeed.

Dana Martin was called to the bar in fall of 2016.

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HUMAN RIGHTS CLINICAL NEW THIS YEAR Interested in applying for next year? Megan Visentin shares her experience.

Megan Visentin 3L

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s most students are aware, this term offered the inaugural Human Rights Clinical at the University of Calgary. As with most first time classes, there are always some wrinkles to be ironed out. Overall though, the time I spent in this Clinical was a positive experience. If you are interested in human rights law, I would certainly rec-

ommend applying for a spot next year. Unfortunately I cannot say for sure what next year’s Clinical will entail, but I can discuss some of what I did the past few months.

I met with the Clinical leader once a week downtown at the Human Rights Commission. Several of these ‘class’ days were spent shadowing employees of the Commission to learn more on the complaint process and different departments within the

Commission itself. I was also given the opportunity to watch a Tribunal Dispute Resolution take place; however I was unable to see a Tribunal Hearing, as many that were scheduled settled before the Hearing date. Despite this, I was able to further my knowledge by participating in a mock Tribunal Hearing.

The Clinical does require a final project and this year students had some say in what they would prefer to do. I am

unsure what next year’s project will entail, but students will most likely be able to give their input again.

For those who are interested in this Clinical, I would suggest taking the Human Rights Law class and to volunteer for the Pro Bono Human Rights Project. Most of the knowledge I had prior to taking this course was from the Pro Bono Project, which was an asset to my time in the Clinical.

SLS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE PROMISES WALL Jeff Rizster says, “I am going to build a wall, and make SNAILS pay for it.”

Chris Green 2L

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t seems as though the University of Calgary’s Society of Law Students is not immune to the right wing movement that has been uprising throughout the world. As the SLS election draws closer, presidential candidates are beginning to take populist approaches to their campaigns. Jeff Rizster has pledged that if elected, he will force the U of C Students Union to build a wall between the TFDL and the Bennett Jones Library, addressing concerns that the illegal influx of SNAILS

(Students Not Actually in Law School) is bringing disorder and chaos to the otherwise peaceful Bennett Jones Mezzanine.

“I refuse to allow this madness to occur in our library,” said Jeff, while waiting in line at the new Carl’s Jr. “SNAILS are coming into our library and abusing our table room. It’s one of my favorite places to make Fantasy Trades beside an open Admin textbook.”

After picking up a disturbing amount chipotle dip for his French fries Jeff added: “We are losing those study rooms that have that weird smell to them and it’s no mystery to me where the

missing white board markers have been going. Something must be done” Several law students lined up to support Jeff ’s pledge, insisting that he has the power to “Make Bennett Jones Great Again!”

The movement seems to be picking up momentum.

“I’m becoming a huge supporter of Jeff Rizster,” said famous law school person Jesse Sitting. “Not just for his wall proposal but also his thoughts on separating the Faculty of Law from the University of Calgary entirely,” referring to Jeff ’s push for a “Lawxit”.

Jeff ability to pierce through Jesse’s beautiful blue eyes

and infect his brain with rhetoric has been quoted as “disturbing and depressing” from leftist advocate Nicola Nelson.

Critics of Jeff are quick to point out characteristics that question his ability to lead. This reporter notes his outlandish pop culture t-shirts, fetishization of deep fried foods, historical connections with Alice Woolley and chronic bullying of Mihai as pressing concerns. Amidst recent global trends, there is unfortunately no reason to doubt Jeff ’s potential as a candidate. We will just have to wait until March to find out.

EIGHT FESTIVE EVENTS (OR EXCUSES TO LEAVE THE LIBRARY) Indulge yourself in some yuletide happenings in the Calgary area this December.

Jenna Pich 1L

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f you’re like me, your Christmas (or other holiday) decorations are already up, you’ve done your holiday baking and you’ve watched Elf in your festive Elf shirt while drinking eggnog, twice. Here are some holiday activities for the Cindy Lou Whos and grinches of Murray Fraser Hall.

Zoolights What: This light show at the zoo attracts people all the way from hick Fort Saskatchewan, so you know it has to be good. Go though the “tunnel of love”, visit Santa for free, go skating, view some lights and maybe even see some animals.

Where & When: Calgary Zoo (1300 Zoo Rd. NE) 6:00 -9:00 p.m. December 1 – January 2.

Cost: $14.00 for adults.

Parking $7.00.

Once Upon A Christmas What: Heritage Park gets festive and invites visitors to buy unique gifts, check out the historic holiday decor and visit their petting zoo. Other activities include gingerbread cookie decorating, a showing of a Christmas play, crafts, wagon rides, carolling and more.

Where & When: Heritage Park from 9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Every Saturday

and Sunday until the 19th.

Cost: $10.75 for adults at the door; hit up Jenna for $5.00 tickets.

Airdrie Santa Claus Parade What : I’ve attended 23 of the 24 Santa Claus Parades held in Fort Sask. This year I was forced to miss it and was alarmed to find Calgary has no such parade. Thankfully, our neighbours in Airdrie are having one this weekend so us out-of-town folks can get nostalgic and attend.

Where & When: Airdrie Main Street @ 5:00 p.m. December 3.

Cost: Free.

Heritage Park - movie night with dinner What: Heritage Park is hosting an Elf-themed dinner at the Selkirk Grille Restaurant and then showing the film in the Gasoline Alley Museum. Bring a friend or date to indulge in the four main food groups:

candy, candy cane, candy corn and syrup.

Where & When: Heritage Park. Seatings for dinner from 5:30 – 6:45 p.m. Film at 7:45 p.m. December 6.

Cost: $42.95/person for dinner. $8:00 for the film.

Tickets are purchased separately.

Canadian Pacific Holiday Train What: CP’s annual holiday train route is travelling across Canada and the US to spread some holiday cheer and help communities. The monetary and food donations at each stop go directly to that community’s food bank. Dallas Smith and The Odds will be performing at each Canadian stop.

Where & When: Airdrie @ Nose Creek Park. 5:456:15 p.m. December 9.

Calgary @ Anderson C-Train Station (south parking lot). 7:00-7:45 p.m.

December 10.

Canmore @ backside of Save on Foods. 6:00 – 6:30 p.m. December 12.

Banff @ CP Train Station. 7:15 – 7:45 p.m. December 12.

Cost: Free – but healthy food bank donations are accepted.

Kensington Christmas Event What: Shop Kensington in all of its festive glory.

Each day will feature a free Christmas movie showing

at 3:30 p.m at the Plaza Theatre.

Where & When: 1133 Kensington Road NW. 12:00 – 4:00 p.m.

December 3: Veterans Day; Candy Cane Prize Tree. “Miracle on 34th Street” screening.

December 10: Family Day, petting zoo; free Starbucks hot chocolate & coffee; “Elf ” screening.

December 17: Fashion photographers; “The Holiday” screening December 24: horse and wagon rides; “Home Alone” screening.

Cost: Free Santa Claus @ PetSmart What: You can bring your pet and get a free photo of them with Santa. I’ll be there with my pet, Snailsbert, on Saturday.

Where & When: All Calgary PetSmart locations.

12:00 – 4:00 p.m. December 10 and 11.

Cost: Free!

Toonie Day at Norquay What: For 2 bucks you can get in a half day of skiing or boarding after the 404 Property or 599 Project Management exam. Those in 527 Basic Tax are SOL until the new year when Norquay hosts toonie days one Wednesday a month until the season is done.

When & Where: Norquay from 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. December 14.

Cost: $2.00.

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SWEET DECISION FOR LAW STUDENTS Calgary Curriculum is expanding its reach with some interesting new hires.

Stuart Mair 1L

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he University Of Calgary Faculty Of Law has announced it has decided to allocate a sizeable amount of funds in order to hire a team of apiarists. The decision comes as quite a shock amidst a struggling Albertan economy, and at a time when The Gauntlet is reporting that UCalgary currently has $500,000,000 in deferred maintenance costs on the books.

When questioned about the decision, a faculty member stated, “We knew this problem needed to be addressed sooner or later, and with more students coming here for a legal education it is crucial we finally seek professional

help”. When prodded as to if this was the best possible option, the faculty member countered that there is a movement towards hiring more in-house counsel and as a law school they should try and mirror these hiring trends.

The timing of this announcement could be seen as suspicious to many. With

students preparing for exams there may not be as many student led inquiries or backlash from students who are already extremely stressed out. However, it is my opinion that this timing is actually very good and is not malicious at all. For anyone who knows anything about what apiarists do, also knows that they

may be needed right after exam marks come back.

For those of you who do not know what apiarists do, they are otherwise known as a beekeeper. And as all of us 1L’s have been told, we have a bunch of “B’s” flying our way. Get it?

Sorry. I’ll get back to shaking down upper years for frameworks now.

ACTUAL SERIOUS CLASSIFIED! A CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS Are you interested in what happens during a civil trial?

Watch too much law TV and instead ready to have your own acting debut?

Have you always felt you would one day end up as a witness in a high profile case?

Would you like to help out your fellow law students?

Third years are currently looking for volunteers to be a witness during their January Block Week trials. The time commitment will be minimal, however you might have to give up a few hours of a Saturday. All of the trials will occur at the end of block week at the Calgary Courts Centre downtown. Since the Court doesn’t hear matters on the weekend, it will be like your own private tour!

Also it is a good way to start getting comfortable in a court room.

IF INTERESTED, TALK TO YOUR FAVOURITE 3L — THEY NEED YOU!

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TIPS FOR DECORATING THE HOLE YOU’VE DUG FOR YOURSELF Jesse and Curtis 2L

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aw school is an exciting time. It’s an opportunity to stretch your boundaries and explore new spaces. One of the most familiar spaces that law students find themselves in is that massive hole you’ve spent all of September, October, and most of November digging. This hole is mostly an academic space, excavated by your own failure to keep on top of crucial tasks and general intellectual ineptitude. But it can also be filled with personal failures and other deep-seeded issues.

You’re going to spend a lot of time in this hole. We’ve assembled our best construction and interior decorating related tips to ensure that this enormous hole you’ve dug for yourself is expertly designed and beautifully decorated, so that your time spent in it can be as comfortable as possible.

Tip 1: Ensure you have an effective septic system.

Life in general (and your professors in particular) will continue to pile massive amounts of shit on you, so be prepared. And you’re likely already wallowing in about two feet of self-pity and despair, so there’s no point in cheaping out on a septic system.

Tip 2: Install an industrial grade pump You may have noticed in September that your feet were getting a little wet as you reclined in your newly forming subterranean hovel. You probably paid little attention

to the moisture as you reclined back, watched Narcos season 2, and ignored all your readings and other responsibilities. Now, you’re probably cursing your former self and barely managing to keep your head above water. This is why we recommend you install a sump pump early on in your studies. Although, you will probably still feel like you’re drowning for all of November and most of December.

Who knew law school and waterboarding had so much in common?

Tip 3: Buy a comfortable mattress A good mattress can be hard to find on a student budget, but it’s well worth the investment. You are going to need to find a mattress that provides the arch-support to ensure that your back — which is cracking under the pressure of a 6,500 word commercial law theory essay — stays well rested during the 4.5 hours you can afford to spend sleeping. If you have a mattress in this hole of despair you’ve dug with your bare hands and over-indulgence in early semester partying, you might even be able to get your romantic partner to occasionally visit your dark hole before they realize that dating a law student was

a terrible mistake.

Tip 4: Have a well lit and easily identifiable entrance The Domino’s delivery guy is going to need to find the entrance to your pit of suffering probably about 6 to 7 times a week, and Domino’s seems to have a policy against hiring competent people, so you should make it as easy as possible for them. Otherwise you might starve.

Tip 5: Avoid pets and plants Some people think having some companionship in the form of plants or animals will help liven up the grave they call their home, but those people are stupid idiots. You will inevitably become exceedingly jealous of your companion’s lack of sentience or awareness. This will result in a deep-seated hatred of whatever flora or fauna you decide to drag into your wretched lair. Not fun!

Tip 6: Remove all reminders of the pleasant life you lived before law school Those pictures of those friends you used to have time for? Throw them out.

The musical instruments you used to play? Trash ‘em. The books you used to read for fun? Burn them in a trash can to reduce your heating

bill and minimize the massive amount of debt you’re racking up. You don’t want to be surrounded by tokens of the unique and well-balanced individual you used to be. This just makes the reality that you’ve become a self-involved and uninteresting “person” living in a hole more stark. We recommend barren walls to match your newly acquired personality.

Maybe frame and hang your law school transcript - which is covered exclusively in “B”s - to remind you what giving up your life got you.

Tip 7: Check out the “Hole of Suffering” section at IKEA This one is a huge pro-tip!

Many IKEA shoppers completely miss the Hole of Suffering section of their store.

Go to the lady serving meatballs and tell her in Swedish, “Jag vill komma in i hålet av lidande,” which according to Google Translate means “I want to get into the hole of suffering.” She will nod silently and beckon you to the secret elevator. Together you will descend into the darkness. In the basement they will have a special section for your law hole. Rest assured, your law hole will be ALMOST as well decorated as the law library workrooms!

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LAW SCHOOL POEMS

read, read, framework, CAN nap, eat, nap, eat, nap, eat, nap furiously type

Janna Crown

Write a dumb haiku Or study for our exams?

Here’s a dumb haiku.

Chad Haggerty

Sitting, staring, paralyzed with fear Trying to make sense Of this mundane legal sphere.

Trying so hard, to just give a fuck Wondering why I can’t just whim it on luck.

Too many dex and cigarettes to boot, I’m wondering why I signed up for this moot.

My skin’s gone quite gray, My hair no longer clean All eyes that I see Glazed over with sheen.

Roses are red Violets are blue I’m going to get a D in Tax Curtis Wolff

Law School Headlines

You’re so close they all say!

It will all be done in a flash but the work I must do gives a nice anxious rash.

Here are the pressing news stories that didn’t quite make it into this month’s issue: Chris Green takes out earrings and gets hired at Bennett Jones — it’s that easy

Dreaming of wine, and laughing aloud With rogues in the pubs, friendly faces in the crowd.

Nicola dislikes sweater logo, promptly expelled Shale gives up 2L job for summer internship with the Alberta NDP

They’re but a distant memory That has now faded away – I warn my old self, Stay far, far away.

After putting out their cigarettes, Morgan, Nicole, Marika and Jocelyn realize they actually have nothing in common

But law school’s fun!

You grow witty and clever, Said absolutely no one, No one, not ever.

Daf nervous for his date on Friday night, unsure of her intentions New layout of student lounge found the be more inclusive and reduce “bro culture”

E.M. Stark

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Soon we start our tests.

No idea how we will do.

Alcohol is god.

Aly throws girlfriend a surprise 18th birthday party at the Cactus Club

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