Moot Times: February 2017

The Moot Times The University of Calgary Law Student Newspaper | February 2017 Edition

#Research4Refugees: Canadian Law Students Unite to Protect Asylum Seekers Kelly Twa 1L

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n Saturday February 4th, law students from each of Canada’s 22 law schools came together to conduct legal research and draft memos in response to President Trump’s executive order restricting travel from seven Muslim countries, suspending all refugee admission for 120 days, and barring Syrian refugees indefinitely.

Under the Canada-US Safe Third Country Agreement, individuals seeking

asylum must make a claim in the first country in which they arrive. This agreement means that Canada must refuse any applicants who originally arrived in the US, based on the assertion that the US is a “safe third country.” The purpose of the “research-a-thon” was to support the Canadian Council for Refugees (CCR) in their legal challenge to the legitimacy of this agreement.

Previously, in 2007, the CCR brought an application to the Federal Court which argued that pursuant to administrative law principles, the

Charter, and certain unmet standards set by the United Nations Refugee Convention and the Convention Against Torture, the US should not be considered a safe third country. Although the Federal Court ruled in their favor, the Federal Court of Appeal overturned the decision. Students and professors united across the country on Saturday to compile new data to support another legal challenge, in recognition that the US has become significantly more unwelcoming towards asylum seekers under the new

presidency.

First year students Shannon Faleiro and Cesar Agudelo and second year student Katherine Moore jumped on board with this initiative, which originated at McGill University, only three days before the event was to take place. “I expected that five people might be interested and even with five, I was willing to go ahead with it,” said Faleiro. To his surprise, 30 students registered in the first day and by Saturday over 50 students from all three years were taking part in the research event.

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Moot Times The law student newspaper at the University of Calgary.

Gettin’ legal since 2008.

Senior Managing Editor Janna Crown Copy Editor Amy Matychuk Layout Editor Curtis Wolff Treasurer Tim Horon Secretary Megan Visentin Contributors Chris Green Hayley Rushford Stuart Mair Kelly Twa Adrian Shellard Contact Email jannacrown@gmail. com with news submissions, story ideas.

Disclaimer The opinions and articles expressed within are not those of the University of Calgary, Faculty of Law. The Moot Times is an independent publication, run by students for students. Don’t even think about suing us. We will hire, like, the best lawyer.

Contributor of the Month All da sekret admirers.

Hey who wants to do my job next year. All you have to do is drink wine until 4 a.m. once a month while you put this damn newspaper together. Hit me up if u want to be super famous.

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#RESEARCH4REFUGEES, CONT FROM COVER Both Faleiro and Agudelo come from immigrant families and recognize the importance of protecting refugees.

Faleiro commented, “As immigrants, my parents were very fortunate to come to Canada and send me to law school. Not everyone is born into that same situation, but Canada is full of opportunities that we need to share with others.” Agudelo has been working for a long time helping immigrants settle in Canada: “I know the value that they bring to Canadian society and that value cannot be lost in the face of unfounded fears. Our hope is to open the door to people who risk being sent back to their country of origin and risk persecution.”

The students were not alone in their research efforts on Saturday. Professors Michael Nesbitt, Lisa Silver, and Jennifer Koshan also attended to help guide the students through dense Canadian and American immigration legislation and case law. The event attracted local coverage from CBC, CTV, Global, and Metro News. The event also served as a fundraiser for the Canadian Council for Refugees and any litigation they may undertake on the issue.

This event marks the first time that Canadian law students have coordinated an effort of this magnitude.

At the end of the day, over 700 students took part in

the 12-hour research-athon and over $7 000 was raised. The student lounge was buzzing with an energy foreign to a typical Saturday on campus. Some students dropped in for three hours, and others ended up staying for the entire day. Faleiro, Agudelo, and Moore want to thank LexisNexis and the Faculty for their support, as well as everyone who took part. “It was really unexpected and exciting to see this many students interested in supporting this issue,” said Moore. “It’s fantastic to see the energy of the law students come together in one room.”

For more information on the event see: www.research4refugees.com

Our Valentine’s Day edition of the Moot Times is scattered with anonymous poems and confessions of love! Read on to see if you have a secret admirer.

roses are red, violets are blue 2Ls, why do you post on FB about how little work you do

Amanda Roses are red, violets are blue, why’d you drop internet law you dumb dumb I wanted to sit next to you

MY GLIMPSE INTO THE LIFE OF A SOLE PRACTITIONER Sometimes you gotta strike it out on your own, and it can be very rewarding.

Hayley Rushford 2L

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e’ve all heard it at one point or another, whether from a professor, a parent, or a professional mentor. They’ll tell you: “there is somewhere for everyone”. They might mention that certain personalities are suited to the big firm life, and some are better off as sole practitioners. Some people will fall somewhere in between, and at the end of the day, everyone will end up somewhere.

I’ve never been sure if being a sole practitioner is for me, and always pictured myself in a firm, although unsure of what size. However, I had the opportunity to work with a sole practitioner this past summer, and for anyone potentially considering this career path, or even for those who are remotely interested in the prospect of starting their own practice somewhere down the line, this may be worth the quick read.

I’ll start with the bad news.

Being a sole practitioner seems like a tough go when you’re establishing yourself.

You don’t have the benefit of having a recognizable firm name to carry your reputation or the same kind of access to clients. If you are considering being a sole practitioner, two things seem absolutely vital: (1) you must be great at networking, (2) you must be fantastic at what you do, if not somewhat of an expert. The first because you will have to build your client portfolio and constantly be working to expand it. Once you do work for one client, it’s possible there could be conflicts representing other clients. Consequently, sole practitioners are always working on their business development. The second factor is crucial because if you’re not amazing at what you do, you are replaceable.

You need to be highly regarded enough in your field that potential clients will be attracted to your services rather than going through a firm.

The other downfalls of being a sole practitioner are

purely economic. When you are hired for a client, you are basically working on contract.

This means that your workflow may not always be steady or reliable, and therefore, neither will your income necessarily. As you are working for yourself, other administrative duties that would be handled by the firm become your responsibility. Essentially, your practice lives and dies with the amount of effort and time you are willing to commit to it.

Now for the good news.

First off, you can structure your practice in any way that you want. If you are interested in several divergent areas of law, it may not be practical, but it is possible to build a practice that features all of them. If not, it is at least a great opportunity to build a practice on your own terms.

Because you can also choose your clients, you will have much more control over your career progression and creating your niche of expertise.

There can be something very satisfying in building a name

for yourself from scratch.

As well, similar to what drives the entrepreneurial community, you are your own boss. This means you set your salary, your hours, and your office. If you’re looking for the ultimate flexibility in the legal world, this is probably it. If you’re someone who embraces a challenge, being a sole practitioner will cater to setting lofty goals. You will have the chance to build a name for yourself, a legal practice, and a life without a rulebook that a firm or a courthouse might hold you to.

Like anything, there are huge pros and cons to being a sole practitioner. My experience working with one was very positive, and it was made clear that there is a level of experience required to reach success. If freedom is what you need to be a happy, high-functioning lawyer, definitely consider it. But, if you’re someone who thrives on stability, predictability and structure, this path might not be for you.

Hello, fine ladies. You’re probably wondering who the devastatingly handsome turtle who lives in the fabulously appointed, and tantalisingly private tank in the front entrance of the Vietnamese restaurant called A Taste of Ginger, located in Kensington (which, as I’m sure you’re aware, is a prime real estate area). Wonder no more, for my name is Tiberius, and luckily for you, I’m on the prowl for a companion to share both my beautiful home, and my impressive supply of fish flakes.

Perhaps you’d like to know a little more about myself. Aside from obviously being filthy rich, I enjoy the finer things in life: watching people eat spring rolls in the restaurant, while I smugly think of how I would never have to dine on such plebeian food, gazing contentedly around my voluminous tank, which could easily house many turtles but is mine and mine alone, and designing the diamond encrusted shell cover which I will gift to the worthy lady who I will pick to be my consort from the hundreds, nay thousands, of eligible women who will surely respond to my advertisement.

And what, I’m sure you’re asking, rustles the jimmies of a highly discerning bachelor such as myself? I’m looking for a delectable woman who is interested in long, painfully slow walks on the beach, being dazzled by my utterly stunning shell, and mercilessly abandoning any children of our union to be devoured by birds while they desperately try to scramble from land to the water immediately after hatching. If this sounds like you, I invite you to come visit A Taste of Ginger and introduce yourself, and don’t be shy: turtle is not on the restaurant’s menu, but it is on mine, if you get my meaning!

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Shall I compare thee to a glass of cool cider?

Thou art more refreshing and more tantalizing.

Who knew law school would be our collider?

One look in the eye and you’re immobilizing.

Your hair is as golden as freshly minted coins, Emma Morgan: the love of my life and the fire in my loins.

- B.T.

Tim, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

Unlawfully yours, Your secret admirer.

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WHY 1L RECRUIT IS NOT THAT BIG A DEAL It’s a stressful time, but your career doesn’t hang in the balance Friday at 5:00 p.m.

Amy Matychuk 2L

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earest 1Ls, Around this time last year, I started to understand why 2Ls and 3Ls are such downers about law school (you don’t have to be polite and assure us we’re not—it’s true). We say lovely, encouraging things to you like “get ready for terrible grades,” “you will never be able to do well at everything so don’t try,” and “it’s all about who you know anyway.” My personal favorite, some advice I received before 1L recruit, was, “20 people get 1L law firm jobs, and 18 of those people already have them.”

I wouldn’t blame you if you decided to spend reading week in a rooftop hot tub with this XL wine glass that holds a full bottle at one time (you may also be starting to understand why many of us drink so much).

Seriously.

I wouldn’t.

You’ve probably already slumped over your laptop a few times, bleary-eyed from changing the concluding salutation of your generic cover letter (no one cares whether you use “Sincerely” or “Regards”).

You probably already know all of the synonyms for words like “experience” and “skills.” You’ve probably already wondered silently if driving a stick shift goes on your resume?

Babysitting your cousin’s

micropig? Dancing like nobody’s watching? (Why do they make us have an Interests section, to torture us?)

So here’s my recommendation: Don’t do it. Skip it.

There’s an entire world you could explore with that week of your life, and you seriously want to spend it in a bunch of downtown Calgary boardrooms unsuccessfully trying to convince lawyers that you’re deeply passionate about contract law? If it’s interview experience you want, show up at my house—I’ll put on pantyhose and pretend to be interested in your high school debate team experience for half an hour, and then you can get right to that rooftop hot tub.

I know you’re all a bunch of overachievers who are silently terrified of being unhappy and unemployed forever, and you probably won’t follow that advice.

(Also, if you’re reading this, the application date has passed, and it’s too late for you now either way.) I guess if you must, here are some tips.

Do whatever you can to avoid taking yourself seriously. Take a selfie every time you get into an elevator (points if there are other random strangers in it). If a lawyer asks you what kind of law you want to practice, solemnly answer, “the common law.” Wear earrings that don’t match and see if anyone notices.

Celebrate your friends’ accomplishments.

Share tips and inside info. Don’t hold your cards close to your chest. Remember that success isn’t a pie, and someone else’s good fortune isn’t your loss. Buy your friends a beer if they do well, and buy them two if they get down on themselves. One unfortunate result of being

graded on a curve is that we can all let ourselves get a little too competitive. Remember that these are your colleagues in years to come, and that they are your best resources. Their success is your success.

There will come a time, probably on a Friday afternoon at 5, when it seems like the rest of your professional life depends on whether or not you get a phone call. It doesn’t. Regardless of what your long-term hopes and dreams are, this summer makes or breaks none of them. The opinions of a bunch of people who talked to you for half an hour don’t really matter that much, and there will be other opportunities to walk around downtown wearing uncomfortable business formalwear and getting your heels stuck in sidewalk grates (I promise).

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SCA

SHOCKING: WIKILEAKS ATTACKS UNIVER Chris Green Investigative Journalist

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isgusted and angered by the increasing opaqueness of the University of Calgary Faculty of Law, Julian Assange has declared war on the U of C. By hacking various emails, telephone calls and bank accounts of U of C students, Assange has exposed some disturbing, disappointing and outright shameful truths about the once thought-tobe-innocent students of the University of Calgary Faculty of Law. The leaks begin with a shocking threat against student democracy. It is alleged that Russian hackers may have had an involvement with the 1L elections. There was original suspicion that the voting counts had been tampered with when Bassam Saifeddine won the 1L rep election by 1,000,891 votes.

When asked about the issue, Angela Gallo-Dewar reported that she was “shocked but not surprised” that the election results had been skewed. When asked about

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the interference, Bassam proceed to tilt his head to left and salivate to the point of drooling. It is the opinion of this reporter that he was in his REM sleep despite being in Torts class.

Corruption also seems to be present within the student body. Messages retrieved from Kayla Dhaliwal’s email have made supporters reevaluate whether she’s the innocent Harry Potter fan she makes herself out to be. The emails reveal that Dhaliwal was allocating locker spots in exchange for large sums of Starbucks gift cards. This correlates with reports in October that Emily Dvorak was awarded the large locker at the front and Dhaliwal

was drinking an abnormal amount of Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

It also turns out the Environmental Law Society president Ingrid Braul might not as eco friendly as her mandate makes her out to be. Often displaying herself as “a friend of the earth” by driving a hybrid car and only drinking naturally sourced milk (with no added hormones), her recent credit card purchases have been questionable. Receipts retrieved from Braul’s banking information include purchases such as the down payment on a Ford F-350, a 700 horsepower leaf-blower that runs on diesel and around 50 TacoTime super beef burri-

tos throughout the month.

It is without a doubt that supporters of the ELS will be shocked to find their president is so reckless about her own carbon footprint.

Rec-league Basketball enthusiasts will be distraught to hear that Div C legend Noah Burshtein was providing performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) for his team in order to obtain their current championship. Reports even go as far to say he was coercing his teammates into doing them. Transcripts retrieved from the basketball group chat show Ian Mingo stating “Man I don’t want to take intravenous drugs, it’s just rec basketball” with a response from Burshtein

ANDAL

RSITY OF CALGARY FACULTY OF LAW

stating “there’s no such thing as ‘rec’ basketball.” Burshtein has currently retained 50 lawyers from various Bay Street firms and refuses to talk with the press.

In less shocking news, ex 1L rep Jeff Reimer has been subject to scandal. It turns out that during his tenure as 1L rep, Reimer was coding fake events into the law school system in order to gain a larger pizza budget.

Events such as “Take your Pet to Property Law,” “Handshaking Panel for Nervous Men,” “PBSC’s Fireside Chat with Young Thug,” “LAWlapalooza,” and “Finals ‘Stress Less’ Xanax Lunch” were put in the system but never existed. What is more

concerning to the Faculty is that the pizza was still ordered for these events but sent to a different address.

Reimer’s whereabouts are currently unknown, along with the whereabouts of the unclaimed pizzas. It was also discovered that the teenage pizza delivery kid was receiving cases of Boxer Beer, illegally torrented Rick and Morty seasons, and a vat of Proactiv acnes wash for his silence.

Famous U of C writer “CANdrea” Maclean is also under fire for possibly plagiarizing one of her most famous works. Her near-1000page epic, titled Andrea’s CANs, might have actually been the work of another

source. Video cameras recorded Andrea ascending to the very top floor of Banker’s Hall. The footage then shows her speaking with 6 hooded elders, who handed her a golden USB stick in exchange for three drops of her blood and a rose picked during a full moon.

Finally, the biggest shock might be about SLS President Mark Shearer. While thought to be a normal human representing the student body at the University Faculty of Law, connected dots suggest that he might actually be a member of a secret group of reptilian aliens running the world. Footage leaked shows Shearer morphing into a reptile looking

creature before entering a black room. A number of high profile individuals had also been cc’ed to Shearer’s emails before the meeting including Angela Merkel, Charles Koch, Michael Jordan and Jay-Z. Historian and public intellectual Giorgio A. Tsoukalos notes that “Schearer” can be rearranged to “Searcher”; the word that the ancient Mayans used to describe the chosen explorer of intergalactic worlds.

It is unclear what these leaks will mean for the University of Calgary in the long run. Experts have predicted that this is going to definitely affect finding articles for those involved.

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SLEEP REM-EDIES Stuart Mair Bachelor Fanatic

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s students, we have a lot a lot of things going on in our lives, and sometimes we sacrifice our beauty sleep to keep up with our demanding schedules. While most doctors and moms recommend getting eight hours of sleep every night, there are alternative sleep cycles which allow you to spend less time asleep and more time getting work done. Perhaps as law students we should suspend our usual sleep cycles and consider adopting an alternative cycle to accommodate our heavy work loads. Below, there is a short list of sleep cycles, some of which may allow you to spend less time as a slave to your pillow-top overlord.

Monophasic Cycle The monophasic cycle is the regular sleep cycle. It consists of 7-9 hours of sleep every night, and one waking period of 15-17 hours.

I follow this sleep schedule and have a hard time finding enough hours in a day

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to come to school, read, lie about making CANs, and still watch The Bachelor.

Therefore, I would say this sleep cycle is incompatible with being a law student.

Biphasic/Siesta Cycle The biphasic cycle consists of sleeping for 4-5 hours at night, and then also taking a 90-minute nap in the afternoon. Overall this will reduce the amount of time you spend asleep each day, but it also requires you to find somewhere to sleep for 90 minutes after lunch. Perhaps you could set up a futon in the back of your or your friend’s car? Additionally, unless you are very lucky with your class schedule, this cycle is also likely incompatible with being a law student because you may not have a 90-minute break in the middle of your day.

Everyman Cycle This cycle consists of a 3.5 hour “core” sleep with three 20-minute naps throughout the day. This schedule is great because it only takes up 4.5 hours of your day, which is half of what some monophasic sleepers waste in their beds. With the extra 3-4 hours, you could learn a new language, catch up on readings, or watch behind the scenes footage of The Bachelor on ABC.com.

Uberman Cycle The Uberman Cycle is comprised of taking a 20 to 30-minute nap every four hours. This cycle can allow you to sleep a mere two hours each day! Heck, I bet with all that extra time you could learn how to install a chrome extension that allows you to use a VPN and appear as an American IP address to ABC.com. Then you could watch a clip of Taylor and Corinne fighting over Nick from week-five rather than be locked out of ABC.com simply for being Canadian.

As discussed above there are several advantages of

using an alternative sleep cycle. However, you may need to occasionally take an inconvenient nap in the afternoon, or you may find yourself hooked to an embarrassing TV show because there is nothing good on at 4 AM and it is all your roommate has recorded on the PVR. These are small prices to pay overall, because with an alternative sleep schedule you will be exposed to things that you would have never given a chance, if you weren’t otherwise struggling to fill 22 hours of consciousness each day.

Tim,

I’d love to steal your attention, but I’m afraid you’d arrest me for it.

Unlawfully yours, Your secret admirer

Ian Wylie is the cutest, smartest, kindest, and most gentlemanly guy in class and anyone would be lucky to have his regard.

My heart was instantly jam-packed, that day I first saw you in contracts My heart grew another size too large, When you started talking about the barge.

So awkward and sweater vests to boot, Oh, you are so damn cute Thinking about 1L, the way we were How you taught us all about Hong Kong fir Dont deprive me of substantially the whole benefit, In the front of your class I will sit, You and me together, can’t you see that is the perfect remedy

Do you think outside the box?

At Norton Rose Fulbright, we look beyond the present with a focus on the future. A future with international scope, global clients and limitless possibilities. A future that demands vision, excellence and innovation.

Help build the future, join our team.

Law around the world nortonrosefulbright.com

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VALENTINE’S SPECIAL Curtis Wolff 2L

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here are a lot of people at this school with fantastic life experiences, and with those life experiences comes a wealth of knowledge from whichwe can draw.

This Valentine’s Day, I tracked down one of the most notorious lovers in Murray Fraser Hall and got him to answer a few questions from our readers while the microphone rolled. I have printed the resulting transcript with as little censorship as possible. Enjoy.

Dear Mihai, The AHS has recently reported that syphilis and gonorrhea have reached outbreak levels in Alberta due to social media such as tinder.

What are the measures you take to protect yourself and what would you recommend for the cautious lover?

Sincerely, Thirsty But Vigilant.

First, we’re going to keep my measures out of it and keep this on a professional, anonymous level. On the cautious level, I would say for gonorrhea and syphilis, pulling out is always the best option. If you pull out, the chances of you getting an STI decrease by 94%. Also, if you want to do the Chris Green approach, try [REDACTED].

Dear Mihai,

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What are your top 5 never fail conversation starters on tinder? I need to strike fast to lure them in.

Sincerely, One Shot Wonder Alright One Shot Wonder!

Top five conversation starters. One: what is your opinion on Trump? Two: what is your opinion on the oil sands of Alberta? And three: what is your favourite colour?

Those conversation starters never fail.

Dear Mihai, I met this girl at a concert and we had a moment, i really like this girl but i dont want to give up my thursden lifestyle, what do i do Sincerely, Asking for Aly Dear Asking for Aly, I

would say that you can continue your Thursden lifestyle until you’ve had the conversation about locking it down.

Just don’t schedule any dates for Thursday night or Friday morning.

Dear Mihai, I am a good looking guy who is pretty interesting. I do cool stuff but am not getting any matches. How do I boost my profile to get more likes?

Sincerely, Matchless Dave Dear Matchless Dave… my first tip… you know, I’ve had the same problem as Matchless Dave. First, I would just say find a friend, possibly a bearded one with a bit of a potbelly, help you out with that. That friend with the beard and the potbelly?

He slays on Tinder. Second-

ly, don’t have any pictures of you looking away from the camera. Don’t have any pictures of you with multiple women. Or multiple guys.

That’ll confuse you matches. The hoverhand. Avoid the hoverhand! And you know, not to close up. Avoid unflaterring pictures of your [REDACTED] or ugly facial hair. And you know, not too many shirtless pics unless they are from afar. And pictures of you travelling are great!

Dear Mihai, I have noticed that many girls on tinder list minimum height requirements for their matches. However, based on your recent success in the Tinder game, it appears you have proven to be the exception to this rule, and a hero

COLUMN: ASK MIHAI to men like me. Any tips for broaching the topic of my height with women who seem hellbent on finding an NBA player?

Dazed and Tom Cruised Dear Short and Confused, don’t worry! Don’t worry whatsoever. As a man of shorter stature, your game can succeed well if you just go to the gym and pump those little muscles. Or, you know what? Just tell them you’re willing to climb a tree. That always gets [REDACTED].

And worst case scenario, reflect back on your charm.

Dear Mihai, In an information age filled with infinite distractions and rampant ADHD, keeping a woman hooked is an essential skill for single men. As the inventor of the highly successful “Beschea Barrage” strategy for communicating with women, what should I do after the usual 6-7 texts go unanswered but she is clearly still interested in me?

Sincerely, The Little Engine That Could

ested in you.

Three texts! Three texts!

Some people say a hard two, but you got to give them the benefit of the doubt and go for the third one, okay?

Dear Mihai, From you experience, what attributes can I give to my fictional girlfriend that my parents will find most believable?

A) I hate whoever wrote this question, and B) you know what? Just telling your parents that she exists should be enough to satisfy them at this point. Don’t worry.

Leave the rest blank. Surprise them. And make sure you tell them she’s not [REDACTED]. And that she has a career.

Dear Mihai, I have a crush on a girl.

How many Instagram photos do I have to like before I can introduce her to my family?

This is a sensitive topic!

Six or seven unanswered texts. You know. I’m speechless. I’m going to pass on this one. This one hits a little too close to home.

That’s a tough question.

The columnist Mihai does not use Instagram. Limited comments available! But if it’s anything like Facebook, I would say like four and then you can introduce them, that’s great! Make sure you’re friends on Facebook with them first before you like the photos.

Follow up question: After how many unanswered texts are they probably not inter-

Dear Mihai, I am a nice, good looking, hard working law stu-

dent. There is almost nothing wrong with me on the surface. Nonetheless I have become a constant target for bullying amongst my friend group. My new girlfriend wants to meet my buddies, but I don’t want her to know that I’m the butt end of every joke. How would you suggest getting her to the alter without meeting anyone from my social circle?

Don’t introduce any of your social circle! Remove your social circle. Cull it!

Cull it back. Don’t invite any of them to your wedding.

Unfriend them on Facebook like you have with the editor of this paper, and you know what? Rely on Jesse Baker.

He’s always a good friend.

Dear Mihai, How do I overcome my crushing anxiety and intimacy issues and have a happy life?

I’m going to split this up in two. Crushing anxiety. The only way to overcome that is to step forward and [REDACTED]. Go hard, okay?

Intimacy issues. They’ve invented great pills for that. Cial-is. Start by taking a half and build your way up to a full dosage. Good luck.

Dear Mihai, I’ve been told recently that I should not date anyone rated less than my GPA on the 10 scale, but I find myself constantly seeing 2s. How do

I change this?

Dear Footballer 4.33, I would suggest spending less time in the library, less time in sweat clothes and more time on Tinder. Increase the age range. Do not look for only 18 year olds. 24+ is a good age group for you. And have no fear, [REDACTED].

Cialis!

Dear Mihai, I need urgent assistance.

I am on a Tinder date right now. I took a Car2Go to her place, well out of the sacred Car2Go zone, expecting a quick ground and pound. We are now half-way through The Fellowship of the Ring and she is intent on watching the entire trilogy. Given that time is of the essence, which scene from Lord of the Rings should I use to make my move?

Sincerely, the Hobbit on Wheels This question is highly inappropriate first of all. Second, don’t worry about the Car2Go zone. You now have a student loan, you’ll do just fine. Third, the scene where they’re in the Mines of Moria. That’s a great scene to transition. Before the goblins come out though. When Gandalf is looking for the right path, and he sniffs fresh air. That’s when you should sniffing for the right transition. Put your arm around her, [REDACTED] and you’re good to go.

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MAGICAL EVENING AT LITERARY MOOT The event raised over $7,000 for the John Howard Society. All photos by Adrian Shellard.

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