Delighted Soul - 2019 - February & March

FEB & Mar 2019

DELIGHTED SOUL SISTERHOOD INTENTIONALITY COMMUNITY

Letter from the Editor

Sister, sister. When I reflect on my life, I naturally categorize different seasons based on my circle of friends – from my childhood best friend to the girls I slumber partied with, my different groups of church sisters, high school friends, college crew, sorority sisters, and my sister-in-law. I always thought that I only grew up with boys – my brother, his friends, cousins, neighbors – but when I stop to think about it, my girls were with me all along. Maybe it was just the frequent number of shifts in girl world, or the sometimes unhealthy endings that blurred my memory. In fact, one of the biggest reasons I pursued membership in my sorority was to learn how to maintain longer and deeper relationships with other women.

Why was that so important to me? Because sisterhood matters. We’re not meant to do life alone, and there are so many ways that a sister can encourage you in ways that a parent or brother can’t. There’s nothing better than the feeling of walking beside someone who understands the way you feel without an explanation, which is crucial to me because explaining my emotions is not my strong suit. This issue is about sisterhood – being intentional, developing community, and demonstrating love for one another. Hopefully when you finish this issue you’ll be blowing up the group chat planning the next Ladies’ Night or weekend brunch!

Jasmine Powell

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Table of Contents

4 6 7 8 10 11

Tender Love & Self Care

IDEAS BY KRYSTAL HAWKINS

Let’s Talk Intentionality LESSONS FROM KATORA THOMAS

#CommunityGoals ADVICE FROM CHLOE AIRHART

Michelle’s Jewels

WISDOM FROM MICHELLE POWELL

Go Sis, Go!

AYSHA WELCH’S JOURNEY

Break It Down UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT COMMUNITY

A magazine for young women in pursuit of deeper relationships with Jesus.

Tender Love & Self Care Ideas from Krystal Hawkins of @joyeandreign February is a month full of love and appreciation for those that we hold dear. But how often do we forget to take time to care for ourselves? A helpful tip: spend some quality time alone and explore the different ways you can cater to yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.

Relieving Stress & Energy Looking for a way to relieve stress? Make an appointment for that body massage you’ve been delaying. Need some mental space and could use an energy boost? Head out to a nearby hiking or walking trail and look good while doing it.

Relaxing the Mind & the Nails

If you prefer a night at home to lounge around, clear your agenda and relax while watching a new Netflix show over the weekend. And if you’re anything like me, make an appointment for a new winter nail color during your next mani pedi visit.

(Check out these styles for inspiration).

No matter what you choose, set a plan and make yourself a priority. As we continue to move forward in 2019, it is important that we uplift those around us. However, let’s also be sure to give ourselves tender love and self care.

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Bonus: DIY Chamomile Bath Oil Looking to get into the next DIY project? Try making this DIY Chamomile Bath Oil for yourself. Thanks to our friends at 21 Ninety, this self care combination is something you don’t want to pass up. ●- 3/4 cup almond oil ●- 1/4 cup coconut oil (room temp.) ●- 10-20 drops of Essential oils ●- 1 cup dried chamomile flowers or 20 drops of chamomile essential oil ●- Glass mason jar for the chamomile oil ●- 8-ounce glass bottle with lid for storage 1. First, soak the chamomile oil. To save time, combine your chamomile and almond oil in a small saucepan. Heat on low for up to 10 minutes, then turn off the heat and let the chamomile infuse for an hour. Strain out the chamomile.

2. Using a funnel, spout the almond oil into a glass jar. Add in coconut oil and essential oils (If you want to add in some lemon or lavender oil, now is the time to do it). Feel free to add any other dried herbs if you like.

3. Screw the lid tight and shake well to combine.

4. While filling up the tub, splash roughly 1-2 tablespoons under the running faucet. Allow the oils to disperse fully before climbing in.

Soak for no more than 30 minutes and then towel off.

FEBRUARY & MARCH 2019 | DELIGHTED SOUL | 5

Let’s Talk Intentionality Katora Thomas (@sokatorable) is an educator, event planner, and friend until the end.

Here’s what she has to say about being intentional.

How did you come to know God?

I think I LEARNED about God my whole life but I don’t think it’s accurate to say that I really came to KNOW God until I was in my early twenties. I lost my mom when I was 16 and for years I just sort of let life happen with a new attitude of indifference towards obstacles in life. In my mind, there was nothing you could do to me or take away from me that would hurt me more than the loss of my mom. I was sort of calloused as a coping mechanism to deal with her death, but boy was I wrong about that. As I got older I faced trials, and you could probably say me getting to KNOW God came when I was at my lowest of lows during those times. I got to know more of who He was as I made it through trial after trial – as I looked back to reflect on how He set me up to win, how He had control the entire time, and how absolutely NOTHING was a coincidence or left to chance.

That’s when I really started to get an idea of how big and who God was.

How do you define intentionality?

I’m a big planner, so I define intentionality as thoughtfully creating a plan to do something that’s important to you.

What would you say is the biggest reward you’ve seen as a result of your investment in friendships?

The impact that they’ve had on people they’ve never even met, through me. Each of my friends help develop and sharpen characteristics about me that help me to be what others need somewhere later on down the road. (Shout out to Jas as the most tactful feedback giver I’ve ever seen.) They have a sort of “Pay It Forward” impact that I don’t think they even realize!

How do you hold your friends accountable?

A lot of my friends like the fact that I will “give it to them straight”. So if I believe in something strongly enough, I owe it to them to do my best to both encouragingly express it, and not water it down to where the point is missed. It’s a fine line, but I pray a lot too! lol

Not everyone has mastered the art of selflessness in friendships, how do you remain selfless even when it’s not matched?

I’m a teacher, so I interact with so many different students per day, with so many different personalities, backgrounds, and personal issues. I constantly remind myself that their story is their own, and won’t look like mine. I look at friendships the same way. I know I can’t expect everyone to behave, think, and react to things like I would, and that’s okay.

How do you balance meeting the needs of those around you and your own?

I’ll have to be honest and say I’m not entirely sure I am able to “balance” per se just yet. Someone recently asked me what are the qualities I possess that would make others like me and everything I listed dealt with other people. I think I’m still trying to figure out those qualities that are more specific to me, and I’d like to dedicate more time to things involving them. Currently though, I just give until I’m empty and then turn into a hermit until I’m replenished, lol. It’s a work in progress!

What advice would you give to a young woman who is learning to have mature friendships with other women?

Look at everything with love. Too often we cut off friendships because of minor differences of opinion, and look back wondering why we did it. When we look at every situation with love, I think we can value our differences, faults, and positive attributes a lot more leading to more fruitful, supportive and long-lasting friendships.

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#Community Goals Chloe Airhart (@cutechlothes) is the founder of LIT Bible Study (@litbiblestudy) in Dallas, TX, and she’s learned a thing or two about community through this ministry.

Have you been praying on what your next step with Christ is? One thing I have witnessed as a firm step of faith for all believers is to become a part of a Godly community. I’m sure you probably recall in Genesis when God said it was not good for man to be alone; He did not mean everyone needed to be married. With those words, God meant it was not good for man to be alone in this walk of faith. There are so many outside influences that can easily pull us away from our focus each day if we do not have people surrounding us and encouraging us to keep going. By “people” I mean those individuals in your life that, without any doubt, have God at the center of their lives, make faith-based decisions, and will boldly and lovingly call you out if you are not doing the same.

Do you have a community of people like this? No, I am not talking about Ms. Betty at church that you greet and share surface-level details with, because you never tell her about how you’re always ready to cuss someone out when you’re driving. As believers, we need people we can be fully transparent with and do life together.

Personally, it took me a long time to figure out that I NEEDED Godly community.

In my experience, I began my community in a co-ed small Having these types of friends is one group at my church with people that were close in age. Since the of the most beautiful things that God group had already been established and I was a baby Christian, ordained because you see His love in I felt like I didn’t fit in. Everyone was so welcoming, transparent, action over and over. and friendly but for some reason I couldn’t get close to anyone.

Although I kept attending, I wanted more out of the experience. After a while, I realized that God placed it on my heart to go after my own friends, whether they were in church or not. I created a group where we could use the Bible to guide us as we openly discuss what plagues ourselves, our generation, and our world so that we could begin to attack the enemy from the inside out. This group has grown to become so much more than what I initially intended. They went from people I saw around town occasionally to being my best friends. We spent more time around each other the more we grew in Christ because we all realized how we kept each other away from being in a worldly mindset. We talk every day of the week because we need the accountability and prayer support. Having these types of friends is one of the most beautiful things that God ordained because you see His love in action over and over. You don’t feel like the only one in your struggles, you don’t feel like you can’t get out of your sin, you don’t feel like you can’t understand the Bible, you don’t feel like you’re not in relationship with God. You feel loved, understood, and encouraged. I NEEDED this for so long and I didn’t even know it. My spirit did, however, and that is how I was able to catapult my faith forward.

If you feel like you can improve your surroundings, try taking these steps and see if it blesses you like it blessed me: PRAY. Pray about where God wants you to plant yourself. Examine what He has already placed on your heart. What type of people do you connect with best (your gender, age range, marital status, a personal attribute, etc.)?

#1

#2

CONNECT. Plug into the place that God is leading you. You may feel like God hasn’t spoken to you about this, but I can assure you that God wants us to be in community with His people. Check out the verses below. You could begin in a small group that you know exists already, like in church or that a friend hosts. Maybe you’d like to start your own – go for it! Pray and ask God if this is the route He wants you to take.

#3

CONNECT AGAIN. Once you’ve plugged into a small group, find at least one person to exchange numbers with. You want to stay as involved as possible, even if you are an introvert. REALLY take advantage of the times you have an opportunity to get to know people outside of your regular meetings. This is where the real Godly community begins.

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#4 #5 #6

HEART CHECK. Don’t be afraid to share what troubles you and don’t be afraid of what troubles someone else. The same grace you’d like the group to give you, you give to them as well.

Relationships are not one-sided and that is the full purpose. You love and praise God, just as He loves and extends grace to you. The same will happen in community. Some days you need all the prayer and support, but some days you need to give all the prayer and support. You may also notice that it seems as if some people are more advanced in their walk than others. Try not to get caught up on what “level” someone is on because everyone will be contributing to what the group is producing. Everyone in the group will be used by God in some way so just focus on where you are and what God is telling you to do.

STAY INVOLVED. Once you get to know everyone, don’t allow yourself to slip away. You would be slowly, or quickly, slipping back into what you wanted to get away from. Your Godly community is now your external heartbeat. Keep going to your meet-ups unless God leads you elsewhere and continue to connect outside of those meetings. It is always okay to take a break from anything but do not break for long or you may never go back.

FRIENDS. Introduce your family and friends to your new, loving, caring, empowering, trusting, accountable friends-in-Christ! I can assure you they are here to stay.

If you would like more biblical backing on community, check out the scriptures below and continue to unfold more as you grow in the Word.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV)

Make it a habit to meet with other believers and keep each other going; life is tough sometimes!

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. (Romans 12:4-5)

“The foot bone’s connected to the... heel bone!” We are each other’s responsibility! We all have different

gifts but our purpose is the same and that is why we need each other.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:13–14 NIV)

How can you forgive or love someone if you are not in community? And if you REALLY love someone,

you’ll always do your part in the relationship.

Michelle’s Jewels

SISTERHOOD & INTENTIONALITY Words of Wisdom from Mother-In-Chief Michelle Powell SISTERHOOD: 1the relationship between sisters. 2an association, society, or community of women linked by a common interest, religion, or trade.

INTENTIONALITY: the act of being deliberate or acting with purpose.

Sisterhood is so important to have in this life. The Bible informs us that we cannot live this life alone. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17. No man or woman is an island. Meaning no woman is her own refuge, sanctuary, haven, or retreat. We absolutely need others to survive, and to thrive in this life. You need two or more people to tell you the truth, according to the word of God, and about how they see 8 | DELIGHTED SOUL | FEBRUARY & MARCH 2019

you, in your life. Then you can evaluate yourself and ask yourself, “Is this the way I want to be known, thought of, or remembered?” We have to build our sisterhood with intentionality. We should be deliberate in building our friendships. Our sisterhoods have to be cultivated, or they can suffer – even with our birth sisters. We must spend time and invest in our sisters to strengthen our relationships. It is important that we show love and support to one another in our sisterhood. You do not have to like all the same things, but there should be a few commonalities that draw you closer.

We are called to be the daughters of God through Jesus Christ, which places women believers into a holy sisterhood. We must have balance in our bond. We must love one another. We must encourage one another to be our best. We must advise one another to do what is right, in love. Even if we critique our sister, do it in love so that it will be well-received. It is better that you start off with a compliment of your sister’s good qualities, and not go for the jugular – critique after critique – because of your frustration with your sister. Remember that you are not a perfect being yourself. Sisterhood flourishes when you foster and bless it with love, and intentionality.

In the Bible, John 13:34 tells us, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” We are commanded to love one another.

You should not have a heart of envy, be filled with anger, or filled with jealousy because your sisters are advancing and living the life you hoped for. Check their alignment with Christ, and then check yours. Some women are selfish and they focus only on themselves, and take up all the other sisters’ time, never offering their time in return. Sisterhoods that are not deliberate can sit on a one-sided see-saw, not benefitting all the women who are involved. In that type of environment, those involved will eventually suffer from disappointment, anger, sadness, complacency, and often gossip, which gives Satan the opportunity to steal, kill, and destroy the honest mission of the sisterhood. Satan causes division in relationships that could have survived. When you are out of alignment with Christ, you are more than likely, the selfish one. If this is you, stop complaining and check your alignment. Are you studying your Bible? Are you praying to God? Are you spending time in meditation with God? Are you listening to God speaking to you? Are you letting your light shine to glorify God?

Women want to be heard, to be needed, to be loved, to have someone to listen to them, someone to vent to, someone to mentor them, to bounce ideas off of, to share joyous occasions with, and share sad occasions with. Sisterhood is a great outlet for this. Intentionality in a sisterhood helps it to prosper, and to grow. Through deliberate acts of sincere kindness, sisterhood can prosper. Yes, cheerfully doing kind things, that are deliberate, can grow a sisterhood. One example is intentionally making time to really listen to another sister’s problem – just let her vent, you do not have to fix her problems, you do not have to talk, just LISTEN, pray for her and stay or leave based on her needs. Other actions include sharing a meal or a cup of coffee, sending a thinking of you card, texting a scripture, speaking an encouraging word to uplift, buying a “Just because!” gift, praying for her, cooking for her when she’s sick, or giving a ride when she’s in need. Commit to your sisterhood and be intentional by doing any or all of these things in love without complaining. As a bonus, you will surely find yourself doing these things with other people outside of your sisterhood because you have become a little kinder, and your light will shine a little brighter, in Jesus’ name.

A lot of women’s feelings have been hurt by other women, even those who they called sisters. Sometimes the bonds of sisterhood are broken by others, and sometimes they’re broken by us. Where does your solidarity and intentionality lie? We forgive, and then we put up walls, to keep the person from betraying us, again. We stop trusting sisters. We began to say, “Women are messy, and that’s why I don’t hang out with them.” To rectify this situation is to be intentional and deliberate in your sisterhood. Treat the sisterhood the way you want to be treated. When we truly forgive our sisters, we are to restore them back to the place we once had them in our life. Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

SISTERHOOD

By Michelle Powell Sister, my sister, here I am standing with my arms open wide, to receive you as my friend. For the Bible says, if I want friends, I must show myself friendly.

Sister, my sister, I wait patiently to join you in a sisterhood. For the Bible says How can two walk together, unless they agreed?

Sister, my sister, I am here willing to help you, to encourage you, and speak my truth, in sisterly love. The Bible says love your neighbor as yourself.

Sister, my sister let’s build a sisterhood that is built on a strong foundation, together. You do your part and I will do mine, so that we can have a strong sisterhood with bonds that will not break.

Sister, my sister, talk to me, even when we disagree. Talk to me so that you will not become bitter. Don’t build up anger, or go talk to others about me. Come to me, so that we can talk it out until we agree that we are still going forward together in sisterhood.

FEBRUARY & MARCH 2019 | DELIGHTED SOUL | 9

Go Sis, Go! CAREER PROFILE

Name

Aysha Davisia Welch

Hometown

DeSoto, TX

Education High School: DeSoto High School c/o 2009 Undergraduate: The University of Texas at Austin, Bachelor of Business Administration in

Management Information Systems c/o 2013 Professional Employer: Alight Solutions Position: Workday Configuration Consultant How long? 6.5 years I love that every day is a challenge. It is satisfying when I am presented with a problem What do you from a client and I’m able to arrive at a solution through creativity and thoughtfulness. I enjoy that no two days are the same. I genuinely learn something new every day. The work love most that I do requires a few certifications so I’m glad to know that it takes skillset to accomplish about your my work. The people that I work with are a rewarding part of my job as well. We are current job? collaborative and have a nice balance of work and fun in the office so I enjoy working in that type of environment. I also love the flexibility. I work from home twice a week so it’s nice to be able to work anywhere I can use my laptop.

What is one of the most monumental experiences on your journey?

Becoming a people manager has been one of the most monumental. As a millennial, it has been a challenge to earn the respect of older colleagues, but I have achieved this through my work. I am at a point in my career where I am the subject matter expert in a few areas. Since I did not want to be complacent in my work, I thought becoming a manager would be a new challenge that allowed me to mentor and excel others’ careers. I spoke with my manager in mid-2018 and by August, I was officially a manager of 3 direct reports.

How do you avoid getting burned out?

I devote myself to my personal interests such as playing drums, completing escape rooms, and diving into one of the numerous TV shows I watch. When I log off from work, I do not think about work again until the next day. Having that clear separation between work and my personal life allows me to fully enjoy my personal interests without burning myself out.

How do you balance your work, church, and social duties?

I leave work at work. If I’m not logged into my work laptop, then I’m not thinking about work. On weekday evenings, I tend to stick to a schedule. Monday: Drum Lessons, Tuesday: Free Evening so I can usually take advantage of the discount day at Cinemark, Wednesdays: Date Night, Thursdays: Basketball with my male co-workers or Bible Study, Fridays: Free for anything social. I usually save Saturdays for dates and Sunday is devoted to serving at my church. Thankfully, I’ve been able to create this balance that reduces the risk of stress.

What is your ultimate career goal?

My ultimate career goal is ever changing. At the beginning of my career at Alight, my goal was to be the CEO of a company someday. Now, I want to reach a senior level if I’m still at Alight while pursuing my personal interests, whether that’s opening an escape room or making a living off of drumming.

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This Issue’s Scripture Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

24

HEBREWS 10:24-25

Break It Down

I am undeniably an introvert. If it was up to me, in my flesh, I might try to live out my days in the quiet shell of my apartment on the couch with a blanket and my dog, in my own thoughts…but that’s my flesh. When we give our lives to Christ, we give up our comfort. We strive to accept challenges and are obedient to the places He calls us to, which are never comfortable, but they matter more than we will ever know.

God has given us the ability to walk through life with others. Of course we know about bad peer pressure, which can cause you to do things you shouldn’t be doing, but there is a such thing as good peer pressure - that’s what this scripture is talking about. We as believers should be pressuring our sisters (and brothers) to do good things through accountability, the way we live our lives, the urging of the Holy Spirit, and of course the Word of God. But how can we do that if we seclude ourselves? We can’t. We’ll be tempted to pull away from people, but that’s why the scripture instructs us not to because we won’t be here forever. There’s no time to waste in making sure that we’re doing all we can not only to build our personal relationships with God, but to encourage those around us to develop theirs as well, show love to one another, and be representatives of Christ.

Don’t let your comfort zone, bad experiences, or people who hurt you in the past keep you from a healthy community in this season. Push yourself to connect in love, and I promise you will not regret it.

Do you want to share feedback or see a specific topic covered in the future?

Let me know! jas@delightedsoulmag.com FEBRUARY & MARCH 2019 | DELIGHTED SOUL | 11