March 2013, Issue 6
Grandparents ENJOY NO LABOUR
LATEST YOUNGSTERS
Amazing Talent Self-Esteem Teen
INSIDE GAME FOR ALL
H EALTHY H OUSEHOLD
Food Cravings School is Hell GIFTED KIDS VIEW F A M ILY M E N U P LA N
Mediterranean Change or Same FEAR RELATIONSHIP
ACCEPT THE CHANGE CHALLENGE
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March 2013, Issue 6
CONTENTS
Accept the Change Challenge Changing the World one Parent at a Time page # 7
Craving Inner Peace Raising a Healthy Household
page # 8
By Tara Wilhem
This School is Hell The Challenge for Gifted Children
page # 11
By Laura Fobler
What’s in a Name? The 2 Year Old “Greatest Achievement”
page # 14
By Diana Dentinger
Mediterranean Meals Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
page # 17
By Diana Dentinger
Your Relationship with Change Do you really want things the same?
page # 21
By Mandisa Mndela 3
March 2013, Issue 6
CONTENTS
The Soda Chart Sugar is not Love
page # 23
By Diana Dentinger
Self-Esteem in Tweens & Teens It’s an Inside Job
page # 24
By Fern Weis
Grandparenting Enjoy the Fruit of No Labour
page # 28
By Rahma Hassan
The Embarrassing “P” Word Get a Scent for it
page # 33
By Diana Dentinger
Not all Carbohydrates are Created Equal Why Carbohydrates Matter to You
page # 34
By Diana Dentinger
Reach out to the Contributors
page # 35-36 4
FROM THE EDITOR
h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZZE1YIeHak
March 2013, Issue 6
FEEDBACK Your feedback is welcome. This is your magazine too. Let us know what would help you find inner peace in parenting your children. Contact Inner Peace Parenting Magazine Magazine Privacy Policy
Most people have a preferred season... and many people either adore or despise Summer for the heat or Winter for the cold.
Copyright 2012 Diana Dentinger Inner Peace Parenting Magazine Sviluppo CCT sas - Italy All rights reserved under the International and Pan American Copyright Conventions. Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited without written permission from the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility for the unsolicited materials.
But I have never heard of anyone not liking Spring. In the Northern hemisphere, where I have always lived, nature starts to wake up. The days get longer, the skies get bluer and the trees turn greener with soft colored blossoms and delicate perfumes.
Diana Dentinger, Editor Inner Peace Parenting Magazine
There is something about Spring that renews people’s spirits. Being we are part of nature...we have our Human Nature...and we align with the natural cycle of change. This month is about Change and inspiring you to change something that is bringing you frustration in your parenting. So your family relationships, your kids and you bloom into something even more beautiful! Enjoy your reading and viewing! 5
Laura Fobler
Tara Milhem
Rahma Hassan
Fern Weis
Mandisa Mndela
Pollinate your Family with Peace March 2013 Contributors
Diana Dentinger Diana Dentinger Editor in Chief Inner Peace Parenting Magazine 6
Accept the
Change Challenge
h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iMYuS82jUU
March-April
Better Parent
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PEACE IN HEALTH
Craving Inner Peace Raising a Healthy Household By Tara Wilhem
Raising a household alone is challenging, but raising a healthy household is downright difficult if you don’t know the tricks! If you are a parent struggling with overactive children, I invite you to ask yourself a question regarding food. Is what your kids are eating, or not eating, affecting their behavior? I’ve compiled my five best tips to keep you and your kids out of the cookie jar, by reducing cravings and urges for unhealthy foods. 1. Keep your blood sugar in balance It’s always the days that you skip a meal (too busy being a parent) that your cravings start soaring right?
2. Aim for nutrient-dense foods Try to abstain from high-fat foods and bad sugars for at least 2 weeks. After 2 weeks your body becomes assimilated to new habits, guaranteeing you’ll make better choices.
This means making sure you are eating breakfast at least two hours within waking up and having small meals throughout the day.
Fatty, greasy foods affect the heroine and morphine centers of the brain actually making you addicted!
This goes for the kids as well, snacks are a great way to implement this.
Clean out the kitchen, your family won’t be tempted to eat what’s not in the kitchen. 8
5. Know your triggers If you know that every time you take a family trip to the movies everyone is bound to get buttery popcorn, nachos, and diet soda, eat before! Try to dissociate food from events. Cooking a healthy dinner for your kids before the movies is a great start.
3. Diet and Splenda are not your friend Artificial sweeteners are up to 600 times sweeter than actual sugar. Next time you reach for the “low sugar� items, take a step back. When you let your brain become used to these fake sugars, without a doubt you and your kids are going to crave sweets!
These tips are so easy you can start right now! If incorporating all 5 tips starting tomorrow morning is overwhelming, start with one tip a day. Remember, the walk of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Say bye-bye to cravings and hello to a healthy, manageable family!
4. Take a Supplement Keeping your Omega-3, Omega-6, and Vitamin D levels up are crucial in preventing intense sugary and salty desires. Fish oils are so potent that they have even been proven to stop alcoholism and drug addiction. Once fish oils are in check, behavior has been shown to improve dramatically!
Tara Milhem Tara Milhem is notably one of the pioneers in her field being the youngest person ever to become a certified Holistic Health Coach and Registered Dietitian. Tara specializes in creating personal meal plan packages, providing unlimited email support and guidance, and acting as your "Virtual Nutritionista". Find her at: http://www.facebook.com/SkinnybyTara 9
If you don’t like where you are, then change it!
You are not a tree!
PEACE IN GIFTED
This School is Hell The Challenges for Gifted Children By Laura Fobler
‘School is hell and Mrs B, our French teacher, is a moron!!’ My daughter, almost 12 years old, comes out of school and releases her frustration about school. I can see steam coming out of her ears! It is not the first time I see her like this. To be honest, I cannot remember a single day she didn’t come out of school filled with anger, frustration, and a lot of sadness. School is supposed to be a place where you can learn something, right?
Just so you understand, my daughter is gifted. Gifted children have other needs than ‘average children’ and one of their needs is the way they learn.
It is just fine to be an average child and have average children. Each child and person is gifted with unique traits and talents. The term “gifted” is what the general public is used to hearing when referring to higher intelligence or an early acquisition of a particular skill.
Most average children learn bottom up, which means that they first learn all essential elements.
Most gifted children on the other hand, learn ‘top-down’.
Then they learn about the bigger picture, the use of the elements and the interaction between the elements.
They first want to know why they need to learn something, how they can use it and what the end result looks like.
And learning should be fun, right?
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Maybe telling a story about the mission of Curiosity going to Mars could be a wonderful way to introduce algebra, since all those engineers and scientists need algebra to calculate the exact time, place and angle etc. for when and where Curiosity will land. In most schools, they simply start out with algebra. When my daughter asks her teachers why the class needs to learn something or why it is important to learn, they often tell her to simply DO her homework and not think about the ‘WHY’. Unfortunately, my daughter cannot forget the ‘why’, as this is her dominant learning style. She cannot change her biology, as gifted people simply have a brain design that differs from ‘average’ people. If you think about learning styles as question words then you see that the “How to do” things is part of a common sense learning style. This type of person need to simply do things. Many people are doers so it is “common”. Doing is a big part of life but not the impulse that first motivates an “above average” child. The “What to do” is part of an analytical learning style.
This kind of person needs facts. Most teaching is about the how and the what to do. The “Why of things” is part of an imaginative learning style. This style of person needs the reason. Once they have the reason then they get going. Small children are curious and love the “why”. Why is it that at some point they stop asking? Could it be they are taught to be a different style? The “What if” is part of a big picture learning style. This type of person needs things filled with different possibilities. In your opinion, is the school meeting the needs of all the learning styles? Back to my daughter, she never stops asking questions to her teachers, but she hardly ever receives a rewarding answer. Are your children the same? So I completely understand why she and other children can come home frustrated and filled with both anger and a lot of sadness. I agree. In this light, school sucks. Could it be time to change? What would you change if you could?
Laura Fobler Laura helps parents on”What to Say” and “How to Respond” when anger, hurt or conflicts are present so parents create closeness, connection and a strong bond with their child. Find out more about her approach and download her free resources at http://www.laurafobler.com. 12
PEACE IN MUSIC
The Latest Gifted Musician The 4 Year Old Piano Master
If play and fun and laughter and passion and giggling and excitement and joy and concentration... are the recipe for ABILITY then let’s all live our days like this little boy! ENJOY HIS ENERGY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZqW3xLTjaE
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PEACE IN TALENT
What’s in a Name? The 2 year old “Greatest Achievement” By Diana Dentinger h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6A-‐M46a52I
Roebourne Diadem Luna is the name of this child. His father, Regin Rex, named him after an Australian customer that he served when he worked in a global outsourcing company in the Philippines. When Regin Rex researched the name he found out that it was also a place in Australia that used to be one of the largest goldmines on the continent! Diadem means crown, so the parents put together the name “Roebourne Diadem” meaning “golden crown”. The father writes: “For my wife and I, he is our crowning glory, Greatest Achievement.”
All names are made of sound. And often parents chose a name for their child that “sounds good” with the last name. But on a deeper level, all names carry “meaning”. And giving your child a name is a very important moment. For the parents it becomes not only how they will call the child to come for dinner, but how they will relate to that child for the rest of his life. Often certain names run in the family and are used over and over again. If the name carries positive memories of another loved one, then on a subtle plane, using that name keeps unconscious memories alive. 14
For the child, a name deeply impacts his identity, how he sees himself and feels about himself. It impacts if he is “happy” to be called. Some people don’t like their name and you wonder if it was because of “name calling” as a child and being made fun of or because the name is “meaningless”. Many people instead love their name, not just for the sound, but for the “emotions” they have attached to it and for their identification with the image and feel of the name.
This child was not born in an elite family. He was not given any genetic or environmental advantage. The father is jobless and they are on a tight budget. He stays home with his son since the wife has more tenure in her line of work. The boy is often sick though so they have high medical expenses and the parents have felt the threat of kidnapping. The father writes that most of the other people are amazed, They say: “Wow, outrageous, wonder kid, fantastic, you are so lucky to have him.” He is the youngest child to be on the “That’s a Boy” contest:
Somehow, contained in a name is h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9RRmsat1Jw something deeper still. A name could be like a mission statement, a design of life But for these parents hearing all this is or a project. Companies name their overwhelming. It is a big responsibility projects and we accept that the name and even difficult to keep an intelligent describes the intent of that plan. Well, child stimulated. And even making people have a project plan too. Could it be friends is difficult. Many people feel in their first names? intimidated by their son’s abilities. Even when he was an infant he started to So now you wonder...Do you remember see things, and he always seemed to focus questions like: What comes first, the easily and imitate simple actions (e.g. chicken or the egg? snapping of fingers, action songs and pointing out objects). Well, with a name, we could ask the same question. What comes first: the name or He was able to easily remember things the project? that his parents taught him. At the age of Many parents, just like those of 1 & a half he could already identify more Roebourne Diadem, give real meaning to than 20 animal figures, colors and their child’s name. Is it just a coincidence shapes. that this child’s project seems to be unfolding? If he really is the “golden crown” then maybe his gifted intellect was “pronounced” or confirmed through his name. So now you wonder why some people change their names. Is it because they don’t feel “the project of that name.” Could a name and a project be one? 15
Now at the age of 2, he can count objects from 1-30 (not only verbal but by pointing), and is able to name objects/ things around him. Of course, they avoid comparing him with other kids among his age since they realize that he's totally ahead. He can read 120 simple English words and has been taught how to speak in English by talking to him in English and watching various English children programs. He doesn't understand their native language that much. But it is not his intelligence that makes him special, it is actually his genuineness. For his parents, they say, that every moment is special. He shows affection and compassion, especially to his father, when he is upset, sad or distressed. He knows how to say sorry sincerely when he does something wrong and he taps his father on the back when he feels that he is lonely. He says: “Tatay (father), don’t be upset, I will make you feel better.” And there he goes doing a silly face or saying “I love you” without being asked to. The father believes that his emotional intelligence is actually keener that his mental ability.
Having a bright child is rewarding but also carries worries and frustrations. Now they were told that Roebourne should not go to a normal school, but one for gifted children so he can maximize his potential. It is humiliating for the family that they are one of the less fortunate people in the Philippines who can only afford to send their child to a school with 60 kids in a class and no books. Their dream is to send their child to a private school so his “golden crown” can help the world evolve, that both his intellect and his emotional intelligence can help make this world a better place to live. They are actively applying to foundations and associations to be able to go abroad. The parents pass sleepless nights worried that they will not be able to give their child the best. Isn’t that funny... don’t we all. Being a parent of a “normal, special or gifted child” brings on the same emotions. If any of you readers has suggestions for this family please write the magazine editor:contact@innerpeaceparentingmag azine.com
PS I do not recommend you searching for people to name your children after, especially if you think you will automatically have a successful or famous child. Please, don’t put that kind of pressure and expectation on your child. It could seem like you wish your child was “like someone else” instead of being his unique self!
Diana Dentinger As a Neurobiology Therapist, Diana Dentinger has studied both both psychology and behavior based on emotional memory stored in the middle brain. She created the Personality & Needs Profile as the primary tool she uses to help parents understand the essence of their children. She offers complimentary consultations: www.parentbynumbers.com/session/
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Mediterranean Meals h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urWf-‐1iQlLY
h"p://www.facebook.com/InnerPeaceParenUngMagazine
Breaking Your Fast with a
Healthier Breakfast 17
Mediterranean Meals h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbFSEPWZIrw
h"p://www.facebook.com/InnerPeaceParenUngMagazine
Light Lunches 18
Mediterranean Meals h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_47y9pNSIF0
h"p://www.facebook.com/InnerPeaceParenUngMagazine
Easy Dinner Plan Buon Appetito! 19
If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.
Inner Peace Parenting Magazine 20
PEACE IN TRUTH
Your Relationship with Change Do you really want things the same? By Mandisa Mndela
It is interesting to notice, the relationship we all have with change. As often as it occurs, you would imagine that we would be used to it, but instead we have an immense resistance to it, which is primarily caused by a fear for it. People in general like the idea of comfort, because it brings certainty, stability and control to most of us. Change on the other hand is seen as the opposite, destabilizing, and uncertain. So let’s take a moment and imagine if nothing ever changed. Imagine if things stayed the same. What kind of life would that be?
It would be a life with no growth, no creativity, no opportunity, no dreams, and no aspirations. Our interaction with change need not be as awkward as it is. As our life and the times change, we don’t lose our values, our beliefs, our sense of self. Instead we have the opportunity to get creative about how we keep up with the times. We can always stay true to ourselves and be consciously available for the final destination of the results of change and what we are trying to achieve. Remember, change is constant and inevitable. Embrace it and steer it in the direction that you most desire!
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My name is Mandisa Mndela, born on September 22, 1970 in the rural part of Umthatha, Eastern Cape, South Africa. I later moved to Johannesburg in 1996 and worked for various firm. I even managed The Dawn Property Group, and acquired a Diploma in real estate. It is when I was in this corporate world that something happened. A sharp turn on my journey occurred, a turn that took me to the foundations of my being. It is then that I took a one way ticket out of Falseland, and into a journey of finding my soul, into a place where my truth resides. It is on this journey that I realized that the long period between birth and death, is what we commonly call “life”. In this period we exist to witness and execute all sorts of atrocities and conversely, the revered measures the world has to offer.
As I pondered on this word “life” I thought about all it really offers and how we, more times than not, miss out on our gifts as we ride the wave living on the surface. Along this line of thought, these questions constantly popped up: Who am I? What I am truly here for? Am I living my true self? If I die today, what legacy am I leaving behind? It is after these questions that I was taken to one spot only…to the Truth. I noticed that without being true to anything, I always keep myself in the same pit of an unfulfilled life. It all starts with the truth and it all ends with the truth. The big question now is: Are you living your truth?
Mandisa Mndela Mandisa is the author of the book “Stand”. She realizes it is quite hard sometimes to live your truth so she developed a 90 Day Program to help people discover the amazing and fulfilling life that awaits them when they Stand in their Truth. Find her on: www.standyourtruth.com
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Sugar is not Love... yet our body and mind sometimes use it as a substitute. Give Love not Sugar!
PEACE WITH TEENS
Self-Esteem in Tweens & Teens It’s an Inside Job By Fern Weis, Parent Coach
Self-esteem: “the picture we hold of ourselves in our mind and the value we place on ourselves.” Notice that it’s about you seeing yourself as capable and lovable, accepting your strengths and limitations, having confidence in your ability to cope with life’s challenges, and believing that you are worthy of happiness. It’s about learning through experience. Self-esteem is an inside job. The prevailing mindset is that kids need to feel good about themselves all the time. Our culture has bought into the idea that if kids feel good about themselves, they will do good things. In fact, it’s just the opposite. When kids do great things they will feel good about themselves. (Check out Hyde School, www.hyde.edu for more about building character.) Kids cannot feel good all the time. They will struggle, experience sadness and disappointment. This is real and realistic. Much as it pains you to see them struggle, it’s actually a good thing.
When it comes to loved ones most of us seem wired to pump them up and set boundaries at the first sign they’re treating themselves unlovingly. Talking the talk is good. Walking the walk is better. How we treat ourselves speaks volumes when it comes to budding young minds observing us. “Do as I say, not as I do,” doesn’t erase the inconsistent behaviors our children observe.
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Children tend to learn what they live. Heck, many adults do too. Failure can be one of the ‘great things’. As adults, you and I can identify lessthan-stellar situations in our past, and we often say with pride that we learned much and grew stronger from the experience – much more than we learned from our successes. The road to higher self-esteem may sometimes feel just the opposite. There will be overwhelming and disappointing experiences for your child. It is in recovering from these difficulties that self-esteem grows. How else will children know what they are capable of? And when they do problem-solve their way out of disaster, this a moment of true pride! So where do you fit in? If you tend to micromanage or hover, to smooth the way to remove obstacles or the chance of failure, pay close attention. The micromanager parent jumps at the slightest sign of a problem. This pattern continues into high school (and, believe it or not, into college and even the workplace).
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This teen has never been held accountable because someone else has been picking up the pieces. He has not been given the chance to develop critical problem-solving skills. How can he function in the adult world when he’s being treated like a child? When you care more about the outcomes than your child, things are way out of balance. Here comes the most difficult part of parenting – stepping back and letting them experience the consequences of their actions. If our ultimate goal is to raise our children to be confident, selfsufficient and happy adults, we must let them experience all of life, the successes and the challenges. Here are two critical questions to ask when the urge strikes to jump in and fix things for your child: 1. Whose problem is it anyway? Be honest with yourself. If the answer is “Not my problem,” and it’s not a matter of health or safety, let go and step aside.
Sit on your hands, zip your lip and step aside. I can hear some of you saying, “But…” No ‘buts’ about it. You must do this for your child. 2. The question for your child is, “What are you going to do about it?” (in a neutral tone of voice, of course). If you moan and groan that your kids seem too dependent, it’s time to shift the responsibility where it belongs – to them. Offer to help, if you must, but don’t do it for them. After they muddle through, you might hear them say, “It was difficult, but I took care of it.” Talk about boosting self-esteem! You can’t give your kids self-esteem, but you can be the catalyst that helps them build it for themselves. Stepping back and letting go may be the most difficult thing you ever do for your child… and it will have the biggest payoff: kids who go off into the world, competent, compassionate and whole. This article is excerpted from the report, BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM IN TWEENS AND TEENS: IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK www.yourfamilymatterscoach.com for your free copy of the full report.
Fern Weis Fern Weis, Coaching for Parents of Teens. From silence to sharing and apathy to responsibility. Helping parents raise capable, self-sufficient kids. Visit her at www.yourfamilymatterscoach.com or write her at fern@yourfamilymatterscoach.com Phone: 201-747-9642
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PEACE IN GENERATIONS
Grandparenting Enjoying the Fruit of No “Labour” By Rahma Hassan
I am now a grandmother of 8 lovely grandchildren! No, not 8! I am a grandmother to uncountable grandchildren because my culture gives me the right to be so! While my daughters were growing up, it was difficult to understand that in addition to my brothers and sisters, all my cousins and friends were their ‘uncle’ and ‘aunties’. With few lessons from me and other members of the extended families, they grew to understand and sometimes show off to their friends the uncountable family members that they have.
It is time to step back and watch how our children pass on the values we gave to them unfold as they bring up their own children.
This is the beauty of Nigerian culture.
I feel the role of grand parents should be very carefully done as it is very easy for parents to feel one is meddling with their children’s upbringing and for grandchildren to feel they are not a grandparent’s responsibility as such do not see them as important in their lives.
My role has changed immensely within and outside the family set up. The role of a grandmother in the family is a tricky one though. It does take time and a great deal of constraint to remember that this type of parenting is no longer ‘hands-on’.
However, when the roles of grandparents are lovingly done, it is the most fulfilling engagement one can have in a lifetime. It is like watching your favourite plant blossom in someone else’s garden to which you have unlimited access!
This is the reason why by extension, I am grandmother to all my nephews’ and nieces’ children as well as my friends’ grandchildren.
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According to Smolak, l993, “There is probably no other role that is so nearly universal yet so heterogeneously defined as grandparenthood” The role of grandparents is not clearly defined in the West, and is viewed almost as a role not essential to the functioning of the family or the growth and development of children. According to an article by Legacy Project, early last century, over 60% of older adults lived with children; in the developed world. By 1975 it dropped to only 14%.
Other cultures, for example African and Asian - recognize the critical role of grandparents as guides and advisors to the younger generations. In all cultures grandparents play genderspecific roles related to children development. Grandmothers are responsible for transmitting cultural values. Grandmothers’ child-rearing expertise is acquired over a lifetime. In all cultures grandmothers are involved in multiple aspects of the lives of children and families at the household level.
With this development, older adults have no important economic role in family life and they did not pose any threat to the existence of their children and grandchildren. This independence meant they could become companions and friends to their grandchildren.
The roles of grandmothers appear to be universal whereas much of their knowledge and practices are culturallyspecific. Grandmothers influence the attitudes and decisions made by male family members regarding children’s wellbeing. Some of grandmothers’ practices are beneficial for child development whereas others are not. Compared to younger women, grandmothers generally have more time to spend and patience with young children. Grandmothers’ knowledge comes primarily from their own mothers and their peers. Many grandmothers have a collective sense of responsibility for children and women in the community.
Grandparents strive for love and friendship with their grandchildren rather than demand respect and obedience. So, rather than disciplining, grandparents cuddled; rather than speaking authoritatively, they listened affectionately.
I am not taking my role as a grandparent lightly. Having said that, I know that a good relationship with my grandchildren will be based on my good relationship with my children and that I must know my limits and not meddle in the way they relate to their children. Just like parenting, there is no manual to guide one as to how to be a grandparent. It is a ‘learn as you go’ process. 28
I am learning and I have also done some research on the roles of grandparents. Generally, grandparents offer children a broader range of knowledge, emotions and experience than they did as parents. They also inhabit a special place in the family as a trusted adult, yet separate and different from the child's parents, and may provide a safe place for children to turn in times of stress when they feel they cannot approach their parents.
This gives the grandchild a sense of "we," solidifying the fact that he or she belongs to a family unit - something bigger than themselves - and gives him or her a sense of safety and security. Because a grandparent is not responsible for the day-to-day care and discipline of the grandchild, it is easy to assume the role of a friend, secret confidante, and a "light-hearted conspirator."
A foremost expert on grandparenting opined that, there are 11 roles grandparents play in a family. These roles are flexible and they will change and grow as you and your grandchild(ren) do so too, and you may find yourself playing many different roles throughout the years. However, some of these roles are the special in the lives of their grandchildren. A grandparent as an ancestor, you are the link to your grandchild's ancestors. You are the head of the family unit and a connection to the family's common history. In addition, your age, wrinkles and probably grey hairs serve as proof of survival and resilience, and stories of your own grandparents and other ancestors bring them to life and make them real for your grandchildren. A grandparent plays the role of historian in the family. This role overlaps slightly with Ancestor; however, you are the living witness to the history of your own time, in addition to that of your ancestors.
Studies have shown that many grandparents "treat their grandchildren in a more relaxed and permissive manner than they ever treated their own children." As a result, children often feel more comfortable discussing sensitive issues with a grandparent than with their own parents. However, when fulfilling this role, it is necessary to be mindful of pitfalls such as conspiring in activities that are against the parents' wishes. Grandchildren may take advantage of the love of grandparents to ‘break’ their parent’s rules. 29
You may be a hero to your grandchild just for the fact that you have endured for many years or that you stepped in to rescue or help your grandchild in a time of need. Your life achievements in your profession and community make you a hero to your grandchildren. Being a hero makes you a role model to your grandchild, someone to model his or her life after and someone to inspire them. Grandparents may be role models to their grandchildren. As role models, your actions can teach your grandchildren how they should behave in society, care for themselves, and how they should aspire to be as future parents and grandparents themselves. Your influence can also help create a positive perception of older people in general. Your relationship with your children can also serve as a model for your grandchildren's relationships with their own parents and children. You are a mentor to your grandchildren by being are a cheerleader, inspiring their imagination and her dreams, nurturing their spirit, and encouraging their intellectual growth while giving them a sense of self-worth. Grandparents can effectively transfer knowledge to their grandchildren because their unconditional love makes them feel safe, comfortable and loved for who they are, not how they perform. As a grandparent you are a nurturer, a role similar to your role as parent, with some added functions and advantages. Your support provides an emotional and social safety net for the entire family, making your grandchildren feel safe and secure.
This role has become even more important in light of the increasing divorce rate, parents' career demands, teenage pregnancy, and other social problems. Long-distance nurturing may be more challenging, but is not impossible. Make sure your children and grandchildren know that you are there if needed. Keep in close touch with your grandchildren with frequent phone calls, emails, letters or postcards if frequent inperson visits are not possible. As grandparents, your role could be spiritual to your grandchildren and can help teach them to value and achieve spiritual rewards such as love, tolerance, compassion, reverence, joy, peace, gentleness, faith and kindness. Since you are not responsible for their daily well-being, you can focus on their spiritual, moral growth and development. By acting in a moral, ethical, and honest manner you set an example for your grandchildren to emulate. While it is true that you have many valuable things to teach your grandchild, don't forget that you have many valuable lessons to learn about and from them. There is a lot of useful knowledge to pick up by listening to what your grandchildren have to teach you. 30
They can teach you to keep up with new inventions and ideas to help keep you growing and changing, which is key to remaining vibrant and youthful. Your grandchildren will also get a sense of empowerment and self-worth by teaching you new things and sharing a bit of their life and culture with you. Therefore your role is also that of a student. By the simple fact that you are a grandparent, you have a fantastic opportunity to impart your knowledge, special skills, and experience to your grandchildren as their teacher. If your subject matter meets with opposition from your grandchild's parents, talk it over with them openly and calmly and try to come to a compromise.
Differences in values, lifestyle, religion, and tradition can sometimes cause conflict, but showing your grandchildren you can come to a compromise will benefit everyone. This is my Angle on this issue. What is yours? Are you struggling with your children and grandchildren in playing your role as a grandparent? What do grandchildren think of their grandparents? What do parents think about the relationship between their children and their own parents? If you share, we will learn from each other and thus ‘make the world a better place for our children and our children’s children’, Michael Jackson
Rahma Hassan Rahma is an Intuitive Life Coach. She assists her Clients to find the truth, love and light in themselves, so that they can become their authentic selves. She also works with Eric Pearl's Reconnective healing technique to compliment her work. Find her at: http://www.rahmathassan.com
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It’s a good idea to get a scent of this embarassing “P” word! h"p://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVmmHh-‐AVfw
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CONTRIBUTORS
February 2013, Issue 5
REACH OUT TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS
Tara Milhem is notably one of the pioneers in her field being the youngest person ever to become a certified Holistic Health Coach. In addition to being a Certified Health Coach, Tara is also studying to become a Registered Dietitian. She practices a philosophy based on eating for pleasure, health, and beauty. Tara specializes in creating personal meal plan packages, providing unlimited email support and guidance, and acting as your "Virtual Nutritionista". Visit http://www.facebook.com/SkinnybyTara
Mandisa Mndela’s talent is asking questions: Have you ever thought how would it be, to live your life from a true sense of your inner being? Be who you truly are? Be true to what you presenting always? I am sure we all can, if we could stand together and commit to courageously stand our truth, in love, compassion and peace for all. What a better place this would be! She offers intense 90 Day Programs for all age groups. Visit her at: http://standyourtruth.com
Fern Weis says: “The dark road of my son’s teenage years inspired me to become a parent coach. I support and educate parents on transforming the parent-teen relationship, letting go of the need to control, helping kids become super problem-solvers and taking the confusion out of decision-making. In other words, raising teens to confident, selfsufficient adulthood and maintaining your sanity along the way. Get started with a free “Effective Parent/Successful Child Jumpstart Kit” at www.yourfamilymatterscoach.com
Rahmat’s vision is a world where all people are confident that they will live a healthy and fulfilling life having achieved their maximum potential. She was born in Kano – Nigeria in 1952, started her education in Nigeria and came to London in 1989 to study for a Masters degree in Maternal and Child Health in the University of London. Rahmat has a wealth of experience on self-empowerment, capacity-building and human development worldwide. Over a 1000 women benefited from a life skill project which she worked on for over 10 years in Africa. Many more women and young people benefited from various empowerment 33 project with which she has been involved in the UK. http://www.rahmathassan.com
February 2013, Issue 5
CONTRIBUTORS
REACH OUT TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS
Laura Fobler is the author of “The Parenting Struggle” and creator of “Recipe for Fabulous Children”. After working with many coaching clients who suffered from low self-esteem and an overall lack of confidence, she decided to help parents raise children with healthy self-esteem. She has a masters degree in Psychology, is passionate about communication and enjoys extensive training and experience as a coach, trainer ad mother. Meet her at: LauraFobler.com
Diana Dentinger, Editor of the Inner Peace Parenting Magazine is on a mission to change the world, one parent at a time. After 20 years as a Corporate Trainer and Personal Growth Coach, she realized that parents need an infinite amount of skills to raise children in a changing world. She offers complimentary consultations for those parents really committed to stepping forward to change: http://parentbynumbers.com/session/ .
Could this be YOU? Would you like to be part of an upcoming issue and contribute an article to the Inner Peace Parenting Magazine? Are you a Parent, Coach, Trainer, Teacher or passionate about making parent’s lives easier with both practical tips and inspirational messages. Let’s hear from you now! The April issue is on Growth & Freedom The June issue is on Conscious Fun Time
The May issue is on Conscious Communication The July issue is on Protecting Your Beloved
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