Inner Peace Parenting October 2013

October 2013, Issue 13

Intelligence A 9 PART VIDEO SERIES ON HOW TO SEE THEIR SMARTS

Heart of Intelligence

Positive Beliefs

W H A T T H E Y SA Y YOU A R E

ACHIEVEMENT PROGRESS

CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS

Believe You Aren’t

A SET FOR SELF ESTEEM

Success Story

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October 2013, Issue 13

CONTENTS

The 9 Intelligences Understand How Smart Your Child Is page # 9

By Diana Dentinger

At the Heart of Intelligence Conscious and Unconscious

page # 6

By Amelia DuRocher

What They Say You Are You Aren’t... Believe Me

page # 13

By Celine Clemence

Intelligences 4, 5, 6 Intelligences 7, 8, 9

page # 15 page # 22

Bt Diana Dentinger

The Power of Positive Beliefs Create a Set for Self Esteem

page # 18

By Leila Youssef

Progress in Achievement A Success Story

page # 25

By Roger Stark 3

FROM THE EDITOR

October 2013, Issue 13

h"p://youtu.be/CqqJb80DWKs

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The Inner Peace Parenting Magazine celebrates it’s first birthday!

WOW has this been an amazing year for me.

I don’t know how tech savvy you are, but I do not consider myself at the top of the charts. So setting up this magazine was a big step ahead for me.

I learned and am still learning about all the tech stuff needed to create and publish this app and all the social media marketing ways to promote it.

How often do you feel like you aren’t smart enough to do something?

Well, what I can share to you is my experience of getting smarter by risking to feel dumb! When you have something that you value or something you feel is so important, you can’t give up because you don’t feel you have all the knowledge or ability!

I had used my tech ignorance as an excuse before to not step up in a bigger, more expansive way.

In parenting it is the same thing. Sometimes we feel stupid. We are afraid to make mistakes. Hey, just get out there, be the best example you can be today for your kids, and then learn a few extra things so you can get better.

You will really feel a boost of confidence!

Thanks for your interest in the magazine and let us know what we can improve and how we can serve you to the max!

Copyright 2012 Diana Dentinger Inner Peace Parenting Magazine Sviluppo CCT sas - Italy All rights reserved under the International and Pan American Copyright Conventions.

Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited without written permission from the publisher.

The publisher assumes no responsibility for the unsolicited materials.

Diana Dentinger, Editor Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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Happy Birthday Celebration from 19 October - 3 November 2013

We’re having a photo contest to say thank you for enjoying the magazine this first year!

Post your kids in Halloween Costumes to wIn great prizes!

See you on the facebook page!

PEACE IN HEART

At the Heart of Intelligence Conscious and Unconscious

By Amelia DuRocher

Intelligence is the ability to acquire and apply knowledge, says the dictionary.

There is a deeper intelligence than what is in your head.

Some call it connection to universe, others a connection to God or intuition.

It’s a connection to our unconscious mind, perhaps even a collective unconscious. I like to call it the heartmind because it seems like that’s where it resides.

The unconscious mind observes, learns and processes so much more every day than your conscious mind will in perhaps a lifetime.

Neurolinguistic programming teaches that your unconscious mind receives 2-4 million bytes of information per second.

Your unconscious is receiving information about every little thing around you; how your right big toe feels, the temperature on your hand, the temperature on your feet, the slight breeze, the odor of the grass, the sound of a faraway bird and much, much more.

Really how often do you know how your right big toe feels unless you just kicked it or are consciously asking yourself? Your unconscious mind knows all the time how your right big toe feels.

After deleting, distorting or generalizing the majority of that information, the conscious mind only receives 134 bytes of that information.

And that 134 bytes is being chunked into bigger pieces for easier processing. That’s really a piddly amount comparatively.

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She locked eyes with this one tall bird.

The bird walked around a pond to the glass, stood directly in front of my daughter for a couple of minutes looking at her eye to eye, then walked right back to where it had been.

It was surreal and magical.

What else is our unconscious mind receiving that we are unaware of?

Do you ever just “feel” something?

That’s likely your unconscious mind trying to make a connection to your conscious mind to tell you something, to guide you.

This is what most of us call intuition.

Do you think our parenting would be different if we could listen to and trust this guidance?

In my experience, when I listen to my heart-mind, I don’t feel as if I could make a bad decision even if that decision makes no sense or seems wimpy to my analytical mind. In looking back, it hasn’t been wrong yet.

Wayne Dyer talks about children having a closer connection to this source before they grow and start “edging God out,” also known as forming an ego.

I could see this in my daughter. When she was still an infant and toddler, she would look at people as if she were looking straight through their eyes and into their heart.

When she was probably 2 or 3 we went to the zoo. She stood at one enclosure that had several different animals in it.

How can we as adults regain that connection? And perhaps more importantly, how can we teach our children to retain that connection?

My children are seven and six (and 1 but I’m not including him in this) and I can already see the connection has lessened.

Perhaps this is one of those lessons our children will learn best by observing in us.

If they watch us make choices based on our intuition, they will learn to trust theirs .

If they watch us quiet our minds to reconnect, they will learn to quiet theirs.

It may take some time; my children are mostly anything but quiet.

We can develop our listening skills by spending time alone in contemplation, spending time in nature, spending time in meditation, or spending time just being in the now; paying attention to all that is around you.

Sometimes if you stop and quiet yourself, the those unconscious messages that gave us an unknowing unease before will come through and bring us peace. Perhaps these messages will offer answers or insights.

Sometimes it takes some patience until the message is ready to be heard.

The Tao Te Ching says: “Do you have the patience to wait ‘til the mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving ‘til the right action arises by itself?” (Trans.

Archie J. Bahm, Frederick Ungar Pub., 1958) 7

Once we do hear that message, once our intuition lets us in on the secret our unconscious mind was whispering, we can take that as a legitimate knowing of truth -- at least truth for us.

Pay attention to coincidences as well.

These coincidences can help ascertain our intuitive feelings. (My mom calls them “non-coincidences” because they are really signs from a greater source.)

If you are feeling extremely unconnected to your unconscious mind there are some actual exercises you can employ to reconnect.

One such exercise is using a pendulum and asking your unconscious mind to answer yes or no based questions for decisions that are within your control.

For more detailed description of how to do this you google “using a pendulum” for more places to go or you can visit www.lovesedona.com/08.htm.

Another method of connecting with your unconscious mind which I learned from an neurolinguistic programming (NLP) class is to use a smooth surface like a credit card or table. To start you want to ask your unconscious mind to show you no and rub your finger along the surface feeling how “no” feels. Then ask it to show you “yes” and feel how “yes” feels on the surface.

One should feel smooth sailing and the other should feel like it gets stopped up along the way. Yes and No feel different to different people so don’t expect it to be one way or the other. Then you can ask other Yes or No questions and feel how it feels while rubbing your finger along the surface to get your answer.

My NLP instructor described how he’s known children who use this method during exams. They know the answer but in the heat of the exam, they cannot think of it. They use this method to get the answer from their unconscious which remembers all.

Take some quiet time on a regular basis so when your unconscious mind comes aknockin’ you’ll hear and be able to open the door to let its message in.

Amelia DuRocher Amelia DuRocher is a mom, coach and children’s book author. Her two award-winning “self-help” children’s books are available from stormandrock.com, and coming soon as ebooks to online retailers.

She blogs at slimmama-parenting.com.

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The 9 Intelligences Discover How Smart Your Child Is

Everyone is naturally smart their own way!

9

1st Intelligence Number Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/1ApMjtpNVCE

Get them out there calculating!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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2nd Intelligence Nature Smarts

Get them out in the fresh air!

h"p://youtu.be/HRi8NP04mQ

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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3rd Intelligence Body Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/l6L0VtZv8hw

Get them out there moving!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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PEACE IN SELF

What They Say You Are You Aren’t... Believe Me!

By Celine Clemence

This summer one of my nieces spent her holidays with my daughter, my husband and I. She is 16 years old and very smart... at least for us.

During one of the many chats we used to have when eating around the table, she burst into tears when I told her she had what it takes to live the life she desires and deserves.

Amazed, I insisted to know what I did wrong, ready to apologize. Her face bathed in tears, she then told me I was making fun of her.

When I told her it wasn’t the case and that I was absolutely sure she had the necessary tools to shape her future, she laughed and said she didn’t believed me.

She continued by telling us she is being continuously told at her place she is stupid, good for nothing, and that for this reason her parents abandoned her.

The truth is that her parents never married. Her mother left ten years ago and leaves abroad where she worked very hard to give her three children a future she didn’t had. My niece and her siblings were left behind to live with their uncle.

The girl is really smart but because of these terrible words she is being nurtured every day and night with, she ended up thinking she is really stupid, and started doing things to make all those people who are putting her down all the times right.

She failed her exams repeatedly during the passed years; she is constantly donating her belongings to her classmates and other people she thinks are “cool and smart and deserve the best things”; she is unable to say “No” when asked to do something because she is dying to be accepted and loved by those who surround her; she almost never speaks when she is with people because she is convinced she is crazy.

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She is going back home in few days. Once there she will be immersed again in that terrible environment and I feel really bad about that because I know the massacre will continue slowly but surely.

And yet I know my niece has what it takes to become a happy and successful woman and leader tomorrow.

During her stay at our place, I saw her move. I saw in her leadership skills.

She also confided and shared her dreams with us. She wants to become a singer.

She had been secretly singing with the only friend she has for years but never broke the news to her family because she knows they will make fun of her.

We watched some of their rehearsals and they are really good.

There is nothing wrong with her if she is assertive (and not “aggressive” as people think and constantly tell her, killing by this her leadership skills).

She is not bossy but a natural leader and we must encourage and nurture this leadership skill.

What the girl needs are not tools her family is providing her with to build her own prison and lock herself inside.

She needs wings to fly. Everyone needs wings to fly!

Let’s offer all our children the gift of watching our words when talking to them because they sure can be destructive weapons.

But, if selected and used appropriately, they can even make miracles happen.

But how to help this beauty to achieve her dreams? By constantly telling her what she badly needs to hear: that she is SMART because she really is and is constantly giving evidence of this.

She successfully passed her exams last year and even received prizes; she is a real chef; she has raised her aunt’s two little kids at her tender age; and has just successfully completed a sewing training course this summer where she sewed beautiful dresses, tops and trousers.

Celine Clemence Celine Clemence MAGNECHE NDE SIKA – Empowering African parents to successfully address today’s parenting challenges. celinesika.wordpress.com Nairobi Kenya - Life skills & Family coach, Social Entrepreneur.

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4th Intelligence Spiritual Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/mZ93XufAMaE

Get them asking!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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5th Intelligence Music Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/sDXHLiKuaew

Get them singing & playing!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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6th Intelligence Word Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/JqGBEuu7MZA

Get them reading & writing!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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PEACE IN BELIEFS

The Power of Positive Beliefs Create a Set for Self Esteem

By Leila Youssef

Today I want to show you how our first beliefs are formed, how you can use this information to instill in your kids positive beliefs about themselves because we all want to have kids with high self-esteem, high self-confident, with high grades at school, don’t we?

Let’s take an example, inspired in the story of a client of mine.

We have a mother who gives birth to a baby boy that has a deformed face.

We all expect that as soon as she sees him she is in shock, it can’t be true, why is this happening to me, what have I done to deserve such a baby.

I should love him, difficult to look at him and love him, Oh My God! Obviously the father also has a similar reaction.

There is probably a mixture of very contradictory emotions and feelings like compassion, repulsion, fear, pain, sorrow, confusion, denial, blame and self-blame, etc.

There is this heavy atmosphere in the room and probably the gynecologist, the nurse and midwife feel a mixture of pity, compassion, uncertainty, impotence and in their heads there is a comments like: “What a life of suffering this “poor boy and this poor family” will have”.

“What a life of suffering this “poor boy and this poor family” will have”.

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Right there and then this boy is absorbing through the environment the seed of his first beliefs: “there is something wrong with me”.

“I am the source of suffering and unhappiness for my parents”.

“The way I look creates suffering for my parents, therefore I reject the way I look”.

This set of beliefs sets the ground for his suffering in life. This is exactly what his parents and the hospital staff projected onto him.

These first beliefs are deeply rooted experiences and they are not mental.

They involve emotions and memories like these and are stored in the body.

Our brain needs 7 years to come to its total mature functioning as we know it.

Everyone around this boy will act and behave according to the fact that he is a poor boy because of his deformed face whose destiny is the life of suffering projected onto him.

This will start adding layers of beliefs that solidify into a reality totally ruled by them. In a way they take control and become his identity and his life.

Because of that, the boy feels loved and protected and the belief that he is the cause of the pain inflicted on his parents increases and takes roots into his personality that is in its early stage of formation.

It creates a sense of burden, as well as a sense of guilt and self-blame.

“If I was not deformed they would be happy and proud of me”.

Do you think that this attitude assist the boy in developing high self-esteem, high self-confidence and guide him to a life of less suffering? Obviously not.

Do you think that this will help him develop his positive side or keep him focused on his disgrace?

This is why he has conflicting feelings towards his parents. On one hand he feels love because of their constant attention and protection but on the other hand he feels rejection and distance because of the burden of overprotection.

In a way he also wishes to be normal or at least treated like normal despite his deformity.

The parents express love by being very protective and they suffer as a means to express their disgrace in life.

Overprotection implies some sort of control as well.

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Parents can shift in that way if they realize that overprotection and suffering are not precisely very helpful to create positive beliefs of high self esteem and self confidence in their boy.

But how can we bring awareness when there is no awareness?

What can parents do to turn this bundle of negative beliefs and emotions around?

1. Recognize that they overprotect him because it is their way of loving him but not necessarily it is all he needs.

-­‐ Develop curiosity and courage to look at yourself. Develop the attitude of the explorer who is curious to learn and discover.

-­‐ Dare to look at the effect your behaviour has on your loved ones.

Are your kids growing in selfesteem, self-confidence or not?

2. Recognize that their suffering is not his suffering and learn to take responsibility of their suffering so the burden he feels is lifted.

-­‐ Challenge your behaviour and your own belief and moral systems?

-­‐ See your kids as the mirror that reflects you in all aspects of your life.

3. Start to put the attention in some of his personal qualities. He is surely much more than just a “poor you little boy with a deformed face”.

-­‐ This will open the doors for true connectivity with yourself and with your kids.

4. Help him use his qualities to become attractive to people despite his deformity.

5. Help him develop skills that give him trust in himself and help his self-esteem to grow.

6. When he goes to school speak with the teachers so they take his vulnerability into account and watch over him so he is not bullied or ridiculed by the “nasty ones” in school. Also support him in defending himself.

Here is an exercise to create awareness: Every night on your bed, just before you sleep take a few moments to revise your day, look at it as a spectator of a movie: the moments of fun, of success, of joy and also the moments of stress, tension, scolding, nervousness, bad temper, challenges at work, etc.

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Observe what takes place in your body while watching that movie.

Breathe deeply and allow any tension that accumulated while watching to move through it and let go of it.

Just let it all out. Don’t try to analyze it, don’t ask yourself: why did I do this?

How come I still do that same mistake?

Just watch, breathe and let it flow through you.

Then ask yourself, as the spectator how differently would you do it?

Then be alert to any signal in the following days that point out to this solution.

Don’t forget that in order for this to work, you have to stop judging and beating on yourself.

Judgement makes you suffer. Who needs that extra bit of suffering? We were not born parents and the book of instructions was not given to us. Please be gentle on yourself, ok?

Best of luck and wish you lots of curiosity and exploration in this wonderful, most challenging adventure of being a parent.

Rewind the movie and do it again with that new perspective or new attitude you discovered as a spectator.

Then ask your subconscious mind to record this new movie during the night, then close your eyes and sleep.

If you can’t find an alternative way because the situation was too complex give an order to your subconscious to give you the solution the next few days.

Leila Youssef Born in the land of Cleopatra, Nefertiti and belly dancing she moved and settled in the land of Flamenco and wine, where she actually lives now.Defying a society that fears, hence suppresses the Feminine Power she succeeded in creating her sexual and financial independency at age 21. http://www.leilayoussef.com/index.php/en/programs/find-yourself 21

7th Intelligence People Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/xQkxyPWXhHE

Get them out there talking!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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8th Intelligence Self Smarts

h"p://youtu.be/P_P0rS-­‐fCxM

Get them out there doin’ their own thing!

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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9th Intelligence Picture Smarts

Get them out there building!

h"p://youtu.be/0RLC9HzfBLg

Inner Peace Parenting Magazine

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PEACE IN BRAINWARE

Progress in Intelligence A Success Story

By Roger Stark

Based on student growth that is far above average according to the school’s 2012 School Progress Report, Manuel Perez Elementary School in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood is a success story.

One of the ways the school has found to boost student achievement is the use of BrainWare SAFARI cognitive skills development software.

Results from the school’s pilot implementation during the 2012-2013 school year showed a significant impact on the reading achievement levels of the school’s 2nd and 3rd Grade students who used BrainWare SAFARI for fourteen weeks.

The 3rd Grade students who used BrainWare SAFARI exceeded their predicted growth in reading by 10 points on average.

This gain was twice the projected growth in their reading scores and 33% greater than the gains for the students who did not use BrainWare SAFARI. 89% of the students who used BrainWare SAFARI met or exceeded their projected growth compared to 76% of the students who did not use the program.

Reading performance for 3rd Grade students was measured using the NWEA MAP test, an adaptive, grade-level assessment aligned to content areas of the state standards.

In the 2nd Grade, all students used BrainWare SAFARI. At the beginning of the year, 36% of the students met the expectations for reading, with 64% performing at the “Below” and “Far Below” levels on the TRC test.

At the end of the year, 68% of the 2nd Grade students had met expectations and were reading at the “Proficient” and “Above” levels. The TRC (Text Reading and Comprehension) test is an individually administered assessment that determines a student’s instructional reading level.

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BrainWare Safari is a software tool that increases students’ capacity to learn by developing underlying cognitive skills in a comprehensive and integrated way.

“On behalf of the whole BrainWare SAFARI team, we congratulate all the students at Perez on their accomplishments.”

In published research, users improved their cognitive ability by an average of over 4 years in 12 weeks of using the program, leading to accelerated gains in academic performance, as was experienced by the students at Manuel Perez Elementary School.

About Manuel Perez Elementary School Manuel Perez Jr. Elementary School is located at 1241 West 19th Street in Pilsen's Lower West Side in Chicago, IL. The school serves approximately 350 students, 100% of whom are low-income.

The student population is 98% Hispanic, with 40% classified as Limited English Learners.

“We are absolutely committed to giving our students every possible advantage and helping them reach the highest levels of academic performance,” said Vicky Kleros, principal of Manuel Perez Elementary School.

“Helping them develop their cognitive skills clearly has played a role in the dramatic academic gains our students made last year. I am thrilled with the data and results we have seen.”

“The gains achieved by the students at Manuel Perez are just one example of the ways Chicago Public Schools use technology to support student learning,” said Doug Van Poppel, VP of Business Development for BrainWare SAFARI.

In 2012-2013, Manuel Perez was awarded a Level 1 rating by Chicago Public schools, the highest rating recognized by the district. Vicky Kleros became the principal of Manuel Perez in the 2009-2010 school year. Previously she was a teacher in the school.

About BrainWare® SAFARI BrainWare SAFARI develops 41 cognitive skills in a comprehensive, integrated and engaging way. The areas of skill development are grouped into six areas: Attention, Memory, Visual Processing, Auditory Processing, Thinking, and Sensory Integration.

BrainWare SAFARI was named one of the Top 100 Products of 2011 by District Administration Magazine, and has earned an impressive array of awards including the Software and Information Industry CODiE Award as Best Education Game or Simulation; a Parents’ Choice Award, a Teachers’ Choice for the Family Award; the Academics’ Choice Mindspring Award; a Mom’s Choice Award; a Distinguished Achievement Award from the Association of Educational Publishers and the Parent Tested Parent Approved Seal of Approval.

Roger Stark Roger Stark is the Founder and CEO of Learning Enhancement Corporation. (Chicago, IL) Learning Enhancement Corporation is a Chicago-based company that develops software combining neuroscience with motivating video-game technology. http://www.mybrainware.com 26

CONTRIBUTORS

October 2013, Issue 13

REACH OUT TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS

Amelia DuRocher writes from the heart based on what she has learned delving into the world of personal growth. She has written two award-winning “self-help” children’s books empowering young minds with positive beliefs to move their lives to new heights as they grow. Amelia is a certified strategic interventionist, aka coach, and has had NLP (neuro-linguistic programing) and leadership training. Most importantly, she is mother to three children. Get her books at: stormandrock.com

Celine Clemence MAGNECHE NDE SIKA – Empowering African parents to successfully address today’s parenting challenges. celinesika.wordpress.com - Nairobi Kenya - Life . skills & Family coach, Social Entrepreneur.

Leila Youssef was born in the land of Cleopatra, Nefertiti and belly dancing then moved and settled in the land of Flamenco and wine, where she actually lives now. Defying a society that fears, hence suppresses the Feminine Power she succeeded in creating her sexual and financial independency at age 21. http://www.leilayoussef.com/index.php/en/programs/find-yourself

Roger Stark is the Founder and CEO of Learning Enhancement Corporation.

(Chicago, IL) Learning Enhancement Corporation is a Chicago-based company that develops software combining neuroscience with motivating video-game technology. http://www.mybrainware.com 27