uKUNST Edition 12

NATIONAL HUMP A SPAD WEEK SIGN UP NOW FOR THE NEW ANNUAL SMUTATHON! in this our transparent and classless society it is ever so heartening to see such a truly and utterly classless act of crass betrayal and moronic lunacy like everyone of course i now consider this matter to be totally closed (like hell) as the evidence is put before lawyers for two divorces it cannot now be in any way opposed if only it had been a more crafty snog and arse clutch away from the human gaze the PPE contracts would still be dished out crookedly the tutting tabloids totally unfazed but now the half man’s cocked-up hand on shapely bum may have put pay to the Cheltenham Ladies Bridge Club’s NHS control not that these lovely over-entitled denizen dames are ever going to end up on the dole in this the already drawn out Johnsonian period Homo Gimpus Erectus is now supreme and rules while Dodonius Gavinorus devours your childrens’ futures and Trussasaurus Vex destroys the availability of food but at least we the people have our simple pleasures left following the lead of our great masters and ministers we can break every rule and every damn social norm in this great Smutathon rampantly fuck on our office desks without it being at all sinister the great Dummings can then hold up the old score cards 8/10 for effort, but you need to work on technique the good news - there’s now a year to work on this new subscribers get it together for summer 2022 with your trousers-down technique and when you’re finally up before the grand show cameras the media asking you for tips on the cunning method in your shafting you can step back into the spotlight for a moment bare your white shiny arse cheeks and say “thanks so much for asking” © The Tittlin Teuchter In a moment of unmoderated disgust on 27 June in this filthy year 2021 National Hump A Spad Week | The Tittlin Teuchter | 15