LIBERTI magazine : Oct / Dec 2014

OCT - DEC 2014 • £3.50

Arianna Walker

Wendy Beech-Ward

What does doing great things for God actually look like?

Antoinette who said you.

Tuff theI lovewoman

Discovering generosity

Sunshine and scars

Battling with self-harm

Superheroes:

Child survivors of sexual assault.

Dreaming of a white inspirational ideas for the festive season.

Entertainment • Fashion • Health • Interviews • Movies • Shopping • Sex • Travel • TV

2 thousand years ago

JESUS

went out of his way

Honour, Restore and Release women He still Does. to



It’s time to RING THE BELL for women to live in freedom.

W

e have a dream to reach women all over the country with the liberating message that Jesus is good news for women; we’d love you to help us.

Will you become a LIBERTI BELLE and actively promote the vision and values of Liberti Magazine.

• • • • •

Become a subscriber. Every subscription enables us to give copies of Liberti away to women in the armed forces, women in refuges and women in prisons.

Become an ambassador. Tell the women in your church about us and encourage them to subscribe too.

Become a distributor. Buy a bumper box of 50 magazines for just £50 to give away to the women in your community.

Become a sponsor. Take out a subscription for a girl who needs to discover release for herself.

Become a prayer supporter. Sign up to receive regular emails so that you can pray for us as we determine to take this Liberti news to more and more women. © Dule964 | Dreamstime.com

Liberti

www.libertimagazine.com 6

Autumn 2014

© Dule964 | Dreamstime.com

24 LIBERTI features 2 6 S u n s hin e a nd s cars

Battling with self-harm

3 3 A n t oinette Tuff

Exclusive interview with the woman who said ‘I love you’

4 0 E a t P ra y S ki

From beginner to black run in 7 days

LIBERTI living 19 Exerci se

6

20 Li f ecoach

8 Gr e e n Ch r ist m as

24 Leadershi p

1 3 A pp A le r t

62 Fi nance

1 4 Ch e c k o u t Gadg e t s

5

Fi rs t W ord

59 A t t h e Cin e m a

LIBERTI faith 10 IJM - Superheroes o f Guatemal a

17 G re e n mu m 7 0 Las t Word

W h it e Ch r ist m as

57 M u sic t o o u r e ar s

5 1 Fa i t h a nd F emin is m

LIBERTI women

LIBERTI culture

43 A word i n Season - Wel come

© iStock | various

45 Bah H umbug!

65 Bac k t o N o r m al

51

CONTENTS OCTOBER - DECEMBER 2014

45

STEVE

LEGG 25th Anniversary Tour

International baffler and funny guy

C

M

Y

Just perfect for your next After-Dinner, Alpha meal, Cabaret, Family Service and Fun Day

CM

MY

CY

MY

K

Don’t miss him!

EDITOR

Bekah Legg

bekah@libertimagazine.com

MARKETING & ADVERTISING

Duncan Williams

MARKETING & ADVERTISING

Fiona Hinton

DESIGN

Tina Grobler

williamspublishing@yahoo.com

fiona@hintonmediaservices.com

tina@pegasusgraphics.co.uk

PRINT

Halcyon

DISTRIBUTION

COMAG

CONSULTING EDITOR FOR SCM

www.halcyonline.co.uk

Steve Legg

steve@libertimagazine.com

© Liberti Magazine 2014 Liberti is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement.

SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpoe of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984.

Liberti is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

CONTACT Liberti Magazine PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 Email: bekah@libertimagazine.com

www.libertimagazine.com FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

BOOK NOW! for your next event steve@breakout.org.uk | 01903 732190 SteveLeggUK | www.stevelegg.com

Liberti Magazine FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK

Liberti Magazine DOWNLOAD THE APP

Liberti Magazine PPA Member

FIRST WORD:

Surrounded by greatness

Liberti works because I have an amazing team. Sometimes people ask me how I manage to produce a magazine when I work four days a week for another organisation, have five girls living at home and a husband who travels. I have to be honest: I don’t. I have the most incredible, gifted team around me who do.

I have writers like Emma, Cathy and Sue who are full of wit and insight, leaders like Wendy and Arianna who don’t just write their wisdom down in articles but share it with me and help me grow. I have financial experts, movie buffs and Tina; the best designer an editor could ask for. I’ve surrounded myself with brilliance because it makes Liberti shine.

At the end of the day that is what matters; it matters that Liberti gets out into the world and makes a difference to the women who read it. It matters that women are inspired to find freedom and reach their God-given potential. Whether people even know I’m involved is irrelevant.

So, meet my brilliant team and be inspired.

And never be afraid to champion those around you.

Bekah Bekah Legg | EDITOR BekahLegg

Editors choice;  For such a time as this (pg33), Antoinette Tuff, the woman who said I love you.  Faith and Feminism (pg51), a man’s perspective.  Superheroes (pg10) The Guatemalan Survivors of Sexual Assault.

BEKAH LEGG

I don’t get it because it doesn’t make sense. I go with the opposite approach, and I think it works. I figure that if I surround myself with great people, some of it is going to rub off on me. And it can’t fail to get a great job done.

letter from the editor

T

he world is a funny place. Not funny-ha-ha (although often it is), but funny-I-don’t-get-it (because I don’t). I have come across so many brilliant people who don’t get positions they deserve, whilst others appear to have been promoted above their gifting. It can be for all manner of reasons, but the one reason that I struggle with and which is absolutely, NEVER, funny-ha-ha, is because their ‘superiors’ feel threatened by their abilities. I just don’t get it.

Dreaming of a White Christmas Snuggled up in front of a cosy fire, eating freshly roasted chestnuts, and sipping heart warming mulled wine... only thing left is to sing “Let it snow.”

LIBERTI

culture Tesco Candle Holder, £12.

Swirl Candle, £4.50, Tealight Holder, £3.50, Xmas Tree Candle, £3.50, Tealight Holder, £5. Snowflake Bauble, £4 for 4, Candle Jar, £6.

All items are available from Tesco www.tesco.com/christmas

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£4.99

Dobbies Natural Garland 1m (star) A really well designed, good looking and highly practical piece of kitchen furniture.

From: Tesco www.dobbies.com

£3.99

culture

Dobbies Hanging Pine Cone Finish Heart From: Tesco www.dobbies.com

£10.00

LIBERTI

Gisela Graham Ceramic Nativity Tea Light Holder.

16cm x 14cm From: The Contemporary Home www.tch.net

£8.00 £24.99

Dobbies White Porcelain Light Up Cone From: Tesco www.dobbies.com

Wood & Gingham Christmas Garland. Each letter is 8cm tall.

From: The Contemporary Home www.tch.net

£35.00

Laura Ashley 3 Sparkle Candles From: Laura Ashley www.lauraashley.com

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Going Green at Christmas



Fairtrade gift ideas sure to make this Christmas a special one.

 LIBERTI

culture

 

 Green Gift Ideas;  Double sided hanging picture frame. Small - £10, Medium - £13, Large - £17.

From: Decorator’s Notebook  White Distressed Photograph Frame - £18.95 From: One Brown Cow  Metal bird wall hooks £3.50 each. Available in matt grey, rust brown or distressed white paint. From: Here and Far



 Fairtrade earthenware slanting jug - £16.95. From: rigby & mac  Recycled Tin VW Beetles - £6.99. Handmade in Madagascar from old tin cans. There may be sharp edges so not suitable for children. From: Here and Far  Bike Chain Square Clock - £15.00. From: Here and Far

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Fairtrade Decorations  

 Once Upon a Time Handmade Nutcracker Soldier Crochet Toy - £24.99.

From: Cloth-ears.co.uk  Picture frame Christmas decoration - set of 6 - £24.95. From: Decorator’s Notebook  20mSari ribbon bobbins - £12.95 each.

From: Decorator’s Notebook  Snow White - Christmas Tin containing 4 large snowflakes and 12 medium sized snowflakes - £29.99. From: Biscuit Village Ltd  Christmas stockings made from vintage saris - £22.00. From: Decorator’s Notebook

LIBERTI

culture







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9

Superheroes:The Guatemalan Survivors of Sexual Assault

LIBERTI

faith Gary Haugen and a group of U.S. supporters greet all of the children at the beginning of the Hero Ceremony.

Throughout the developing world, the threat of violence is part of everyday life for the poor. It’s as much a part of poverty as hunger, disease or homelessness. And the poorest are so poor because their justice systems don’t protect them from violent people.

This reality was proven true for 24 girls and boys in Guatemala - each child a survivor of sexual violence that brutally stripped them of their childhood. But for each of them, their story differed from the norm in one crucial way: they were able to make their voice heard so that justice can be proven possible.

In August 2014, these two dozen boys and girls gathered with family members in International Justice Mission’s office in Guatemala. They had come from all across the city, most dressed in clothes they usually reserve for church. Because they were about to experience an incredible day – an event in which they got to feel like the heroes that they are.

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The IJM Guatemala team created the ‘Hero Ceremony’ as a formal way to commemorate the bravery that children show throughout their trials and hold similar ceremonies throughout the year.

During the ceremony to honour them, each girl and boy received recognition for this bravery and a pin that says “I am a hero”.

IJM President, Gary Haugen, explained the significance of the pin. “You are heroes to us for two reasons. One: You are brave and you are capable of doing very brave things. Though you’ve experienced fear and difficulties, you are able to do the right thing. Two: We would like to be more like you. People look at superheroes and they see power and courage, and when I look at you, I see superheroes.”

The ceremony makes sure each child gets the chance to stand up and be celebrated for telling the truth. In a culture where sexual violence is rampant but rarely discussed, these kids are true examples of courage. And it is humbling to think that these children can have such courage. As Gary reflected after the ceremony, “They have

© iStock | Guenter Guni

In recent months, these children - some as young as four - had made the incredibly brave choice to testify in court and share the truth about the sexual assault they suffered from neighbours,

stepfathers, coaches and others who abused their relationships of trust and authority.

come from places of darkness and humility, but look us in the eyes with such life and joy.”

IJM have helped thousands of survivors see justice secured with their perpetrators convicted. For these children, their courageous act has provided critical evidence so that those who abused can also be held to account. IJM also walk alongside survivors as they heal from the abuse, and each of these children continues to receive traumafocused therapy from IJM’s social workers and psychologists.

LIBERTI

faith

IJM is a global organisation that protects the poor from violence throughout the developing world. IJM partners with local authorities to rescue victims of violence, bring criminals to justice, restore survivors and strengthen justice systems. The largest organisation of its kind, IJM combats slavery, sex trafficking, rape, police brutality, property grabbing and other forms of violence in nearly 20 communities throughout Africa, Latin America, South Asia and Southeast Asia.

Find out more about IJM at www.IJMUK.org.

One of the little boys receives his pin that says “soy un héroe” (I am a hero).

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WITH SONGS THAT INSPIRE TO DANCE AND REFLECT IN EQUAL MEASURE THIS IS AN ALBUM THAT EXPRESSES THE FEELING OF FASCINATION AND EXALTATION PERFECTLY.

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Buy at:

Autumn 2014

and your Local Christian Bookshop

{app} alert

by SUE RINALDI

SAY CHEESE!

More than just a way of transforming smartphone photos and videos by applying filter effects, you are invited into the gregarious world of sharing those precious and peculiar moments with friends and family as well as connecting with other people’s creativity. Unlimited uploads, interactive elements and custom features have already been snapped up by over 200 million users - so what are you waiting for?

Released free for iOS and Android

Afterlight Perfect image editing in a simple, straightforward way with unique adjustment tools, filters, textures, frames, cropping and transforming elements in abundance. Includes high-quality presets, trend-setting light leaks and the opportunity to tag on instagram.

This splendidly featured app is receiving a rousing noise of approval.

Released for iOS £0.69 with Android coming soon

Snapseed Google’s very own photo-editing app is a high performer. Enhance, transform and share with the ease of a professional as you tweak and adjust by tuning the image, single tap the auto-correct, apply filters like grunge, drama and vintage and choose frames – all to your hearts delight. Enjoyable and pleasingly tactile - this is one you will lurve!

Released free for iOS and Android, Mac and Windows desktop.

Facetune In the age of the selfie, a photo-editor for faces is an absolute must! Enhance your skin, teeth and smile, emphasise your lips and eyes, reshape your facial expressions and structure, remove blemishes and dark circles, thicken your hair, add or subtract focus and ultimately, spice up the end result into a stunning portrait. Time to get transformed methinks…and they used to say the camera never lies!

Available for iOS, Android and Windows Phone from £1.99

Touchretouch Fast, flexible and easy to use, all blemishes and unwanted objects vanish from your photo using your finger. Learn to lasso and brush to erase imperfections, clone stamp content and share your masterpieces via email and social networks.

A free version gives you the taste but comes with a watermark on each retouched image.

Released for iOS, Android £0.69 and Samsung Galaxy £1

SUE RINALDI

Instagram

{app} alert

Perspective, composition, focus and filters are no longer tricks and techniques out of reach for the casual photographer, thanks to the vast array of editing apps available. So get ready to click and collect and trip the light fantastic as we look through the lens to find the best of the batch and learn how to turn our snapshots into works of art….

ON THE ROAD

Technology is radically re-designing the way we get around. A few years ago, the thought of a car driving itself or even the pedal emancipation of a power-assisted bicycle would have sent us into ripples of laughter and gasps of unbelief, but experience tells us that anything stranger than fiction can soon become so ordinary and routine, we barely break into a fidget…

LOOK, NO HANDS - GOOGLE SELFDRIVING CAR

DRIVE

{gadgets}

SUE RINALDI

CHECK OUT:

The king of the digital super-highway is seeking to conquer our physical highways by designing autonomous vehicles. They are electric with a maximum speed of 25mph, no steering wheel - just a start/stop button and screen. They have no brake or accelerator pedals, but they do have two seats, a small amount of luggage space and look like they have come straight from cartoon-world, a bit like a Smart car crossed with a Nissan Micra.

The car is summoned by smartphone to the users location, and once inside, the screen becomes a personal chauffeur, driving passengers to their chosen destination.

Inbuilt sensors and software will recognise objects, people, cars, road marking, signs and traffic lights, obeying the rules of the road and allowing for multiple unpredictable hazards, including cyclists.

It can even detect road works and safely navigate around them.

In the early stages, this car is meant to operate more like a taxi than a replacement for personal vehicles.

Availability and cost - TBA

LOOK, NO PEDAL-FATIGUE – VOLT METRO FOLDING ELECTRIC BIKE

CYCLE

Bikes have seriously smartened-up to become a leader in must-have gadgets. The Volt Metro is light, foldable and packs-a-punch, offering a comfortable ride even against strong winds and a 250-Watt promise of taking you up any hill.

Spoilt for choice, this bike boasts 5 speed settings with an ability to cruise without pedalling, plus the rider can choose how quickly or slowly their bike accelerates. A top speed of 15.5 mph will do nicely, and all riding data, especially the all-important battery power info, is illustrated via an LCD screen. A fully charged battery will give between 40-60 miles of effort-free cycling and obviously you can choose to ride au-natural, but that is so old-school!

Available www.voltbikes.co.uk from £1149

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RUN

LIGHT

SUE RINALDI

Welcome to the Garmin Connect community and join countless others sharing fitness data collected from their easy-to-use GPS smartwatch. Available in 5 colour designs, it tracks distance, pace, heart rate (when paired with a heart rate strap), calories and monitors your personal time and distance achievements. It also reminds you when it’s time to move if you’ve been sitting down too long. Oops, mine’s beeping right now!

Become your ambient best with Wi-Fi enabled, colour-changing lightbulbs. The starter pack includes 3 bulbs, a Hue bridge and cables and once you’ve downloaded the free app, you can colour your world according to the weather, the menu or the guests! App includes presets and timer functions and it’s easy to add additional bulbs.

Available at www.philips-shop.co.uk £179.99

Available at Amazon from £105 LISTEN RECORD

KITSOUND POCKETBOOM XB – BLUETOOTH SPEAKER Hi! MAGNETIC VOICE RECORDER Paper memos can get lost, torn or waterdamaged. Instead, record your 10 second reminder to empty the bins, groom the canary or walk the dog onto a blue or red 9cm x 6cm x 1cm soft silicone magnet and stick it somewhere unmissable!

Easy to record and a pulsing light identifies message.

Available at www.firebox.com - £12.95

PocketBoom XB boasts a big sound from its built-in bass boost technology giving deep, rich tones and its passive radiator which emits huge bass from underneath. This big sound is cased within an ultra-portable speaker and Bluetooth connectivity means no cumbersome wires. With easy pairing to Bluetooth-enabled devices, automatic standby mode and a long-lasting rechargeable lithium battery with a music playtime of up to five hours…..what is there not to like?

Available in 5 colours at www.kitsound.co.uk - £39.99

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CHECK OUT:

GARMIN FORERUNNER 15

{gadgets}

PHILIPS HUE

Later, he of the venomous bladder claims it was vinegar, NOT oppressing the household with public peeing and offensive fumes but testing a green cleaning method he’s found on the web: half a bottle of vinegar, down the loo, left overnight and HEY PRESTO, with a scrub of a brush, all that vile yellow scale will miraculously disappear.

Like watching David Copperfield, I’m sceptical.

method of unblocking pipes. Never did we go to the shop and buy an ominous-looking bottle of super fast sink-unblocker adorned with more death’s heads than a Goth’s bedroom. If the plunger failed Dad simply unscrewed the trap and gave it a rinse. No plumbers, no poison, no poorly poisson.

greenmum

There’s a noxious smell drifting down the stairs. I go investigate and find the Other Half standing in front of the toilet bowl with the door open composing trickle music. ‘Gross!’ I shout. ‘Shut the DOOR!’ and stomp downstairs again muttering ‘drink more water’ and ‘toxic waste’.

EMMA GREENWOOD

greenmum: D’you want vinegar with that?

Fast forward forty years (eek) and consumers would rather squirt a stream of nose stripping toxin down the waste pipes than check out a Videojug on YouTube, get a bucket, bend down and unscrew a pipe; no one wants to get their hands dirty.

No plumbers, no poison, no poorly we are getting our hands dirty poisson. But aren’t we? In the Pontius Pilate sort

Come morning though, the u bend is dazzling and there follows a burst of further cleaning adventures by the newly titled greenman: ground egg shells and baking soda for scrubbing pans; essential oil in water for air freshener; lemon juice instead of laundry bleach.

And a plunger!

© iStock | digitalr

In the Seventies, we had a plunger under the sink, covered in dust and housing a spider.

Its brickred rubber mouth was Dad’s sure-fire

of way. What we put down the sink ends up in our rivers. Household cleaners compromise aquatic life.

Elbow grease is biodegradable. So is vinegar.

The only thing our fishy friends have to fear from a bottle of your chip shop’s best is when it’s accompanied by chips.

@emmajgreenwood Emma Greenwood is the Green Columnist and Fashion Editor at Liberti magazine. She joined Greenpeace protests aged 8 and has been wearing pre-loved vintage chic since she was 14. She eats the end of the cucumber, boycotts slave-chocolate and restricts meat to weekends. When she’s not writing for Liberti, she writes fiction for young adults and has mentorships with two publishing houses. Emma is married to comedy guy Mark Greenwood and has two young crazy-girl children.

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LIBERTI

classifieds Fit For MiNiStrY There’s a world to win. Is God calling you to play a key role in reaching it?

With full time and part time BA programmes specialising in leadership, mission and crosscultural ministry as well as biblical studies and theology, Mattersey Hall is the best place to discover and refine your gifts and to be equipped for serving God in the 21st century.

Call for a prospectus today on 01777 817663 or see our website.

tians Motivating Chris to be fit for God The Christian Fitness Company Fitfish is a unique and exciting initiative inspiring, motivating and enabling Christians to be physically, spiritually and emotionally fit for God.

ats

Mattersey Hall, Retford Road, Mattersey DN10 5HD, England, UK t:01777 817663 e: office@matterseyhall.com

Weekend Retre

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Inspiring Fitness Weekends - optional fun exercise sessions, nutrition workshop, life coaching, consultations, prayer, worship, ministry, nature, beauty, space……

Winter Retreat A snowy mountain retreat right next to the slopes for those who ski and those who don’t. Just an hour from Salzburg airport

LocalFit Find Christians in your area who offer exercise classes, nutrition, personal training, coaching, counselling, massage, therapy and ministry..

The Fitfish team is made up of: REPs Advanced personal trainers and Nutritional advisers. International coach federation life coaches.

Chartered and clinical psychologists. CWR and NHS Counsellors.

National and international ministry leaders.

See www.fit-fish.co.uk for more details and to book

fitness

GAYNOR BURTON

Plan a Future You How often do you think about the future? Do you dream about what your family will be doing? Who you will marry? Where you want to go on your next holiday? The path that God has for you? Heaven? Goals? Ambitions?

We often project ourselves into the future to spur us on with our current tasks and routine: studying for exams to achieve a certain career path, putting up with pregnancy and labour in order to have a family, struggling to save money to buy a house, working hard in order to buy food.

But, do you do this with your health?

How would you want your older self to be?

What would you want to enjoy and be able to do? Would you want to be enjoying a travelling lifestyle? Playing with grand or great grandchildren? Serving God in a variety of settings?

Of course, only God knows our future and the days ordained for us. But He still gives us responsibility and choices.

© iStock | Illya_Vinogradov

What if better choices now really did help to lead to a better, healthier life then? If a regular 30 minutes now, really did help us with our goals then? If better food now, really did help us to achieve more then?

What would you do differently if you could see the direct impact of your choices now in your older self?

Perhaps you would: • Do more weight-bearing exercise to strengthen your bones and prevent that future break from a small fall.

• Develop a stronger core so that you wouldn’t trip and fall as easily over that step.

• Stay fit enough to recover well from a later operation.

• Use your muscles more so that you could pick up your grandchildren.

• Carry heavy weights properly so that you didn’t injure your back.

• Get breathless for 30 minutes a few times a week so that you could do that weekly walk with a group of new friends.

• Daily eat mostly natural foods to avoid daily tablets.

Is your future you worth looking after now?

Gaynor Burton is the founder of Fitfish, a Christian fitness organisation that helps people find a balance between the physical, spiritual and emotional. Retreats, recipes and the organisation’s popular ‘Your Plate of Plenty’ personalised eating plan are all things that Gaynor is massively passionate about. She loves seeing lives changed! Follow Fitfish on Twitter: @FitfishTweets.

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The Christmas season and the end of another year invite us to reflect. For some, that sounds like even more lifecoach

HEIKE PRENTICE

pressure and wishful thinking.

Instead of entering a season of tranquillity and peace, they are heading for a season of plenty; more expense, more cooking, more visitors, more eating and drinking, more of just about everything. And definitely less tranquillity and peace.

So, rather than try and conjure up something, which may seem difficult and forced, let’s look at reflection differently. Simply take a look around you, because moments of reflection are everywhere.

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REFLECTIONS

Lifecoach:

Those colourful, shiny, sparkling baubles on trees reflect fairy lights, candlelight and the light of a roaring fire. If you look closer, you can see amusingly distorted reflections of yourself or your surroundings in them.

Having put them up, grab a cuppa, sit and simply enjoy looking at them.

Eyes

lifecoach

If you have family and friends round for the festivities, or you are invited to celebrate with others, really take the time to look into people’s eyes.

Eyes reflect so much about a person, if you look closely you will find pain and joy and see a story untold. And if you look even closer, you will see yourself too.

HEIKE PRENTICE

SNOITCELFER

Ornaments

Mirrors

Whether you love or dread them, you will most likely pass a mirror from time to time. Stop for a moment to love yourself, to encourage yourself for all you have done and for simply being there. And if you usually make critical comments about yourself, how about deciding to take this Christmas season to say something good and respectful to the reflection in the looking glass, she deserves it.

Stars

The Bible tells us to shine like stars in a dark world (Phil 2,15). The sun is a source of light, the moon just reflects the light, it doesn’t produce it.

All you have to do is make sure there is nothing between you and Jesus, so that His light can shine on you. If you allow that to happen, His light reflecting off you will bless others.

Jesus

The Bible says that Jesus is the exact representation of the Father, that He is the radiance of His glory. Jesus shows us the Father, His character, His essence perfectly. If you want to know more about God, get to know Jesus. Maybe for the first time, maybe again, seeing Him with fresh eyes.

And let Him take you into the New Year, into a new adventure with Him. So whether this time is calm or chaotic, there will be moments of reflections to admire baubles, to look into people’s eyes, to stop in front of the mirror and most of all, to look at Jesus.

Heike Prentice is a direction and leadership development coach and currently exploring ordination in the Church of England. She likes to think through new ideas, concepts and strategies and believes it’s important to have a laugh!

Contact Heike: coaching@heikeprentice.com

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SAM, FROM CARDIFF,

*Names and faces have been changed to protect identities.

COMPASSION UK CHRISTIAN CHILD DEVELOPMENT 43 High Street, Weybridge, Surrey KT13 8BB Registered Charity No. 1077216 Registered in England No. 3719092

Poverty had taught Koki* she had no value. Her next door neighbour raped her. The police told her she couldn’t be trusted. Her village were angry that she disturbed the peace.

TOLD KOKI* “I’M HERE FOR YOU” Koki’s life changed when Sam sponsored her for £25 a month.

She learned to smile again because her local project gave her the support she needed. She goes to school and gets regular health checks and counselling. She treasures the letters and pictures she receives from Sam that tell her she is never alone.

There’s a child like Koki waiting for you to sponsor them.

Will you tell a child I’m here for you?

TRANSFORM A CHILD’S LIFE TODAY

01932 836490

COM100660

www.compassionuk.org

leadership

WENDY BEECH-WARD

Relentless obedience

There’s a lot written, and even more said, in Christian circles about how God wants ‘to do big things with your life’. I’ve always felt that phrases like these are odd because I can’t really see ideas like that in the bible. I also struggle with the underlying inference that ‘doing big things’ always leads to influence, prestige and power.

I’ve met lots of people who claim that God is going to ‘do big things’ with them. This excites me, but often when I speak to them, their big thing seems to be somehow linked to their own personal profile and ambitions.

Conversations like this always leave me feeling sad because it makes me think that we’re really missing the point. I don’t think speaking on the main stage at an event or having lots of Twitter followers is

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necessarily a healthy thing to aspire to.

I had an interesting personal experience of this when I met one of my former church leaders. We hadn’t seen each other for years and he proceeded to tell me how ‘proud he and the church were of me, because of all the significant things I’d done.’

He said this with all the best intentions but if I’m honest it left me cold.

I know that sounds terribly ungrateful; it just felt strange to be told that because I’d had the privilege - because that’s what it is - to work with some national Christian organisations that I’d ‘done significant things.’ Obviously, it was great to be told that my church were proud of me. But what worries me is that we slip into thinking that the wrong things are important. I’ve done the jobs I’ve done because God called me to do them. If being obedient had meant I had been

leadership

WENDY BEECH-WARD

a road-sweeper (as one of my teachers predicted I’d be), then that’s significant in God’s sight, because he looks at the obedience not the outcome.

When I was at Spring Harvest I used to remind people who were new to speaking on the main platform to keep the importance of it in perspective; that it was just 35 minutes of their life, no more no less. It’s so easy for us to get caught up in the moment and start thinking that platform or profile is important.

© iStock | milos-kreckovic

Please hear me, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be ambitious and motivated. In fact one of my favourite quotes is: ‘Visionaries are possessed people, men and women in the thrall of belief so powerful that they ignore all else to ensure that reality catches up with their dreams.’

I think we should do the very best we can to serve Jesus and relentlessly pursue obedience to him. My concern is that when this gets mixed up and our approach becomes more about actually serving ourselves than serving God or others.

I’m a big, big fan of social media but I don’t think it helps in this regard. It is easy to become a little too selfabsorbed and borderline narcissistic on this. The obsession with selfies is a classic example. In effect, selfies place me/us at the centre of any and every event that is

happening. And candidly, that’s not a helpful way of viewing the world or your own life.

Mother Teresa once said: “Not all of us can do great things.

But we can do small things with great love.” She’s totally right; we are not called to pursue significance, influence, prestige or powerful positions.

We are all called to do ‘small things with great love’ and to be satisfied with where that leads us.

Wendy Beech-Ward is the Events and Ambassadors Director at Compassion UK. She is passionate about justice; equality, leadership and seeing people fulfill their God given potential. She always wears Converse.

You can follow her on Twitter: @wendybeechward

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Sunshine and Scars

by EMMA SCRIVENER

Most of us love the sunshine. My husband is no exception. The merest hint of a sunbeam and he’s outside, charging after tennis balls, singing and muttering about cricket. It’s like a disease. And were it not for my total commitment to darkness and misery, I might be tempted to join in. (But I’m Northern Irish.

So I fight it).

© iStock | MeliaMuse

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remember the stares. The questions. The concern. ‘What happened?’ ‘Did you do this to yourself?’ And you don’t have answers. So you keep your arms and your feelings under wraps.

If you are feeling selfconscious about your scars, then remember you do not have to be ashamed of them, and you don’t have to cover them. Many people have experience with self-harm, and even those who don’t can have understanding and empathy for what you have been through. If you feel able to, you can explain that they were a way of coping at a time when things were hard. Or you can simply say they were from a while ago, and you don’t want to discuss them. If you feel very self-conscious, there are ways of making them less obvious.

These include over the counter creams, or using ‘camouflage’ make-up, which has been specially designed for this purpose. There are also surgical options and or tattoos to help cover them.

I envy the cat. And I envy my husband too. Years of wrestling with an eating disorder have left me with a body for which I’m grateful, but still slightly uncomfortable. I guess (outside of ‘Embarrassing Bodies’), there’s not much opportunity to see what other women, real women look like. It’s all too easy to compare yourself to airbrushed models, actresses or celebrities and conclude you’re somehow substandard.

But there are other factors that make us body-conscious, especially in the heat. I’m talking about scars. Not just the little ones, from when your brother pushed you into the rose-bush. The big ones, crisscrossing your arms and wrists like a map of the underground. Angry red and purple weals, some ancient and others fresh.

© iStock | PhotoEuphoria

Generally you keep them covered. Wristbands, jewellery, scarves and long sleeves. But you feel them, burning below the surface. A flush that spreads to your neck and your face. And in the sunshine, when your skin’s prickling under the fabric, you long to let them breathe. Friends comment: ‘aren’t you too warm?’ Your parents offer to buy you some T-shirts. And for a moment, you’re tempted. But you

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I do see his point though. A small part of me thrills to the prospect of stripping off and basking in the sun-buttered heat – throwing dignity and socks to the wind and indulging in the sheer joy of being bodily.

(As I write, our cat is doing just this: basking in a pool of orange dust without even a hint of self-consciousness).

Years of wrestling with an eating disorder have left me with a body for which I’m grateful, but still slightly uncomfortable

Whatever you decide, remember: not everyone has scars, but everyone has secrets.

And everyone has things of which they feel ashamed. It’s hard when they’re written on your body, but you’re not weird and you’re not on your own.

These marks are a reminder of a time when things were- or are - hard, but they’re also a reminder that you’re strong and have come through. We follow a scarred Saviour and He covers our shame.

For more info on dealing with scarring check out: www.changingfaces.org.uk

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You don’t have answers. So you keep your arms and your feelings under wraps.

Understanding Self-Harm: WHO? • 1 in 12 UK adolescents selfharm on a regular basis – highest rate in Europe • 10% of 15-16 year olds have self-harmed (usually by cutting) • 50% of 15-21 young people know someone who selfharms.

• Girls are four times more likely to SH than boys.

• Most aged between 11-25.

WHAT?

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Includes: cutting (most common), self-poisoning, burning, scalding, scratching, biting, scraping, taking dangerous substances, hitting, hair-pulling, head-banging, breaking bones. It can also take a broader form such as taking unnecessary risks, staying in abusive relationships, anorexia/bulimia, alcohol or drug abuse.

Sometimes the first incident

happens by accident, or after seeing or hearing of others who engage in selfinjury. Someone may harm themselves because they feel overwhelmed and don’t know how else to deal with things.

It’s usually a very private issue, and motivations and methods will differ from one person to another.

Before SH, sufferers have overwhelming feelings that feel unacceptable. These build up and without a way expressing them directly, SH provides a feeling of release. This is followed by guilt and shame – which makes them more likely to turn again to SH for relief.

They may need to go further each time or develop rules or rituals around their SH.

© iStock | ArishaRay

Intentional injury to your own body, usually without suicidal intent. Self-harm (SH) is often a way for people to

cope with difficult emotions or situations, and it can be a means of communicating what they cannot put into words or even into thoughts. It may also be a way of releasing painful emotions such as shame, rage, sadness, emptiness, guilt or fear.

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Information for sufferers Remember, you’re not alone - and help is available.

Questions to ask yourself when you’re at the point of self-harming: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has happened to make me feel like this?

Have I felt like this before? What did I do to deal with it? How did my feelings change?

How am I feeling right now?

How will I feel when I am self-harming?

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

Questions to think about in terms of recovery: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

Do I want to stop?

Do I have friends, family, and/or professionals that I can use if I feel like hurting myself?

Are there at least two people I can call if I want to hurt myself?

What else can I do instead of hurting myself? (see sites below for some examples of alternatives) Have I stopped myself from self-harming in the past? If so, what has helped?

Can I think of a place to go if I need to leave the house so as not to hurt myself?

Can I get rid of the things I hurt myself with?

Can I tell someone else that I want to stop self-harming?

If you’re ready to stop, you’ll feel scared and angry and frustrated when you don’t self-harm.

That’s why you’ll need people and strategies to help support you.

Here are some places that can help: www.selfharm.co.uk www.selfharm.net www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm www.selfharm.org.uk

© iStock | jckelly

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Information for carers: www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk - Information and advice with list of support groups across the UK. www.emmascrivener.net – my blog: range of articles on identity and mental health.

Self-harm is not someone else’s struggle. It’s not a strange practice for the unhinged. I say that because some seem baffled at self-injury and yet... it’s in us all. We might not pick up a blade or drink bleach but all of us know what it is to sabotage ourselves. Whether it’s eating that food we know is bad for us, calling that person we know will hurt us, entering that relationship we know is trouble.

Next time you’re late and can’t find your mobile, just monitor the language you use of yourself.

“Stupid! Idiot! Why can’t I just..!” What do you call that? I call it self-harm. Of a sort. And we all know what it’s like.

Those who pick up a blade need more urgent help, but all of us can understand. And I hope we’ll take the time to do that because someone you know is suffering. And probably in silence.

If you want to help someone who self-harms, here are some things to remember:

We follow a scarred Saviour and He covers our shame.

• Acknowledge your own feelings. You may feel shocked, confused, or even disgusted by selfharming behaviours—and guilty about admitting these feelings. But it’s important that you deal with these and don’t put them on to the sufferer, who already feels ashamed and guilty.

• Offer support, not ultimatums. Express your concern and let the person know that you’re available whenever he or she wants to talk or needs support.

• Encourage communication. Help your loved one to express whatever he or she is feeling, even if it’s something you might be uncomfortable with. If the person hasn’t told you about the selfharm, bring up the subject in a caring, non-confrontational way: “I’ve noticed injuries on your body, and I want to understand what you’re going through.” Encourage openness on the fact that they struggle, but do not encourage fascination with the acts involved.

• Know your own limits: Accept that being involved with someone who self-harms will have an impact on you. With the help of another, work out what level of support you can offer and what support you will need to do this. This might mean encouraging them to make an appointment with their GP (and going with them if they want to), or asking them to consider talking to a counsellor about why they are hurting themselves and how to stop.

• Set, and keep, appropriate boundaries. This can be a long-term issue, and appropriate boundaries will help you care better, for longer.

• Include Jesus in their struggle – can they talk to Him about it? Can they let you talk to Him about it with them? Remind them that they are not condemned, but that He loves them and is for them, even though they may not feel it.

• Learn more about it (see links on previous page) Emma Scrivener was born in Belfast, but now lives with her husband in the south east of England.

She suffered from life-threatening anorexia, both as a child and as an adult. She now writes and speaks about her experiences and how the grace of Christ speaks in the darkest places. She’s currently working on her second book and the first, ‘A New Name’ is published by IVP. Emma blogs at www.emmascrivener.net.

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CHRISTIAN RESOURCES

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The inspiring

&

True sTory of how one woman saved a school under siege

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“Not only did she make Michelle and me very proud, but she probably saved a lot of lives.”

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AN EVENING OF LIFE-AFFIRMING COMEDY, TRICKERY, TRUE-LIFE STORIES AND GREAT MUSIC • BOOKING NOW FOR AUTUMN 2014 AND 2015 • ADD YOUR VENUE TO THE TOUR DATES FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 01903 732190 OR EMAIL STEVE@BREAKOUT.ORG.UK

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870 American children were safely in school when an armed man entered the premises.

The nation faced what looked like yet another horrific school shooting. Until Antoinette Tuff, the school bookkeeper, armed only with her faith, rewrote the ending.

This amazing account of tragedy averted is evidence of what we can do when we allow ourselves to be used by God. And how God uses all of our life experiences good and bad - to prepare us for our own moment of divine purpose.

www.bakerpublishinggroup.co.uk

LIBERTI feature

For such a time as this © Michael Haberman

The Valiant Tale of Antoinette Tuff

by Sue Rinaldi

On the 20 August 2013, America embraced a new heroine. She quickly became the talk of CNN, Fox News, Good Morning America, The View and countless other international media outlets, as well as the receiver of high praise from President Obama. The story on everyone’s lips was of an unimposing, unarmed book-keeper at an Atlanta school who bravely talked a crazed gunman into a miraculous surrender. Soon after the incident, the valiant tale of Antoinette Tuff spiralled.

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At 12.45pm, twenty-year-old Michael Hill stormed into Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy in Decatur with 500 rounds of ammunition and an intent to kill. Waving a loaded AK47 assault rifle, he walked into the reception area by sneaking in after a staff member had been buzzed through, shouting, “This is not a joke! This is real! We are all going to die today!”

His weapon was aimed at the woman on the front desk. Only her and a door kept this man from accessing a hallway that led to classrooms full of children who were

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sitting at desks, learning and drawing, totally unaware of the horrific danger they were in.

Morning Had Broken Only hours earlier the woman at the front desk, Antoinette Tuff, had begun her day in the usual way. ”I got up,” she explains, “had my devotional time and God didn’t say anything to me that hours later I would be facing an AK47.”

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would have got it from my husband. But my husband, the man I had been with since I was thirteen years old for thirty-three years, had just left me for another woman.

I’m sitting there bawling and crying, feeling overwhelmed.”

Slightly delayed by the phone call, Tuff eventually sat at the front desk and five minutes later, at one of the busiest times of the day, all hell broke lose.

God didn’t say anything to me that hours later I would be facing an AK47.”

Death In His Eyes As Hill entered, Tuff realized he was ready to start shooting and immediately asked God what to do. If ever there was a time for divine wisdom, this was probably it!

“He told a teacher to let everyone know he was in the building,” Tuff recalls. “He was agitated. There was death in his eyes as he continued telling me we were all going to die today.”

After fixing breakfast for her son Derrick, Tuff drove to the school and put in a morning’s work as book-keeper. At 12.20 the Principal asked her to fill in for the receptionist at the front desk while she had lunch.

“My office is not in the front,” says Tuff, “I was not even supposed to be there. As I’m getting myself together to go, I get this devastating call from the bank stating that I needed to come up with $14,000 in seven days or they would take my car.

Normally that would not be so bad as I

Antoinette’s recently published book ‘Prepared for a Purpose’ details the events of this frightening altercation and since our interview, has helpfully enlightened me to the scares and wonders of this amazing story. The book describes how she repeatedly asked his name and let him talk, and even though she was fearful and trembling, her voice was calm and assuring.

Even when the front door to the office opened and staff member Lou walked in, Antoinette remained assertive as the gunman aimed the rifle at him. She advised Lou to get behind the counter with her. Lou eventually walked out unharmed but not before the gunman fired a few shots near where they were standing. Loud ricochets and fire sparks filled the air.

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I let him know my story - in fact, the whole world was hearing my story.

Steal, Kill and Destroy Hill ordered Tuff to call 911 and a news station and inform them he was going to start shooting.

The line to the 911 operator stayed active as the gunman opened the front door and carried out his threat.

When he returned, his rifle still smoking from the bulletbarrage outside, they had a conversation about ending the 911 call and alerting a news channel. However, Tuff’s natural inclination was to keep 911 on hold, which she did against his direct orders. As he took a drink of water from his backpack, he reloaded his magazine with bullets and crammed many more into his pockets. In front of a watching world, with Channel 2 news and the police in position, he was about to fulfill his mission. In Antoinette’s words, he was ready to “steal, kill and destroy!”

Deep Calls To Deep After many shooting-surges, loud explosions, shattered glass and police intervention, Hill eventually responded to Antoinette’s invitation to come back inside.

When he did, she saw that he was bleeding and clearly unstable.

Antoinette describes the turnaround moments.

“He never really allowed me to know he was listening to me. I was praying, ‘God, what do I say’. But somewhere down in his heart he started to listen and began to give up his gun. I started talking to him about

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Antoinette’s son Derrick at his graduation in 2009 from the Georgia Academy for the Blind.

myself, allowing him to know that my husband had left me after thirty-three years and look at me now, I’m OK. Everything is gonna be OK, we’re gonna survive. I let him know my story - in fact, the whole world was hearing my story.”

As she utters those words, she laughs at the realisation that the drama of her life had been listened to by multitudes of people.

Certainly not something she would have chosen, but engaging with Hill at a level of intense pain was obviously akin to pouring healing waters over a troubled soul.

Antoinette understood pain. Her childhood was unsettled - her father left when she was two, her mother was seriously ill with cancer for three years, and then she and her mother were homeless for four years from the age of thirteen. Antoinette gave birth to her daughter at the age of twenty

Did Antoinette know she was capable of such bravery?

Love Wins The Day

The Future Starts Here

Perhaps Hill sensed the involvement of a higher power as she unclothed her turbulent story, and when she said she loved him, calming him with a kindness that only those who have received God’s grace can administer, he lost his fury and laid down his weapons. Tuff stayed with him as he told her how he wanted to die and soothed his aching lack of self-worth when she said she remembered the music from a band of visiting high school drummers that he was once in.

Life changes us. Anyone who has encountered trauma or tragedy, crisis or catastrophe will testify to the force of the aftershocks. They can extinguish the brightest of flames and defeat the toughest of champions or astonishingly, and many testify to this, what doesn’t destroy you makes you stronger!

The Michael they arrested was a very different Michael to the one who woke earlier that day, took a selfie with his AK47 and drove to McNair Academy. Perilously tortured by a demonic intent to kill and be killed, his calculated strategy failed to take account of one thing - a divine intervention.

Tuff with 911 Operator, Kendra McCray

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as an unmarried mother; her son was born with a serious neurological disorder and was left unable to see, hear or walk by a subsequent disease. In the months leading up to 20 August, Antoinette had been left by her husband of thirty-three years after he admitted to an affair, a revelation which led her to take anti-depressants and to contemplate suicide.

“I didn’t know I had it in me,” she responds.

“I thought I was actually screaming on the outside because that’s what I was doing on the inside. I was screaming at God to help me. I did not know how calm I was until everybody kept saying.”

These words from 2 Corinthians 4 express this mystery so well. ‘We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.’

This seems to be the valiant tale of Antoinette Tuff. August 20th changed her life and re-configured her future. A future that, unknowingly, she has been preparing for since birth.

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“I’m speaking all over the world, allowing others to know that in spite of what we go through, we all have a purpose in life. I also have a nonprofit organization – Kids On The Move For Success - that aims to tell kids to be prepared for their purpose.”

For Such A Time As This Listening to her describe how 870 students and their teachers were saved that day, moved me. Her actions have justifiably been hailed as heroic but she puts an altogether different spin on her involvement. “He was crying out for someone to help him and I knew that cry, because I had the same cry myself. I was just God’s vessel that He was able to use that day. ” In the days after our conversation, I pondered on those closing words. Alongside her humility and gritty reality, she exuded an atmosphere of something quite grand and reminded me of the biblical Queen Esther, who risked her life to serve God and save her people. Obviously events differ, but as well as both women exhibiting undeniable courage, they have this in common - at a significant moment in time they rose to the occasion and walked out their destiny ‘for such a time as this.’

Read more about Antoinette at www.antoinettetuff.com Kids on the Move for Success is helping students all over the world to have an educational opportunity they would not normally receive. It strives to enable underprivileged children to see the world with new eyes. Change their vision change their lives. www.kidsonthemoveforsuccess.org

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BOOK GIVEAWAY - We have 3 copies of ‘Prepared For A Purpose – The Inspiring True Story Of How One Woman Saved An Atlanta School Under Siege’, published by Baker Books, to give away. If you’d like one, be quick!

Head to Liberti’s Facebook page and tell us why you love LIBERTI. Begin with the words ‘I love Liberti because....’ The first 3 will receive a FREE book. (We will contact you separately for your postal address. No need to facebook it.)

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EAT PRAY SKI

Beginner to Black Run in 7 Days #braveorbonkers

by NATALIE COLLINS

Check out the Eat Pray Ski video diary on www.libertimagazine.com and join in with the comments on #braveorbonkers

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I’m more than a little anxious as I wait at the foot of the ski lift in the picturesque resort of Alpe d’Huez in the Oisans Alpes for my white-haired tough-talking ski instructor to beast me down my first piste. One week from now, I’ll be attempting a black run for the first time and the nerves are starting to kick in. Black Run In a Week might not sound like such a terrifying prospect to the more hardened adventurers among you, but here’s the twist: before this morning, I’d never set foot on a slope.

Possible or not, here I am 2000m above sea level staring up at the cable cars shrinking into tiny black dots as they near the top of the mountain.

And here, just as I’m about to turn tail and flee at the thought of getting into one, is Mel from Masterclass.

One hour later, Mel tries to remain positive about my progress. ‘Why do we ski in parallel?’ he asks, frowning again at my tangled snowplough.

‘Because two blades are better than one?’ I answer cringingly. I repeat his mantra but I can’t get my skis to comply. At the end of the lesson he takes me up the mountain and chucks me down a steep green, hoping the shock’ll propel me into parallel prowess.

And it works! I’m a gibbering wreck but after some après-ski TLC, I trudge back to the chalet grinning triumphantly. I LOVE skiing!

The next day I get The Fear. Mel looks at me like I sent my twin sister yesterday. We do two hours.

I’m supposed to try a blue. I don’t get off green.

I snowplough like crazy. I fall all over the place. I HATE skiing.

I particularly like the bar halfway up the mountain where you dance on tables I do, however, like the outside hot tub. I like the sauna. I like the vin chaud on the terrace and the canapés before dinner. I like the intimate worship sessions and chatting to like-minded people. I like the chalet-style architecture and the delicious pain perdu the chalet chef produces. And I really like Folie Douce, the bar halfway up the mountain where you dance on tables and get sprayed with champagne in the middle of the afternoon.

Alpe d’Huez is a great resort. It’s got 42 green runs and 37 blues, so if you’re not on a mission to break your neck within the week like I am, there’s plenty of scope for learning at your own pace without ever getting bored. There are 2 snowparks for boarders (and HOW cool are boarders?) 39 red runs and 17 blacks including the longest black run in Europe, La Sarenne. And if that wasn’t enough, the resort is

LIBERTI feature

Six months ago, when I brainstormed the Eat Pray Ski feature with my editor, she was somewhat bemused. ‘Black run in 7 days?’ she spluttered. ‘Is that even possible?’

known as L’ile au Soleil or Island of the Sun because it gets an average of 300 sunshine days a year.

So when I’m still stuck on blue on Day Five I don’t phone home and sob for sympathy. I focus on the Eat Pray bit of the mission, then weep my ski failure out into my pillow at night.

On Day Six I manage a short red, but I slip half way down and tumble to the bottom.

I lose my nerve when Mel asks me to do another.

Day Seven draws closer and everyone’s asking about the black. I smile but I feel sick. I start drafting different endings to this feature: a change of goalposts, a broken leg – I’m a journalist after all (wink) – but somehow, with less than 14 hours to my flight, I get coaxed to the top of the mountain by the Richmond Holidays chalet staff.

The gondola swings to a halt. I waddle out. I swallow back vomit and try to get my legs to stop shaking. We’re 3000m above sea level, a height that 7 days ago looked impossible to ski. I shuffle to the edge of the black run to see the ground drop sharply away from my feet. What the HECK am I… But before I have time to reconsider, my Richmond pals leap down the slope whooping. And suddenly, filled with the thrill of it all, I jolt myself over the edge and hurtle headlong after them.

Fast-track tuition www.masterclass.f9.co.uk Taster Days at Tamworth Snowdome www.snowdome.co.uk

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“They are wonderful. I couldn’t go anywhere else.” Diane Combine dental excellence with a warm, friendly environment and you have the ingredients for a great family dental practice.

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Welcome Are you the consummate hostess? Is your house picture perfect?

Are you a wonderful cook, baker, chef? Nope, me neither.

But hospitality – welcome – is something we can all practice, whether our kitchen floors are sticky and spider webs adorn our ceilings. I say this coming from my mother’s home, where kitchen floors shine immaculately, and spiders dare not spawn their webs. So although I have a high standard imprinted in my being, if I waited to open my home until it reached that standard, it would remain forever closed.

We might think it’s too much of a bother to invite guests over for a coffee or meal or to stay. But we’re called, if we follow Jesus, to welcome as He’s welcomed us. God the Trinity invites us into His circle of love, and for some mind-boggling reason He loves those around us, through us. Yes, us, even if we harbour mixed motives or murmur when our guests leave the loo smelly. He loves the world through us.

So we welcome. And we remind ourselves that people come to see not our house but us. In doing so, we can reorder our priorities to people and relationships instead of appearances and things.

A few ideas for entertaining angels unaware:

© iStock | Elnur

Be present. This takes only our own mindfulness; no decluttering needed. People ache to be known and heard, so when we invite them to a meal or to stay, we should turn off the devices and engage fully.

AMY BOUCHER PYE LIBERTI faith

A Word in Season:

Keep it simple. Who says a dinner party has to feature sea bass and chocolate truffle tortes? Why not tacos or make-your-own pizza?

Create a guide to your home. (This applies more to overnight guests than those coming for a meal.) Save yourself some time by noting the wonky shower curtain and how you don’t flush the loo at night so as to not wake up CutiePyeGirl next door. List the WiFi code and any other quirks. You, therefore, won’t have to explain everything with each set of guests, and you can also have available tourist leaflets about your locality. I also include some lovely prayers to welcome and send them on their way.

Start up a guest book. We love leafing through the pages of signatures, pictures and messages from those who have visited over the years. It becomes a treasured family resource.

As we approach that seemingly frantic month of December, how might you carve out some time and energy to be a person of welcome? We promise to ignore the spider webs.

Amy Boucher Pye is a writer, speaker, editor and reviewer. A transplanted American, she lives in North London with her family. She loves books, prayer, laughter, sunshine and dark chocolate.

She blogs at www.amyboucherpye.com and tweets at @AmyBoucherPye.

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The healing power of generosity...

ARIANNA WALKER LIBERTI faith

Bah,

Š iStock | Melpomenem

Autumn 2014

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ARIANNA WALKER LIBERTI faith

We all know the classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge - the epitome of selfishness - the quintessential mean-spirited, miserly, narcissistic old man. However, as this timeless Charles Dickens story unfolds, (every year around this time of year!) it becomes clear that there are reasons for Scrooge’s miserable approach to life.

When the Ghost of Christmas past comes to visit Scrooge, we catch a glimpse of his pain. His mother dies when he is young, and he is left alone to fend for himself when his father is unable to deal with his own grief.

Later, the ghost shows Scrooge how his success in business has made him obsessive, developing a workaholic tendency.

His money and work-obsessed personality traits eventually drive Scrooge’s fiancée, Belle, to leave him, further hardening his heart.

Finally, after Scrooge loses his sister, Fan, while she gives birth to his nephew, Scrooge loses all of his love for humanity, for life in general. He becomes a hard shell of a man with virtually no life left inside of him.

This is what life can be like for many of us. It’s not just one thing that gets us; it’s one thing after another, and, before we know it, we become so overrun with a sense of loss that we simply shut down in an attempt to protect our heart and prevent further pain and disappointment.

Often our response to this loss is to hold on; to hold tight to our own resources, to hold tight to our loved ones, to become fixed in our way of doing things. We become controlling, or cold and detached for fear of losing someone, something, anything else.

But Ebenezer had a turnaround moment; an experience that led him to see that his own way of coping with the pain was keeping him isolated, bound in fear and guilt. And it led him to discover the healing power of generosity.

As the final narration states: ‘Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.’

God chose generosity.

Has it ever occurred to you how much loss God the Father has suffered? I mean He lost what some would call His worship leader, the Archangel Lucifer, and with him, lost a third of the angelic host. Then God lost humanity, and, because He’d given Adam and Eve dominion over the earth, He lost that too.

Don’t for a second believe that God did not feel the pain and disappointment of those losses. Knowing ahead of time that they would happen does not lessen their impact.

What this shows me strengthens my love and respect for our heavenly Father. He does not ask me to do something He wouldn’t do Himself. He too has had to choose a response to pain.

God’s own response to loss was to give.

‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.’

(John 3:16)

God responded to His personal loss with a personal gift, for the greater good. God’s pain resulted in the greatest gift ever given: Jesus Christ. That spirit of generosity lives in each of us. Generosity is God’s own heartbeat; it’s His nature. And as we have been made in His image (Genesis 1:26), we also have received that nature.

This is what God says about the importance of choosing generosity as a response to pain and adversity: Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness.

Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.’ Romans 12:19-21 (The Message)

We become controlling or cold and detached for fear of losing someone, something, anything else.

Out of the myriad of responses to pain and loss that God Almighty could have used, He chose the one that would save us all. His generosity, His heart to reconcile and be in relationship with us caused Him to give His only Son.

ARIANNA WALKER LIBERTI faith

Scrooge was not just generous with his money, but generous with his heart. He gave people time; he smiled, and he became a good friend and mentor. His kindness transformed those around him, but more than that, it transformed his own heart. Where the pain of his past had left him mean-spirited, and dead to life’s pleasures, the response of generosity left him laughing on the inside!

How can we be expected to respond with generosity at a time when we may feel we have nothing to give, or we simply don’t want to give because we have shut ourselves down in our attempt at self-preservation?

It seems that when we repay evil with good, we gain a victory over it. In other words, when we choose to respond in the midst of our own lack with a generous spirit, we take the enemy by surprise, and are able to coat the destructive effects of whatever adversity we are facing with a healing balm.

My friend tells of a time in her life when God asked her to go and pray for a couple who came forward in church for prayer for infertility: just when she had learned that her own treatment had failed again. She had to see beyond her own pain and disappointment and choose to respond with generosity. She sowed a seed: she gave a gift of faith and prayer when she so needed it herself. She has two babies of her own now.

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Don’t for a second believe that God did not feel the pain and disappointment of those losses.

ARIANNA WALKER LIBERTI faith

Another friend ran a Bible study with some young women along the theme of love and marriage at a time when her husband had just confessed to an affair, and they were desperately trying to rebuild their own marriage.

Rising above her own disillusionment, her own sense of betrayal, she chose to invest in others. She gave of her time; she opened her home and sowed seeds of hope and strength into others when she needed it for herself. Their marriage is now stronger than ever.

When my new-born nephew was diagnosed with congenital hypoplastic left heart syndrome, and given only a small chance of surviving his first set of operations, I immediately set up a standing order with the British Heart Foundation. Why? Not because doing so would increase his chances of survival, that’s just silly superstition.

No, I did it because I wanted my response to this painful experience to be one of generosity. Giving to that

charity is my way of saying to the enemy: ‘You will not stifle me; you will not corrode me on the inside with fear and sadness. I will give faithfully into a charity that stands for healing and research; in years to come, it may be the very organisation that discovers a way to fix his heart permanently.’

Humanity is at its most divine when we show kindness amidst carnage.

When amidst our own fear and pain we respond from a place of generosity and kindness, we send a message of hope that lifts the spirit and softens our hearts and in so doing, we reveal our origins as being made in the image of a good God. The Bible puts it like this in 2 Corinthians 8:2: ‘In spite of their terrible ordeal of suffering, their abundant joy and deep poverty have led them to be abundantly generous.’ (International Standard Version) Pain and suffering do not have to lead us to misery and brokenness. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control our response to it. When we choose generosity and kindness towards another’s pain and tragedy, it miraculously takes an edge off our own. It becomes part of our healing, part of our ability to overcome, and in it all we become just a little more like Jesus.

Autumn 2014

© iStock | shironosov

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Arianna Walker is a speaker, an author and the Executive Director of Mercy Ministries UK- a Christian charity that works in partnership with churches across the UK to provide residential care for young women who are dealing with life controlling issues.

For more info: www.mercyministries.co.uk Twitter/Instagram: @AriannaWalker @MercyMinUK

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LIBERTI feature

Faith and Feminism: a man’s perspective.

by STEPHEN

HOLMES

I occasionally get asked why I have involved myself so much in conversations over gender in the church. The subtext, of course, is always ‘why as a man have you involved yourself so much in gender issues?’ It’s an issue for feminists, and only women are feminists, right?

© iStock | lolostock view portfolio

Well, I want to set aside the last point for a moment because there is a sense in which I agree with it. I don’t call myself a feminist; it seems that the title is not mine to claim. Rather, it belongs to others - to women - to give.

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LIBERTI feature

I realised that senior leadership was disproportionately male; that young boys were encouraged to consider leadership roles when young girls never were.

When a former student described me online as one of her favourite feminists, I did not object, and indeed was honoured (albeit also concerned that we had not exposed her to all the much better stuff that is out there during her degree). It seems to me that she can confer the title, but I will never claim it. (Or almost never; I remember hearing Alan Storkey, years ago, ask; ‘What is it like, being married to a feminist?’ He responded, ‘I don’t know. Ask my wife.’ Perfect - I wish I had said that!)

The former point: ‘why get involved?’ I guess splits into two: ‘why do you believe women can be called to lead?’ and ‘why do you spend so much time and effort shouting about it?’ I can answer the first very quickly: ‘this I know, because the Bible tells me so…’

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use several languages whilst doing these things, and scatter footnotes like land mines across the bottom half of every page… …but all that is just digging down to check that the obvious, surface meaning of the text is, in fact, the right one. The promise of God at

Pentecost is that the Spirit will be poured out, without distinction, on women and men alike. The New Testament is full of female teachers and leaders. Yes, there are a couple of anomalous and, at first sight, troubling verses that seem to point in a different direction, but it is not very hard to

© iStock | stacey_newman

It is actually that simple for me.

I am an academic theologian by training and by inclination, and I can make it much, much more complicated if I try. I’ve dug into the serious arguments; I once sat through an academic seminar discussing every single use of the Greek word translated ‘head’ in 1 Cor. 11 between the beginning of Greek literature and about 400 AD (Yup. That’s several hours of my life I won’t be getting back…).

I can give you a lengthy disquisition on how Junia, the apostle in Romans 16:7 got made male, and why that was so wrong. I can deconstruct spurious arguments about subordination in the Trinity, and rebut exegetical appeals to 1 Timothy 2. I would

‘If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.’

(Footnote: I think the argument about gender roles in marriage, as opposed to the church, is a little bit more complicated. Most of the stronger arguments for male only church leadership work from male headship in the family to a generic principle about male headship, which then gets applied to church life. I disagree with these arguments also in the end. When Heather and I prepared for marriage, we did so with several other couples; a good friend called Chris, now a pastor in Australia, was asked what specific roles would belong to his wife, Su, in their marriage.

He responded ‘Pre-natal childcare.

And breastfeeding.’ Excellent I wish I had said that, too!)

The problem is not the clarity of the text; rather it is that the point is really, seriously, counter-cultural.

Patriarchy, the assumption that leadership is male, is deeply ingrained in every human culture (including our own; our rhetoric may be better, but look at the reality!). To critique that, to imagine a way of living where men are not inevitably in charge, requires us to really believe that the text of Scripture can propose realities that are profoundly alien to our experiences.

Which gets me to the last, and perhaps the most interesting, question; why give so much time and energy to this? My first response is honesty: I don’t. I write quick pieces semi-regularly, but it is nothing compared to the time and intellectual effort I’ve put into defending penal substitutionary atonement, or arguing against relational doctrines of the Trinity, or tracing obscure arguments about Hoffmanite Christology in seventeenth-century England (trust me; you don’t want to know…). I might hope to do a proper book or two in this area

© iStock | Nick_Thompson

it never occurred to me to doubt that God called women and men indifferently to all roles in the church Autumn 2014

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LIBERTI feature

make sense of them when you set them against the clear and general teaching of the text. That, at least, is how I see the general shape of Scripture.

LIBERTI feature

one day, but until I do it is a sideline, and I have to be honest about that.

That said, the question bothers me. I believe patriarchy exists and infects our societies and our churches. I did not always see this; I have to admit. I was converted to Christianity as a young science student in Cambridge and got taken along to the local Baptist church. Our minister was male, but the church was certainly open to the ministry of women, and its student group had a series of female leaders (I married one of them...). As far as I recall, it never occurred to me to doubt that God called women and men indifferently to all roles in the church. I fairly soon was sent from that church to train for ministry within the Baptist Union of Great Britain. It was about the time Synod was debating the ordination of women to the Anglican priesthood, but BUGB had been ordaining women since the 1920s; the argument was old, and long-won... ...or so I thought.

I learnt (through gracious female friends who opened my eyes) that the argument was not long-won.

As so often with patriarchy in our culture, the rules and the rhetoric had changed, but the reality was stubbornly resistant. Something like 10% of BUGB ministers were then female. It was widely rumoured that in certain regions, women would struggle to find a church, because of the attitude of the regional minister who acted as gatekeeper; across the country, churches routinely requested to be sent only the names of men to consider.

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The promise of God at Pentecost is that the Spirit will be poured out, without distinction, on women and men alike.

Then, of course, I began to see the rest; that conference platforms were disproportionately male, and that so often the women invited were the wives of the male speakers. I realised that senior leadership was disproportionately male; that young boys were encouraged to consider leadership roles when young girls never were. I saw how (some) student groups deprived young women sensing God’s call to leadership of the sight of any role models, or of space to explore their gifts and test their call, all in the name of ‘not offending anyone’s theological position.’ The surrounding culture wasn’t much better; in some ways it was worse, organisations badging themselves as ‘celebrating diversity’ whilst structurally perpetuating discrimination of every sort.

I started to say a few things in public, suggesting that this was not OK. I discovered something else, or two things else. One was that actually, occasionally, I can write quite powerfully. I wrote one or two things that people wanted to read, and shared on social media. The other was that some people, female and male, were surprised, and so listened when a man said things that previously they had only heard from women - even if (as was true in every single case) the women had said it better. It seemed I could do

some good; why would I not?

There is a basic injustice here, one I benefit from; obviously I should give at least what time and energy I can to overturning it. That just looks like basic Christian ethics to me. I can’t not benefit from this injustice, so I have an obvious and pressing duty to do what I can, however little that might be, to eliminate it.

Probably the greatest moment of my life was once, unexpectedly, getting hugged by Desmond Tutu (it’s a long story…). He once said ‘If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.’ (Yes; I wish I had said that, too…) That seems to me to be all the more true if you benefit from the oppression.

I don’t believe I can call myself a feminist, but I do believe I have to speak and act in such a way that no-one else can call me an oppressor.

Steve Holmes is a Baptist minister, presently employed as Senior Lecturer in Theology at the University of St Andrews. He is the author/editor of over several books, including Baptist Theology; The Holy Trinity: Understanding God’s Life; and Walk this Way: Forty Days on the Road with Jesus.

He is a trustee and board member of the Evangelical Alliance, and of the Sophia Network.

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Worshipping God in Spirit and in Truth!

28/6/10 11:11:24

MUSIC TO OUR

ears

No Other Name - Hillsong

The near-hymnal ‘Calvary’ will surely become a favourite of many a crowd of thankful hearts, but the overwhelming highlights are found in the delicately impassioned ‘Broken Vessels’ and the charming and honest ‘Thank You Jesus’.

Hillsong has always been a standard-bearer of impact and influence, and ‘No Other Name’ will undoubtedly keep their flag flying high for many years to come!

Liquid Spirit Gregory Porter A high climber in the world of jazz, Californian Porter has a voice that would satisfy the most extreme chocolate addict! It is rich and luxurious, with a natural resonance and an ease of expression that delights the senses.

His vocal performance is both powerful and delicate, and his unique and warming style, fusing elements of jazz, soul and funk, is gathering a diverse audience as well as winning awards and accolades. Even Stevie Wonder addressed Porter as a “talented, rising star worthy of attention” when he joined him on stage for a surprise duet.

He is also proving to be an accomplished composer – for instance, his punchy, handclapping title track that edges towards gospel or the laid back, emotional ‘Hey Laura’ or ‘Brown Grass’, lamenting a lost love.

Whether or not jazz is your pleasure, flat-cap wearing Porter is definitely one to dip your ears into.

Unbelievable – live worship from Spring Harvest Various Artists If you like your music live and bursting with faith, then ‘Unbelievable’ will hit the sweet spot.

Recorded across two locations, this Easter event gathers thousands and invites some of the top names in contemporary worship.

The result is a strong and stirring collection of heavenly moments; at times abounding with dance-infused energy in ‘God’s Great Dance Floor’ and ‘Let It Be Known’ and then seamlessly shifting to a more reflective and intimate exchange in ‘Ready For You’ and Oceans’.

For those who were there, this album will recall treasured memories. For others, the rhyme and rhythm of the saints accompanied by a range of bands, including Hillsong London and Worship Central, will inspire.

SUE RINALDI

Recorded over five consecutive weekends, their twenty-third live album displays an attractive synthesis of assorted singers, writers and contemporary worship songs expressing deeprooted faith and spiritual pursuit. Several are slow-burn-anthems, a style they excel in. ‘This I Believe’ for instance, a modern expression of the Apostles Creed, the majestic ‘Heaven And Earth’ and the title track, which doubles as their 2014 conference theme.

music to our ears

Response to Hillsong’s latest worship album is as dazzling as the twenty-one digital billboards in New York’s Times Square that illuminated the words ‘No Other Name’ and ‘Jesus’ onto the atmospheric streets for one hour prior to release.

AT THE

{cinema}

by SOPHIE LISTER

© Sony Picture Classics

SOPHIE LISTER

British artist J.M.W. Turner is known as ‘the painter of light’. But as portrayed by Timothy Spall in Mike Leigh’s new biopic, he’s an earthy, eccentric character, with his fair share of darkness. This Dickensian tale of art and life won rave reviews when it premiered at the Cannes festival, and promises to be one of the year’s best.

at the cinema

Mr. Turner (31 October)

Interstellar (7 November) © 20th Century Fox

Exodus: Gods and Kings (26 December) It’s beyond dispute that the biblical epic is back in fashion. Noah may have divided opinion earlier this year, but it was no box-office flop, proving that even the oddest stories in scripture can draw an audience.

Moses seems like a safer cinematic bet. We already have Charlton Heston classic The Ten Commandments (1956) and animated musical The Prince of Egypt (1998).

Now Gladiator director Ridley Scott is bringing us a grittier version starring Christian Bale. Expect swords, sandals and spectacle aplenty, as Moses demands his people’s freedom and leads them out of Egypt. The old ones are the best, aren’t they, Hollywood?

© Warner Bros. Pictures, Paramount Pictures

A Christopher Nolan film is always an event. His Dark Knight trilogy casts a long (bat-shaped) shadow over the contemporary comic-book genre, while Inception is now a touchstone for every smart sci-fi story to hit cinemas. Now, in Interstellar, he tackles the topic of intergalactic travel. Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain star.

Expect blockbuster entertainment that’s smarter than your average popcorn fare.

Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey? (14 November) Sometimes, all you really need is a festive film that’s fun for the whole family. The two previous instalments in director Debbie Isitt’s Nativity! series have been packed with every kind of seasonal silliness, from abseiling donkeys to dancing Christmas puddings. As usual, the children will be let loose to improvise to their heart’s content, while the game grown-ups – Catherine Tate and Martin Clunes this time around – keep up. What could possibly go wrong?

Sophie Lister is a writer with Damaris which provides free resources for Damaris Film Clubs as well as the Damaris.

Film Blog. See damaris.org/filmclubs and damaris.org/filmblog

Autumn 2014

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LIBERTI advertorial

Paralympic Champ Takes Up Academic Challenge A Paralympian and European champion triathlete Lauren Steadman graduated during the summer from the University of Portsmouth with a first-class degree in psychology, reports Duncan Williams.

Lauren, 21, has already competed in two Paralymics, the first when she was just 15, and she is on track to take part in her third at the Rio Paralympics in 2016.

In the run-up, she will be starting a new degree at the University of Portsmouth, a master’s in business, which she will study part-time over two years, allowing her to maintain optimum fitness for Rio. She said: “I am always realistic when setting myself goals, as I don’t like to be over optimistic, but I knew that if I tried my best across the assignment and exams then a first could be achieved. When I saw that I was being awarded a first, I called my mum straight away and told her the good news!”

After London 2012 Lauren competed in the freestyle swimming finals of London 2012 Paralympic Games but after the Games decided to switch to competing in triathlons. Within a year she had become double European Champion, World Paratriathlon Series leader and reigning British Champion.

Lauren was born without her arm below the elbow joint and started swimming before she was a year old.

She has said competing in GB colours makes her immensely proud: “Whenever I race in the Great Britain colours I feel proud and overwhelmed. Becoming European champion at my first European triathlon competition is one of my greatest achievements, along with competing in the recent Paralympic Games.”

Among her favourite quotes are “Go Hard, or Go Home” and “Pain is temporary, winning is forever” and she is inspired to reach the top academically and in sport by challenging herself in every way.

Dr Sherria Hoskins, head of psychology, said the entire

department was proud of Lauren’s achievements in the sporting arena and that she had also managed to achieve such excellent results academically.

As a sports scholar, the University made every effort to ensure Lauren could complete her degree alongside the on-going demands of elite sport. Changes were made to accommodate Lauren’s sporting schedule, including competing in and winning two European championships, such as allowing her to submit coursework for some units instead of sitting exams which clashed with sports tournaments.

In the run-up to the 2012 Paralympics, she said: “The University have been fantastic with helping me balance my swimming and my degree.”

As one of the University’s sports scholars, Lauren receives additional support to allow her to study and compete. Portsmouth students who are competing at a regional or international level in their sport are eligible to apply for support and funding through the University’s sports scholarship schemes. Elite scholars receive a wide range of help including free access to the University sports facilities, expert coaching and a mentor who can help with any academic problems such as timetable clashes.

Head of Sport and Recreation Paul Tilley said: “Lauren was born without half of her right arm and has been competing at a high level in sport since a very young age swimming at the Beijing Paralympics at 15 and in London 2012 at 19. She is now well on track to compete in her third Paralympics in Rio when she’ll be just 23. As the current World number one, hopes of a medal at Rio are realistically high.

“Lauren is a first class student and through her time at Portsmouth as an undergraduate we’ve fully supported her sporting ambitions as one of our sports scholars. We look forward to continuing to support her over the next few years of her postgraduate studies leading up to Rio 2016.”

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Autumn 2014

61

LIBERTI finance

If money talks, so can we.

by MIA HUBBARD

Whatever you do, don’t talk about politics, religion or… money. Traditionally, money is a strictly private topic. I can’t imagine asking my granddad how much cash he has and what he’s managed to save. Fifty years ago, discussing personal finances would have been considered rude, even outrageous – but is the same true today? And if so, is it time to break the status quo?

Why are we reluctant to discuss it?

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Autumn 2014

Money has always been a private topic, especially in the UK. Us Brits like to be secretive about our salary, which is fine – shouting about it from the rooftop is more likely to aggravate people than help them. However, maybe it is time to start being a bit more open about money with our closest friends.

© iStock | JHershPhotography

Personally, I’m quite open to talking about money, but then again I do work for a debt counselling charity. I’ve never been one to shy away from politics or religion either. When I got the subject started with a close friend, however, her face turned a little pink, and she quickly tried to brush the topic off. Amongst friends, I was sure this would be a safe subject and felt horrible that I’d embarrassed her. So, why is it some of us are still reluctant to talk about money?

Lucy says, ‘I don’t really discuss money with my friends, especially not salaries, probably because culturally it’s not the done thing. I do think, though, we should be more open and honest about money, especially when we are struggling, and share good advice to help one another.’

Talking about cash might not be the most comfortable conversation in the world, especially if your purse is empty, and your bank account is into the minus numbers, but nevertheless it can be extremely helpful.

Nicola says, ‘Money is a popular topic among some of my friends, or the lack of it due to commitments like being a parent and paying the mortgage! Some often comment that they think about the days when they could spend money on takeaways or clothes but are no longer able to.

There is a sense that we take more responsibility for spending when there are other things that we’re responsible for, like children.’

Discussing finances will get you thinking about how much you’re spending and whether or not you’re on the right track. It’s likely that close friends will be of a similar age to you and facing the same big questions you are, so why not help each other out? Whether that’s thinking about budgeting and bills for the first time or wondering how to save for that dream home, they will probably have fresh advice to give and be able to provide you with realistic costings and calculations.

IN DECENT EXPOSURE! LIBERTI finance

One of your friends is likely to have already thought about, or to be thinking about the same things Talking about cash – will it help? you are, so don’t be embarrassed to ask. will be there to support you and get you back on budget. They’ll also be much more likely to understand if you have to skip the cinema and have a movie night in instead.

Talking about money might not be easy but it will be beneficial, enabling you to gain control over your finances and get things under wraps.

So why don’t we break tradition and start a conversation about cash – after all, if money talks, so can we!

Need further support?

One of your friends is likely to have already thought about, or to be thinking about the same things you are, so don’t be embarrassed to ask.

Exchanging advice will be a huge help to you both – enabling you to feel a little bit more in the know.

If you need further advice when it comes to managing your finances, or if you’re not quite ready to talk to those around you, Christians Against Poverty can help. Our free CAP Money Course is a great way to learn how to budget, save and spend wisely. Visit capmoneycourse.org to find a course near you. Or if you are struggling with debt, we also have a free debt counselling service. Visit capuk.org for more information, or call 0800 328 0006 to make an appointment.

If you’re overdrawn and into the red, thinking about cash, never mind talking about it, can leave you feeling frustrated. You’re not alone. The majority of us struggle from time to time. Paying back loans or trying to catch up on store cards makes discussing cash far from fun. However, you’ll be surprised and relieved by how many people are in a similar situation. Your friends

Mia is half Norwegian but grew up in CAP’s home city of Bradford. She has just completed CAP’s Reach internship programme, where she has been an integral part of the Communications team. She now plans to move to Norway and start work as a primary school teacher. Having published her first children’s book last year, Mia also intends to continue pursuing her passion for writing.

Autumn 2014

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Compassionate

Debt counselling Faithful

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Support

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Faithful

We believe in the local church because it has the only message that will truly transform lives. We empower churches to give practical answers to the poverty and debt they see in their communities.

Find out more at capuk.org/partnership

ssionate

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Lifting people out of debt and poverty Registered Office: Jubilee Mill, North Street, Bradford, BD1 4EW e info@capuk.org. t 01274 760720. Registered Charity No. 1097217, Charity Registered in Scotland No. SC038776, Company Limited by Guarantee, Registered in England and Wales No. 4655175, CAP is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Registration No. 413528

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Back to

BACK TO NORMAL

Normal

autumn fashion

There’s been nothing normal about fashion trends for the last few years with Sports Luxe and Vunk collections gracing the catwalks.

But 2014 reintroduced Normal as the Conqueror. Normcore started as a mindset rather than a trend, encouraging fashionistas to stop peacocking and embrace their inner confidence.

Adherents to the style embrace comfort and simplicity. Their mantra? ‘I have soul and intelligence and I don’t need to shout about it.’

Marks & Spencer Best of British Jacket £199 Polo neck £29.50 Trousers £129 Shoes £165

functional palate flat grey black make life simple classic anonymous

BACK TO NORMAL

autumn fashion

Marks & Spencer Best of British Shirt £99 Jacket £349 Trousers £129

Wallis ¾ sleeve zip shirt £30

layered neutrals brogues really great quiet clothes skater shoes ba

BACK TO NORMAL

Marks & Spencer Best of British Shirt £89 Jumper £199

autumn fashion

New Look Grey patterned jumper £29.99

Internacionale Grey marl zip pocket jumper £16.99

Marks & Spencer Best of British Dress £59 Shoes £165

asic lines well considered comfortable unadorned perfectly boring

BACK TO NORMAL

autumn fashion

New Look Cream cable knit jumper dress £29.99

Pied a Terre Pansy £90

Check out Liberti fashion editor, Emma Greenwood, on Pinterest (this month’s Fashion Board: Back to Normal).

knitwear trainers blending in is the new standing out washed out

New Look Grey patterned jumper £29.99

New Look Black brogues In various styles From £15.99

Next Ankle boot £36

Wallis Roll neck long sleeved dress £60

t jeans polo neck sweaters oversize cardies loafers off duty model

Last word:

Can I help you?

You wouldn’t believe how this one straightforward question can spiral out of control so quickly.

last word

CATHY MADAVAN

There I am one day, nonchalantly surveying the black eyeliners in a department store, when the queen of the brand with her offer of help approaches me. “Oh,” breathes Steph, name-badge sparkling, smile dazzling and in no small amount of awe and wonder.

“I see you have found our world-renowned, patented technology eye-liner. It is, no word of a lie, completely revolutionary. Once you have tried it, you will honestly wonder how you lived without it.”

Strong words about an eyeliner.

I am suitably impressed.

“Sit down!” Steph instructs me in a tone which implies I have little choice in the matter. “Let’s get this on you and change your life once and for all.”

Right then.

“First of all,” says Steph, now in full flow, with me as her captive, “I think we need to apply some of our famous eye primer.”

Did she just say primer? I use primer on my woodwork and my walls, and okay, I accept my face has some surface cracks forming, but really? I try to sound knowledgeable, “So Steph, how would that primer for eyes be different to, say, your more general purpose primer for your….errr…face more… um…generally then?”

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Autumn 2014

Of course! Daft question.

My eyebrows are so full of personality they could host their own chat show.

“Now, before we apply our patented and award-winning eyeliner, shall we just frame your eyes with our unique three-dimensional textured and fibred eyebrow product?”

Steph brandishes her weapon, assumes the posture, and I don’t even bother to answer.

She sets to work, and after a few minutes, stands back and regards her masterpiece as Van Gogh must have regarded his sunflowers.

“You are not going to believe the difference this has made,” she says handing me a mirror.

“Are you ready for this?”

I could never be ready for this; I am a drag queen. My eyebrows are so full of personality they could host their own chat show. “Crikey!” I splutter, “They certainly are a….”

“I know,” interrupts Steph, “they are a real feature, aren’t they?”

They’re a feature all right; a full-length, 3-D, motion picture feature, only without the need for cardboard glasses. As I sit in horror, Steph applies the allegedly life-changing eyeliner in order to complete my ‘transformation’, and I begin to plan my escape route back to the car, in an attempt to avoid encountering any other human life form along the way.

“There,” she says finally. “You’re done, and I think you will agree, that you look completely different.” I certainly do.

“Now, which of these groundbreaking products are you going to take home with you today?”

And, because I am British, I tell Steph that she has a special talent, and I must, of course, buy the wretched eyeliner and the crack-filling primer and that I am deeply grateful for the opportunity of doing so.

“Shall we make another appointment to focus on your skin?” she asks waving her pen at me.

I think not.

Back at home, the only thing that has changed about my life is my bank balance. So, when somebody next asks if they can help me, unless they are a friend, holding cake, I think I might make a run for it while I have the chance.

Cathy Madavan is a regular speaker for Care for the Family, on the Spring Harvest leadership team, a writer for CWR and is working on her first book. At home, Cathy is married to Mark, a church leader, and they have two busy and wonderful teenage girls. www.cathymadavan.com twitter: @cathymadavan Facebook: Cathy Madavan Speaker/Presenter/Writer page

© iStock | Okea

Steph looks at me very seriously and replies slowly as

if I am very simple, “Well, it is made for your eyes, which makes it absolutely perfect.”

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