SORTED magazine : July / August 2014

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RUSSELL CROWE FILMING A BIBLE-BASED BLOCKBUSTER ®

Jul/Aug 2014

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BEN OKAFOR

SIR ROGER

MOORE THAN

A SAINT

WAR WOUNDS

RUSSELL CROWE BEING NOAH

£4.00 $9.95

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CULTURE | SPORT | CARS | SEX | FITNESS | TECH | HUMOUR | LIFESTYLE

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Vol. 8 | No. 4 | Jul/Aug 2014

www.sorted-magazine.com

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44

54

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48 ACTION 6

Military Matters with Luke Taylor

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The Bear Facts with Bear Grylls

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Sun, Sea, Sand and Suits of Armour

COLUMNISTS 16

Diamond Geezer with Ant Delaney

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Your Will, Mott Mine with Alex Willmott

CULTURE

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FEATURES 41

The Flight of Your Life Sam Hailes shares his extraordinary experience flying with The Blades.

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Tails I Lose The story of an ex‐gambler, Sorted talks to Justyn Larcombe.

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Russell Crowe The actor talks about filming the bible‐based blockbuster Noah.

BUSINESS

54

Window in a Dark Sky Stacey Hailes spoke to Ben Okafor about growing up in a war zone.

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The Saint Gets Sorted From being evacuated in the war to becoming the first James Bond, Sir Roger Moore talks to Sorted.

SPORT 80

Guide to the Commonwealth Games Here is everything you need to know!

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Beyond the Games The competitors who live for more than just a gold.

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“Christian. Husband. Daddy.

Pro Golfer.”

Sorted investigate Bubba Watson’s Twitter Bio.

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We’re in Business with Charles Humphreys

Television with Emily Russell

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Making Your Mark with Stuart Rivers

Gaming with Jim Lockey

66

Relationology with Matt Bird

26

DVD & Blu Ray with Martin Leggatt

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Bolder and Boulder with Martin Carter

HEALTH & FITNESS

28

Books with Mark Anderson

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Collective Action with Martin Thomas

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Fitness with Phil Baines

29

Music with Sue Rinaldi

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Healthy Cooking with Mike Darracott

22

Movies with Martin Leggatt

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ADVICE LIFESTYLE 30

Cars with Tim Barnes‐Clay

32

Road Test… Spark Jetski

70

Smart Talk

HUMOUR

73

Big Questions with Jonathan Sherwin

92

Kneel‐Down Stand‐Up with Paul Kerensa

95

In Vino Veritas with Tony Vino

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Six of the Best… No Ken, just Barbie

OPINION

36

Top Gear – Gadgets and gizmos galore

74

Money with Jon Cobb

38

Gadget Geek with Paul Hurst

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Family with Richard Hardy

Sounds Good… Festival Speakers

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Faith with Sam Gibb

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Politics with Lyndon Bowring

96

Lucas Aid with Jeff Lucas

Cut to the Chase with Lee and Baz

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The Last Word with Carl Beech

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40 Sixty Second Life Coach

with Peter Horne

Cover pictures: REX/Action Press / REX/ITV

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COMMENT

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STEVE LEGG

Up Front Founding Editor Steve Legg steve@sorted‐magazine.com Deputy Editor Stacey Hailes stacey@sorted‐magazine.com Sports Editor Stuart Weir Marketing & Advertising Rebekah Taylor rebekah@sorted‐magazine.com Duncan Williams Tel: 07960 829615 williamspublishing@yahoo.com Design Andy Ashdown Design www.andyashdowndesign.co.uk Print Halcyon www.halcyonline.co.uk Distribution Citipost © Sorted Magazine 2014 Sorted is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement.

SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpose of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984.

Sorted is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

The ABC combined print distribution for Aug‐Dec 2013:

33,824 A member of the Audited Bureau of Circulations

Contact

The Wrong Bombshell

P

icture the scene. It’s my second wedding anniversary and I’ve arranged for the kids to be taken care of. I’ve whisked my wife away to the Cotswolds hotel she’s always wanted to go to, and organised flowers and champagne to be waiting in the bedroom. I turn my phone off and enter radio silence; there are no boundaries to the sacrifices I will make for this beautiful woman.

“I SIT UP AND OPEN MY EYES TO SEE A LONG LEGGED BLONDE BOMBSHELL SLIPPING INTO THE WATER BESIDE ME.”

Sorted Magazine PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 E‐mail: steve@sorted‐magazine.com

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Champagne popped, I suggest we take a dip in the hot tub outdoors and tell my love that I will meet her there. I slide into the bubbles, champagne in hand and lean back, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face. At the sound of a gentle splash I sit up and open my eyes to see a long legged blonde bombshell slipping into the water beside me.

This bombshell is not my wife.

I feel a cloud inch its way across the sun as my mind starts to race through ways to get out of this one. Before I can think, I see my wife – my bombshell – walking across the courtyard, eyebrow arched with a smirk lurking on her lips. As she climbs in and remarks, “this will make another chapter in your book!” she strikes up a conversation with the “other woman”.

I breathe again.

I breathe again and I contemplate the nature of faith. My wife had faith in me; knew that she could trust me. She knew that, whilst I have a habit of getting myself into situations you couldn’t make up, I would never betray her and I realise that faith is a gift. I should appreciate that my wife feels so incredibly sure of me. It makes me want to rise to that faith and prove it true.

Sometimes we take people’s faith in us for granted. Sometimes we abuse that faith because it means we can get away with things and other times we smash people’s worlds apart with our betrayals. In our lives we are surrounded by people who have put their security in us; it might be our partners, our colleagues or our kids. It’s a privilege and honour to be trusted, not something to be taken for granted.

For over 30 years I have put my faith in my God and He has never once let me down. I need to be like that. I need to be a rock that people can depend on, a safe place in a storm, a comrade in arms. I need my life to reflect the God that I serve and to point people to him. I need to be faithful.

I could also do with finding a hotel that has private hot tubs – but that’s another story. n

Steve Legg FOUNDING EDITOR steve@sorted-magazine.com SteveLeggUK

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ACTION

LUKE TAYLOR

Military Matters

Humanity Fights Back

BY LUKE TAYLOR

© Crown copyright 2014

O

n the 8th November 2013, Typhoon Haiyan wreaked havoc throughout the Philippines. The natural disaster destroyed almost everything in its path.

Buildings, homes and lives were lost.

Bodies were still being found earlier this year. It is the deadliest Philippine typhoon on record.

That day left the rest of the world watching in awe, wonder and distress. Nature, in the form of a 25 foot storm surge and winds of 170mph, had once again humbled humanity. Humanity however wasn’t finished yet.

2013 saw horrific acts of evil through the exposure of the television presenter scandals, the Boston Marathon bombings and the murder of Lee Rigby to name but a few. The nature of these events dominated the papers and lead to a questioning of human nature and our innate capacity for evil. But then comes a story about providing aid to places like the Philippines and it reminds you of the amazingly generous and altruistic attitude that so many incredible people have.

Typhoon Haiyan, known as Typhoon Yolanda in the Philippines, affected over 14 million people, including five million who have seen homes damaged. What a force of nature! But what is more impressive than nature is mankind and our support and donation to the people of the Philippines. David Cameron echoed this praise stating in the first stages of the appeal that he was “proud that the British public have always shown unfailing generosity for helping those in need”.

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“WHILE MOST COUNTRIES HAVE CUT BACK, OUR COUNTRY HAS SUSTAINED AND INCREASED ITS GIVING.” Private organisations have, with your support, been able to save and empower people. The DEC (Disasters Emergency Committee) for example raised money to give aid to over four million enabling them to help rebuild their lives. Oxfam has reached over 500,000 people thanks to the dedication of volunteers and donations.

The government have also supported the typhoon appeal. According to figures published by the Guardian, the British Government has upped spending on foreign aid by 27.8%. The reactionary nature of this spending is great to see as while most countries have cut back, our country has sustained and increased its giving.

So where does this spending go? With both the public and the government giving, it provides help to the dire, desperate and destitute. The government has been supplying clean water, food and shelter with £25 buying water purification tablets for 10 families for a month, £50 feeding a family for two weeks and £100 providing a family with emergency shelter and bedding.

This aid means that people like Jednel can live. Jednel is a ten‐year‐old boy who lives in Leyte in the Philippines.

He describes the events of the typhoon as he walks around his crumbled school building. f

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ACTION

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ACTION The emphasis Ben placed on team was also great to hear, emphasising that his highlight was “working with such motivated, professional people towards a worthwhile, meaningful aim is a real privilege”.

When asked to give some key examples of the aid the government provides to the Philippines, Ben replied: “Team ILLUSTRIOUS was able to deliver 500 tonnes of food, shelter and reconstruction stores directly when and where it was needed; which affected over 40,000 people.”

Let’s continue to support both the organisations and individuals like Ben who are improving the lives of those less fortunate. How gracious would you be if you lost everything? Let’s remember to stay humble and be thankful for what we have. n Luke Taylor is currently studying History at the University of Exeter. He is a keen debater and loves all things sport and music.

He talks of the hundreds of bodies that surrounded the streets and the tragic death of one of his friends from school. The aid that the Government and private organisations provide allows children like Jednel housing, food, water, security and shelter. But more than this the Government, through other organisations, provides places for children to come and share their experiences and receive support. This support is essential as it is something that is not physically visible but the supportive psychology will shape their future, creating a healthier generation of children in the Philippines.

© Crown copyright 2014

“WE NEED TO REMIND OURSELVES CONSTANTLY OF JUST HOW BLESSED WE TRULY ARE.” In the wake of this sustained support for the Philippines I spoke to Ben, an engineer who is a part of the team ILLUSTRIOUS who have provided construction advice and helped coordinate aid in the Philippines. Ben and the team arrived in the Philippines two weeks after the typhoon. They immediately began the rebuilding of structures and lives.

When asked about his time in the Philippines, Ben describes it as “an incredibly humbling experience as the people displayed cheerful resilience and genuine gratefulness, which is remarkable considering they had lost everything. It was such an inspiration”. He also shared that his job is very difficult at times. He often sees extreme, almost unbearable suffering, but feels powerless to intervene as to do so would often do more harm than good. It is hard for Ben to on one hand see people in desperate need but on the other know that sometimes helping is off limits.

A question I was eager to ask him was how the jumping from extreme poverty to excessive consumerism affected him. He admitted that he found it really difficult.

“Having seen families with literally nothing, to then see the amount of money being wasted on stuff that people didn’t need or appreciate was shocking.” Ben explained: “What was most worrying was how quickly my perspective started to get skewed back again with the pressures and pace of the life we live.” His final statement presented such a poignant truth. Ben said: “We need to remind ourselves constantly of just how blessed we truly are.”

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ACTION

BEAR GRYLLS

The Bear Facts Know Yourself Action man, Bear Grylls, recently penned a practical and helpful book called A Survival Guide.

This issue’s excerpt teaches the importance of “Knowing Thyself” in order to live life to the full.

T

he most sacred place in the ancient world was the oracle at Delphi in central Greece.

Kings, warriors and envoys travelled from across the known world to hear the prophecies of the oracle. Above the gates at Delphi, a short inscription greeted every weary traveller: “Know Thyself.”

This simple advice was considered the most important piece of knowledge anyone could possess. And to understand what the oracle told you, you first had to understand yourself.

There is good reason for this. If we do not know our own mind, our dreams, strengths and failings, how can we reach the heights we seek? We become like a ship with no rudder.

Which is why knowing yourself is so important. It helps you make decisions that make you happier, because you end up pursuing goals that are true to your very nature and core.

So how do you get to know yourself? The first way is to spend some time alone – just you – without all the outside influences of peers and family that so powerfully shape our aspirations. Give yourself enough time to hear your own heart’s desires, rather than being drowned out by what others want you to do with your life.

I am sure the advice your family gives you is motivated by great love, but that doesn’t necessarily mean their advice about your aspirations and career is right for you.

This is your life. Be bold with it. Live it with energy and purpose in the direction that excites you. Listen to your heart, look for your dreams. They are God‐inspired.

You will find that you have certain core competencies; things you naturally find you are good at. Look to those skills, feed them. Your purpose, dreams and aspirations will

often be aligned with your natural core competencies.

Listen to what the Bible says: “You are wonderfully and powerfully made.” In other words, it is no accident you are good at certain things!

The second way to get to know yourself is to test yourself. Throw yourself into new challenges. Set yourself hard tasks. Find out what makes you come alive and test what you’re capable of.

Before I climbed Everest, I saved up to make an attempt on a peak called Ama Dablam, one of the classic and more technically difficult climbs in the higher Himalayas. For many of the weeks I was there, I climbed alone, plugged into my headphones and utterly absorbed in each step, each grip.

I was in tune with myself. I was in tune with the mountain. It was just the mountain and me.

During those times, I really had the chance to push my own boundaries a little. I found myself probing, being willing to push the risk envelope a bit.

“IT IS NO ACCIDENT YOU ARE GOOD AT CERTAIN THINGS!” I started to reach a little further for each hold, finely balanced on my crampons, taking a few extra risks – and I made swift, efficient progress. I was exploring my climbing limits and loving it.

When I reached the summit and watched in awe as the distant peak of Everest came into view, ten miles to the north, I knew I had the skills to scale that mountain, too.

William Blake said: “Great things are done when men and mountains meet. This is not done by jostling in the street.”

He was right. We need time and space and adversity to really get to know ourselves. And you don’t always find that in the grind, when your head is down and you are living someone else’s dreams.

Wherever you are in your life, it is possible to find your own challenge and space. You don’t have to go to the jungle or the Himalayas – it is much more a state of mind than a physical location.

Mountains of the mind are around us all everywhere.

And it is when we test ourselves that we begin to know ourselves. n Bear Grylls is an adventurer, writer and television presenter. He is best known for his television series Born Survivor, known as Man Vs Wild in the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Bear spent three years in the SAS and is one of the youngest Britons to climb Mount Everest, doing so at the age of 23. In July 2009, he became the youngest ever Chief Scout at the age of 35.

If you want to read on, we strongly recommend investing in a copy. It’s available from all good bookshops and online retailers, and it could just help you make the changes that you need to introduce in order to turn your life around.

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ACTION

SUN, SEA, SAND AND

SUITS OF ARMOUR Leigh and Hayley Barnard enjoy a long weekend in Europe’s smallest capital city.

Temperatures The average temperature in August is 27 degrees, and only drops to between 21-24 degrees in October.

Getting There We flew with Ryanair from Stantead for £107 return each.

Flight time 3 hours.

Flights are also available with British Airways, Easyjet, WizzAir and Air Malta from every international airport in the UK.

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“W

ouldn’t it be lovely to spend some quality time with your grandchildren for the weekend?” was my opening gambit. It had been ages since we had been away together as a couple without the kids and we were desperate for a break. I hoped that sufficient time had passed for my parents to forget how bad it had been last time. Fortunately, due to their good nature or early onset of dementia, they agreed and we were off!

Valletta is not your typical destination for a weekend break and I confess; I had no idea where it was to begin with. Most people opt for Paris, Barcelona or Copenhagen for a city break but it was late October and we wanted some sunshine.

Valletta is Europe’s smallest capital city and lies at the heart of the deep blue Mediterranean Sea on the island of Malta. Guide book in hand, I set about reading the fascinating history of this city on the flight while my wife kept the Ryanair staff busy ordering from the extensive wine menu (“red or white?”).

Valletta owes its existence to the Knights of St John, who apparently set up the city as a refuge to care for injured soldiers and pilgrims during the Crusades in the 16th century. The Knights planned and built what has now become a World Heritage site.

“AFTER TEN MINUTES OF STARING AT DRAMATIC BUILDING AFTER BUILDING I WAS BEGINNING TO WONDER WHY I HAD NEVER HEARD OF THIS PLACE BEFORE.” We arrived late afternoon and took a short taxi ride to the historic Phoenicia Hotel. If you are visiting the city, and you can afford it, this is the place to stay. Former guests include the Queen, Oliver Reed, Derek Jacobi, Arnold Schwarzenegger and… Gerard “the bottle” Depardieu.

We arrived to piano music playing in the art deco lounge bar. After a warm welcome we were shown to our room, which had stunning views over the Grand Harbour and the city. The atmosphere in the hotel was relaxed and despite its obvious pedigree, we soon felt at home.

Nothing was too much trouble for the friendly staff.

As we sat outside drinking Prosecco and watching the warm evening sun go down over the harbour, I’m sure I briefly thought of my parents looking after the children in stormy England, struggling with a 24‐hour power cut.

But only briefly.

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ACTION Valletta is small in size and it is quite possible to explore the whole city on foot. Now the first thing to say is how blown away we were by Valletta. After ten minutes of staring at dramatic building after building I was beginning to wonder why I had never heard of this place before. When former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli visited the city in 1830 he described it as a “city of palaces built by gentlemen for gentlemen”.

Make no mistake, Valletta is seriously impressive. When the knights from the Order of St John built the city from the 16th century onwards, no expense was spared.

Our first stop was St John’s Co‐Cathedral – Europe’s finest example of high baroque apparently. The slightly officious staff gave my wife a golden coloured modesty shawl to cover her arms and shoulders and I had to make sure my shorts covered my knees (presumably, in Malta, God doesn’t like those bits) but it was well worth it.

There are intricately carved wall designs, a painted vaulted ceiling and as much gold leaf as you can shake a shawl at. The cathedral also houses one of Europe’s most impressive and famous works of art, Caravaggio’s Beheading of St John the Baptist – that was breathtaking.

After successfully navigating my wife past the designer shoe shops, next up was the Grandmaster’s Palace. This is a brilliant place to visit. It houses hundreds of suits of armour and has some great photo opportunities.

Valletta is very hilly so be prepared to walk up and down hundreds of steps. Fortunately, these were designed with knights in mind and are wide and shallow.

This was to allow them to get about in the city wearing heavy suits of armour without having a coronary. I was grateful for this.

The city plan was based on a grid system – a bit like a modern‐day Milton Keynes. Actually, nothing like Milton Keynes but it does have parallel streets crisscrossed at right angles, which make it easy to f

Where to Stay in Valletta Luxury 5*: Phoenicia Hotel from £108 per night.

Medium Range: Castille Hotel from £70 per night Cheap and Cheerful: Asti Guesthouse from £45 per night

Where to Eat We ate at the Phoenix and Pegasus restaurants at the Phoenicia Hotel. Both were exceptional in quality of food and service.

We also eat at the Guze Bistro – a cosy, romantic restaurant – family run with passion and dedication.

Highly recommended but you’ll need to book. www.guzevalletta.com

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ACTION

navigate. If it gets too much you can always take the bubble‐car‐style electric taxis (CT Cabs) around the city centre that are great fun and reasonably priced.

Amazingly, you can walk from the hotel through the full length of the city to the beautiful Mediterranean Sea in around 15 minutes!

At night, the city quietens down and a slower pace is adopted. Most people live outside the city walls so the hustle and bustle is gone and you can enjoy a walk around the walls and watch the sunset from one of the many wine bars and cafes. As we dined that night in the wonderful Pegasus restaurant within the Phoenicia Hotel we started to feel human again, less mum and dad and more husband and wife.

Rising to another gloriously sunny day, we headed for the water and took a tour of the Grand Harbour by boat.

The city of Valletta provides a stunning backdrop to the array of super yachts, cruise liners and traditional fishing boats that grace the waters. Not fancying the ridiculously steep walk back up to the city, we paid €1 for a ride up the newly installed Barrakka Lift, one of the tallest free‐standing lifts in the world. These Maltese aren’t stupid! Half‐a‐million cruise passengers visit Valletta each year and the lift ensures they waste no time getting up to street level to splash their cash.

“Let’s do something we definitely couldn’t do if the kids were here,” my wife said. And so it was that we spent our final afternoon on a wine tasting tour of the wonderful Marsovin Winery. When I say “taste” read “swig”. I even learnt a thing or two about wine production, I think… it was hard to remember after all the wine. I’ve never seen my wife look so happy.

So if you need to escape the kids for a long weekend consider Valletta; a proper, civilized break with fabulous cuisine, spectacular scenery and architecture, rich history and the all important four “S’s” – sun, sea, sand and… suits of armour. n

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Top Five tips for getting the In-Laws to look after the kids

1 Look dog-tired, all the time.

2 Mention that you don’t get to see your spouse for any “quality time” any more.

3 Get the children to write a “spontaneous” letter saying how much they miss them.

4 Ask them if their parents were helpful when they had young kids.

5 Bribe them with the promise of gifts and duty free!

Useful Websites Malta Tourist Inform: www.visitmalta.com Valletta Tourist Info: www.cityofvalletta.org Hotel Phoenicia: www.phoeniciamalta.com Marsovin Wine Tour: www.marsovinwinery.com Malta Youtube Channel: www.youtube.com/user/Malta

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COLUMNISTS

ANT DELANEY

Diamond Geezer

How to Get it Done Without it Doing You in

M

oses had a problem.

Actually, about a million problems because everyone was bringing their troubles to him. He was trying to deal with them all. He was busy, but not effective. This was his job all day and all night, which just multiplied his own quandary.

In Exodus 18 you can read what happened when his father‐in‐law visited and saw how stressed out Moses was. (God probably sent the father‐in‐law because Moses was too busy to listen to his wife).

Moses thought, “I’m doing my best, I’m doing good”.

Jethro said: “It’s NOT good! Both you and the people are going to wear out this way. It’s too much for you.”

Ever had that kind of a day? Moses takes the advice to divide up the people, delegate the roles and develop the leaders. If the ratios in Exodus 18 are worked out and there were a million people on the journey, God had provided 131,000 potential leaders to be identified, mobilised and deployed. That’s one leader for every 7.6 people.

Why do it all yourself?

Crack open the Bible and learn how Moses went from bottleneck to builder of teams as he followed the plan for leadership qualifications (vs 21a), role descriptions (19b, 22), drawing up an organisational chart (21b) and a leadership training strategy (22). He didn’t abdicate, he delegated, trained and empowered others and as a result everyone was happier.

“CRACK OPEN THE BIBLE AND LEARN HOW MOSES WENT FROM BOTTLENECK TO BUILDER OF TEAMS.” In my three years at Theological College nobody taught us anything about practical leadership. One and a half days in the final week of “practical training” taught us to hold tight to babies you baptise because “they’re slippery beggars” and leadership training meant pick people with nice voices to read the Bible lesson.

A background in the police helped, but I have had to learn a lot of leadership the hard way. While over the years I’ve had cause to be grateful for the Jethros in my life who have helped me learn to lead and multiply effectiveness, I’ve slowly discovered that the ultimate test of a leader is not how many come to you but how many go from you, having

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discovered their God‐given dreams and been released to achieve them. It’s not just whether you get it done but whether it does you in along the way.

I’m thankful too to be teaching Transformational Leadership on the faculty of Westminster Theological Centre, an international and interdenominational college.

I don’t have to give up my day job for this – and neither do you. Hubs meet all over the country and all the faculty serve on the front line of business, ministry and mission so people in the real world can learn how to plant a church or plan a business that thrives and flourishes, with Certificates, Degrees or Post‐Grad qualifications accredited by Chester University.

Interested in growing your leadership for life so you can burn brighter without burning out?

For a prospectus go to wtctheology.org,uk and learn to do what God wants you to do without it doing you in. n Anthony Delaney leads Ivy Churches in Manchester, he is the founder of New Thing UK, a movement to reproduce churches and equip networks of apostolic leaders.

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RUNNING HEAD COLUMNISTS

ALEX WILLMOTT

Your Will, Mott Mine

Sticks and Stones

S

ome of the most painful descriptions I’ve heard about my character are the ones that I’ve overheard accidentally. The email that I wasn’t supposed to have been Cc’d into, or the pub toilet conversation at the urinals while I’m in the cubicle. Some of the more memorable descriptors have been “chubby virgin gobshite” and “seriously flawed”. Sadly, they were never just passing quips or fleeting thoughts. For me they were moments that will camp in my head until I meet my maker.

However, this week I overheard a comment that I am immensely grateful for. As two senior colleagues walked near me in the work cafeteria, this is how the conversation played out: Man one: “That Welsh boy, he seems to have a bit of nouse about him”.

Man two: “He’s a f***ing good manager. He gets the job done and takes people with him”.

I blushed. As I drove home to be with my

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wood‐burner and a cracking bottle of red I’d stored up for an occasion such as this, I experienced two contrasting concepts. On the one hand, I was elated at such encouragement, and on the other, I questioned if needing encouragement was a weakness in itself.

The truth is I’m not sure. There is no doubt that if you live from one day to the next in the hope that someone will notice you, you will probably not live a very fulfilling life. From my experience, people are not very good at dishing out genuine compliments. However, there is also no doubt that too many compliments can puff up the soul. I have seen many leaders in the UK who have, to use a famous phrase, “believed their own press”.

So where is the line between flattery and true affirmation drawn? For me it is when flattery begins to blind you from the knowledge of your own mortality.

The cafeteria conversation that I overheard was a great benchmark for my managerial future. The backlog of sniping that I have tasted in years gone by though is a reminder of how dangerous it can be to put your whole faith in flawed people.

As a manager, I have begun to use the unnecessary sniping that I have seen others partake in as a lesson of how not to behave.

On the other hand, when I see a team member perform well I always say well done because I know how long words live in the memories of men. There will come a time when I no longer manage a team. My hope is that when my former colleagues speak of me they will say I was the first to say well done and the last to criticise.

“I QUESTIONED IF NEEDING ENCOURAGEMENT WAS A WEAKNESS IN ITSELF.” You see, any wild animal can tear the limbs from a weaker creature but it takes a real man to lead others forward. So when you look back at your career and review the highlights and the lowlights, may there be no one left in your wake and hundreds standing beside you. n Alex Willmott penned the epic Selah trilogy. Former newspaper journalist, sports fanatic and local football manager, Alex took a vow to live life to the full after reading the book of John in the Bible aged 16. Visit www.alexwillmott.com for more information. Follow Alex on Twitter: @Alexinboxes.

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CULTURE

MOVIES

With Martin Leggatt

The season of the blockbuster is upon us and this summer looks set to bring a bumper harvest. If the huge IMAX screen, super surround sound and a bucket of popcorn is your choice of cinematic experience then the upcoming loud, brash and explosive season of action awaits. This is my selection of the biggest and noisiest offerings that will ensure that the multiplex will boom with THX.

Guardians of the Galaxy Chris Pratt plays Peter Quill in this CGI fuelled sci‐fi that also features the vocal talents of Bradley Cooper as the voice of Rocket Racoon, a genetically engineered racoon who is something of a sniper, and a big screen appearance from former Dr Who sidekick Karen Gillan as Nebula joining the massed ranks of 22

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John C. Reilly, Michael Rooker, Vin Diesel, Djimon Hounsou, Glenn Close and Benicio Del Toro.

Adapted from the Marvel graphic novel of the same name, the plot revolves around the adventures of Quill and an odd group of misfits and outsiders who are on the run from the psychotic Ronan (Lee

Pace) after stealing a mysterious orb. Amongst the monster cast already named keep your eyes peeled for cameos from Peter Serafinowicz and the obligatory Hitchcock style appearance of Stan Lee. This film has talking racoons, huge prisons and thrills aplenty.

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CULTURE

Sin City: A Dame to Kill for I know it’s a dreaded sequel but this looks set to be a worthy successor to the excellent first movie. I really enjoyed the first film adapted from Frank Miller’s fantastic graphic novel with its grimy, noir‐esque comic book style and fast paced action and snappy dialogue that was akin to Chandler. The good news for this sequel is that many of the original characters are reprised, which means a welcome return for Nancy (Jessica Alba), John Hartigan (Bruce Willis), Senator Roark (Powers Boothe) and Marv (Mickey Rourke) – who was excellently personified in the original. Joining them are Joseph Gordon‐Levitt, Eva Green, Josh Brolin, Dennis Haysbert, Stacy Keach, Ray Liotta,

Jupiter Ascending This latest offering from the Wachowski brothers can be best

Juno Temple and an unlikely appearance by Lady Gaga.

The film follows the same, sectional format as the first and is based on Miller’s second Sin City book, including stories: “A Dame To Kill For” featuring Marv (Rourke) in

a story that predates the original, “Just Another Saturday Night” and original stories written for the film “The Fat Loss” and “The Long Bad Night” that features Joseph Gordon‐ Levitt as Johnny taking on the eternal bad guy Senator Rourke.

described as a sci‐fi take on the Cinderella story. In this, their first return to the sci‐fi genre since The

Matrix trilogy, planet earth is now a commodity being exploited by intergalactic businessmen. Mila Kunis plays Jupiter Jones who is a kind of futurist janitor but unbeknownst to her is really a galactic Queen, much to the shock of her and the existing rather evil Queen of the universe.

Channing Tatum plays Caine Wise who is a half‐human, half‐ wolf hybrid who comes to earth to reveal Jupiter’s true identity. He’s a tortured hero trapped inside a seemingly villainous demeanour – well he is half wolf after all. Eddie Redmayne is on top form as the villainous King Balem alongside the mandatory appearance of Sheffield’s finest; Sean Bean as Stinger.

Prime, Ratchet and Bumblebee.

The good news for all you fans of Transformers and Michael Bay is that Age of Extinction will be released in IMAX and 3D. Stand by for shock and awe to hit the big, big screen. n

Martin Leggatt is married to Sue and father to Aaron, Sam, Hope and Paige. He’s a self‐ confessed movie geek, although his tastes run to an eclectic assortment of action, thriller, black and white, war and pretentious (as Sue would say) art house films. Martin’s favourite film is Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter of Life and Death.

Transformers: Age of Extinction A blockbuster season wouldn’t and couldn’t really exist without an offering from Mr Blockbuster himself: Michael Bay. This Summer of Bay is another instalment of the Transformers franchise that is being tagged as the first of a new trilogy rather than a continuation of the existing one. Age of Extinction sees the focus shift to a more human conflict with a new hero Cade (Mark Wahlberg filling the shoes of Shia Lebeouf) taking on the villainous Harold Attinger, one of those paranoid government officials who are always on the loose (Kelsey Grammer of Frasier fame). The action takes place some four years after the end of the last instalment, with plenty of robot action courtesy of the Dinobots joining the Autobots and returns for Optimus

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CULTURE

TELEVISION With Emily Russell

Unbelievable Truths

extraordinary unbelievable truths.

As with most really great panel shows, there’s a terrific double‐act at the heart of it. Mitchell and Mack’s interactions are the highlight of most episodes, sprouting from their comically opposite personae. Egged on by Mack the quick‐witted louty Northerner, the more middle‐class Mitchell often descends into ranty anger. They are truly hilarious.

There’s also a broad range of guest panellists featured each week,

including diverse names such as acclaimed actor Charles Dance, musical theatre star Michael Ball, weather presenter Carol Kirkwood and stylist Gok Wan, but it’s the team captains who almost always stand out. They are an exceptional and explosive match‐up and are regularly fantastic fun to watch.

It’s a game that can be played at home too – how well do you know your friends and family? And how well can they lie? Everyone has been through surprising or embarrassing experiences, moments that no one would believe if brought up in everyday conversation and many people have unexpected or inexplicable skills. Whilst we may not all be as quick‐witted as the players of the game on television, we can certainly enjoy the novelty of learning something new or startling about those that we think we know well. Such stories may cause us to see them in a very different light. After all, the fun of this game is how frequently it lives up to the saying that truth is so very often stranger than fiction. n Emily Russell has a degree in Media and Film Studies and works part‐time for the University of Southampton. She wrote Culturewatch articles for the Damaris Trust website for eight years and watches far too much science‐fiction and fantasy, crime shows, and wrestling. She is married to Anthony. Her film articles can be read at www.emilyrussellwrites.wordpress.com/

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REX/Endemol UK

REX/Endemol UK

“Y

ou never get into conversations like this with David [Mitchell].

He always wins or wears you down — just don’t do it!” – Lee Mack, Would I Lie To You? The answer to the question in the show’s title is a definite “yes!” The aim of the game is to convince the other team that a fact about yourself is either true or false, when it’s actually the total opposite. David Mitchell and Lee Mack captain the teams and regularly engage in plenty of barbed banter. Angus Deayton hosted the show’s first two series before Rob Brydon took over, regularly inserting himself into the action, revealing some home truths and falsities of his own.

The show hinges on how good the panellists are and introduces all kinds of gamesmanship and double bluffs. Is somebody lying badly, claiming that something is true when in fact it isn’t, or are they only appearing to lie badly in order to lull you into thinking that they’re telling the truth when they aren’t? And if you can get your head around that then you’ll be pretty good at the game! It’s full of big laughs, twisted strategy and

Would I Lie To You? airs regularly on BBC One and on Dave.

Series four, five, & six are all available on DVD.

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CULTURE

GAMING With Jim Lockey

Luftrausers Review

L

uftrausers (PS3/Vita/PC/Mac) is a dog‐fighting shooter with a highly stylised pixel art style that takes many cues from the aesthetic of World War Two movies.

The game is frustratingly addictive.

Firstly, there is the control scheme to master, as it is a little unusual.

However, once understood, great satisfaction can be derived from throttling up to the clouds then cutting the engine to free fall back down whilst firing upon every enemy plane in sight.

Secondly, Luftrausers allows you to customise every part of your plane in ways that dramatically change gameplay. This adds depth to what is otherwise not much more than a ten minute distraction. Each load out demands a vastly different approach to flying. It is fun to experiment and find ways to maximise the potential of each part.

Your plane is elegantly realised in just a few sepia pixels and yet each load out meaningfully changes the look of your craft. The visual design of the game allows it to never become confusing, no matter how many enemies dog your tail. Despite the brevity of visual information in the game, some of the imagery surrounding it has caused controversy. This is mostly down to the logo for the game that appears to be influenced by Nazi imagery. It features a skull, a brutalist font and a silhouetted plane in a white circle that faintly echoes a swastika.

Though many films and games use images from this highly iconic period of history, it becomes problematic to think that this game might actually cast the player as a Nazi pilot.

In terms of its gameplay, Luftrausers exists in an abstracted space in which “shooting” is disconnected from its real‐world equivalent. I had no more moral qualms about firing the plane’s weapon than I do sending pacman chomping around a maze to support his pill habit. The disconnection of images of violence in media and its affects is a discussion in itself. But in a game like Luftrausers the shooting is so abstracted as to render the problem irrelevant.

But it is problematic when, as has been claimed, that abstract gameplay is framed in a real and lamentable period of history. Make a game like that and you risk disrespect for the

sacrifice of servicemen and women and a dangerous glorification of violence that presents war as virtuous in itself.

“SOME OF THE IMAGERY SURROUNDING IT HAS CAUSED CONTROVERSY.” As for the Nazi aspect, the game is so abstracted as to be clear that it is a fictional world. Additionally, the game’s menus are populated by grotesque caricatures of zealous generals and mad scientists. They are B‐movie staples that serve to parody the avarice of violence. The gameplay is reliant on constantly dying and trying again. There is no “winning”, only losing less badly. If Luftrausers has any moral message it is about the futility of war, not the glory thereof. n Jim is a lifelong gamer and lives in Kent with his wife and children. He is also an artist and curator. His website is www.jimlockey.co.uk and his PSN name is tearfulminotaur.

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CULTURE

DVD & BLU RAY With Martin Leggatt

T

his hidden gem has just concluded its third series on BBC2 and is now available as a complete third series or all three series in a glorious box set. The profane and profound trials, tribulations and misadventures of the sometimes‐ irreverent Rev Adam Smallbone (Tom Hollander) have been a constant source of joy, laughter, inspiration and consolation to me since I first discovered it. I personally think this third series has been the very best yet.

For the uninitiated the titular Rev, Adam Smallbone, is the vicar of a struggling inner city church in the Marsh called St. Saviour. His dwindling congregation is a collection of misfits, dropouts and ambitious parents who want their children to get into the very good Church of England school across the road. Regulars of his flock include Colin (Steve Evets) a homeless alcoholic who is Adam’s ever loyal but totally unreliable parishioner, Adoha (Ellen Thomas) an Afro‐Caribbean lady who has very strong religious beliefs and a serious crush on Adam, Mick (Jimmy Akingbola) a crack addict who is constantly trying to extort money and Nigel (Miles Jupp) a lay reader who desperately wants to be a vicar and who believes himself to be far more suitable for the role than Adam. A constant source of frustration for Adam is Archdeacon Robert (Simon

McBurney); a career clergyman who is always busy networking and pouring offered cups of coffee down the sink.

Adam also struggles with his own belief that he is something of a failure in his vocation, especially as his wife Alex (Olivia Colman) has a high‐ flying career.

Made in America

includes: Santigold, Jill Scott, Janelle Monae, Odd Future, Passion Pit, D’Angelo and Gary Clark Jr. So with anticipation I pressed the play button and some 90 minutes later I was very impressed. With many concert documentaries there seems to be a standard format of concert footage entwined with rehearsals, sound bites and footage of the featured artists going about their normal lives. True there is plenty of this, but there is more; there are scenes cutting from the musicians to the local people who are trying to make a living in a climate of harsh economic meltdown. There is a lady with a small scale catering business that had ploughed her last cent and pinned all her hope on a lucrative two days trading at the venue.

Another was an elderly, middle‐class

This music documentary is the result of (on paper at least) a very unlikely collaboration between the musician Jay‐Z and the director Ron Howard.

Could ever a pairing be more apart?

The footage is from the Jay‐Z masterminded 2012 “Budweiser Made in America Festival” held over two days in Philadelphia. I must admit that my musical tastes meant that I hadn’t knowingly crossed Mr Z’s work, but a quick glance of the featured artists was reassuring; here were Pearl Jam, Run‐DMC and Kanye West, all acts that I listened to and liked. For the rest of the ensemble I did what any middle aged, rather square parent would do and consulted my teenage son and daughter. According to them Jay‐Z rocks, as does Rita Ora, and The Hives are cool from a list that also 26

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“COMEDY SO SUBLIME THAT I AM AMAZED THE PROGRAMME HAS NOT AMASSED MORE AWARDS.” The third series sees Adam becoming a father and a friendship blossoming between him and the Archdeacon – the two linked by the birth of Adam’s daughter in the back of the Archdeacon’s taxi. The scriptwriting is fantastic and on a par with the amazing acting across the whole cast.

A lot of the entertainment comes from Adam’s conversations with God. When asked how he prays Adam replies that he just talks to God all the time and it is this that really drives the viewers understanding of Adam the man and Adam the priest. Although a vicar, Adam is still a normal man facing the daily struggles that we all endure. He struggles with the administrative side of work, he’s constantly trying to give up smoking,

Phil Fisk/BBC/Big Talk/Handle With Prayer

Rev Series 3

he swears quite a lot and endures a myriad of trials and temptations that beset us all. Set against these constant troubles is a comedy so sublime that I am amazed the programme has not amassed more awards.

Some of the many highlights are when Adam gives a post Eucharist blessing to a gay couple that was “definitely not a wedding service”. The anxiety that he feels whilst trying to be a loving example of Christ and adhering to canon law was by turn both moving and hilarious. What makes the episode even more amusing but equally humbling is his assertion to Colin that “Jesus does love gays, it’s the Church that doesn’t”.

The Easter week episode is another outstanding episode as Adam is under investigation for kissing Ellie the headmistress of the local school.

In his torment he carries a huge cross to a neighbouring church encountering hardship and abuse along the way, before finally resting atop a hill to admire the sunrise and have a wonderfully touching encounter with God. This scene is genuinely moving. lady whose back window overlooked the venue and she was concerned that the crowds would ruin the area and that the noise would be horrendous. Neither was true for her after the event. It is here in the skilful editing that Howard’s experienced and shrewd hand is clearly evident. It is that extra factor that makes the difference from something being run of the mill to being, like this is, a very well made engaging film.

There is a very good quote from Jay‐ Z that he believes “that every human being has genius level talent, there are no chosen people. God has given [this] to everyone” and we just have to find it. Oh, did I mention that it features Pearl Jam and Run‐DMC, two of my favourite acts of all time?

Made In America is available now on VoD and DVD

JJJJJ

A highly entertaining, original and seriously funny series

JJJJJ

Skilfully made and refreshingly entertaining, stamped with the Howard hallmark

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CULTURE

BOOKS

Stand

With Mark Anderson

by Karl Martin A story of one man’s calling from God. Karl does not shy away from the gospel message, but what next?

Karl identifies with a reader who has no real idea of who they are called to be. Karl tells the reader to have a real think about themselves. God is always speaking to us but do we take the time to listen? Each chapter is a guide to discovering who you are, with stories of Karl’s life and handpicked verses from the Bible.

Stand

JJJJJ

Faith in the Fog

by Jeff Lucas

Entertainment and Encouragement

Jeff travels to Bethlehem and finds it in turmoil. There is fear, anxiety and a threat that something may happen, not the place of peace and serenity that Jeff was thinking he might encounter on his tour of the Middle East. Jeff hits us with his favourite passage John 21 – if you follow Jesus, you will have nourishment and strength – which is the message to take home from the book. A great read.

Relationology Faith in the Fog

JJJJJ

Straight Flush

by Ben Mezrich Controversial, truth distorting and mesmerizing; these are vital ingredients for a Ben Mezrich book. First off this is a true story based on the events of a group of American students who dabble in poker games and in turn end up creating one of the world’s biggest online gaming companies. This book starts to go dark very quickly and highlights the fact the students are actually stealing other poker players’ hard earned millions. It is very “Hollywood” in its approach and reads like Ben Mezrich is looking for a JJJJJ film deal.

After I read this, I researched the feeling of hurt and disgust that the author seems to have committed by not giving the victims their true say. Many people in the gaming community are urging folks to save their cash and not by the book.

I cannot say that I totally sympathise with those who have lost out, a lot of them seem to be edging on greed; however it is probably best to give this book a go yourself. You may commiserate with those who were out for a fast buck or those kids who found a market and exploited it and may (or may not) have got what they deserved.

Twists and turns will have you gripped but may be left out to dry due to Ben’s style of writing. Ben has a history of hyping up his books with crazy sub plots and only slightly leaning to the truth; however, he does make you flick the pages! If you liked Bens’s book “21” then you will probably like “Straight Flush”.

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All relationships are important, whether with partners, parents, kids or work. Matt takes us into a world that focuses solely on relationships and how to positively use them to make your work life better.

101 tips are highlighted throughout the book in order for the reader to take them away to use on a day‐to‐ day basis. There may be some tips that are not needed; however the book is coming from a good place!

Ambition, Glory and Giving Your All Relationology

JJJJJ

Ambition, Glory and Giving Your All

JJJJJ 28

by Matt Bird

by R.T. Kendall This is a great book for someone wishing to plant a church or do something extraordinary that God has called him or her to! What RT wants us to take away is that the reader has to be sure it’s God that is leading them in the right direction and not themselves.

I loved this book; it was a personal boost for me as it reminded me that although the path is tough, at least you’re on the road. The journey goes hand in hand with the end goal. n

Mark was born in Belfast and developed a book and football obsession at a young age.

He and wife Lisa belong to Fishgate, a church plant in Newtownabbey.

Read Mark’s musings at overtakenheart.blogspot.co.uk.

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CULTURE

MUSIC

With Sue Rinaldi

Summer Anthems

Elbow The Take Off and Landing of Everything

Damon Albarn Everyday Robots

Jesus Culture Reconstructed Volume 1

Elbow

Symphonica

The Take Off and Landing of Everything

Damon Albarn

Responding like chameleons to the changing fads and fancies of popular music is something these Bury boys never do – instead, they serve up a sixth album as dependable as the rising sun. In no way is this a disparaging observation of their creativity, quite the opposite, Elbow sound wonderfully secure and majestic doing what they do so ear‐bendingly well!

A rich calibre of musicality shines through every song. Intelligent chords, divergent mood‐swings, escaping string lines and compelling chorus‐chants occupy the soundscape. In addition Garvey’s voice is as good as ever, a poetic storyteller who commands both melody and listener with a warm and relaxed authority.

Opening with seven‐minute “This Blue World” shows just how secure they are – only in the final three minutes does it begin to lift.

“Charge” features the type of instrumentation breakout they’re famous for, “Honey Sun” emits rays of electronica and the title track is quintessentially Elbow. Exploring themes of heartbreak, age, alcohol and immigration, lyricist Garvey is a confirmed thinking man, aptly placing words of pathos, perception and wit to match the tonal shading of the music. Twenty‐three years of playing together, seventeen as Elbow, and the sun looks nowhere near setting!

Everyday Robots

Jesus Culture Reconstructed Volume 1 Seasoned listeners to Jesus Culture need to approach “Reconstructed” with fresh ears. Remixer, Lucas Hogg, a.k.a. “Oh Snap It’s Luke!” has taken songs from previous albums and recreated/re‐fashioned them in vivid electronic clothing.

Apart from the original vocalists,

Albarn collects accolades like the British Museum accumulates artefacts!

Being frontman for “Blur” and co‐ creator of virtual band “Gorillaz”, amongst other career‐shaping incarnations, has resulted in a loyal following. Consequently, positive acclaim for his debut solo album comes as no surprise.

The mood is minimal and melancholic with one clear exception, “Mr Tembo”, but generally, speeds are measured, samples and spoken words abound and each song paints a story.

The title track focuses on technology diminishing human emotion, “Lonely Press Play” confronts isolation and standout track “Heavy Seas of Love”, featuring a church choir, provides welcome hope and instant accessibility.

Like Albarn…. like Robots!

Symphonica George Michael

George Michael After a ten‐year album vacation, the smooth, versatile and discernible voice of George Michael returns with a live recording, mostly taken from his 2011‐12 orchestral “Symphonica” Tour.

Illness disrupted the tour but thankfully the album prevailed. Lush versions of “Praying For Time” and “A Different Corner” sit alongside classics including “My Baby Just Cares For Me” and highlight track, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”, confirming Michael definitely has a voice for orchestra. Sit back and enjoy! n Sue Rinaldi travels internationally as a concert artist, worship co‐ordinator, speaker and creative consultant. A self‐confessed info junkie and movie enthusiast, her interest in culture, justice, technology and the future fuels her living and writing (www.suerinaldi.net).

any resemblance to previous recordings ends there. Instead, fat sounds rave between dance and dubstep beats, digital seizures skate over pulse‐tronic keys and the end result is a fun, energetic, creative wardrobe. Highlights include “He Is The Light”, a Florence & The Machine‐esque “King Of All The Earth”, “Pursuit” is edgy and “Show Me Your Glory” looks amazing in new apparel.

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LIFESTYLE

TIM BARNES-CLAY

Cars

Top of its Class

Mercedes-Benz SLK 250 CDI If you really like driving then a roadster is the sort of car you probably desire – unless there’s one in your garage already.

T

here’s something intoxicating about two‐up, open‐top motoring. Traditionally, these cars are powered with petrol. But Mercedes‐Benz have gone one further with its SLK 250 CDI Roadster and fitted a diesel engine into it.

While oil‐burning drop‐tops have been a premium manufacturer product for a few years now, this is the first two‐seat, rear‐drive convertible that runs on the stuff.

The 204 bhp four‐cylinder lump puts the Mercedes‐Benz at the top of its class in several respects. With an average fuel consumption of 56.5 mpg it’s the most economical roadster in its sector. The frugal fuel drinking makes the 30

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PROS ‘N’ CONS

3 3 3 3 7

• Sporty • Economical • Good-looking • Comfortable • Cost

SLK 250 CDI a car with superior long‐distance qualities. It is, for example, quite possible to drive non‐stop from the north coast of Scotland to a beach in the Mediterranean. Supportive sports seats, a decent suspension setup and the largest luggage capacity in this car category also

do their bit to create the right conditions.

I drove the 250 CDI AMG Sport model.

Thanks to bags of low down shove and a 7G‐ TRONIC PLUS automatic transmission, it accelerates from 0‐62 mph in 6.7 seconds. This means the car has another feather in its cap. It’s the most powerful diesel model in its class. The result is dramatic driving enjoyment both on twisty country roads and motorway stretches.

As it shares the same genes as other members of the SLK family, the 250 CDI combines its alert acceleration with stylish comfort, a stunning sports car design and day‐ to‐day suitability.

The SLK 250 CDI is available with a choice of three versions of the German motor‐

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LIFESTYLE

FAST FACTS Max speed: 151 mph 0-62 mph: 6.7 secs Combined mpg: 56.5 Engine: 2143cc 4 cylinder 16 valveturbo diesel Max. power (bhp): 204 at 4200 rpm Max. torque (lb/ft): 368 at 1600-1800 rpm CO2: 132 g/km Price: £36,615

manufacturer’s famous vario‐roof – one of them being the panoramic vario‐roof with Magic Sky Control. This glass top can be changed from dark to transparent at the touch of a button. It’s clever stuff – especially if the weather means you can’t drop the roof but you still want to feel natural light flooding into the cabin.

There are also three suspension versions available; a conventional steel suspension, a sports suspension with a stiffer spring and damper setup or a suspension with an electronically controlled, automatic damping system. The latter is part of the Dynamic Handling package, which also includes the Direct‐Steer system and the Torque Vectoring Brake developed by Mercedes‐Benz for particularly responsive and predictable handling characteristics.

The SLK 250 CDI went on sale in 2012, yet it still looks like it has just rolled out of the Mercedes‐Benz design studios. Externally it’s

no different in appearance from the petrol models. It even retains the twin exhaust system and therefore has the same electrifying look for which all the SLK models are known.

To be honest, there are few areas to criticise.

The motor is what it is, a two‐seater sports car.

So there’s little point moaning about lack of space for the dog and kids. Sure, I can see some petrol‐purists turning their nose up at a

diesel offering, but with the SLK 250 CDI’s pulling power and economy, it’s obvious why it’s such a good choice – even if you do need over £35,000 to afford a brand new one. n Tim is an experienced motoring writer with a background in radio and TV journalism. He puts his pedal to the metal each issue with his must‐read car reviews. Tweet Tim Barnes‐Clay @carwriteups www.carwriteups.co.uk.

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LIFESTYLE

ROAD TEST Spark Jetski

Say Hello to the Spark

BY ADRIANA LOPEZ

R

emember when Personal Watercrafts (PWCs) used to be so much fun? If you don’t know what I’m talking about they’re also known as water scooters, or by their brand names – Jet Ski and WaveRunner. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still fun to ride around and tow other PWCs, but I remember zipping around, seeing how fast my PWC could really go and feeling the wind‐in‐ my‐hair kind of amusement.

If that’s the kind of excitement you’re craving then look no further than the all‐new Spark by Sea‐Doo. She’s the kind of PWC we fell in love with, the kind that not only raises your cool points by at least 100 but the kind that is actually pretty great to ride on. She’s got this amazing exterior made with Polytec, that is not only strong and light but looks like something out of a 007 movie and with its Rotax 900 engine, you’re going to feel like

you’re flying on the water. However if going 40mph isn’t fast enough for you, the High Output (HO) engine option is definitely going to get your heart racing. It also has Intelligent Brake & Reverse (iBR), the world’s only on‐ water braking system that is going to stop 100 feet sooner than any other PWC, which if you’re anything like me – is essential! I was also quite impressed with the electronic reverse system because as clumsy as I am, it manoeuvred easily to help me get her docked.

Not only is the Spark full of all kinds of powerful options and neat gadgets, she’s a beauty with her customisable features. You have five bold colours to choose from that have great names such as the “orange crush”. On top of this there are tons of things you can add to your Spark, including 20 graphic kits that can be used to make it unique and personal to you.

“YOU’RE GOING TO FEEL LIKE YOU’RE FLYING ON THE WATER.” Now, let’s talk price point. I know what you’re thinking – it’s going to be way too much. It actually comes in at just under £5,000, which makes it one of the most affordable PWCs out on the market right now and with its entry price you don’t lose out on power, style or customisation. The Spark is going to be the one that is going to bring us back to the golden age and the thrill that PWCs used to bring. So, hello there Spark, we’ve been waiting for you. n Adriana is an American expat living in the south of England.

She truly believes most things can be solved with a cup of coffee and a hug. She can usually be found in a comic book store and has been known to travel for a good burrito.

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LIFESTYLE

SIX OF THE BEST No Ken, just Barbie

Summer has arrived so without any further ado let’s take a look at six accessories to make your BBQs better than the rest!

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These award-winning bangers are handcrafted daily using the finest fresh ingredients and absolutely no mechanically recovered meat, genetically modified ingredients, colourings, preservatives or any other artificial additives. The question is, are you man enough to sample the fiery Satan’s Sausages?

The perfect garb for your summer al fresco event has to be this snazzy shirt with a whole lot of personality.

Contrasting fabrics inside the sleeves add to the distinctive look and the fabric is nice and soft too.

You’ll look the bee’s knees.

From £3.50 www.topsausages.com

£24.95 www.joebrowns.co.uk

O’Hagan’s Sausages

Tequila Shirt

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The Mini Kadai Firebowl We love this fabulous portable Firebowl/BBQ combination that comes complete with stand, grills, tongs and duffle bag. Just fill with charcoal and barbecue the normal way, then when you have finished, lift up the grill, throw in some wood, grab a beer or glass of wine and enjoy the Mini Kadai as a Firebowl for warmth, light and ambience.

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Hand-Chopped Prime Beef Burgers The chefs at Forman and Field have discovered that chopping prime beef fillet by hand rather than mincing in a machine creates a better texture and fuller flavour. These little beauties contain the finest quality Lake District longhorn beef. It’s as good as it gets.

£98 www.kadai.co.uk

£9.95 www.formanandfield.com

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The Balcony BBQ

Perfect for adding a personal touch to all kinds of nosh, the BBQ Branding Iron is set to become every barbecue fan’s favourite novelty utensil. With fifty-two letters and eight blank spaces, this ingenious aluminium branding iron allows wannabe cowboys to customise their food with whatever message they fancy, from “Nice Rump” to “Dead Meat”.

With an array of straightforward fixing options you can mount this tasteful piece of alfresco grill-ware onto just about any balcony or railing. It can even be attached to a wall, freeing up oodles of space for your outdoor furniture and hungry party guests. It’s portable too so the fun needn’t just be confined to your terrace either, why not unhook it and take it with you for a picnic in the park – kiss those flimsy foil non-starters goodbye.

£14.99 www.firebox.com

£59.99 www.firebox.com

BBQ Branding Iron

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LIFESTYLE

TOP GEAR

The greatest gear, gadgets and gizmos we could find Tomos GB Moped Get into the leisure lane. Get into the zone. In fact, get into all zones. Rediscover the journey as part of the destination. There is no timetable. Just time. Time for a breath of fresh air.

Time for a Tomos. Choose the Classic XL in mint green, baby blue, or black.

£1,395 – www.tomosgb.com

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Say Cheese Instant Slicer

TOP BUY

Looking (and sort-of functioning) like a classic Polaroid Camera; simply drag this gadget over the top of your favourite fromage and watch as the slices begin to develop. You can now transform that cold, hard block of Red Leicester into a stack of delicious cheesy memories.

£9.99 – www.firebox.com

Robocup Constructed from a superhuman hybrid of flesh, steel and ceramics; the stern, unwavering mouth of Alex Murphy (AKA Hank Hill) commands the respect of all those who cross him. So fill yourself up with steaming hot beverages and sooth your haunting repressed memories, ready to single-handedly clean up the crime-ridden streets of Detroit.

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Scrubba Portable Washing Machine Grubby holidaymakers, backpackers and festival-goers rejoice – you can now wash your clothes on the go, wherever you like, for free! Just sling your filthy draws into this spacious rubberised bag, add water and detergent, then seal it up and use the internal flexible washboard covered with plastic scrubbing nodules to gently massage the grime out of your clothes. In just a few minutes of rubbing you can achieve results as good as an actual washing machine – without dragging one around with you.

£39.99 – www.firebox.com

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LIFESTYLE

Loch Ness Salt, Pepper and Oil Containers This quirky designer table set includes salt, pepper and oil containers, in three separate parts that make up the mythical creature. Specially made to look like Nessie, the ceramic Loch Ness table set cleverly uses its humps as an oil pourer and salt & pepper shakers. The set features silicone stoppers for easy refill.

£12.99 – www.menkind.co.uk

Knit Your Own Dog Kit

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From yarn and needles to stuffing and pipe cleaners, these crafty canine kits contain everything you need to knit your own loyal companion. They’re just the right size and with the supremely easy-to-follow instructions you don’t have to be an expert to get stuck in – you’ll have finished them in just a few evenings.

TOP BUY

£15.99 – www.firebox.com

Kit Premium Power Bank Running out of battery always seems to happen at the worst possible time, but with a range of compact, powerful emergency chargers from Kit, you can rest assured that you’ll never be caught short again.

Encona Sauces Banish the bland with the UK’s number one hot pepper sauce brand. Encona has a range of 13 sauces that are inspired by flavours from around the world. These are available in major supermarkets and from local retailers. The limited edition Brazilian BBQ sauce is available in a 142ml bottle and can be found in Tesco, Sainsbury’s and ASDA throughout the summer season in selected stores.

From £14.99 www.amazon.co.uk

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TOP BUY

£1.19-£2.19 www.enconasauces.co.uk

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TOP BUY

Flanders Fields Cufflinks To commemorate 100 years since the start of the First World War, The Royal British Legion have commissioned the creation of some very unique cufflinks, which have been made from melted down artillery fuses found on WWI battlefields and based on the design of a poppy picked from No Man’s Land and preserved in the diary of one of the soldiers.

Rhino Shield for iPad This is not just another accessory; this is like having Superman himself sprawled across your cherished iPad, keeping it safe from danger. So slap one on and start protecting your screen today. Made from an ingenious custom-formulated polymer, this slender screen saviour absorbs 5x the impact energy of the much-lauded Gorilla glass, keeping your screen safe from the most brutal of collisions.

£29.99 www.firebox.com

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LIFESTYLE

PAUL HURST

Gadget Geek Can I Get Rid of My Camera?

Doing this job there are certain questions that arise almost on a daily basis. One thing I’m asked loads about is photography and in particular, just how good are smartphones when it comes to taking pictures? You’ll find everything you need to know right here.

“The best camera is the one you have with you” Accredited to the world famous photographer Ansel Adams, this quote does reinforce a very important point. More often than not, we are carrying our phones around with us and it isn’t difficult to capture the moment. Even compact cameras with built‐in lenses can be too big for small pockets and they’re often left behind unless it’s a special occasion.

Winner: smartphone

Megapixels and all of those numbers Put simply, megapixels equate to the size of the image. The more megapixels, the bigger the image will be out of the camera. In the early days of digital photography there was a rush to see higher and higher megapixel counts. Many people still think that higher means better, but that isn’t the case.

Anything ten or over will easily cater for decent A4 prints.

Winner: draw

Sensor size Bigger does mean better when it comes to the size of the sensor. If you imagine that you were trying to catch raindrops in glasses on a tray, if the tray is small, you can only fit small glasses on (remember we need around ten million to fit). If you make the tray bigger then you could fit bigger glasses 38

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on too and they would be better at catching the drops.

Larger sensors, usually found in some compact cameras and APS‐C or full‐frame digital cameras, allow for bigger pixels that capture more light.

Your pictures are better as a result, especially in low light situations.

Winner: separate cameras

“BIGGER DOES MEAN BETTER WHEN IT COMES TO THE SIZE OF THE SENSOR.”

do the job. If you’re looking for something to capture moments that usually occur outdoors with nicely lit subjects, a smartphone will suffice.

Mobile tech has improved enormously over the last few years and there’s a much bigger drive now on higher quality lenses and larger sensors even in smartphones.

However, the laws of physics limit such small devices when it comes to capturing lots of light quickly. n Owning most pieces of modern technology ever invented (from the late '80s onwards, at least), the Gadget Geek Paul Hurst should have been one of the richest men on the planet. Instead, he is incredibly well organised, always knows the exact time and can watch video and listen to music just about anywhere.

Lens tech This is just as important as the sensor. Lenses are usually made up of elements, it’s not uncommon to see up to 16 different pieces of glass in one lens, each specialises in improving the captured image and a good lens makes your image look sharp and focused from edge to edge. Cheap lenses result in distortion, blurring and poor colour renditions. At the moment Apple have this nailed in the phone market, their lenses are very good whereas HTC aren’t as good (they are getting better though).

Unfortunately neither can out perform most separate cameras.

Winner: separate cameras

Conclusion If you’re looking for a camera, don’t expect a smartphone to completely

Owning most pieces of modern technology ever invented (from the late '80s onwards, at least), the Gadget Geek should have been one of the richest men on the planet. Instead, he is incredibly well organised, always knows the exact time and can watch video and listen to music just about anywhere.

You can follow Gadget Geek on twitter @SortedGadget for reviews tips, and technical support for all your burning tech issues.

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LIFESTYLE

SOUNDS GOOD Festival Speakers

All you need to know about the best speakers to play your summer anthems on!

K

itSound’s portable speakers are the ideal accessory to liven up any vacation with the sound of music! As well as being small enough to travel with, they also give out powerful sound. Being Bluetooth compatible there are no strings cables attached, so you’re free to dance around the room or even wander about at work while these nifty little beauties pump up the jams.

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BoomBar The stocky little BoomBar contains a passive radiator that extends the bass response of the drivers, meaning this portable Bluetooth speaker delivers impressive sound from up to ten metres away, horaay!

Containing a massive 1000 mAh rechargeable lithium battery, you have up to 20 hours of play time to listen to your music in a choice of red, purple or blue.

RRP: £61.99

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Invader

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Sucker Speaker

The Invader has a middle that expands like an accordion, mimics the resonance of a sub-woofer and produces an explosive volume and bass of more than ten times its physical size. The 42mm driver gives high quality sound and clear bass, but if you want more, the Invader’s buddy Jack allows you to connect a row of speakers together for increased depth of sound. This speaker really does do the business, and it can be yours for a song.

The KitSound Sucker Speaker comes in blue and pink and can be easily connected to your Smartphone, tablet or laptop via Bluetooth. With its suction base, it sticks to almost any surface – including your device, enabling you to use it as a stand and, because it’s splash proof, you can use it in the bathroom too.

Long live singing in the shower!

RRP: £29.99

RRP: £10.96

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PocketBoom This perky little PocketBoom delivers a surprisingly powerful sound from an amplifier that powers a high fidelity miniature driver, giving a bigger boost of bass by a passive radiator on the bottom. It will also create an even bigger sound when placed on a resonant surface by transferring some of the sound to the surface. Providing up to three hours of playback time and is rechargeable too, so you will never be without music!

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LIFESTYLE

PETER HORNE

60 Second Life Coach the Computer is 20 times quicker than the Chimp and putting in place an effective computer programme to exploit its potential.

We need to adopt some helpful values and beliefs and create an autopilot that is well rehearsed and ready to run whenever it’s needed in order to pre‐empt the Chimp.

Amongst the many practical applications for this model, Peters gives an example of how you can manage stress and deal with it constructively by: n Recognising that the Chimp is reacting and dominating the Human n Slowing down your thinking to allow the Human to get involved n Stepping back from the situation n Getting a perspective n Having a plan Peters recommends writing out your plan for dealing with sudden stress. Try to rehearse this by using your imagination to think of stressful situations and how you will respond with your new plan. Work through them in your mind (mental rehearsal) and think about how it will all conclude with a more productive outcome.

Manage Your Inner Chimp

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his year saw the most exciting Premiership title race for years.

It was a nail‐biting affair.

Brendan Rodgers’ Liverpool were five points clear of second‐placed Chelsea with three games to go. Manchester City was hot on their heels, boasting a superior goal difference and a game in hand – thrilling stuff!

Of course you may not have the slightest interest in what Pelé once described as “The Beautiful Game”, but whether you’re stimulated by soccer or fatigued by football, it might be worth taking a look at how Rodgers rejuvenated Liverpool’s fortunes and how we can apply some of this learning to parts of our lives.

Peel back some of the layers and you’ll quickly find that an integral part of Rodgers’ strategy was to help his team develop their mind skills as much as their playing and physical skills. He enlisted the help of psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters. Before working with Rodgers and the Liverpool team, Dr Peters’ notable achievements included

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helping cyclists Sir Chris Hoy and Victoria Pendleton to win their Olympic gold medals and Ronnie O’Sullivan to achieve his “Snooker World Champion” title. Both cyclists attribute their success to Peters’ help.

Peters works with a model called “The Chimp Model”. It’s a model with application to any aspect of life, not just the arena of sports achievement. Peters suggests that each of us has three brains: n The Human (Facts, truth and logic) n The Chimp (Feelings, impressions and emotional thinking) n The Computer (a machine for the Human or Chimp to use) Much of the time, the Chimp gets to run the show and very often not in a useful way.

Peters suggests that you can learn the skill of managing the Chimp instead of letting it take over and sabotaging what you are attempting to achieve. We can do this by recognising that

“MUCH OF THE TIME, THE CHIMP GETS TO RUN THE SHOW AND VERY OFTEN NOT IN A USEFUL WAY.” If you’re intrigued and want to know more, stop monkeying around and check out Dr Peters’ best‐selling book entitled “The Chimp Paradox – The Mind Management Program for Confidence, Success and Happiness” (Vermilion – part of Ebury Publishing 2012). n Peter Horne is a qualified life coach with a passion for helping people change things in their lives when they feel stuck. He works with individuals and organisations, and can be contacted at enquiries@therealyou.eu. Peter is married with four children and attends St Peter’s Church in Brighton.

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THE BLADES

THE FLIGHT

OF YOUR LIFE Sam Hailes reports on his trip skyward with World Class Aerobatic Display Team, The Blades.

“YOUR HEAD IS FORCED DOWNWARDS AS YOUR STOMACH IS SIMULTANEOUSLY FORCED UPWARD FOR FIVE LONG SECONDS.” If you’ve been on a high‐speed rollercoaster you’ll have experienced this gravitational party, but with two important differences.

Firstly you were secured to the ground by something solid and secondly, you would have experienced negative or positive g only for a few seconds. When you’re thousands of feet up in the air with The Blades, the feeling is much more sustained. As you come out of a long loop the loop, for example, your head is forced downwards as your stomach is simultaneously forced upward for five long seconds. That may sound painful, but in reality it’s a lot of fun and is certainly exhilarating.

Needless to say I felt rather proud of the fact my stomach had taken on the skies and conquered every manoeuvre thrown at me. But learning after the flight that the team will pull up to 10g on a display (when they don’t have me weighing them down in the passenger seat) made me feel significantly less brave than I had done moments before.

Not many people can say they’ve flown on the world’s only formation aerobatic airline. And few would guess the location of this unforgettable event is an aerodrome in Northamptonshire. This experience is certainly the only thing Buzz Aldrin, Ant & Dec and I have in common.

Apparently the celebrities who visit enjoy being treated like everyone else. I’m told that during Buzz Aldrin’s 30‐ minute flight with The Blades he was never asked, “so, what was it like to walk on the moon?” – a question he must be tired of hearing!

For the aviation geeks out there, the planes are Extra EA‐300s. They are two seaters with a wingspan of eight metres, a manoeuvring speed of 158kts. The engines are HP Lycoming AE10‐540/Lycoming AE10‐580 and the propeller is a three‐bladed MTV‐9.

My pilot for the day was Blade 4 Andy Evans. He joined the RAF in 1985 as a member of Yorkshire Universities Air Squadron. After being awarded his wings in 1989 he was selected to fly the Jet Provost as a Flying Instructor. Following his Tactical Weapons Training, Andy joined No 6 Squadron and subsequently No 41 (Fighter) Squadron on the Jaguar front line.

Serving operationally, he flew over Bosnia Herzegovina before being chosen to fly with the Red Arrows from 1997 to 2000. Using his vast experience of display flying, he spent three years as the National Advisor to the Royal Saudi Air Force National Aerobatic Team, The Saudi Hawks. On his return from The Gulf, he left the RAF and joined The Blades as one of the founding Team members.

It’s an impressive CV to say the least, but perhaps the coolest aspect of Andy’s job with The Blades is that he commutes to work in G‐MILLE – his own private plane!

Once strapped in to the plane, the nerves begin to set in. There’s very little between you and the outside world and because you’re positioned in front of the pilot the view is exceptional. Because the aircraft is small the sensations are heightened.

Take off feels much quicker (and smoother) than being on a big airliner.

Once you’re up, everything is surprisingly quiet and peaceful. The noise from the propeller and the occasional comment from pilot Andy are the only sounds I can hear. There’s something remarkably relaxing about soaring high above the rest of the world. I’m in no hurry to come down.

Up in the air with us is another Blade. Mark radios across to his colleague regularly. The general pattern is Andy will check I’m feeling OK, he’ll then ask his f

Glyn Dobbs

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here are moments in a man’s life that are ineffable (aka impossible to describe, although I prefer Adrian Plass’ definition “cannot be sworn at”).

Entrusting your life to a former Red Arrows pilot as he takes you flying thousands of feet up in the air in a plane that loops the loop, barrel rolls and more is certainly one of those ineffable moments. It’s difficult to describe what your body goes through at 4g. And when I say 4g, I’m not talking about the dangers of high‐speed Internet access on your mobile phone but rather gravitational acceleration, which is perceived as weight.

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Glyn Dobbs

THE BLADES

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colleague to perform a manoeuvre and we will watch.

Next he’ll ask me if I want to experience that same manoeuvre. The answer from me to all of his questions is always “yes”. He’ll then check I’m still feeling OK and we’ll get straight to work.

My favourite of all the manoeuvres is the Tailslide.

Starting from a level flight we pull up into a vertical climb at full power. After a few seconds we stop climbing and fall to the ground backwards. As the nose drops so we’re heading in the right direction we roll around before pulling up and leveling off again. It’s as exhilarating as it sounds.

If this seems like an experience that money can’t buy, you’re wrong. £1200 may sound a bit steep but the team has yet to entertain a client who later moaned it wasn’t worth the money. It’s easy to see why. From the moment you arrive at Sywell Aerodrome the team want you to enjoy every aspect of the entire day. Everything is taken care of and nothing is too much trouble. The five star service both on the ground and up in the air is better than flying Business class on a long haul flight. This isn’t just about being up in a plane for 20 minutes (although honestly it felt like an hour). This is about benefiting from a whole day of entertainment and learning.

Despite forking out serious amounts of cash for the privilege of this experience, the majority of passengers write to The Blades to thank them. It’s not uncommon for the phrase “life changing” to be used in letters and emails. Of course one of the best ways to enjoy what The Blades team can offer you is to convince your employer to buy the experience for you and your colleagues as a team building exercise. Corporate experiences at Sywell are commonplace.

The story of The Blades begins in 2005 when Andy Offer, a former leader of the Red Arrows and Chris

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Norton, a Royal Air Force wing commander founded the aerobatic team. The Beckham’s pre world cup party would host The Blades’ debut performance. You may wonder how you can top such a gig? Displaying for the Queen perhaps? Been there, done that.

Performing at high profile events as well as around 60 airshows a year is a loss leader for The Blades. While the team clearly love to perform in the planes (one pilot told me the Extra EA‐300s are the Ferrari of their kind.

“When you get into it you just want to have fun”) the real reason they were set up was to answer the question, “what’s it like to fly in the Red Arrows?”

When it comes to the displays, The Blades promise they aren’t trying to compete with the Red Arrows. There are only so many manoeuvres you can do in a plane, so occasionally The Blades will borrow from the Red Arrow’s catalogue. But the pilots say fitting 32 manoeuvres into 15 minutes is “absolutely frantic”.

As any seasoned adrenaline seeker knows, experiences like this tend to come complete with a slightly worrying legal form. If you’ve ever been go‐karting you’ll likely remember that awkward moment where you sign your life away. If you’re anything like me you do your best to gloss over the words on the contract, which say in the event of your death, your relatives won’t sue the owners of the track. Surely in comparison with go‐karting, this is much more risky and will therefore require a similar waiver where you voluntarily relinquish your rights to legal action should anything go wrong?

But as Team Leader Mark Cutmore explains, The Blades do things differently. When they went to the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) to apply for an Air Operators Certificate, they explained how they wanted to fly civilians in formation just 12 feet apart and do aerobatics. “You can’t do that” was the reply. “Why not?” the team asked.

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THE BLADES

Glyn Dobbs

“You have to abide by this big book of rules and regulations”. All the major airlines such as Virgin and British Airways have to abide by the same rules. But much to the surprise of the CAA, The Blades had complied with all of these rules and the certificate was awarded.

Mark explains that just as most people don’t question the safety of the plane that flies them to New York (because they know the airline has complied with strict regulations), passengers can have that same total confidence in The Blades.

All of The Blades pilots have a minimum of 20 years experience in the military and 3 years with the Red Arrows. Between them all they’ve clocked up 30,000 hours of flying time. Very few teams in the world could equal such impressive numbers. Mark says the team has “absolute trust” in each other as they aim to put on displays, which to the untrained eye appear aggressive and dangerous.

The Blades’ parent company 2Excel Aviation prides itself on “doing difficult things well”. Few would have dared to believe that you could build a company that takes civilians up in the air for acrobatic manoeuvres.

But that’s not all. 2Excel have also provided training for soldiers prior to their operational tours in Afghanistan, developed “plug in and play” flying laboratories for research, testing and development, and even offered consumers bespoke luxury air travel solutions through their company Broadsword.

Flying with The Blades is an experience I shall never forget. As someone who grew up watching the Red Arrows do their thing at airshows, I always wanted to know what felt like to fly in one. Flying with The Blades is the closest any non‐pilot can get to finding out. So, what did it feel like? For the answer to that question you need to read the first line of this feature again. n

Glyn Dobbs

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JUSTYN REES LARCOMBE

Tails I Lose How an insatiable desire to win cost Justyn Rees Larcombe everything.

BY SAM HAILES

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ustyn Rees Larcombe’s story is a remarkable modern day parable about the dangers of gambling. A £5 bet on a rugby match may sound harmless, but the on going results of that one bet were devastating.

Justyn was Divisional Director of a financial services company in London. Sitting happily at the forefront of his industry, he was rewarded with a six‐figure salary. As a happily married man who owned his own home (and Porsche), Justyn was in an enviable position.

“There was no indication my life was about to explode,” he admits. “I love Rugby and all sports and I thought I knew something about it. I saw an advert when I was watching Sky Sports for Betfair. They were offering a £5 matching stake so I opened an account.

“I often wonder what would have happened if I lost that bet. I probably would have closed the account down and thought ‘what a waste of time that was!’ But I won. I guess I got a bit of a thrill from winning, thinking ‘this is quite easy. I’ve been working really hard in The City all the time since I left the army. This is quite easy. Maybe I’ll do it a bit more often’.

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“I had access to the Internet all the time and I had access to money and I spent a bit more and began to not win every time and that made me really cross. I’m quite a competitive person and I don’t like losing.

“I did the classic thing, which is so wrong, and that is chase my losses to try and win back what I was losing.

That meant my stakes were beginning to get a bit higher.

My frequency of play began to get a bit more. All the time I kept it a secret from my wife. I didn’t tell her what I was doing.”

“I KNEW IF MY WIFE FOUND OUT SHE’D PROBABLY LEAVE AND THAT WOULD BE IT. BUT STILL I CONTINUED.” His Christian upbringing meant that deep down Justyn felt uncomfortable about his regular bets, so he kept them secret.

“It was a little thing I did on my own to give me a bit of excitement. Then as things continued it wasn’t just a case of doing it for excitement. I was actually beginning to lose quite a lot of money. Money that actually we couldn’t afford.”

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JUSTYN REES LARCOMBE Still clueless about her husband’s habit, Emma sold her family business and gave part of the lump sum to Justyn to look after. He would later do a “terrible terrible thing” and use some of the cash to pay back debts accumulated through gambling.

Around the same time that Emma sold her business, the couple had their first son Matthew, who was diagnosed with right side paraplegia, epilepsy and autism.

“The shock of that was really quite profound but I didn’t realise it at the time. [Matthew] was a year and a half when he had his first fit. He stopped breathing and the ambulance was quite late in arriving. We were giving him resuscitation to keep him alive. This happened just a couple of weeks before I placed that first bet.”

One year on from his first bet, Justyn had spent all the couple’s savings and taken equity out of their house to fund his addiction. “[Emma] knew I wasn’t happy but she thought I wasn’t happy with my job or wasn’t happy where we lived. So we moved and that was not a good thing either because we were renting and we had money to spare, so again I used the money to gamble.

“In the second year I used all the money that we had and began to run up quite serious debts. I didn’t want to go out anywhere I just wanted to stay in and sit by my computer. All of it was online there wasn’t any activity at the betting shops.

“I began to have very big mood swings. I would be utterly depressed if I lost and ecstatic if I won. Because I had those mood swings and the bets and stakes were so high they were quite addictive. When I was low I wanted to escape and the only place I could escape was gambling. When I was happy I wanted to keep winning.

So I never ever took any money out if I won, it just went straight back in. If I lost I kept thinking of ways to win my money back.”

This “nasty pattern” was continuing with no end in sight. Looking back Justyn says he was a “terrible husband and an awful father”. Three years in to his addiction, Justyn’s life was falling apart. He rarely went into work and had very little money as a large percentage of his significant salary was going toward servicing debts.

“I was a director within a financial services company so I knew I had regular credit checks on me so I had to pay the money back that I was borrowing. I was juggling

credit cards and loans. In the end I turned to payday loans. That was a terrible mistake because I got myself into a cycle of debt. I’d think if I could borrow £500 here I could turn it into £1000 this afternoon. So I didn’t worry about the interest charges, which were crippling.

“I began to sell things in our house. Things that were quite precious to us. Things that we had been given by people on our wedding day or that were special to Emma and had been in her family for a long time. Pictures, bits of silver, the boys’ Christening silver spoons.

“There was a silver covered Bible that the godparents had given to Matthew. I sold that as well.

“I was ignoring my children. I can remember one day Matthew just wanted to go to the swings. We were at our in‐laws house for lunch. It was raining. Emma said you take him to the swings but you must go home first and collect his coat. So I pulled up in the car and left Matthew strapped in the front. He was really sad because he just wanted to go to the swings and couldn’t quite work out why we’d gone back to the house but I walked in, put my hand on the coat, then I remembered I’d placed a bet that morning.

“I thought, ‘I’ll just check to see if I’ve won’. I went upstairs, I hadn’t won. It made me really angry because that spoiled my time with my son. How could I go and push him on a swing now that I’d lost? There weren’t any sporting events on so I went on an online casino to spin a roulette wheel and see what happens.

“Two and a half hours later I was still there. When I’d emptied by bank account completely and had no money left I went outside and saw Matthew, bless him, he’d fallen asleep but I could see the tears streaks on his face where they’d dried and he’d cried himself to sleep while he was waiting for me. There was no time to play on the swings after that, we had to get back.

“That’s just one example of what a terrible parent I’d become.”

“MY WHOLE LIFE WAS A LIE.” Years before when Justyn graduated from Sandhurst, top of his intake, the Queen’s representative awarded him a sword of honour. It was his proudest day and the symbol of everything that had been good about his life. But now the sword had to be sold.

“I took it to a shop and they gave me £200 for it. When I walked out of the shop I was crying my eyes out because I knew what I had done. That was going to be handed down to my children and they looked up to it and knew what it meant.”

Justyn was beginning to pay the price for his addiction.

He was selling household items just to be able to afford food.

“I knew if my wife found out she’d probably leave and that would be it. But still I continued. I hadn’t reached my rock bottom.”

In what he would later describe as a completely illogical maneuver, Justyn used his business credit card to gamble online. £27,000 later his company found out and confronted him.

“They called me in for a meeting. I had a quick discussion with HR and my boss. They knew I couldn’t work in the company anymore. They had been into my email account when they discovered it. They said ‘at first we thought it had been cloned and there was fraudulent activity on the transactions’. But I owned up straight away. They discovered 60% of all the emails I received and sent were to do with payday loans, which is not good for someone who is in financial services.

“I had the means to pay my company back, I was a shareholder so the company honoured my shares and I used the money to pay back the money I had taken f

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JUSTYN REES LARCOMBE

from them on my corporate card, which was good otherwise I’m sure I would have been in trouble with the police.

“We parted company, still I didn’t tell my wife I had a problem. I pretended I had left in order to get another job.

[Other companies were] desperate to employ me until they needed a reference and all of a sudden things dried up.

“I couldn’t get another job, I was at home. I was still gambling.”

“Emma found out one day, one of her friends found a bank statement and pointed it out to her. She found out, confronted me and I confessed to everything. The worst thing for her was not that I’d taken all the money. The worst thing for her was that I’d lied about everything. My whole life was a lie, I’d fabricated everything and I hadn’t admitted to her that I had a problem. I’d taken away her dreams and the dreams of her children.

“She left and took the boys. I really went into a spiral.

I’d wake up and think of ways I could get money to gamble. I was selling clothes. I discovered a place where I could bundle up my clothes and they’d weigh it and I’d get a few pounds. I got the same amount of money for tea‐cloths as I did for my Italian designer suits. After a few months I was having suicidal thoughts. Five months of rent were owed.

“I was in a bad, bad way. Finally my mum, dad and brother turned up. They said I was about to be evicted and maybe I should come back with one of them. I went back to my Mum’s house. My pride had been blocking me from putting my hand up and saying I have a problem. I was so humiliated. I had one black bin liner of stuff after all those years of working. I moved back into the same room that I’d left 26 years before.”

As the seriousness of his situation sank in, Justyn prayed and asked God to forgive him. He was distraught but genuinely wanted to turn his life around. Although

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he didn’t feel anything when he prayed, looking back Justyn knows that was the turning point. November 2012 was the last time he gambled. To say he never wants to go back to the addiction that wrecked his and his family’s lives would be an understatement.

“I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT THE DANGERS BUT I ALSO WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW THERE IS HOPE AND THERE IS RECOVERY.”

Read the full story in Justyn’s debut book.

“God completely got a hold of me. Things didn’t change dramatically overnight but gradually began to get better.

I went along to Gambler’s Anonymous. I found there were other people in similar situations to me. I put some blocks on the computer so I couldn’t use gambling sites again. I began to go out and exercise and get some self respect back. I began to speak about the issue and discovered there were hundreds of thousands of others who had similar problems.

“I want people to know about the dangers but I also want people to know there is hope and there is recovery.

Last week the most amazing thing happened – my wife and my two boys after two years of being separated from them, came back to live in my house and we’re a family again. It’s all because Christ changed me. Emma could see that. She could see how I’ve changed.”

Three quarters of the adult population gamble, and although as little as 1‐2% are addicted, Justyn points out that percentage equates to around half a million Brits who need urgent help. Justyn hopes his story, titled Tails I Lose and published by Lion Hudson will encourage others to get the help they need. n

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RUSSELL CROWE

“

Noah and his ark is not a

religious myth.

RUSSELL CROWE

”

Lily Rogers talked to the Noah actor about working on the Bible‐based blockbuster.

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he 49‐year‐old New Zealand born rugged actor and Academy Award winner, Russell Crowe, came back onto the big screen starring alongside Jennifer Connelly, 43, and Emma Watson, 23, in Noah this spring. Crowe, who got his famous start in the iconic Ridley Scott film Gladiator (2000), has continually proved his acting chops throughout the past 14 years.

“IF I LOOK CLOSELY AND LISTEN CAREFULLY YOU CAN SEE THE SUPERNATURAL SIGNS THAT DETERMINE OUR FUTURE.” Although Crowe is a successful movie star, he maintains a low profile and resides in Sydney with his family.

Crowe does not flaunt his philanthropic endeavours and conveys a remarkable amount of modesty and empathy despite his tough guy image. He recently donated $200,000 toward the building of a swimming pool and provision of water safety classes to an underfunded elementary school in rural Australia. The generous donation was prompted by the tragic death of a child drowning nearby Coffs Harbour.

I caught up with Russell to find out more about his latest Hollywood blockbuster, Noah.

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This is a very serious biblical story. As you will soon turn 50, do you regard this role as a kind of transition point in your career?

Thank you for reminding me about the age [laughs]! But anyway, I rarely think about birthdays, I usually spend them in preparation for the next shooting or on the court. The next one will be no exception. I’ll be filming “Fathers and Daughters” so it’ll be hardly something to remember. We have a saying: ‘If you cannot get up later on my birthday, it makes no sense to celebrate it’. As for the role as a transition point, I think that the most important thing at this point was that I was able to grow my own beard.

Noah loves to do things with his hands. Is it true that you want to be a farmer?

I already have a 1996 farm. Of course, I do not spend as much time on it as I would like, but it brings me much joy. I love to go out in the field or do some simple work.

How did you feel in the rain on set?

It was an ordeal. We had a machine and in that few seconds they could flood several football fields. 36 days we stood in the cold rain, not enough to present the biblical period. We were shooting in the summer, but it was still cold because we shot without umbrellas. And it certainly has an impact on you. You cannot spend 36 days under cold water and not feel it for yourself. Sometimes I look at these machines and in the first few seconds, f

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RUSSELL CROWE Niko Tavernise Š MMXIV Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Entertainment (USA), Inc.

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RUSSELL CROWE when it started to pour the water, I saw a spray shimmer sparkle like a rainbow and I took in this beauty at the same time realising that after a few seconds it will do the same drop on me and I will be wet and shivering.

Why do you think there are so many films about biblical stories?

If you look closely in Hollywood, you will notice that many people like to make a film on a topic that someone else has already started work on – at least in order to make it better. This is a known trend as soon as the movie is popular there are many sequels or similar films.

What made you want to be involved in a film based on the Bible?

Niko Tavernise © MMXIV Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Entertainment (USA), Inc.

I like Darren Aronofsky movies. He has a very original voice for the cinema. I especially liked “Black Swan”, it struck me deeply. For the last ten to 15 years we went in circles, stared at each other and appreciated each other’s work. He called me but I said that I was busy and I had very little time. But he got me because he didn’t say what project he wanted to talk to me about. He said that if I agreed to a meeting, then he’d tell me. And when we met, he said: “Listen to my suggestion in silence. And remember that I’ll never ask you to wear sandals or stand on the Ark next to a giraffe or an elephant.”

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He showed some of his ideas. He’s perfectly organised in this respect and I immediately wanted to participate in his vision of the story. Darren is one of those people who never cease to be a director and it’s very good. On the other hand, it is extremely difficult because he never relaxed, even when the camera stops. I liked working with him. The fact is that when you’re working on such a large project it must be very clear what you want to see at the end. The present director must be able to see it and a director like Darren is helpful.

Your Noah is deeply emotional, as he believes the flood really will happen. Looking back, do you think there was a flood?

The destiny of my character is extremely complex and on a spiritual path. He’s dropped into a huge test and it is to be expected that his mission will require great physical and emotional cost. By the way, that’s why I took this job. It was interesting to feel and experience the emotions and feelings experienced by Noah – not as the host animal, but as an apocalyptic character.

I read everything I found about it and was surprised to find that in all religions there is the story of the flood and that one “hero” saved the world. This proved that Noah and his ark is not a religious myth and evidence that humanity really went through the flood. f

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RUSSELL CROWE AVTA/FAMOUS

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RUSSELL CROWE

Sorted’s Review Here is what Sorted’s deputy editor, Stacey Hailes, had to say after she watched the film…

In order to not be fooled or influenced by Hollywood, I prepared myself for this movie by reading the story of Noah right before watching the film. Let me tell you, I’m glad I did.

He loved the world. I feared the movie would make God look bad, but the reinforcement of how corrupt the world had got actually had me rooting for God’s plan more than I thought I would.

I’m not going to give you my black and white opinion, because I think this is a film you need to see for yourself and make your own mind up about it.

Through some of the not so great parts of the film, a thought was left in my mind – always make sure you are clear of what God is telling you to do. If you get the message wrong, you can ruin the good work you’ve been called to. You need to be clear and have clarification, not just move on instinct and guess work alone.

AVTA/FAMOUS

What I am going to say is there are good things to say and bad! The task to turn four chapters in to a two-hour film is not an easy one. The biggest disappointment for me is that while I could forgive them for adding in more to the story, as they didn’t have a lot to work with, I felt they changed some of the original core account, which wasn’t necessary at all.

Do you believe in fate and destiny?

Yes, in my life there were times when dreams had nothing to do with reality, but obviously they were prophetic dreams. And I know that if I look closely and listen carefully you can see the supernatural signs that determine our future. We all meet with various everyday difficulties and overcome them; we grow and develop.

But that was the point. In general, do you not think it’s surprising that people who have not seen the movie have already made their opinion about it? But much depends on what version of the Bible you read the details on and what made the emphasis that seemed important to you.

Believe me, before we started to shoot, Darren read and studied all the versions – the only way he was able to recreate those events. Of course, he had to fill the gaps and guess the stories but he treated it with great respect to historical facts. So, I think the picture should please the faithful.

Are you planning a sequel to Noah?

About what? I guess if we proceed from the fact that he lived a few centuries, you can shoot a sequel titled “Noah floats again” or “Noah again in the seas”. I do not know how we’ll do it, but if there is demand, there will be a supply.

You’ve asked The Pope to see Noah. What reaction did you expect from him?

The new Pope showed that he is an unusual man. So I was waiting for a good response, because I think that our Noah is a very important event for all Christians.

In the film, Noah is depicted as a vegetarian. How about you?

The director is vegetarian. He is also an activist for animal welfare, which is reflected in his films. I’m a farmer and my farm animals are grown to be eaten. And I personally prefer a good steak.

Every year we see several films about the end of the world. What do you think will happen? ’’ I have two kids, so I would not even think about the end of the world and the Apocalypse. I like to think of a happy future for my children. n 52

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I also felt the film did a good job of making us understand why God had to flood the earth. It wasn’t because He was evil and heartless – quite the opposite. It’s because

Damaris are well prepared to use this film for good too. As always they have made great resources for Christians to use, to encourage conversation and to encourage people to look at the story this art is inspired by.

Niko Tavernise © MMXIV Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Entertainment (USA), Inc.

The film has proved controversial. It was banned from being shown in Qatar, Bahrain and the UAE before being released.

A highlight however is that the film doesn’t shy away from the story of creation. The audience is told clearly the story of Adam and Eve – of how man sinned and fell short of God’s intentions for creation.

While I started by reading my Bible, my hope is that non-Christians will end by picking up theirs. I hope they won’t be naive enough to take Hollywood’s word on this short but powerful story. I hope this film makes them think about who made them and what His plan is for individuals and the world as a whole.

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BEN OKAFOR

Window in a Dark Sky Ben Okafor spent his early teens living in a war zone, now he uses this experience to help others through performing arts.

BY STACEY HAILES

I

n 1967 Biafra declared independence. What should have been a time to rejoice soon became a time to flee as a civil war began.

This war lasted two and a half years and saw over one million innocent people die.

Ben Okafor was among the civilians whose life got turned upside down. He was just 12 years old, but while many of us would struggle to recall what happened when we were younger, Ben cannot get the scars of growing up in a war zone out of his mind.

“AT THAT AGE I WAS REALLY ADVENTUROUS, ONE OF THOSE KIDS WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS INVINCIBLE.” “I didn’t actually know that the war was going to break out until we had compulsory holidays,” Ben explains. “Then I started seeing refugees coming back to my part of Nigeria.

“All the people from my part of Nigeria, who were working in other parts of the country, were coming home as refugees – as if to say they were being persecuted where they lived.

Soon after that there were all these bombings.”

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Joining the Boys’ Company Early in the civil war, Ben’s home city fell into the hands of Nigerian troops. This meant Ben and his family had to become refugees too.

They moved about 30 miles from their home.

In this new village Ben noticed kids his own age in uniform. “I always kind of admired them. In my head it was such a cool thing to do. At that age I was really adventurous, one of those kids who would do anything because I thought I was invincible,” he laughs.

“The thing that actually turned around for me though was when my Dad and I would run into the forest because the whole village was taking refuge as it was being bombed. I was running with my Dad, deeper and deeper, and then eventually I looked up at him and I thought, I’ve never seen this expression on your face before. He was actually scared. And that was something that hit me for the very first time in my life.

“I thought, I really don’t like how this leaves me feeling – whoever has caused this I am going to try and see what I can do to get them back. So I enlisted.”

Knowing that his parents were not going to stand for it, Ben would sneak out in the day to train at the nearest army camp and then go back home in the afternoon to do his chores.

The training took a couple of weeks and he kept it secret the whole time. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

The training wasn’t like the stereotypical

image of a child soldier holding a gun. Ben explains: “The African government did not want people my age carrying guns. So, what they did was, they trained them as spies. The training you had was how to protect yourself, defend yourself without guns, and also how to listen to conversations being had by your enemies.” Ben’s platoon was called the Boys’ Company.

In effect the young boys were taught how to be captured by their enemies and taken back to their camp. “Your job would be to listen to the instructions that were being given by their commanders and find out how big their army was, what kind of air support they’ve got, how many tanks they’ve got and all that stuff. Once you’ve documented all that in your mind, you then escape and report what’s going on.”

On the last day of his training Ben’s commanding officer, who was 15 years old, told the team they were going to be shipped out to the war front the next day. “He said: ‘All who have kept this secret from your parents should make sure they know what is happening and where you are going’.” Ben went home to his parents and said: “Look, tomorrow I am being shipped out.” He was then given all kinds of talks and speeches from all the elders of the village telling him he was too young to be a soldier.

“Eventually my Dad got up and said: ‘Look, I don’t think we can talk him out of this, he has made his mind up, I think we should let him go’. So, he got his wallet out of his pocket and gave me a five‐pound note. He said: ‘Don’t spend this money, keep it safe and only use it when you change your mind. If you decide to come home, get on a bus and come and find us.

Use this to get yourself back here’. My Mum just went absolutely berserk.”

The next day Ben was meant to meet his platoon at their rendezvous point at midday.

His Mum was still beside herself though, so Ben’s older brother asked him to comfort her before he left. During this time he looked at the clock and realised he was going to miss his rendezvous. “I was running late, it was going to take me longer than I had to get there. So I ran off and went straight to the place but they had been and gone. They left me a note saying: ‘Don’t be late tomorrow, there will be another shipment. Be here at noon’.”

That afternoon Ben learned that his entire platoon had been captured. All the boys – aged 12 and 13 – had their eyes dug out and were sent back to Biafra. It was a lucky escape. After that event the African government completely demobilized the Boys’ Company. f

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BEN OKAFOR

“Those that were old enough joined the regular army and the boys that were not old enough to do that were sent home,” Ben explains. “I was sent home.”

“YOU SIT IN THE SAME PLACE, PRAYING YOUR SOCKS OFF THAT IT WILL STOP.” Although Ben was no longer going to work on the war front, he was still living in a war zone.

This season of his life was terrifying. Soldiers would come to the village and kill everybody in sight. “A lot of people, especially in the West, only experience wars on television. They don’t actually know what it feels like to hear the explosions of bombs for real, they don’t know what it feels like to hear gunfire and see a jet fly above you and all of a sudden hear explosions.

“You sit in the same place, praying your socks off that it will stop. You live your life ruled by fear, for your own life and the people that you love. The whole experience is about fear and your own human instinct kicks in, which gives you something that is a hope of survival. That enables you to carry on with whatever life you’ve got in that situation.” In this terrible time everybody had to do what he or she could to get by. Ben managed to find work in a refugee camp.

Long way from home Now Ben is a long way from home. The war ended in 1970 and in 1979 Ben came over to the UK to study.

“The war left a print in my mind that I have found really difficult to shake. When I came over here I wasn’t aware of what the war had actually done to me. I didn’t realise that in actual fact I had lost a very significant part of

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my life – my early teens. I lost all that. I had to live a life that was more like an adult. I don’t think anybody should be put through that.”

Soon after settling into the Midlands, Ben formed a band that played reggae music. He performed at the likes of Greenbelt festival and it wasn’t long until he released an album.

In 1985 he recorded his first album that was produced by Bob Lamb. Following that he performed at many Christian festivals and Ben’s commitment to social justice also led to him touring as part of Make Poverty History.

His music tells stories of his experiences and each song contains a fascinating account. His unique style has been supported by big names including Bono and Chris Rea. As music has helped Ben express his past, he now uses the arts to help others with their futures.

Pain to compassion “I have found it extremely difficult to separate myself from human struggle,” Ben shares. “I find it very hard to write songs that some people might describe as disposable. So the songs I write are usually about real life stories that I pick up from wherever I go around the world.

“Eventually I decided to set up a charity. The charity is called Amaka Beautiful Child and it enables young people to use the arts to discover their own voices and tell their own stories. Everyone has a story to tell. It doesn’t have to be horrible stories about wars. Usually we try to aim at things that people feel are not just. So looking at unjust issues. We try to get people to write plays, poems, songs, to express their views on those things.” The charity goes in to schools to do this.

“What we have found in doing it that way is a lot of kids who are perhaps violent in the expression of their thoughts, have actually discovered they can express themselves artistically rather than violently. And they have always chosen without fail to leave the

violence out and choose their voices.”

A highlight for Ben was when he visited a youth detention centre. There he brought posters of child soldiers to show the kids. At first their reaction was like Ben’s when he was a child, “wow!” Then Ben picked up the image of the youngest soldier and asked everyone to guess how old he was. They all said over 18.

When Ben revealed to them he was actually nine, they no longer thought it was cool. “They all got so upset,” Ben recalls. “These kids got so angry and I said stop, stop. Can you write down what you are feeling right now?

“A lot of them couldn’t write, or if they could they didn’t have confidence, they were too embarrassed. So we had someone sit with each one of them and write down their feelings for each one of them and eventually we turned all of that in to a play. Now for me, the reason that stands out is because in a prison like that one, you go in and you think you are going to be meeting kids who don’t care about anybody and all of a sudden you couldn’t fault them.

Images of people that could have been their younger siblings, all of a sudden they felt a responsibility. They started thinking ‘this is wrong’.

“There is always some window in a dark sky. I find enlightening young people about what is happening to people their age in other parts of the world really interesting.”

Looking ahead Ben and his charity are currently embarking on a campaign for global primary education to be made free. This is one of the millennium goals, which should hopefully be achieved by the year 2015. “The UN have done a lot of work and they have achieved a lot, but there are still millions of kids around the world who cannot access primary education. A lot of these kids are girls because the brothers, especially in countries and communities where life is really difficult, get the opportunity to get education over their sisters. The sisters just get shoved in to some kind of family business. Everybody in the family will work to pay the brothers’ school fees because it may be rubbish but you still got to pay. So girls are usually exempt from school.

Now my question is always ‘how do you know, that the person you have chosen to keep in school, is the right person to keep in school’?

“You can’t answer that question, so that means we should give all kids the opportunity to learn, giving them the key to unlock their own futures. So this campaign is to try and support what the UN is doing and see how far we can get with it.” As part of this campaign the charity is going to release an EP. Ben says: “We all inhabit this planet. We all have great hopes for our kids. On the day that we were born, there was a great celebration amongst our families. And whether our lives have actually worked out in the way our families hoped or not, that celebration was meant. We are not here because we are here; we are here because we are together here.

“Living here knowing I am not on my own is something that we should all think about. The support that people give to the work that I do and the work that my charity does is something that I really am grateful for. So I would like to say thank you for reading.” n

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ROGER MOORE

The Saint Gets Sorted Duncan Williams went to Launceston College as a boy, the same school as his Bond film hero Sir Roger Moore. Duncan admits to being a lifelong 007 film fanatic, so was delighted when Cornish based biographer Frank Worrall invited him to meet the man who played Bond more times than any other actor.

T

he children huddled together to keep warm in the cold carriages, anxious and frightened as they waited for the train to finally pull out of London, taking them on a journey into the dark unknown. The evacuees had tearfully waved their goodbyes to parents standing helplessly on the platform and now they sat back in their seats, most rigid with fear at the prospect of what awaited them when they finally disembarked at their journey’s end.

Many, the girls in particular, were too scared and too upset to even talk to each other. The boys were frightened too, but they eased the pain by conjuring up images of exciting adventures and clandestine encounters. In their minds, they weren’t simply being evacuated to the coast to avoid the German bombs that would rain down on the English capital. No, they were spies on special assignments. On their way to save their country and their families from disaster as World War Two prepared to tighten its destructive hold on mankind.

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“I’D HAVE LOVED TO HAVE PLAYED LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, AND I’D HAVE LOVED TO HAVE BEEN AS TALENTED AS PETER O’TOOLE.” For one boy especially, the evacuations – with the train windows blacked out and service personnel on board – would come to play a pivotal role in his life. Young Roger Moore, from Stockwell in South London, had always been a boy with a vivid imagination. A boy who would see adventure, intrigue and wonder around every corner.

He was intelligent, articulate and despite his relatively poor background, often impressed his teachers with his stories. He wanted to do something with his life. It was his imagination and vivid mind that would hold the key to Roger’s dreams. f

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REX/Moviestore Collection

ROGER MOORE

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REX/Everett Collection

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As the train pulled out of London on that sombre day in 1939, the boys in Roger’s carriage spoke in whispered tones as though they were undercover agents on a secret mission. Roger could never have imagined how the spy‐ movie atmospherics of that ominous train journey as an 11‐year‐old boy would, ironically, one day mirror his most striking role as the world‐renowned actor he was to become. Certainly he never thought of acting as a profession back then. His teachers had him marked down as a potential artist and it would be his talent with a brush and easel that would land him a place at Battersea Grammar School.

Nevertheless, acting it would be and Roger would become one of the most famous men on the planet in the roles of Simon Templar and James Bond. That train journey as an evacuee would have another major influence on him as he and the other children disembarked, frightened and lost. In later life, he would throw all his efforts into helping vulnerable children as a UNICEF ambassador.

As an evacuee, Roger’s story is unusual in that he was evacuated twice, to two separate coastal destinations.

The first time was when he boarded that train to Worthing in Sussex. He was “deposited” with a “nice family” but was homesick. When his policeman father, George, visited him and saw how low his spirits were that was the end of the matter. “To be an 11‐year‐old evacuee, away from mum and dad, sick and alone – that was the end. My father visited me, took one look at my misery and carted me back home,” Roger shares.

George then sent Roger and his mother Lillian to stay in Chester but as no bombs had dropped on London by 1940, the duo returned home only for Roger to have to be evacuated again when London was blitzed. In the summer of 1941, he was packed away on a train to Bude in Cornwall, where he and two other evacuees stayed on a farm. He enjoyed life on the farm, swimming in the Tamar River and eating savoury delicacies such as blackberry and apple pie with clotted cream.

However, studying at Launceston College was not to his taste. “I can’t say that I liked Launceston College, possibly because I was expected to study hard. I wrote to my parents begging to come home and adding that I’d happily cycle all the way back to London as I only had sixpence and that would not buy a train ticket,” he says.

In fact, it was a scam to get his parents to feel sorry for him – he didn’t even have a bike! It worked a treat as the ticket for the train journey back to London promptly arrived from them in the post.

The war ended and things returned to normality for the Moore family with Roger enjoying a “happy childhood”. When he left school he had only really

excelled in art and considered a career as an animator or a diagram artist. “I wasn’t very good at much in school to be honest, except maybe art which I just got by with,” he says. “I only wish I’d paid more attention and maybe had the chance to go on to university.”

The man who would become one of the world’s most famous actors eventually “fell into it by accident” after he took on some work as an extra in the movie Caesar and Cleopatra in 1945. He was spotted by a talent scout and went to study at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA). He then starred in plays at the Cambridge Arts Theatre, was “seduced by MGM” and the rest as they say is history as he first became known for his role as Simon Templar in the hit TV series “The Saint” and then on to riches and worldwide fame as the man he affectionately dubs, “Jimmy Bond”.

Roger took on the role of 007 in 1973 with Live And Let Die and stayed in the ejector seat right up to 1985’s A View To A Kill. That made him the longest‐serving Bond and, at 58, the oldest in that 1985 swansong. His favourite Bond movie? “I feel The Spy Who Loved Me is my best, as I felt I owned the part by then,” he says. And which of his predecessor (and close friend) Sean Connery’s did he rate the best? “I’d argue that Goldfinger is perhaps the most perfect of all Sean’s films – it was his third.” And of current Bond, Daniel Craig, Roger recently told his fans: “Daniel blew me away with Casino Royale, but with Skyfall you get the sense that he has really made the part his and all the elements worked brilliantly in bringing it together as the most successful Bond film ever.”

For me, his brilliant Live And Let Die debut with its car chases, New Orleans voodoo and the wonderful Jane Seymour as mysterious clairvoyant and Bond Girl Solitaire, takes some beating. Roger had an amusing anecdote to relate to his fans about that movie regarding his run‐in with alligators on set: “They were a bit too damn close for comfort! I had to film some shots so as it looked ‘real’ on film, but was told not to panic as they moved very slowly. Yes, I thought, but do the alligators know that? Their eyes were the most unnerving aspect; dark and dead. I also made the rather daft decision to wear alligator shoes, little realising they were related to the creatures in that water.” f

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REX/Everett Collection

ROGER MOORE

One characteristic I particularly admire about Roger is his humility. Despite all the wealth and honours he has accumulated, he remains a gentle, generous and compassionate man. Even when asked about his acting abilities, he is more likely to single out someone else from his generation as a more talented soul. For instance he says: “I’d have loved to have played Lawrence of Arabia, and I’d have loved to have been as talented as Peter O’Toole.”

“I HAVEN’T REALLY EVER PLAYED A VILLAIN. I’D LOVE TO THOUGH. MAYBE AS A KILLER IN MIDSOMER MURDERS?”

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REX/Moviestore Collection

Read more tales from Sir Roger Moore’s life in this entertaining book written by the legend himself.

Roger, now 86, is also a master of the art of self‐ deprecation. Now living in Monaco, with homes in Switzerland and the South of France, he still enjoys “a bit of a crack” with his British fans when he tours around the country with his one‐man show. He always begins with the introduction, “The name’s Moore, Roger Moore” and arches one eyebrow after the other in the style he made famous on screen as 007.

He is also one of the only Hollywood stars I know who maintains close contact with his fans by personally replying to their questions on a one‐to‐one basis on his website. He takes time out to do so and should be applauded for it. It shows how important he considers them to have been in his success. Recently he told them his one real unfulfilled ambition on screen was to play a baddie but even then couldn’t resist poking fun at himself. He says: “I wouldn’t mind a baddie part in Dr Who, or better still, the lead in a remake of The Invisible Man – I could phone my dialogue in. Or perhaps I could wander into Downton Abbey as the long‐lost grandfather of someone? I’d enjoy that! No I haven’t really ever played a villain. I’m too good looking, far too nice natured and of course am modest too. I’d love to though. Maybe as a killer in Midsomer Murders?”

He also laughs off the illnesses and operations that have plagued him in recent years. He suffered from prostate cancer in 1993, but the subsequent surgery was successful and, in typical laconic Moore‐style, he described the whole issue as nothing more than a “pain in the arse”. He was also fitted with a pacemaker after collapsing on stage on Broadway in 2003.

And of cosmetic surgery, he denies ever having any, saying with another wistful smile, “cosmetic surgery has of course been around for many decades, and I know a few stars who succumbed to the knife in exchange for thinking they’d appear younger. Being so beautiful myself, I never needed it of course … though does haemorrhoid surgery count?”

But he is not a man to dwell on misfortune, especially as he always reminds himself of how lucky he has been in comparison to some of the world’s most deprived children. Roger is one of the kindest, most compassionate stars in the world of showbiz. His charity work is almost unparalleled and he freely admits the joy and sense of fulfilment he gets at seeing the results of his efforts is more important to him than the numerous acting accolades he has picked up during his career.

He was knighted in 1999 for his efforts as a UNICEF ambassador, travelling the world to raise money for the children who most need it and he considers this work to be his greatest legacy of a life well lived. He explains: “It meant far more to me than if I had got it for acting. I was proud because I received it on behalf of UNICEF as a whole and for all it has achieved over the years.”

He always travels to UNICEF events with his fourth wife Kristina, whom he married in 2002 and calls “the love of my life”. He tells fans, “Kristina always accompanies me on UNICEF work – I couldn’t do it without her.” The work is close to his heart and he says the one thing he believes in more than anything to ease the world’s troubles is the power of education – and that every child on the planet deserves to have one. “There are so many things one could raise, but if I had just one thing to talk about it would be preventable disease and how literacy can prevent it in many cases. Education is all‐important as it teaches people to read, and by reading about things like HIV/AIDS for example means people can take precautions. I believe every child deserves the right to be educated and that would help so many of our problems in the world. I always say ‘give what you can’ when people ask me about UNICEF, be it a donation online or a regular £2 a week.”

And there you have it. Roger Moore: Movie superstar but a man of the people who never forgot where he came from or where he went to as a boy. He’s gone from a frightened war evacuee to a loving, caring real‐life legend and charity icon. A true cinema great – and a wonderful man too. n

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BUSINESS

CHARLES HUMPHREYS

We’re in Business

It’s Never Too Late…

“For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.” – John Greenleaf Whittier.

“It might have been” is a sad description of a life lived without personal fulfilment.

Unfortunately those words will become prophetic if, for whatever reason, you aren’t nourishing your dreams.

What is sadder still is never having even tried because you felt at a certain age it was too late to succeed. Dreams should have no age limit. The great news is that it is never too late to begin to put yourself at the top of your list.

It is never too late to prioritise and do what you’ve always wanted to do. Becoming successful is not limited to one certain age or even one career. In fact, the most successful people are those who have reinvented themselves, tried, failed and tried again.

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1

5

2 3

6

Before going to university, this famous politician spent a year trying to make it as a rock music promoter in London. Who is this person?

A newspaper editor fired him because, “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas”. Who was this person?

This person did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and antisocial. Who was this person?

4

This person was often chastised by his father for being lazy. He himself wrote, “I was considered by all my masters and my father rather below the common standard of intellect”. Who was he?

So, lets redefine the word “failure” as simply “a plan that didn’t work the first time”. It may just need a few tweaks and some perseverance. n Charles is an experienced careers coach and founder of Christian‐based careers coaching service Want2get on? (www.want2geton.co.uk), which offers one‐on‐one careers counselling, workshops and seminars. He wrote The Christian Guide to Jobs and Careers (www.hope4acareer.com), is a busy dad of three young boys and husband to an overworked doctor. He also leads the men’s ministry at Oasis Church in Colliers Wood.

Teachers told this person he was “too stupid to learn anything”. Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Who was this person?

In his youth he went to war a captain and returned a private. He didn’t stop failing there however. He started numerous businesses that failed. Who was this person?

7

She was nearly penniless, severely depressed, divorced, trying to raise a child on her own while attending college and writing a novel. Who is this person?

8

A famous American actor was a deli counter attendant well into his 30s.

Who is this person?

ANSWERS:

“DREAMS SHOULD HAVE NO AGE LIMIT.”

A troubled start – a who’s who quiz

1) Tony Blair 2) Walt Disney 3) Albert Einstein 4) Charles Darwin 5) Thomas Edison 6) Abraham Lincoln 7) JK Rowling 8) Sylvester Stallone

I

magine reaching a point in your life where you looked back over the years and deeply regretted not having done something you wholeheartedly wanted to do. Did you not pursue your dream goal because you put yourself second to everything and everyone else in your life? Or maybe it was because you were afraid to try and became dejected over not being good enough to “make it” immediately.

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BUSINESS

STUART RIVERS

Making Your Mark

The Big Idea

3. Being a disrupter Being a disrupter means making a conscious decision to change the rules of the game you are playing. It means understanding the business model of your own business and that of your competitors and identifying ways of creating competitive advantage by changing certain parameters within the processes, products or people that are core to your business. Perhaps you change the way you develop your products or services to be first to market with value adding features. Or it could be that your distribution model delivers the same product at a lower price in a shorter period of time. It could even be that you find a way to undermine the competition by merging two or more business models to dramatically increase customer value.

“BE A DISRUPTER OR BE PREPARED TO BE DISRUPTED.”

T

here appears to be a business revolution going on. New business models that break all the rules are overtaking traditional businesses that have been the staple of competitive markets. The key? Disruption!

Your business could fall into one of three categories: 1) You are a disrupter 2) Your business is being disrupted 3) The status quo is being maintained. Let’s start by understanding what disruption is.

Disruption is an approach to business that analyses what is going on in a particular market or niche. It then sets about changing something fundamental that impacts the status quo. That something could be the way the business is funded, a change in the distribution model, the fusing together of different businesses or models, or something else yet to be thought of. The point is that whatever disrupts the status quo may be harmful to traditional businesses. And you either have to (eventually) be a disrupter or be prepared to be disrupted.

1. The Status Quo I remember (at the age of 17) being told that a technical apprenticeship with British Telecom would lead to a job for life. Security, good

training, great pension, and lots of opportunities to progress. Five years later I left, took a pay cut and moved to Ericsson, where I spent the next 16 years. Although, I never spent more than a couple of years in any one position as I zigzagged up the organisation to the senior management echelons in various commercial roles.

The simple fact is that you can’t stand still, because static targets are too easy to hit. It’s the same for business owners. If you don’t keep moving, innovating, then someone is going to come along and change the rules of the game you’re playing, disrupt your business model and you’ll be left putting the pieces back in the box. You’ll have seen it happen over and over if you think about it

Take Amazon, for example. Jeff Bezos’ initial decision was to take the traditional business model of bookshops and disrupt it in such a way so as to cause a decline in traditional bookselling. People might complain about the demise of the bricks & mortar bookseller, but Bezos has caused so much disruption that thousands of bookshops around the world have been forced to close. There’s a new way of buying books. He then applied the same principles to DVDs, music and other volume products. The simple fact is that he found a new way of selling and delivering consumer goods – more cheaply, quickly and efficiently.

And the Amazon effect happens in all types of markets, be it consumer or B2B. You might think you’ve got a great business model, but it’s only a matter of time before someone comes along and disrupts it.

So are you a disrupter? n An entrepreneur with a background in marketing and business development, Stuart was recently appointed chief executive of Sailors’ Society, a Christian charity serving the needs of merchant seafarers. He previously spent 15 years at Ericsson, progressing to the role of commercial director in Sweden, before being appointed executive director of Bible Society in 2009. Stuart is a former Salvation Army officer whose parents are commissioners; his great uncle was private secretary to General William Booth. He is married to Carey and has six children and two grandchildren.

2. Being disrupted If your business is suffering, if sales are declining, if you can’t compete on a level playing field, then the chances are that some smart cookie has worked out a way to disrupt your business. You have two choices. Become a disrupter (in which case you need refer to point 3 below) or consider getting a proper job working for a business that is in pole position when it comes to innovation and business design. Go ahead, there are loads to choose from.

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BUSINESS

MATT BIRD

Relationology

Put Yourself at Risk

B

eing professional is about looking, speaking, playing and thinking the part.

However, the cutthroat world of the 1980s is long gone, and – thankfully – today we can allow ourselves to show our more vulnerable side.

Yet vulnerability isn’t just about being open with our peers or superiors. Apologising or admitting failure to a junior colleague – if done in the correct way – can garner respect and be a great example of leadership. In the 1992 US presidential campaign, several comments were made about Clinton’s personal flaws. Instead of putting out a message of denial, Clinton’s advisors told him to play on them and emphasise the importance of being human and vulnerable.

This became known as the Manhattan Project.

Clinton won the campaign and became America’s forty‐second president.

Vulnerability can be as simple as ensuring that we express our humanity by talking (appropriately) about our private lives with people and avoiding projecting ourselves as superhuman. Vulnerability can be discussing how we feel about things, whether personal or professional. It can even be making a self‐

disclosure about our inner world. The key to making vulnerability an asset rather than a liability is understanding what makes for an appropriate level of self‐disclosure based on the stage of the relationship and the context of the conversation.

If that all sounds too much for you, then bear in mind that vulnerability can also be expressed when we say that we don’t know the answer to a question or a query, or whenever we ask for help or admit failure.

“APOLOGISING OR ADMITTING FAILURE TO A JUNIOR COLLEAGUE – IF DONE IN THE CORRECT WAY – CAN GARNER RESPECT AND BE A GREAT EXAMPLE OF LEADERSHIP.” One of the city firms that I work with teaches its team “business intimacy”. This is about building a stronger relationship with trusted clients by bringing your whole self to work.

As writer Rob Parsons once said, “If you share your achievements you can win a contact, but if you share your fears you can make a friend”.

Being vulnerable and putting yourself at risk says to the other person that you trust them and that you want to know them at a deeper, more meaningful level.

Surely this is where we want to be in our relationships? How are you going to get there?

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ACTION: Discuss with someone you are close to, the degree to which you are vulnerable in your relationship – both with them and others. In what ways could you be more open and vulnerable? n Matt Bird helps leaders and organisations build the relationships they need to achieve greater success. He is a keynote speaker, trainer and coach. Get Matt’s FREE ebook at www.relationology.co.uk

This is an excerpt from Matt Bird’s new book “Relationology – 101 Secrets for building your business through the power of relationships”.

If you would like to get five free secrets visit www.relationology.co.uk/secrets

What people are saying about Matt Bird’s new book…

“My friend Matt Bird is a consummate networker and client relationship expert. This very practical book gives you the ‘tips of his trade.”

Jeremy Marshall, CEO of C. Hoare & Co Bank “If you have personal responsibility for winning, keeping or growing new business then you need to read this book.”

Richard Oldfield, Executive Board at PwC “This book has everything you need to make sure your business is the most memorable on the pitch list.”

Cormac Loughran, Chief Marketing Officer at Dentsu Aegis Network

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BUSINESS

MARTIN CARTER

Bolder & Boulder

make me stop and think. From bitter experience I knew I was about to get myself worked up about something I could not change but would leave me simmering and angry for ages. What if I chose instead to believe that they had a good reason for driving like that? To my surprise the rising tide of anger and frustration disappeared, allowing me to get on with my day unaffected by the incident. As I drove on it dawned on me that there were lots of other areas of my life where I ended up getting angry because of the self‐ righteous stories I told myself.

Since then I’ve tried to choose a different story whenever those familiar feelings of indignation and anger start rising, whether it’s in the car, in the office or at home. I’ve lost count of the number of times it’s saved me from a whole load of pointless stress and angst.

“I KNEW I WAS ABOUT TO GET MYSELF WORKED UP ABOUT SOMETHING I COULD NOT CHANGE BUT WOULD LEAVE ME SIMMERING AND ANGRY FOR AGES.”

Who Are You Angry For?

T

he call arrived at midnight. We immediately lifted the kids from their holiday beds in Cornwall, threw a few things in the car and set off driving through the night. My mum had been battling cancer for years but no one had predicted this sudden deterioration. She wasn’t expected to last the night.

Arriving home at five in the morning, I abandoned my wife and kids on our driveway, and continued the dash to the hospital another hour away. Fearing I wouldn’t get there in time, I found myself adopting all the driving

But I still often get it wrong. It often feels like I’m letting someone get one over on me and that cuts against the grain of masculinity.

People might think I’m weak, submissive or even cowardly. But when I look at the issue at stake I invariably find that it only exists in my head, created by the self‐righteous angry stories I tell myself.

Sometimes… but not always. Sometimes we should get angry. Sometimes we must take a stand. Like Jesus did when He turned over the tables and cleared the temple courts. That was righteous anger. It’s easy to kid ourselves that our self‐righteous outbursts are righteous anger, but there’s a big difference. One puts God first, the other puts (your) self first. Anger is justified provided you know who you’re angry for. n Martin Carter has a wife, three children and a desire to become more like the bloke God made him to be. He starts each day vowing to be bolder in his faith and the rest of it tripping up on all the boulders that get in the way. Writing about it helps him remember where he buried them (the boulders, not the family!). You can contact him via www.bolderandboulder.com.

techniques which infuriate me when I’m on the receiving end of them: passing on the inside, pulling into gaps that were perhaps a bit too tight and driving too close to the car in front, willing it to pull over. Thankfully I made it.

Mum died peacefully a short time later.

A week after, a car nipped up my inside and pulled in front of me, causing me to brake. As I started to run the usual pattern of cursing, gesticulating and rehearsing what I would like to say to my offender, a quiet voice in my head said, “perhaps their mum’s dying”. Now I’m not naïve, I know that their mum probably wasn’t dying. But the thought was enough to Sorted. Jul/Aug 2014

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BUSINESS

MARTIN THOMAS

Collective Action

Kiss It Better – Is It Better Yet? “A CHILD’S BELIEF IN THE POWER OF A KISS TO HEAL IS A PRECIOUS GIFT THAT IS LOST AT A COST.”

D

o you remember what it was like to be a child – to believe in the impossible? If as a child you fell over in the park and grazed your knee, did your mum or dad brush you down and kiss it better? Did you sometimes do the same if your parents were in pain, look up and ask, “Is it better yet?”

We all have to grow up, it’s part of life, but sometimes it feels all too soon. A child’s belief in the power of a kiss to heal is a precious gift that is lost at a cost. The cost of the rational trumping faith, the sceptical banishing hope, the reality of hurt overwhelming love.

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The question “is it better yet?” is one of the simplest and yet most profound questions anyone could ask. If you walk in the worlds of the voluntary sector or social enterprise you are likely to have charitable objectives to make something better. If your sphere is more focused around business, corporate social responsibility or philanthropy you’ll increasingly want to ask not‐for‐profit agencies, “how can I ensure that my investment in you is actually going to ‘make it better’?” The Bond development network* summed it up recently by saying: “The bar to prove we achieve what we claim to is being raised ever higher, and NGOs are compelled to respond.”

The way in which we in the third sector spend money entrusted to us has to be transparent. But it also has to be intelligent, contextual, innovative and sometimes even risky if we are to find the best possible ways to bring change – to “kiss it better”. Sadly charities can sometimes come across as both overly optimistic about their results and defensive about the real cost of their work.

This is due in part to a widespread public belief that a low percentage overhead equals an effective organisation.

Every year Viva conducts a Network Health

Check. This global self‐assessment tool helps our 34 community networks to analyse their effectiveness and put in place strategies for improvement for the following year. It also helps to measure the level of reach Viva has through the many collective action programmes we support. It’s inspiring stuff and I was able to see some of the results for myself recently in a little corner of Delhi.

Meeting the boys and girls whose lives have been transformed through faith, hope and love helped turn the one‐dimensional statistics into glorious 3D life!

How do you measure the impact of the money you give to charity? Do you examine annual accounts, ask questions about sustainability, impact and lasting change?

Have you been able to visit to see for yourself?

Or do you go on the trust of a well‐written story of hope and of a kiss that can simply make it better for today? However you use the resources you have been given, a wise investment can go a very long way. n *Bond is the UK membership body for non‐ governmental organisations (NGOs) working in international development: www.bond.org.uk.

Martin Thomas heads up Viva’s mobilisation offices in the UK, North America and Hong Kong (www.viva.org/invest).

He is a writer, a trustee of The Bless Network and a novice barista. He and his family live in Witney, Oxfordshire.

Viva – together for children Unit 8, The Gallery, 54 Marston Street, Oxford, OX4 1LF, UK Registered Charity No. 1053389 Registered in England No. 3162776

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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ADVICE

SMART TALK

With Dr Richard Scott, Jojo Meadows and Richard Taylor OUR EXPERTS

Richard Scott has worked as a surgeon, GP and evangelist in England, India and parts of Africa. His wife Heather is also a doctor and the couple have three daughters. Sport is a passion for Richard, interspersed more recently with writing, which developed during treatment for bowel cancer.

Sponsored by Christian Single Mix

Time to Reflect I’ve been struggling for a long time with a thought process. Is masturbating wrong? The church says yes, yet medical science would disagree saying that it helps avoid testicular cancer. What would you say?

On the issue of masturbation there is a division among many Christians as to its nature. The act itself would not constitute sin yet the related aspect of fantasy often plays a part, leaving the person thinking of sexual acts and desires that the Bible says are wrong. I’ve yet to meet a person who can do it with a clean mind!

RT

RS The Bible talks about sex loads.

Jojo Meadows is passionate about spreading God’s word in an original way. She trained as a counsellor and helped to run a crisis centre in Solihull before being headhunted

by Connexions to develop courses for senior schools.

Jojo has been through many life-changing experiences including anorexia, teenage pregnancy, rape and cervical cancer. This motivated her to help others who are struggling through difficult circumstances.

Emphasising fidelity between marriage partners, it condemns all other varieties of intercourse, with masturbation not specifically referred to as a variety of sexual immorality.

Add to that the possibility that it may reduce prostatic (not testicular) cancer, used judicially; it may even turn out to be a good thing for those in whom marital sex is impossible.

Certainly, it can relieve sexual tension. So as long as it doesn’t become an obsession or an idol, I see no problem with it.

Many individuals within the church, particularly teens, have been taught that masturbation is seriously wrong and suffer from immense guilt when they do it. On the other hand, many sources of sexual information recommend masturbation for males because it lowers their incidence of prostate

JM

cancer later in life and females because it can relieve menstrual cramps. I personally believe that masturbation is up to the individual, but my question is, who are you thinking of whilst doing it? If it’s diverting your mind from wholesomeness and purity, then I would reflect and work with your own conviction. these behavioural patterns don’t rise up again and destroy something that could be perfect.

You’re suffering from a poor self‐

RT image and probably need to ask

yourself, where does this stem from? I think before you enter into future relationships you need to start valuing and loving yourself first, otherwise these insecurities will ruin your relationships in the future.

Founding pastor of Victory Church in Cwmbran, Richard Taylor is a church leader and author. For many years, Richard has been impacting lives with his down-to-earth humour, passion and genuine love for God and people. Along with his wife Jill and their four sons, Richard founded the church in January 2010 and it has since grown into a vibrant congregation.

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You’ll never change/be good enough/adequate is one of the devil’s nastiest ploys. The truth is, God made everything good, but in gifting us differently, He warns us not to compare ourselves with others. Please remember that you bring yourself to a relationship, not someone else and you need to thank Him for who you are!

Ask Him to forgive your past mistakes and praise Him for all He’s provided.

As you do so, you’ll grow in confidence so that your future will not be determined by your past.

RS

Feelings of inferiority are causing all my relationships to fail. I never feel good enough.

I feel I will never meet the expectations of their last love. Then jealousy and insecurity kicks in, causing me to push them away. What is wrong with me?

JM It sounds like you have been

hurt badly in the past, which in turn is causing you to project your hurts and negative past upon the relationship. There is nothing wrong with you, but you need to give yourself time and fully free yourself from all of your angst. You need proper counseling and to reflect on your behaviours so that

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ADVICE My ex-wife has a new partner.

I have joint residency with my three children and they have come back and told me how much they love him and want to call him Dad too. I feel sick to my stomach and don’t want another man taking my role or name. What’s the best way to deal with this?

RS This is really painful. Sadly,

you can’t stop your kids calling him Dad. Instead, when you see them, concentrate on being the best true Dad that you can. When they’re old enough, they should then be able to distinguish you – their biological father – from their step‐dad. You can only change what’s in your power and your frustration and sense of powerlessness is clear. But whatever life situation we find ourselves in, what matters (and what we can control) is our reaction. No matter how unpalatable, managed well, you can still turn this situation around in the end.

Talking to your ex wife is the first point of call. Find out if your wife has instigated it or if the children have naturally warmed to him. It is so important that the children are protected and although you hurt deeply, divorce has such an

JM

impact on children causing all sorts of confusion, guilt and blame! You also need to hear your children out, they know you are their daddy and you will never be replaced!

Communication is key, you need to speak with your ex partner and your children and let them know how you feel. You also need to hear them out too. The truth is he will never take your place as their Dad and never allow yourself to become bitter as this will affect you more and your children may begin to respond better to your ex‐ partner’s new man than you. Open and honest communication is what you need to attempt to share your feelings and hear theirs.

RT

CONTACT US: Got a problem and need an answer?

Email: jo@sorted-magazine.com or write to: Smart Talk, Sorted Magazine, PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 6WX

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ADVICE

JONATHAN SHERWIN

Big Questions

be certain? Well, simply because He said so.

You see, God’s promise is as good as His action.

He promised a 99 year old childless man a massive family and Abe became the father of millions. Years later he promised rescue to that same people now slaves in Egypt and came through (via some divisive sea action and a few stalling chariots, see Exodus 14). In fact, the warrior Joshua tells us that “not one of all the LORD’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled” (21:45). And God didn’t stop there; he promised a Messiah, a King who would one day rule over all things. A Passover lamb who would take on himself the sin of the world, then a returning King who would rule forever. Today, when the shelf life of a messiah is months rather than decades (see Moyes, Keegan, Obama, Cameron et al.) it seems naïve to place certain hope in a chap who’s been seemingly absent for 2,000 years. But history says otherwise. When Jesus hung on the cross, history taught His disciples to trust that this was the not the end. History teaches us that what looked like an epic fail was the most glorious fulfillment of God’s promise. He has guaranteed victory; He is coming again.

Historical fact says so; deal with it.

“GOD’S PROMISE IS AS GOOD AS HIS ACTION.”

Victor of History

H

ere’s my guess fellas, as you read these words England’s World Cup has recently come to a humiliating and premature end. I’m writing well in advance and am by no means a prophet, but I don’t think it would take Elijah to work out that the Three Lions will have been reduced to timid kittens before the end of the group stages. I’m sure the newspapers loved it; “What a Wayne to Roon our Summer!”, “His Hart’s just not in it” and the exceptional “Shaw‐ ly not! England Roo‐end in Brazil as Hods‐on favourites crash out!” Come‐on, let’s be honest, we all saw it coming.* Now, before you all jump at me with your leftover vuvuzelas and attempt to throttle me with your Euro ’96 scarves, let me explain. I have been forever optimistic about the England football team. Each new side was going to be “the one”; even Trevor Sinclair’s inclusion couldn’t dampen my hopes. But my faith was badly placed and time and time again the boys in white let me down. So I’ve given up on blind optimism. Sure, I’ll pull on the shirt and sing the songs, I’ll watch every game and cheer every goal and wince at each tackle. But history teaches me that it will all end in Gazza’s, Southgate’s, Gerrard’s and probably my own tears.

History tells me that England will always go out on penalties, that pulling on an England

jersey is the football equivalent of chopping off your left leg and wearing a blindfold, that Gerrard and Lampard should never play together and that the World Cup does crazy things to brilliant English goalkeepers. No cups will be coming home this summer, just a few broken mugs.

But when I look to history I also see that some things can be guaranteed to succeed. God is guaranteed as the victor of history, His people will chant his name and every person who ever lived will bow the knee. How can we

So, as you sit there with your head in your hands after another appalling performance by England in the World Cup, I will leave you with the ever‐quotable words of theologian Lesslie Newbigin. “I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. Jesus Christ is risen from the dead.” That’s Christian realism; that’s a no‐so‐ dead cert, a Hods on favourite. *If England are still in the World Cup at this stage, please see www.sorted‐magazine.com for my public apology and a hastily rewritten article – it’s unlikely though, isn’t it?! n Jonathan lives in Oxford where he runs Latimers, a place for people to challenge and investigate the Christian faith. He graduated from the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics and now works as an itinerant evangelist which involves co‐leading CVM’s Demolition Squad. Join the conversation online at www.jonathansherwin.net.

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OPINION

JON COBB

Money

Pursuit of Happiness

T

he richest country in the world is Qatar. That country you had probably never heard of before they successfully bid to host the 2022 World Cup. In the past 100 years, revenues from oil and gas have turned the fortunes of this impoverished nation right round. In Qatar, education, healthcare, water and electricity are all free. But there’s plenty of evidence to suggest this abundance of resources is coming at a price. As I read in a BBC article, divorce rates stand at 40%, and two thirds of Qataris are obese. Comfort eating? Why? The average income is £60,000 so there’s an incentive to work, but families are becoming fragmented as the kids are typically being brought up by nannies from other countries, creating a wider generation gap as the younger reject established traditions.

Here in the UK, a think tank called the Legatum Institute publishes an annual Prosperity Table which incorporates traditional economic wealth indicators with measurements of wellbeing and life satisfaction. The result of this potent mix is that we should all get the ferry to Oslo.

The average Norwegian gets drunk six out of every eleven times they drink, while the Dutch get drunk four out of every 24 times (who 74

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compiles this data?). It really is becoming a major problem even though it’s not a cheap country and “alcohol abuse is on the point of becoming a national sickness” according to psychiatrist Dr Ole Johan Hedberg.

Obese Quatarians?

Binge drinking Norwegians?

Happiness or prosperity in the true sense of the word cannot be achieved by having an abundance of cash. Instead the Legatum Institute advises us that prosperity is a “holistic thing that must be nurtured over the

generations and which is greatly influenced by factors like climate, culture, geography, natural resources and luck”.

On the contrary, how about this? In Proverbs 16 the old King James Version of the Bible simply says: “Whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.”

That is a simple truth which I try and build my life upon. My faith gives me purpose, direction and perspective. I don’t always get it right and I have a propensity to make selfish “train wreck” choices every so often, but overall I am happy to stick my neck out and say that in the pursuit of happiness, I have discovered it has very little to do with financial prosperity and everything to do with trusting in God. Are we pursuing materialistic goals under the unfounded illusion that this is going to make us happy? Maybe it will in the short term. Certainly if England lifted the trophy we’d all be a lot happier; but back in 1966 it didn’t last too long – our next game we lost 3‐2 to the auld enemy Scotland. That hurt and it’s still hurting 48 years later! n Jon Cobb runs financial advisory business Trinity Wealth Management. He is a keen runner, ex‐white‐collar boxer, passionate Portsmouth supporter, speaker and writer.

Check out Jon’s blog: cobbiescollectivecontemplations.blogspot.co.uk and follow him on Twitter: @CobbyJon.

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OPINION

RICHARD HARDY

Family

Take Time Together

S

ome time ago I worked for a wonderful charity called Care for the Family as part of the National Speaking Team. I was involved in a marriage event with my good friend Katherine Hill called “It Takes Two”.

As part of the UK tour we held Church Leader Lunchtime events and spoke to hundreds of people in the evenings. Anyone who tours will tell you many weird and wonderful things happen when you’re “on the road”.

On one occasion we were speaking to a group of church leaders and their spouses. One of the points we were stressing was how important it was to find time for one another as a married couple. As we were speaking I suddenly remembered an incident in the life of a friend that I had not used before and have never used since – until now!

I told his story because I wanted to point out that there will always be people and pressures that, if not combated, will conspire to mess up our relationship.

My friend, a young recently married pastor who had started working with his first church, had discovered to his annoyance that one elderly lady in the church saw it as her duty to keep him on his toes.

So every Wednesday morning, his day off, she would knock on his door at 9.00am just to make sure he wasn’t still in bed!

However on one occasion she happened to pass the house on a Wednesday at six o’clock

The minute it was out of my mouth I knew it was the wrong thing to say not just because of the reaction of the audience, some of whom seemed to leave rather too eagerly for my liking. Some of my team stood with mouths open, others wept with laughter.

Katharine Hill, my colleague, nearly fell off her stool and after the event she said to me, “Boy are we going to get some complaints after that little aside!” But much to her frustration we, or I should say I, didn’t!

Why? Simply because no matter how ill advised or inappropriate the story may have been, it struck a chord.

In the busyness of family and work life how often do we make time to invest in intimacy?

How often do we take the time to talk, hug, kiss and hang out together? The truth is not often enough and even when we do have the time we don’t always have the energy.

So here’s my advice, find the time, if necessary carve it out, don’t allow anyone or anything to steal it from you – have coffee, walk in the park, or you could go home and… n in the evening, and she noticed that the curtains were drawn upstairs and the lights were out. So being the conscientious church member she was, she rang the doorbell.

Nothing happened. So she rang it again for a long time.

Then she heard the stomp, stomp, stomp of feet coming down the stairs. The bolt was drawn and the Pastor popped his head out. What he had failed to remember was that his front door was made entirely of frosted glass and all the woman could see was that he was butt‐naked!

Richard Hardy is a Baptist minister and director of the Entheos Trust, which encourages leaders and enables churches to engage with their communities. Richard has spoken on community engagement, marriage and parenting at many national conferences. He has also written extensively on community and family issues (www.theentheostrust.org).

“THERE WILL ALWAYS BE PEOPLE AND PRESSURES THAT, IF NOT COMBATED, WILL CONSPIRE TO MESS UP OUR RELATIONSHIP.” The story told got a bit of a titter and made what I thought was the very valid point that one shouldn’t allow the demands of the job to get in the way of intimacy with your spouse.

After telling the story we had to wind up and it was my job to close the proceedings.

Wanting to create a smooth transition from content to close I said, “Listen guys, you are away from your place of work. No one knows where you are so why not spend the afternoon together? You could go for a coffee or better yet go home and get naked!”

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OPINION

SAM GIBB

Faith

Double Take

“C

ontent plus context equals meaning.” While I may have forgotten much about “Prohibition America” from my A‐Level History class, these words still rattle around my mind. This maxim (another word I learnt in that class) of course rings true not just for a history essay, but for nearly everything in life.

For example, my first trip to the United States reinforced this point well. “Football”, “cider”, “pants”, “biscuits” etc. When making the jump across the ocean, familiar words take on new identities faster than Clark Kent could ever change costumes. I found that it is entirely possible to have a conversation where you and the other party are using the same terms and yet are talking about something completely different.

Of course, we don’t have to cross borders for this to happen. My friend was once engaged in polite conversation with a senior member of the Royal Navy at some fancy evening event.

Somehow or another the conversation turned to piracy, which both my friend and the top brass noted was a very real problem. A spirited conversation then ensued and it was only after five minutes or so that it dawned on my mate that perhaps they were talking about different subjects. It turns out that the potential strategies for dealing with DVD fraudsters and Somalian armed gangs are strikingly similar!

Getting to the crux of a matter requires us to both hear what is being said about an issue and then also to understand what is meant by what is being said. Understanding this distinction and comprehending the context, is at the heart

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of good communication. Good listeners repeat back what they have heard, to check and see that their take reflects the intentions of the person making the statement.

The reason why misunderstandings occur is that we see the world and all the information therein through our own eyes and fail to realise that other people see things differently. When I hear a statement about something, the words that my ears pick up are run through my mind’s collected experiences and training.

The words I hear are also run through my emotions. We all hear through a contextual filter.

This applies to everything. The way that I view the world – my worldview – is entirely unique. It is a combination of millions of shaping influencers and factors. It shares many things in common with my friends, my family, my countrymen – but the nuanced version of the way that I see the world is my very own.

All the big questions of life pass through our worldview. Questions of meaning, hope, destiny, love etc. What you hear when I say “Jesus Christ” depends entirely on your worldview. You could hear “prophet”, “hoax”, “myth”, “good man” or “God”, to name a few.

The above answers can’t all be true however – Jesus can’t be both a myth and a good man, for example – so some people’s worldviews can be faulty. They need to be updated. Assumptions need to be suspended, the content re‐visited and the context re‐evaluated.

Christianity invites this investigation. It wants to be examined. It is rich in both content and context. It is a faith based on evidence, not a blind leap and certainly not a hasty assumption.

“JESUS CAN’T BE BOTH A MYTH AND A GOOD MAN.” Perhaps in this way faith in Jesus Christ deserves a second glance, a double take. Don’t miss the meaning of the message of Christianity because of a deficient worldview constructed from assumptions. It doesn’t work well for essays; it’s potentially tragic for life. n Sam Gibb is a twenty‐something currently living in London and working at All Souls, Langham Place. His passion is to present the message and teachings of Jesus to men in a way that makes sense to them. He has written a series of Bible studies aimed at lads on topics such as comedy, war and sport. Sam’s heroes are the apostle Paul, Alan Shearer and Garfield, though not necessarily in that order. You can follow him on Twitter at @samggibb.

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OPINION

LYNDON BOWRING

Politics

Abortion – Who Decides?

I

f every man were to face up to their responsibility as father to their unborn child, the rates of abortion would plummet. Most women would be persuaded to continue an unplanned pregnancy if they knew their partner would stand by them. Since the 1967 Act was passed, over 7.5 million babies have been lost through abortion in the UK. We effectively have abortion on demand in this country despite important safeguards enshrined in the law. A major factor in many cases is men demanding/suggesting/agreeing to a termination of pregnancy. There are also those who grieve because they desperately wanted their child to live but could not stop the mother from having an abortion.

Abortion is an extremely sensitive subject, infrequently spoken about, but something that often affects women and men very deeply.

It’s important for us to offer clear information,

care and support for people facing crisis pregnancies or who need to talk after an abortion has taken place – sometimes years later. There are trained volunteers in centres all over Britain providing this freely to anyone wanting a “safe place” to think things through.

You can find one locally on Google.

Before 1967, the options were to keep the baby, allow another couple to adopt or have an illegal abortion. David Steele MP introduced his Abortion Bill largely because many women felt desperate enough to risk unregulated and dangerous “back street” abortions. The Act had no intention of making abortion legal; it just dealt with extreme situations – when there was real risk to woman’s life or health. A number of MPs who supported the Bill in 1967 have since said that if they had known what would happen they would never have voted it in.

One crucial clause in the Abortion Act says that two doctors must see a woman to confirm

that the specific legal grounds for an abortion are met and sign a form verifying their decision. The Government restated this measure in 1999 but a recent Freedom of Information request has revealed that dozens of doctors have pre‐signed abortion referral forms without ever seeing the patient.

Obviously they could know nothing whatsoever about a pregnant patient attending the clinic weeks, months or even years later.

The Care Quality Commission investigated the situation in 2012 but although allegations were made against 67 doctors, the General Medical Council closed every case. At some clinics, inspectors found piles of pre‐signed forms – in one case by someone who had left four years before! Not a single person has been called to account, referred to the police or struck off the medical register. Health Minister Earl Howe and Public Health Minster Jane Ellison MP have both confirmed that pre‐signing abortion referral forms is a clear breach of the law and are calling for action.

“IF THEY HAD KNOWN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE VOTED IT IN.” Meanwhile, there are moves afoot to further liberalise access to abortion. Despite Earl Howe and Jane Ellison MP denouncing illegal form signing, the Department of Health is considering changing their policy to make abortion even easier. They may decide that doctors no longer need to see the patient but just form a judgement based on information passed on to them by other staff. CARE is monitoring this situation and working closely with Parliamentarians and others to ensure that the law is justly upheld.

Abortion is serious as it is destroying unborn human beings made in God’s image. Although many see it as the most practical, if difficult, solution to an unwanted pregnancy it is also likely to cause physical, emotional and ethical problems to women and men, doctors, nurses and other medical professionals and to society as a whole. It is a topic that needs to be thought about and certainly needs to be talked about. n Lyndon Bowring was born in Wales and studied at London Bible College. He is an associate minister at Kensington Temple, and has been executive chairman of CARE for more than 25 years. His hobbies include watching rugby, exploring London’s restaurants and developing friendships. He lives in London with his wife Celia, and they have three children.

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OPINION

LEE AND BAZ

Cut to the Chase

What’s Really Important?

I know even when I’m at work speaking about motivation or presentation skills I’m helping people perform better, but I always have that in context. We all have work to do, but if I ever thought my work life became the only love of my life, I’d be in trouble. Let’s enjoy and succeed in our work life – but let’s not forget what is really important.

If you’re a goal setting type of person then don’t forget to set family and relationship goals too. I have found that when our relationships are at the top of our agenda, everything else seems to fall into place.

“LET’S ENJOY AND SUCCEED IN OUR WORK LIFE – BUT LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT.”

BY LEE JACKSON

A

couple of weeks ago I was in the bedroom when my daughter ran upstairs shouting “Dad, Dad, you’ve got to ring the fire brigade, NOW!” I thought it was a joke at first. But no, she was very serious. I ran outside in my socks and up the road towards what sounded like a big bonfire. As I approached the flats at the top of our street I realised it wasn’t a bonfire at all, it was a neighbour’s house on fire.

I went into emergency mode, calling 999 while keeping an eye on the conservatory and house extension as the fire took hold. The flames were as high as the two‐storey house.

I’d never seen anything like it. As I watched the windows were blackening and melting along with the garden furniture. I stood helpless as the flames took hold.

I hoped for the best – I hoped that the house was empty.

Incidents like this put things into perspective. As I talked to the neighbours who had raised the alarm, we were all thinking the same thing. Our conversation didn’t start with “oh no, his poor DVD collection” or “ah, his flat screen TV must be ruined”. Of course not. All we cared about was whether there was anyone 78

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in the house. Was everyone ok? I was told there was someone in the house at first, but she was alerted and escaped safely with her dog.

As I was chatting, the owners of the house came back in their car. It was heartbreaking as they saw the damage.

“Things” are nice to have; I quite like my Mac, TV and TIVO box but I love my family.

That’s what really matters.

I know this all sounds a bit Jerry Maguire, maybe even a bit schmaltzy or idealistic, but imagine if we prioritised our relationships.

We looked after our clients better, developed our staff properly, got on as best we could with our colleagues and made time for family as well as time for work.

When I saw my neighbour running to see her house as the fire was being doused, she wasn’t asking about her DAB radio or her HD TV, she was asking where her daughter was.

That’ll be something I’ll never forget. n Lee Jackson is a speaker and powerpoint surgeon(!) He’s also one half of ‘Lee and Baz’ where, with his mate Baz Gascoyne has written men’s books and spoken / eaten curry at loads of mens events. His website is www.leejackson.biz

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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Ideal Images

SPORT

A GUIDE TO THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES Everything you need to know about this year’s Glasgow‐based Games.

BY STUART WEIR

W

hen the Commonwealth Games get underway in Glasgow this July, it will be the fourth time that the Games have taken place in the British Isles.

Edinburgh hosted them in 1970 and 1986, Cardiff in 1958. Glasgow has benefited from following closely after the 2012 London Olympics as 260,000 items of furniture, fittings and equipment were obtained from London for use in the Glasgow Athletes’ Village.

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The first Games took place in 1930 in Hamilton, Canada under the name of “British Empire Games”. The name then changed to “British Empire and Commonwealth Games” followed by “British Commonwealth Games” before the current name for the event was adopted from the 1978 Games onwards.

The Commonwealth, incidentally, is an association of independent sovereign states spread over every continent and ocean. The Commonwealth’s two billion people make up 30% of the world’s population. 70 Commonwealth Games Associations will be represented in Glasgow.

Sports There will be 17* sports included in the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. There are ten core sports that must be included in every Games. The organising committee may select other sports from an approved list. Sports listed in bold below are core sports: Aquatics Athletics Badminton Boxing

Netball Rugby Sevens

Cycling Gymnastics

Table Tennis Triathlon

Hockey

Weightlifting

Judo

Wrestling

Lawn Bowls

Shooting

Squash

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Compared to the Delhi 2010 programme, Glasgow has added judo and triathlon and dropped archery, synchronised swimming and tennis. Women’s boxing and the mixed team relay event in triathlon will make their Commonwealth Games debut at Glasgow 2014.

“THIS YEAR WILL ALSO SEE THE LARGEST EVER NUMBER OF FULLY INTEGRATED PARA-SPORT EVENTS.”

Venues In addition to the marathons and the road cycling, which will be held on city roads, there are 13 games locations – an interesting mix of old (Celtic and Hampden Parks) and new (SECC). Here is the complete list of venues:

Ideal Images

*Please note Glasgow 2014 is using the term “aquatics” to include swimming and diving, which are sometimes counted as separate sports.

n The Barry Buddon Shooting Centre, Carnoustie – shooting n Cathkin Braes – mountain bike n Celtic Park – opening ceremony n The Emirates Arena and adjoining Sir Chris Hoy Velodrome – badminton and track cycling n Glasgow National Hockey Centre (Glasgow Green) – hockey n Hampden Park – athletics and closing ceremony

The last time judo was at the Commonwealth Games was in Manchester in 2002, meaning there has been a gap of 12 years before it returns at Glasgow 2014. This year will also see the largest ever number of fully integrated para‐sport events with 22 medals up for grabs in five sports within the programme, including the first para‐sport cycling (track) events in Commonwealth Games history.

Team sports are now very much part of the Commonwealth Games but they only appeared in the Commonwealth Games from 1998 onwards with the Kuala Lumpur Games including cricket, hockey, netball and rugby sevens.

n Ibrox Stadium – rugby sevens n Kelvingrove Lawn Bowls Centre – lawn bowls n Royal Commonwealth Pool – diving n The Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre Precinct – gymnastics, boxing, judo, netball, wrestling and weightlifting/powerlifting n Scotstoun Sports Campus – squash and table tennis n Strathclyde Country Park – triathlon n Tollcross International Swimming Centre – swimming

Glasgow 2014

Glasgow 2014

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SPORT

“BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT”

Games Trivia n The Royal Commonwealth Pool in Edinburgh will feature in its third Games having been involved in 1970 and 1986. It is the only venue to be used in three Games and in case you were wondering, it contains one billion gallons of water. n Alexandra Croak (Australia) became the first person to win gold in two different sports at the Games – a gold medal in diving in Delhi 2010 and previously a gold in artistic gymnastics in Manchester 2002. n Canada has a 100% record in synchronised swimming having won all 14 events since the sport was included in the Games in 1986.

n The 2,000-seat capacity dining hall in the Athletes’ Village will serve around 390,000 meals with more than one thousand different menu items. Athletes are expected to eat 500,000 pieces of fruit during the period the Village is open with plenty of vegetables too, plus an estimated 60 tonnes of potatoes! n The surface at Hampden Park has been raised by 1.9 meters, transforming it from the home of Scottish football into an IAAFstandard athletics arena for Glasgow 2014. n Clyde, the official Glasgow 2014 Mascot, is a thistle and the first Games mascot that hasn’t been an animal. n The housekeeping duties in the Athletes’ Village will include the washing of 3,600 flat sheets per day and 7,200 bath towels. n Volunteers for the Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games will be known as Clyde-siders, a deliberate nod to the famous and historic river which runs through the heart of Glasgow. 50,811 people put their names forward to volunteer at the Games.

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The Last Games The last Commonwealth Games took place in Delhi 2010. Here was the final Medal Table:

Gold Silver Bronze Total Australia India England Canada South Africa Scotland

74 38 37 26 12 9

55 27 59 17 11 10

48 36 46 32 10 7

177 101 142 75 33 26

All the scepticism in advance about Delhi’s ability to deliver the 2010 Commonwealth Games was misplaced. Delhi promised to deliver world class Games and Delhi delivered; there was nothing better to showcase the success of the XIX Commonwealth Games than a grand Closing Ceremony. A dazzling laser show and a musical extravaganza marked the finale of the Games.

The programme consisted of 17 sports and in

addition, 15 events were contested across four para‐sports for elite athletes with a disability.

About 6,572 athletes and team officials from 71 Commonwealth Games Associations were involved.

The Indian team covered itself with glory, winning 101 medals, a total surpassed only by Australia. When the women’s 4x400 metres relay team won the gold medal it seemed that the stadium roof would disappear, so loud was the home crowd’s cheer! India also took gold, silver and bronze in the women’s discus throw while the Games were on their home turf. The hockey arena was always packed to the rafters when India was playing and the men’s team reached the final but lost to Australia.

With five gold medals in swimming, Alicia Coutts (Australia) was the most successful athlete at the Games. Gagan Narang (India) was the most successful male athlete. He won four gold medals in shooting.

Four countries gained their first ever Commonwealth Games gold medals in 2010:

Clare Green

Glasgow 2014

n In 2002 Scotland’s Lawn bowler, Willie Wood, was the first competitor to compete in seven Commonwealth Games. In 2010 at the age of 72 he competed an eighth time.

In his career he has won two gold medals, a silver and a bronze. David Bryant won gold medals at four consecutive Commonwealth Games 1962, 1970, 1974 and 1978. (Bowls was not included in the 1966 Games).

Clare Green

n Steve Redgrave won two rowing gold medals in the 1986 Commonwealth Games – the last time rowing was included in the programme.

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SPORT

Stuart Weir is passionate about Jesus Christ and about sport, and he spends his life trying to help people make the connection. He has written several books about sport and Christianity and has worked as a sports writer at Olympic, Paralympic and World Championship events. He has been to three football World Cups and was Togo’s Olympic attaché at the 2012 Olympics. Married to Lynne, he has two grown‐up children. He is a member of Kidlington Baptist Church and Frilford Heath Golf Club.

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Glasgow 2014

Natasha Mayers (St. Vincent and the Grenadines) in the women’s 100m in athletics, Amantle Montsho (Botswana) in the women’s 400m in athletics, Faavae Faauliuli (Samoa) in the Men’s 94kg weightlifting and Cydonie Camille Mothersill (Cayman Islands) in the

women’s 200m event in athletics.

Kenya dominated the middle/long distance events including clean sweeps of gold, silver and bronze medals in four events – the women’s and men’s 3000m steeplechase, the men’s 800m and the women’s 5000m.

Now, let the games commence! n

Glasgow 2014

Ideal Images

Michael Jamieson proudly holding up his silver medal in 200m breaststroke from the 2010 Delhi Commonwealth Games.

“THE INDIAN TEAM COVERED ITSELF WITH GLORY, WINNING 101 MEDALS, A TOTAL SURPASSED ONLY

BY AUSTRALIA.”

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SPORT

BEYOND THE GAMES Sorted caught up with two Commonwealth competitors who have their eyes fixed on more than just winning a gold!

I

t is hard to know where to place the Commonwealth Games in the hierarchy of sport. While the programme includes 17 sports, inevitably most of the attention is focused on athletics plus swimming and cycling. A look at past Commonwealth Games gold medallists shows its impressive pedigree. In athletics Linford Christie, Kriss Akabusi, Jonathan Edwards, Steve Backley, Daley Thompson, Steve Cram, Steve Ovett, Roger Bannister, Chris Chataway, Christine Ohuruogu and Denise Lewis have all stood atop the podium. Swimmers Anita Lonsbrough, Karen Pickering, Rebecca Adlington and cyclists Mark Cavendish, Chris Hoy and Victoria Pendleton have also triumphed at the Games as has boxer Lennox Lewis.

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In athletics in particular the Commonwealth Games is being squeezed out of the schedule.

It remains to be seen how many top athletes will participate in the Glasgow Games with European Championships starting just nine days later, not to mention the lucrative Diamond League Series.

Kiwi Nick Willis won a silver medal in the 2008 Olympics. Going into the Olympics as reigning Commonwealth champion gave Nick extra confidence. “2006 was a great step forward. To get onto a podium in the Commonwealth Games and experience the sweet feeling of doing a victory lap and seeing so many people in your home country get so much pleasure out of your results, you realise you are not just running for yourself any more.

That gave me a huge hunger and desire to experience that again,” Nick shares.

It is interesting that Nick mentioned the importance of running for his country, something that an athlete does not experience in individual events like Diamond League races. Nick also sees his career as following a higher calling, higher even than his country.

“Jesus gives me the security of his love and his promise in what he did – whether I was to come down with cancer today, my wife was to get hit by a car, whether I win or lose a race, whatever trials and tribulations happen in life, this is only a temporary existence. There is a much greater hope on the eternal side which I can forget about but the Holy Spirit is there to remind me.”

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SPORT

“I BELIEVE I WAS GIVEN A TALENT FROM GOD AND I WANT TO HAVE FUN. IT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.” Shelly‐Ann Fraser‐Pryce is at the top of her profession – winner of the 100 metres in the 2008 and 2012 Olympics and winner of the 100 and 200 metres at the 2013 World Championships, yet she has committed herself to run for Jamaica in Glasgow. Shelly told me: “This year I get to try two events I have never gone before – the World Indoors and the Commonwealth Games. I look forward to them, trying to do well in both. I was thinking, I did so well last season, how do I top a year like last? I try to approach things with no pressure and no fear just to work hard and stay committed. That I have never won the Commonwealth Games gives me motivation and focus. The Commonwealth Games will be a new experience for me and I am really looking forward to it. I am excited about it.”

Shelly is another athlete who believes in something beyond herself. “My faith is very

important to me as an athlete because I am a Christian. I have been a Christian since I was 12 but then I went away from the church and now I am back. Being who I am and believing in the God I believe worked miracles in my life. I believe I was given a talent from God and I want to have fun. It is something that makes me happy. You won’t find me sulking after a race because I am just grateful to compete and do it well and just to have fun because I have passion for it.”

She says: “My faith is very important and at the forefront of everything I do. Every gift I have is from Him and He has given it to me for a reason. A lot of people would believe that if you don’t win, God is not there but He is always there. It does not matter if I win or lose.

Just to be able to stand on the line and know I am a child of God makes me special, it makes me able to say, ‘OK whatever I am doing today is for him’. And I hope that by me running he’ll get the glory and he’ll enjoy it as much as I am enjoying it. When I run, the first thing I say is ‘I hope you are pleased with my worship, for running is my worship – my way of worshipping him because he has given me the talent’.”

Look out for Nick and Shelly‐Ann in Glasgow and expect them to be in the medals. n

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SPORT

“Christian. Husband.

Daddy. Pro Golfer” Sorted flesh out Bubba Watson’s brief Twitter bio.

W

hen golf’s Open Championship takes place at Royal Liverpool (Hoylake) 17‐ 20 July, double Masters winner, Bubba Watson, will be among the favourites. Bubba won his first major, the 2012 Masters at Augusta, in a playoff with Louis Oosthuizen. It was not his first Major playoff, having lost to Martin Kaymer by one shot in a three‐hole playoff for the 2010 USPGA Championship.

He won the US Masters for the second time in 2014, this time in a less stressful fashion with a three shot margin over Jonas Blixt and Jordan Spieth. Afterwards he admitted that the more comfortable victory was a lot more pleasant, knowing that he could take four putts on the 18th and still win. Bubba celebrated the 2014 Masters win, holding his son Caleb whom he and his wife had adopted in 2012. It made for some lovely and poignant winner’s pictures.

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His real name is Gerry Lester Watson – the same as his late father – who gave him the nickname Bubba after an NFL player in the 1970s, Bubba Smith, and the name stuck.

As well as his talent and success Bubba, one of the few left‐handers in elite golf, is known for his style of play. He is one of the longest hitters in professional golf, booming 300 yard drives down the fairway with his pink driver, a tribute to his father who died of cancer. He is also known for taking on outrageous shots, often preferring to go for the green from the trees rather than “playing the percentages”.

His own website gives the following self description: “Known for incredible shot‐ making, mammoth drives, a hot pink shafted driver and an electric personality, Bubba Watson is a true all American superstar. Bubba grew up the small town of Bagdad Florida where he began the game of golf at age six. He was given a cut down nine‐iron from his father and learned to play the game by hitting wiffle‐ balls around the house. More interestingly, the

only golf lesson Bubba received was from his father at a very young age and he has not had a lesson since. He is truly a self‐taught golfer.”

“I DON’T SEE MYSELF AS A GREAT CHAMPION. I SEE MYSELF AS A BLESSED MAN WHO GETS TO PLAY ON THE PGA TOUR AND AT AUGUSTA.” Bubba makes no secret of his Christian faith.

His Twitter bio says: “Christian. Husband.

Daddy. Pro Golfer.” On Easter Sunday he tweeted “He’s alive”. He also tweets Bible verses such as Hebrews 13:6 – “So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere man do to me’?” On top of this he often uses the hashtag #Godisgood.

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In his winner’s speech at Augusta in April 2014 he began by thanking his fans for their support before going on to say: “Second I want to thank my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

This day means so much more than putting on the green jacket.” Asked on Masters TV if he felt like a real champion now that he has won two majors, he replied: “I don’t see myself as a great champion. I see myself as a blessed man who gets to play on the PGA tour and at Augusta. I see myself as an average guy who loves the game of golf and is trying to get better at it.” He attributed the win to “hard work and dedication” adding that he had “wanted that green jacket back so much after losing it last year”.

The Masters tradition sees the previous year’s winner putting the green jacket – the symbolic first prize – on the new champion.

With Bubba winning in 2012 he put the jacket on Adam Scott in 2013 and Scott returned the favour in 2014, allowing Bubba to suggest to the Australian that they could continue swapping the jacket back and forth each year.

His journey to faith started in 2001 when the girl next door said: “Hey, do you want to come to church with me?” Bubba accepted the invitation. He was at the time “a 19 year old guy who never went to church growing up”. He started to go to church regularly and says he listened, thought about it and gave himself to the Lord and became a Christian.

He admits his spiritual journey had a few ups and downs but after he married Angie in 2004, they were baptised together and have grown in the faith together. “I would say 2004 was my true time of becoming a Christian,” Watson said. It shaped him into the man he is today.

In 2014 he founded The Bubba Watson Foundation, whose mission is to enhance the every‐day lives of people in need with a particular emphasis on helping and inspiring children, young adults, and those associated with the U.S. Military.

Winning a second major in the year might be an unrealistic target but Bubba will give it a go, so the results certainly won’t be dull. n

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US PGA TOUR

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SPORT

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HEALTH & FITNESS

FITNESS With Phil Baines

Back to Basics This needs really strong glutes/quads and hamstrings. One of the best all‐round exercises for this (as well as the whole body) is the back squat. Using a bar with weights on (the actual weight will be different for us all, but make sure you start off lighter and build up), pick up the bar and place it over your head and across your shoulders, placing your hands underneath the bar. Your feet should be slightly wider than shoulder width with your toes pointing out a bit. Sit down into a squat, knees tracking over the toes. Make sure you sit back onto your heels. Take it as low as you can and then push back up using the glutes and hamstrings. Keep your back straight. You can encourage this by focusing on a point straight ahead and above eyelevel. Do 10‐15 reps, rest, then do another set. Over the weeks gradually build up the weight. This exercise uses more muscles that almost any other. Ordinary squats/lunges/side lunges all strengthen glutes, hamstrings and quads. It goes without saying that footballers will work hard to strengthen their abs, but they also need upper body strength to be strong in tackles and holding the ball. Press ups/push press/bicep curls/shoulder press will all help with this.

Any challenge will benefit from strong abs.

“MAKE SURE YOU TRAIN SPECIFIC.”

W

e are currently two thirds of the way through the World Cup, which is the biggest global sporting event along with the Olympics. I wonder who will go on to win the cup itself? I just hope the winners are a team that entertain, rather than just defend.

Regardless of who wins or which style they play, one thing is for sure, all the footballers are super‐fit athletes both physically and mentally. They will have prepared themselves, and been prepared by others, to reach the peak of their fitness and perform at just the right time. A lot of what they do to get in condition is quite basic though and something we can put into practice ourselves.

So what are these basics?

Firstly – train specific to the challenge you are facing Footballers will be doing a lot of sprint work i.e. power. You can’t defend against someone with lightning pace over the first 20 meters.

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I don’t know what challenge you are facing.

Make sure you train specific. If it’s strength, power‐based training, then use the above exercise. If it’s endurance you don’t need so much power work but more toning.

Secondly – eat the right foods You can be sure in this day and age the footballer’s diet will be finely tuned like their exercises. Whatever challenge you’re doing it’s

no good exercising then eating all the wrong things as you will undo most of the good.

Fruit, veg, nuts, chicken, oily fish and pasta are all good. Remember the more you exercise, the more you will eat, so eat right.

Thirdly – get plenty of sleep Footballers will have plenty of sleep, perhaps ten hours per night and many have a sleep during the day. Now obviously most of us can’t do this but we all need plenty of good sleep. If you are exercising a lot this is really important.

If you try to exercise heavily on little sleep something will eventually give. Sleep well.

Fourthly – Teamwork The best team will win the World Cup (we hope). Certainly each player will be able to depend on his teammates and know that they have done all that they can to be ready. If your challenge is a team goal, the only thing you have control over is making sure you are totally ready. You can try and make sure your teammates do the same but ultimately you will have to trust that they are doing this.

So get back to basics and have fun with the training and your challenge. I do hope you succeed and enjoy the rest of the World Cup! n Phil Baines is passionate about fitness and sport. He recently began a venture called Fit 4 The Challenge (www.f4tc.co.uk), which offers a range of physical challenges for diverse abilities. Phil organises each challenge and trains individuals and teams to complete them, either for charity or for personal achievement or both. Phil is married with two teenage sons.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

HEALTHY COOKING With Chef Mike Darracott

Kiwi and Banoee Pie INGREDIENTS FOR THE BASE: 90g unsalted melted butter 240g crushed up digestive biscuits FOR THE FILLING: 100g unsalted melted butter 100g dark brown soft sugar 397g can of Carnation condensed milk 4 small chopped bananas FOR THE TOPPING: 300ml carton whipping cream, whipped 4 tbsp of caster sugar 2 sliced kiwis for decoration

METHOD BASE You will need a 20cm round by 2cm deep ovenproof dish.

1 Put the biscuit crumbs and the butter into a bowl and mix together well.

2 Spoon all the crumbs into your ovenproof dish including about halfway up the sides of it as well.

FILLING 3 Add your melted butter for the filling into a saucepan with the brown sugar.

Stir until the sugar has dissolved. Now add the condensed milk and bring the whole thing to boil until it starts to look like caramel.

4 When the contents of the saucepan have started to look like a creamy caramel add in the chopped bananas and stir them in well.

5 Now spoon the filling into your base and once cool, place it in the fridge for 30 minutes.

6 Then take the base out of the fridge and you are now ready to make the topping.

TOPPING 7 Place the caster sugar and whipping cream into a bowl and either hand whisk or use an electric whisk and whip it up until it stands up. Then place it in a piping bag and decorate the top of your pie.

8 Finally top off the cream with the sliced kiwis.

Michael J Darracott has been an executive chef at various large establishments. He has cooked for more than 200 people at a time, including a number of celebrities, and has published several books. For more information, visit www.chefmikedarracott.com.

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HUMOUR

PAUL KERENSA

Kneel-Down Stand-Up

That “Gig Death” Feeling

later you’d have a Channel 4 sketch show, or a Radio 4 sitcom at least.

Today you’re up against not only five hundred other comedians (as well as several thousand plays and musicals), but their management.

The big agencies dominate the big venues, and you can’t leave the flat (sixth floor, no lift) without seeing A1 posters of every act from every TV panel show, all seemingly playing the next‐door venue to yours. Suddenly you regret booking a 150‐seat theatre.

“THE PENNY DROPPED AS QUICKLY AS THE STRIP POET’S TROUSERS.”

W

hen I began on the comedy circuit, dozens of comedians would migrate to the Edinburgh Fringe every summer. This August it’ll be hundreds, which is why I’m not there for the fourth year in a row. I love Edinburgh – I just don’t know if the feeling’s mutual. I long for the glory days of the 1980s, when you’d turn up with a handful of flyers and a suitcase of costumes, and four weeks 92

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To lure a crowd you perform short guest slots at other venues, rubbing shoulders with comedians doing better/worse/exactly the same as you. Last time, my accommodation overlooked a small pub advertising a charity comedy show, which in turn had overlooked me. Their line‐up boasted big‐name comics and cabaret acts, and after a quick word with the pub landlord, a late addition: me.

The day of the show, I found the bar in full swing. A packed crowd roared with laughter at a Brighton‐based comic I knew. After him, a “strip poet” read from a notebook, taking off a layer of clothing after each rhyming couplet until he was a man in pants (where thankfully his poem stopped). He gathered his clothing, the compère bellowed my name, and on I strode.

“Who here’s got kids?” I began. No one.

Really? Normally there are a few. I launched

into my parenting material anyway, to little response. “Where are the married people?”

I asked. Again, elsewhere it seemed. Chat started, attention drifted, laughs were hard to come by. My mouth became sandpaper, that “gig death” feeling.

I couldn’t work out why this room full of blokes at this AIDS charity fundraiser found my jokes so void of humour. What did my Brighton‐based colleague have over me? My familial gags normally fared better than at this rainbow‐decorated bar…

The penny dropped as quickly as the strip poet’s trousers. I’m sure you realised several paragraphs ago that this was a gay bar, but it took me till I left the stage and the compère introduced The Scottish Gay Men’s Chorus with an a cappella “I Will Survive”.

I learned a little about humility that day, plus a lot about embarrassment. It was an insight into a neighbouring community, at a gig for which I’d never normally be booked.

Today, with same‐sex marriage now a thing, my marital questions may have landed differently, rather than seeming a tad boastful as it must have done in 2010. So there’s another reason I haven’t been back.

So fringe‐goers: Enjoy your shows. Seek out the unusual and if you’re at a show with a strip poet, check the decor. n Paul Kerensa is an award‐winning stand‐up comic and author of the book So a Comedian Walks Into a Church. He co‐won a British Comedy Award for writing on the BBC’s Miranda, and the Royal Television Society (RTS) Award for Not Going Out, as well as working on other shows that history has thankfully forgotten. Visit www.paulkerensa.com or follow Paul on Twitter @paulkerensa to find out more.

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HUMOUR

TONY VINO

In Vino Veritas to be human. Perhaps you should just take next door’s pet parrot Rio. It will make the photos more interesting and the bride won’t have to remember something borrowed or blue!”

I am then accused of overreacting.

Even worse we have only been invited to the 1pm church service and the evening celebration from 8pm, not making the grade for the afternoon festivities. I quiver with the desolate shame of rejection. I’m like a phone on the Lycamobile network – no chance of reception. No wonder the invite is described as cordial – it’s watered down and cheap.

Claire’s distant university friend wants us to drive down to Plymouth with no prospect of being given lunch, a reception meal or petrol money. As incentive the invite states: “A light sweet buffet including pastries will be provided at the evening celebration.” Well Whoopee Doo, excuse me if I don’t keel over with excitement and gratitude. I’m sure the prospect of a tiny danish in seven hours will manage to stave off the hunger pangs and bitter resentment as Claire and I have to wander aimlessly around Plymouth for the entire afternoon looking at HMS Who Cares.

“I’M LIKE A PHONE ON THE LYCAMOBILE NETWORK – NO CHANCE OF RECEPTION.”

The Invite

S

ummer is here with its plethora of invites to weddings and barbecues. Why not combine the two and have a wedding barbecue, where you could literally toast the bride?

On our doormat appears what I believe to be a wedding invite as it’s covered in love hearts and has a little red bow stuck to the front.

Either that or my bank has had a drastic marketing re‐design.

“Claire +1 are cordially invited to the wedding of Emma and Alex.”

“How lovely,” says Claire. “We’ve been invited to their wedding.”

Aghast, I reply. “No, WE have not been invited. It says Claire plus one. You’ve been invited. I’ve been reduced to half an equation.

It doesn’t even state whether the plus one has

I hate two‐tier wedding invites. The demotion of certain friends to second‐class invitees seems unreflective of the power of love that is open to all and excludes none.

As if that wasn’t enough they are planning on having a ceilidh. Nobody enjoys a ceilidh, not even the Scottish. When it comes to dancing the Vino freestyles. No orders, no regimented steps and definitely no willow stripping. With a normal disco playing 90s classics I’d gratefully be moon walking onto that dance floor, tiny danish in hand.

I tell Claire there is no way we are attending this effrontery. She feels we should go. We compromise. So we’re going.

To add insult, they presumptuously include a John Lewis Gift List. We went with Argos for ours, which on reflection wasn’t a great symbolism for marriage as everything is designed to break down after two years. Online I scroll through their array of ludicrously expensive homeware products and purchase the cheapest item listed, a £15 Oxford Stainless Steel Toilet Brush. You don’t buy me dinner, I don’t buy you dinnerware. Now we’re equal.

On reflection, I know giving someone an implement designed to remove turd crust is not a mature response to being offended by a mean spirited second‐rate invite. Oh well, I suppose that’s just a +1 for you… n Tony Vino is a professional comedian who straddles the world of comedy clubs, festivals and churches. For more information see www.tonyvino.co.uk.

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COMMENT

JEFF LUCAS

Lucas Aid

Not as Reputed

unexpected freeze. Again, this is not so. I have spotted one lady attired in a t‐shirt that advises us that “some girls do, and some girls don’t and I just might”. Admittedly, this is not likely to be a quote from the book of Proverbs and was almost certainly not purchased from a Christian bookshop, but it’s the only naff uniform currently in sight.

And Tenerife has its beauty spots as well as the fish and chip promenades. I have met a few chaps wandering around with gold hoops the size of juggling rings inserted in their voluminous abdomens, but they really are a minority.

“LET’S BE CAREFUL ABOUT WRITING PEOPLE OFF BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY’S MISTAKES.”

“O

h my goodness, you’re not, are you?” I sighed as yet another friend’s eyebrows shot into vertical takeoff, their mouth agape in horror. What was the reason for their stunned reaction? Had I just revealed that I have used my life of Christian leadership as a cover for my real employment as a member of a Colombian drug cartel? No, the shocked response was ignited because I revealed that Kay and I were planning to take a holiday in Tenerife. Based on the comments that I have heard over the last few weeks, our air flight and brief sojourn on Tenerife would surely be a nightmare. I anticipated boarding a winged cow shed supervised by flight attendants who would help passengers into their seats with the assistance of a high voltage cattle prod. In fact, when we boarded the plane this morning, it was to a smiling welcome with classical music playing in the background; I was expecting them to pump “’ere we go, ‘ere we go, ‘ere we go” at high volume through the PA system. It’s true that the seats are a little snug. And the Adams family is seated behind me. A junior Adams (whose first name is surely Damien) keeps pulling the seat back and then allowing it to cannon forward into the back of my head.

I am now suffering from whiplash and Damien is about to become an infant skydiver. But this

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flight is really quite pleasant and the food is far superior to the transatlantic swill I’ve been served lately. The reputation of charter flights is undeserved.

As for Tenerife itself, I have been led to believe that I will surely bump into rampaging hordes of lager assisted gentlemen, all bedecked in union jack shorts and grubby knotted handkerchiefs on their heads. They will also all surely be sporting lobster coloured beer bellies seven times the size of their heads.

All females will wear “kiss me quick” hats and will remove their bras at any and every opportunity, even in the event of an

The truth is that Tenerife (and budget airlines) tend to suffer because of image and reputation. And often, the reality doesn’t correspond to the reputation at all – but locations, businesses and individuals suffer because they have at some time been tarred with the brush of generalisation. This often happens in the church, where we of all people should believe in the possibility that a person can grow and change, quite simply because of God. But instead, we can box people up in a coffin of stereotype, chaining them to their history, dooming them to be victims of negative reputation.

So let’s be careful about writing people off because of yesterday’s mistakes. If I read my Bible correctly, the only kind of reputation that we really need to be concerned with is how we’re perceived by those who are not followers of Jesus and, of course, with Jesus himself.

Meanwhile, Damien, the demonized toddler who has gifted me with whiplash, might really be a nice child at heart. And he might be in need of a parachute…. n Jeff Lucas is an international speaker, broadcaster and author of 22 books. He loves to communicate using humour and storytelling. He is a monthly contributor to Christianity magazine and writes daily Bible reading notes, Life Every Day. Jeff holds a teaching position at Timberline Church in Colorado and is married to Kay.

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COMMENT

CARL BEECH

The Last Word

You Have a Choice

J

ust before Christmas I crashed my car. It was a classic scenario; less than a mile from my house, in a queue of traffic moving at about 5mph. It was dark and raining. I know exactly how it happened. The queue of traffic moved off, I followed the lead of the car in front and casually looked out of my window to the right.

The next minute I hear a crunching sound and realise that the car in front had stalled or stopped for an unknown reason and that my car was now buried into the back of their one.

We pulled over and I hopped out of my car, rapped on the window and gave her my best “I’m just a cheeky bloke from Essex” smile and said “sorry about that, Merry Christmas” as she wound the window down. To cut a very long story short, her car was an old Vauxhall something or other that was built like a Chieftain tank. Mine is a low‐slung newer vehicle with a high tech feature called “crumple zones”. Her car was basically unscathed (apart from obvious wear and tear from years of use) at first glance, whereas my car now looked like a Pterodactyl.

We parted on friendly enough terms. I contacted my insurance company and left it with them.

A week or so later I got a text message from

the victim of my appalling driving that basically said that on inspection there was hundreds of pounds worth of damage to her car (I think it was only worth about £500) but if I gave her a cheque for £100 she would “forget all about it”.

“I COULD TAKE A TOTALLY COUNTER CULTURAL POSITION AND TRY AND BLOW HER MIND A BIT.” Now, I’m not naive and I reckon I know when I’m being ripped off but in moments like this you have a choice. I could put it through my insurance company and let them kick it into touch or deal with it (my excess was insured and no claims bonus protected, so it was no stress to me). I could tell her that she’s ripping me off and trying it on and see what she came back with. Or, I could take a totally counter cultural position and try and blow her mind a bit.

A couple of hours later I was standing in front of her holding out a cheque for 150 quid.

Yep, you read it right. I chucked an extra 50 quid on top. My chequebook says “Reverend

Carl Beech”. I’m not big on titles but I’ve found that the “Rev” thing can get me a better table at the local curry house and is useful for tackling major car crash scams.

“I just want to bless you, I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’ve chucked the extra money on by way of an apology…”

“Errr what?”

“YOU’RE STEALING FROM A MAN OF GOD SO WATCH OUT. BAD THINGS MAY HAPPEN…” (was the fleeting shouty thought in my mind at this point…)

“I just want to bless you. It is Christmas after all. I run a Christian mission agency and try to live my life a different way” and words to that effect.

She went a bit shifty on her feet, so I just turned away, climbed back into the Pterodactyl Mobile and drove off. I was pretty convinced that the power of God would rest upon her life and that under a deep conviction from the Holy Spirit she wouldn’t cash the cheque.

According to bank statement she must have paid it in the next day…

Some you win and some you lose. But here’s the point. Win, lose or draw its worth the risk isn’t it? No point in believing in a message that can change the world if we don’t try and change it through our actions and words, is there?

Leave a stone in people’s shoes. That’s my aim. n Carl is married with two daughters. He heads up Christian Vision for Men (CVM) and founded Codelife. You can follow him on Twitter @carlfbeech and on Facebook.

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