SORTED magazine : Sept / Oct 2014 by Duncan Williams

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GARY BARLOW COMING BACK FOR GOD ®

Sep/Oct 2014

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JOHN MOTSON PREMIER PREVIEW

CHANNING

TATUM PROUD PAPA

GARY BARLOW SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS

£4.00 $9.95

In partnership with

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Vol. 8 | No. 5 | Sep/Oct 2014

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40 ACTION 6

Gumball 3000 Sorted talk to Gumball 3000 founder, Maximillion Cooper, and report on the 2014 London event.

The Bear Facts with Bear Grylls

Pigs, Pagodas and Peanuts

FEATURES 40 Channing Tatum

Diamond Geezer with Ant Delaney

Your Will, Mott Mine with Alex Willmott

CULTURE

Gary Barlow The singer‐songwriter discusses his new album, losing weight and prayer. Paul Mungo A life of adventure behind the lens!

The 22 Jump Street actor talks about the joys of fatherhood. 44

How to Survive Freshers’ Week Helpful tips to get you through the start of your university adventure!

No Child Taken Stacey Hailes talks to Tearfund about their latest campaign.

SPORT

COLUMNISTS 16

BUSINESS 64

We’re in Business with Charles Humphreys

Relationology with Matt Bird

Bolder and Boulder with Martin Carter

Collective Action with Martin Thomas

Movies with Martin Leggatt

Television with Emily Russell

Theatre with Mark Stibbe

DVD & Blu Ray with Martin Leggatt

Books with Mark Anderson

ADVICE

Music with Sue Rinaldi

Smart Talk

Big Questions with Jonathan Sherwin

LIFESTYLE

Premier League Preview Find out John Motson’s assessment.

The Ryder Cup Bernhard Langer shares his thoughts on the competition.

Race for Life Meet Edwards Racing, the F1 International Sidecar Racing team Sorted proudly sponsor!

HEALTH & FITNESS 92

Fitness with Phil Baines

Healthy Cooking with Mike Darracott

HUMOUR 94

Kneel‐Down Stand‐Up with Paul Kerensa

In Vino Veritas with Tony Vino

Cars with Tim Barnes‐Clay

OPINION

Road Test with Adriana Lopez

Money with Jon Cobb

L0pht’s Conversion of Security

Family with Richard Hardy

Top Gear – Gadgets and gizmos galore

Faith with Sam Gibb

Sixty Second Life Coach with Peter Horne

Politics with Lyndon Bowring

COMMENT

Cut to the Chase with Lee and Baz

Cover pictures: REX/David Fisher / JMVM/FAMOUS

The Last Word with Carl Beech

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STEVE LEGG

Up Front Founding Editor Steve Legg steve@sorted‐magazine.com Deputy Editor Stacey Hailes stacey@sorted‐magazine.com Sports Editor Stuart Weir Marketing & Advertising Rebekah Taylor rebekah@sorted‐magazine.com Duncan Williams Tel: 07960 829615 williamspublishing@yahoo.com Design Andy Ashdown Design www.andyashdowndesign.co.uk Print Halcyon www.halcyonline.co.uk Distribution Citipost © Sorted Magazine 2014 Sorted is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement. SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpose of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984. Sorted is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

The ABC combined print distribution for Aug‐Dec 2013:

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Contact Sorted Magazine PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 E‐mail: steve@sorted‐magazine.com

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Sorted Magazine

One Step at a Time

y wife gets teased for telling stories on a regular basis that begin: “When I lived in Kenya.” It’s up there with Uncle Albert’s, “during the war” for eye‐rolling effect. It’s possible I’m going to have to join the old bore club because I want to talk about when I climbed Kilimanjaro… again! It was the worst and the best thing I have ever done. I never want to do it again, but I can’t wait for the next challenge. It fills my dreams and haunts my nightmares, but the one thing I do know is that it is the single most difficult thing I have ever done.

“WE CLIMB IN THE DARK BECAUSE THE MOUNTAIN IS TOO DAUNTING IN DAYLIGHT.” All of it was tough, but the last climb to the summit took the challenge to a whole new level. Breathing was an eﬀort before we began, and we still had to climb another one kilometre in altitude. And we did it in the dark. Which seemed crazy – we went to bed about eight the evening before, got up at 11:30, forced down some porridge and ginger tea, switched on our head torches and set out. Eight hours later I stood at the top of the world watching the sun rise over the horizon. I thought that was the purpose of the midnight trek, but have since learned that catching the sunrise was a happy coincidence. The reason we climb in the dark is because the mountain is too daunting in daylight.

In the dark, all you can see by torchlight is where to put your next step. At that altitude, one step is enough of a challenge. Five steps require a rest. But, step‐by‐step, without ever being able to see the summit, you get there. It’s quite a lesson in life. Often the challenge in front of us seems so enormous and so impossible that we become frozen, unable to take the next step. We give up before we begin because we can’t imagine being able to complete the task at hand. But the thing is, we never have to get to the end at the beginning. We just need to take the first step. Don’t get me wrong. We need to know where we’re going. I couldn’t have got to the roof of Africa if I’d never looked at a map. I needed to see the mountain to know the goal, to get the motivation to keep going when I felt like breathing was just too difficult. I needed to have checked out my route – my strategy for getting to the top. I had to get together the gear that would get me to the top hydrated and warm. But once that was done, all I needed to do was to follow the plan and concentrate on the step in front of me. Life, as a wise man once said, is a journey. But it’s a journey of a million steps. Don’t be put off by the size of the challenge. Look at the goal, work out how you could get there, prepare yourself in every way and then just take the first step. Before you know it, you’ll see the sun rising over a whole new world. n

Steve Legg FOUNDING EDITOR steve@sorted-magazine.com SteveLeggUK

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GUMBALL 3000

Superstars in Supercars I BY SAM HAILES

Maximillion and Eve with their Indy 500 car.

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t’s the second Sunday in June and the summer sun is beating down on London’s Regent Street. With the road closed to traffic, a half pipe has been placed in the centre and a stage blasts live music close by. Further south, preparations are underway to welcome one hundred supercars and superstars. The atmosphere is jubilant, almost festival‐like. Welcome to day four of the Gumball 3000 rally. For the uninitiated, the annual Gumball rally involves 100 drivers (many of them A‐list celebrities) paying £40,000 each to enter a 3000‐mile public road rally that crosses national borders and sometimes even continents. The cars are typically worth at least three times the entry fee. This is an exclusive expedition. Along the way the drivers stop to show off their cars, meet the public and have some fairly outrageous parties with full VIP service from 5* luxury hotels to free bars. This may be entertainment for the super rich, but half a million of us mere‐mortals have been invited to Regent Street to enjoy the spectacle. The 16th annual Gumball rally began on Miami’s iconic beach four days ago. The first checkpoint was at Daytona International Speedway. By the next day the cars had arrived in Atlanta before going on to the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte and finally New York City where the cars became cargo and flew to Scotland.

“SOME PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE GOING TO GO ON A GREAT SOCIAL EVENT AND PARTY BUT BY THE END OF IT IT’S THE SAME ELATED FEELING AS IF THEY’VE CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN.” Earlier today the stars drove from Edinburgh to Manchester. Crowds of car fanatics gathered in both locations. Others snapped pictures of the supercar procession en route. Chart topper Deadmau5 in his “Purrari” and Jonathan Ross riding in a yellow Lamborghini quickly became favourites with the UK public long before the cars roared into Central London. One of the first celebrities to cross the line was TV presenter Xzibit of Pimp My Ride fame. Upon finishing he waited to taunt the other drivers as they crossed the finish line behind him. But much to the disappointment of Gumball fans it became clear as the evening progressed that not all the cars would make it down from Manchester to Regent St in time for the strict 10pm curfew. Some took to Twitter to express their disappointment and complain about a lack of organisation. But despite the irony of the world’s fastest cars being significantly delayed, most enjoyed the day out (entertainment was provided non‐stop from midday) and freebies from Gumball’s sponsors (this reporter particularly enjoyed the Krispee Kreme donuts!). Contrary to popular belief, the Gumball is not a race. This was a fact that Gumball founder and former racing driver Maximillion Cooper was keen to emphasise in his interview with Sorted, just a few days before the rally hit central London. “It isn’t a race and it never has been,” he said firmly, during our extended phone interview. “On that entry grid of 100 cars this year there’s a 1926 Bentley, 1960s Jaguars and American muscle cars and 1953 VW Beetle. You’ve got a ’53 Beetle and a Bugatti Veyron – it’s not much of a race!”

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GUMBALL 3000 rally have a great time and the public who come to see it have a great time. “The fact that cars can drive fast is the bit I have to control the most to make sure people don’t get too over zealous. When you’re on an event like this people do get quite excited and maybe want to show oﬀ a little bit. It’s controlled now. We manage to close streets down and work with the authorities everywhere and so on. It still maintains its freedom and adventure and travel but we make sure it’s safe.” The 2007 tragedy will always put a substantial black mark on Gumball’s otherwise happy go lucky brand image. Thankfully that year appears to have marked a turning point. There have been no Gumball fatalities since. Maximillion has run a tight ship and made Gumball’s policy on racing clear. He’s so keen to emphasise “it’s not a race”, the phrase could almost be Gumball’s oﬃcial strapline. And yet all of this talk may still be falling on deaf ears. One day after the Regent Street event news broke that David Hasselhof had been pulled over for speeding. Deadmau5’s license was also suspended by French police. Some say it’s just boys and their toys. Others are more concerned. The Gumball website is surprisingly upfront in mentioning Xzibit‘s license was seized during 2007’s Gumball when the rapper drove 160kmh in a 100kmh limit.

Fat Cheques Maximillion seems to have succeeded at everything he’s turned his hand to. As a teenager he was sponsored to skateboard. During his 20s he was tutored by John Galliano and also counted Alexander McQueen and Stella McCartney among his many acquaintances. Next he was designing clothes for Adidas and modeling for Ralph Lauren and Giorgio Armani. Good luck and hard work (its mainly the latter, he says) means the 42 year old is today rumoured to be worth $50million. The “nice fat cheques” from the designer brands paid for Maximillion to train to achieve his life long dream of becoming a racing driver. Did he succeed? Of course he did. “I’d got the fashion world, car world and action sports world rolled into one. That’s the ingredients for where Gumball came from and really still is today.” There’s no mistaking that the Gumball is a huge success. Through the invention of his global brand, Maximillion has managed to attract the attention of everyone from Tony Hawk to members of the Polish government. The early days of Gumball were filled with teenage‐ esque rebellion. 2003’s 18‐rated Gumball: The Movie featured the stars of MTV’s controversial show Jackass. The documentary also showed the Koenigsegg Supercar clocking up 242mph in Texas. The 2006 film 3000 Miles documented a high‐speed crash and the ensuing aftermath. The following year a Porshe 911 Turbo collided with an oncoming Volkswagon Golf near Struga, Macedonia. The driver of the Golf, Vladimir Chepunjoski who was not participating in the rally died on his way to the hospital. His wife who was riding in the passenger seat died two days later. The driver of the Porshe – Nick Morley who was competing in the Gumball escaped unhurt and was later convicted of “endangering traffic, leading to death” and given a two year suspended sentence. This was not the press that Maximillion wanted. Looking back he says: “Even from day one of organising this you never want to have accidents. You don’t want to be putting anyone’s lives in danger. The event is about putting on something that’s really fun and people in the

“THE NICEST THING FOR ME IS FROM DAY ONE THE GUMBALL HAS BEEN A REAL LEVELER.” Whatever your views on the morality of the international road race, it’s hard to argue with Maximillion’s claim that the event, although exclusive, has helped form very strong bonds between participants. “The nicest thing for me is from day one the Gumball has been a real leveler. There’s only 100 places. For that reason alone it makes it very aspirational and exclusive to be a part of. But once you’re a part of that, it’s a real leveler. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Sheik or skateboarder or mechanic or head of a bank. On that week everyone is on the same level. No hierarchy. This is just regular people having a road trip and hanging out. “The rally is quite an endurance – 3000 miles of driving in a week. Some people think they’re going to go on a great social event and party but by the end of it it’s the same elated feeling as if they’ve climbed a mountain. Two or three days into the rally everyone is broken, exhausted and it’s too much for them. They question why they’re there but by the end of it they don’t want f

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GUMBALL 3000 car rally. There are hundreds of car rallies out there. Everyone does it all the time so I wanted to make it so different.” Which was the most memorable? “I’d say the 2008 rally that started in San Francisco and finished in Tiananmen Square in Beijing during the Olympics. When we pulled that off it was pretty amazing. That was a high point.” All things considered, The Verge.com were onto something when they titled their write up of Gumball, “The amazing ridiculousness of the Gumball 3000 rally”. There is something crazy about the event. It’s excessive. It’s brash. But it’s also charming. And this year Maximillion even managed to pull off a fairytale ending. Two days after the Gumball finished in Ibiza Maximillion wed his fiancé Eve Jeffers. “I’m so happy to make Eve my wife… The whole experience has been amazing and we are both so happy to have tied the knot,” he told the press shortly afterwards. “We met on the 2010 Gumball 3000 rally so it only seemed right to have the wedding at the finish of this years rally… We couldn’t be happier to celebrate such a special day with all our family and friends.” But workaholic Maximillion will soon be back to business. The 2015 rally has just been announced. The route will from be Stockholm to Las Vegas. But remember, it’s not a race… n it to stop. Most importantly they’ve bonded with everyone and the friendships that are made on this, and the camaraderie it creates, is the nicest thing for me.”

Giving Something Back After 15 years of running the rally, Maximillion last year decided it was time to give something back. The result was the launch of The Gumball Foundation. “I started the Gumball with zero money behind me and many zeros and minuses in my bank account at the time. It probably took me six years to start monetizing it and being a good financial juggler. We reached a 15 year anniversary milestone and it makes you reflect and realise we’ve got 15 years worth of participants who have done this. Heads of industries and celebrities. We’ve got founders of companies who seem to be running the world these days. People who have founded Facebook, Yahoo and Paypal. Those guys have all driven on the Gumball. “When you mix that up with the billionaires and Russians and Sheiks you’ve got some really powerful people mixed in with celebrities and tastemakers like Tony Hawk and Hasselhoff. I thought I could do something good with that and we can utlilise that influence to put something back, now that we can afford to finally. “We started the foundation to raise money through the participants and various other means through their industries. We raised $600,000 in the opening week of the event by doing a charity auction. Over the past year we’ve donated funds toward Nelson Mandela’s Children’s Fund, helped finance the wing of a children’s hospital in Africa, supported the Tony Hawk Foundation and moving forward we’ve got quite a few projects going on right now to give kids in low areas of income a bit of a chance to do stuff.”

The Risk Taker Maximillion’s drive to see his brand succeed is relentless. He’s a risk taker. But the risks have often paid oﬀ and resulted in some phenomenal highs. He cites everything from the ﬁrst pack of Gumball 3000 Top Trumps to the 2008 rally as mountain‐top moments. “As a kid growing up in England when you had your own pack of Top Trumps out in early years it was incredible. Back then around 2004 we were a big promotion on Weetabix in the UK. Knowing the Gumball logo was on 15 million packs was like ‘wow’. “I got more and more ambitious with the rally itself. I made it untouchable. Something that wasn’t the normal 8

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ACTION

BEAR GRYLLS

The Bear Facts Pack Light In this issue’s excerpt of A Survival Guide, Bear Grylls looks at building a positive and powerful kit for your life and adventure.

his brings us to the stage of our journey where I’m going to equip you with some of the key “know‐how” to help you survive the many obstacles that lie ahead. Now, there is “good” kit we need to carry and then there is “bad” kit. The “good” is the list we are going to start compiling. The “bad” is the stuff we are going to drop. Ultimately I want you to be empowered with a super‐ efficient, totally functional kit list made up of solid principles on which to build your life and adventure. And here is the reason why we want to keep our kit list light: On an expedition, obviously you never want to carry more gear than you need. Unnecessary kit is just extra weight – and too much baggage slows you down. Part of the appeal of the TV shows I do is that they show how you can survive with just a bottle of water, a decent knife and some key know‐how. The message is that attitude is king and the greatest resource we have is inside of us all. Pack the right skills, and the right attitudes, and you don’t need much else.

“THE ART OF PACKING EFFICIENTLY IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF A SUCCESSFUL EXPEDITION. AND IT’S TRUE IN LIFE,TOO.” You can usually tell who the novices are on an expedition because they are the ones with the biggest packs, full of too much cooking gear, clothing and superfluous supplies they just won’t use. Every day, they lug around the extra weight, and when it’s wet and they’re cold and they’re at the end of their rope, that extra burden can prove the final straw. I have seen it all too often: on Scout trips, big expeditions and on TV shoots. The art of packing efficiently is an essential part of a successful expedition. And it’s true in life, too. But first up we need to look at how most of us “gear up” for life. So many people I have met over the years walk around carrying a heap of emotional hang‐ups that weigh them down. Maybe it’s the burden of parental expectations that makes them pick a job based on what they felt they “should” do rather than would “love” to do. Or maybe it is a deep‐rooted fear about the future, or an anxiety about what people might think of them if they choose a

more unusual or less “celebrated” or money‐generating profession. Whatever the “baggage” is, those people lug this unnecessary burden around, determined subconsciously to live out their lives in such a way as to endorse what some key influencers have told them about themselves over the years. Even if those “home truths” aren’t true! So many people have been told too many negative things from a very young age, and these shape us. “You’re no good, you’re stupid, you’re a failure, a disgrace…” the list goes on. But they are not true. I am here to say that this burden doesn’t have to forge your reality. Yes, maybe you failed at something. So what? Who hasn’t? That doesn’t make you a failure. “You’re stupid.” No, you are not. You just failed an exam because you probably didn’t work hard enough! So, can you see some common solutions? For the failures – keep trying. For the exams – work harder. Both are qualities you can inﬂuence. That’s the good news. And as for the names you were called – believe me, they aren’t you, and you don’t have to wear those labels any longer. Start afresh. Drop them. Pack light. n Bear Grylls is an adventurer, writer and television presenter. He is best known for his television series Born Survivor, known as Man Vs Wild in the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Bear spent three years in the SAS and is one of the youngest Britons to climb Mount Everest, doing so at the age of 23. In July 2009, he became the youngest ever Chief Scout at the age of 35.

If you want to read on, we strongly recommend investing in a copy. It’s available from all good bookshops and online retailers, and it could just help you make the changes that you need to introduce in order to turn your life around.

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ACTION

PIGS, PAGODAS AND PEANUTS Andrew Steward and wife Liz, discover the great secret eats in dynamic Vietnam. Make it Happen Several airlines fly from the UK to Hanoi (Noi Bai) Airport, including Etihad and British Airways from London Heathrow and Emirates from London Gatwick. Intrepid Travel (0844 4998 487 www.intrepidtravel.com) offers a 12-day Real Food Adventure in Vietnam. From £1,195 per person. The price includes accommodation, a selection of meals, modern and local transport including domestic flights, most activities including tours and tastings, cooking classes, a local homestay and visits to ancient sites and ruins.

Best Time to Travel From November to April, you’ll see the great sights and exquisite culture of Vietnam under blue skies and a blazing sun.

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hey say just go. So, attempting to dampen down all our natural inhibitions to turn and run, I grabbed my wife’s hand and launched us into the pathway of an incoming motorbike, crammed with three, hopefully not live, pigs strapped to the back. Faces, a mix of amused and irritated expressions weaved their way past us, this way and that, as we made a bid to reach the sacred pavement opposite us. But thankfully, it’s true what they say, just go and the professionals will work around you. We were in the hubbub of Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam, and you couldn’t even say it was rush hour because, from what we discovered, the roads are merciless. I am a self‐confessed travel addict, so the roads only added to my collection of eccentric foreign moments. The growing desire to sate our ever‐present hunger for divine foods and fascinating culture was present when we sat around the dinner table just two months before, facing a plate of chicken and potatoes. I thought; something has to give. Having spent many moons touring the intrinsic cultures of Borneo, Singapore and Australia, it was time we ventured out again. Enter Vietnam. An energetic, culturally intriguing, beautiful country blessed with radiant coastlines, busy cities, dynamic mountains and quaint towns. A far cry from the once war torn country it was 40 years ago, Vietnam’s capital is a mix of modern and traditional architecture, merging classic Asian style with striking

modern influence. Moving further south and into the countryside Hue, a UNESCO World Heritage site, keeps the secrets of imperial royals locked carefully between numerous pagodas, tombs and temples. Hoi An, once a major port in Vietnam, is probably the most distinctive town and most importantly, cars are strictly forbidden. In truth, Vietnam had never been a country I had a burning desire to visit and plagued with thoughts of the war at the mention of the country, I had skipped past it many times on the map. But, upon hearing many fantastic reviews of such a distinctive destination, Liz and I headed for this South East‐Asian elongated country with breathless anticipation. And the highlights – the food and the locals. We were joining a tour that we’d booked in the UK and that evening we were greeted by a shy, Vietnamese young man who went by the name of Phu. And, what a man! Any question we fired his way he knew; dates, locations, history, you name it. It made my knowledge of the UK seem embarrassingly sparse. Next to join our team of explorers was a 60 year old German fella, who we later discovered had a real penchant for losing belongings and blaming hotel staff when it was secretly wrapped in his stolen hotel towel. An Australian family of five, a Polish vet and a honeymoon couple completed the group, so all in all, as we headed out for our first night together, the trip looked set to be incredibly interesting. On the second night together as a group, we boarded a traditional Vietnamese junk and spent the evening

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ACTION floating amongst the spooky limestone rock formations that make up Halong Bay, another of Vietnam’s UNESCO World Heritage Sites. What a fantastic bonding session! As we crowded around our chef, a master with incredible expertise, delicately carving strange shapes from all manner of vegetables, the ghostly shapes of the looming rocks drifted eerily past and I thought, “this is living!” After a more than gentle sleep, rocking to the beat of the waves, we spent the day discovering the incredible streets of Old Town Hanoi, where aromas arrest your senses and sights leave you culturally in‐tuned. Every street in Hanoi is dedicated to a certain trade, be it toys, textiles, phones and more, Hanoi has it. We wandered into the food market where I had my first taste of Vietnamese street food, Bành Ràn known to westerners as hollow doughnuts. A deliciously sweet deep fried treat filled with mashed mung bean and wrapped in a layer of sesame seeds. I had reservations about street food, but the locals were flocking there, so we followed suit. That evening we took an overnight sleeper train and left a hectic Hanoi behind us. I was lulled into a deep sleep with the sound of locals hollering at one another, children running around the carriages and the sweet smell of the impending countryside floating in. We woke early and the stark contrast between Hanoi and Hue was evident, as lush green fields, rice paddies and a calmer way of life engulfed us. The former Imperial capital, Hue (as we were so righteously informed is pronounced, “hwaayy”), holds Vietnam’s royal secrets, bursting with a mix of royal tombs, ancient citadels crumbling in recent times, beautiful temples coupled with modern homes and chic restaurants. After many hours exploring the infamous seven story pagoda, we went on the hunt again for some delicious food. Fish hadn’t always been high on my favourite foods list but not anymore; presented with a huge basa fish on a stick, I tucked in. Native to the Mekong Delta, the catfish was surprisingly un‐fishy in taste and even less smelly, perfect for someone like me! When we stumbled across a park jam‐packed with school children concentrating intently on a traditional game they were playing, we suddenly found ourselves being dragged, willingly of course, into their inner circle. Not one of us spoke any Vietnamese but with hand signals, we managed to understand the rules of “The King game” and witness one culture integrating with another in happy harmony. f

Top Tips For Trying Street Food Abroad WATCH HOW THE FOOD IS COOKED Everyone has different cooking standards and skills, but it’s always best to watch the food being cooked in front of you. That way you can assess if it’s fresh and make sure cooking standards are appropriate. AVOID EATING MEAT It’s very hard to store meat in cool places whilst on the road with limited electricity so steer clear of meat that has fermented in the sun that will be growing all manner of bacteria. ONLY EAT FRUIT THAT YOU CAN PEEL Fruit is often washed in local water and western travellers aren’t used to different or dirty water and a foul dose of stomach ache will be on the cards from un-sanitized water. Grab an orange, pineapple or apple and avoid the ache. CHOOSE A BUSY STALL Follow the locals; if they are eating then you should be too. It means the stall has a good reputation and you always return to a favourite restaurant. CHEAP ISN’T ALWAYS CHEERFUL It can be hard to budget when you’re travelling, particularly when there are loads of local goodies up for grabs, but going cheap on food doesn’t always save in the long run. It’s cheap for a reason and you don’t want it to be the reason your holiday is cut short.

Most delicious Vietnamese dishes I sampled a fair few dishes on my adventure and the food was definitely a highlight, here are some of the most mouth-watering: NÔM HOA CHUÕI (BANANA FLOWER SALAD) A surprisingly spicy mix of banana powder, fish sauce, garlic, radish and papaya along with a whole host of herbs, best served on a traditional banana blossom leaf. CA KHO TO (BRAISED FISH IN CLAY POTS) A classic family dish in Vietnam with a delicious infusion of salty sweetness. Lathered in a caramel sauce, sugar mixed with fish sauce and cooked through in a clay pot for around an hour, it’s best served with steamed rice and chilies. CANH CHUA CA (SWEET AND SOUR FISH SOUP) The sour fish soup is definitely an acquired taste, with the kaffir lime leaf and tamarind powder mixed with sweet crushed pineapple, but worth trying in KOTO restaurant in Ho Chi Minh – exceptional! CHE BAP Vietnam doesn’t have an abundance of puddings, but this dish of corn and tapioca pearls swathed in coconut milk is a fresh treat, made even better in the summer months when corn is rife.

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ACTION Where to try Vietnamese food in London Have the hunger for some Vietnamese but short on time? Here are our top four restaurants in London to sample some exotic cuisine. PHO CAFÉ Dedicated to street food, Pho Café was the first of its kind in London and specialises in “Pho”, Vietnam’s national delicious dish. Now with nine restaurants in London, Pho has grown and grown, spreading its delectable dishes far and wide. VIET GRILL This modern Vietnamese restaurant based in Shoreditch serves up the perfect mix of classic greats and tantalizing Vietnamese cocktails. You can try an array of street food inspired snacks and the classic pho, the legendary dish that takes over 18 hours to make! SÔNG QUÊ For 12 years, founders of Sông Quê Café have sated London’s appetite with delicious Vietnamese food and have given expert and authentic experiences to all their local customers.

As we ventured back home, we thought we’d seen it all until a man on a tiny moped sped past us with a fridge strapped to this back. That’s right, a normal sized fridge, balancing precariously on the back seat. Adding to the beauty of Vietnam, the ancient town of Hoi An is definitely their crown jewel, demonstrating an eclectic mix of French, Japanese and Vietnamese architecture. Lantern lit walls, quaint backstreets, two‐ story yellow stone houses, a laid‐back nature and masses of tailors easily made the town our favourite destination. Cycling through the surrounding villages, we witnessed local villagers at work in their paddies, lush green fields rolling into one another, small neighbourhoods huddling together and ox and water buffalo basking in their natural habitat. As we slowed to greet some locals, we were met by a small wrinkly man who was so happy to see us he insisted on sharing around free peanuts. Leading us over to a small shaded area beneath a tree, we were welcomed with a smile and “xin chao” and ordered to sit by a small, sun scored local Dzung, by banging his hand down on the floor fervently. He didn’t speak a word of English, but soon we were shelling mountains of peanuts that the local family had carefully pulled off the plant leaves. It was intricate and fiddly work, plus by the time I had finished my fingers were sore but I could only watch with a smile as Phu and Dzung chatted excitedly in Vietnamese and blasted through plenty of peanuts a minute. It was in Hoi An that I discovered my favourite meal of the trip; banana flower salad. Having a tour leader who has indispensable knowledge of their home country is so valuable as we were incredibly spoilt for choice with the divine restaurants he took us too. We often wouldn’t have ventured into them by ourselves and would have most sorely missed out. 14

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GREEN PAPAYA Located in the heart of Hackney, Green Papaya is a family run business and has been serving up traditional Vietnamese cuisine for 14 years. From rice to seafood, tofu to meat, there’s so much to choose from in one meal, you’ll be back for more.

On the ﬁnal evening we spent our last meal at KOTO, and yes there were a few tears – of course not from me! We gathered at KOTO, a training restaurant that gives street children education in cooking and gives them a job and skills for life. Not only was the food exceptional, the service was incredible and it was a lovely place to watch disadvantaged children blossom. As we rose above Ho Chi Minh, the city faded to a model village, and my wife leaned in to say: “Let’s visit again one day.” More a statement than a question. I try not to return to countries been and done, but for Vietnam, I reckon I could make an exception. n

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COLUMNISTS

ANT DELANEY

Diamond Geezer

24 – Live A Day

“T

here’s just never enough hours in the day.” He’d squeezed me in during a rare break for lunch arranged months in advance because his wife had begged me after church to try to intervene. Jamie spent five minutes telling me how great his world was; it took a while longer for the obvious truths to tumble out as he held the coffee cup. Still relatively young but feeling a lot older, perpetually exhausted but refusing to give in, last year he entered a mid‐life crisis “Uber‐ Man” triathlon and got injured over‐training so now he’d sacked off exercise. Feeling useless at home he tried even harder to do well at work where the rewards were tangible and the goals clear if not completely attainable. With the commute, he rarely did less than a 14‐hour day so when he got home the kids were usually in bed. He couldn’t sleep so he stayed up late drinking and watching stuff that made him feel guilty, so he couldn’t sleep at night, while his relationship with his wife got colder than his flat white because she always seemed irritable and impatient these days. I was doing the “man” thing now, waiting for

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a gap so I could tell him what I was thinking. The gap didn’t come as he described a familiar pattern for so many men I’ve met with and I knew he was wrong about his diagnosis of the problem. He didn’t need more time. He needed to use what he had better. His rituals and behaviour in terms of sleeping, eating, working and relating were perfectly suited to producing the exact results he was getting. Time is a finite resource of course, but there are enough hours in the day to get whatever you choose to do in them done – 24. If Jack Bauer can save the world in that amount of time, Jamie could go to bed and get up a little earlier, spend a little time in quiet prayer or meditation, feel more rested and motivated to do some moderate regular exercise, which would lead to some weight loss and reduce the stress so he’d drink less. He could do some great work by building in some time throughout the day to renew his physical, emotional and mental energy. People who do so have better home lives and consistently outperform those who never pause to rest. You’ve probably heard the story of the lumberjack who sharpened the saw after every tree and cut down far more than the guy who just kept hacking away with a blunt instrument? Jamie could say no to some money he didn’t really need to spend more time with those who really needed him, like the son struggling at school and withdrawing at home. “He needs his Dad,” Jamie’s wife kept telling him, “When we get that week away I’ll have time for that.”

Except he has to take the laptop there too this time, targets don’t take a break. This is one of the hardest parts of the job. What should I say? Just carry on listening? Crack the Bible open and read some wisdom like where Jesus warns of the dangers of worry and hurry in Matthew 5? Jamie paused long enough to look at his watch. He wouldn’t have time for me to read that.

“TIME IS A FINITE RESOURCE OF COURSE, BUT THERE ARE ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY TO GET WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO IN THEM DONE.” Maybe I should just encourage him to really have a proper day off. God’s idea from the beginning. Yes, that’s it. Or as a church leader, maybe I could just offer to pray for him? “Jamie I wonder whether…” The phone on the table burst into song. He picked it up with the bill and was half way out the door already. “Hey man great to talk with you thanks for making time it’s really helped. See you soon maybe in church, never enough hours are there?” n Anthony Delaney leads Ivy Churches in Manchester, he is the founder of New Thing UK, a movement to reproduce churches and equip networks of apostolic leaders. @anthonydelaney and @IvyChurchHub

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RUNNING HEAD COLUMNISTS

ALEX WILLMOTT

Your Will, Mott Mine

Trouble in Paradise And in a moment of true epiphany, this genius spotted Blizzard watching from the high rocks. He dreamt of becoming a YouTube sensation now. And as I watched him use food to coerce the innocent beast off a ten‐foot rock face, after which it fell head first onto concrete, I lost the plot. I don’t think those Americans had ever experienced Welsh wrath before.

“I WAS THE NEWLYWED, SQUARE HEADED, WELSH JAMES BOND, LICENSED TO DRINK RUM AND COKE WITH THE OCCASIONAL SMOKE.”

’m pleased to confirm what has been said by millions of others – honeymoons are incredibly enjoyable. I felt like Daniel Craig walking out of those electric blue Caribbean waters… without his physique, ambition, style, purpose and sexual gravitas of course. I was the newly‐wed, square headed, Welsh James Bond, licensed to drink rum and coke with the occasional smoke. However, as beautiful as the Caribbean backdrop was, it appeared that the way of the idiot had been mastered even in paradise. Let me put you in the picture. Our hotel swimming pool had a waterfall, obviously. Around the waterfall there were lizards watching the humans like amphibian guardians. Most of them were small, like the size of a green bean. However, there was one that I named “Blizzard” because he was the closest thing to a dinosaur I’d ever encountered. As my wife and I sat beside the pool, drinking and seldom swimming, a

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group of American twenty‐somethings pitched up. One of them was there for a photo‐shoot that week. Yes, he was some sort of model. Brilliant. It was this model of a man who soon proved he had just two brain cells, one of which was lost, and the other had gone looking. To entertain his group of eight worshippers, he began chasing the lizards. And despite his blatant intellectual disadvantage, he caught one. After he had captured this creature, which was desperate to flee his grasp at any opportunity, he threw it into the chlorine‐ filled pool. His friends became orgasmic. They cheered and celebrated yet another foreign victory. As we sat, astonished, a family of four sitting opposite us also grew concerned. The Americans were so focused on getting YouTube hits out of it that they must have forgotten that chlorine doesn’t mix well with the eyes of a lizard. They must have thought this particular lizard was immune to the ulcers he would likely develop.

“Well done clown! And that’s why you’re from the most developed nation on Earth is it? We’ve all been waiting for your brain cells to spark mate, but no… they’ve deserted you. What an incredible talent you are!” His friends returned to their phones immediately, as he walked back to his seat like a child. I was applauded by the adjacent family of four. Here’s the question my wife and I discussed later. Would Jesus have said anything? I’m not sure Jesus would have tried to provoke the man into a fight, or used half as much sarcasm as me, or been drinking as much rum and smoking a rollie throughout… but he would have spoken, surely? I saw Blizzard the next day. I think he liked me. n Alex Willmott penned the epic Selah trilogy. Former newspaper journalist, sports fanatic and local football manager, Alex took a vow to live life to the full after reading the book of John in the Bible aged 16. Visit www.alexwillmott.com for more information. @alexinboxes

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CULTURE

MOVIES

With Martin Leggatt

A Walk Among the Tombstones Former NYPD cop turned private detective, Matthew Scudder (Liam Neeson at his growly best), is hired by drug dealing crime boss, Yuri Landau (Sebastian Roché), to discover who was responsible for the kidnapping and murder of his wife. A recovering alcoholic, Scudder must battle his inner demons and his former colleagues who seem both reluctant and powerless to track down those responsible, ultimately risking becoming as evil as the men he is after. A great supporting cast allows Neeson to barely break sweat in what has become for him his stock in trade character, but hey, if I’m in an as good butt‐kicking‐shape when I hit 62 then I’ll be more than happy. Directed by Scott Frank (Minority Report, The Wolverine) and adapted from a Dan Block novel A Walk Among the Tombstones stars Liam Neeson, Dan Stevens and Boyd Halbrook.

The Equalizer If like me you were an avid viewer of the cult ‘80s television series The Equalizer, you might be a little upset or mildly outraged that the Hollywood vogue for remaking pretty much “everything that has gone before” has now included this Edward Woodward classic. In this revamp starring Denzel Washington, Chloe Grace Moretz and Bill Pullman, McCall (Washington) is now a formidable ex‐special forces black ops specialist who, having tired of his old life, has faked his own death

to live an anonymous existence in Boston. The quiet life can only last for a short time before he is awakened into battle against formidable Russian gangsters. The plot of the ﬁlm follows pretty much the formula from any of the series episodes, with McCall hired to track down and rescue a missing girl. As the old strapline says: “If someone has a problem, if the odds are stacked against them, if they have nowhere else to turn, McCall will help. He is The Equalizer.”

Kingsman: The Secret Service

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The winning writing combination of Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman are behind this Mark Millar comic book adaption. This latest Vaughn‐ directed action thriller centres on veteran secret agent, Harry Hart (Colin Firth), mentoring a young upstart in a bid to stop an evil genius’ plot that threatens the world. Action packed with tongue planted ﬁrmly in cheek, this delivers action and laughs in equal measure. The ﬁlm features the cream of British acting talent: Colin Firth, Michael Caine, Jack Davenport and Mark Strong, ably assisting the stellar Samuel L. Jackson. Kingsman also includes surprise appearances from Lady Gaga, Elton John, Adele, David Beckham and Luke Skywalker himself, Mr Mark Hamill.

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CULTURE

Fury In the lead up to writing this review I have been bombarded with emails, twitter updates and stills for this latest offering from director David Ayer. This WW2 action thriller set during the final stages of the war in 1945 sees a tenacious Sherman tank commander, Wardaddy (Brad Pitt), leading his crew on a deadly and desperate mission behind enemy lines. The aim is to strike at the very heart of the Nazi regime and send shockwaves throughout Germany. Starring Brad Pitt, Scott (son of Clint) Eastwood, Logan Lerman, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Pena as the crew of the Sherman and (a big hello to) Jason Isaacs, this action comedy is set to be the big blockbuster this autumn; just don’t expect it to be anything like Inglourious.

The Judge Hank Palmer (Robert Downey Jr) is a highflying big city lawyer who returns to his hometown for his mother’s funeral only to find that his father, Joseph Palmer (Robert Duvall) the local judge, is accused of her murder. In a bid to discover the truth he inadvertently finds himself reconciled to his estranged family that he had left behind as he defends his father from the ruthless prosecution of Dwight Dickham (Billy Bob Thornton), a man who seems to have his own malicious agenda. The remainder of an excellent cast also includes: Vera Farmiga, Leighton Meester, Vincent D’Onofrio, David Krumholtz, Dax Shepard and Jeremy Strong.

The Interview Seth Rogen and James Franco star in this comedy as Aaron Rappaport and David Skylark, a pair of journalists who, in a desperate bid to be recognised as being “serious”, gain access to interview the North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un. They are then approached by the C.I.A who seize upon the opportunity to carry out a hare brained assassination attempt. The film has caused a minor political storm of its own with the North Korean Central News Agency threatening retaliation if the film is released. This kind of publicity will possibly draw more viewers than otherwise could have been bothered. Martin Leggatt is married to Sue and father to Aaron, Sam, Hope and Paige. He’s a self‐ confessed movie geek, although his tastes run to an eclectic assortment of action, thriller, black and white, war and pretentious (as Sue would say) art house ﬁlms. Martin’s favourite ﬁlm is Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter of Life and Death. @martylegg

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CULTURE

TELEVISION With Emily Russell

Holmesian Action

“I

t has its costs, learning to see the puzzle in everything… Once you start looking, it’s impossible to stop.” – Sherlock Holmes, Elementary Another modern‐day Sherlock Holmes? After the success of the BBC’s Sherlock, America got in on the Holmesian action too. In this version it’s Jonny Lee Miller playing the lead role, a British Sherlock Holmes working in New York City as a consultant for the police, particularly Captain Gregson (Aidan Quinn). Working alongside him is ex‐surgeon Joan Watson (Lucy Liu) who has been employed by Sherlock’s father to be Sherlock’s “sober companion”, to help him deal with the transition from rehab to everyday life. Only she really doesn’t know what she’s let herself in for.

“HE CHEERFULLY PICKS APART HER PERSONALITY AND HER PERSONAL LIFE.” Sherlock is twitchy and abrupt, able to discern hidden things about a person often just from their belongings. It astonishes and annoys

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Joan as he cheerfully picks apart her personality and her personal life, shoving his way into where he isn’t wanted. “I don’t guess, I observe, and once I’ve observed, I deduce,” Sherlock tells her. It’s an amazing skill to witness, but it’s also extremely unnerving to have your secrets laid bare and your life interfered with without your say‐so.Unsurprisingly Joan isn’t the only one to feel this way. It’s no wonder Sherlock has no friends, a fact that he himself is painfully aware of. Despite this, Joan is able to see beyond the prickly persona that Sherlock inhabits and pushes against everybody else. “I don’t have meaningful connections,” Sherlock claims, only for Joan to correct him saying: “You can connect with people, it just frightens you.” He’s been hurt in the past, so hurt that he left the UK for America and now he does everything possible to keep those around him from caring about or connecting with him. He doesn’t ever want to be so hurt again. He doesn’t want to analyse himself too deeply either. As Joan pointedly observes: “It’s incredible, the way that you can solve people just by looking at them. I notice you don’t have any mirrors around here.” So now for the question that most people ask, is it as good as Sherlock?

Well, both shows feature a modern‐ day Holmes so there’s bound to be similarities. Both shows give us knotty cases, an abrasive Sherlock, and frequent scenes of Sherlock’s impossibly correct deductions appearing out of nowhere and shocking everybody. But the characters themselves feel different, not like a poor copy, which is good. Maybe it’s having an American female Watson for the first time. The Watson‐Holmes relationship definitely feels fresh and intriguing. It’s great watching them learn from each other, despite major frustrations. They grow together and reveal hidden layers and depths without losing the enjoyable spikiness of their relationship while also becoming the team we know that they should be. There isn’t a need for Elementary, but I’m glad it’s here as it’s definitely fun, compelling and absorbing enough to warrant further investigation. n Emily Russell has a degree in Media and Film Studies and works part‐time for the University of Southampton. She wrote Culturewatch articles for the Damaris Trust website (www.damaris.org) for eight years and watches far too much science‐ﬁction and fantasy, crime shows, and wrestling. She is married to Anthony. Her ﬁlm articles can be read at www.emilyrussellwrites.wordpress.com @funkyinfishnet

Season Two of Elementary is currently being repeated on Sky Living. Series One & Two are available on DVD.

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CULTURE Rhian Askins

THEATRE With Mark Stibbe

Epstein: The Man Who Made The Beatles

Rhian Askins

hinking men have a choice these days – they can either watch eleven overpaid men disappoint them on a football pitch, or two men at the top of their game on a London stage, brilliantly unveiling the tortured soul of one of the unsung heroes of British pop history, the enigmatic Brian Epstein. For those in the dark, Epstein was the manager behind the Beatles – a man who has in many ways been shrouded in mystery until writer Andrew Sherlock brought him to life in this dramatic stage production. Epstein himself is given a long awaited voice in a breathtaking performance by Andrew Lancel (Coronation Street, The Bill). That voice is evoked by Will Finlason who plays a young James Dean look‐alike identiﬁed simply as “this boy”. This Boy visits Epstein shortly before the latter’s death by accidental overdose aged only 32 in 1967. He is a boy on a quest – to probe beyond the manager to the man. Both these actors enlarge our vision in diﬀerent ways. Lancel by exhibiting a wide range of emotions in his meticulously researched impersonation (from a chasmic sense of isolation to outright terror caused by the abuse he received over his sexuality); Finlason by playing a variety of roles (from investigative reporter to the “rugger” playing

bully who verbally and physically humiliates the schoolboy Epstein for being “queer”). This stunning range displayed by both actors creates a duet whose resonances are richer than most sung on the stages of highly populated musicals.

“WE ARE LEFT WITH A PORTRAIT OF A MAN WHO WAS INDEED A GENIUS, BUT ALSO AN ADDICT AND AN OUTCAST.” Perhaps the most abiding image on the sparse set is the many panelled mirrors in the entrance to Epstein’s London ﬂat which functions as a powerful metaphor for Epstein’s fractured soul. It is a mirror into which Epstein stares at as “This Boy” reveals the face behind his hero’s face. In the end, thanks to Jen Heyes’ restrained direction, we are left with a portrait of a man who was indeed a genius, but also an addict and an outcast. A man tormented by his sense of isolation in his family home, his school, his culture and even in the band that he worked so tirelessly to promote. It is truly a tour de force – minimalist storytelling, maximum impact.

So I’d recommend men make a wise choice: don’t suffer 90 minutes watching eleven men on a pitch. Enjoy 90 minutes of a two‐part drama in which two men sing the tragic song of an unsung hero who launched our greatest singing heroes. It is an elegiac song played to a Mersey beat – one that will fill you with nostalgia and stir you with compassion. n Dr Mark Stibbe is an award‐winning Christian author who has over thirty popular books and five academic books in print. His first book was a collection of poems (published when he was 16). Many of his popular books have been bestsellers and his academic books are required reading in universities and seminaries all over the world. Recently Mark has taken to writing works of fiction and is currently developing a series of novels about an English Spy Vicar in the time of the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars. Mark has given himself to coaching writers and has been running a service called ‘The Script Doctor’. He is now the CEO and founder of KWS (Kingdom Writing Solutions), a holistic service for writers. He is also a popular contributor at writer’s conferences and workshops.

Epstein: The Man Who Made The Beatles is playing until 6 September 2014 at The Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, London WC2H 7BX.

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CULTURE

DVD & BLU RAY With Martin Leggatt

A Million Ways to Die in the West Seth MacFarlane stars, produces, writes and directs this western comedy that had very mixed reviews on its cinematic release. Personally I liken Macfarlane to a popular brand of yeast spread; you either love him or hate him, and make no mistakes, based on this evidence he is no auteur. The redeeming feature of the film is the appearance against his current character type by Liam Neeson as the splendidly named Clinch Leatherwood, a notorious and deadly gunslinger who rides into town seeking revenge on the person who has been fooling around with his wife Anna (Charlize Theron). That person is Albert Stark (MacFarlane), a timid and cowardly shepherd who has previously chickened out of a gunfight and lost his previous girlfriend Louise

The Amazing Spiderman 2 Andrew Garfield puts on the spidey‐ suit in this sequel as, together with his girlfriend Gwen (Emma Stone), Spiderman battles against the formidable Electro (Jamie Foxx) to save New York. Electro is unmasked as Max Dillon, a former Oscorp employee who developed his superpowers after falling into a tank filled with electric eels (as you do) and who has formed a deluded sense of friendship with Spiderman. After Spiderman rejects his friendship the spurned Electro sets off on a crime spree. As the adventure continues we see the resurgence of an old foe at the heart of the plot: Oscorp. I must admit I’m still struggling with Garfield as Spiderman, I still see Tobey Maguire as the man behind the web.

(Amanda Seyfried). However, his latest romance has seemingly transformed him into a bolder, more confident man. Or has it? Will Albert revert to his former character or stay true to his love induced

bravery? Look out for a very surprising cameo from Jamie Foxx as Django that, Neeson apart, is one of a few highlights for me. If you liked Ted, then you’ll love this.

Frank

300: Rise of an Empire

A comedy music drama starring Domhnall Gleeson as Jon, a struggling musician who joins a band with a bizarre front‐man called Frank (Michael Fassbender) – a man who performs wearing an outside papier‐mache head and has a very scary girlfriend called Clara (Maggie Gyllenhall). They decide to do what every band does; retreat to an isolated cabin to record their seminal album where, amid the ensuing creative tensions, the band’s very existence is called into question. The more sophisticated (read as middle‐aged) among us will remember the ‘80s comedy character called Frank Sidebottom who was surely the inspiration behind the film. My general rule of thumb is that Michael Fassbender is incapable of delivering a bad performance and even a role this quirky passes the test.

A long awaited sequel to the film that famously gave us an awesomely ripped Gerard Butler screaming: “This is Spartaaaaaaaa!” This follow‐ up, also based on a Frank Miller graphic novel, Xerxes, takes the action to a new battlefield in which Greek general Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) is attempting to unite all Greece. In order to accomplish this he must thwart the invading Persian forces led by Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and the commander of the Persian navy Artemisia (Eva Green). I’m going through a little bit of a Frank Miller fan boy stage at the moment and really like the way the film adaptations of his work achieve the fusion between real action with the CGI generated effect of the graphic novels.

The Mentalist: Season 6 Have we finally seen the back of Red John? Will Jane escape the clutches of the F.B.I and more importantly will Jane and Lisbon finally stop the endless flirtation and actually get together? For the uninitiated, the Mentalist is Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) a consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation, who uses his unique skills of people 26

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reading and hypnosis to solve serious crimes, while all the time pursuing his own private agenda of tracking down a mysterious, but incredibly well‐connected serial killer known as Red John. Red John was responsible for the horrific murder of Patrick’s wife and daughter as an act of retribution for Patrick’s mocking of him in a radio interview and his life to

date has been a continuous walk for revenge. This has come at a cost as he has isolated himself from all but a very close group of colleagues who very rarely get let in. It’s probably an advantage to have seen the preceding five seasons, but even without that knowledge you will still find this excellent Bruno Heller series very entertaining.

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CULTURE

BOOKS

With Mark Anderson

Harry than the case itself, such as the exploitation of his alcohol addiction. It would not be a detective story without the lead character having a weakness. The story starts off well but then meanders.

Wolf Jack Caffery Series 7 by Mo Hayder

Detective Thrillers The Visitors by Simon Sylvester

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This is Simon Sylvester’s first novel and it’s amazing. Set on a remote Scottish island called Bancre, Sylvester takes us on a journey following Flo, a teenager whose research for school leads her to a plot that thickens when people start disappearing. All fingers are pointed to a shadowy man and his daughter who recently moved into a cottage on the island. Flo believes the alluring man is not to blame and is determined to exonerate him and find out what the truth is.

Jesus Is by Judah Smith Judah Smith is a young energetic pastor. His book is simple; it’s about Jesus and who He is. I love the style of writing, the stories that merge with scripture to make it readable and memorable. There are six chapters with a heading in each that brings focus to who Jesus was, is and is to come. Thought provoking, funny and written by a preacher from a big church with a humble heart.

I Think Therefore I Play by Andrea Pirlo With the World Cup over and the four‐year wait for another beginning, we witnessed the final

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act of a footballing great in an Azzurri top. I couldn’t wait to flick through the autobiography of Andrea Pirlo. I was very intrigued by the stories that highlighted Pirlo’s desire to stay at his favourite club but was shunned. Although it is full of boasting, this is forgiven because of the pure artistry he had on the pitch!

Cockroaches: An early Harry Hole Case by Jo Nesbo Harry Hole (Nesbo could have chosen a better detective name!) travels to Bangkok to investigate a murder of an ambassador; however the authorities do their upmost to disrupt the case. This is a prequel type book, which gives you more of an insight into

Let me give you an insight into my world of books. I am shamelessly drawn towards detective books or dark thrillers. It is my favourite genre, trailed by inspirational books and closely followed by autobiographies. Mo Hayder is the first author who ticked all my boxes, first off. I picked up her book Birdman many years ago quickly followed by Ritual. If you liked the series True Detective starring Matthew Mcconaughey and Woody Harrelson, you will love Mo Hayder’s books. Wolf goes back to Mo Hayder’s best. Hayder creates suspense like no other, your heart races as you read as fast as you can down the page, the paper ready to turn, or button, on your e‐reader, pushed halfway down. Hayder’s series is centred around Jack Caffery, a detective with a dark history. His brother was snatched from his garden as a child, which was revealed in previous books and is not a plot spoiler. This chink in his emotional armour gives Jack a by‐ball to get angry and he becomes more determined to apprehend criminals. This book differs because it is two tales that converge into one. I find Mo Hayder’s writing ingenious and magnetic. I do have a soft spot for Jack Caffery, I feel he is deeply tortured and Jack’s work is a form of expressing his wounds as he finds himself in common with the victims’ families and has the possibility of bringing their suffering to an end by either finding their missing child/person alive or indeed finding their loved one’s killer. Being drawn into the world of the worst crimes is scary, however it is a reality that is out there in modern Britain and Mo’s books give the reader an interesting glimpse into why they are possibly carried out and acted upon. Dark, breathtaking and addictive. n Mark was born in Belfast and developed a book and football obsession at a young age. He and wife Lisa belong to Fishgate, a church plant in Newtownabbey. Read Mark’s musings at overtakenheart.blogspot.co.uk. @Marky_MarkA

Jesus is

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I Think Therefore I Play

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Cockroaches: An early Harry Hole Case

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Wolf Jack Caffery Series 7

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CULTURE

MUSIC

Various Artists Unbelievable – Live Worship From Spring Harvest

With Sue Rinaldi

Who’s got the X Factor?

Ed Sheeran X

Coldplay Ghost Stories

If you like your music live and bursting with faith, then Unbelievable will hit the sweet spot. Recorded across two locations, this Easter event gathers thousands and invites some of the top names in contemporary worship. The result is a strong and stirring collection of heavenly moments; at times abounding with dance‐ infused energy in “God’s Great Dance Floor” and “Let It Be Known” and then seamlessly shifting to a more reflective and intimate exchange in “Ready For You” and “Oceans”. For those who attended, this album will recall meaningful memories. For others, the rhyme and rhythm of the saints accompanied by a range of bands, including Hillsong London and Worship Central, will inspire.

Brad Corrigan Someday Is Today

Various Artists

Ed Sheeran

Unbelievable

X Cynics may have dismissed Sheeran’s first album as bland but this mini‐guitar‐wielding, singer‐songwriter is marching on with all melodic and lyrical guns blazing to prove them wrong. Alongside guest producers and writers, this boy from Suffolk has released a sure‐fire winner and with bold, lead single “Sing” storming the charts, the future looks bright! Not bad for a boy who sings about love and heartbreak, a cheating celebrity girlfriend in “Don’t” and his grandfather’s death in the poignant “Afire Love”. Sheeran’s artistic armoury is loaded with gift, charm and courage, drawing you into melodic storyboards and encircling you with a fusion of folk, hip‐hop and R&B. His follow‐up album was never going to be an easy one, but with a more expansive sound and soul‐ tinged vocal, it’s clear he really does have the X factor!

Brad Corrigan Someday Is Today

Musician, humanitarian and storyteller are three pretty spectacular words to describe Denver‐born Brad Corrigan. Influences of reggae, rock and folk unite into a world music attitude and Corrigan’s voice and style is fresh and convincing. “Fingerprints of Grace” and “In This Place” unveil his spiritual journey and protest song “Apology”, highlights his pioneering equality initiatives. As an advocate for many causes, his heart for social justice shines. Musically, Corrigan also shines and his energy and warmth is very appealing. n Sue Rinaldi travels internationally as a concert artist, worship co‐ordinator, speaker and creative consultant. A self‐confessed info junkie and movie enthusiast, her interest in culture, justice, technology and the future fuels her living and writing (www.suerinaldi.net). @suerinaldimedia

Coldplay Ghost Stories After five mighty‐sized albums, the guitar‐generous band that detonated the pop world with debut single “Yellow” is now a shade on the mellow side. As alluring as Chris Martin’s vocals may be, and as appealing as the keyboard and electronic flavours may sound, Ghost Stories will flicker with split opinions. It’s clearly a concept album, guiding us through the pain of

Martin’s troubled relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow. And even though the songs have a heartache narrative, the overwhelming air of candid melancholy is never depressing. In fact, “Oceans” and “O” are beautiful. A welcome departure is “A Sky Full Of Stars”, verging on EDM courtesy of Avicii sharing production. Now the ghosts have been exorcised and Coldplay have reset their algorithm, there’s excitement about what’s coming next. Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

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LIFESTYLE

TIM BARNES-CLAY

Cars

GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

Audi R8 Coupe AUDI’S R8, the emperor of the Germanic brand’s line‐up, stirs up a heady soup of emotions when you slip behind its wheel.

ot only does the dazzling supercar look good enough to eat, it almost ﬂirts with you, tempting you to throw away your worries and immerse yourself in its company. Flushed cheeks, a racing heart and clammy hands are all the sensations you’ll experience when you first start up the Audi. And inside your body there’ll be changes that signal Cupid has fired his arrow. In all honestly the R8, especially in V10 guise as tested here with a Lamborghini‐derived 5.2‐ litre engine, will get your dopamine and serotonin chemicals bubbling. Yes, what I’m saying is that you’ll fall in love, or certainly

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lust, with the two‐door coupe. It’s a true beauty; a work of automotive art and the model has recently become even more stunning to look at, let alone drive. Aesthetically, the R8 now comes with all‐light‐emitting diode (LED) headlights, and a single‐frame grille. A redesigned diffuser and huge, round tailpipes are the most eye‐catching new features. The rear lights include dynamic indicators, a global first from Audi. Produced by LEDs, the turn signal runs from the inside out in the direction in which you want to go. On the road, the R8 V10 completes the zero to 62mph sprint in 3.6 seconds and has an autobahn focused top speed of 195mph. The

ten‐cylinder engine produces 518bhp and churns out 390.91 lb‐ft of turning force (torque) to the crankshaft at 6,500 rpm. The seven‐speed S tronic gearbox, which replaces the R tronic used previously, is standard in all V10 models. The fast shifting dual‐clutch transmission features an ingenious launch control function that provides the best possible traction when the car flexes its muscles and takes off. The might of the engine’s output momentarily thumps you back into your seat when the Audi’s clout is unleashed via the Quattro permanent all‐wheel drive system. And the sound of the car is almost as seductive as its looks.

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LIFESTYLE Even at moderate speed there’s a deep, multi‐layered, glorious rumble. But hit the R8’s “Sport” button and you get a gratifying crackling and popping on the downshifts. The snarl is animalistic, and deeply nourishing for any petrol head’s ears. Inside, the high‐performance sports car is now even more sophisticated. You and your passenger sit in bucket seats with folding backrests, and the seat covers and inserts in the door liners are quilted. Getting comfortable behind the wheel is easy and it’s surprisingly straightforward to drive. That said; the grunting, visceral tone emitting from the powertrain assembled behind the two front seats keeps you respectful of the Audi’s capabilities at all times. A car’s ability to accelerate quickly and reach

a blistering top speed is, naturally, desirable. However it’s the handling dynamics, and talent to drive rapidly through the bends, that make for a spine‐tingling driving experience. And that’s where the R8 V10 delivers. The Audi will turn your grey matter to jelly on the straights and it’ll make your liver quiver on B roads. But what it does best is go around corners quickly with the utmost stability and that, of course, is what every car enthusiast wants. n Tim is an experienced motoring writer with a background in radio and TV journalism. He puts his pedal to the metal each issue with his must‐read car reviews. Tweet Tim Barnes‐Clay @carwriteups www.carwriteups.co.uk. @carwriteups

PROS ‘N’ CONS

3 3 3 3 7

• Power • Looks • Sound • Handling • Licence loser

FAST FACTS Max speed: 195 mph 0-62 mph: 3.6 secs Combined mpg: 21.6 Engine: 5204cc 10 cylinder 40 valve petrol Max. power (bhp): 518 Max. torque (lb/ft): 390 CO2: 305 g/km Price: £117,710 on the road

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LIFESTYLE

ADRIANA LOPEZ

Road Test

Conquer the Can-Am SSV

“W

ow, wow, wow!” That is all I can say about the new range of Can‐Am SSV’s, that’s side‐ by‐side vehicle to you and I. Although I could mention how easy they are to handle (if you can drive an automatic car, you can drive these bad boys). I could also mention how fuel eﬃcient the new Can‐Am’s are, about how you can now customise your SSV to ﬁt your lifestyle and how each and every SSV has the renowned Rotax engine from BRP.

“IF YOU CAN DRIVE AN AUTOMATIC CAR, YOU CAN DRIVE THESE BAD BOYS.” I could go into all the specifics of the SSV’s but I’m going to tell you about the good stuff, about how driving these beauties through rugged terrain was a pleasure and incredibly easy to drive, even going through rocks and back country roads was as smooth as could be. I’m going to tell you that there is something quite gratifying about being behind the wheel and seeing a massive rock and thinking “I’m going to drive over you” and actually doing it! The starting price for these new wonders commence at around the £10k mark, yes, a tad bit on the luxury item pricing, but can you really put a price on happiness and conquering a massive rock? I don’t think so. n Adriana is an American expat living in the south of England. She truly believes most things can be solved with a cup of coffee and a hug. She can usually be found in a comic book store and has been known to travel for a good burrito.

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LIFESTYLE

L0pht’s Conversion of Security Cyber and online security has never been more present in the headlines than in these times of targeted attacks and state‐ sponsored surveillance. 20 years ago one group made a diﬀerence, security journalist Dan Raywood looks at the legacy of the L0pht.

oftware security updates are generally an inconvenience – they appear at the most inopportune moments when a restart is the last thing you want to do. They appear for pretty much all software and remain the best advice to keep your computer secure from attackers and suspicious web traffic. However it is worth considering how these updates came to be – is it Apple, Microsoft and Java admitting that there are flaws in their system with a “here you are user, a nice easy patch for your computer to ensure it’s safe now”? Far from it! Who would build something and then admit that there are vulnerabilities in the code and a fix needs to be issued? The story behind these updates lies with groups of researchers who pressured the software manufacturers into fixing the flaws that those people had detected. One such group was the Boston‐based L0pht, who at their strongest consisted of around 12 people. They were not the only group, but they became the most famous after they were invited to testify to the US Senate after eight years of activity. 34

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“EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE TESTED AT LEAST BEFORE THEY SHIP, IF NOT AFTER, AND VENDORS NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THINGS THAT THEY SHIP.” This year marks 15 years since the Senate appearance and I spoke with four members of the group – Weldpond, Dildog, Kingpin and Space Rogue. Nowadays the four men have carved out careers in the IT Security industry: Weldpond (Chris Wysopal) and Dildog (Christien Rioux) as founders of the Boston‐ based security company Veracode; Kingpin (Joe Grand) as a noted consultant in California; and Space Rogue (Cris Thomas) has worked for a number of companies in security and as a regular conference speaker. So were L0pht just a bunch of hackers? Space Rogue said that when they were doing this, they “just wanted to get stuﬀ ﬁxed”.

He said: “That was the goal as we were deploying software solutions and had technologies along with our regular jobs, so all we wanted was to get stuff fixed. We didn’t care about hacktivism or have any over‐ reaching thing apart from wanting to get security right and get it fixed. I don’t see that from any other group today, other companies and individuals have that same sort of drive but no independent group trying to get security right so the gaps are repaired and users are safer.” So was this something that they did for fun, or that they enjoyed doing? Weldpond said: “In the beginning it was something on the side, something to do and something we were interested in, it was beyond a hobby as it was something that we really believed in, a second calling. But it started to overlap with what you could do in a job because the security industry was changing over time to talking about what hackers were doing and deeply technology works rather than being complaint and product focused. “When I started at the L0pht it was back when it was coming together in 1992, and there was a space and already a group of six or seven people who were sharing that space and using it to work on projects – software, hardware, not necessarily security projects but reverse engineering and taking things apart to see how they work.” Dildog added: “it was very similar to what goes on today, as there are a lot of houses where people share tools as they need training. This was a hacker/maker space which back in the day wasn’t the thing really. Now they take the influence from the maker space to create a hacker space, it is a very interesting trend.” So a group of people came together with a common interest to find flaws and pressure the vendor to fix that flaw. Weldpond said that over time, it evolved into a research think tank as the group wanted to do research, and wanted to get the word out to people about what they were doing and what they were finding. “It did seem to get more externally focused over time and it did seem that we had a mission to educate people on the insecurity of software, the insecurity of everyday devices that were computer controlled, so we started doing research and it became more of a public advocacy group.” So was it a case of find a flaw, call the

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Microsoft helpdesk and claim a nice big cash prize, or “bug bounty”? Hardly. In fact, the four men told me that in the early days there was no procedure at all and there was no one at the vendor either listening or would know what to do with the information. This left the group with the option to release the information publicly and face the vendor’s wrath and likely legal action. Weldpond said: “We would release it on a mailing list and put it on a website, and the vendors would eventually fix it if they wanted to, but there was no process and part of the evolution was that Microsoft eventually came to us and said ‘if you send us this information before you release it we could fix it, and you could release the information and it would be fixed’. So it was that reaction that people call today ‘coordinated disclosure’.” Dildog said: “At the same time that Microsoft had one person answering email for the security section they moved from being one of the more irresponsible companies with their security to being more responsible giving what they had to fix.” He also added that there was not a marketplace for exploits back then, so there was not the option to sell the vulnerability to an attacker or even a Government, but this was a collective with its heads firmly wearing ethical hats. At the time of his joining in 1993, Kingpin was only 16: “It was more than a place to use computers, it was almost a refuge and I got to bring my non‐technical friends and we got to do all the computer stuff which was a new thing as most people didn’t have home computers and the internet was such a young thing.” Kingpin admitted that there were difficulties in working with the software vendors, but they also realised that they could inform the public and industry by advising on vulnerabilities, and once they realised that they could educate the community that way, the vendors said that even though they don’t like hearing that they

have a vulnerability, they could still educate people on such issues, and that is how the whole full disclosure thing started. So flaws get found, and get fixed, so we are all secure right? Well while desktop and server software can be fixed with a few clicks; there is still a lot more work to be done. Space Rogue said that on the flipside, the paying of cash rewards has pushed researchers to find “security issues in areas where they didn’t exist or they didn’t think to look for them before”. He said: “So you have people looking for security issues in things such as security cameras, or cars or medical devices where people’s lives are at stake and these sort of devices either didn’t have the technology in

them that they did ten years ago that would enable them to be broken into, while now you have people putting Bluetooth in heart pumps for no good reason and it creates an avenue of attack. “Everything needs to be tested at least before they ship, if not after, and vendors need to be held accountable for things that they ship. But this has consistently proved not to be the case with vendors dragging their feet as they do not get paid to issue a patch, you already bought the product. There is no software to reissue the software to fix it, so they have to be pressured to do it by the consumer.” This is the next issue to address for the security industry, and it could be even harder as the manufacturers have to realise that this is something to deal with, much like the software vendors did 20 years ago. Will a group emerge and tackle the problems in non‐software based technologies the way that L0pht did? Weldpond said he doubted it, as there is no clear thread on how to do it, while Kingpin downplayed the legacy aspect, calling them “a bunch of hackers in a group helped to shape the security industry”. He said: “We were just a group of people who worked together and got on together and did something. I haven’t found any group of people who could gel together like the L0pht since then.” That they were, but because of their actions they managed to get the world’s biggest software companies to sit up and take notice of their security problems and address them. This has spawned divisions of the security industry which is focused on vulnerability research, patching and brokering payments for flaws. Just a few clicks from security? That restart took effort and pressure and some brilliant minds making influential actions to change the security of computers around the world. n Dan Raywood is editor of IT Security Guru

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TOP GEAR

The greatest gear, gadgets and gizmos we could find

Sorted. TOP BUY

Cucumbo Spiral Slicer Cucumbo. No, we don’t mean the shrewd and slightly bosseyed detective; we’re talking about the Spiral Slicer that transforms your average elongated foodstuff into exciting and beautiful curls. Make healthy eating as fun as it can possibly get. Put a twist in your tuna and cucumber sandwich, a spring in your salad, and turn that tiresome courgette into a precarious helter-skelter for your peas.

£7.99 www.firebox.com

KitSound Kingston

Zapi Toothbrush Sanitisers

Developed with spontaneous Caribbean street parties in mind, the Kingston was inspired by the sound system concept of Jamaican DJs who took to loading up their trucks with generators, turntables and speakers to set up impromptu street parties. With a rechargeable battery, powerful sound and multiple ways to connect a wide range of instruments and devices, the KS Kingston could be the ultimate portable PA system.

Good for your health and stealth, these ingenious battery-operated gizmos use germicidal ultraviolet light to annihilate the germs on your toothbrush. Yes, we realise putting your toothbrush in a comedy ninja or owl-pigeon makes about as much sense as shoving your elbow in a blancmange, but this is highly effective, scientifically proven technology.

£99.99 www.amazon.co.uk

£24.99 www.firebox.com

Flat Pack Cardboard Foosball Table Clear a space in the lounge/loft/man-cave because the Flat Pack Cardboard Foosball Table is here to bring everyone’s favourite fast-paced football frenzy into your home. Featuring everything you’d expect from a Foosball Table and more – but at a fraction of the price, it arrives flat-packed and can be quickly assembled without the need for any glue, screws or tools. But best of all it folds back down into an easy-to-carry package so that it’s completely portable.

£79.99 www.firebox.com 36

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Power Tap No matter how smart they look, regular plugs are dead boring and an outright eye-sore. So stop settling for such dullard wall fixtures and plug in this tactile piece of electrical plumbing. Made from rugged ABS plastic and styled like a regular household tap; just insert your USB device, give it a twist and unleash a stream of power from the spout.

£14.99 www.firebox.com

Numark iDJ Pro You’ll love this kit that gives budding DJ’s an all-new mixing experience. Along with its great looks it’s equipped with all the premium components you’d expect from a Numark controller, plus some features that will inspire brand-new surges of creativity. Thanks to your iPad’s wireless capability, you’ll have access to virtually any song instantly. iDJ Pro will empower you with access to the cloud, allowing you to download tracks and have them pumping in seconds.

£329.99 www.maplin.co.uk

Fixie Bike Pizza Cutter Looking just like a shrunken version of its real-life counterpart, this beautiful single-speed slicer uses both of its wheels to carve through your pizza. It effortlessly navigates through poorly parked pepperoni, around deep puddles of chilli oil and straight through red lights peppers. So saddle up and embark on your own “Tour d’Italy” across an edible landscape of delicious warm pizza.

£14.99 www.firebox.com

Thunderbirds Anniversary Range Thunderbirds are most definitely “Go” with this range of classic gifts to celebrate 50 years of the cult cartoon in 2015. This fun and exciting range is aimed at adult fans and the collection includes an alarm clock, travel and wash bags, cufflinks and wallets.

From £19.99 www.amazon.co.uk

KitSound BoomBar 2 We’re excited by this upgraded version of KitSound’s already impressive BoomBar. This portable wireless speaker also features a passive bass radiator and has up to ten hours of music play time, but is twice as powerful. We reckon the BoomBar 2 – with its carry case, built-in rechargeable batteries and wireless connectivity – does the boombox justice, and then some.

The Wallet Ninja 18-in-1 Multi-Tool Trained in a myriad of ancient arts (such as bottleopening), the Wallet Ninja 18-in-1 Multi-Tool is here to help you tackle life’s everyday battles. The wellchosen tools included are hex wrenches, a can opener/fruit peeler, bottle opener, ruler, letter opener, box opener, phone stand and a screw driver. A sleek and agile master of stealth. You’ll hardly know it’s there lurking silently in the shadows of your wallet, waiting to emerge when you need it most.

£8.99 www.firebox.com

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LIFESTYLE

PETER HORNE

60 Second Life Coach

Failing Your Way to Success never failed once, it just happened to be a 2000 step process.” Our perception of situations will influence our feelings and ultimately influence the next steps we take. If a failure is viewed as personal defeat, generating negative thoughts about our abilities or identity, inevitably the biochemical response of our feelings will also be affected. Edison teaches us that the word “feedback” is a better word to describe unwanted outcomes rather than the word “failure”. He simply learnt many ways how not to achieve his goal, but he didn’t allow this repeated learning to discourage him. Instead he was spurred on to try new ways.

“THE KEY IS NOT WHETHER WE HAVE SUCCEEDED OR FAILED, BUT RATHER OUR RESPONSE TO A FAILURE.”

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Peter Horne is a qualiﬁed life coach with a passion for helping people change things in their lives when they feel stuck. He works with individuals and organisations, and can be contacted at enquiries@therealyou.eu. Peter is married with four children and attends St Peter’s Church in Brighton.

Getty Images

ike millions of other English football fans, I experienced that all‐too familiar sinking feeling when Luis Suarez put two goals into the back of the England net and sent our National team crashing out of the 2014 World Cup. Some criticism inevitably followed but I was pleased to see the Daily Telegraph headline on 23rd June that stated: “England manager Roy Hodgson sees a brighter future following elimination from 2014 World Cup finals.” Failure is often seen as a dirty word, associated with negative experiences and bitter disappointments. Nobody wants to hear a driving examiner utter that word or wants to open an envelope of exam results that crush expectations and dreams. Yet should failure be viewed so negatively? Curious though it may seem, failure is often an integral part of succeeding. Contrary to popular perception, it can be an alternative route to success. The key is not whether we have succeeded or failed, but rather our response to a failure. Thomas Edison, who held a world record of 1,093 patents, is said to have commented: “I

When three time Olympic champion, Steve Redgrave, was diagnosed with diabetes in the run‐up to the Sydney games, he initially thought it was game over until he reframed his situation and adjusted to taking a different route to attain his goal. Steve says: “I decided from a very early age that diabetes had to live with me, not me live with it, and that’s the way I’ve really focused it.” In Michael Johnson’s excellent book “Gold Rush” he writes that mistakes are part of competing. “When one happens during the race, you

must move on and quickly determine whether there is an adjustment to be made or if you continue with the same plan… Anything can and does happen at the Olympics. It’s how you deal with the challenges and setbacks that makes the difference.” Johnson quotes Sebastian Coe: “Winning is predicated on a pretty healthy, robust diet of defeat. You’ve got to learn how to deal with that, and smart people know how to build out of it and what they need to do to address those issues.” In other words it’s all about how you frame these events. If you view them as learning experiences, they will benefit you and provide a springboard from which to improve. So next time unwanted circumstances threaten to derail your plans, remember to keep a healthy perspective and remind yourself that a dream is not just a desirable outcome, but also a journey with occasional bumps along the way. n

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CHANNING TATUM

A NEW GEAR Award winning actor, Channing Tatum, talks to Sorted about the joys of fatherhood. BY VERONICA PARKER/FAMOUS

true southern gentleman, Channing Tatum brings his good‐natured charm to almost every role he plays. Although White House Down and The Eagle established his action hero credentials, female audiences swooned over his romantic side in ﬁlms such as Dear John and The Vow. Now, after spending most of last year looking after his newborn baby daughter Everly, the Hollywood star is back with 22 Jump Street, an action comedy that re‐ teams him with Jonah Hill as a pair of oddball undercover cops. It’s the kind of light‐hearted fare that suits the amiable Tatum’s personality best, especially now that he’s a proud father. “There’s no better feeling on earth than looking into the smiling face of your baby,” Tatum says. “I don’t think any man truly understands what love really is until you have your ﬁrst child and feel that warmth and pure joy. I want to be the best father I can be and also be the kind of dad who’s a friend and a good listener when she needs me.”

“THERE’S NO BETTER FEELING ON EARTH THAN LOOKING INTO THE SMILING FACE OF YOUR BABY.” Shot in New Orleans, the city that Tatum calls his “second home” and where the actor opened his own bar “Sinners and Saints” on Bourbon Street, 22 Jump Street is the sequel to the surprisingly successful 21 Jump Street that earned over $200 million in 2012. This time around, Tatum (Jenko) and Hill (Schmidt) get to go undercover

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at a university in order to break up a fraternity drug ring operating on campus. There’s plenty of serious action and stunts galore in the sequel, but that’s merely a diversion from the marvellous odd couple camaraderie between the two lead actors. Said Hill, twice‐nominated for a supporting actor Oscar: “I’ve never met a nicer guy than Channing Tatum and it was a great way to spend three months in New Orleans basically eating great food and laughing our way through the ﬁlm.”

“FATHERHOOD IS LIKE HAVING A WHOLE OTHER GEAR IN YOUR CAR THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD.” Tatum grew up in Alabama and as a teenager his family pushed him to excel at sports to combat his attention‐ deficit‐disorder that made him a restless and indifferent student in high school. He became a top football player and attended university in West Virginia and afterward in Florida on a full athletic scholarship. He later took up martial arts and is an expert in a variety of styles including Kung‐Fu and Krav Maga. Before he became an actor he worked as a model for Armani and Abercrombie & Fitch. The 34‐year‐old, who goes by Chan, talks openly about fatherhood, family and his voracious albeit mild‐mannered sense of ambition. Tatum married 33‐year‐old actress Jenna Dewan (The Mindy Project) in 2009, whom he met on the set of the dance movie Step Up, in 2006. Their daughter, Everly, was born in London last May. In addition to 22 Jump Street, Tatum starred in the Wachowskis’ new sci‐fi epic, Jupiter Ascending, co‐starring Mila Kunis and Sean Bean, which was released in July. f

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CHANNING TATUM JMVM/FAMOUS

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FAMOUS

CHANNING TATUM

Has there been any surprises for you as a proud papa? It’s been overwhelming in the best way. Fatherhood is like having a whole other gear in your car that you didn’t know you had. You don’t sleep as much, you’re always having to watch that the baby doesn’t grab something dangerous and you just love holding her in your arms. It’s the most beautiful thing on earth.

You’re obviously taking an active role in the baby parenting duties alongside your wife Jenna? I love it. I’m taking some time oﬀ now to be a set dad while Jenna is working on her series so we can stay together as a family. I don’t like being away from either of them for more than a few hours or so! (Laughs)

Does fatherhood change you in any way? You have a deeper appreciation for your responsibilities as a husband and family man. You’re more aware than ever that you’re building something for the future. I also have a strong desire to do everything in my power to give my family the best possible life I can help provide. I’ve always been very driven in my career and I still am – but now everything revolves around the happiness of my wife and daughter. I won’t do ﬁlms back‐to‐back, I won’t work on a project if it means spending a long time away from them. That’s how much they mean to me.

You were working a lot last year in the months leading up to the birth of your daughter, weren’t you? I was shooting Jupiter Ascending when my wife had the baby and I don’t ever suggest doing four movies and having a kid. It was not such a good idea. But I will say we have handled it. My wife is a super woman. I don’t know how she did it. She went to work six weeks after she had the baby. And if anyone could have done it, I think we did it in the best way that you can do that stuﬀ.

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Is your daughter starting to walk now? Oh she’s walking and falling down a lot. I’m having to chase her and watch her as she’s learning to run almost before learning to walk. They like to point themselves in one direction and just take off even though they’re not really that solid on their feet. It’s more fun now, now that she’s getting older. She calls me “da‐da”, she likes to play with my face and my hands, so it’s getting really cool. Basically the first year in a baby’s life the daddy is just an assistant to the mother. We’re just there to change the diapers from time to time and then hand the baby back to the mother, kind of like a pit crew at NASCAR changes the tires and then the car takes off.

Do you like being able to share the parental duties more now? I’m able to look after (my daughter) more and that gives Jenna a break. I can tell you that if you think it’s exhausting to be a father, it’s a lot more exhausting to be a mother. I’ll take my job anytime!

“I’VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY DRIVEN IN MY CAREER AND I STILL AM – BUT NOW EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND THE HAPPINESS OF MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER.” Your new film 22 Jump Street has this very easygoing humour to it even though there is plenty of action going on. I love to laugh and I love watching these kinds of movies. Life can be hard enough for most people and I grew up learning to appreciate how hard it can be to earn a living. I deeply appreciate of all the success I’ve

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CHANNING TATUM had and I like being able to make movies that are going to entertain audiences and make them laugh.

Did you and Jonah Hill pick up your friendship where you left off before? It was great getting to hang out together again and being able to clown around and all that. It’s about the most fun you can have being on a ﬁlm set for three months not to mention the fact that we were shooting in New Orleans where I own a bar and I know the city real well. My dad’s from down here and the family came over to visit and so it was a very close atmosphere although none of my family wanted to see me, they all just wanted to see the baby. I had to get used to being ignored a lot! (Laughs)

Did you and Jonah get to improvise a lot on the set? Oh, yeah. Jonah is one of the writers on the ﬁlm so if he’s going to improvise it’s kind of a blessing for you to just go ahead and do the same. But it’s hard for me to keep up with him. His mind works so fast and he has so much energy and incredible comic instincts that I’m playing catch‐up all the time. You also learn a lot from working with someone who has that kind of comic gift and it just rubs oﬀ on you.

You do a lot of your own stunts on this film, don’t you?

Is it flattering to be seen as one of the sexiest men in Hollywood? You’re only as sexy as the media wants to build you up into that if your ﬁlms are doing well. But if they tank, then suddenly you’re no longer sexy. So I just dismiss all of that talk. I know that that kind of image can help you get attention and recognition as an actor, but you better have some talent to back it up or you won’t be making the kinds of movies you want to be part of. I love the fact that people underestimated me because I was seen in a certain way. I love being able to prove myself and exceed all those expectations and win over people and gain some respect. That’s what it’s all about. I want to work hard, develop good projects like Magic Mike and be very creative. I’m not a fast reader. It takes me longer than most people to read a script. But once I’ve learnt something, I’ll know it inside and out and I’ll build on that. And I’ll work harder than anyone to be successful and make my family proud. n

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FAMOUS

I pride myself on being able to do a lot of the stunt work even though they don’t want to let me do some things.

Ever since I was a kid I liked doing physical stuﬀ – jumping, diving… but we have great stunt coordinators and they keep it safe and pretty much make it easy for us. My instincts are to want to take more risks than I probably should and those guys are there to tell you to “hold on, now. Don’t push it”. Also if you get hurt doing something you shouldn’t the producers won’t be very happy with you! I hurt my ass real bad on White House Down. Got a massive bruise on my butt cheek! And I hurt myself a lot on The Eagle so I’m trying to rely on professional advice a little more these days.

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FRESHERS’ WEEK

“DON’T PANIC ABOUT FRIENDS, EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME BOAT AND WANTS TO BE LIKED, SO FINDING FRIENDS WON’T BE A PROBLEM.” For me Freshers’ Week was great fun for six days, until my appendix ruptured and I was rushed to hospital and spent three weeks off university. Not quite the best start. And before you ask, the injury was not caused by excessive alcohol intake, more a very thrilling game of beach volleyball. So as long as you remain relatively healthy you’ve already got one up on me. I am currently studying History at the University of Exeter and found Freshers exciting but also challenging. I therefore wanted to provide some advice, which I feel I would have benefitted from before I embarked on my university adventures. Money. Freshers’ Week is expensive; there is no denying that. However it doesn’t have to result in you eating Tesco value soup for the rest of the term. My advice on money would be to budget and withdraw cash from the bank, don’t use your credit cards and don’t take them on nights out. Also, I would recommend not buying advanced clubbing tickets as you often get there and all your friends are going to different clubs, this way you can make sure you all hang out together. A way of saving money is on societies – definitely join clubs but be realistic in terms of time. You won’t be able to play BUCS (university league) for more than one sport so don’t spend £400 joining rowing and squash as you will find your squash racket collecting dust in the corner of your room. Also in terms of money, before you go to university sit down with a parent and work out how much you can spend per week, based on grants, loans etc. If you don’t budget from the start, it is really easy to have an incredible first few weeks of university, to then find you’re praying that the next loan installment comes in early. Budget weekly, leave at least £200 to spend on joining societies and the week itself and this will help you avoid going into your overdraft in week two.

How to Survive Freshers’ Week Here are some helpful tips to serve you through the start of your university adventure! BY LUKE TAYLOR

o you have just finished two years of gruelling A levels and have survived the long wait for results and now, finally, you know which university will be your home. First of all, you deserve congratulating, well done, you’ve survived the stress, spots and mood swings which envelope school life. But before independence hits you through the form of a pile of dirty washing, here are a few tips to survive freshers! Now firstly, what is freshers? Freshers’ week is normally the first week of university where students won’t have any contact hours and therefore spend their days getting to know the place and students. If you ask people about their experiences of Freshers’ Week the response can vary with some describing it as the ‘”best week of their life”, others depict a painful “I can’t remember much of it” and finally some will describe it as “a nightmare”. So how do you make sure Freshers’ week is a fond memory and not a permanent headache?

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FRESHERS’ WEEK

Get involved. Now, university is an amazing

opportunity to try new things, reinvent yourself and explore. So many of these things begin in Freshers’ Week as it is filled with taster sessions for all sorts of clubs and societies. From the football club to Pun, Humans vs Zombie or Pokemon society, there is so much to do at university and the best way to get involved is at the start. But definitely try before you buy. Go to the society tasters before you pay for them, as you want to make sure your money is not being wasted. I personally joined the University of Exeter surf club and have had a great year of surfing and am heading off to France with them this summer. So make sure you make the most of the opportunities offered and try something new. Sex and relationships. My main advice for this is make sure you go into university knowing your boundaries and your view towards sex. Freshers’ week is often associated with lots of sleeping around, however it’s often exaggerated. My main tip is know how far is too far, what sex means to you and be strong in maintaining your values. Also if you do find yourself getting close to a flat mate during the week I would try and run the other way. Flat relationships can work however they’re often very intense due to the nature of university and therefore it wouldn’t be the first place I would look for a potential relationship. Friends. When going to university it is difficult to not be nervous, which can affect the first impression you give off. But don’t worry if you feel you don’t like your flat mates on your first few meetings, most people take a while to settle at university and aren’t quite themselves when they first start. Making friends may take time; so make sure you give yourself lots of opportunities to do so. Finally, don’t panic about friends, everyone is in the same boat and wants to be liked, so finding friends won’t be a problem. Alcohol. Personally I would advise taking the first night of Freshers relatively easy, as you’re in a completely new place, with people that don’t know you. By all means have a few drinks but I wouldn’t push the boundaries on the first night, as not remembering that the police escorted you home provides a great story, but also quite a bad reputation. Also remember freshers’ week lasts all week so there’s no rush to have a night that you won’t forget. In addition to

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Finding a Church By Rosie Kersys Finding a church at university can seem like a daunting challenge. It’s important to get stuck into a church community as soon as possible. Shockingly 73% of Christian students don’t connect to a church when at university. Don’t let that be you. Keep growing with God, becoming everything you can be in Him. Here are some top tips for finding a church at university. Sign up to Student Linkup. Student Linkup connects students to churches all across the UK, with churches in every university town, there’s something for everyone! Student Linkup has just released a brand new app to make it as easy as possible to sign up. All you need is your name, your university and the year you are starting. Student workers from the churches in your area will personally message you and introduce themselves. It will also connect you to Christian students that are going to the same university. Best of all, its free! Shortlist a few churches before you leave for university. Do your research, Google is your friend! Check out the different churches in your area before you leave the comforts of your sofa at home. Grab a coffee with Christian friends that are also going to university and discuss what you are looking for in a church, what you can offer to bless a church and what God could do through you at university.

Rosie works for Fusion, developing Student Linkup across the UK, connecting students to churches and preparing young people for university. She loves seeing students ﬂourishing in their faith at university.

this, peer pressure drinking is quite big during Freshers. Don’t allow this to result in you being peer pressured into mass drinking to try and gain friends. You will make friends whether you can drink heavily or not so don’t feel like you need to prove yourself to anyone. How to avoid Freshers’ Flu. A week of clubbing, drinking and lack of sleep can lead to you catching a very common but nasty flu, called Freshers’ Flu. The best ways to avoid this is to make sure you drink a lot of water and take a vitamin C tablet daily at university. A box of tablets is very cheap and prevents you missing half the lectures through trying not to cough every few minutes. Finally, another practical tip is to make sure you bring a door stop as it means you can keep your door open, making your university room far more welcoming to your new flat mates. I hope these tips will serve you well, enjoy the first week of university and don’t worry, you’ll fit right in! For more good advice on starting university well get in touch with rosie@fusion.uk.com or check out studentlinkup.org. n

Luke Taylor is currently studying History at the University of Exeter. He is a keen debater and loves all things sport and music.

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TEARFUND

As Anti‐Slavery Day fast approaches Sorted caught up with one half of The Fabulous Baker Brothers, Tom Herbert, to hear about Tearfund’s new campaign.

“IN THE MODERN DAY PEOPLE THINK SLAVERY IS FINISHED OR JUST SOMETHING YOU SEE IN HOLLYWOOD FILMS, BUT IT IS NOT.”

BY STACEY HAILES

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Ralph Hodgson/Tearfund

his spring Christian relief and development agency, Tearfund, launched their new campaign “No Child Taken”. Their aim is to protect 50,000 children worldwide who are defenceless against trafficking, disease and disaster. Every 30 seconds somewhere in the world a child is trafficked. This means more than a million children are taken every year. Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry and without intervention or prevention this devastating figure will only continue to rise. Tearfund’s hope is to bring that statistic down. Earlier this year TV chef, Tom Herbert, travelled with the charity to Laos to visit some of the most vulnerable children at risk of trafficking. With his 12‐year‐old son Milo in tow, Tom visited families living in extreme poverty, who are often left with no choice but to cross the border into Thailand to earn enough money to feed their families. Unfortunately though, most children don’t come back. Instead they end up being sold and trafficked to work in brothels or become trapped in menial labour without means of escape.

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Cally Myddelton/Tearfund

TEARFUND training, teaching the children practical skills and providing them with kits to enable those at risk to start small businesses so they are not tempted by the lies of traﬃckers.

A Glimpse of Hope TV chef, Tom Herbert, shares: “I like the idea that it is quite like lighting a fire or needing a magnifier or yeast. Basically you just need a tiny amount and if it is good and the Holy Spirit gets involved, this stuff could have momentum and it needs to because it is a massive problem. Whether you need a multiplier or expediential of growth, it’s about having the right recipe to set people up to think differently and I suppose you can just define it as the difference of having hope and not having hope.” Tom got involved with Tearfund at a talk he was giving. When they told him about their new project and how big the issue really was, the chef was keen to get on board. “I have my own kids, I love kids and I hate the idea that children are taken and trafficked,” explains Tom. “If there is anything that can be done to stop it I want to get involved. “In the modern day people think slavery is finished or just something you see in Hollywood films, but it is not. It is happening on a massive scale, one child every 30 seconds is taken into trafficking, disaster and disease.”

Prevention

Tom was overwhelmed by the poverty he saw in Laos. Families would have to hunt frogs for dinner and make soup with them. Children would ﬁnish school at 11 and then have no means of a future. It is so easy for them to be tempted, especially if they think the grass looks greener over the mountain. It is a really strong pull. Tom told us the story of one family that really struck him while he was there. “The thing that is sort of disarming initially is that it is warm and people are smiling and friendly, but when we met this family and sat down with them and heard their story, it was devastating,” Tom explains. “This family had already lost their mum and eldest daughter to Thailand, so things had got so bad, imagine how bad it needs to be that the best thing you can do for your family is for the mum and 15 year old, the oldest daughter, to go to Thailand and bring back money. Then there is no word, no money, nothing comes back. So now things are worse and the next best thing that can happen is their dad, who’s very sick with a lung disease, has to leave his young family and travel – about a days travel, he can’t just come backwards and forwards, it is a long way – to work on construction in the nearest city and leave his 11 year old daughter with two younger kids of seven and eight. And when he is away, because he goes away for months at a time, they are left to fend for themselves and they have to dig in the mud for frogs and then just boil them in water. f

Ralph Hodgson/Tearfund Cally Myddelton/Tearfund

The No Child Taken campaign is largely about prevention. Tearfund spokesman Jamie Fyleman says: “If you see and you hear the stories about children working in brothels it is really vile. For us, we are absolutely committed to rescuing and rehabilitating children but we think the very best thing we can do is stop children being trafficked in the first place. “It is helping people start up businesses and warning parents and children about the risk of trafficking, which is a massive thing because actually if you’re a parent and you are told your child who’s hungry has got a great opportunity across the border they’ll go ‘great, you go with them’. So if we can say look, this is the reality, then that makes a major difference. If you then give the family economic ability to stand on their own two feet, then that makes a massive difference. It takes years to rehabilitate and actually the scars always remain, but if we can prevent these thing from taking place in the first place then that has got to be the best way of doing it. “I met an amazing lady who was trafficked in India when she was five years old. She went and ended up working in the brothel at the age of nine; it was just a horrible, horrible journey. She’s doing amazingly well now, but it has taken three years with us working closely with her. It cost us about £7,000 to do that, but it costs us about £36 to work with a child to stop them being trafficked in the first place. So with the cost it takes for rescue and rehabilitation, you can support about 200 children a year from going through it in the first place. That is quite an amazing difference.” Tearfund are hoping to raise one million pounds for this cause. The charity works with local churches and local Christians around the world. At the moment they are working with local Christians in Laos to aid this campaign. Jamie explains: “We do that because we know that is the most sustainable development that we can get, it costs us such a small amount because all we actually have to do is get alongside them and get them going. And if you can do that, if you can point them in the right direction and support them during the course of the journey, then it is a highly effective development because we don’t need to be pouring in money long term.” The money people give goes directly to their children’s risk fund and that goes towards protecting the most vulnerable children that the charity has met. This includes helping the team provide trafficking awareness

“THE THING THAT IS SORT OF DISARMING INITIALLY IS THAT IT IS WARM AND PEOPLE ARE SMILING AND FRIENDLY.”

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TEARFUND “They started oﬀ having a little competition to see who could sit furthest away from me, but as I got them involved, there was kind of a real breakthrough. We just kind of looked at what was available and used a water bottle and lid for weighing up the ingredients, so you didn’t need scales, just a bowl and ﬁre and you can make this and sell it on the side of the road. At the end, I had just over a dozen girls and they all stuck their hand up and said ‘yes we want to do it’. That was just hugely rewarding! It was so received and there’s a chance that that could be fruitful and it could generally help their youngsters work their way out of poverty. “It was amazing going with Milo. It was brilliant. We got to have some proper daddy son time and we saw not only the poverty, but also the amazing work Tearfund and their partners are doing. I’ve never had such an impression of what a light in a dark place looks like and how the work Tearfund is doing brings hope to people who have nothing and how valuable hope can be. It just makes me feel like our lives are quite kind of soft. We may have our troubles and stresses but when you see it like this it sharpens your attention and focus.” n Find out more about Tearfund and the No Child Taken campaign by going to www.tearfund.org/keephersafe, and download their church resources.

UK Version of the Sticky Sticks Recipe

“THERE IS EVEN RISK OF BEING ATTACKED WHEN YOU GO TO THE LOO AT NIGHT!” “They are too poor to even afford rice. And then the older daughter came back and dropped off a baby and disappeared again. So she has now got a baby niece and two younger siblings. With an 11 year old looking after them there is risk of being attacked. There is no sanitation; there is even risk of being attacked when you go to the loo at night! Their woes mount up and we met this girl and family three years down the road, so the dad now can’t work so he is now living at home and he weeps for his wife and daughter who they’ve lost and the father can’t afford to put rent on the table. This girl didn’t smile the whole time we were there. She has been traumatised. She’s vulnerable from being trafficked because if they are offered work, they already know she probably won’t come back if this happens but they are in this horrible situation where they can’t move forwards. “But, Tearfund’s partners have drawn alongside them and it felt like the village had identified this family as being particularly vulnerable and the partners there, they know them and they visit them, they are helping to put the kids through school and we are hoping through the workshops that we are doing they can start to build a life for themselves. I’ve never had such a powerful impression of what hope means when there is so little. It was a real privilege to hear their story and spend time with them. It was so desperately sad, but with hope.” While Tom was in Laos he delivered a baking workshop. That is one of a range of skills that Tearfund’s partners offer along with motor repair, hairdressing and other businesses that have low start up costs. Tom explains: “I didn’t know what kit they had or what food they eat. I went over there thinking maybe we will do pizzas, but it turns out they don’t have pizza and they don’t have cheese. So I faced a couple of food problems. Nonetheless we got to the local market, it’s an all‐French colony, so they make baguettes still in the French tradition so I managed to hunt down some flower and we ended up the other side with a recipe called Sticky Sticks. You can make them by hand with very little kit.

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Ingredients 400g water 130g self raising flour 130g plain flour Pinch of salt 20g granulated sugar Vegetable oil (for deep-frying) Zest of 1 orange Plenty of castor sugar (for rolling) 2 tbsp oil For the chocolate and stout dunking sauce 100g dark chocolate 2 tsp sugar 50ml double cream 50ml stout (or milk) Small knob butter Pinch of salt 1

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Method In a pan, bring the water and oil to the boil. Mix the flours, salt and 20g sugar in a bowl, then slowly pour in the hot water mixture. Using a fork quickly mix the water in. You should have a stiff sticky dough, but don’t overwork it. Heat the vegetable oil to 170°C in a fryer or heavy-based saucepan. Quickly with light hands roll the dough into longish sticks. Place a few at a time into the fryer. They should take about 3-5 minutes to cook until they are golden and crispy on the outside and fluffy in the middle. Lift out of the oil, drain on kitchen paper. In a tray mix the orange zest with a good amount of caster sugar, then toss with the hot doughnuts to coat. For the sauce, place the ingredients in a small pan and heat gently. Stir until the butter and chocolate has melted and the sauce is smooth and glossy. Don’t heat too much as the chocolate and cream will split. If you don’t fancy stout then milk is an acceptable alternative. While the sauce is still warm dip the sticky sticks and devour. Cook’s tip: CAUTION – Resist the temptation to eat the sticky sticks right away as they will burn your mouth. Wait at least 30 seconds after they’ve been cooked and rolled in the sugar.

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GARY BARLOW

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GARY BARLOW

BARLOW Is Back For God Gary Barlow is no stranger to life’s ups and downs, but his new‐found faith helps him navigate rough waters, as Kate Whiting discovers.

hen Gary Barlow released Since I Saw You Last in November, his ﬁrst solo album in 14 years, it was clear he’d been doing some soul‐searching. In August 2012, he and his wife Dawn revealed their fourth child, a daughter named Poppy, had been stillborn. Just days later, Barlow stoically sang the Take That anthem Rule The World at the Olympics closing ceremony, winning praise for showing such strength of character.

“IT SEEMS LIKE QUITE AN OLD-FASHIONED THING BUT NOW I’VE STARTED TO CONSIDER WHAT GOES ON OUT THERE.” But the album gives a glimpse of the emotional turmoil Barlow has been through. The song Dying Inside contains the sombre lyrics, “I’m breathing but I can’t feel life/ I’m smiling but I’m dying inside”. “It comes with a government health warning,” says Barlow of the song. “But most people have, at some point, got to pick themselves up – you’ve got to turn up for work and get on with it.” Perhaps his ability to do that comes down to his faith. One of the new songs is called God and in it he sings: “If you found God, would you take him home? Would you

open the curtains or keep them closed… Could anyone really be that cruel? To keep the king of heaven and earth right next to you.” The 43‐year‐old, who is dad to Daniel, Emily and Daisy, has admitted these days he thinks about religion “loads”. “It seems like quite an old‐fashioned thing but now I’ve started to consider what goes on out there. You do as you get older. When big things happen in your life and you lose people you love, you do consider it, definitely.” And for a man who, in Take That’s first flush of success, sang “All I do each night is pray”, it comes as no surprise that prayer is important to him. “I do pray, I pray a lot… usually on take‐off because I’m scared of flying. I put my hands together and say, ‘Please God, keep us safe’. “I don’t know if there is a God but I do say prayers and I say prayers for people. There are no answers on this record but there are considerations and questions.” There were certainly a lot of questions directed at him in May, when Barlow faced calls to hand back his OBE, over reports he and two other members of Take That had been avoiding paying millions of pounds in tax. His friend, Prime Minister David Cameron, said this wouldn’t be “necessary”, as the honour was given partly to recognise his charity work, and Barlow was ordered by the High Court to pay the money back. But this was only the latest in more than a decade of ups and downs for the singer‐songwriter. In the 15 years since Barlow released his previous solo album, Twelve Months, Eleven Days, his life has been transformed – he’s gone to the depths of depression and is now, tax payments permitting, back on top. f

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GARY BARLOW

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GARY BARLOW

“I PROMISED MYSELF THIS TIME AROUND THAT I WASN’T GOING TO LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE.” His first post Take That album Open Road capitalised on his reputation as the “real talent” in the band, selling almost three million copies and spawning two No 1 singles. But with the follow‐up, things spectacularly ground to a halt. It peaked at No 35 and fell out of the Top 100 a week later. “I was in a rotten place back then,” Barlow admits. “It was written by committee, that album, with [producer] Clive Davis in the US telling me who I should be and who I should work with, then the UK label telling me something different over here and there’s actually very little of me on there.” He was unceremoniously dropped by his label and made an outcast by former friends and colleagues. He slipped into depression and his weight ballooned to 17 stone. “I promised myself this time around that I wasn’t going to listen to anyone else, or be swayed,” he adds. “The first time the label heard the [new] album was when I’d finished it.” The one person who didn’t abandon him in his wilderness years was mentor Sir Elton John. They duet together on Barlow’s song Face To Face, which he admits is about “mutual respect”. “I can count on the fingers of one hand the people who kept in touch with me when nobody else wanted to know me and he was one of them. I’ll never forget that.” He continues: “We’ve known each other about 20 years, I’m in contact with him a lot.”

They see each other about four times a year, and most of their communication involves exchanging music recommendations, but when Barlow had a song he thought they could sing together and sent it over, within ten minutes he’d had an answer. “He was on the phone, said it was a smash and wanted to record it as soon as possible,” says Barlow. “Three weeks later, we were in the studio playing the piano part together, recording the vocals in the same room. It’s an old‐fashioned duet in that sense, two people in the room together, and it was brilliant. “He’s my idol, Elton, he’s the reason I sat at the piano in the first place, so to be in a studio with him as an equal was incredible.” Seeing a slimmed‐down, healthy Barlow on The X Factor, mentoring and dishing out advice to young hopefuls, it’s hard to remember a time when he wasn’t at the top of his game. But as recently as 2005, the year the documentary Take That: For The Record aired, prompting the group’s reunion almost a decade after they’d split, he was a faded force. It seems ludicrous now, but when he, Howard Donald, Jason Orange and Mark Owen announced they were getting back together, there were sneers all round. The idea that the foursome could pick up where they left off, without Robbie Williams, who’d left the group prematurely, seemed impossible. One listen to Patience, their 2006 comeback single, and the sneers stopped. Songs Barlow had penned, after all, had been among the biggest hits of the Nineties, breaking chart records left, right and centre. The Take That story has played out like a mini soap opera. The foursome struggled on briefly after Williams left in 1995, before calling it quits. There was no love lost between Barlow and Williams, f

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GARY BARLOW who became one of the country’s biggest‐selling solo artists, but they buried the hatchet in 2010, when Williams rejoined the group for the band’s sixth album Progress, which became the second fastest selling album in British history. Their duet Shame told of overcoming their “artistic differences” and putting their egos behind them. Barlow recalls the day when he and Williams sat down and made up: “A lot of people don’t get that chance; they spend their whole lives as enemies and don’t talk. So for me, that was a victorious day. And we came back to it a couple of days later and did some more, and then we were washed and clean.” The title track from Since I Saw You Last is, says Barlow, one of the most literal things he’s ever written, summing up how far he, Williams, Orange, Howard and Owen have come. “It’s a celebration, saying that even though all that stuff happened, it led us back here, to this great place we’re at now.” So what’s different now? Barlow puts it down to self‐ confidence, and being happy in his own skin. Take That fans would readily admit he looks better now than when the band was first famous, when Gary was generally considered to be the chunky one who couldn’t dance. His weight loss (he’s shed five stone) is, in part, thanks to cutting out unhealthy snacks. “For years, I did every diet going and I couldn’t work out why I couldn’t sustain the weight loss. I’ve just not

got the sort of body where I can pick and choose what I eat. I’ve got to go for one thing and stick by it,” he explains. “I don’t eat sugar, I don’t eat fried foods and I stay away from McDonald’s and chips. It’s really boring but it works for me and the result is I feel good.” Barlow is also concentrating on his overall wellbeing: body, mind and soul. “I take exercise more seriously now. I do maybe four or five runs a week. I do high heart‐rate stuff and try to be active in a day. I’ll walk Daisy to school in the mornings.” “I eat well,” he continues; outlining his daily diet of eggs for breakfast, chicken salad for lunch and soup for dinner. “I do an acupuncture session a week and I try to sleep well.” There is one thing that’s keeping him up at night though – he still worries he’ll never write another good track. “I’m so lucky to find these melodies,” he says. “I never feel like I was put on this earth to write songs. Never. I just work really hard, but I always get this feeling that I’ve lost the ability and the luck has run out.”

“I CAN COUNT ON THE FINGERS OF ONE HAND THE PEOPLE WHO KEPT IN TOUCH WITH ME WHEN NOBODY ELSE WANTED TO KNOW ME.” Acceptance seems to have played a part in Barlow’s renaissance, too – he admitted in his autobiography, Gary Barlow: My Take, that he once saw the other members of Take That as his backing act, but now realises that he wouldn’t be where he is without them and cherishes it. “I took Take That for granted, we all did, and now it’s come back to us, we realise how precious it is,” he says. “I include Rob in that, it’s his band too. The band is for us all to take care of for the next 20 years, or whatever. We can leave it and do other things and come back to it, but it’s my number one priority. “I see the solo album as a lovely little hobby for a year, but the main job is always going to be Take That.” They’re currently recording their new record, due to be released in time for Christmas, which is their seventh studio album and first since Progress. But it’s still unsure whether Williams will appear on it. In April, he announced on Twitter that his wife Ayda is pregnant with their second child, which could put paid to plans to tour with Take That. “It all needs organising,” says Barlow. “We’ve all got families and there are lots of things that need moving around to make it happen. “I’m really, really looking forward to getting back with the guys though,” he adds. “It’s our first [record] in four years, and that’s daunting and exciting.” In the meantime, Barlow’s had his hands full with his own solo tour, although on a slightly smaller scale than Take That’s – with no giant elephants or unicycles to hide behind. It was the string of live shows he played in 2012 that prompted Since I Saw You Last in the first place. “We extended that tour three or four times, because we were having so much fun,” he recalls. “After getting home, I thought there might be a record in me, put my head in that space for a few weeks and wrote three or four songs. It felt new and fresh, so I called the label, told them what I wanted to do and got to work.” After Twelve Months, Eleven Days flopped, Barlow’s wellspring of ideas for songs dried up, but with a successful solo album now under his belt, another Take That album on the way and perhaps a few prayers, he’s feeling truly inspired: “It’s going to be one hell of a year.” n

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IZAK

WWW.THISLIFEISYOURS.CO 56

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ISAK PETERSEN

This Life is Yours Stood by the train tracks about to ﬁnish it all, something happened to Isak Petersen that changed his life forever. BY LUCY MOLD

e had an exclusive opportunity to speak to Isak about his experience. Working in fashion in Copenhagen, he was lonely and suicidal. Now he wants to use a video to share his story of hope with the world. “The story is about a broken man without any direction in life, just wanting to give up,” Isak explains. Inspired by the amazing turnaround in Isak’s life, the yesHEis team decided to take him back to where it all happened at a train station in Copenhagen, to create a video that would inspire others. But the process wasn’t an easy one for Isak. “I will tell you a little bit of how intense it was… it was the first time I was back since I’d stood there wanting to jump, it was the first time I was back in that train station, it was the first time I saw everything in the eye and I was freaking out… it hit me like a ton of bricks.”

“I WAS SO STUBBORN, SO FULL OF PRIDE I WOULD MUCH RATHER TAKE MY OWN LIFE THAN LET PEOPLE IN…” The authenticity of his experience is what gives This Life Is Yours a real edge. There is no acting here; we see a real man, reliving a real experience of loneliness, nothingness and hopelessness. But the video goes on to show the huge transformation in Isak’s life that he attributes to God. “People used to talk to me about God and I used to laugh thinking what an idiot, why would you believe something as stupid as that?” f

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ISAK PETERSEN In his interview with us, Isak was keen to direct a few words to anyone considering suicide for themselves, although this was not an easy concept for him at the time. “I was so stubborn, so full of pride I would much rather take my own life than let people in…

“JUST TRY GOD OUT.” “If you are thinking about or want to commit suicide, this is the last resort, the last option, surely then you can try God. You don’t just suddenly wake up one day and think today I am going to commit suicide. It’s a road to go down,” he sighs. “So just try God out.” He continues: “The thing is I have had everything that I wanted in my life, I tried it all. I had everything and I didn’t have anything. Now I’ve got nothing and I’ve got everything. Like I have tried every single thing I ever thought I would want to do and that didn’t do it for me. “I would say no matter what, there is always hope because with a little bit of hope you can look back up again then you can walk a little bit further… wherever you are there is always, always hope.” You can ﬁnd out more in depth about that hope that Isak has at www.thislifeisyours.co, where the video is held.

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Isak’s life has changed completely since the incident. Now living back in England, he is an active member of Life Church in Bradford and his relationships with his family have been restored. Isak explains: “Because I didn’t live the same life as them, I kind of cut the cord a little bit. So for seven years all we did was argue.” Having now lived back at home for two years, Isak’s “crazily tight‐knit family” (his words) talk about everything. But while Isak has picked up new relationships, he hasn’t lost touch with his old friends. “I was thinking about it yesterday, I was out with all my old mates from back then, out at a concert and I got so many good conversations, and everybody was just like wow, I can see it in your eyes something has changed. Like I have no idea what that means but that is really cool.” Whoever you are, whether you relate to Isak’s story or not, This Life Is Yours is a video that will dramatically change your outlook on life. It still impacts Isak now. “Even myself when I watch it I get hope for the rest of my life. “I just hope that it will bring hope to somebody.” If you would like to ﬁnd out more about Isak and see his story in full, go to www.thislifeisyours.co. n If you have any questions about Isak, his story, and faith, contact our team at contact_en@show2.me.

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PAUL MUNGO

PAUL MUNGO LIFE BEHIND THE CAMERA British adventure cameraman Paul Mungo discusses living life on the edge, working with Bear Grylls and his new book Mungo Living the Dream. BY PATIENCE TAKYUKA

ungo has got the dream job that would leave many grown men weak at the knees and salivating on the ﬂoor just to get a chance to spend a day in his shoes. It’s a career that requires no responsibilities, no cares, except going from one mad adventure to the next. The extreme locations, the amazing stories and the celebrity friends are all just part of the package. But through sheer hard work and belief in the well‐known Walt Disney saying, “if you can dream you can do it”, Mungo has come much further than he ever dreamt. “I was a real donkey at school, I was good at art and I was good at sports and that was it, I really didn’t know what my life was going to amount to. At school I was very non‐academic, I didn’t learn by reading books, I learnt by pressing buttons like a monkey really,” he explains. For a while Mungo worked as a youth worker in his early twenties. He was lost and bumbling around not really knowing what to do with his life, until he met highly respected documentary cameraman Simon Niblett. One week later, Simon had taken Mungo under his wing as a camera assistant – a position that would last two years. “So I knew that was my golden opportunity,” Mungo admits. Although I kind of never set out to be a camera man it turned out that it suited me, and it suited me down to a tee.” 60

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“IT’S JUST THE UNPREDICTABILITY WHICH IS SCARY BUT THEN AGAIN THAT’S ALSO THE ATTRACTION. IT’S A BIT OF A RUSH.”

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PAUL MUNGO Adventures, extreme travelling, and celebrities, it all sounds like the perfect job but not always the safest one. In a career like Mungo’s going to dangerous places is the norm. “When I did undercover ﬁlming in the International Arms Fair in Greece that was really nerve‐ racking and I was young at the time and carefree and I didn’t really understand the situation. We were later told that had we been caught, we would have been jailed for spying on Greece so the stakes were pretty high but I had no real idea what I had let myself in for.” Talking about another time Mungo explains: “I must have been in the middle of Africa and we got blocked on the road by these guys with machetes and it’s just the unpredictability which is scary but then again that’s also the attraction. It’s a bit of a rush.”

“YOU CAN SHOOT WHAT’S GOING ON AND THEN YOU CAN SHOW THAT TO MULTIMILLIONS OF PEOPLE.” This was the perfect start to an incredible 20 year long career as an adventure cameraman. “In the last 20 years I have been to over 80 countries and filmed everything under the sun. I have been to every environment known to man, literally from arctic to jungle, to mountains to sea. But if I had to pinpoint one thing I am really enjoying right now, it is what I am currently doing. Which is a Bear Grylls series, working with Bear is fantastic we are kindred spirits in so many ways. I have worked with Bear for over ten years now, on and off and at this stage in my career, it is great because it is like big boys with big toys. We do a lot of helicopter work and lots of climbing and it’s really hard work but it is also really rewarding shoots. “I have also worked a lot recently with Freddie Flintoff and we have become great friends, we’ve been on lots of amazing adventures together. When I first met him he couldn’t even put up a tent, couldn’t light a fire, he just didn’t have a clue because he came from this mollycoddled world of a professional sportsman, where you are very well looked after and kind of wrapped in cotton wool. So he’s become a great friend of mine, Freddie and obviously Bear, Charley Boorman who I worked with a fair bit as well. The celebrities are great and obviously they are the ones that stand out but it is also the unknown people who are great. The people who are the hard workers behind the scenes, the camera assistants or the sound recordists, the directors, the researchers and runners.” Mungo also considers himself to be an adrenaline junkie, a man who continuously lives his life on the edge. So how does an extreme adrenaline junkie agree to do reality television? “I think that if I did one thing the whole time I would get bored very quickly. I have got the attention span of a mat but because the work is so varied it keeps it very fresh and keeps me interested,” Paul explains. “20 years in and I have worked for all the major broadcasters and pretty much all the channels to some degree. I can turn on the TV and a lot of the people I see I have worked with or met at some point. That’s not special, that’s just my job because it is our industry. But again it is the variety that appeals to me. So literally two weeks ago I was in the Catskill Mountains with Zac Effron. Last week I was with Ben Stiller up a mountain in the Isle of Skye and then next week I am doing X Factor in Manchester with Simon, Cheryl, Mel B and Louie and then I am off again after that a week later to Utah and then I am off again with Bear. “My speciality is adventure television and even though I do the X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, The Apprentice and stuff like that, they are kind of more bread and butter work for me. The adventure camera work is what I am really skilled at.”

It is obvious that the extreme adventures and shoots are what really drive Mungo and it is through these experiences on his journeys that he has gained perspective and learnt some of life’s biggest lessons. “I was filming for the BBC in central India and I was in a place called Hyderabad, it’s a massive city and there was an American charity which had converted a jet airliner into the state of the art flying hospital and they would fly this plane into developing world countries. Their staff would be top A&E nurses, surgeons and doctors who would give their time for free. Anyway I was covering this story for the BBC and I sat down during lunch when we stopped and had a break, and I was chatting to one of the surgeons. He specialised in doing cleft palates and squints on the eyes. He was very cool, he was an American guy and he was very much like George Clooney in the ER and I was chatting away to him and I said it must be so amazing having a gift where you can change somebody’s life. You will go in there, do something and in half hour you can radically change somebody’s life and he said to me, ‘Yes it is but you have got to realise Mungo that your camera is more powerful than a gun’. “’If you go into a situation like a solider, and you could go in there with a gun and you could shoot the baddies but you might only stop one or two people from actually doing what they are doing which was bad and detrimental. But with your camera you can shoot what’s going on and then you can show that to multi‐millions of people through the medium of TV. That can wake f

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PAUL MUNGO

up a sleeping giant within the public. That can affect politicians, policies and that can change whole situations, whole communities and whole countries’. “I have never forgotten that, and that hit me like a brick in between the eyes and I just thought that’s amazing and you know he is absolutely right. I think that in all the things we do it’s very easy to have a narrow vision and just think that’s all I can do, that’s all the effect I can have. But the reality is, in the long term if you look at what you can do and what your skills are, you can use that to change people’s lives and you can change nations and policies at the back of it. With my book Mungo the Cameraman, that was about the first ten years of my career. I am still getting emails from all over the world, from the most random places and most random people saying I have just read your book and it has affected me in some way. That’s the beauty of harnessing the little that you think you may have, which can actually be a huge influence on other people. Also it’s about the people who live next door to you, being the best you can be to influence the people around you great or small, near or far away. That’s a responsibility that we all have.” The second book, Mungo Living the Dream is due for release before Christmas this year and documents the next ten years of Mungo’s career as a cameraman. “I am far more proud of this one just because it is more recent and has more fun stories, it includes a lot of stuff with Bear, Will Ferrell, Freddie, Kate Humble on BBC expeditions and also with Charley Boorman going around the world with him. The new book is more based around characters that I work with and certain expeditions that I have been on. Whereas the other one was just more of an overview, I think both of them are an interesting read and it’s probably better to read them in chronological order because it makes a lot more sense. But the second one is a lot more exciting.” But living the “dream” has come at a high cost for 43‐ year‐old Mungo, who has definitely forfeited and sacrificed his own personal life for his career. Mungo explains: “I remember years ago I was doing a wildlife shoot for the National Geographic and I was scaled up a mountain at 15,000 feet in Ethiopia filming Gelada baboons and I just thought this is it. To shoot wildlife for the National Geographic was something I always held, as a benchmark to where I wanted to get to and that was about ten years ago. I sat on a rock up there on this mountain and I thought I have done it and at the time I thought where do I take it from now. But the reality is, I’ve kind of been there and done it, with ambition for my career. I now think my ambition is to settle down and have kids, that’s what I would love. Whether it will happen or not I have no idea so in the meantime I think I will just keep throwing myself outside of helicopters.” n Patience Namata Takyuka is a features writer currently residing in South West London. She is a recent journalism graduate who likes reading, art, laughing and eclectic music. You can follow her on Twitter – @patiencetakyuka

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BUSINESS

CHARLES HUMPHREYS

We’re in Business Basically, any interviewer wants to establish three key things: Have you got the skills, expertise and experience to perform the job? You need to demonstrate you have the awareness of what is needed in the role. Make sure you know how you fit the essential list of skills laid out in the job description. Once you’ve prepared you will be able to give some killer answers to these sorts of questions:

Q What are your greatest strengths / weaknesses?

Q What can you do for us that other candidates can’t?

Q Why do you think you are right for this job? Q What do you think the main challenges of the job will be?

Are you enthusiastic and interested in the job and the company?

It’s Time to Sell your Stuﬀ!

“H

ow many young, single women work here?” Incredibly this question was heard not over a pint at your local but during a job interview! It’s easy to have a bad‐job interview day – the traffic was bad and you turn up late, your handshake is sweatier than a sumo wrestler’s jockstrap and to beat it all you can’t string a single sentence together. However, if you prepare properly you stand a good chance of selling yourself effectively during a job interview. If you don’t, no‐one else is going to do it for you! They reckon it takes on average only 60 seconds to make the first impression and selectors often make up their minds about a candidate’s personality within just the first four minutes of an interview. So if you want to avoid some of the following genuine job interview statements and come up trumps at

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your next job interview, it is essential to know the small print attached to an interview.

What not to say! Q Do you have any questions? A ”What’s your company’s policy on Monday absences?” Q Why are you leaving your current job? A “Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building.” Q What are your weaknesses? A ”I get angry easily and I went to jail for GBH, but I won’t get mad at you.”

You want to demonstrate that you have thoroughly researched the company, understand its strategy, current performance, structure, market position and products and that you can’t wait to join them. Make sure you’re able to answer some of the following: Q What do you know about our company? Q What do you think our company is aiming to achieve? Q What do you know about our products and services? Q Why do you want to work for this company? Q What motivates you?

Will you fit into the team, culture and company? This final key question is about your personality, your style and how you as a person would fit into the team and culture of the company. By mapping company culture to your own traits, you can use it to answer questions such as:

Q How would you describe yourself? Q How would your colleagues describe you? Q What makes you think you would fit into our

Charles is an experienced careers coach and founder of Christian‐based careers coaching service Want2get on? (www.want2geton.co.uk), which oﬀers one‐on‐one careers counselling, workshops and seminars. He wrote The Christian Guide to Jobs and Careers (www.hope4acareer.com), is a busy dad of three young boys and husband to an overworked doctor. He also leads the men’s ministry at Oasis Church in Colliers Wood.

company?

Q What makes you a good team member? Good luck with your preparation and make sure you don’t come out with: “The only work I’ve done the last two years is interviews. I’m very good at it.”

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BUSINESS

MATT BIRD

Relationology

The Generosity Economy

s I walked into the office I was a little nervous. I was meeting someone I had looked up to for years and had never had any one to one time with before. After a little small talk I felt much more relaxed and comfortable and so the conversation progressed. Then out of the blue they asked: “What can I do for you? What can you do for me? What can we do together?” I squirmed inside and as much as I tried to control myself I’m sure it showed on my face. The rest of the meeting was a blur and I was delighted to leave.

“IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU “GET” IT’S ABOUT WHAT YOU “GIVE”.” There is something I find uncomfortable about the approach taken. It’s formulaic and engineered. The “ask” suddenly changed the nature of the meeting from rapport building into something highly transactional. This is one of the reasons why I am not a fan of “networking”, which can feel mechanistic and self‐serving.

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much energy into giving as into getting. There is nothing wrong with these approaches; a number of my good friends use them, it’s just that I dislike these methods… strongly! I find each of the three approaches manipulative because fundamentally they are all about trying to “get” from other people. By contrast Relationology is based on a generosity economy, it’s not about what you “get” it’s about what you “give”: When you see someone who it appears cannot help you or whom you are unlikely to see again, be generous to them. When you go to an event where you are going to meet lots of new people don’t try and sell to them. Go with the objective of forming one or two meaningful connections with people who you can generously help. When you invest your time in meeting one to one with somebody, don’t waste your time or theirs by sending them away empty handed. Find a way to be generous to them. Adopt the generosity economy today and stop asking yourself “what’s in this for me?” Instead ask – “How can I help this person?” The reality is that every time we are generous in our human encounters, whether with a stranger, a prospective client or neighbour, we “grow” a relationship and every relationship has the power to change and transform us for the better. The generosity economy works on the currency of “give to grow” not “give to get”. n Networking is all about getting and answering the question: “How can you help me?” Business networking uses the mantra “give to get” based on the law of reciprocity that if we give to people they will reciprocate and give back. Strategic networking advocates the approach “give to get”, that recommends putting twice as

Matt Bird helps individuals, teams and organisations build the relationships they need to achieve greater success. He is an international keynote speaker and business relationship consultant. He is a popular blogger and author of the new book ‘Relationology: 101 Secrets to grow your business through the power of relationships’ www.relationology.co.uk @relationology

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BUSINESS

MARTIN CARTER

Bolder & Boulder

replied, “carving stone”. The second replied, “building a cathedral”. Gaudi is long dead, but in the committed actions of an anonymous builder and hundreds like him, his cathedral is taking shape one meticulously carved brick at a time with as much care and attention as if Gaudi was still supervising them. As I stood there watching, I thought of all the CEOs and senior leaders that I’ve worked with and realised that here was the Holy Grail they were all searching for: the corporate vision that engaged and energised their people, inspiring them to work with dedication and commitment, deploying all of their skills and talents to the success of the organisation’s goals… even when their boss wasn’t watching them!

“INSPIRATIONAL LEADERS LEAD WITH THEIR HEARTS, HARNESSING THEIR PASSION, PURPOSE AND CREATIVITY.”

What’s Your Grand Design?

e are just back from Barcelona where, in between tapas bars and beaches, we took in a few sights. The highlight was La Sagrada Familia, the Holy Family Basilica, which they started building in 1882, but it still isn’t finished. On current estimates the builders should be sweeping the last bits of debris behind the final piece of skirting board sometime in 2026. If they nail it then that’ll be a 144‐year build. It’s like the longest ever episode of Grand Designs. And like an episode of Grand Designs, regardless of what you think about the project (and La Sagrada Familia is nothing if not

Why do so many of these leaders fail where Gaudi seems to be succeeding? Most business leaders lead with their heads, suppressing passion, purpose and creativity in order to deliver measured results. Inspirational leaders lead with their hearts, harnessing their passion, purpose and creativity to bring about a future that they really care about. They describe this future in a way that engages and liberates those around them, inviting them to bring along their own passion and creativity and giving them a deeper sense of purpose. Inspirational leaders help others to connect their daily tasks to something bigger and deeper. Inspirational leadership starts with yourself. You first need to understand what drives you, what it is you are striving to build and why it matters. Not every leader is called to build cathedrals, but every leader needs a Grand Design. n Martin is an experienced leadership coach, consultant and facilitator. He helps individuals, groups and organisations to make a bigger diﬀerence in the world by equipping them to be bolder in their actions and conversations as well as helping them shift the boulders that sometimes get in the way. Martin lives in the West Midlands with his wife and three children. You can contact him at martin@martincarterassociates.com. @MartinPCarter

controversial), you can’t help but admire the vision, dedication and passion of Antoni Gaudi, the visionary and creative force behind it. Arguably the greatest modernist architect, Gaudi died almost a century ago, but as I watched a builder carefully shaping and re‐ shaping a palm‐sized piece of stone, to fit in an arch, 200 feet in the air, on a section of roof which, when it’s completed, no‐one will ever see, I realised his vision lives on. The care and precision with which the builder worked was testimony to the great pride he had both in his work and the project overall. It reminded me of the story of Sir Christopher Wren who, during the construction of St Paul’s Cathedral, was touring the site and stopped to ask two of the builders what they were doing. The first Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

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BUSINESS

MARTIN THOMAS

Collective Action Objects in the Mirror are Closer Than They Appear

re you long or short‐sighted? For me the time has come, all too soon, to visit the opticians as my minor short‐ sightedness has gotten worse over the last couple of years. Many of us at some point in our lives will need extra support – to read small print up close or to sharpen the image in the cinema. And if you’ve ever put on a pair of glasses with the wrong prescription (like when I tried my son’s very short‐sighted specs) you’ll know the

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disorientation this brings – with a blurred vision that can remain for some time even after you’ve taken the glasses off. It’s hard to try and see far away and close up at the same time. Having worked in the voluntary sector for over twenty years I’ve often recognised a subtle competition between those whose vision stretches to the furthermost corners of the earth to those who work passionately through a lens marked “local”. Over the last decade the “global camp” has benefited from the Millennium Development Goals (MDG), increasingly known as the “most successful global anti‐poverty push in history”. This shared vision has helped too: n halve extreme poverty n get more girls in school n ensure fewer children are dying n continue to fight killer diseases such as malaria and AIDS As an MDG Momentum campaign gathers pace alongside an ambitious post‐2015 development agenda, many in the “local camp” are asking for similar attention and funding from politicians, the media and business to address issues such as: n continued family fragmentation n urgent need for fostering and adoption n increased debt and child poverty n prevention of abuse, trafficking and exploitation Whilst extreme poverty might be far away, if we were to open our eyes wide, we would see significant vulnerability on our own doorsteps – a reality much closer to home than many of us ever realised or thought possible. Viva’s global vision is to see children safe, well and fulfilling their God‐given potential. In the last year we have lived in the

shadow of the Bullfinch trafficking case affecting vulnerable young girls only a few streets around the corner from our Oxford office. We have felt compelled to ask what aspects of our global experience of collaborative action could be appropriately shared within the UK, without duplicating excellent work already taking place. Our response has been twofold: To start where we are, mapping the situation of children and vulnerable families across Oxfordshire and discovering the current response of the local church. To run a Viva Doorsteps Conference in Oxford on 27 September (in partnership with other organisations) to present the research to church leaders, safeguarding officers, leaders of local organisations and children’s, youth and family workers. Nelson Mandela said: “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” Perhaps it’s sometimes easier to respond to needs that are far away rather than engage with the complexity of our own local situations. Why? Partly because they challenge us to face problems that many are not even prepared to admit exist – yet. But that’s just like me putting off going to the optician even if I only have a peripheral sense of the problem. It only leads to continued short‐sightedness and the potential to miss the situations much closer to home that so desperately need our response. Time to book that appointment… n * To find out more about Viva’s Doorsteps initiative go to: viva.org/doorsteps. Martin Thomas heads up Viva’s mobilisation offices in the UK, North America and Hong Kong (www.viva.org/invest). He is a writer (www.makingsense.me.uk), a trustee of The Bless Network, and a novice barista. He and his family live in Witney, Oxfordshire.

Viva – together for children Unit 8, The Gallery, 54 Marston Street, Oxford, OX4 1LF, UK Registered Charity No. 1053389 Registered in England No. 3162776

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ADVICE

SMART TALK

With Dr Richard Scott, Jojo Meadows and Richard Taylor OUR EXPERTS

Sponsored by Christian Single Mix

Richard Scott has worked as a surgeon, GP and evangelist in England, India and parts of Africa. His wife Heather is also a doctor and the couple have three daughters. Sport is a passion for Richard, interspersed more recently with writing, which developed during treatment for bowel cancer.

Jojo Meadows is passionate about spreading God’s word in an original way. She trained as a counsellor and helped to run a crisis centre in Solihull before being headhunted by Connexions to develop courses for senior schools. Jojo has been through many life-changing experiences including anorexia, teenage pregnancy, rape and cervical cancer. This motivated her to help others who are struggling through difficult circumstances.

Get it Sorted! I’m a 34-year-old farmer who lives with my parents. My father is less able with farming activities, therefore I’m the only one to help him around the farm, my mum is there on hand but isn’t as capable with farmyard machinery. The problem is, I’ve now become my mum’s world. I have tried to have several dates and have brought a few girls home, but my mother exaggerates and fabricates stories to keep potentials at bay – what should I do?

JM The first point of call is talking

Founding pastor of Victory Church in Cwmbran, Richard Taylor is a church leader and author. For many years, Richard has been impacting lives with his down-to-earth humour, passion and genuine love for God and people. Along with his wife Jill and their four sons, Richard founded the church in January 2010 and it has since grown into a vibrant congregation.

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to your mum! Ask her why she is sabotaging potential dates. Explain to her that your loyalties and focus is on the farm and that you only want to find love for you and your self‐ esteem. You need to ask your mum to trust your instincts and choice in women. You should probably date for a few weeks away from the farm and your mother – building up a healthy and solid fountain – then you can both convince your mum that your new partner will enhance you and your work. Presuming that money is tight, ruling out your own space within the farm, it’s clear that you need to play away from home at present. Take her out on dates and

when your mum twigs that the game has changed and that she’s been excluded, you can then gently explain why. We’re looking for a win‐ win here – your social life to

progress, without detracting from the good relationship you have with your mum. This should be achievable, but you will still need your own place one day!

I do not know where to turn. I am becoming everything I hate. I’m a Christian and attend a church, have good friends, good family and a popular reputation. Recently I had a relationship that I royally messed up. I lashed out in anger, hitting her and marking her – now I fear that as I have crossed that line it will be easier to do it again. We have split up, but I want her back. How can I prevent this happening again? Before even considering asking her back, you need to seek counsel. Lashing out in temper is not acceptable and once that line has been crossed, it is easier to cross that line again. If you are serious about wanting her back then you must show her that you are doing everything in your power to address your temper issues. Speak to your GP who can refer

you to a counsellor and maybe, in time, you can take your ex‐partner and work through the issues that she will be working through too. There you can both bring together the issues and have an impartial professional to guide you individually and together.

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ADVICE

I have found a very weird lump on the tip of my penis and think it may be a genital wart. I have Google imaged it and it appears to be the same. I do not want to go to the doctors – will it go away by itself? Will it be recorded on my doctor’s notes? I am so embarrassed as I am a virgin and don’t understand where it has come from. Man up! Go to your doc and get it sorted. Many diagnoses are possible, including warts, as they aren’t exclusively transmitted through intercourse, thus can occur in a virgin. In my practice, we record the consultation, but if specialist help from the local STD clinic is needed, a referral is made. At that point we hear (and thus record) no more. Your diagnosis is thereby confidential; whilst you get the treatment you need – the only way to put your mind at rest.

There is another way, if you find the local GUM clinic in your area, then you can go and

All of us have an Achilles heel. The world (including church) may be kept in the dark for a while, but it will eventually manifest. No doubt your temper and its consequences will have gone viral by now, but in the midst of disaster is some good news. Admitting your guilt

see a professional who deals with these kind of issues all the time. The records will only be held there and will therefore not be put on your doctor’s notes. If you do not feel comfortable going to the GUM clinic, then it is important you go to the doctors to get it looked at as if it is a wart it can grow or multiply. Also if not treated before getting sexually active it can cause cervical cancer in a woman – so it is imperative you get it seen.

CONTACT US: Got a problem and need an answer? Email: jo@sorted-magazine.com or write to: Smart Talk, Sorted Magazine, PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 6WX @Jojo_angel21

and seeking to prevent its recurrence is a start, but true repentance for a Christian involves seeking God on your knees. He, not anger management, is the true source of calm and peace amidst the storms of life. Restored, your next relationship has a better chance of succeeding. Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

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ADVICE

JONATHAN SHERWIN

Big Questions

Out with the Old, in with the New?

ew is cool. At least, this is what the advertisers would have us believe. If you don’t have the latest thing then you’re not “with the times”. And do you know what? So often the advertisers are right. My current phone is a better version of my old phone. It has a longer battery life and a crisper display. In a few months I’m sure I will be told about the latest development and how it’s faster or bigger or slimmer etc. and how much I need it. The march of technological progress soldiers on. This progress requires change. The change ought to be an improvement on the old, but at the very least it needs to be different from the old. It needs to be distinct. If what is new isn’t different then it becomes hard to sell. If Volkswagen were to believe that their Golf has finally “arrived”, that it couldn’t possibly be any better, that it should look and perform this way forever, it would in a few years time look dated and most likely be out‐performed by its rivals. In a world obsessed with things and the production and selling of them, an environment of constant change must be manufactured to keep the supply chains rolling. Now, change is good, but only whenever it

actually is good. I like that my latest car is more reliable than the car it replaced and that the fuel economy is better. I like my new running shoes because they fit well and make running almost a joy again. All change that is good is only good if it is, in fact, an improvement upon what it is replacing. But from a marketing perspective change doesn’t need to be good. It only needs to exist. If we can be told that we need something new, simply because it is new, then we can be persuaded to buy it independent of an analysis of what it actually is and whether it really is any good.

“CHANGE IS GOOD AND LIFE IS BETTER WHEN WE ARE PLAYING WITH THE LATEST THING.” What is sold to us today is most definitely a way of life, being offered through the product being advertised. Adverts don’t just sell to us on the merits of the product; they seek to convince us that we will be better people because we have and use these products. In this world we live in we are told that change is good and life is better when we are playing with the latest thing.

In the current climate, it has therefore become all too easy to assume that things that are old are of lesser value than things that are new. Your first TV will most likely not be as good as your current one. What you used to think about has changed too, say politics, or your goals in life, or where your ultimate holiday should be. Those old ideas have been replaced by newer, improved, and updated versions. The naivety of our youth is superseded by the wisdom gained throughout life. Except that not all things that are new are good, are they? Ancient Roman buildings in England have outlived modern buildings, hundreds and hundreds of years younger. I’m sure that in the 1970s, a period I blissfully have no memories of, the taste of the day in interior design was a real high point! Those greens, harvest golds, and burnt oranges etc. Fashions come and fashions go. So too the ideas, philosophies, and religions of our culture, they ebb and flow. They may be in fashion one moment and out the next. But we would be foolish to dismiss the great ideas of our past, of our heritage, simply because we prefer the new. The great author C. S. Lewis was brought to task by his friend Owen Barfield when, as a younger man, he dismissed Barfield’s viewpoint simply because it was old. Lewis came to realise that he was engaging in “chronological snobbery”. When contemplating an old fashion or idea Lewis wrote that: “You must find why it went out of date. Was it ever refuted (and if so by whom, where, and how conclusively) or did it merely die away as fashions do? If the latter, this tells us nothing about its truth or falsehood.” Perhaps in our nation today faith in the Christian God, although once popular, is now no longer fashionable. We would do well to heed Lewis’ advice and not dismiss it because of its age or association with previous generations. It must be investigated and examined on its own merits. Next time you’re at your Dad’s house, look at his photos – the ones in the older albums. Do you see how silly those trousers look? But be warned, the next laugh you’ll hear will be in 30 years when the future generation simply cannot fathom what we were thinking when we donned skinny jeans. What seems right in our day will seem old in the future. Change cannot alone be the measurement for truth. We might cringe when we look back on our old fashion choices, but how much more will it hurt when we realise we dismissed God only because he was “so last century”. n Jonathan lives in Oxford where he runs Latimers, a place for people to challenge and investigate the Christian faith. He graduated from the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics and now works as an itinerant evangelist which involves co‐leading CVM’s Demolition Squad. Join the conversation online at www.jonathansherwin.net.

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OPINION

JON COBB

Money

Make Wise Decisions

ack in 1999, some of us remember the terrible atrocities that happened in the Balkans. I can vividly remember the shock that this was happening on my continent. In Kosovo, the ethnic cleansing of Albanians by Serbian forces was giving a sour taste to my garibaldi biscuit and hot chocolate as I watched News at Ten each night. All hail Tony Blair who instigated the intervention by NATO and now has hero status in Kosovo. I saw today that 15 years later there is a crop of young boys of around this age called “Toni Bler” after the ex UK Prime minister! It didn’t quite catch on in the UK did it? I wonder how many 15 year old Tonys we know, or seven year old Gordons? Or 30‐year‐old Margarets for that matter! I love the wacky side of the Internet and through it I have discovered a group who follow the Kabalarian philosophy and believe your name determines your personality. Specifically their website states: “When language is used to attach a name to someone this creates the basis of mind, from which all thoughts and experiences flow. By representing the conscious forces combined in your name as a mathematical formula, one’s specific mental characteristics, strengths and weaknesses can be measured.

WireImage

“IF YOUR NAME IS JAGGER, ROTHSCHILD, GATES OR WINDSOR YOU’LL SURELY HAVE FEW FINANCIAL WORRIES.” “For example, this is why people with the name of Barbara or Glenn are reflective, thoughtful, secretive and serious. Diana or Sarah is a diplomatic, passive, idealistic and sensitive person. Betty or Jim is an ambitious, restless, promotional and analytical person.” Perhaps we should have had a suspicion about the disgraced hedge fund manager Bernie Madoff who constructed the largest Ponzi scheme in history and who is now serving 150 years in prison. I mean ultimately he “madoff” with other people’s money! It’s true that if your name is Jagger, Rothschild, Gates or Windsor you’ll surely have few financial worries, but if you’re just plain Smith, Jones or a Cobb like me, we need to make sure that we are making wise

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decisions with our money. Here are a few financial rules to live by: Spend less than you earn and do this for a long time. We can only do this if we set a budget and live within our means. Have long term written goals. How much do you need to achieve whatever you want? (Retirement, a new car, holiday, private school for little Gordon…). Try and save something each month and let the miracle of compound growth work for you. Avoid the use of debt. That same compound growth is working against you. Admittedly sometimes it’s acceptable, particularly where the

debt is securitised against an asset such as a house when applying for a mortgage, but debt should be taken seriously and when budgeting, make sure there’s a margin built in for if the mortgage rate goes up. (Because it will). Finally, can I recommend that you include some giving in your expenditure? I used to have a Pastor who had a broad Yorkshire accent and he would quote the scripture “God loves a cheerful giver” and I’d concur with that, but I think there’s a reason why the big man approves of giving and that’s because it takes the focus away from us and onto others. I believe that there is something inherent in us that makes us care about our fellow man. The trouble is that in this world of media and advertising, we have come to a point where we focus just on ourselves, our rights, our pleasure, our achievements and have desensitised ourselves to the needs of others. Let’s change that! There’s a school that needs to be built in Haiti, a shelter in London that needs volunteers and a homeless man in your town that needs feeding tonight. The good news is that the money to meet these needs is already available; the bad news is that it’s still in your pocket! n Jon Cobb runs ﬁnancial advisory business Trinity Wealth Management. He is a keen runner, ex‐white‐collar boxer, passionate Portsmouth supporter, speaker and writer. Check out Jon’s blog: cobbiescollectivecontemplations.blogspot.co.uk. @CobbyJon

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OPINION

RICHARD HARDY

Family

Everything becomes wearing because it is all so negative. It took me years to realise that children have an insatiable appetite for attention. They need to be in the centre of it. It’s the reason why they always play up when you are on the phone, watching TV or in an adult conversation. To a child attention is as essential as breathing, pooing and eating! Not necessarily in that order. It is a question of survival. The truth is they don’t really care if it is positive or negative and they quickly learn that negative attention is easier to get. It took real eﬀort to learn to reward positive behaviour with lavish attention and to ignore the negative behaviour. I remember in a moment of real desperation asking the Health Visitor, whilst holding onto her lapels, what we should do. She said whenever the screaming started move away or place her in another room where she was safe and could be seen – then ignore her. The moment she stopped even for an instant we were to move into the room, praise her for her silence, and lavish attention on her. She also said whenever you catch her doing anything good or almost good then go into overdrive with praise, rewards and attention. I now realise that the Health Visitor was unwinding the downward spiral; giving us a way out and making the situation seem hopeful not hopeless. And do you know it worked! It took time, we failed loads, but it worked.

The end is nigh!

Stay Positive

ecently I was speaking with a friend. She felt like the worst parent in the world. Their seven year old was “out of control”. Whenever he didn’t get his own way he “screamed, punched and trashed their bedroom”. They had tried everything, even taken him to the doctor who had referred them on to specialists – the conclusion to all this investigation? “He is within the normal behavioural parameters expected of a seven year old.” The inference was you’re just a neurotic parent.

“THE NOISE WAS EARPIERCING AND COULD BE HEARD A QUARTER OF A MILE AWAY.” As I listened to her pour her heart out I wanted to help but what could I say that would make it any easier and wouldn’t sound like platitudes? Have you tried time out; grounding; depriving them of their favourite toy/game or just giving in! It reminded me of a period in my daughter’s life when she was around the same age. She decided to scream whenever she didn’t get her

own way. The noise was ear‐piercing and could be heard a quarter of a mile away. I know, I checked! It was a little like nails on a chalkboard. Whatever it takes you need it to stop! As I thought about my friend’s predicament three things came to mind…

We are what we eat!

Finally, we found that when you are right in the middle of the crisis and you think it will never end, it does. As someone once said the answer to everything is – this too will pass! Just so long as you hang in there. And I have to say it was so worth hanging in there. My daughter is 22 now. She survived. We survived. Not only that she has found a use for that scream that could shatter ear drums if not wine glasses; she sings – opera! n Richard Hardy is a Baptist minister and director of the Entheos Trust, which encourages leaders and enables churches to engage with their communities. Richard has spoken on community engagement, marriage and parenting at many national conferences. He has also written extensively on community and family issues (www.theentheostrust.org).

In our desperation to discover what was affecting our daughter we found that she was intolerant to certain foods, particularly those high in refined sugars. Like most things in parenting we learnt this the hard way. My wife was out shopping with my daughter on one occasion and bought her a well‐known brown fizzy drink. Within 20 minutes she was spread‐eagled on the floor of a department store screaming at the top of her voice! We also realised that there were natural food colourings that didn’t help either. It took a long time to identify these and eliminate them from her diet. It wasn’t the whole answer but it helped!

The Downward Spiral It’s easy to get stuck in a downward spiral where you are forever picking up on poor behaviour. Two words become common in your conversation – “No” and “Don’t”. Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

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OPINION

SAM GIBB

Good or Bad?

he anti‐Suarez bandwagon was in full ﬂow this summer as everyone jumped on and laid into the infamous Uruguayan, who decided the World Cup was getting boring, and he fancied a bite of Italian. His lack of remorse and claims that the nibble was a combination of a loss of balance and far too large teeth didn’t help his cause. Suarez quickly became the villain of the summer. Yet, to the Uruguayan people, he was welcomed home as a hero. To them he is the local boy come good, a family man who married his childhood sweetheart and who loves his kids more than his football. So is he good or is he bad? When it comes to King Luis everyone wants to have a say. Yet we don’t just do this with Suarez. Like old school PE lessons we like to divide all people into good or bad. On the left you have Hitler, Idi Amin and Jack the Ripper, throw in a few murderers, liars and bankers. On the right you have Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Mandela, those who care about social justice and a few clean‐cut boys in nice‐suits who walk old ladies across the road. We just sit and hope we 76

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Faith

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end up on the right side. But here is the great thing: God doesn’t do this. The Bible never categorises people in this way. It never says religious people are good and atheists are bad, or that Christians are good and those who aren’t Christians are bad. The Bible says: “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” We’re all bad, every one of us, from Suarez to Ghandi. From day one we rejected God, living our way and sticking two fingers up at him. Just like Suarez we try to shoulder the blame (the last one I promise!), but we deserve punishment. But back to Suarez. He has been punished, banned from all footballing activity; sitting at home hoping Sepp Blatter doesn’t catch him playing FIFA. People have argued whether the punishment fits the crime – some say it is too harsh, others too lenient. Yet when it comes to our punishment we can’t claim that we have been treated harshly. We have rejected God, so He will reject us. But it doesn’t end there. Just rewind for a second and let me take you back to Suarez’ FIFA court hearing. Imagine that as his punishment’s read out the victim of his crime, Chiellini, steps forward. “I’ll take the

punishment. I’ll be banned from football, take the public humiliation, the dreadful puns and the twitter backlash.”

“WE’RE ALL BAD, EVERY ONE OF US, FROM SUAREZ TO GHANDI.” Here’s the thing – what actually happens to us is even more amazing. The person we have hurt and rejected, God himself, comes down to earth and is nailed to a cross instead of us. He takes the punishment we deserve for hurting and rejecting him. Now, if that is not something for us to get our teeth into I’m not sure what is. n Sam Gibb is a twenty‐something currently living in London and working at All Souls, Langham Place. His passion is to present the message and teachings of Jesus to men in a way that makes sense to them. He has written a series of Bible studies aimed at lads on topics such as comedy, war and sport. Sam’s heroes are the apostle Paul, Alan Shearer and Garﬁeld, though not necessarily in that order. You can follow him on Twitter at @samggibb. @samggibb

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OPINION

LYNDON BOWRING

Politics

Ending it All?

he Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is the most common place in America for people to commit suicide. Since it was built nearly 2000 people have jumped to their deaths and last year tragically saw a record number of suicides taking place from it. $76 million has now wonderfully been set aside to erect a 20 foot‐ wide steel netting under the walkways to

prevent people from hurling themselves into the waters below. They are doing everything possible to save people’s lives. Nearer home at Beachy Head in Sussex, a spot where 20 people end their lives each year, the Beachy Head Chaplaincy patrol the cliﬀs to befriend and persuade suicidal people to change their minds. This amazing Christian charity is actually in need of ﬁnancial support – so please do support them if you can. (www.bhct.org.uk)

In the UK over 6,000 people take their lives every year and I think it’s true to say that most people believe everything possible should be done to discourage people from committing suicide. And yet Lord Falconer’s Assisted Dying Bill, currently going through Parliament, would allow doctors to help terminally ill people with just six months left to live to die prematurely. Over the years there have been a number of attempts to legalise euthanasia in the UK. Lord Joffe brought his Assisted Dying for the Terminally Ill Bill to the Lords in 2003 and 2005 but it was soundly defeated both times. In Scotland the late Margot MacDonald brought a similar bill, now being carried forward by Patrick Harvie MSP. Thankfully medical bodies like the British Medical Association oppose this legislation and recently affirmed once again their strong stance against assisted dying. The BMA claims that the current legal framework is sufficient to allow for compassionate and ethical care for dying patients. It also supports the development of high quality palliative care services to enable patients to die with dignity. They claim that if individuals were given a legal right to end their lives with physician assistance, even if limited, could alter the patient‐doctor relationship radically.

“SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER. SUPPORT AND LOVING CARE, TO THE END OF THEIR DAYS, IS.” As you see these bills come before our Parliaments and Assemblies please contact your MP or other elected representative and ask them to oppose these efforts to provide state‐sponsored suicide. You can visit www.care.org.uk/liveandletlive for details about how to do this. If someone is in such despair that they are considering killing themselves, surely we should be giving them hope and encouragement, not the means to end it all. And that’s true whether they are weak and ill in a hospital bed or ready to jump off a bridge or cliff. Suicide is not the answer. Support and loving care, to the end of their days, is. n Lyndon Bowring was born in Wales and studied at London Bible College. He is an associate minister at Kensington Temple, and has been executive chairman of CARE for more than 25 years. His hobbies include watching rugby, exploring London’s restaurants and developing friendships. He lives in London with his wife Celia, and they have three children.

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OPINION

LEE AND BAZ

Cut to the Chase

Glad to be Alive time and smashed into the back of us causing us both a lot of pain to our necks, shoulder and my back due to the whiplash. Even though all three cars were a write‐off it was good that no‐ one was seriously injured or killed. It is quite sobering when the paramedic informs you that you may need to be cut out of the car and that you are lucky to be alive due to the impact of the other two vehicles. Having to be driven to the hospital in an ambulance, and being checked out for any serious damage, makes you realise how fragile life is and how quickly it can be taken away. “Sometimes it just feels really, really wonderful to be alive.” – Doug Coupland. Anyone who has been seriously ill and recovered can, and no doubt will be able to, echo that statement. I must admit since the car accident I have realised how great it is just be able to walk and enjoy life to the full. To appreciate things and try not to take things so much for granted.

“YOU REALISE HOW FRAGILE LIFE IS AND HOW QUICKLY IT CAN BE TAKEN AWAY.” “When you arise in the morning think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius. “Wake up and Live.” – Bob Marley. So enjoy the rest of the Sorted Mag, enjoy today and enjoy your life. n Baz lives in Sheffield and loves comedy, painting and trying to play golf. His wife Linda and he have led a Church for 18 years . He is also a Sports Chaplain for Sheffield Eagles Rugby League Club & Sheffield Wednesday FC.

“If you’re reading this… congratulations, you’re alive! If that’s not something to smile about, then I don’t know what is.” Chad Sugg. BY BAZ GASCOYNE

know at times I get so bogged down with doing what needs to be done and keeping on the treadmill of working and day‐to‐day life that I can easily take life and all that it has to oﬀer for granted. It’s only when someone close takes ill or dies that I ponder about making the most of every day and the opportunities it brings.

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Three months ago my wife Linda and I were in a serious car accident driving down to London on the M40 near Oxford. Two cars drove into the back of us whilst Linda was braking due to the traffic ahead stopping suddenly. Fortunately, Linda stopped in time and didn’t drive into the back of the Range Rover that stopped in front of us. Unfortunately the cars behind did not brake in

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SPORT

Premier League Preview As the 2014‐15 Premier League gets underway, legendary BBC commentator, John Motson, assesses the coming season in the light of the recent World Cup. JOHN MOTSON TALKING TO STUART WEIR

thought it was a very good World Cup, comparable with 1982 as the best World Cup I remember. I thought 2014 had a better first phase than the ones that have gone before but it slowed down a bit in the knockout as teams got a bit cautious with so much at stake. But I think if you look at the stats, 171 goals that curiously was exactly the number as 1982, it confirms that it was entertaining. The highlight is perhaps the performance of some of the underdogs like Costa Rica as well as one or two very brave efforts by teams like USA and Algeria. All in all I thought everyone took to it well. The crowds were good. The fears about safety were fortunately not realised. Of course, it will always be remembered as the World Cup where Brazil imploded – being the hosts and the team that everyone thought would probably succeed in their own country. The 7‐1 80

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England’s performance A real disappointment! I have gone back in the records and it’s the ﬁrst time that England have not won a game in a World Cup – there have been times before when they have not qualiﬁed. But to go to the World Cup and not win a game was very disappointing. The inquest must start with the Italy game. They made a very poor start with all the fuss about playing the jungle, which was the same for Italy, which didn’t seem to take into account that England still had to play a football match and produce a performance.

“TO LOSE TWICE AND BE ON THE PLANE HOME WHILE OTHER TEAMS WERE STILL COMPLETING THE GROUP STAGE, I FOUND A WOEBEGONE PERFORMANCE.”

Getty Images for Sony

The World Cup

semi‐ﬁnal defeat by Germany will go down in history as Brazil’s biggest ever defeat. That game also deﬁned Germany as the best team in the competition. They played with no fear and took Brazil apart. In fact, if you look back at the games Germany played – although they were pushed all the way once or twice, certainly by Algeria and through, in the group stage Ghana, they had the mental strength that of course has always been associated with German teams and they really came to the fore in the closing stages.

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A lot of people in England gave them the benefit of the doubt saying there were encouraging signs and things to build on. The problem in a World Cup is that you don’t really have time to build. You need to get your points on the board when you can. And having fumbled against Italy they lost the plot against Uruguay. Suarez apart, I didn’t think Uruguay were an outstanding team. But to lose twice and be on the plane home while other teams were still completing the group stage, I found a woebegone performance. And there were aspects of it that Roy Hodgson, if he had his time again – and it’s easy with hindsight – would have done differently. In contrast, Germany have been to 13 semi‐ finals in 18 tournaments and I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the Germans have a 2‐3 week winter break, keeping the players fresh in the winter so that when they come out for the summer there at their peak. In England we

tend to ﬂog our players all through the season with Premier League, Cup, European games and when we get to the crunch in major tournaments we didn’t look bright and breezy and it’s not the ﬁrst time that has happened. It is a great sadness to me that the FA and the Premier League cannot conspire to give the players a winter break

Manchester United Louis van Gaal, the new Manchester United manager, had a good World Cup with Holland. With this tactical awareness and the track record he has got, I think Manchester United have every reason to look forward with optimism to what he might achieve in England. There is nothing he does not know about the game and with his strength of personality he will put Manchester United back on the right road. What van Gaal did in the World Cup was get the best out of his players. Robben was outstanding – in my opinion the best player in the tournament – Van Persie and Sneijder made important contributions at the right time. Van Gaal had the ﬂexibility as a coach to move things on, changing his system when it was necessary. He will be remembered for the very brave decision to change his goalkeeper for the penalties but it didn’t work for him in the semi‐ﬁnal because he had already used three substitutes. At the time of writing Manchester United have signed Luke Shaw and Ander Herrera but I don’t think that will be the end of it. Manchester United are likely to go into the market two or three more times before the season starts. They have got the money and with the kit deal announcement there is no limitation on him really in terms of spending and I think van Gaal will see it as another great challenge.

Action Images / Craig Brough Livepic

Action Images / Matthew Childs Livepic

SPORT

Chelsea David Luiz is a very eccentric, erratic player. He’s a good footballer but he is not the man to hold a defence together. In the World Cup he was ok playing with Thiago Silva – and also scored a fantastic goal from free kick. But when it came to the crunch in the semi‐final, once Germany opened Brazil up I’m afraid David Luiz rather lost the plot and didn’t ever get it back. I felt he made a very big mistake in the semi‐final coming out holding a picture of Neymar as if they were saying to the Germans “we haven’t got our best player”. And the Germans exploited the absence of Neymar and Thiago Silva to the point where Brazil was embarrassed about what was left of their team. Paris St Germain have seen fit to pay an awful lot of money for him and I think it’s quite significant that Jose Mourinho has allowed him to go because he didn’t think he was consistent enough in one position to enhance Chelsea’s Premier League hopes. Chelsea has got Cahill and Terry and I don’t think David Luiz was going to replace either of them on a permanent basis. Another Chelsea player, Oscar, had a disappointing tournament. He was, I think, a bit caught in the rush of the Brazilian situation. Chelsea’s new signing, Cecs Fabregas, did not have a good World Cup. It wasn’t just f

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Fabregas there were several big names in the Spanish team who just did not perform. Spain hardly got started; the holders going out will always be seen as one of the pivotal moments of the World Cup. It could have gone the other way with David Silva missing a great chance for two nil in the opening match and then Holland came back and scored ﬁve goals.

Action Images / Carl Recine

Liverpool Liverpool’s big news is the transfer of Luis Suarez to Barcelona. I think Liverpool made the right decision. Once it all happened again and Suarez got the draconian punishment for biting the Italian player, I think Liverpool looked at it and thought there is £75 million on the table and we can get rid of heap of trouble – as well as a great player – and get the chance to buy other players. Some people will say that Liverpool are selling their best player

and with him the chance of winning the league. My own view is that they are better off going down a different road and they have some good young players and they can go out with the £75 million, assess what they have got and improve it. The problem is that I don’t think Suarez is going to change. I think he doesn’t quite understand the seriousness that this is a third offence – or counting the incident with Patrice Evra a fourth offence. If I had been in Liverpool’s position I would have done exactly the same.

Arsenal A lot of Arsenal supporters are screaming at Arsène Wenger to sign an out and out striker, to play alongside Olivier Giroud. He has signed Alexis Sanchez who is more of an attacking midﬁeld player. I thought Giroud had a good World Cup as did Joel Campbell for Costa Rica.

I don’t think Campbell is going to get into the ﬁrst team right away but he did enough in the games he played for Costa Rica that there is every chance that he will be kept at Arsenal rather than loaned out again. Arsenal had three players in the German squad. You wouldn’t say that any of them had an outstanding World Cup but Memut Özil was always there and scored an important goal.

Manchester City City was well represented at the World Cup. I think Pablo Zabaleta showed himself to be the best right back in the world and he was somewhat unlucky to ﬁnish up on the losing side in the ﬁnal. Martin Demichelis, who I didn’t think played particularly well for Manchester City last season, did play well for Argentina. Yaya Toure did not really sparkle but there were several players that you were looking for more from. Aguero was injured for most of the World Cup. To sum it all up the World Cup was littered with players from the Premier League and some performed and some didn’t. Ron Vlaar is perhaps the one I would pick out as somebody who surprised people with his performances at centre half for Holland and certainly looked a class above the player we saw at Aston Villa. n Stuart Weir is passionate about Jesus Christ and about sport, and he spends his life trying to help people make the connection. He has written several books about sport and Christianity and has worked as a sports writer at Olympic, Paralympic and World Championship events. He has been to three football World Cups and was Togo’s Olympic attaché at the 2012 Olympics. Married to Lynne, he has two grown‐up children. He is a member of Kidlington Baptist Church and Frilford Heath Golf Club. @stuartweir

Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

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Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

Sorted Issue 42 Sep_Oct 14_Layout 1 05/08/2014 16:38 Page 84

SPORT

THE RYDER CUP

Golf’s Ryder Cup takes place at Gleneagles, Scotland 26‐28 September. Bernhard Langer, who has played in ten Ryder Cups, tells Sorted his thoughts on the competition. BERNHARD LANGER TALKING TO STUART WEIR

he Ryder Cup is a three‐day competition between 12 golfers from the USA and 12 from Europe. The match takes place every two years, alternating between Europe and the USA. Named after Samuel Ryder, who presented the ﬁrst trophy in the 1920s, it has a long tradition and an important place in the golﬁng calendar. The format involves foursome (two players taking alternative shots with the same ball), four‐ball and singles. There are 28 matches in all and, with one point awarded for each win, a team needs 14½ points to win the Ryder Cup.

REUTERS/Brian Snyder / Picture Supplied by Action Images

“IT’S A LOT HARDER PLAYING FOR YOUR TEAM THAN JUST PLAYING FOR YOURSELF.” Professional golfers are used to playing under pressure. Each week we have to make putts with lots of money at stake and with the eyes of the world upon us. What is diﬀerent in the Ryder Cup is that you are playing not just for yourself but for your team and for your continent. We’re all hyped up and that’s a problem. To treat it as just another tournament would be better. But with everyone around us being totally on edge, it’s hard to stay calm and collected and it makes playing very diﬃcult. It’s a lot harder playing for your team than just playing for yourself.

Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

I always enjoyed team golf very much but there is certainly an added pressure. When you play for yourself and make a mistake, it is only you who is the loser. In the Ryder Cup you have the added feeling of letting down your partner and the team – a completely diﬀerent kind of pressure. In most tournaments the spectators are neutral; they applaud the good shots and are quiet on the bad shots. But in the Ryder Cup the galleries are totally one‐sided and will even applaud mistakes by the other team. So when we are playing in the USA it is a very odd experience for me to ﬁnd a bunker or miss a putt, only to hear the crowd cheering. It is far more emotional than a normal tournament.

My first Ryder Cup was in 1981 at Walton Heath, Surrey. The USA had a very strong team and won easily, 18½ to 9½. You have to remember too that at that time USA had not lost a Ryder Cup since 1957. It was a mountain for us to climb. My Ryder Cup debut was with Manuel Pinero against Larry Nelson and Lee Trevino, and we lost by one hole. I was shaking, really nervous. I think it is the same with 95 per cent of players making their debuts. It is not easy for a player to turn up and play his best golf in the first round of the Ryder Cup. In my first Ryder Cup I was in awe of people like Jack Nicklaus and Tom Watson. Later in my career, when I had played with all the f

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SPORT Action Images / Craig Brough Livepic

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SPORT attended but there were several Americans. Chris de Burgh was staying in the hotel and he came and sang at the service, so we had wonderful music. There was quite a congregation too, as several hundred spectators had arrived early to reserve their places behind the two greens, where so much drama would unfold later in the day.

“WHEN I LOOK BACK NOW I REALISE THAT THERE ARE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN WINNING A TOURNAMENT.”

Bernhard Langer Ryder Cup Record Played Won Halved 42 21 6

Lost Points Win % 15 24 57

best players in the world and beaten them as often as they had beaten me, I had a different view of them. But at the beginning I was very nervous and didn’t really know what to expect. I played in ten Ryder Cups. 1985 ranks as a great highlight. To be part of the team that won the Ryder Cup for the first time in 28 years was fantastic. By contributing three points while playing with four different partners probably marked me out as a good team player. Europe won 16½ to 11½. In 1987 we went to Muirfield Village and went one better and beat the Americans on their home soil. Again I played all five matches. I really liked Muirfield Village, which reminded me a lot of Augusta. I remember that on the first day as we took the lead, the US crowd became very quiet. I guess there might have been 2,000 Europeans and 10,000 Americans, but it was the Europeans who were making all the noise. The US press were urging the spectators to get behind the team. The next day it was unbelievable; most of the US officials and players’ wives were carrying flags and chanting “USA”. That was a strange experience, something I had never seen in any Ryder Cup. I felt it was a bit over the top.

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It is funny how the draw can keep throwing two players together. That week I played against Larry Nelson three times. My singles match with him was very tight. It see‐sawed back and forth, but there was never much in it. We came to the eighteenth level. We each had a putt of two and a half feet and we just looked at each other and said, “good, good”, shook hands and walked oﬀ. Larry and I are friends and I think we both felt, “I don’t want to miss this putt but equally I don’t really want you to miss yours”. While I did not realise it at the time, that half point took us to fourteen points and meant that, even if we had not yet won, we could not lose. It is, again, all part of the mystique of the Ryder Cup. Even in the most competitive situation imaginable you don’t want your opponent – who may well be a friend – to lose a match by missing a putt and have to live with that for the rest of his career. I have played a lot on the US tour and quite a few of the US players are personal friends, so there is no animosity among us. It means that while I don’t want to lose to them, I do want to beat them fair and square and not in controversial circumstances. In 1989 the match ended 14–14 so we retained the Ryder Cup. One thing that was diﬀerent about the 1989 Ryder Cup was that we held a Christian service on the Sunday morning behind the ninth and eighteenth greens. I was the only European player who

The 1991 Ryder Cup was at Kiawah Island. This was one of the worst Ryder Cups, in terms of attitude between players and the hostility of the US crowd. Some US newspapers called it “The War on the Shore”. I was very unhappy with that. It is not a war; it is a game. In the singles on the ﬁnal day, the captain put me in the anchor position, which meant I was the last player out on the course. My opponent was the double US Open Champion, Hale Irwin. At the 15th hole, the US team had a one‐point lead and the Ryder Cup trophy would remain in Europe, as we were holders. I was two down after 15 holes. I won the 16th and the 17th. It all came down to the last putt of the last hole in the last match on the last day. On the 18th, I was on the green in two. I had a long putt. I hit it just too hard and it went past the hole. So I could see what the ball did on this side of the hole and therefore what it was likely to do on my next putt. I was left with a six putt to win the match. I just missed. There are photographs of me just after the putt has missed with a very pained expression on my face. It wasn’t just because we had lost the Ryder Cup, though that was bad enough. Part of it was just that the putt had not gone in after it had felt so good. It was a chance a golfer only gets once in a lifetime, to hole a putt for the Ryder Cup. I did my best but in the end it was not good enough. As I walked oﬀ the green, I was very disappointed – for the team, all my colleagues, the captain, for the whole tour, the continent, that I had let them down. I had missed a putt. On the other hand, I knew I had tried my best and had done everything I possibly could. My relationship with God, with Jesus Christ, put it all in perspective. When I look back now I realise that there are far more important things in life than winning a tournament, or losing a tournament, or making or not making a putt. I know I did my best and I can live with it and go on. I don’t live in the past. I live in the future. I am amazed that over ten years later, people still want to talk about the putt. When a journalist asked me about it the following week, I said: “Looking at the Ryder Cup from a Christian point of view, there has only ever been one perfect man, the Lord Jesus, and we killed him. I only missed a putt.” The Ryder Cup has been an important part of my career. I’ve cried in Ryder Cups, but I’ve had many laughs as well. I am sure that the 2014 Ryder Cup will be a really exciting event too. n

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Sorted Issue 42 Sep_Oct 14_Layout 1 05/08/2014 16:38 Page 88

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SPORT

Race For Life Sorted are the proud sponsors of F1 International Sidecar racing team – Edwards Racing.

dwards Racing are currently competing against 36 other world‐class crews in the Eastern Airways F1 Sidecar British Championship. The team’s fate will be sealed in Round 9, the last race that takes place October 17‐19 at Brands Hatch. Mark Edwards is the driver of this team, while Lee Barrett is his Robin, taking the all important passenger seat. To date Mark’s biggest achievement in sidecar racing is becoming the European Champion in 2009. The team’s ambition is to win this British Championship and then do a full year competing in the World Series.

“LIFE IS SO SHORT,YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND AFTER WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROWN YOU JUST GO FOR IT.”

Never Giving Up Life hasn’t been an easy ride for Mark who, although you would never know it watching him drive around tracks at 150 mph, is actually racing without a sizeable chunk of his bowel and just one lung. 90

Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

In 2005 the driver was diagnosed with cancer and told those scary six words: “You have little chance of survival.” While some people would give up on their dreams and just focus on ﬁghting to stay alive, Mark decided to pursue his! “Life is so short, you have to follow your dreams and after what I have been thrown you just go for it,” Mark beams. “Motorbikes have always been my passion.” Mark went through six months of chemotherapy and over 30 sessions of radiotherapy. “I had my ﬁrst operation on my bowel, where they removed most of my bowel, and then I had to go and have a (colostomy) bag for 12 weeks, and then they reversed that operation. “I had my operation and the surgeon reconstructed me inside, so I didn’t have to have a bag. One more millimetre and it would’ve been in my spine and then that would have been it really. “That was all right for six months and then I got it in my lung, so then I had to have a lung out.” Even during this traumatic time Mark stayed positive. No news could defeat him. He is a guy who knows what he wants and continues to chase after it no matter what life throws at him. Mark admits: “The worst thing was when they told me about my lung. I got over the worst bit and then I had it somewhere else and I thought it was never going to end.

“I was just getting back on my feet, I’d bought a car and was looking forward to getting back to work and then it didn’t happen.” When he was well enough Mark once again got back on his feet and decided to live life to the full and do whatever it took to get back into motor sports. Before embarking on the new challenge of F1 Sidecar racing on racetracks, Mark participated in sidecar racing at Grasstrack, both as a driver and a passenger. In 1996 he became British Champion. He has always been into racing activities, dabbling in motocross and BMX from a young age. However funds stopped him being able to live his dreams. Staring death in the face though gave him all the motivation he needed to scrape together the funds to race the 2009 European Championship, where he was crowned the winner! “No words can describe that moment,” explains Mark. “When I was laying in the hospital bed after having my lung removed I said to everyone that I was going to come back and win the European title and when I did it was so emotional. It meant the world to me and Nikki – I was back!”

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SPORT

Moving Forward Nikki married Mark in December 2009, the perfect end to a triumphal year! Mark says Nikki is his soulmate, best friend and wife and he couldn’t have got through the dark years without her. He has now been clear of cancer for a few years and gone from strength to strength. This is not a guy to hide from a challenge. Mark and Lee have been doing great on the road so far and are hopeful for a good end result. Mark says: “So far we can’t complain! We have had two rounds of the Championship, which consists of five races – the first round at Easter at Brands Hatch, then the second round at Snetterton in June. First round, we had a 4th, 3rd (podium finish) and 5th finish – we suffered a severe misfire for all races and in the last we were very lucky to finish! Snetterton, we finished 6th & 4th. We are currently lying 4th in the Championship with 63 points, eight points behind 3rd place.

The rest of the Championship will see Edwards Racing competing on the racetracks of Knockhill, Thruxton, Donington Park and Silverstone. Mark and Lee have to work very closely together, keeping in unison to make the machine perform. Without the passenger in the correct position, the sidecar is almost unrideable. Lee is a very experienced passenger. He has competed for three years in the famous Isle of Man TT and has been a passenger in ten World rounds. “The sidecar paddock is very close,” explains Mark. “Lee has really helped us over the past few years to develop my riding style and also be successful. You have to work as a team to have any chance of winning and we do.” Mark says: “Thank you all very much for your support, we really do appreciate it.” The boys believe they have what it takes to win and so do we here at Sorted. Join us in cheering them on for their ﬁnal races! n

Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

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HEALTH & FITNESS

FITNESS With Phil Baines

encourage over one million people to get more active and get moving by setting up walking events and exercise schemes, like Health Walks and The Green Gym. You may well have heard of these. He has recently come up with “Beat the Street”, a brilliantly simple idea that has been trialed in Caversham, Reading and other areas local to this. You can Google this to see but the basic idea is to get people of all ages walking, cycling, even scooting, whatever they enjoy to get fit. Why not use September as a time to build into your schedule four, 30‐minute sessions of exercise. This can be walking, running, cycling, swimming or going to the gym. Dr Bird’s schemes are mainly walking and he says that just three or four sets of 30 minutes of fairly vigorous exercise per week is enough to hugely reduce the risks of getting most cancers, heart problems, diabetes, and arthritis. If you want to lose weight you will need to look at your diet as well. However, it is interesting that an overweight person who exercises is probably fitter and healthier than a sedentary thin person. Again inactivity is a real problem.

“IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THOSE WINTER BLUES TRY A SIMPLE BIT OF EXERCISE.”

It Pays to be Active

e active and avoid a winter of discontent. As we come to the end of the summer already (where has it gone?), let’s look at the importance of getting and staying fit and healthy. People with any form of depression will often find September a difficult month. The nights are just drawing in, the temperature changes and so does our mood. If we are also largely inactive that exacerbates the problem. Inactivity is one of the most serious health issues at the moment. A sedentary lifestyle contributes to as many deaths, if not more, than smoking. Dr William Bird, a GP from Reading, has been writing and speaking about this very topic for 20 years. The statistics are really quite frightening. Over 30% of our children are obese, but the problem is not obesity but inactivity. In reality, obesity is a product of inactivity and it is the inactivity that kills. Dr Bird said

Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

this problem is becoming critical in two groups; teenage girls and the elderly. The real worry is that we will have a much greater number of our children dying before we do. On the back of this Dr Bird set up “Intelligent Health” after managing to

Therefore, I would really encourage you to increase your activity this September. This is of course beneficial for you, but perhaps as important for your children. Our children will generally follow what we are doing and are far more likely to exercise if we are. Finally, the benefits of exercise are mental as well as physical. When you exercise endorphins are released within the body, which help you feel good. They also control persistent pain, bodily cravings and reduce feelings of stress and frustration. So if you want to avoid those winter blues try a simple bit of exercise and see the effects for you and your children. n Phil Baines is passionate about ﬁtness and sport. He recently began a venture called Fit 4 The Challenge (www.f4tc.co.uk), which oﬀers a range of physical challenges for diverse abilities. Phil organises each challenge and trains individuals and teams to complete them, either for charity or for personal achievement or both. Phil is married with two teenage sons.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

HEALTHY COOKING With Chef Mike Darracott

Lemon and Black Pepper Cod Goujons Serves four people

INGREDIENTS 1 medium beaten egg Bread crumbs 1 tsp paprika Salt and pepper 200g cod fillet, cut into thin strips as per picture 80g plain flour 1 lemon quartered for garnishing with 5 tbsp of vegetable oil for frying with or use a deep fat fryer.

METHOD 1 2 3 4 5

Place your bread crumbs, salt, pepper and paprika into a bowl and mix them together. Into another bowl put the beaten egg and 70g of flour. Mix these into a batter. Using the flour thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s left, dust each piece of cod with it and then dip each piece into the batter. Dip the cod into the bread crumb mix. Now either deep fry for around ten minutes or fry them in vegetable oil.

Michael J Darracott has been an executive chef at various large establishments. He has cooked for more than 200 people at a time, including a number of celebrities, and has published several books. For more information, visit www.chefmikedarracott.com.

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HUMOUR

PAUL KERENSA

Kneel-Down Stand-Up

The History of the World in 100 Films REX/c.Warner Br/Everett

’m a film geek. Don’t believe me? Proof: I’m chronologically listing every event of every film on my website TheMovieTimeline.com. And it’s led me to wonder, which hundred films could teach you the history of the world? We’ve all wondered it. Haven’t we? You can see my hundred picks on the aforementioned site. But here’s my working… I’ve begun with Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life. I found the film tediously slow, but hey, it showed the birth of the universe and a dinosaur being struck by compassion and an asteroid, so it’s in, followed by Ice Age (yes the cartoon).

“I’M SURE THERE’S ONE THING WE CAN AGREE ON – I AM DEFINITELY A FILM GEEK.” Then Quest For Fire, Land of the Pharaohs and in 1400BC Charlton Heston keeps taking the tablets in The Ten Commandments. Troy, Cleopatra and then I’m picking Spartacus (“No I’m picking Spartacus!” etc). Controversy time: films of Jesus. I’m starting with The Nativity Story, a film accused of blandness but I think it portrayed well the REX/Moviestore

Sorted. Sep/Oct 2014

REX/Snap Stills

ordinariness of Mary’s world. Next, two films where Jesus may be just off‐camera – Ben‐Hur and (I know they were naughty boys, but…) The Life of Brian. Finally, The Passion of the Christ gives us that long Good Friday. Gladiator goes on my first whistle, Red Cliff portrays broken China, King Arthur lances a lot, and Mongol shows the wrath of Genghis Khan. Then the Crusades: Kingdom of Heaven and Errol Flynn’s The Adventures of Robin Hood (sorry, Costner). Mel yells till he’s blue in the face in Braveheart and ends a civilisation with Apocalypto. The British monarchy has Olivier’s Henry V, Henry VIII’s “Six Weddings & Several Funerals” in A Man For All Seasons and the Spanish arm harder in Elizabeth. The Last of the Mohicans makes my hair stand on end while Russell Crowe’s a Master & Commander of an ark, or ship – I forget which. 12 Years a Slave and Amazing Grace show the abomination of slavery and the beginnings of its end. For the Wild West: Dances With Wolves and Wyatt Earp (well done Costner, you made the list eventually). The Wild East: Gangs of New York. The Wild Far East: The Last Samurai. The Twentieth Century is dominated by warfare: War Horse and All Quiet on the Western Front for WW1 and A Bridge Too Far, REX/Moviestore Collection

REX/SNAP

Saving Private Ryan, Schindler’s List, Letters from Iwo Jima and Downfall show the horrors of WW2 from very different angles. Other event films span the century, from Titanic and The Artist to To Kill a Mockingbird and The Right Stuff while the dangers of modern warfare feature brutally in Platoon, comically in Dr Strangelove and chillingly in The Killing Fields. Some sum up the mood of their time, like Made in Dagenham (“Ford? A few dollars more…”) or Wall Street (Michael Douglas cleans up, with two Mr Sheens). And for the modern world, see World Trade Center, The Social Network and Zero Dark Thirty. My list is of course wrong. You’ll doubtlessly disagree; that’s the point of lists. But in viewing this expanse of history condensed to a few hundred hours of celluloid, I’m sure there’s one thing we can agree on – I am definitely a film geek. n Paul Kerensa is an award‐winning stand‐up comic and author of the book So a Comedian Walks Into a Church. He co‐won a British Comedy Award for writing on the BBC’s Miranda, and the Royal Television Society (RTS) Award for Not Going Out, as well as working on other shows that history has thankfully forgotten. Visit www.paulkerensa.com to find out more. @paulkerensa REX/Moviestore

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HUMOUR

TONY VINO

In Vino Veritas Preston booked 3 months in advance is £11.50, if booked on the day it’s the same except you just remove the decimal place. Similar case in point with so called “low cost” airlines. They are of course low cost for those who plan properly. On my last trip to Malaga I’d forgot to book enough luggage allowance so was charged more for adding a suitcase than the contents of the bag and flight combined. Thus the well planned and well ordered in life have a definite advantage. However the most spontaneous and creative people I know are administratively hopeless. I suppose it makes sense that original creative thoughts largely come out of chaos not order. As Nietzsche once said: “One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to the dancing star.”

“A LEVEL OF DISORDER IN LIFE AND SURROUNDINGS CAN LEAD PEOPLE TO THINK MORE CLEARLY AND SIMPLY.”

Chaos Theory

’d love to be organised. My wife is a natural planner. Her idea of an ideal “date night” involves a calendar. For me anything more than three days away is a bit of a blur. I will therefore agree to do anything, as long as it’s far enough in the future. There are some truly awful things I’ve been roped into due to my lack of foresight. How else could I explain ﬁve days bird watching near Rhyl with my brother‐in‐law Dave, who is an avid Twitcher (I sometimes physically twitch when thinking back to this time). That to me wasn’t a holiday, more like a well‐meaning hostage situation. I’m congenitally wired to never remembering important dates. There is nothing lamer than a last minute bunch of flowers hastily purchased from a petrol station on our wedding anniversary to say, “I love you, but I haven’t given it much thought”. However last year as a

treat I did manage to pre‐book her one of those “Pamper Days” (eight hours in a nappy took years off her). As well as diary management my wife finds it relaxing to make endless lists of things “To Do”. I get stressed by the very idea of creating a “To Do” list and I generally don’t manage to start one because I can never find a pen. Last one I started simply morphed into a list of the 20 most depressing songs I’ve ever heard. #1 Everybody Hurts by REM, #2 Love Will Tear Us Apart by ironically titled Joy Division, followed by several Adele songs and a selection of Leonard Cohen’s greatest party hits, finally ending at #20 with I Believe Robson & Jerome (not a particularly depressing song except it was playing in the background when I was dumped once). Good organisation is a virtue richly rewarded in society. A train ticket to London from

A recent report from Germany’s Groningen University states that a level of disorder in life and surroundings can lead people to think more clearly and simply. They cite, for example, that having a messy desk (Einstein famously had one, so did Roald Dahl) can actually foster more creativity and better problem solving because people are forced to simplify their thoughts. Perfect! I have some science to back me up next time I’m berated for forgetting a birthday or my child’s middle name. I decide to head out to my office with its messy desk of destiny in order to write an original comic masterpiece of astounding brilliance – strap in world. The only problem is I can’t find my car keys… n Tony Vino is a professional comedian who straddles the world of comedy clubs, festivals and churches. For more information see www.tonyvino.co.uk. @tonyvino

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COMMENT

CARL BEECH

The Last Word

Diminishing Returns

he first time I got on a motorbike, about 18 years ago, I was totally pumped. It was a 500cc Kawasaki ER5. Not exactly the world’s most powerful motorbike but I loved it. I had always loved the sight and sound of motorbikes, and there I was at the age of 24 about to fulfill a dream of getting my bike license. A week later I had it. A pass to ride any motorbike I wanted. My life as a biker began. For bike fans out there, I went from the bike school’s ER5 to a GT550 shaft drive old beast that couriers used to use. I was a student pastor and didn’t have much cash but despite its age and appearance I loved it. It was my bike. I took it all over the UK and France. Sometimes I had to bump start it but I didn’t care one bit. From there it was a VFR 750, a CBR 600, a BMW (all moderately old bikes) and many years later a

Honda CB 1300 which basically has a bigger engine than most small hatch backs and weighs less than a Sumo wrestler. In other words it’s like riding the Millennium Falcon as it jumps to light speed. Really, it’s all the bike a man should ever need. It’s powerful, fast and shiny. What more could a bloke want? Then something happened. My mate Nathan, another biker, joined the team at CVM. He’s got an older bike that he’s modified and hacked to bits and most recently had fitted a new exhaust pipe that makes his bike sound like an F1 car on steroids. That’s the missing link. Powerful, fast, shiny and LOUD! This may sound very shallow but when Nathan and I recently went on our bikes to speak at a men’s day, the blokes all gathered outside after the event and said things like “ooh shiny”, “ahh loud” and “hmm powerful”. This leads me to my main

point of this editions offering. Let’s talk about the law of diminishing returns. You see, even a small bike can give you that sense of danger and freedom that big bikes give you. I won’t go as far as to say a hair‐dryer powered scooter will do, but any bike can be a joy. I once rode a beaten up old Honda down a dirt track in India and loved it. Couldn’t do more than a few miles per hour but it was a scream. But there is a problem with human nature. The more we have, the more we want. We want shinier, louder, more powerful. A few months on the road and you start to look at the bigger, better bikes and plot a way to get one. It applies across the board. The more money you get, the less it satisfies. When asked how much money it took to make you happy, JD Rockefeller (probably, when taking inflation into account, the wealthiest person in history) replied: “Just a little bit more.” Same with sex. A man looks at porn and he wants to look at more. Soon normal porn doesn’t satisfy and it takes you down a well‐ worn path to a nightmare of lies, heartache and a ruined love life with your partner.

“THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH HUMAN NATURE. THE MORE WE HAVE, THE MORE WE WANT.” No easy answers to this but I will pass on a lesson from a man I met in the Cottian Alps. He had been a mega businessman and now lived next to a cow shed in an old half converted, half falling down barn. When I asked him why he had left his big time, big money life behind he looked at me with a kind of sympathy in his eyes and said: “The simple life my friend. Keep it simple and you’ll be happier.” I write this whilst looking at the new motorbike magazine on my coffee table with the latest shiny, loud, powerful bike on the front cover. Problems! n Carl is married with two daughters. He heads up Christian Vision for Men (CVM) and founded Codelife. You can follow him on Twitter @carlfbeech and on Facebook. @carlfbeech and @cvmen

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