Jan/Feb 2011 by Tess Rutherford

January/February 2011

THANK YOU CONTRIBUTORS! Writers

Bruce Fullah - Speaker and Author, bfullah77@ gmail.com

Melissa McKissack - http://forevergratefulone. tumblr.com, mmckissack@richwoods.org

Jacobi Perry - camjus04@gmail.com

Sabrina Phillips - phillips_sabrina@ameritech.net

Melkecia Welch - Biblical Studies major, melkeciaw@yahoo.com

Photographer Ben Geyer

http://www.flickr.com/photos/geyerba/

Editor

Tina Mason

http://www.masonandmasonservices.com January/February 2011

VOL. 1, NO 1 | JAN/FEB 2011

Contents

Cover Story:

From a Hopeless Marriage to a Happy One.....................................13 Tess Rutherford

Features:

Meant to Be, or Up to Me? That is the Question!........................................................................06 Bruce Fullah

Regular Scheduled Marriage Maintenance......................................08 Jacobi Perry

Spiritual Friends...............................................................................19 Sabrina Phillips

To Deal or To Bearâ&#x20AC;Ś in Love..........................................................21 Melissa McKissack

Another level of Love (Poem)..........................................................10 Melkecia Welch

In Every Issue: Letter from CEO/Publisher...............................................................05 Delightful Recipe..............................................................................18 Laughter for the Soul........................................................................12 Reviews.............................................................................................23 Reader Feedback...............................................................................24

January/February 2011

Letter from CEO/Publisher Tess Rutherford

Never, in my wildest dreams, did I imagine that I would be in the position I’m in now. Ten years ago, I was a girl who lacked purpose, ambition, and dreams. No one could see the hidden talents within me except God. There was a time in my life when I was so terrified of public speaking. And when I was assigned to write a term paper for school, I would experience anxiety of every sort. Speaking, researching and writing were just not my forte! Who knew that I would be a speaker someday? Who knew that I would be a talk show host? Who knew that I would be an author someday? Who knew that I would be the publisher of an empowering magazine someday? Who knew?! It was God who spoke to me while I was still battling insecurities. He clearly told me that He had a purpose for my life. In retrospect, I don’t know if I was more excited about God speaking or more excited about Him having a purpose for me. Many people, who obtain success, are privileged to credit their teachers, their parents, or themselves for that matter. I will admit that my mother has played an instrumental role in my accomplishments, but God proved to be the ultimate igniter. He ignited a flame on

the inside of me to fulfill His assignment. It felt like the Lord hand-selected me out of a lineup to be one of His little helpers. Everything about me didn’t seem to measure up with His future description of me. Nevertheless, I said Yes. It was exciting to know that I had something to live for. No longer did I have to feel remorseful about my past mistakes. The moment I accepted Jesus, God gave me a clean slate. It was as if the Lord said, “Tess, I know you cannot see it right now but you have a special gift on the inside of you. Your gift has the potential to transform many, many lives. If you trust Me and continue to follow Me, I will bring it to fruition.” I want you to know that God doesn’t show favoritism. This promise was not just for me but to all mankind. He will not give you all the details concerning your purpose but He will empower you with strength upon high to fulfill His plan. But to get started, He needs a Yes from you. The moment you say Yes, God will begin to “work a work” in your life like no other. (Habakkuk 1:5 KJV) In whatever you do, pursue godly kind of success – the success that will shake nations and make history. God bless you and I pray you enjoy the first issue of Empowered!

Tess 5

January/February 2011

Choosing a mate is a complex topic; or do we make it that way? Is my future spouse my soul mate? Only God knows the one and only person for me. He is concealing this person until the appropriate time, till we finally elope and explore our love in marital bliss! Sounds exciting right? On the other hand, maybe God is waiting for me to make a spiritually intelligent decision. For the man or woman who’s really seeking to live for God and fulfill their calling in Christ, you understand that choosing a mate is a HUGE deal! The last thing you want is to marry someone who extinguishes your fire for God, or who doesn’t understand your unique commitment to Christ. The thought of ending up with that person is frightening, to say the least; so naturally many of us proceed prayerfully with a bit of caution. Wouldn’t it be nice to get the hook up like Adam did? It was simple. Adam took a nap; God did his handiwork, and wallah! He woke up to his one and only - Eve! Adam was so excited. I’ll bet he said, “Whoa, man!… Woman!” He had no doubt, no questions, and no other potentials, or com-

parisons for miles, or anywhere for that matter! This woman was his! Oh if it were so simple now! This is the place Christian singles, everywhere, are waiting to arrive. We all want the confident assurance beyond any doubt and debate that this person is for me! When you’re a single Christian who desires to marry, the process of choosing your mate can send you through a host of emotions. Sometimes it can be lonely, while at other times it can be quite liberating. That is the freedom of not being held accountable to another forever. At the end of the day when all emotions settle, the challenge of making the right choice still remains. Many Christians believe that it’s not so much about choice, but God has the perfect spouse already hand selected somewhere out there waiting. Others believe that God gives you the choice, and wants you to exercise good spiritual judgment in your decision. How does it work? Is there such a thing as soul mates? Should we be waiting on the ONE? It seems to be a little of both. Earlier today, I was watching television, and there was a young man speaking about making life changes.

January/February 2011

He said, “If it is to be, it’s up to me.” “Very profound”, I thought. “If it is to be, it’s up to me”, kind of takes the predestined, “meant to be” train of thought, and marries it up with the free will philosophy. No pun intended. The statement acknowledges that there are things waiting for us in our future but the attainment of those things are conditional. Consider Ephesians 2:10 (KJV), “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God

God, our Father, is a master planner. There is no ground awaiting our footprints that he has not gone before us to make provisions. Now, let’s take another look at Ephesians 2:10. Before Paul speaks about the pre-ordained works that await us, he refers to us as God’s workmanship, or handiwork. Why does he mention this? Well, Paul knew that in order for us to fulfill the work, first we needed to be equipped. The only way for us to become equipped is for God himself to prepare us.

then, we must be careful not to become consumed with the idea of marrying in itself, but rather focus on our humble submission to God’s molding and purposeful hand, understanding that our promise is hidden in his competent craftsmanship. When God put Adam to sleep, he went in and did his handiwork on Adam, removing his rib, and extracting his spouse. Adam did not awake to question God’s method or procedure. He didn’t resist; he simply rested. Eve turned out to

“We will marry at the caliber of our current level of development.” hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” To make it a little clearer, the Amplified version uses the term “handiwork” in place of workmanship. Here we see that God has pre-planned works, assignments, tasks, ministries, etc. in the future awaiting our arrival. Based on this scripture we can conclude these things are intended by God, or even “meant to be.” When we consider that God our Father is a master provision ary, this only makes sense. He takes absolute and comprehensive thought regarding every aspect of our lives, down to the number of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30).

God operates on principle; he doesn’t compromise. He prepares things for us (ministry, gifts, callings, spouses) based on the very potential he himself has planted within us. He then begins his handiwork on us in order to draw that potential out and into our reality, so that our character matches the caliber of our call or promise. Now, the condition or determining factor in us actually attaining the promise is and always will be YOU! If we decide to jump off the potter’s wheel, or get off the train a few stops early on our journey to the promised land, then we will marry at the caliber of our current level of development. So January/February 2011

be an help meet (Genesis 2:18), suitable and fit for Adam; she matched his caliber of development and anointing. When we finally become consumed with chasing our destiny and purpose in Christ, we learn to embrace the idea of being God’s handiwork and benefit from the character development that accompanies. So then is it meant to be, intelligent choice, or both? God knows; but we know that it is “meant” for us to make the “intelligent choice” of becoming our best for God, so that we’ll be prepared to receive his best for us.

Regular Scheduled Marriage Maintenance By: Jacobi Perry

As vehicle owners, it is important to prevent any wear and tear on our vehicle. The only way to do this is to get our regular scheduled maintenance. Usually maintenance falls along these lines; every five thousand miles we are required to get an oil change, at 10,000 miles we are required to get our tires rotated, and at 50,000 miles it may be time for a tune up. We do all these things to prolong the life of our vehicles. On dictionary.com, the word vehicle has several definitions. One of the definitions states: any means in or by which someone travels or something is carried or conveyed; a means of conveyance or transport. There is also another definition that stood out: a means of accomplishing a purpose. Therefore, we could say, God is our vehicle to a successful marriage. Marriage is based on a commitment made by a man and a woman for better or for worse. Love

January/February 2011

is what holds our marriages together; if we know God, we know love. The bible tells us in 1 Corinthian 13:4-5 that â&#x20AC;&#x153;Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.â&#x20AC;? Does your spouse do something that drives you crazy? Are you always arguing about the same thing? Let me ask you a question; have you prayed about the situation? People do not change overnight. Jesus told us to ask and it will be given to us, so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important that we do not use our impatience as a reason to disobey God. Our prayers may not be answered when we want, but know that God hears it before we speak it out. Sometimes, God uses delays to test our faith. So ask yourself if you have done a regularly scheduled maintenance on your ability to be patient. How many times have we been unkind to our spouse? Remember when you

had a long, frustrating day at work and you came home to take it out on your spouse? Love is kind and many of us need maintenance in this area. Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Treat people (your spouse) as you would want to be treated. Nobody desires to be treated unkindly. We must not let the weight of the world affect our union with our spouse. Remember love is kind. Love does not envy! This is a danger zone for any relationship, especially a marriage. Do you envy your wife because she makes more money? Do you envy your husband because of his relationship with his mother? Whatever is causing envy in your marriage; it needs to be checked! Envy is not a sign of love; it can destroy a relationship. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” There is no love in being envious, and this type of maintenance may require counseling. Have you ever met a boastful person? First of all, we should never boast about anything because God is our source of all good things. We should be thankful not boastful of our blessings. There should never be boasting of any kind in our marriages. We are one when we become married. His accomplishments are hers and vice versa. The bible tells us in James 4:16, “As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.” I am sure we are all guilty of saying something or doing something to hurt our

spouse. Do we apologize for our wrongdoings? Are we too proud to say I’m sorry? Love is not proud, and we must learn to put all pride aside and admit when we are wrong. Have you checked your pride lately? Pride can be bad for the vehicle controlling your marriage. James

in God’s eyesight. Just as vehicles require maintenance to last longer so do our marriages. Our vehicles need gasoline to run, but our marital relationships need God (love) to run. So next time you think about problems in your marriage, pray this short prayer.

”God is the vehicle and we are the drivers. As the driver, He gives us the choice to turn left or right. “ 4:6 tells us that, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” We must humble ourselves in every situation. These are just a few areas in our marriage that need maintenance. There are so many more to consider, such as selfishness, dishonor, and anger. We must remember that God is love, and a marriage cannot survive on us alone; there must be a greater force leading us to do better. God is the vehicle and we are the drivers. As the driver, He gives us the choice to turn left or right. When we turn right we are doing what is right January/February 2011

Heavenly Father, thank you for my spouse. God, I ask you to help me see myself. I know that I am not perfect and although I know to do right, I continue to do wrong. I love my wife/husband and I pray that I can be obedient to give him/her the love that you have given me. Lord, please work on me, and continue to be the vehicle in our marriage. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

January/February 2011

Love drew us together despite past differences we both had. The first look deep into your eyes, spoke words of this person I have got to have. From anticipating to communicating on to dating and relating. Love carried us through each phase. Some fun, difficult times, and even a little separation caused us to learn how to make it through loveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s maze. Reunited by experience and learning truth! Acknowledging that real Love is found within. Seeking Love out alone and then together. Revealed ourselves individually and created a unique blend. Maturing in our communication level. Excelling in the wills assigned for us. Producing and yielding much fruit! Overflowing with an abundance of joy and trust. No longer questioning if this is right, after a time of waiting. We sought counsel, prayed, and made an obedient choice. Knowing that we are meant to share a life of covenant, A celebration with family and friends is held to help us rejoice! As we surrender before the Lord as two. Uniting together as one whole! Submitting ourselves one to another. Yielding our mind, our body, and our soul. Rooted and grounded in a strong foundation. Working and growing together with high help from above. Remembering not our former ways, but elevating to another level of Love!

January/February 2011

Laughter for the Soul By: Tess Rutherford

ships, I feel it in my heart to do something nice for the Lord… like buy Him a gift. This will be a sure way to improve our relationship! I plan to buy the Lord a watch. Well…let me be honest…the gift is really for my benefit but He won’t “sense” a thing. The watch will feature both the date and time. This way God will know what time it is on earth. Maybe it’ll help Him show up early for His assignments because He’s always showing up at the last minute. I mean don’t get me wrong I appreciate when He does show up but I’m expecting more out of Him in 2011.

January/February 2011

2 Peter 3:8 (NIV) declares, “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” This tells me that God has no real “sense” of time. I mean how is one day like a thousand years? I guess I’m really not surprised. This explains why He seems to take His time regarding my urgent needs. I don’t know if God is busy listening to the angels sing to Him, or if He’s busy being waited on hand and foot. I just don’t know, and I won’t make false assumptions. Since we’re talking about relation-

So I plan to give Him a brand new watch equipped with a rechargeable battery. I will make sure the watch is set to my time zone; also, I plan to give Him the instruction manual. These bonuses leave absolutely no room for excuses, such as tardiness. I don’t want to tell God “why” I got Him the watch because I’m afraid He may lose it on purpose. And please oh please keep this between us. I just hope He gets it! I will let you know if He shows up on time for His next appointment with me. If He doesn’t, His next gift will be a PDA (Personal Digital Assistant). Tootles!

From a Hopeless Marriage to a Happy One ! Interview By: Tess Rutherford

s I watched and observed Pastor David and Ann Massey prior to the interview, they appeared to be the perfect couple. They laughed and joked as buddies do. Nothing in their interchange seemed to expose their past experiences: physical abuse, infidelity, drugs, and premeditating murder. Today, I would liken their marriage to a beautiful tapestry. Each individual thread (experience) played a role in the elegance now displayed. God used each experience in His needle work to create such an exquisite mosaic.

January/February 2011

Unlike most couples, David and Ann did not have blissful beginnings. David was married to another woman at the time he and Ann met. It was lust that brought them together and it was lust that caused them to have an affair. Because of David’s philandering lifestyle, his first marriage ended and that is when David and Ann decided to marry. David says he didn’t have that “she is the one for me” moment, but he was captivated by Ann’s ways. Not long after marrying, David began to feel the weight of his duties. Being a father, in particular, was something new to him. He wondered, “How, on earth, can I fill a role for which I know nothing about?” He did not have the privilege of being raised by both mother and father. He was oblivious to what his fatherly roles entailed. He didn’t know how a husband was supposed to treat his wife. He felt it was too much pressure for him. The fear of his new role drove him into the arms of his first love – cocaine. Prior to marrying, it was cocaine that caused him to become homeless. He would rather spend his entire paycheck on cocaine than pay rent, utilities, and buy food for survival. Before relapsing, he had been free of drugs for three years, but the pressures of life seemed to suffocate him. Ultimately, he ran for his oxygen mask - the pipe. Cocaine allowed him to take a mental vacation from it all. Cocaine had the power of easing his mind from the newly added responsibilities. There was never a

peaceful moment in the household. David and Ann would fight and argue daily. On one occasion, Ann pushed David down a concrete staircase and dislocated his shoulders. The couple soon realized the constant fights were having a detrimental impact on their four year old daughter. Therefore, the couple made a vow for the baby’s sake. Instead of arguing around the baby, they would argue and fight while the “young’un” was away. Things became so strained between the couple that it caused them to separate, but neither one of them was willing to leave their home. Therefore, they continued to live under the same roof - one on the first floor and the other on the second. Two years into the marriage, Ann was introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ. She began to attend church regularly and best of all she learned how to pray. She took the information she learned as a child and began to practice those things. As a lassie, she recalled her grandmother saying things like, “Lord, let not my heart be troubled.” and “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.” Ann simply began to repeat these sayings in her prayers. Although she did not know a lot about the Bible she took what she did know and the Lord began to expand her prayer life. God gifted her with a discerning heart to pick up on various things concerning her husband. For example, Ann would sense, in advance, if David was coming home angry or full of confusion. She began January/February 2011

to live a life of prayer holding her husband up to the throne of Grace. Once, she wrote out all the names of the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control) and placed the paper inside of David’s pillow. David became so enraged about Ann praying over him. One day he sat in his car and said, “This praying is coming to an end Today!” He stormed into the kitchen ready to curse Ann and force her to stop praying, but for some odd reason though, he could not speak. He suddenly heard God tell him that Ann was His child. From that moment on, David did not hinder Ann’s prayers. Not knowing that David had relapsed, Ann believes she was pressed by the Lord to go into the back of the closet and find a pipe in the inner pocket of David’s coat. Ann immediately notified David’s sponsor (mentor from the rehabilitation center) and made him aware of David’s drug use. Ann informed David that she knew about his little secret. At that moment, David felt very ashamed of himself. For three years he was doing good to stay free and he allowed this temptation to come upon him once again. Feeling remorseful about what he had done, David offered up a heartfelt prayer before the Lord. He prayed that God would deliver him once and for all from cocaine. With the help of the Lord, he was able to quit cold turkey. He says the key of being delivered from drugs is a person must be willing and ready to be

free. He says people can pray for drug addicts all day and all night long but at the end of the day the addict must make the choice. No one will make the choice for them. Soon enough David began to attend church with Ann and the two of them begin to grow in the Word. Unfortunately, the marriage was still in horrible condition. The couple was married and attending church, but their hearts were still far from one another. David began to carry out his pastoral calling. Two years into his ministry, the Lord started tugging on him regarding his affair he had two years ago. During the couple’s marriage, he had an affair with another woman for two years. He ended the relationship prior to him leading his congregation. He felt he had a responsibility to walk in integrity and be an example for his flock. However, David questioned God’s reasoning for having him do this now. Why didn’t God direct him to do this early on when the relationship was already at an all time low? Things were starting to get better and this new admission was sure to set them back to a state of hopelessness. Nevertheless, David obeyed the Lord and confessed the affair before his wife. As David imagined, the relationship had gotten worse than ever. Ann was extremely upset about the affair, but somehow she thought she was reaping what she sowed. Ann was once the other woman and now she discovered first hand what it felt like with the shoe on the other foot. Yet, this did not

stop the anger and the rage. Ann thought, “What gives him the right to cheat and not me? I am not an ugly person. Why can’t I do what he did to me?” She contemplated having an affair out of spite and revenge. She wanted David to hurt the way she hurt. She had her heart set on cheating, but every man that came her way did not physically measure up to David. Because the opportunity never presented itself, Ann escaped the temptation to commit adultery but her anger towards her husband grew to such a degree that she started having murderous thoughts regarding her husband. Although she did not use drugs or have an adulteress affair like her husband, she was battling personal demons within. She continued to entertain thoughts on how she would take her husband out for good. She thought, “If I can just put some rat poi January/February 2011

soning in his food... I can end this misery once and for all.” She was not thinking about the insurance money or anything of the like. She wanted a quick and sure way of eradicating her pain. Killing David seem to be the most reasonable and doable option. Ultimately, Ann confided in her mother regarding the thoughts she was experiencing and discovered that her mother tried to poke her husband’s eye out. One of Ann’s cousins succeeded in killing their mate. And there were other people within Ann’s family who murdered their spouse. Ann realized that this appeared to be a generational curse over the family. Ann made a decision that this curse would not win the battle in her life. She cried out to God to fix her marriage. During her praying, she said she felt the pain of God. She says, “I felt like me and my

husband let God down. God did not ordain marriage to be this way. It was like I felt both me and my husband’s hurt and pain combined.” Ann said all shecould d o

was repent before the Lord. A f ter this pivotal moment, the couple started working harder to beautify their marriage. Since David was good at communicating, he began to take Ann by the hand and get her to open up more about her feelings. He did this because he believes what you place on the backburner, will ultimately burn up. He asked Ann to lay everything on the table that troubled her. The couple sat down and shared what they did and didn’t like about each other. They discovered they still loved one another and this was enough for them to fight for their marriage. David prayed that he and his wife would experience a new found love for one another. The couple started praying to gether, going on dates, having bible studies and incorporating

laughter in their interactions.

Soon enough the couple finally experienced the honeymoon bliss and the love that they now have far exceeds their expectations. The couple admits they still have challenges in their marriage, but they understand that God did not promise happiness but He did promise to be there in and through all the test, trials, and tribulations. David says when things happen he takes those experiences and uses them as learning opportunities. He quotes Hosea 4:6, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” If we do not know what the word says about how to tackle various issues, marriages will indeed crumble. January/February 2011

I asked David how couples can get to the level of restoration. He said first and foremost both parties have to be willing. Many marriages fail because a t

least o n e of the couples is not willing to make it work due to a hardness of heart. David says the only one that is capable of softening the heart is God. Ann says she would simply pray, “Lord, if David opens his heart just a little bit, rush in and open it completely towards You.” God restored David’s and Ann’s marriage because they were willing to obey God’s voice. Yes, Satan’s voice seemed to be the loudest and the strongest, but the couple discovered how to shut the devil’s voice out and allow God’s voice to direct their steps. Pastor David and Ann can be reached at http://ccllministry.org/main.html.

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January/February 2011

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January/February 2011

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 Have you ever wondered why you have so many or so little friends? Have you ever contemplated why you “connect” so fast with one individual compared to others? As you read through scriptures in the Bible, you will see and understand why God puts certain individuals in your life and why He removes others. Growing up, I personally never understood why my parents and grandmother attempted to choose my friends. As kids, we have impressionable minds, and we never think out-

side the box. Our main focus, as kids, was to be a kid. As a parent now, I finally understand and realize what my parents and grandmother were doing. They were following instructions from God to remove negative influences from my life. This protection hindered me from running with the wrong type of crowd, which in turn could have corrupted me and made me follow a path of unrighteousness. So how does this tie in with God’s message in the Scripture? Our true friendships seem to get clearer as we mature…

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:12-15

January/February 2011

As I started my spiritual journey with God, I noticed how I also matured spiritually within my personal friendships. I remember craving having a ton of friends. I wanted the infamous girl cliques. I wanted to be accepted within a group of females. We have all had our share of friendship circles. I never understood why certain friends stayed in my life while others were removed. I attempted to re-evaluate myself to see if I had wronged an individual or acted out

about this person, you realize the two of you share common traits and beliefs. This is the person that God has chosen you to share your journey with. These individuals will have good spirits and are also carrying out their own spiritual journey with God. God will place people in your life who will share in your life’s journey and vice-versa. Now that you know what a “Spiritual Friend” is, how many has God brought into your life? Only God knows how many are required

of character. I had my ‘talk’ with God and finally realized what He was doing in my life. He wasremoving the ‘friends’ that were having negative influences in my life. To Him, these individuals were not open to growing and maturing on their journey with God, and that in itself can hold one back on one’s personal journey with God. I can testify personally and say that once you allow God to remove people He does not want you to have in your life, you will notice He will start to bring people in your life that He wants. Who will these individuals be? They will be your “Spiritual Friends.” I hope you have been blessed to have at least one deeply connected person in your life. This is a person you will immediately connect with upon meeting. Although, you start off knowing very little

for your journey. Remember, it is not the quan tity of “Spiritual-friends” you have, rather it is the quality of those individuals. Since I only have five good, solid, quality friends, it lets me know that God wants me to limit who I have in my life. But these five have what it takes to help me fulfill God with every step I make. So the next time you attempt to ponder why a certain individual has left your life without reason, leave it all to God. Let Him choose your “Spiritual Friends”, and in turn, you will see a more fulfilling group of individuals in your life. “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

January/February 2011

LOVE...Everyone longs for it, many of us find it, some of us share it, and a few even extend it to the least deserving. Most of us know what it means to feel loved by someone, even if it’s our parents or a best friend. It can be fairly easy to love someone who loves us in return, but how many of us love the people who are difficult to love, the people who irritate us, anger us, hurt us, and just plain drive us crazy?! I think the reason a lot of relationships struggle is because we think that we deserve to be loved at all times, and when we don’t feel loved, then we decide that we should not be obligated to love in return. This is honestly a childish, immature, and selfish view of love and relationships. If everyone lived this way, few couples would stay together!

As followers of Christ, the love we are called to is selfless, sacrificial, and boundless. Jesus never gives us a “break” from loving others; it is our primary calling as His followers, to love Him and to love others. Now I am not writing

I started 2011 with Ephesians 4:2 as my “verse for the year:” “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” “Bearing with one another in love” is something easy to say and write, but challenging to sincerely live out if you’ve ever encountered a rude, impatient, angry, annoying person and you had to live in close proximity with them for any significant period of time! To “bear with” or to “show tolerance” implies distance, but it is when we get close to another person that it

To “bear with” someone implies togetherness, closeness, and partnership. this because I am a master at loving selflessly; I am just as much a failure at loving selflessly as anyone. I write be cause God has inspired me to write, to share from the heart, and hopefully encourage others to live a life of love. January/February 2011

gets messy, challenging, and sin revealing. Only when we allow ourselves to get close to another person do we realize just how sinful we really are, how selfish our motives are, how quick we are to get angry when we don’t get our way, and how much we think of ourselves before others. If we were merely to “deal with one another in love” we could “deal” from a distance, never sharing a meal with them, never listening to their problems, or devoting any significant amount of time to serving them. Our love would be reduced to simply “dealing with them” superficially and impersonally. However, when we choose to “bear with” one another in love, we open ourselves up to the beautiful experience of loving and being loved. Who knows how God might choose to bless you as you open yourself up to “bear-

ing with” another person in love? Sure, loving someone makes us vulnerable and with that comes the possibility of being wounded, but if we never take the risk of loving, we will never even have the opportunity to experience one of the greatest gifts this side of Heaven. So which will it be…”bearing with” or “dealing with” one another in love? Think of our Savior…which did He choose? He could have chosen to “deal with” us from a distance and not humble himself to come to earth…but thankfully, He chose to “bear with us,” in spite of how unlovable we are. In light of His example, I hope we choose well.

January/February 2011

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LOVE REVOLUTION by Joyce Meyers provides readers with answers on how to revolutionize the world with love. FIREPROOF, the movie, is sure to captivate your attention. It presents a real and practical way to restore a marriage Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s way.

Empowered Magazine is published bi-monthly: Jan/Feb, Mar/Apr, May/Jun, Jul/Aug, Sep/Oct, Nov/Dec online and in print. Tess Rutherford, President/ CEO. Online subscriptions: Free. Printed subscriptions: $5. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. It is the mission of Empowered to provide a quality publication to enlighten, educate, and empower our readers to reach beyond themselves and soar by riding on the strength of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power. For submissions and orders contact us:

Empowered Magazine Address P.O. Box 10343, Peoria, IL 61612 Email editorial@empoweredmagonline.com Website http://empoweredmagonline.com

January/February 2011