Jan/Feb 2013

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Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

How to Be Happy Where You Are

A candid conversation with author, speaker, television co-host and singer, Michelle McKinney Hammond. page 16

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VOL3, NO 13 | JAN/FEB 2013

Content COVER STORY 16 How to Be Happy Where You Are

A candid conversation with author, speaker, television co-host and singer, Michelle McKinney Hammond. She talks about her book, How to Be Happy Where You Are, and provides honest guidance on how to be content while you wait for the fulfillment of God’s promises.

Interview By: Tess Rutherford

FEATURES 12 Dating Tips for the Christian Single

A no-limits interview with actor, writer, director, and producer Kel Mitchell and his wife, Asia Lee. The couple provides invaluable tips on Christian dating and shares how they were able to abstain from sex during their 3 year courtship.

Interview By: Tess Rutherford

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Mastering your Relationships Learn the keys to mastering your relationships by modeling after Christ’s relationship with us.

By: Jacequeline Harts

20 Are you a Faithful Friend?

Discover what it takes to be a faithful friend who “sticks closer than a brother”.

By: Melissa Drobnak 25 Lover Of Our Soul Cherish the most important relationship in your life - the one with Jesus Christ.

By: Nichole Beaver 15

Can we Just Love?

A poetic piece which seeks to leave behind all trivialities and pettiness a couple undergoes in a relationship and just love.

By: Nathaniel Tate

IN EVERY ISSUE: 8 Letter from CEO/Publisher: Tess Rutherford 10 Laughter for the Soul: Della Evans 9 Recipe 19 Spotlight Book Review 6 Readers’ Voice 3

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

CEO/Publisher Tess Rutherford

Editor Tina Mason - http://www.masonandmasonservices.com/

Graphic Artist Assistant Imari Rutherford

Writers

Della Evans

Laughter for the Soul: I Need To Wash My Hands, p. 10 She is a sister, aunt, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother who never meets a stranger. She has been naturally gifted to uplift people from sadness to

Melissa Drobnak

Are you a Faithful Friend?, p. 20 She is the Associate Campus Minister, Axiom Campus Ministry at University of Illinois who has an M.A. in Christian Education and an M.A. in Counseling. Contact her at melissadrobnak@gmail.com or http://forevergratefulone.tumblr.com/ 4

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Nathaniel Tate

Can We Just Love?, p. 15 He established a relationship with God at an early age. He is a part of the youth ministerial staff at Grace Covenant Christian Church. He uses poetry as a medium to reach the lost and show how God’s love relates to people’s lives. He receives inspiration from from the Harlem Renaissance poets. Email: poet.tate@gmail. com or facebook: Nate Notagame Tate

Nichole Beaver

Lover Of Our Soul, p. 25 While riding a mountain bike, she was hit by a car, but survived with minor bruises.

On many occassions,the Lord has spared her life. Whenever Nichole has an opportunity, she writes and testifies of Jesus. Visit her website at victoriousheartinternational.com.

Jacqueline Harts

Master your Relationships, p. 11 She is the author of Manna in the Morning, a daily devotional that has changed the lives of those seeking a word from God. Her compassion for people and her sensitivity to the hurting hearts of others gave her the desire to help alleviate emotional suffering. Email her at mrsjharts@roadrunner.com 5

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Readers’ VOICE

We Love To Hear From You! Empowered Magazine Empowered Magazine

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Letter from CEO/Publisher Tess Rutherford

20 Prayers for 13 Dear Lord, Photo by: Ben Geyer Photography

1.

Give us tranquility peace which surpasses knowledge.

against the enemy in the spiritual realm.

the ashes who will manifest your glory and not their own.

2.

Help us to be more committed to our promises to you.

11.

May we win more people over to Jesus than we did in 2012.

19.

Help us to remember that there is always an expiration date scheduled for our trials and tribulations.

3.

May we grope for you and yearn for your Word.

4.

Help us to love the unlovable.

12.

May we learn to accept the things that we cannot change and do not understand.

5.

May our spiritual candles burn brighter than they did in 2012.

13.

May we avoid blaming you for the tumultuous happenings in this world.

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Remove the scales from our eyes so that we may see your purpose for our lives more clearly.

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May our faith get us through the valleys and up the mountain top.

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Even though sin abounds, may your grace abound more.

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May we remember your former works and look forward to new deliverances.

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May we exercise mercy over judgment to those who need it the most.

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Help us to graduate from our infancy to a place of maturity

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Help us to move pass offenses and forgive.

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Grant us supernatural wisdom to help resolve some of the world’s problems.

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Empower us to wage war

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Help us to be greater spiritual risk takers and wiser stewards over our finances.

Tess

Raise up people out of

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One evening, Pearl and her daughter Ruby visited a church. Ruby persuaded her mother to go because her mother suffered from arthritis in the hands and they were conducting a healing revival. During worship service, Pearl got the Holy Ghost and began jumping and shouting and praising God. When the preacher saw this, he asked Pearl to come up to the front. Pearl reluctantly walked her way up front. The preacher took a long look at her and said, “Instead of me laying hands on you, I want you to lay hands on me.”

Immediately, Pearl’s eyes became fixed on the preacher’s jheri curl and the sweat dripping from

his forehead. The preacher hurriedly grabbed Pearl’s hands and laid it on his head. Afterward, Pearl’s hands began to shake profusely. The congregation started praising God because they thought her arthritis was miraculously healed.

Once Pearl returned to her seat, her daughter said, “Momma! The Good Lord has healed you??” Pearl replied, “Naah Ruby! My hands are shaking because they are in need of a washing right now. Come on…Let’s go to the bathroom!”

Handle your Emotions God’s Way! explores 52 negative human emotions and provides real life examples and biblical principles to controlling one’s emotions God’s way.

The book is available at Berean’s bookstore, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, tessrutherford.com and many other internet sites!

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Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Master your Relationships

By: Jacqueline Harts

During this time of year, we often come together with family and friends. Some engagements we will look forward to with much excitement, others we may attend more out of obligation and tradition. How can you ensure that all your relationships are rewarding?

It is very important that we master relationships because life is a series of relationships.

We are always in a relationship, whether we are at home, work, or church. Even in the grocery

store, we are engaged in relationship with fellow shoppers, and the clerk at the checkout stand. No matter, how brief the interaction, we can speak an encouraging word of life, that will have a positive impact on another person.

As my husband teaches in his customer service class, we all have an invisible sign around our necks that says “make me feel important.” At the very core of our being, that is what we truly desire. Offense happens when

someone takes us for granted or makes us feel less than.

To successfully fulfill these two things: your desire for a pleasurable relationship and the other person’s need to feel important, we have to shift our focus from self to other. When our goal is to see how we can add to the other person, instead of what we can get out of the relationship, we will experience more joy in our interactions with others.

“We all have an invisible sign around our necks that says ‘make me feel important’”

For a model of a perfect relationship, let’s look at the most important relationship of all, our relationship with Jesus. He does relationship better than anyone. Jesus forgives. He accepts people exactly where they are and He respects us enough to allow us to make our own decisions. Jesus loved us to the extent of giving His life to save us.

The basic foundation for any relationship is love. We must love the other person, just as God loves us. Upon that foundation we can build successful, healthy and rewarding relationships by showing respect, always forgiving, and by accepting people for who they are right at that moment. Let us be like Jesus, and accept people where they are, instead of trying to change them. When you try to change the other person, the underlying message is “you are not good enough.”

As we love, respect, forgive and accept our spouses, children, family members, friends, associates, etc., they will feel important and special. And as we continue to add to our relationships, they will become more pleasurable and valuable to us, because we are investing into others. May we be like Jesus, and do relationships well!

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Dating Tips for the Christian Single by: Kel & Asia Lee Mitchell Interview By: Tess Rutherford Kel Mitchell is an actor, comedian, dancer, musician, writer, and producer who starred in television shows like: Kenan & Kel and All That and the movie, Good Burger. Asia Lee Mitchell is a rap artist, songwriter, and designer. After three years of dating, the couple recently married January 2012. They are born again Christians with a genuine love for Jesus. Empowered Magazine had the awesome opportunity and pleasure to speak with them on the topics of celibacy and Christian dating. Read the interview immediately following to learn more:

Kel Mitchell (husband)

Asia Lee Mitchell (wife)

Empowered: How did the two of you meet?

We met at a show. Kel was hosting the show and I was performing. At that time, I had a clothing line and I really wanted him to wear some of my clothes so I approached him and asked if he was interested. He said he would love to wear some of my designs so our relationship spun off from there – on a business/professional level.

Empowered: When did you have an inkling that Kel was the one for you, and how is that the two of you could be just friends?

It took a little while for me to know that Kel was the one for me. Neither one of us were interested in each other because we were already in relationships, so being friends was easy. I can see how other people struggle with maintaining a platonic relationship with others of the opposite sex - especially if you start off with attraction. I can recall talking to Kel one night while I was getting ready to go on a dinner date. Out of nowhere, Kel says, “I don’t know why you are going on a date with that guy. You should be going out with me.” I was totally shocked not only

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by what he said but his directness caught me off guard. I asked, “Are you serious?” and his reply was yes. He began to elaborate, “You know I’ve been thinking…” And I am thinking to myself I am getting ready to go on a date…what am I supposed to do right now? I, then, told Kel we could talk about this further after I returned from my date.

Needless to say, the date turned out horribly. Once I returned home, Kel and I talked.

My purpose was to ensure that Kel was really ready for all that he was asking.

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

What is ironic about the situation is a few months prior, Kel and I hung out at a venue and rode the Ferris wheel together. While we rode the Ferris wheel, I experienced an overwhelming feeling where it felt like we were in a dating relationship. I didn’t mention it to Kel until our conversation that eve-

ning - after my date. It was during our Ferris wheel ride, I fell in love with Kel. Before we knew we had that feeling, God put it on the hearts of both of us. It is amazing to see how the hand of God moved in our lives during the preparation phase.

Empowered: So how is your relationship with Kel different from your past relationships?

Very different... He is a complete gentleman.

He has good upbringing, he is respectful, and God-fearing. When I first met him, I wasn’t saved and he played an instrumental role in leading me to the Lord. I always imagined what my husband would be like and Kel was and is exactly what I was hoping for. Even before I got saved, the Lord knew. God loved me so much that he gave me exactly what I wanted before I knew that this is what I wanted. I am thankful. I cannot imagine being with anybody else. While

we were friends, I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression because I understood how it is with celebrities and how girls just throw themselves at them. You can’t trust certain people because you don’t know what their motives are. When I introduced myself to Kel, I told him exactly what my motives were. I told him I would like to design clothing for him and that was it. There were no other underlining reasons for me wanting to meet with him.

Empowered: How did the two of you come to a consensus to wait until marriage before you engage in sexual intercourse?

After Asia Lee came to Christ and I was developing a stronger relationship with Christ getting rooted and grounded and staying in the Word. I had an evangelist that I would speak to over the phone everyday. She was like a mentor for me and Asia. She taught us how marriage should resemble Christ relationship with the church. And you wouldn’t defile the church and bring any type of sin in

there so I had to look at Asia like that. Sexual intimacy produces a spiritual tie. I had to handle my relationship with Asia different from how I handled my past relationships which means to be clean and pure. I said I love this woman and she is everything I’ve always wanted, so we decided to be celibate and not have sex until we were married.

Empowered: Was it challenging for the two of you, and how did you overcome the challenges?

It’s all about getting the proper education on it. We consulted with the evangelist on what we could and could not do. We had to constantly think about Christ. It takes time to know what it really takes to be pure. We had moments where we were embracing each other too long and we knew that we had to be strict on this. It takes time and it takes one being mature in the Lord to overcome.

It also takes the couple coming up with solu-

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tions on how not to arouse the situation. We took it back to our childhood years. What I mean by this is growing up as kids, we developed crushes but we were so young and innocent for sex to be a part of the equation.

So we modeled after the children during our courtship. We wanted to make the most of our friendship/relationship minus the sex.

We came up with other things to occupy our time such as movies, games, and talking.

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

I was attracted to her and she was attracted to me, and it was extremely difficult. Staying in the Word is key. We opted not to listen to certain music. We also avoided watching certain films – whether this was together or by ourselves. We primarily watched PG movies – movies we enjoyed as kids such as Back to the Future or Sixteen Candles. As a result, the relationship grew in such a profound way. So often we give ourselves away to people who know very little about us and it leaves us feeling empty in the end. Our ultimate goal should be to get to learn as much

as we can about our future spouses.

My guy friends would always say to me, I don’t know how you did that, and her girlfriends would say the same thing. But when you really think about the idea of “heavy petting”, you must look at it from the standpoint that every time you do something, you are going to want to push the envelope further the next time around. For me and Asia, our spirits made love first. I feel like I already knew her spirit; we just had to make it official.

Empowered: Since you’ve been married before, is there something sacred or special about taking time out to get to know one another?

This is a crucial element of the courtship.

I’ve come to understand that spending ample time together really getting to know the person inside - meet their family, get to know their thought process on certain things such as Christianity, get to know them as a person- their spirit- their fruit. Determine if they are who they claim to be, because a person’s true colors aren’t always revealed in the beginning stages of the dating peri-

od. We jump in the bed too quickly making ourselves vulnerable to HIV or pregnancy.

I most assuredly believe we need to take as much time as possible to get to know one another. And if you choose to marry after six months of dating, we really want to encourage pre-marital counseling. We do not recommend getting married without it.

Pre-marital counseling addresses a lot of things such as finances, children, family, and the decision making process. It covers things that the couples more than likely have not discussed. It really allows the couple the opportunity to talk about these issues to make sure they are on the same page – that they

are basing this marriage decision not just on love. There is nothing wrong with being in love but there’s a lot of things that come with marriage, and if one isn’t prepared to handle these things as a marital couple then those things will ultimately separate you.

Empowered: Why did the two of you wait three years before getting married?

Our friendship was so strong. We wanted to make sure we were making the right decision so we took things slow. This way if we decided that things were not going too well, there would not have been hard feelings. I even went so far as making Kel wait three months for a kiss. Kel found it romantic and intriguing. It took him back to the 50’s era where chivalry was alive and well.

We knew after a year we wanted to marry but we weren’t at a point of okay let’s do this. I wanted to meet his family and they wanted to meet me. He had already met my side of the family and now it was my turn.

After a year and a half of dating, we finally flew out to Chicago to meet Kel’s family. Six months after, Kel proposed and we got married within six months after that.

(Continue on Page 23)

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Can We Just L ve?

Can we just love?

I’m tired of the back-and-forth, Everyday arguing.

I apologize for what I did last week, And the missed opportunities to show care.

But I just want to Love, Better!

So... Can we just love?

Embrace one another, listen to emotions, let go of fears, Speak love with our actions, break down walls.

A better love: to the point that my heart hurts each moment without you, that I hear your thoughts, wipe away your silent tears.

Pull you close When you say “Leave me alone”.

If God has this love and we’re made in His image, then Can We Just Love?

-Nathaniel Tate

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Michelle M cK i n n e y Hammond is

an author of more than 24 books, an inspirational speaker, a regular featured television guest speaking on relationship topics, and she is a singer. Ms. Hammond is touching single women all across the globe with her “girlfriendin-your-living-room approach.�

Empowered Magazine had the pleasure of speaking with her about her latest book, How to Be Happy Where You Are.

How to Be Happy Where You Are Interview By: Tess Rutherford 16 Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Empowered: What were you seeking to accomplish in writing How to be happy where you are?

Michelle: It’s such an issue to find contentment and to be grateful where you are, and I thought it was important to address it because God wants us to be happy where we are. The trick of the enemy is to keep us in a constant state of… if I only had this or if this was in place… then my life would be better. We will never get to utopia until we go to heaven. In the meantime we are to find our fulfillment in God. Our joy is supposed to be full and not ruled by external circumstances or by what people decide to do to us. In analyzing my conversations with others, I was inspired to address this issue.

Empowered: Your book breaks down the account of the Shunamite woman in 2 Kings 4:8-17.

Can you give a brief synopsis of what the book is about and what attracted you to the Shunamite woman?

Michelle: Many years ago, the Lord woke me up for seven days straight to read the account of the Shunamite woman. The message that God was trying to

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deliver to me was that I was this woman. I was struggling with my own unfulfilled desires and God wanted to show me some things through this story. So basically, I shared what he shared with me during that time. And I learned that it was okay to be real with what you want and to acknowledge you want certain things. I began to share this message at women’s conferences and women were deeply touched by the message. My publisher happened to be at one of those conferences and advised me to share the information in a book.

Empowered: Why do people across the board struggle with being content with where they are? It’s not a matter of being complacent, but why do we struggle so much with being content?

Michelle: I think the enemy will attack us in an area that will dilute our worship…our capacity to worship God. If he can make us feel like God is withholding from us – that life is not good because God is not granting us the desires of our heart, he’s pretty much doing his job because that affects our capacity to worship God. We begin to ques-

tion him and his agenda for our lives and wonder if we will ever be happy because we don’t understand that being in the center of God’s will is where perfect joy and fulfillment is found. We get side-tracked by the tree we can’t touch. It is a common issue because God is a God of process and he is always using delays to stretch us, to grow our faith, and to deepen our character. If we understand that God is a God of process and it is working out for our good, we become a stronger people who look more like him.

Empowered: How can a person work to overcome unfulfillment?

Michelle: We all have our list.

For me personally, I am not married yet. There are things I have yet to accomplish in my ministry. As long as we are living on this earth, there will always be one more thing. It is okay to have desires but it is just as important that your desires don’t have you. Most people allow for their desires to rule them rather than to remain submitted to God. It is also equally important to be honest and say that I would like to have this, but I’m not going to die if I don’t have it.

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Empowered: How can you still feel content while at the same time reach for God’s best?

Michelle: God made us goal oriented people. So complacency is not what we’re talking about when we talk about fulfillment.

There are two different aspects of being satisfied while striving towards specific goals. I think it is important to know the difference. One must aim to find balance, love the life they are living, and be open to being challenged

by God to step it up or stretch in the area of their giftings.

Empowered: Please offer up encouraging words to the singles who feel deserted.

Michelle: It is important for us not to dictate to God when he should fulfill our expectation.

Expectations are in him and we have to trust his wisdom and his timing for our lives . If at any point we surrendered our lives and hearts to him, we have to trust him with that information to do the best thing. For example, If I gave a piece of fabric to a high end designer and told them to custom design a dress for me, yet I keep going back to them every five minutes telling them how to do it, where is the good in this?

The micro-management messes up the outfit because if you don’t allow people to do what they do, then you will receive mishmash.

If you hand something over to God, you should not continue going back to him saying no no no, you’re not doing this right or I don’t think you’re paying attention to me. Either you are going to trust him or you’re not? Is he good or not? Does he have good taste or not? Does he know what you need or want or not? These

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are questions one must settle with him/herself and then decide how you are going to deal with this information in light of what you want from God. Empowered: How do we know that our desires are in sync with God’s?

Michelle: If you have a desire, God gives us desires. Just because God doesn’t deliver them right away doesn’t mean you are not going to have them. Joseph had a dream. It took 30 years for the fulfillment of the dream, but it was a dream nevertheless. And it came to pass in the fullness of God’s timing and according to his purposes. It wasn’t about when Joseph wanted the dream fulfilled. While we are waiting, God is perfecting character, he is orchestrating things and positioning some people and we get hung up on asking the wrong questions. Your husband may not be in the position to be presented to you right now or vice-versa.

It is really important to walk with open hands saying to God I have given you this and I know this can be very challenging but this is why we live life daily -day by day. One day is going to be a good day where you really don’t care about having a husband because you have too many things on your plate to think about it, and then the next day, when you don’t have anything to do, you are going to think about what you don’t have. Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, think about what you do have on a day like that. We spend way too much time having an ungrateful attitude when we should be nurturing an attitude of gratitude for the opportunities life offers

us. It is almost like we are trying to manipulate God by saying I refuse to be happy until you give me this. I want you to be happy now so that somebody will be attracted to your happiness. Who wants somebody miserable and desperate? Men run from women who are like this.

Empowered: In all of your years of studying about singleness, what are some things you know for sure?

Michelle: There was a commercial that aired long ago where Paul Masson says, “We will sell no wine before its time.” And God is not going to do anything in your life before its time.

It is possible to be single and happy.

I know God wants us to be happy and whole people. He is determined to get us to that place where we are not depending on the attention and affection of anyone besides himself. When we are in that state, all of the desperation is gone and we are free to make better choices for

Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Empowered: What is next for you?

Michelle: More books and working on a television show in Ghana

depressed, paralyzed, and not doing much of anything. They are just singing the same song every time you see them.

Empowered: What are the prime behaviors that indicate we are being happy, joyful, and content where we are? And what are the indicators that tell us that we’re not?

Michelle: Happy people are productive and fruitful people. They are blessings to others. They are totally over themselves. It’s not just about them.

They are more kingdom-minded. They are flourishing in their relationships with God and others around them. They are seizing the day and making the most of every opportunity not just to be blessed but to be a blessing.

To connect with Ms. Hammond, you may follow her on Twitter: mckinneyhammond or Facebook: Michelle McKinney Hammond.

People who are not happy are very self-centered, ages women to look beyond their daily activities and accomplishments to find true and lasting happiness by focusing on God’s priorities.

Delving into the life of the Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4), Michelle reveals a compelling story of deep longing, miraculous fulfillment, fading dreams, and the realization that God’s provision never fails. In this thoughtful and enlightening book, readers will discover how to...

Bestselling author Michelle McKinney Hammond encour-

•

desires to come true • surrender their longings to God’s will and timing • keep their faith strong in times of loss • rest in the restorative power of worship • create a vibrant relationship with God that never wanes This engaging look at the life of the Shunammite woman offers women a refreshing opportunity to realize the happiness God has planned for them.

live in joy while waiting for

Got a compelling story? Empowered Magazine wants to hear from you. We are constantly looking for inspiring material. Send your story to editor@empoweredmagonline.com.

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Jan/Feb 2013 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

“Love one another,” “Encourage one another,” “Pray for one another,” “Serve one another,” and the list goes on. We are exhorted throughout Scripture to be devoted to “one another.” God created us to be in community, to be a family. What a beautiful gift to be a part of God’s family! And how sweet it is to find friends who feel like family, who “stick closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

“You’ll find out who your real friends are when you go through hard times.”

I imagine many of you have experienced the truth of this old saying as you have walked through challenging seasons in your life. Though we’d all like to believe we are surrounded by “real

friends,” sometimes when trials come, we don’t know how to be there for our friends, even when we love them. So, we remain silent and withdraw, for fear of saying the wrong thing or perhaps because we fear getting involved in the chaos and messiness of relationships. We walk away because of our fears instead of stepping in and trusting the Lord to use us to come alongside a hurting friend.

When I think of this quote about “real friends” and the image described in Scripture of “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” I think of one particular friend, who models the lyrics of the song entitled, “Faithful Friend,” co-written by Twila Paris and Steven Curtis Chapman. As the song-writers wrote the lyrics, what evolved was a picture about “Christian fellowship.”

“We walk away because of our fears instead of stepping in and trusting the Lord to use us to come alongside a hurting friend.”

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* Are you a friend who: As you read the excerpts from this song, ask yourself this question: “Could someone write this song about me”?

1.

Gives generously of your time?

FAITHFUL FRIEND

2.

Stands by others to the end?

3.

Prays with hope and believes in others?

4.

Encourages and inspires others?

By: Steven Curtis Chapman and Twila Paris “Everyone knows you as a man of honor I am glad to know you simply as a friend You’ve always taken time to be my brother And I’ll be standing by you in the end But I will never put you on a pedestal I thank the Lord for everything you do I’ll be there to pray for you and for the ones you love

5.

Empathizes with others in joy and sorrow?

* What is one way you can intentionally invest in someone’s life this year?

1.

Is there someone that needs encouragement? Why not send a card?

2.

Is there someone you can commit to pray for daily or weekly? What’s holding you back?

I will be your faithful friend.

3.

Is there someone who needs a ride to church? Why not be a servant to them?

God has used you greatly to encourage and inspire

4.

Sometimes the smallest act of kindness can turn someone’s day around and give them the hope they need to press on through life’s trials.

I believe that He will finish all He’s started in you I will be an open door that you can count on Anywhere you are, Anywhere you’ve been I will be an honest heart you can depend on

You’ve remained a true friend all the while Should it ever come your time to mourn, I will weep with you

“When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times...

This is forever friendship.” -Unknown As you reflect on the past year and prepare for 2013, I encourage you to pray about who the Lord has placed in your life that needs your faithful friendship.

There are few gifts as valuable as the gift of yourself, as a faithful friend.

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(Continued from Page 14) We sat down with our pastor and he told us how blessed we would be through legalizing our union because everybody thought we were married already. I had been married before. After the divorce, I swore I wouldn’t get married again but when I started growing closer to Christ, it was about me and him. It was the love I was searching for and

he, in turn, gave me the woman I had always wanted. When you are walking the Christian walk, certain women/men don’t appeal to you anymore. I became more aware of the messages women were giving off in their style and attire. But what separated Asia from other women was her spirit. Her spirit illuminated far brighter than the others.

Empowered: Saving yourselves for marriage… how has it impacted your marriage in a positive way?

The sexual intimacy we have is beyond comparable. I didn’t want to deflower her and it makes me proud knowing that we both honored God during our courtship. Because we decided to wait, it helped me immensely in the area of lust. The act of giving into temptation can destroy a relationship. I take my wife everywhere I go, as I travel. Even if she cannot be there physically, she is still with me. Women approach me all the time with

gestures; and I adamantly turn down their request, and enlighten them on my commitment to my wife. If you are not a strong Christian man, you would definitely give in to the temptations. I don’t have feelings for any other women besides my wife. My eyes don’t wander. If I see a beautiful woman, I am like, “Okay, God blessed her. Praise God.” and I move on.

The reality is you will be married to your husband or wife for a long time. The two of you will have more than enough time for sex. While dating, sex should be something that you look forward to post-legalizing the union. We pray together and go to church together. All these things bring us closer and closer together each day.

Because we consummated our union after the wedding, we learned how to control ourselves. We learned how to bring our lustful emotions under subjection of the Holy Spirit. All of this came about because we were determined to learn and not let our Lord down.

Kel’s latest project: Kel is starring in a CW Digital series called Stupid Hype.

Every Tuesday a new show will be added.

Check it out here-> http://cwtv.com/shows/stupid-hype

Connect with Kel: Facebook: Kel Mitchell Twitter: iamkelmitchell Website: http://www.KelMitchell.net/

Connect with Asia Lee: Facebook: Asia Lee Custom Shades Twitter: therealasialee Website: http://www.asialee.net

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The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love by Tim & Beverly LaHaye This updated and expanded edition gives a fresh informative edge to an already definitive book. New sections discuss ‘sex after sixty’ and five reasons why God created sex, all supported by the very latest findings in the fields of medicine and sociology. For engaged couples and newlyweds who want to make lovemaking a joy from the start . . . For couples who have been married for years and want to maintain the flame or rekindle the embers . . . for every husband or wife who wants to be a better lover -- here are the insights into each other’s bodies, psychosexual makeup, and need for tender, unselfish affection that can help you achieve your goal. With over 2.5 million copies in print, The Act of Marriage has helped thousands of Christian couples maximize their joy in sexual union and saved countless marriages. Pastors, doctors, and psychologists alike have endorsed the frank, practical

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In order to minister to others we need to first minister to Jesus as the Lover Of Our Soul.

Psalm 63:8 reads, “My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.” It is Jesus who strengthens us in our relationship with Him. However, worshipping Him is a choice, and if we choose Him, wonderful things will happen in His name. John 4:23 says, “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.” He seeks us! Praise the Lord; when we put Him first He will reciprocate – awesomely we can expect Him!

here on earth and knows how it goes. So why not allow Him to be your Best Friend?

By making Jesus your Best Friend and a Lover of your soul you are making a heart commitment to Him. He loves you! For 1 John 4:19 says, “We love Him because He first loved us.”

He shed His precious blood for our sins – we’re covered! Praise the Lord; repent if you need to.

He will make Himself known to you. Ah, glory to God; you’ll never be the same again.

Allow Jesus to come deep into your life.

All of your hurts, all of your pains, and daily troubles need His healing touch. For Isaiah 58:8 says, “Then your light shall break forth like the morning; your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.” Again, be implored to make Jesus your Best Friend. Allow His healing touch in your life.

“It is Jesus who strengthens us in our relationship with Him.” Yet so many believers do not put the Savior first in their lives and then wonder why other relationships are struggling in their life. While 1 Timothy 3:16 gives us some light, “And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifested in the flesh, Justified in the Spirit, Seen by angels, Preached among the Gentiles, Believed on in the world, Received up in glory.”

Jesus will walk with you as a Best Friend. He was

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Yet, the real homework begins with the special someone known as a husband or wife.

This relationship may be full of friction but it doesn’t have to be. Let Jesus in on this too. He is very supportive of marriage, for Mark 10:9 states, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” That means no matter what, Jesus

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is near to the relationship – let Him help. Galatians 5:14 says, “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

So, by loving your spouse you are fulfilling the words of the Bible.

You are doing the right thing.

However, some relationships, especially within the family require extraordinary care.

For these we call upon Jesus even more. Make Jesus the center of your life and He will come in with the needed superglue to make things work. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Wow, He will even be exalted in the nations and the earth – let alone our relationships when we are still and know He is God!! Yes, this is good news indeed.

Many of us have close friends outside the family sphere. Whether we know them from school or work or anoth-

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er type of social activity Jesus wants to be the center of our lives here too. So the verse in Proverbs 18:24 is fitting, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Jesus wants to be the one who sticks closer than a brother!

Praise the Lord He really wants to get to know us and who we are. Not all relationships are good though. If it causes us to sin and draw away from God we need to be careful and consider pruning the whole thing.

By pruning, I mean gently saying, “No.” Some things are simply not meant for Christians to do and if the ‘friend’ is always running to the world you do not have to go with them. Instead say “No” gently and go to your prayer closet and pray for their very soul. God will see you as it says in Matthew 6:6, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Fa-

ther who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”

Ah, Hallelujah this is the Spirit of Revival. Allow God into the middle of your everyday life.

Finally, I simply call upon Jesus as my ‘first husband’ because He is and always will be.

Since Isaiah 62:3 reads, “You shall also be a crown of glory In the hand of the LORD, And a royal diadem In the hand of your God.” More than anything I want Jesus to take pleasure in His servant. Ah, yes I want to know Him. I want and yes long to be intimately acquainted with Him. I love what Deuteronomy 4:24 says, “For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.” God will interrupt your life with fire when He sees fit. I pray you grasp today that Jesus loves you and always will.

Make Him your Best Friend, the Lover of your soul, and cry to Him as Abba Father! Amen.

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Empowered Magazine is published bi-monthly: Jan/Feb, Mar/Apr, May/Jun, Jul/Aug, Sep/Oct, Nov/Dec online and in print. Tess Rutherford, President/CEO. Online subscriptions: Free. Printed subscriptions: $5 - $8. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

It is the mission of Empowered to provide a quality publication to enlighten, educate, and empower our readers to reach beyond themselves and soar by riding on the strength of God’s power.

For submissions and orders contact us: Empowered Magazine Address P.O. Box 882416, San Diego, CA 92168 Email editor@empoweredmagonline.com Website http://empoweredmagonline.com

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