May/Jun 2011 by Tess Rutherford

May/Jun 2011 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

CEO/Publisher Tess Rutherford

Editor Tina Mason - http://www.masonandmasonservices.com/

Photographer Ben Geyer - http://www.flickr.com/photos/geyerba/

Graphic Artist Assistant Imari Rutherford

Writers bfullah77@gmail.com

http://thedeborahcompany.weebly.com

Calling All Fathers!, page 16

thedeborahcompany-kristen@yahoo.com Parenting After Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own Heart, page 19

Bruce Fullah

camjus04@gmail.com

Laughter for the Soul: I got Jesus in my

The Gift, page 8

soul!, page 11

Jacobi Perry

Kristen Newsome

Della Evans

May/Jun 2011 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

VOL. 1, NO 1 | JAN/FEB 2011 VOL1, NO 3 | MAY/JUN 2011

Content Contents COVER STORY 12 God Gave purpose to my Dreadful Past!

Be encouraged by the story of a woman who went through all sorts of severe difficulties to find her way to Christ. Interview By: Tess Rutherford

FEATURES 16 Calling All Fathers!

A clarion call to all fathers to take their rightful position as commissioned by the Lord. By: Bruce Fullah

Parenting After God’s own Heart Discover how parental love given unconditionally can have a positive impact on a child’s relationship with God. By: Kristen Newsome

The Gift A loving poem about the precious gift of a baby. By: Jacobi Perry

IN EVERY ISSUE: 6 11 10

Tess: Letter from CEO/Publisher

21 5

Featured Book Review: Demetria Williams

Laughter for the Soul: By: Della Evans Delicious Recipe Courtesy of Kristen Newsome Readers’ Voice

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Readersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; VOICE

We Love To Hear From You!

I am so proud of you cuzo!!! Great job, inspiring articles, and Empowering!!! I shared the link on my page!:) Ozara Ode, Atlanta, GA

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Letter from CEO/Publisher Tess Rutherford

This is a time in my life where I am literally starting over. In doing so, I have had to let go of a lot of things from relationships to material possessions. One of the most difficult transitions in the workplace is change – a new way of doing things. We are comfortable with the status quo. We can maintain our routines and continue business as “normal.” But when our processes (way of doing things) start to shift, we assume the world is coming to an end. As people of God, we must become immune to change. Better yet, we must always be ready and prepared for it. The truth is our God is a God of change. Though His character and ways never change (Malachi 3:6), His methods (way of doing things) do! In other words, we cannot expect the Lord to bless us the same way He did five years ago. As we grow with the Lord, our faith should mature. A person with matured faith does not spend their wheels trying to figure out ‘how’ God is going to work; instead they sit back, relax, and watch God perform His miraculous wonder. God likes to surprise His people beyond their imagination because He wants us to know that it is Him working things out and not man. Before God works His spiritual miracle though, He prepares us. He wants us to be ready for whatever it is coming our way, and many times the Lord will implement change in our camp. This may involve us losing things; because the fact is all of our earthly things are just that – earthly things. When we leave this earth, our things will remain with the earth, grow old with the earth, and be destroyed with the earth. With this being said, we must avoid being caught up in things –

money, cars, houses, and jobs. When we are open to change, we will freely let go of whatever God is prompting us to let go of. God has reasons for allowing various events to happen. Welcoming and embracing these changes are a signal to God that we are ready to go up a little higher in Him. If you recollect the story of Job, he was a man who literally had it all but almost overnight everything had been taken away – his family, servants, riches, and health. But Job finally came to terms with the drastic change occurring in his life and said in Job 14:14 (NKJV), “All the days of my hard service I will wait; till my change comes.” And shortly after Job accepted the change, he ultimately received back all that he had lost plus some! It is critically important that we focus on the Master’s business. Our reluctance and rebellion to the voice of God merely get in the way of what He is trying to accomplish. My encouragement to you is to be willing to go where the wind is blowing. If God is telling you to let go, just release the thing you are holding onto and do not ask any questions. If you want God to do something new in your life, you must heed to the Change Manager. God so desperately wants to take you places you have never been and give you the desires of your heart, but you cannot allow your fears and anxieties to hinder you from receiving. God has great and mighty things in store for us all, but nothing comes without pain, suffering, or loss. Take some time and grant the Lord permission to execute change in your life. A godly change is guaranteed to reap significant benefits, not only in your own life but in the lives of others as well.

Tess

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A seed that was planted I call you beloved A gift that was granted From the man above A bond that was formed inside my womb A love that was free A flower that bloomed I fell in love The first day we met A beautiful face I will never forget A small part of our family tree Who stole my heart instantly? A love unconditional An existence so bright A love that is pure God gave you life Overwhelmed with gratitude For the gift Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve received A love with great magnitude A joy guaranteed A permanent love a beautiful part of me? A feeling fulfilled So precious and sweet A joy that I greet A reason to smile You are the gift I call you my child.

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There is a small church located way down deep in the south - on the country side of town. Because of the church’s remote location, there was never a reason to close the doors completely. One Sunday morning, the pastor was eager and ready to preach the message which the Lord had given him, and the congregation sat anxiously waiting to hear the sermon. The younger church members were at their best behavior, praying it would be a short sermon. Sitting there on the pulpit, the pastor rose to deliver his much anticipated sermon. He opened his message with a lyrical proclamation, “I got Jesus in my soul!!” Again and again the pastor repeated the saying in a loud, resounding tone as he beat his fist on the pulpit. What the pastor didn’t know was that wasps had secretly built their

nest while the congregants were away. So as the pastor beat harder on the pulpit singing, “I got Jesus in my soul!” a swarm of wasps came out of their nest to see what the ruckus was all about. They noticed lots of activity coming from the pastor’s legs as he jumped around to emphasize his sermon; so down they went to the entrance of the pastor’s trousers and up they went to tranquilize the activity. Suddenly, the pastor changed his tune. He started to yell, “I got Jesus in my soul but the devil is in my behind!!” And off he ran outside of the church to get some sense of relief. The children all thought this was an exciting way for the pastor to shorten his sermon, and they all jumped up and shouted, “Amen!”, as they gleefully ran outside to wait for lunch to be served.

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God Gave purpose to my dreadful past! Interview By: Tess Rutherford

arcie is one of the senior level consultants at Mary Kay, driving the enviable Mary Kay car. She brightens the eye with her enchanting beauty but above all she has a remarkable love affair going on with Jesus Christ. There is â&#x20AC;&#x153;more than meets the eyeâ&#x20AC;? with Marcie. As a child, she was violated by three men of whom she should have trusted. And if things could not have been worse, she suffered both physical and verbal abuse in her marriage. In spite of the trials and tribulations, God has raised Marcie up to a level of triumph. Everyday, He manages to transform her character more into the image of Jesus.

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began to spend time with one another. The truck driver was oblivious to Marcie’s age. He simply believed that she was 18 as she had told him. At 14, Marcie had gotten pregnant by the truck driver. When she finally mustered enough courage to tell him, he gave her an ultima Marcie admits to being tum – either she raise the child a rebellious child and having a alone without a father or the promiscuous lifestyle. Sneak- two of them can marry and the ing out of the house late in the child will have the luxury of both night and doing drugs are just parents. To avoid her children a few of the activities she would going through similar events engage in -- not to mention there as she underwent, Marcie went was devil worshipping going on to Las Vegas and got married. in the household. Marcie’s mom From the start of the marriage, decided to send her to live with Marcie felt she had little control. her dad for a while, but things She was completely dependent ultimately grew worse. Marcie’s on her husband, and that was new-found freedom enabled her how he wanted her to be. Marto live life without boundaries. cie began attending cosmetology school. This new independence After feeling a bit vio- only sparked jealousy in her hus Marcie was no stranger lated in an encounter with her band. He would remind her conto church. She was raised in a father, Marcie quickly decidtinuously about how much she southern Baptist church. Her ed to execute her escape. She had ruined his life. He would tell grandmother was known as the found herself running, trying to her she was nothing without him spiritual pillar in the family. pull herself up from the downand that she did not have any Marcie can recall how desper- ward spiral. Before long, Marfriends. Assuming and hoping ately she wanted to make that cie moved again. This time, she that things would get better was intrepid trip to the altar but she went to live with her stepfather. simply an imagined thought. did not feel worthy enough. She Marcie was placed in a dubious Marcie’s husband would curse did not feel as though she de- position yet again. She said her her, follow her, verbally abuse served the church. She did not stepfather commented about her her, and destroy furniture in the have a disregard for God; she promiscuous lifestyle by saying house. But God sent a Christian had a sense that He was so much to her, “If you want to have sex, couple Marcie’s way who had greater and bigger than her I would gladly do it so that you given her a marble to hold onto. imagination, and that self-de- won’t become pregnant.” Marcie Whenever she was in trouble, feating way of religious thinking remembers seeing her stepfather they encouraged Marcie to nomade her believe that she did not lie in bed, without clothes, while tify them. Later, Marcie inter“fit the bill.” She felt as though leaving the door open. Soon, preted this to mean that God she had to earn Jesus’ love, just Marcie’s mother moved back was with her even during her as she had felt she needed to do in and all inappropriate behavdarkest of hours. After her huswith her mom. While attending ior from her stepfather ceased. band threatened her by putting the church, she remembers one Not only did Marcie have a gun to her head, Marcie had of the male members of the conthe mannerisms of an adult but determined enough is enough; gregation taking her shopping she had the look as well. At the therefore she phoned the police, regularly. This layman would age of thirteen, Marcie met a 27 but they did not do anything to lavish young Marcie with beauyear old truck driver. The two of resolve the domestic dispute. tiful clothes. However, behind them exchanged numbers and Marcie was quickly reminded 13 May/Jun 2011 | http://empoweredmagonline.com Marcie was raised in a single family home. Her father would waltz in and out of the family’s life. As the oldest daughter, Marcie was propelled to take on greater responsibilities in the household. Her family was constantly moving around, which was one of the contributing factors to the unstable environment. Growing up, Marcie would identify herself as the black sheep. She felt like an outcast, ostracized, and worst of all she did not feel loved. She felt like she could never do anything right in her mother’s eyes and the only way she could receive love was through her works or achievements. Never did she feel encouraged to work on her weaknesses; she was simply shunned, and Marcie did not know what to say or do to make things right.

the gifts, there was an ulterior motive. This man expected to receive something from Marcie in return. Therefore, he took advantage of Marcie during every outing. Marcie attempted to tell her mother about the incident, but neither she nor anyone else seemed to believe her.

of the marble and called the Christian couple to rescue her and the kids.

how to fight for her three girls and get them back. Marcie’s mom had been in contact with a Mary Kay consultant. The two of them had been praying for Marcie and they unanimously decided that Marcie would be better off living with the consultant.

of Christ. He posed the question to the audience, “What is it in your life that you are holding onto?” It really dawned on Mar Marcie managed to obtain cie that she had literally lost evher GED; however, the family erything – had nothing to give or was still struggling a great deal offer but she sensed God’s spirit financially. Her husband had pulling her towards Him. God’s the car repossessed which left spirit was saying come to Me; her without transportation. To you are Mine and have always avoid overburdening the Chrisbeen Mine. At that moment, tian couple, Marcie’s only option she accepted the Lord as her was to move in with her mother personal Savior. God began to in-law and father in-law. Unforshow her how to be authentic to tunately, her husband was living herself and gave her the freedom there as well. While he had her to remove the walls she camped alone, he took it upon himself around herself. She developed to rape her. He raped her twice a greater hunger and thirst for and the third time she contactGod’s Word. She started pared the authorities. She and the ticipating in a women’s prayer children were placed in a womgroup – Mothers in Touch. The en’s shelter. Unfortunately, the women prayed for Marcie to kids were infected with chicken Living with the consulpox and the shelter did not allow tant provided every sense of nor- gain custody of her kids once residents with contagious dis- malcy that Marcie needed. Mar- more. God empowered Marcie eases. The court then granted cie knew she was in the hands not to depend on man but rathtemporary custody of the kids of a remarkable beautiful, godly er to depend on Him to work to the husband while Marcie re- woman. The whole environ- things out in accordance to His mained in the women’s shelter. ment was so much different than good. She had an opportunity At the age of 19, Marcie’s time at what she was used to and it was to see her girls one to two times the shelter had expired and she very attractive to Marcie. It was a year. During one visit, Marcie was soon released back into the mandatory for Marcie to attend knew God had gone before her world on her own. At the time, church and she discovered that to pave the way. She had to be Marcie felt as though she could she slowly began to turn away reminded that she was the child not face her three girls because from her wrongdoings. It was as of the King. The Lord had been she thought she had let them if the Lord put the hammer down working with Marcie on lovdown. Marcie had exhausted and said to Marcie, “Now is the ing her ex-husband and releasall of her resources and did not time for transformation!” Soon ing herself from any hatred or have any job prospects so she Marcie graduated from school resentment towards him. On decided to move from Illinois and desperately wanted to main- the bus ride to Illinois, Marcie back to her hometown in Califor- tain her distance from men. believed she had an encounter nia. She moved in with her mom Marcie became very involved with an angel. A photographer who really did not have enough with productive activities which she met on the bus was speaking space. Marcie had made up in helped her to remain focused. things over her life that nobody knew about but God. He gave her mind that she wasn’t going On one memorable event her a cross as a symbol of her to be used as a scapegoat for in Marcie’s life, she was volun- faith and warned her not to go bad things happening any lonteering with serving food for a as a victim but as a new woman ger. She went to a trade school Christian conference that the in Christ. She knew deep withfor computerized accounting. church was hosting. The speak- in that she was fully equipped She figured an education would er was preaching about the love to handle what was before her. give her the means and know 14 May/Jun 2011 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

The children were so enthusiastic about their mother being there that they earnestly worked to try to secure a job for her. After Marcie returned to California, she discovered that the kids had gotten her a job. Marcie could not believe it. She so desperately wanted to fulfill God’s will, and the Lord began to show her that Illinois was her new mission’s field. She knew it was time for her to move closer to the kids. Marcie moved back to Illinois and started attending a college and career group, and this is where she met her soon to be husband. She did not want to introduce him to the kids until she was absolutely sure. Marcie

had a chance to see the man’s heart and she could see herself being a loving and supportive wife to him. Her future husband was willing to not only accept her, but he welcomed the girls too, and that really softened Marcie’s heart towards him. Before long the two of them married. Although, they had to undergo major adjustments in the beginning of their marriage, God’s grace helped them through it. Marcie still did not have full custody of her girls but her ex-husband’s girlfriend played a key role in making it happen. With her exhusband in rehab once again and the girlfriend’s unwillingness to raise the kids, the court gave the

kids the option to choose where they wanted to go. Glory be to the Father, they chose Marcie! Daily, the Lord continues to help Marcie in her relationship towards her kids and her parents. To see where God has taken her from and where He has taken her to has been quite a journey. She says if she had to go back she would not change a bit. These experiences merely made her a greater influence in building the kingdom of God. She went through these experiences to provide a helping hand for others. “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony.” Revelations 12:11 (KJV).

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Emergency, emergency! Calling all fathers! Unfortunately, for most of you who just read the first five words of this article, no explanation is needed to decode the message behind the call. Most of us, upon reading just the first five words intently sense and anticipate the article’s direction. For others, the urgent relevance of this topic echoed in your souls even after just reading the title. What am I saying? By experience, exposure or association, we are all made painfully aware of the absence of fathers in the lives of many young people today. Although, we may not take the time to trace the adverse effects of a father’s absence back to ourselves or the lives of loved ones, we sense the void. Every now and then, for those who have personal experience, experience itself teaches you through hardship, or trial and error that you needed your father. You somehow sense that your shortfalls, and bruises and bumps inherited from life had the secret to their prevention somewhere locked up in the heart of your father. I can

recall financial pitfalls, relationship turmoil, and other life frustrations that I somehow knew that if my dad just taught, or disciplined me earlier I would have surely avoided their pain and consequences. Many adults still carry similar speculations. Some, having already taken on the role of fathers themselves are destined to continue the cycle; they abort mission. Their lack of development fuels their lack of responsibility and commitment. In the book of Malachi 4:5-6, the prophet speaks of God the Father preparing the earth for the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. In preparation he promises to send Elijah the Prophet, whom he specifically says will “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” That’s heavy stuff. In fact, this is a pretty heavy passage; much too heavy to completely attempt to dissect here. Let’s focus on God’s preparation of the earth for his return. We notice that Malachi says Elijah will turn the heart of

the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers. This helps us to safely assume that there was apparently a breach in the hearts of the fathers and children, or between the generations of peoples. God was clearly not pleased with this breach. In fact, he was so displeased that he ended the old testament with the threat of smiting the earth with a curse it if wasn’t fixed! God made a pretty big deal about the importance of fathers connecting with their children, now it’s time that fathers make it a big deal. Was the disconnect between the father-child relationship the only thing bothering God? Certainly not, but it did seem to be what God viewed as the underlying cause of the gross symptoms of sin that ran rampant throughout the society in those days. It’s no different now. We see these same symptoms all around us. They manifest themselves in angry, misguided and misdirected children who grow into counter-productive members of society. We see youths who long for acceptance and

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approval fall prey to gang associations, and senseless violence. These youths yearn to belong to a family. They long to congregate under the banner of a worthy name. They long for their fathers. Absent fathers often don’t understand the impact of their absence. For those who need a hip-pocket class on that impact, just visit the projects or inner city streets; oh and you might want to watch your hip pockets before some young misguided youth adds a notch to his manhood by subtracting from your savings. Not to be confused, there are plenty of good kids out there, but there are enough hurting and misguided ones to be concerned many times over.

Dads, take your positions! If you haven’t spoken to your children, go connect with them. If you haven’t told them you love them, go do it now. If you don’t know where they are, go find them! Prioritize your relationship with your children over your own pursuits; understand your betterment and that a man is the key to the betterment of their future. Our future depends on it. If you’re giving financial support, good; but giving of yourself is greater. I challenge dads everywhere to challenge dads everywhere to get involved, and then get more involved with your children. They will love you forever for it, and God will lift the curse and the breach that has This subject can’t be contained in this arti- prevented the intergenerational flow of His blesscle. It’s just too big! The problem is too big. There ings for too long. Get involved, stay involved! is nothing left to say or do but to “Call All Fathers.”

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As parents of a 24 year old son and 18 year old daughter, my husband and I have learned our share of lessons when it comes to spirit led parenting, and we are still learning! If I could summarize one of the most impactful lessons we have learned, I would have to say that it would be this; we must be sure that our children understand that they are loved by God—unconditionally; and in our relationship, our children must also know (by what they experience through our parenting) that they are loved and accepted by us unconditionally. Unconditional love is something that we can only give when we ourselves have experienced it, and it comes from our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. This type of love is without conditions, without expectation, and is given liberally regardless of the actions or character qualities of others. For this reason, it is easy to understand why parenting is often cited as the most important job one will ever have! I believe that there is a deception that parents some-

times fall into that prevents their children from experiencing unconditional love from them and negatively impacts the way their children experience God. When parents project their expectations and personal dreams onto their children, it sometimes causes the children to feel that they must earn their parents’ love and approval by fulfilling these expectations. The world’s culture teaches us that children are an “extension” of ourselves and that what they do or become, good or bad, is a direct reflection on us as parents. Such thinking is evident when you look at the antics of “Tiger Moms” hard charging their children to succeed in school, sports and other endeavors at any cost, and “Pageant Parents” exploiting their children’s physical appearance and charm for a trophy and cash on reality TV. This sort of pressure can cause even Christian parents to lose perspective; we condone having the sort of expectations that are good in our eyes—our son will one day take over our ministry, our daughter will be a teacher just like mom,

son will follow in Dad’s footprints and become an M.D. too… the list can go on! As parents, of course, we desire good things for our children, as we should, just as God desires good things for His children. However, the first expectation for our children must be that they know God and accept Christ into their hearts, with the evidence of a changed life. We must remember the purpose for which God told us to be fruitful and multiply, that is, so that our children may one day bring glory to God with their lives; it really is not about bringing glory to us as parents! Why is it so important to overcome that cultural mindset to make our children earn our love and approval and make it obedient to Christ? Because parental love is the first love a child experiences and understands. In fact, parental love is often the means by which a child actually opens him or herself to God’s love and comes to understand it early in life. How we represent Him through our parental love has serious repercussions on our children’s ability to develop their

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They look at their sinful past and can’t imagine that they are forgiven for it all, at no cost except to receive the free gift of salvation that Jesus Christ made possible. As we know better, we must do better. God is looking for parents after His own heart who can demonstrate His love and grace to a generation in such a way as to prepare them to receive His son into their hearts and be His own. So as we see, it is God’s will that we parent our children in such a way that they are prepared to experience His love. No matter where you are with your children, especially if they have felt that they can never do enough to earn your love or approval, the most important thing to do today is to confess and repent for your mistakes, ask God to show you

word declares in 1 John 4:16, humility and repentance, and I “We have known and believed have personally seen the hardest the love that God has for us. God of hearts softened and opened up is love, and he who abides in love when parents speak with sincerity, abides in God, and God in Him.” humility and love with their chilDeclare that you and your child dren, and then change their actions. abide in love, and that nothing can or will separate either of you from God’s love (Romans 8:39). Pray for God’s love to penetrate your child’s heart, as well as for your love to be perceived and received by them. No matter how challenging this feels, don’t give up on resisting the devil’s lies by speaking God’s truth. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or how old they are, God can restore all things, even missed opportunities in relationships. James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all

God is looking for parents after His own heart who can demonstrate His love and grace to a generation in such a way as to prepare them to receive His son into their hearts and be His own. what you can do to communicate love to your child—in the way they can receive it. If you have been tormented by feelings of guilt or failure in this area, confess your thoughts to God, pray about it, put it in God’s hands and then stand up and proclaim the truth. This is truth: you are capable of loving your child unconditionally, and the enemy will no longer have a foothold in your relationship with your child because they do not feel loved. God’s

If you are having success in this area, and your children are secure in knowing the love of their Heavenly Father and are secure and stabilized in their relationship with their parents, please remember to be aware of those around you who are struggling. So many parents are frustrated and becoming hopeless in how to reach their children. Be willing to take the time to listen to them, as the Holy Spirit leads you, share your testimony of how God repaired or strengthened your relationship with your child, teen or your adult child. Be transparent and real; people need to know they are not alone and your testimony can inspire hope for their situation. Hope is a powerful weapon, but when we really need victory in our relationships, we must always remember this: LOVE NEVER FAILS! (1 Corinthians 13:8)

liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” After praying for God’s wisdom, be encouraged to go to your child if you know you have not communicated love to them the way they may have needed it in the past. Create a new start by asking for forgiveness for missing this opportunity in their life and for any pain it has caused them. So much that causes distance between parents

May/Jun 2011 | http://empoweredmagonline.com

Product Review About Author Demetria Williams is a loving mom of four beautiful children. She lives in central Illinois and is earning her Associate of Arts degree at Richland College. Upon graduation, she plans to continue her studies toward a Bachelor’s degree. Demetria writes poetry and holds speaking engagements in her hometown. She invites you to drop her a line at demetricwilliams31@yahoo.com.

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Handle your Emotions God’s Way! is available at Berean’s bookstore, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and many other internet sites!

Empowered Magazine is published bi-monthly: Jan/Feb, Mar/Apr, May/Jun, Jul/Aug, Sep/Oct, Nov/Dec online and in print. Tess Rutherford, President/ CEO. Online subscriptions: Free. Printed subscriptions: $5. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. It is the mission of Empowered to provide a quality publication to enlighten, educate, and empower our readers to reach beyond themselves and soar by riding on the strength of God’s power. For submissions and orders contact us:

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