Finding FA on the Frontier

In May 2019, I was an average-looking Southern woman by day but a raging bulimic by night. In my disease, I ate uncontrollably for hours every night, inappropriately releasing most of those calories, then collapsing in bed about midnight -- only to wake up the next morning resolving to end the insanity ... somehow. During those dark escapades, I was in a state of sheer desperation looking for a solution, often turning to the internet because I was the epitome of a suffering food addict who was losing a 45-year battle with an eating disorder. Of all the searches, Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) stood out from the rest.

I decided to call the FA office in Massachusetts for more information. I listened while a woman explained the FA program. I remember asking her to explain what the phrase “in recovery” meant because I erroneously assumed one had to be recovered to join. She assured me that was not the case, encouraged me to try FA, then offered me the name and phone number of a potential sponsor. I had to call three more people before I finally spoke to my first sponsor. We talked on the phone a long time, then she asked when I would like to start the program. I answered with another question, "Tomorrow?" because I honestly did not know if FA would work for me. After we hung up, I immediately drove to a local store and purchased a digital kitchen scale and foods that would work in the suggested food plan. Thus, my journey began on Friday, May 24, 2019.

Since I live on the FA frontier, most of my learning has been over the phone during my daily sponsor calls. The first tool I learned was abstinence, followed by telephone (thanks to my first three contacts), then quiet time. About a month later, I stepped out of my comfort zone and drove two hours to my first face-to-face FA meeting. While there, I purchased three books and added new tools to my FA “toolbelt.” (Additionally, my contact list multiplied that day as well.) My sponsor suggested I pack my lunch, and that day I enjoyed eating with people who identified themselves as food addicts, too. It was a wonderful experience, one I wished I could repeat frequently, but it just was not practical for me.

My willingness to go to any lengths was put to the test when my sponsor suggested I attend three local Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings per week. I must admit I balked, for I had erroneously stereotyped alcoholics as people who do more harm than good. It took a couple weeks to find meetings that fit my schedule, then another week or so to gather enough courage to walk into an AA room. As I reminisce about that first meeting, I chuckle because I was handed a half sheet of laminated paper to read. Being a Southern lady, I politely read it then kindly returned it to the leader. Little did I know she was expecting me to read the guidelines of the meeting aloud to the group! Now who was the one who made the worst first impression? lol!!! What friendships, lessons, and memories were made in those rooms. I owe a great debt to AA.

Since my 'bottom' was very low, I visualize my recovery as an upward climb. Personal abstinence is a miracle and a gift which I highly treasure. Though my FA story is atypical in many, many ways, I firmly believe FA saved my life! I've reconnected to my Higher Power (God) and found new strength in my fellows. I hone the FA tools every day and diligently work the 12 steps. This has been and continues to be an incredible journey, all done on the FA frontier. Today, I live as a food addict IN RECOVERY in the upstate of South Carolina.