Giving Up Control

Our eight-year-old son was having minor laparoscopic surgery. My husband took the entire day off from work; I planned to miss my committed Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) meeting and I had rescheduled my morning call to my sponsor. The night before the surgery, our son was nervous, and no one slept well except our seven-year-old daughter.

We got up early the next day to make sure we got to the hospital on time. It had snowed overnight, and we knew that traffic would be bad going into the city. Before we left, I got on my knees to ask God for help with the day and I made sure to get my quiet time in. I ate the breakfast I had committed the night before, and I grabbed my packed lunch. We dropped our daughter off at a friend’s house and headed out in the snow to the hospital.

The surgery went well, and faster than we thought. The nurses helped my son wake up and readjust, and before lunchtime we were on our way home. I hadn’t needed the weighed and measured meal I brought to the hospital, but I told my husband that having lunch would be my priority when we got home.

It was a surreal day. At times, I felt like a robot, just going through the motions. The three of us were so tired by the time we got home, we dozed on the couch and watched a movie in the afternoon.

We had put our son’s life into God’s hands during the surgery. What an amazing way to invite God into our lives and trust God with the outcome instead of trying to control the situation. Before FA, I would have made the day about me (stopping to get a sweetened caffeine drink and fast food breakfast on the way to the hospital, then eating from the vending machines once we got there). I would have tried to control everything - where to park the car, which waiting room to sit in, etc. I would have been short with my husband and might have even yelled at him when things weren’t done my way. Instead, I was able to be fully present for my son and my husband. Before the surgery, I played a skateboard game with my son which made him laugh and after the surgery, I cracked jokes to lighten the mood (until he asked me to stop because laughing made his belly hurt).

I managed to put my recovery first, my family second, give up control and trust God.