Truth Be Told

My 13-year-old son was recently caught in a rather elaborate lie. As an addict, this is something with which I have a bit of experience. Instead of yelling and screaming, something pre-program mom would have done, I calmly asked, “I bet that has been really hard to carry around with you all this time, huh?” With tears rolling down his cheeks, he nodded in agreement.

We talked about how important honesty is in all our relationships, especially in our family. I said, “I know how hard it is to lie to people who love you,” and thought it was a good time to share a story about a time when I was dishonest with him.

“Buddy, do you remember when you used to wonder what happened to your leftover dessert that you would bring home from a restaurant? Well, I was lying to you when I said you had forgotten it. The truth is, I would eat it after you went to sleep.”

He turned and looked at me with his big, brown eyes, cracked a crooked smile, and announced, “Mom, you really sucked!”

After the initial shock, followed by hysterical laughter, I told him he was 100% correct! When I am in my disease, I am selfish, distant, and dishonest—all pretty sucky qualities. This disease of food addiction also sucks. It sucks the joy, connection, and love right out of my life.

With the tools of this program and by working the Twelve Steps, I do not have to live like that anymore. I can show up, feel the feelings, and live a life of integrity. So now, when I get on my knees each morning, I not only ask God for an abstinent day, but also for the strength and guidance not to suck.