Floreat Castellum Settling In Issue • Michaelmas 2018
CONTENTS Editor's Letter ...2 Meet the Exec! Castle Sports and Socs
Castle Environment Committee The Ballad of the Brown Plague
...3-4 ...5 ...6
...7-8
Castle Theatre Company’s Tour
...9-10
Ask Oshy: Our very own Agony Aunt
...11-12
Castle Goss ...13
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editor's letter November 2018
Hello to all! To those who have just joined our lovely college, welcome; for those who know exactly what to expect from this mag, welcome back! We hope your first half of term (back) in the bubble have been jam packed with banter, debauchery and toasties. Your very own college magazine is back to keep you up to date with all the college antics you’ve been waiting to get the inside info on. In this issue, we’re going to be reflecting on the term thus far, all Castle has to offer on the society front and exposing your ‘controversial comments’. Also our very own Agony Aunt, Oshy Ray, will be helping answer your most pressing queries with her mature final year perspective (lol). Finally, the infamous Gossip Girl is BACK with juicier, more outrageous gossip - if you can decode the writing. It was fantastic to get so many subscribers to the Floreat mailing list this year. We’re so thankful to everyone who has contributed any form of article or artwork for this issue - we really couldn't have done any of it without you. This magazine is made by students for students, and it’s absolutely fantastic that we can continue this tradition. Until the next issue! Floreat Castellum xxx Jess and Mel
Jess Render Content Editor
Melissa Frateantonio Creative Editor
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henry beckley
henry jones
Edoardo Lanfranchi
Clara Hernandez Homburger
mally capstick
sam thomas
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pookie collier
isabel locke
aydin sandalli
charlotte lacy
elle morgan williams
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By Sam Thomas If you came to our Freshers Fair you will know that Castle is bursting with Sporting clubs and Societies. From Cricket to Castle Theatre Company, there is a huge variety to get involved with. You're also more than welcome to setup a society of your own! If you slept through the freshers’ fair or feel like you’re missing out on something then fear not - societies can be joined at any point throughout the year. Just join the Facebook page for the club you’re interested in and message the society president. It’s never too late and they will always be more than happy to have new members. Pursing extra-curricular interests whilst at university can be a great way to meet new people, an opportunity to continue doing what you love and a well needed break from the world of academia. So please do get involved with everything you can in our wonderful Castle community. If you did miss the freshers fair here are just some of the sports and socs Castle has to offer:
g MLax T Basketball Rowin Badminton Cricket ennis Rugby Football Squash Volleyball Running Women’s Football Frisbee Futsal Men's A Netball CheerPoo Futsal Women's A l Hock is Rounders ey Darts T-Tenn
Castle Chamber choir Castle Freestyle Club Dance Poker Castle Orchestra Floreat Magazine Big Band Palatinalps Art Soc Feminists Soc Christian Union Castle Theatre Company Music (UCMS)
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Mattie Taylor, President Environment Committee
of
The environment division of CCA is fairly new to Castle; I’m the second environment officer and this year, I am very excited to be setting up the first Environment Committee to help create a bigger impact within Castle’s community. With waste and plastic awareness having such a huge presence in the media recently, we really want to focus on this throughout the year, both with raising awareness and changing some of the products used within Castle to reusable/compostable alternatives. As well as this, the Castle Allotment is planning to expand this year and so enable us to grow even more fresh vegetables within the grounds of Castle to supply the homeless meals with. We are also hoping to take on some of the themed awareness weeks that the university has chosen for this year, such as “Waste Awareness week” and creating our own week promoting the benefits that eating less meat has on the environment. I’m very optimistic that we can have a big impact on the way things work within the college, and to hopefully encourage a few more people to think 6 about the environment a little more.
The Ballad of the Brown Plague 'TWAS a wholesome Friday shift 'till the clock struck 9, When E. Hook said to me something wholly un-benign. "There are three chuns in the girls' bathrooms, In 3 separate cubicles no less! They need to be cleaned up immediately, This is an unholy mess!"
So off went E. Hook, I. Ward Parsons, and I. Naylor, To clean up the mess left behind by the cubicle assailer. Not ten minutes had passed, before to my great surprise, E. Hook said to me the water levels did rise. What originally was thought to be three cubicles of chun, Was actually a massive poo - significantly less fun. Flushing down too much toilet paper down the toilet, Had caused four of the toilets to clog. It had caused brown sewage water to spill everywhere, And was responsible for this unfortunate quahog. And another, and another, and another did overflow, Until "Out of Order" signs, we did have to show. The girls' bathroom was fully out of use, While the porter tried to mend the damage caused by the deuce. Not an hour had passed, when a call from Jamie I did receive. And I found out there was whole lot more to grieve. The boys' bathroom, whenever flushed, Caused more poo water to overflow in the girls' toilets - much to my disgust.
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A total system failure! The bar had to be shut! At 10:30 pm - disappointing somewhat. Everyone was kicked out, Despite being rude, they mostly did comply, But when I went to the server to find Shannon, I was left saying "Oh my, oh my." S. Hunt had drunk too much, he was crawling with frenzy on all fours, Crawling to steps just around the back-Lowe doors. His cheeks puffed up and he did spew, A vomit of volcanic proportions no one was used to. He was taken home by O. Symington, his housemate and friend, Bringing both of their nights to a bitter, bitter end. Not two, not four, but five chun kits were needed to clean up the eyesore, 1 hour and 15 minutes it took me to complete this chore. I hope none of the details in this shit-show were too vague, In what shall hopefully be known as, "The Ballad of the Brown Plague." P. Saha, October 2018.
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Castle Theatre Company’s
Summer Tour
After spending our summer travelling all over England and New York, the cast and crew of Castle Theatre’s Company’s Summer Shakespeare Tour are finally settling back into normal life. From Milton Keynes to Manhattan, every venue we visited this July welcomed us with open arms, providing hospitality and warm praise for CTC. This year we took ‘Twelfth Night’ on tour, one of Shakespeare’s most famous and funny plays. Director Lucy Knight especially wanted to highlight the themes of gender and sexuality, raising questions about how subtleties of performance can affect understanding. Does Olivia suspect that “Cesario” is not all that he/she seems? Do our feelings towards Malvolio change when it is Malvolia instead? These questions and more provide a fresh take on the 400-year-old play.
We also incorporated music into the performance this year, devised by our amazingly talented musical director (and Castle student), Georgie Proctor. The troupe of musicians provided whimsical charm in-keeping with our classic aesthetic. It’s no surprise that the “food of love” was a big hit with our audiences. Of course, with a travelling show like this one, the troupe quickly had to learn to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. One example that comes to mind is from Elstow Abbey, where, during a sword fight, Toby Belch (Danny Booth) drew his wooden sword only for it to comically droop, having snapped in an earlier scene. Though obviously being constant professionals, the whole cast and audience allowed themselves a giggle before continuing with the scene.
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Unfortunately, little mishaps like this one weren’t the only thing we had to contend with. Nothing could have prepared us for Hurricane Florence. Just an hour before we were supposed to jump on a Greyhound Bus to Durham, North Carolina, we were informed that no one was getting in or out of NC for at least a week. We had been assured throughout the week that by the time we were supposed to travel, Florence would have blown herself out and we would be free to travel to the next leg of our tour. Alas, even the famous American optimism couldn’t overcome the hurricane. In an article written before the American leg for DST magazine, I described the upcoming US leg as ‘an absolute whirlwind’. Irony worthy of Shakespeare himself. In spite of this detour, we thoroughly enjoyed our time in America. We got to experience the offbeat charm of Seguine Mansion, a relic of the 19th century on Staten Island, packed with British and American antiques from every century. Nestled in the famous vacation spot of the rich and famous, The Hamptons, we were treated to the artistic haven of the Madoo Conservancy. Beautiful gardens full of modern and natural art alike, Madoo was charming in every way (even if three of our troupe were viciously attacked by baby wasps just before going on stage). Wethersfield, a Georgian-style manor built in 1939, gave us the opportunity to perform in their historic carriage house, which houses vehicles that have carried none other than Princess Anne – not to mention hosting us in the manor itself. The summer tour is always a highlight for CTC, enhanced this year by the stunning weather on the UK leg (and the memorable weather in the US). While we are used to the gorgeous historic sites across the South of England, including Beaulieu Abbey and the home of the Earl of Sandwich, this year provided us with a taste of life across the pond. We loved having the opportunity to bring a bit of good old British theatre to the New World. 10
...got agonies?
...ask oshy our very own agony aunt!
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No! Live your best life - you might as Please well approach him help! I have liked this because you have boy on my corridor in S Block since nothing to lose the 3rd day of freshers. I have done (particularly everything to speak to him but we don’t have if he doesn’t any of the same friends and it’s so difficult to remember your see him - I’m not even sure if he remembers my name. I haven’t liked anyone like this for name). It’s cool ages but it feels so futile - should I to introduce just let it go? yourself and either way, you might end up with a new friend hopefully, you’ll end up as more than that.
Hello Oshy - I’m in first year and I’m really keen to be a BNIC (Big Name in College) - what can I do? How do I get people to notice/remember me?
Make sure to get really drunk and chat a lot of shit! Then tell everyone how drunk you are (legend). A post on Castle freshers normally also works and if you’re really cool, maybe a live post or eight?!
Naturally, you’re going to be closer to some people in worried a large group than others Hi - I’m my drama. In g - that’s completely n si people 9 about hou e v a h e fine. If you could, p group w nd a 5. friendshi nto a 4 a i t make a deal try i l to p s to know how who want nd don’t a and sign near each nd a e e d l i l ’ s i ried I I hate th other or make plans - I’m wor t p s u e o b r g o w e t t my split th to see each other se withou is n the hou i do, this p u I n a c regularly. You don’t t a h W . e out! friends have to live with ressing m really st someone to be close to them. Hope it all works out okay!
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Castle Goss... Ladies and Gentlemen of Castle, Welcome to Castle Goss: your one and only source of scandalous and steamy lives of Castle’s saints and sinners. We’ve had some juicy secrets and some serious tea spilled in our wonderful Castle walls. If you or your friends don’t feature in this column, make sure to keep sending in your revelations because the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about at all... Fresher’s week has been full of surprises, with lonely breakfasts due to a ‘busy’ Mr Tatchell who our very own Treasure had the pleasure to meet Wednesday night of freshers sitting in a rather soggy puddle. A very spectacular amount of sharking has occurred, starting with the popular showing of “Lu Lu Land” in high demand with some serious DEVeloping feelings. A night in castle for a wavy frep ended well in bailey court where uniMATinable things happened, however for our DU netball enthusiast on a Tennis social she was asked one too many PERTinent questions before she was escorted home with a friendly face, who somehow can’t seem to leave Lawson. One of the French speaking duo also enjoyed her time with our very own Durham boy, but hughwever pleased we are for her, incest is incest. Inside gossip has it that our very own Italian stallion had some international love after one too many drinks on NG. The love triangle grows after our future senior student (Zi?Charles?Zi?Charles?) not so subtly DEVelops feelings with all eyes on our very own blad after his not so eventful evening in bailey court. “He’s going to have his heart broken” – blad. However an Undie occurrence with our blonde haired radio BABE may have spiced things up. An exemplary supply of gossip who seems to always be Wright seems to also think she is everybody’s best friend with friend requests being sent out by the hour. The biggest scandal of all has to lie with “the gentlemen of castle” living the HIGH(gate) life. Pity they can’t play nice, bye bye Freemans boys it’s been nice knowing you. Shame they don’t play as nice as Luke Beckett looks in his rugby shorts. Alexa, play fake love by Drake. You know you love me,
xoxo 13
Until next time!
Beautiful artwork by Sunita Ramani
Design by Melissa Frateantonio