The Farewell Issue 2016

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The Farewell Issue

In this issue...

2. Goldrush 3. Too Old to Tour?

4. That awkward moment when your parents get FOMO and follow you to UNI….

6. Castle Photography 8. What The Chairman Didn’t Tell You 9. Cluedo: The Castle Edition 12. Rugby Tour 13. UCNC Tour 17. The Other Side 18. Gossip Girl 20. Finalist Wise Words This final issue was brought to you by: Maddy Vincent - Editor-in-chief Tabby Keown-Boyd - Design Editor Mike Bedigan, Jess Christy, Fraser DesforgesMedhurst, Celia Durkan, Gossip Girl, Dumitha Gunawardene, Ellie Hill, Jane Markey, Verity Rimmer, Charlotte Spence, Emma Walker, Harriet Walsh, and Sarah Westlake.

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goldrush For the fresh who may as just be unfamiliar with the concept of ‘goldrush’, it is the magical time of the year after exams, when you have no commitments, no responsibilities and no shame in pursuing anyone you have ever had the faintest attraction to. Because, even if you aren’t a finalist, you aren’t going to see them for like four months and the awkwardness will have worn off by then. And if you are a finalist you might never see them EvER AgAiN. Just THINK of the potential. So in true investigative journalism fashion, I asked around my friends for their thoughts on GR.* ‘Question: Is it legit to have goldrush plans for your college grandson?

Answer: Hell yes if he is hot #incestisbest.’

‘I’m worried about correctly striking the drunk balance between confident and sloppy.’

‘Tinder all the way. If you were a bit keen with the swipe left last term, delete your tinder account and start again. No shame.’

‘If you make a list of targets, keep it to yourself.’

‘Who says gold rush needs to begin after exams? The heightened emotions of the exam hall are the ideal breeding grounds for romance. Failing that, a quick liaison in the loos is the perfect way to calm down post-exam.’

‘I’ll just try not to cheat on my girlfriend.’

‘Mantra: I WILL be in the 72%’ ‘Don’t limit yourself to current Castle students. Grads up visiting their friends are defs a legitimate target. Would recommend’ Ultimately, the key to a successful gold rush is confidence. You never know, that fit second year could be just as desperate as you are. Go for it. *Some of these may or may not be true.

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Too Old to Tour?

In this modern world of tour equality, where women are now allowed to leave the college unchaperoned for countless nights of being accosted by stag parties in Eastern Europe, what is it that drives Finalists to shun this pinnacle of fun in favour of another holiday?

Are they as boring as they look? Following a sojourn to the exotic Costa Del Sol, Floreat exposes the truth behind these over-21s holidays.

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The Search for a More Cultural Experience ‘That old building was boring. No, I don’t want to go to a museum. I’d rather be at the Chelsea Flower Show.’ – Hetty Gittus, 2016. Obviously, age does not bring appreciation of history or monuments that have gained worldwide acclaim. We may have risen at 8am on our first day to see the Mezquita in Cordoba, but this soon descended into eating for 2/3 of our waking hours and frying ourselves to death on the beach.

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Desire to Detox ‘Where is the booze?’ – Eve Smith, 24/7 2016. The quest for the June Ball bod is often at odds with a heavy tour schedule, but OCPA’s Great Krakow Sushi Fetish is testament to the fact that calories can be cut in any country. Seville, on the other hand, did bad things for certain members of this OAP holiday with Eve knocking beers back as soon as she woke up. This was apparently through no desire of her own, but rather the fault of the 40-degree weather. The free drinks didn’t help either.

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To Regain your ‘Zen’ ‘FREEDOM FOR CATALUNYA’ – Alicia Newman, how not to make friends, 2016. Finals can be (read: absolutely fucking are) the most stressful time of your life, so it’s no wonder that some of us struggle to wind down in the aftermath. Unfortunately, a finalist holiday is not the place to do this. If you’re not shouting down Spanish men with independence chants in a bar, you will apparently find yourself arguing with an ex-con about Brexit. Blood pressure will soar.

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Proving your Sophistication to the Wider World ‘I can’t be in here, oh god I can’t be in here, I’M IN SHORTS AND TRAINERS’ – Maddy Vincent, 5* Hotel Rooftop Bar 2016. You’re surveying the Cathedral by moonlight, sipping on white wine, surrounded by the people in Seville society who want to see and be seen and you’re underdressed. Sophistication still a work in progress. Adulthood not quite in reach (thank god).

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Pre-Graduation Bonding ‘I didn’t believe that he was Mr Bulgaria, but apparently it was true! Look, I’ll google him for you.’ – Abbie Jupp, 2016. A smaller group lends itself much better to the discovery of classified information than a larger one. Reminiscing about the good old days of our youths was a prominent topic of the week. Most details are highly classified, but rest assured that everyone had more than a few tales to tell and that the best stories often take a while to come to light. And, just for the record, there are an abundance of stag parties in Malaga as well.

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That awkward moment when your parents get FOMO and follow you to UNI….

At first I was afraid, I was petrified… thinking I could never live with you in Durham, but then I spent so many nights in the DSU with you, and we got drunk..,. and began to get alonggggg.

To add some context to the above rephrasing of Aretha Franklin’s “Survivor”: As of October 2015, my dad begun his PhD in Durham (Ustinov College, in fact.)

As you can imagine, initially I did not react well (Refer to figure 1.) . Not to mention that they sprung the news about the move, on me whilst allegedly helping me bring some of my stuff up to Durham - hidden motives much. That was it: my freedom had been taken away, I was officially going to uni with my parents…. My fresher parents.

figure 1. me, approximately 20 minutes after mum and dad broke the news.

That night, the 2nd of October 2015, I had agreed to let them stay the night. As it was dad’s birthday the next day, we went out for birthday dinner (at Nadon Thai- 7/10, would recommend). A tense dinner, over which I consumed wine like water believing that this was to be my life for the next 2 years; awkward dinners, forced familial interaction and a constant earful of: “why haven’t you got a job?”, “why aren’t you at the library?” etc.

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As we arrived back home my friends were beginning to pre and out of my mothers mouth came the phrase that changed everything: “Can we join in?”.

Of course I said yes, despite knowing that in doing so I was committing “social suicide” (Damien, 2004). As my parents sat down to join in on ring-of fire (yes, you read that right) it hit me. My parents are cool, they are my closest friends and I love them so much. I would be a fool to resent them being here and instead enjoy their time close to me as much as possible. (Y’all have to pay so much dolla

to go and see your parents, to see mine it’s now a 2 min FREE bus ride.)

Fast forward about an hour and we are sitting in a circle, doing caramel vodka shots (Kneps, 10/10- would definitely recommend) singing happy birthday to my dad at the top of our voices. (See figure 2.) My mum and I have just had a dance off and my friends are bringing up all of my embarrassing first year stories. In a way, I had never been happier.

figure 2. Celebrating the big 50 like a 20 year old- Dad is in the middle.

Since that fated day, I’ve come to the realisation that it is truly awesome have my parents here! Just in case you weren’t jealous already, I have listed some of the many advantages below: • I can pop home whenever to have a home cooked meal and unconditional love. (dad hugs and mum food are the best) • I can ask them to take me to the big tesco (trust me first years, big tesco is the holy grail of second year) • We go to Wine Soc together and get the “family” discount.

• They now understand what I’m talking about when I talk about Durham (ie. “the bubble”, the griminess of klute etc.)

• Going to Game Soc is far more fun (and challenging, nerds in Durham have nothing on me) Sure seeing my dad in the library, or on the street is slightly surreal, but it’s so worth it. So laugh at me if you want, but I love having my parent’s here- it makes my University experience so much more novel, and I’m just glad that we can share this part of our lives together. So don’t be scared to say hi to them if you see them around!

Love you mum and dad, you are both the definition of forever young x

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CASTLE Photography

Eleanor Kershaw-Green

Natalie Mills

Anja Wolf

Laurence Holmes-Smith

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Rowena Lui

Jimmy Lee

Pippa Brock Verity Rimmer

Erin Cullen Emma Walker

Grace Tseng

Izzy Pyle

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What The Chairman Didn’t Tell You After another year of JCR scandal, drama and debauchery, some would go so far as to say that Jack Boyles, our ousted JCR chairman, has seen it all.

Leaving behind his role and responsibilities after graduation, he’s thrown all fucks to the wind to give us the lowdown on the secrets, controversial opinions and gossip that goes on behind Castle’s closed doors.

What has been your most awkward moment as Chairman?

“Certain candidates in certain interviews being asked to make a soundscape of a heated sexual encounter has to be up there. The interviewers closed their eyes but I had to keep mine open for reasons of ‘fairness’. Where do you look when someone is trying to make a sex-scape?”

It’s inevitable that some members of the exec will get a slapped wrist at some point in the year. What’s been the worst exec disciplinary issue you’ve dealt with over the last year?

Having to tell off Tom Hill for shamelessly self-plugging Mundie gigs in the JCR emails. Abuse of position for narcissistic means.

That does sound intense. Do you find it difficult keeping calm in such a stressful and fast paced college position?

“I love being in a fast paced position of any sort. I just like having lots of fingers in lots of pies. When things go wrong I start enjoying myself. I don’t do flustered, I just like flustering others. I’ve been labelled Castle Crisis Manager.”

Speaking of fingers in pies, you also adjudicate on a lot of committees. Any highlights?

“When a certain water-based society attempted to apply for 4 times the amount of money UCSSFC had in its budget. That was a cracker. The best one though has to

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be when a society ordered a croquet set, only to discover at the meeting that they’d proposed a miniature one. For little tiny people.”

What are your thoughts on this year’s exec elections?

“There’s always a strong positive correlation between the people I speak to and the people who are elected. I’m therefore willing to give out my number to any potential candidate. Or force candidates to sit hostage in my room for 3 hours. I just love to give back.”

You must have to give up many things to take on such a time consuming job. What did you miss most?

“I miss having opinions. I’m quite good at that. But I adored this job and have actually found it hard to stop doing it. Hence why I haven’t. I’m addicted to the JCR.” So, with a heavy heart our beloved chairman is off to sunnier climes in Clapham. But, in the words of Fraser Desforges-Medhurst, “he’s a fucking institution” and something tells us he may not be able to keep away for long.

Cluedo: The Castle Edition Dickie is dead. Who killed him?

The June Ball is a place of revelry, excitement, and debauchery.

However, this year was also the scene of a crime. Six castlemen are suspect as to their motives and alibis on the evening of the 21st June, and it is your job to find out who dunnit.

Was it Countess Clare Schwarzberg in the Lowe with the Book of Bad Business? Was it Priest Peter Francis in the Undie with a mackerel? Or was it Bodge the Baron in the Great Hall with a VONC? Only time will tell.

All you’ll need to play this college-family favourite are some dice and play pieces – the rest is up to chance. Pull out the Castle Cluedo board and cut off the characters and weapons, and you’re ready to go.

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The Gatehouse

The Keep

The Black Stairs -> TO the Lowe

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-> to the stairs

The Lowe

The Great Hall

The Undie 11

RUGBY TOUR Day 1 – ‘Tour on’

“TOUR TOUR, TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR!” exclaimed Alex Mackerelpherson as he greeted the few due to fly from Liverpool airport. One banter train, 100 slices of Pizza Hut’s finest, and one gin-fuelled banter flight later, we arrive in Prague. Well almost. It was none other than Chrisptofer Loadman who was held at passport control, due to a confliction between his British passport and supposed Slovakian identity…

We were met at Orange Hostel by the rest of the group and proceeded to take advantage of 80p pints. ‘Dick of The Day’ (and the disgusting pink dress to go with it) went to Scott Breado for schweffing all the way from Durham to Prague, amongst other things. Emon Cashewvarz brought a suitcase as hand luggage.

Those who survived the evening’s frivolities frequented Prague’s famous five-story club. Dominoes Humphrey got with a 15 year-old.

Day 2 - ‘Mackerel’ Cultural day.

Our free tour-guide was eventually abandoned due to supposedly misinforming us on the history of the Czech lands, which seemed too much for the club’s historians.

Lunch was followed by a fresher game of danger fives, which ended with Dan Richteabiscuitson having to hold a smoked mackerel for 24 hours. A climb took us to the Cathedral, in which Dan furthered his misgivings. After being eyebrowed on hitting a child with the fish (whilst in the Cathedral), the stupid fresher proceeded to ask Czech children whether this would be possible. With a teacher leading the child away from Dan, his next point of call would be the nearest old lady, which he beat over the head with the oily fish.

Post hermits, it was clear that Dan would become DOTD. I can’t remember what happened that night. Ben Boloney takes a photo of me asleep on the toilet, taking a sit-down pee.

Day 3 - ‘Freshers compete’

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Prague zoo. 4.5 * on tripadvisor. Sure.

Boloney calls me Promeet. I re-evaluate education levels of the club. Dom and

Pepsimax Holdsworth convince Blackwood he pissed himself. Little did he know…

Hermits led by prospective social sec candidates. Elliot Brownsauce leads his men through laserquest, whilst Beardo leads by getting more drunk than his hermit. I get DOTD for falling asleep on the can. Can’t argue with that.

Day 4 - ‘Beardo and flumes’

After waking up and shotgunning a beer, Beardo then proceeds with his nutritious breakfast by consuming Michael Horsemeat’s two-month old, in-grown toenail.

Whilst on the way to Prague waterpark, Big P(ete)zza continued with the day’s feet-related obscenities by re-bandaging his gammy toe on a bus stop bench, in between a lady and a disabled man. The sight was too much for the latter, who grabbed his crutches and limped off, whilst Pete proceeded to move closer to the lady. One insane waterpark + no lifeguards = 27 men down one banter flume at the same time. Our final night begun with a traditional Czech dinner, to which Beardo arrived late. Frivolities begun with the DOTD award and the coveted ‘Dick of Tour’ award. Pete won the former with help from himself and Beardo, (the latter simply for the amount of misgivings in one day). Pete dies. Everybody else follows. Tour off.

UCNC TOUR

N.B: Names have been switched around to spread the embarrassment*** ***lol jk.

Day1:

Picture the scenes. 5:30am the drizzly morning after a particularly eventful Bierfest. Personally I was running on 20 minutes of sleep and had cracked my suitcase after falling out of my front door - things hadn’t started well. However, this suffering was on a microscopic scale compared to Jojo Feely who had the skin colour matching that of over-ripe avocado flesh and who was constantly vomiting for 24 hours. We arrived at Greg and Tom’s ‘party’ hostel and were greeted not

by Greg nor Tom but by the booby and bubbly ‘Igga’ (my ‘igga my ‘igga my motherfucking ‘igga) our rep for the evening. We proceeded to drink vile Polish alcohol until we were allowed to leave. UCNC hit the streets and the streets hit back. In this case quite literally as Gigi Barker tumbled off a one inch pavement and once back in Durham was informed that she had fractured her ankle. Silly fresher.

Our club mascot ‘Lee’ the clownfish (obviously) attracted all the boys which wasn’t difficult as we were the only females in the entire of Krakow. The clubs emptied with us and followed us around the square like dogs to the pieces of meat we obviously all are. I say that, but then the club hauled in 8 pulls that evening with each guy

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getting a rating of about 4.5…. out of 20. #banter #tour.

Day 2: Picture the scenes. Blazing sunshine, 24 very white girls (literally and behaviourally That bloody fish Jojo upon arrival at very white). We set out to was better than any Stansted airport explore the city. I got burnt. wingman Culture-vulture session over we head back to the hostel and awaiting Amber Ahmad was a hand-delivered love note…Yakob’s the name, stalking English girls was his game. Yakob had taken Amber’s netball background far too seriously and wished to arrange a “game” with her at the local “court”.

However, his balls were in fact very much in the wrong court and we then decided as a group that we should be less friendly with the locals. To our dismay our favourite club from the night before had shut their DJ room for refurbishment, does this stop UCNC? Absolutely fucking not. After swiftly being ejected from the club (oops) we took our business elsewhere and had a bloody banger. But, the night out wasn’t enough for a certain fresher, who upon arriving back had stripped down and fashioned herself a bikini made entirely of toilet roll. Meanwhile back at the ranch, two of our cohort had bedded members of Mary’s Football team who were also on their own tour. This. ended. terribly. What began as innocent 3am hanky panky under the sheets ended with a bloodbath in the streets. Fisticuffs within the ranks of SMAFC lead to our girls being caught very much in the crossfire. The consequences of the fight ended in their social secretary being put on the next flight to Britain. #banter #tour

Ten seconds before we got kicked out of da club featuring some awful sunburn.

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Underwere

Day 3:

There’s no easy way to talk about Day 3 and it would be a huge mistake on my part if I tried to avoid it. On the third day nearly all of us visited the former German Nazi concentration camp - Auschwitz-Birkenau. This symbol of terror and genocide was nothing less than overwhelming. We’ve all learnt at some stage in our lives about the Holocaust but truly the scale of human extermination cannot be fathomed. The site of Auschwitz II (the purpose build death camp) held up to 100,000 innocent human beings at any one time - like cattle for slaughter.

Unexpectedly, it is not the sort of place where you burst into tears upon entry but instead you feel hollow and immensely shocked. Everyone knows that the Holocaust happened but, for me, it’s only after I visited Auschwitz that it hit me how real it all was. I would encourage anyone visiting Krakow to go visit Auschwitz.

It’s a part of our history that should never be forgotten.

Day 4:

Picture the scenes. Salt. Everywhere. We visited the salt mines of Krakow which sounds quite lame but it was really fucking cool. We had a 4 hour tour and saw LESS THAN ONE PERCENT of the whole mine (that’s fucking cool). Our tour guide Sebastian was also the sassiest person I have met besides Jonathan Whittaker and we all gave him incredible trip advisor reviews. Fast forward to midnight in one of Krakow’s many parks. Tara Bennett gets her iPhone snatched from her back pocket - silly silly fresher. UCNC sprinted after the culprit and went full ninja cray on this guy unfortunately he got away, despite Gigi and Amber somehow getting his wallet keys and jacket from him…? After dragging Tara out of the club to take a ride to the police station I had done more cardio than I have ever done before so I called it a night. For those not caught up in the scuffle - TOUR ON. As many snapchat videos emerged they all seemed to star Annie Waugh. Who on the walk home had: slapped a man in the face with a slice of cheese, pissed in the street then rinsed her hair in it and then dry humped a conifer. #banter #tour

RAGRETZ cheese in face of stranger Entirely unjustified.

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Day 5: Picture the scenes. We’re hungover and sat in a coffee shop (oh so ‘Durham’)

and Kate gets a message from one Stevyln Ptkowtrotski “Hello. I have your friends phone. Meet me at 2 kuda. I want a prize”. After shitting ourselves we then decided to take a tourist buggy over to the Jewish quarter to try and suss out Stevlyn. The buggy driver handed me the aux cable and my incredible taste in music and our incredibly out of tune voices blared through the town. We arrive at the mystical “2 kuda” and retrieved the phone from this slimy bastard who turns out was mates with the mugger…. so we got mugged off by an arranged mugging scam. Fuck’s sake. 150 Polish monies (zlotti??) handed over to Stevlyn we head back in the kart and enjoyed the backstreet boys before some souvenir shopping and the coach to the airport.

To summarise tour was heavy. Really heavy. But in a good way. Everyone was on top form and embraced the spirit (and the spirits) that Krakow had to offer. There was so much going on I could probably fill a n entire Floreat with our antics but nobody has time for that. Big thanks go out to the unrelenting Lydia Reid who organised a great week enjoyed by all, Ellie Gumpel has some big sassy shoes to fill. Here are some very classy quotes to give you a brief insight into the carnage: “Why do balls always come out my vagina?”

“I’m not totally against anal” “It is a life struggle having permanently hard nipples” “Beer isn’t alcoholic” Have you ever thought of someone else whilst having sex? “Sometimes the sail boat needs a wind” “UCNC tattoo only counts if it’s on the flap” “I want the fish on top” “I don’t want to drink, I’d rather take drugs as it will make my throat less sore” About Voldemort “I bet he has a good body” “I’d treat him right” “I bet he’s into black magic” “I don’t nibble. I devour” “All I ate on tour was sushi, alcohol and dick” - Genie Rendell Netball Club President 2015/16

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by Ellie Hill (very much a peripheral social member of UCNC)

The Other Side W

e have recently learnt of the collapse of the rape trial involving four male students from Cirencester University; Thady Duff, Leo Mahon, Patrick Foster and James Martin. Their names have been dragged through the mud, their families put through absolute emotional and financial hell, but the victim walks out anonymous and protected.

This is especially true of cases, like Saville’s, which include historical accusations, dating back to many years before. The victims involved here grew up in a time when sexual behaviour was not discussed. It was a less liberal time and people were not open in discussing if they had been abused.

They were embarrassed.

The law in the UK grants anonymity to the accuser of rape, but the accused are allowed to have their names shouted out across the media.

It is vital that victims feel able to come forward, and if it is apparent that they are not alone in their horrendous ordeals, then this could encourage them to speak out and bring the case closer to being understood.

On the surface, this could be seen as totally wrong and cruel. Whether proven innocent or guilty, these four boys, alongside Louis Richardson, have had their lives destroyed.

However, it is not this simple.

Look at the Saville Effect: once the first person came forward, this encouraged more to come forward and tell their story, meaning the true extent of his abuse could be discovered. Without Jimmy Saville’s name being flashed across the media, the vast majority of victims would probably have stayed silence, all individually under the impression that they were in a minority or, even worse, they wouldn’t have been believed.

It can also protect potential future victims. A named rapist is going to find it difficult to discreetly and secretly abuse again whilst their trial is ongoing.

So, this issue is not black and white.

It is tempting, especially after the case of the four boys from Cirencester, to cry out for the law to be changed so as to protect the accused. To truly treat them as “innocent until proven guilty”.

However, this could deeply harm the ability of victims to come forward, allowing many rapists to dangerously and terrifyingly walk our streets freely, never being punished for the hurt they have caused.

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Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of Castle, Here it is. My final column of the year. And the moment you have all been waiting for - the ‘Big Reveal’ of my identity. But I was never going to make it that easy for you all.

So in classic cryptic fashion, I thought I would compile some ‘Confessions of Gossip Girl’ based on my experience in the role this year.

I have put myself in one of the previous columns. I know - shameful. But then again I am undeniably interesting and gossip worthy. A unique way to find out who your true friends are is by who sends in messages to the GG account all about you. But as Oscar Wilde wrote, “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

People are so boring. I was v close to abandoning the whole ‘asking permission’ tradition. Yawn. Be thankful I was never on Welfare. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And even the most disciplined GG can resort to some embellishment of gossip. But I never resorted to fiction.

And anyway, my law background informs me that libel is a difficult action to pursue so don’t flatter yourselves. Cba to make up shit about you basic mo’fos.

I inherited this role from my old housemate. And while everyone thought the role hadn’t been passed on at all, she did know all the passwords so if anyone ever got a particularly sassy message it was probs from her #dontcrossme. Creds must also go to the other C from our little clique who has been one of my most trusted informants throughout the year - when she isn’t emailing vicars at 3 am.

The year may be over, but that doesn’t mean the gossip has to stop. There are still plenty of opportunities to get up to some Bad Business.

Stay scandalous Castle. XOXO

gossip girl

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Overheard on Owengate: a motivational speech to rival Coach Carter from UCRFC, proving that the rugby lads aren’t so bad after all. But the boost in confidence may have gone to one member’s head. In perhaps a last ditch attempt for ANYONE to see his minimus Augustus, one Castleman was caught relieving himself in the courtyard. Classy.

An anonymous tip for the gentleman who lost his black tie jacket in Fabs - you might want to check the Undie. Rumour has it, the jacket has been spotted but sans condom in the pocket. But the question is, who is the lucky (or rather unlucky) girl who sported it down Saddler’s Street?

Scott Beard. Rugby Tour. I don’t think I really need to go into too much detail with this one. If I hear the story about the toenail one more time …

Spotted: Castle graduate in fabs exHALEing a sigh of relief when he managed to escape a fresher who was overheard begging him to ‘please, please get with me’. Subtle.

I was informed of a rather worrying tale involving a DANgerous use of a fish on tour. I don’t know whether the children in the cathedral were running away from him or the Rich(ardson) smell of the mackerel, but I don’t think he will be welcome back after assaulting a little old lady. You’re lucky the Mail weren’t informed of this one #yobculture In my parting wisdom, I have noticed a growing trend among certain college members to make gossip up about themselves. While I am always on the look out for goss, this particular habit is getting increasingly dull. If you get caught in your own web of lies, please don’t pass the blame on to someone else either. #TeamCCC

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Wise Words A few of Castle’s finalists share the important lessons that they have learnt throughout their college careers.

Joe Boyd-Morrit - What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

After 3 years at Durham I’ve come away with a degree, a couple more mates, but more importantly, a new bench PB. My legs are still skinnier than I’d like but you can’t have everything.

Summer Burton-Morgan - Don’t be afraid of change.

Everyone is constantly developing and improving both physically and mentally. It’s not a problem to change your mind about something even if you think you’re on to a total winner. My original theme for June Ball was going to be the inside of the human body haha!!

Tom Hill - When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

It’s tough at the top and sometimes you’ll get involved in things that you don’t always agree with morally. Just close your eyes, grit your teeth and send the email. It’s all for the greater good.

Abbie Jupp - Love thy neighbour as thyself.

Especially if thy neighbour is having copious amounts of loud sex that thou can hear through thy wall.

Dumitha Gunawardne - Never forget who you are.

The last 3 years at Durham have been the happiest of my life. I’ve made so many great friends and done so many amazing things in a college that I love. All that’s left to say is thank you to everyone who has made my time at Grey College so enjoyable.

Jane Markey - All good things must come to an end.

I’ve had so much fun being part of the many prestigious college societies at Castle and although I’ll miss it terribly, I’m safe in the knowledge that there is a certain group of lovely girls that will carry on the legacy left by me and my wonderful friends.

Dom Humphrey - No pain no gain.

Although university life is a lot of fun, putting in effort is vital to achieving your goals. This year alone I’ve done UCDC, Lumley, the fashion show and now, after going to Prague on rugby tour, I finally feel as though I’m a proper legend.

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Cover by Emma Walker

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving�

Albert Einstein