Floreat Welcome Home Issue
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Letter from the Editor
Jess Christy Editor-in-Chief
Sarah Westlake Deputy Editor
Celia Durkan Design Editor
Welcome home everyone, For those just settling into Castle life and reading Floreat for the first time, a big warm hello from all of us on the Floreat team. We hope that you’ve had a cracking freshers’ week filled with brilliant banter, creative costumes and enough Smenergy to sink a battleship. For the majority, who are old enough to remember what chairs in a castle are supposed to look like and the reign of Collin, welcome back! If you’ve never read Floreat before, what should you expect? In short, goss, cheap gags and a witty remark or two. Floreat is all of the best college banter and gossip packed into 5 hilarious editions each year. We will keep you informed about everything you missed in Klute last Tuesday and all of the post formal calamities as they happens. This issue promises to bring you culinary masterpieces, livers out nightmares, Newcastle knowledge, the fittest freshers and Will Throp busting some moves. If, at any time, any of you wonderful members of the JCR want to submit either a feature, article idea, piece of artwork, photo or a juicy piece of gossip for the magazine, send an email to floreatmagazine@gmail.com or to Gossip Girl at castlegossipgirl@hotmail.com. We can’t promise everything will be published, but we will do our best to get as many of the JCR involved in, what should be, a magazine for everyone. Thank you to the wonderful editorial team, every writer who has contributed and our talented artists and design team who really do bring Floreat to life. It wouldn’t have been possible without you all. Enjoy your brunch, your magazine and that wonderful image of a naked second year playing the banjo. Floreat Castellum
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in this issue 3 #Castle 4 Freshers’ Week Report
6 Come Dine With M e
10 Livers Abroad 14 Meet the Exec 19
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Guide to that New Castle over there
Sharks and Pirhanas
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Let’s Dance!
Livers Out Nightmares 32 Yes, it is your problem...
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Interrailing
34 Durham Castle Society
36 Fittest Freshers
40 Classic Castle
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Gossip Girl
44 The Back Page
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Here at Floreat we gathered together some of our favourite instagram pics and freshers moments. Follow @floreatcastellum and tag us in all your snapshots of college life - you may be featured in the next issue!
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FrEsHeRs’_WeEk_RePoRt Another freshers’ week over and, as ever, enough scandal, costumes, Harry Potter references and small talk to last a lifetime. But for all those after a re-fresh of the week’s events and goss, Floreat brings you their report of all the freshers’ week madness. Freshers this year have quickly settled into Castle and are putting their own stamp on college life… “I really can’t be bothered to do my laundry, aren’t Hatfield still our servants?” “I didn’t know Hatfield went to see the Pope.” “Floreat is just too tame. There should be a burn book in the Norman Chapel instead.” The Freps and Exec also had a successful week, constantly providing top quality banter and chat. Highlights included: The daily crossword challenge. One Frep breaking the world record for the highest number of uses of the word “fantastic” in one sitting.
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Exploring the popularity and love for the word rogue. #rogueismylife Denting metal; there is nothing more satisfying than using a baking tray as anger management at 7:30 in the morning. Finding a label maker in the tech cupboard and proceeding to label many mundane items in the JCR. Top labels included TV, chair and penis. Meanwhile, many livers out were perturbed and scarred by all the newbies strutting their stuff across the courtyard. “I was peer pressured into painting a Fresher’s nipple.” “Sorry, I’m confused, what’s OCPA?” “That’s random allocation for you.” Proving it wasn’t just the freshers that had an eventful week: One infamous second year, after chundering in a finalists sink, had to be dragged home by a friend after several too many. Re-fresh to the extreme. Another unnamed group of finalists living above Urban Oven, after procuring a water gun from an unknown source, proceeded to shower passers-by with water. One unfortunate local cried ‘Aaaaaay I’ve just been pissed on.’ One college mother of 4 received a foot massage from one of her sons in the Undie after a rather eventful parent formal. Drink up, feet up. floreatCastellum
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Floreat Does 'Come Dine with me' Jessica Christy becomes Dave Lamb as she gives you an insight into some of the Editorial Board’s impeccable culinary skills. With intense anticipation and large appetites, our four Come Dine With Me specialists entered 12 Lambton Street with their special courses at the ready.
Menu N Starter
Sarah Avocado and Chicken Salad with a Crunchy Apple Topping
Main Celia Pizza
Dessert
Emily Marble Chocolate Chip Mousse
Entertainment Maddy Banjo
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Sarah Westlake kick starts the evening with a tantalising starter; Avocado and Chicken salad with a crunchy apple topping. “It’s not all about the looks guys. To be fair I did make this 5 minutes before the meeting.” As the first course was dished out and tasted, our expert judging panel made some comments on their sensory experience of the dish. Maddy: “It’s edible…” Jess: “Sarah, I can’t taste the avocado!” Sarah : “Guys the avocado was just not ripe.” Emily : “It has a good texture.” Celia : “So essentially you’ve just given us mayonnaise, chicken and apple?” Even with that shocking blow to Sarah’s mayonnaise and chicken
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combo, she was still able to gain an average mark of 6. “Taste Good. Effort minimal.” With that pretty average score to beat, can Celia Durkan wow the panel with her outlandish main course? Celia: “Guys I’m really sorry I completely forgot. There’s Margherita, Pepperoni and BBQ Chicken” Sarah: “What so Celia just bought Urban Oven?!” Maddy : “In all honesty, you can’t get better than an Urban Oven.” So, Celia was able to bring herself back from the brink with her knowledge of Durham fast food, scoring a very commendable average score of 8. “Probably the most expensive dish of the evening by miles.” With the bar set at an incredibly high standard by Celia, Emily Brown
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is hoping that she can still take the lead with her seemingly artistic Marble Chocolate Chip Mousse. Emily got her sexy whisk out and performed her magic. Emily : “Shit this is not going well. I’ve got no idea what this is going to be like. This looks horrendous what the *censored* has happened.” Sarah : “I need more wine.” Emily “It’s essentially raw egg,is that ok?” Maddy : “I’ve just googled it, the NHS says you can eat raw eggs. They’re safe and nourishing.” Emily : “Don’t worry guys it’s a recipe I’ve used before.” Celia : “Did anyone die or get food poisoning?” Emily : “…” Jess: “I don’t know if this is going to clog my sink.” So Emily’s Marble Chocolate Soup entirely failed to impress our judging panel and her overall score plummeted to a new low of 4. “What do you think Celia?” “I liked the Tesco ice cream.” Finally, Maddy Vincent believes she can take the lead and the title of top provider of banter with her choice of entertainment ; Matthew Kemp playing the banjo naked.
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Kempy: “Maddy, you didn’t really explain it to me, all you said was ‘Kempy, can you come and play the banjo naked for me?’” Maddy: “I was really drunk.” Kempy: “Jess, should I get my kit off now?” Jess: “Impressive arse.” Celia: “I’m lost for words.” With both an incredible strumming and fingering technique and an A* for balls, Maddy and Kempy storm into the lead with an incredibly successful 9 (which could have potentially been a 10 but Celia was far more impressed with the artistic style of her number 9). “I’ve never met him before and I was pleasantly surprised”. After a very interesting, rather than impressive, evening of culinary crises, banjo playing bliss and the consumption of many bottles of wine, Maddy Vincent emerged victorious and achieved the highest accolade of top entertainer for her unbelievable choice of evening banter in Matt Kemp. Floreat Come Dine With Me; affirming the impressiveness of mayonnaise, educating about raw eggs, filling the JCR’s heads with images of Matt Kemp and demonstrating that Urban Oven really is the most incredible place in Durham.
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SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE By Jane Markey
There comes a time in your university career when a portion of your year group piss off to another country and post a lot of Facebook updates. Still, we’re all going to come crawling back in fourth year with stories of our enlightenment so it’s time to make some introductions. For those of you perplexed by the post on the freshers page on the evening of Freshtival (68 of you weren’t, but who was counting the likes?) here’s a run down of the year abroad students who will descend at various points during the year to cause more drama than they’re worth. Jane Markey Weirdest experience so far: Probably being asked by my friend to come out with her and some new french friends she had made. Turns out it wasn’t so much ‘french friends’ as one abductor. Things I miss: My BNOC status. JK I’m a legend here too. Findlay Caplan Weirdest experience so far: One male client booked a room in the hotel I am working at for only 4 hours. He then arrived with an unexpected lady friend. She never came to reception and left without a single word.
Philippa Mosley Weirdest experience so far: Bill Nighy strolled into the Café I was in, got a coffee and sat next to me… it took extreme self-discipline to stop myself singing ‘so if you really love Christmasss, come on and let it snow”. Somehow I felt it wouldn’t be appreciated. Things I miss: THE FREEDOM TO WEAR LEGGINGS! No one wears leggings here… You WILL be judged.
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Enid Lau Weirdest experience: Enid would prefer to let her actions speak for themselves on her return. Although if there had to be one weird experience it would simply be: much wine, floor bread, nuit blanche. Max ‘If you need help with sociology, I am your man’ Holdsworth Weirdest experience so far: Forging diplomatic and religious relationships by encouraging a Turkish Muslim to sample tequila for the first time and the results that followed. Things I miss: The taste of a fresh pint of snakebite in the Undie after rugby. Nicholas McQueen Weirdest experience so far: I genuinely have a dance module. In swing dance. And yes it is credit bearing. I’m wondering how I can fit it into my dissertation. Thing I miss: Proper tea, chocolate biscuits, Wagamamas, being able to afford things, classes ending at 6, customer service... Greggs. (I’m not proud ok). Holly d’Anger Weirdest experience so far: My first introduction with my PE teacher at my lycée. A perfectly normal kiss on the cheek was made ever so slightly awkward when we both went for the same side and assumed the other would pull back. Neither of us did. Things I miss: Starbucks’ Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate, which isn’t on their French menu… Vie de merde!!
Carol O’Flaherty Weirdest experience so far: Watching the Germany 7-1 game at Brandenburg Gate during the World Cup. Things I miss: Proper bacon and Heinz beans!
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Sophie Allen Weirdest experience so far: Meeting Gianni, a 26 year old friend of a friend who delivers organs (medical, not musical) for a living, and immediately having him back to our apartment for drinks with the group. Apparently this is normal behaviour in Italy. Things I miss: Chips and Dairy Milk. And Big Bang Theory/HIMYM reruns on TV all the time. Dominic Thurlow-Wood Weirdest experience: Today at work, English people were described as coffee-hating, cold-loving people who like to put red wine in the fridge... I looked at the woman as if she had two heads after the last comment. If there’s one thing durham students know about… Things I miss: Klute - Wayne’s Irish Bar is as terrible as it sounds but it’s just not Klute terrible. Megan Hill Weirdest experience so far: Participating in a dance class which involved an hour of maraca shaking to various Spanish tunes. I think I will be attending from now on. Things I miss: English muesli. Alicia Newman Weirdest experience so far: My current flatmate offering me up for a threesome on the first night I met her with a random guy and being completely unaware of why he was coming onto me. Things I miss: English politeness and tact!!
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Jessie Benjamin Weirdest experience so far: We travelled to a hostel that we had planned to stay at. Our hostel had been demolished and all that was left was wasteland. They did not get a good Trip Advisor review. Things I miss: Breathing clean air. Liberty Brown Weirdest experience so far: Occasional staring, pointing and being followed by a Chinese man taking pictures of me with a massive camera all the way around Beihai lake. Things I miss: I am definitely missing UK toilets. I don’t think that I will ever get used to the Chinese-style squatter! More importantly though I am already starting to miss Durham, particularly Castle formal and Klute! **** We would also like to take this time to say ‘hello’ to all our au-pairees who have not yet responded to us - we look forward to an enjoyable formal upon our return!*** Illustrations by Katherine Hurst floreatCastellum
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Meet the exec After a nail-biting season of brutal husting last year, this year’s Exec certainly earned their positions. Whether you’ve met them during Freshers’ Week, you’re their friend on Facebook, or you’re a slightly bemused fourth year wondering what’s going on, the main question is: do you know the real Exec?
Henry Winlow Senior Man
Degree: Economics Where you can find him: N17 Rumour has it ... Henry was offered a place in the British Paralympic Fencing Team. He turned it down.
Nicholas Edwards Vice-Senior Man
Degree : Law Where you can find him: N25 Rumour has it ... Nick performed as a child actor in Casualty at the age of 7, in which his only line was “where is the bathroom?”
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Jonathan Whittaker Treasurer
Degree: Mathematics Where you can find him: NG22 Rumour has it … From the ages of 4-9, Jonathan dressed in women’s clothing and only answered to the name Julie.
Zara McDonald
Campaigns Officer
Degree Programme: Economics Where you can find her: J28 Rumour has it … Zara once said “they thought I pissed in their fridge”. We can only hope that these unnamed people were poorly mistaken.
Monique Williams Services Manager
Degree: Geology Where you can find her: N19 Rumour has it … Monique is a vegan because of a traumatic experience with a rabbit. This reporter could get no further comment.
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Rowan Williams Bar Chair
Degree: Economics Where you can find him: N21 Rumour has it … Rowan had webbed feet before undergoing surgery to free his toes.
Pollyanna Mainds Vice Bar Chair
Degree: History Where you can find her: N23 Rumour has it … Polly spent a night in jail for aggressively protesting the fox hunting ban.
Rachel Scutt
Unions and Societies Officer
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Degree: History Where you can find her: N24 Rumour has it ... Rachel was born in the former Yugoslavia. She was forced to leave when her father was persecuted for being part of the tyrannical regime. She was then adopted by her current family and raised in the northeast; she just doesn’t know it yet. floreatCastellum
Catherine Chavez
Development Officer
Degree: Economics and Politics Where you can find her: Living Out, but often on Minstrels’ Rumour has it ... Catherine’s great uncle three times removed is the late Hugo Chavez.
Polly Swindells Welfare Officer
Degree: Education and Psychology Where you can find her: J27 Rumour has it ... Polly spent two years at a Buddhist camp in a remote part of China, before converting to Christianity.
Rosie Alexander Social Chair
Degree: Pyschology Where you can find her: N20 Rumour has it ... Rosie’s sister once appeared on the Jeremy Kyle show under the title “I’m not sure if my baby is mine.” For more details about what the Exec will actually be doing this year, access more about them here: http://www.castlejcr.com/the-jcr/jcr-exec/ floreatCastellum
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Guess Who? Believe it or not, some of our high powered exec were once quite cute and innocent... The question is, can you guess which cherub is which? 2
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Rowan Williams 1. Nicholas Edwards 2. Catherine Chavez 3.Zara McDonald 4. Polly Swindells 5.Rosie Alexander 6. Henry Winlow 7. Answers:
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Guide To That New Castle Over There By Laurence Holmes-Smith and Sarah Westlake ‘If Cool People in college are finding Durham too tame, perhaps Newcastle will provide them with the right environment to spread their wings.” Although Castle and Durham have plenty to provide in terms of social opportunities, our uni city can become a little claustrophobic at times due to its size and the fact that you will- inevitably- see everybody you could possibly want to see (or not, as the case may be) practically every day. The glamorous city of Newcastle can provide the perfect escape, and last year we, on many occasions, sampled its magical Geordie ways. Getting there Perhaps the biggest step in venturing out of Durham is working out how to. The best way to get to the Toon for a wild night out is certainly by train following a typically rambunctious pre drinks at a (livers in) Moatside kitchen (preferably S2, floor of dreams) or a (livers out) Viaduct property of your choice. P.S. Pre-ing really is key on a Newcastle night, as much as you may want to drink on the train, you will almost certainly be surrounded by families, tourists and dreary eyed city types, not other likeminded youth. P.P.S. Last train circa 10.30pm, price officially £4.30
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but the necessity of this is questionable. P.P.P.S. When looking for a more impromptu night out with your flatmates, consider coercing extras in to the evening by blindfolding them to the station (ignore locals that claim a mild hostage situation). See Tara McCarthy for more information. Bars and clubs a a Bio: Trebles bar. Advantages: 10 Jagers for £10 or 3 trebles for £5. Disadvantages: Rodeo Bull: Stranger to Westlake “You didn’t stay on that bull long enough for me to see up your skirt”. er er Bio: Like any other Tiger Tiger really… Advantages: Maze like layout of many floors including hidden karaoke room. Disadvantages: Nightmare when repping sober…
Flor ta a a e oo Bio: Bar/club. Drinking spot of Gaz and Vicky Advantages: High chance of seeing Geordie Shore Cast members. Disadvantages: High chance of seeing a red-haired Castleman weeing on the bar. er Bio: Club (arguably the best) Advantages: Picking up a random star of Casualty and bringing him back to Moatside S201 (GR). @petricejones Disadvantages: Bitch stares from Lucy Watson (Made in Chelsea, not the Castle graduate). tal Bio: Newcastle’s premium superclub, 6 rooms on 3 floors. If you can get past the
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obscene queues… Advantages: N/A (Never got in) Disadvantages: N/A Key events: Queues generally extend halfway back to Durham, think Loveshack Wednesdays. Westlake got a taxi to Klute. Holmes-Smith got a taxi to Newcastle Uni halls, three miles away. Other notable watering holes include: Tup Tup Palace (debatable), Riverside, Bijoux, Flares (dancing poles). Getting Back Getting back Note: Before making your way back to DH1, make sure to stop off at McDonald’s. If you are carless in Durham and thus cannot find your way to the glorious town of Pity Me, this may be your only chance to get your hands on this gourmet restaurant’s treats. Whilst you arrived by train, Newcastle to Durham by rail is no longer an option for your return. The most probable manner of return is by taxi. It is best to order while in McDonalds to minimise wait. While in the taxi, it is up to you to determine the level of Geordie impersonation you attempt - these taxi drivers can either take deep offence or engage in enthusiastic debate about the state of Sunderland F.C. For any further questions regarding a Newcastle night out please do not hesitate to get in touch with the Floreat team.
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Sharks and Piranhas Before we begin, I would like to take this unique opportunity to congratulate those who have made the list. Sharks and Piranhas has been advertised wrongly I believe. It is, in fact, a compliment, an accomplishment, but I wouldn’t put it on LinkedIn if you’re running low on experience. These hopeless romantics can be seen to be lurking around Durham’s finest establishments yearning to wake up in the right bed and join that 70% that marry fellow alumni. We can only dream.
Sharks
(from left to right)
HHS Enjoys cricket, cricket, and apparently just cricket. Harbord New HoS status has seen him blag himself a Ladies Night date before term even started. Barnaby Hodgkins Despite his restraint still woes hearts with lines such as: “I can’t just sleep with a girl, I would feel like I’d have to make her my girlfriend after.”
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Firth (Dynamic Duo) most likely to attack in Klute. Not related. Matt Kemp Try before you buy: Enjoy an array of naked snaps with a scenic Durham backdrop via Facebook. JJPhilpott Can be found sporting a DURFC kit around Maido this year.Gell Takes a slightly more romantic approach to his victims, previous courting has included: letters and an assortment of confectionary. Whitehouse Don’t know how he does it. Wells Apparently plays rugby. Jake Hibbert Would recommend.
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Pirhanas (from left to right) Anna Mora Groundwork to be started on Minstrels. Alice Patchett Groundwork also started on Minstrels. Sarah Westlake Attempting to follow her brothers legacy. Sophie Hicks Benefits include the perk of discounted quaddies. Hatty Ekbery 10/10.
‘I just want to be loved’
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Hannah Southern Disclaimer: Not as angelic as she seems. Aimee Duffy Apparently “You got Duff-ied.” Emily Sporik “Is it okay if I put you in Sharks and Piranhas?” “Hey hun, everyone knows what happens between the sheets of two (or more) castle rangers is open to discussion by the whole JCR so feature me away.” Hiwot Amenoshoa Comment unnecessary.
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Let’s Dance! by Will Throp
After getting plenty of practice at tearing up the Dance Floor during Freshers’ week, Will ‘pop the moves’ Throp gives you a step by step guide to explain how you too can perfect the art of busting shapes. “One must have chaos within oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star.” Thus spoke Friedrich Nietzsche… And he’s got a point. To dance is to express one’s innermost self. It’s carnal, it’s crude. Lewd and licentious. Dance is Escape. Physicality. Passion. Love. Longing. Loss… Ok, so I’m getting a little carried away. But seriously? You want to know how to dance? Follow right this way then, and let the piper lead you in his merry tune. Feel the beat “The rhythm of life is a powerful thing.” Something that is especially true when it comes to dancing. Your whole entity must be rooted in pure, unadulterated bassline. Unleash your inner love tigress, and be carried away on a hazy cosmic daze of thumping, heady palpitations. Jerk it. Twerk it. Work it. You can’t go wrong.
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It’s all in the hips Stanislavski was on to something. According to the great theatre practitioner, you’ve got to root your physical emphasis in a particular part of your body in order to give off the right signals. And let’s face it: since time immemorial, dancing has been inexplicably intertwined with one thing in particular… Sexuality. You’ve got to utilise your pelvis in any conceivable way you see fit. Given enough time, hard graft and commitment, your hips can give you the edge over everyone else on the D-floor. Proceed with caution though! You don’t want the UN Security Council getting all twitchy over your new WMD. Beyonce on acid As soon as you hit the club, this image should be an essential go-to for inspiration. If you’ve mastered the “Beyoncé on acid” move, then you’re well on your way towards receiving a criminal record for ‘legend’ status. It’s fair to say Miss Knowles knows more than a thing or two about how to use her ‘bootyliciousness’ to full effect. Watch the video for ‘Love on Top’ and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about… Oohh… Ahhh… DO. NOT. GRIND. This one’s for the chaps. Never, never, NEVER go for the grind. It’s a pathetic, futile attempt to impress members of the opposite sex. I don’t think I’ve ever met a girl who’s uttered the words, “yes, I was genuinely aroused by his scrawny, skeletal frame rubbing up against my back.” Leave it out.
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Accept Yourself Inhibition is a problem for most people. Here’s an interesting game to play: Step 1: Go to Klute, Step 2: Take a moment to look around you. What do you see? Step 3: If it’s not a hoard of middle-class, lukewarmly inebriated young people, desperate not to spend another night alone with their own thoughts (O cruel and bitter loneliness!), then revert back to step 1. I told you to go to Klute. This, I’m afraid to report, just about sums up the disagreeable dance we all stir our hearts and bodies in unison to. As such, you’ve got to be willing to accept the quite unique nature of the situation. Embrace it. “Dance like nobody’s watching”, they say, and they’re right. Of course, if you don’t like it, then there’s always the alternative of going outside and chatting to “that Chad’s-Monday-morning-seminar guy who you’ve never spoken to about anything, other than the mid-18th Century French proletariat.” But I warn you! There’s only one thing in Klute scarier than dancing… and that’s Conversation…
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Livers Out Nightmares Whilst Livers In seem to be settling into College life well, Livers Out don’t seem to be having such a great time in their new homes. When apparently ideal housemates turn into housemares, and when Castlemen are no longer pampered with cleaners and food, Floreat is here with open ears and a notepad at the ready... This household, upon moving into their new home, soon discovered that the previous tenants, had thought the best way to end their year was a ‘lose-your-deposit’ party. Think walls decorated with eggs, wardrobes without screws, and a missing shower door. One unlucky housemate was distressed to discover several dead pheasants hanging down from their quaint (read ‘dilapidated’) shed ceiling; apparently the best place to store game. These housemates were locked out of their house three times after several heavy nights during Freshers, due to their door handle deciding to break repeatedly. One house received a visit from their landlord who, in order to prevent the new tenants from fighting any potential fires, swiftly removed all of their fire extinguishers “for [their] own safety”. Upon leaving her bathroom in a towel, this Castleman was confronted by a bald, middle-aged man, who could only say “this is very hard to explain”. This housemate has had to uncomfortably and repeatedly listen to their housemates having sex - in one 24 hour period they were disturbed a total six times, including being woken up from deep sleep twice by some of the more rigorous sessions. floreatCastellum
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Yes, It Is Your Problem. So, you’ve all seen a video flying around Facebook of Hermione taking off her cloak, putting down her wand and giving a powerful speech to the UN on feminism. Josh Bailey has taken up the challenge to give the “He for She” speech a college and university wide twist in order to show Floreat that Hermione can make a big impact in our Castle as well. When Emma Watson said that “Gender equality is your issue, too” she touched on a truth that we are all aware of but all too frequently shy away from. Gender oppression affects us all and it is the burden of every person to end it. Her call to arms is also symbolic of a broader and current movement of change. Feminism is no longer confined to university classrooms and internet message boards. It is a populist, attention demanding movement. About time. Watson’s intervention is also - albeit coincidentally - timely as the new university year begins. With this fresh start comes change. One of those changes being made at Oxford are compulsory sexual consent classes. Issues of gender and sex are now finally at the forefront of universities up and down the country. However, sexism is still rife at university. The Tab has an almost daily stream of incidents wrapped up in the context of misogyny. If you don’t believe me, google ‘LSE rugby club’. Despite these more egregious examples, sexism at university also comes in a more subtle - and in this writer’s opinion - equally pernicious form: the all too familiar ‘casual sexism’. This is the nasty comments, bitterness of a rejection and harassment. But despite its viciousness, it seems to be permissible. This permissiveness seems to flow from the trite defence of ‘oh, it’s all just good fun, what’s the harm’. Well here’s the problem. This kind of ‘friendly’ sexism is some of the most dangerous as it makes sexism palatable: It lowers the bar of acceptableness.
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It is also a very clever form of nastiness because it is insulated against attack. When somebody eventually stands against some git objectifying women; the sexists reply with ‘it’s banter’ or ‘political correctness gone mad!’ These are effective, yet unacceptable, responses. Our duty is to call this behaviour out when we see it happening. In an intimidating and charged environment this is tough but it is regrettably the only remaining choice. Support those who speak out as it takes courage to confront someone who is willing to demonise them for a laugh. Watson said that she “want(s) men to take up this mantle so that their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice, but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too.” It’s no longer good enough to say, ‘that’s not my problem’. It is all of our problem. By Joshua Bailey
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Interrailing Over the summer, and decided they weren’t middle-class enough, so they went Interrailing. Of course they visited the major European must-sees, but they figured that you'd rather hear about some of the dos and don'ts that aren't in the guide books. Italy : Rome / Florence / Venice DO - Accept the fact that anywhere you go, you will inevitably bump into another twatty Durham student making a similar trip to you. (First hostel. First night.) DON'T - Not book a hostel, anticipating a night sleeping rough. You are not proving anything to anyone and it doesn't make you 'well 'ard' - just paranoid and overly tired the next morning. DON'T - Sit at the end of a Venetian pier to watch the sun go down and not expect people to think you're a gay couple. Slovenia : Lake Bled / Ljubljana DON'T - Try to argue with a Dutch waster who doesn't believe in global warming because "that's what the corporations want you to believe man!" DO - Trek up a perilously steep hill in complete darkness to watch an open air cinema showing of 'The Wolf of Wall Street.' Croatia : Split / Hvar DON'T - Try and be clever by planning to party all night without paying for accommodation, crashing at about 4am and subsequently having to spend another impromptu night sleeping on the street. Poland : Krakow / Katowice / Auschwitz DO - (If possible) Meet up with your mum and take advantage of her credit card to buy new trousers, a day trip to a concentration camp and multiple pirojkis. Hungary : Budapest DON'T - Visit a museum of Communist oppression on your birthday. Go to
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the zoo instead. DON'T - Go to a music festival for the day without arranging a rendezvous point beforehand. The mosh-pit of 'The Prodigy' is a wonderful place for a) releasing your primal urges b) getting mildly concussed and c) losing both your phone and travelling partner. DO - Use your contacts. Even if it's your 11 year old sister's boyfriend's dad. If he plays saxophone for Madness, get in touch! (We met Madness.) Czech Republic : Prague DO - Make friends with a bunch of Ozzy blokes on the hostel bar crawl by offering to buy a round of 10 jager shots for 400 koruna. DON'T - Get in the way when they threaten to 'sort out' a drunken Frenchman because he was a) drunk and b) French. Germany : Berlin DON'T - Argue with the bouncer of any nightclub. If he doesn't like your T-shirt; even if it is your favourite T-shirt, you're not getting in. End of story. Netherlands : AMsterdam / vespee DON'T - Go to one of the most bicycle-friendly cities in Europe with Dom Humphrey - he can't ride a bike. How embarrassing. DO - Stock up on Pringles, Stroopwafels and other snackables to come back to at the end of the day. Soaking up 'culture' in Amsterdam can be tiring and make a person very hungry... Getting Home : Schipol / NOT Paris / Antwerp / Calais / London DON'T - Be surprised when the final train reservation from Netherlands to Paris costs more money than all of the others on the trip combined. It can't have been that simple can it? No. Not when the French are involved. DO - Try to look at the funny side of sleeping rough yet again outside Antwerp station at 3am. With these tips, you should be well prepared to embark on your Inter-rail journey. Remember though; a month is a very long time to spend with anyone, even your best friend. Arguments will inevitably occur and eventually even little things will get on your nerves... like Mike. floreatCastellum
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The Durham Castle Society Recent graduate and new alumni officer Georgia Brooke-Hitching gives us an insight into an important college society you may know nothing about. “I remember when it was called the Sutton Site don’t you know…” “You’re a wizard Harry” “I’m a what?” “Sorry, I meant to say you’re a member of the Durham Castle Society, Harry.” It’s not something that gives you magic powers, but it is something you probably aren’t aware of… YOU are a member of the Durham Castle Society! I want you to cast your memory back to the time when you first received your welcome pack to Castle. Whether this was months or years ago, I bet there were so many things to think about as well as small charges for you to pay, that you probably paid most of them without asking too many questions. Among these was a subscription fee for the Durham Castle Society. Ring any bells? But what does this mean? Let me enlighten you… What Is It? The Durham Castle Society is really a club for all current members of Castle, and all those who have left Castle (alumni). It was founded in 1947 as a way for students to stay in touch with College after graduation, and this is done mainly through the annual reunion weekend and AGM in September, and the Photo: Annual Reunion Dinner annual news magazine, Castellum. floreatCastellum
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What Does It Do? Since it was founded, it has grown into more than just a community of Castle alumni, and also helps to support the JCR with small grants and loans. In 1990 it established the University College Durham Trust so it could invest what it had and make more to be able to support the College. The Trust is an independent charitable fund, which is comprised of generous donations from Castle alumni who wished to give back to the College. Whether this be a monthly direct debit, a one off gift, or a legacy, these donations are what allow the college to give loans and grants to the JCR. What Has the DCS and Trust Done For Me? The DCS and Trust have supported many projects at Castle, these include extending the Lowe Library, the renovation of the Keep and Junction, renovation of the JCR and West Courtyard areas, the restoration of the Tunstall Chapel, and they even contributed to the building of Moatside. The Society has also donated to the College Prize Fund and the Boat Club. Below you can see the original brochure for the appeal to alumni for the ‘Sutton Site’ (Moatside Court) Development. Photo: Original brochure for the appeal to alumni for the ‘Sutton Site’ (Moatside Court) Development What Happens When I Leave? As of September 2014, the membership fee is for life. Therefore there are no renewal fees, unless you want to receive a hard copy of Castellum every year, in which case you can pay £10 per year. On leaving you also receive a special Alumni Card which allows you to return to Castle and use the Undie whenever it is open. You will also be invited to the annual reunion weekend as well as various other reunion events throughout the year. For more news and information, visit the Castle Society website: www.castlealumni.uk or if you have any questions, email Georgia at castle.alumni@durham.ac.uk floreatCastellum
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Ladies of castle For all of you returning students, the time has come to unveil the most eagerly anticipated list of the year. For those of you who are bright eyed and bushy tailed freshers, prepare yourselves as Floreat brings to you it's definitive list of the most desirable ladies and gentleman of Castle in the most recognised, respected and revered article of them all; Fittest Freshers. (Disclaimer: not scientifically accurate - or else GG would be #1 XOXO)
10. “Fit” (B.H. 56 Highgate).
7. “A Pocket Rocket.” (Courtesy of Dom Humphrey)
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9. The stunning legacy continues.
6. *See right.* floreatCastellum
8. It won’t be long until this beauty is riding more than just waves.
5. Having caught the eye of another number V, will this duo be crowned the power couple of freshers?
2. Preparing to board this not-so Easyjet? Don’t be so sure - rumoured high-flying bf. #gutted
4.. A taste for champagne and class suggests our most eligible bachelors need to watch out.
1. Foxy lady.
3. Urban Dictionary ‘Shona’ “you’re so pretty, you must be a Shona”
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Gentlemen of castle Now for the gents; get ready ladies, because we’re about to tell you who to keep an eye on from within this year’s crop of new Fresher talent... (65:35 ... competition is going to be fierce).
8. A certain member of our editorial board claims that after a couple of shots of vodka ‘she’d tap that’.
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10.
9.
Not technically a fresher but Girls enjoy, but beware of this DILF from the MCR the go pro. couldn’t go unnoticed.
7. We can only guess where that tongue will be next. floreatCastellum
6. We can’t wait to see if his name lives up to expectations…
V. A certain fittest girl has her eyes on this puzzling hunk. 2. We’d let this GB rider mount us anyday. Earplugs required.
4. Who will he deflower next?
1.
3. More like demi-God.
Better Bodge. Rumour has it this fresher has peaked a certain editors interest. “10/10” (GG) floreatCastellum
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Classic
Castle
It’s true, Castlemen certainly live up to their stereotypes. Emily Sporik and Isaac Turner have assembled the most sigh-worthy snapshots of college life in this no-holds-barred expose ...
Rumour has it you can’t get into Castle without a family crest.
When your fellow Castlemen look like Bullingdon Club rejects.
A Castleman really getting to the core of CCA’s homeless division ethos.
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Recent graduate struggles to understand Castle’s ‘work hard, play hard’ motto.
The amount of times you get sent this on Snapchat...
Says it all really... floreatCastellum
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF CASTLE Welcome to Gossip Girl. For those of you who don't know me...well let's be realistic, for those of you who have only recently heard of me, allow me to introduce myself. I am the source of scandal, the den of debauchery, the gate keeper of gossip. The only college news worth knowing can be found right here. Some of you, the ones worth knowing about, will get to know me better over the course of the year, whether through submission of your saucy secrets, the keen eyes of my covert spies or as a result of your friends lose lips. You can't hide from me...I'm omniscient bitch. I'd like to extend a thank you to all my informers so far, and an encouragement to all those who kept their silence to embrace the Gossip Girl spirit and keep me posted of any illicit incidents throughout the year - I am always happy to hear from you. P.S. A word to those individuals who are daring to use my title to describe others....there's only one sassy bitch in this castle and you better remember that.
You know you love me ... XOXO
gossip girl
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When frep and WILLfare collide it not only brings fun to freshers week but also a T(hr)opic of interest to those of us who love scandal. LUCYing their inhibitions once they were finally allowed to drink, these two budding Beyonces have been seen Mill(er)ing around together quite a lot since freshers week ended. Heartwarming to see you've both found someone to practice the tongue tango with! I would be surprised if you didn't Cee(lia) what was going on in Klute after the first parent formal. One, particularly senior, gentleman's Win(low)ing smile worked for him this time, but, the question is: (Dur)kan he entice this Northern Irish redhead again? Not to be outdone by the senior mans E(dward)scapades, another eye-Cat-ching exec member managed to complete the ultimate conquest in per year Mon the less! Well done (wal)Ser! cAn(na) you believe this saucy second year, one castleman in one night was clearly not enough. A warning to all college parents - lock up your sons and throw away the Ke(ith)s! As Kool and the Gang once sang, 'oh yes it's ladies night, and the feeling's right' - but not if your date is stolen! Such Krass behaviour was not well received, Ermm(a).....awkward! One second year obviously thought incest was best after freshtival and escorted his inCrellinably fiesty college daughter back to his Holme(s). Sometimes our bodies don’t care that we are mere steps from our front door. When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. One Klathy lady decided that she simply could wait. This girl needs a Pat(el) on the back for bravery. WINner winner chicken dinner! This culinary star was struggling to STANd home cooked meal in the early hours. Hoping that a way into a woman's heart (and her bed) is thorough her stomach....Next time maybe have a look at a list of aphrodisiacs - you can send chocolate strawberries to Gossip HQ anytime. Under the light of the Moon, on the eve of the rugby initiation, one gentleman was being sent home covered in his own vomit after being Willingly punched in the stomach. My advice is to save the physical injuries for the pitch boys!
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THE BACK PAGE Here at Floreat, we don’t like to take ourselves too seriously. We’ve scoured the darkest corners of the team’s Facebook pages to show that we are prepared to get as good as we give.
Duuuuuuude.
BUCKAROO. #wherescelia
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, Floor.
Oooooh Maddy.
You stay classy Emily.
Classic Westlake. One Angry Bird. “Could I BE more enthusiastic?”
THIS ISSUE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: Joshua Bailey, Mike Bedigan, Georgia Brooke-Hitching, Emily Brown, Jess Christy, Celia Durkan, Gossip Girl, Laurence Holmes-Smith, Katherine Hurst, Jane Markey, Krassi Petrova, Emily Sporik, Will Throp, Isaac Turner, Maddy Vincent, Harriet Walsh, Sarah Westlake and Natasha Yadav.
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“People like me don't write books, they're written about" - Chuck Bass