Agenda 060916 issue 342 by Multi-Media Platforms

June 09, 2016

News Briefs Go to floridaagenda.com for other exclusive stories.

Treasurer to disclose lawsuits over LGBT law to bond buyers

Hawaii DOE presents new transgender friendly student guidelines

HONOLULU (AP) - Hawaii education officials have released new guidelines they say are meant to help state schools better address the needs of transgender students. The state Department of Education’s policies regarding transgender students have been in the works since last year and were presented to the Board of Education Tuesday. Under the proposed guidelines, students are allowed to use restrooms and locker rooms that align with their gender identity and staff is encouraged to address students by their preferred names and pronouns.

Excluded groups say they should be part of UN AIDS meeting

NEW YORK (AP) - Gay, transgender and other groups blocked from participating in a high-level U.N. meeting on AIDS represent the populations most affected by the disease and should take center-stage at the event, advocates said Tuesday. Nearly two dozen civil society organizations from five continents that provide services for LGBT communities, intravenous drug users and others have been denied access to the three-day General Assembly meeting starting Wednesday at the request of Russia, Cameroon, Tanzania and 51 Muslim countries. Under U.N. rules, any of the 193 member countries can veto the participation of any non-governmental organization without providing a reason.

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Kenneth Cole named UNAIDS international goodwill ambassador

UNITED NATIONS (AP) - The head of the U.N.’s AIDSfighting organization has named fashion designer Kenneth Cole as a new international goodwill ambassador. The appointment by UNAIDS chief Michel Sidibe comes on the eve of the U.N. General Assembly meeting on ending AIDS June 8-10. Cole has long been involved in the global effort to end HIV and AIDS. He told reporters at a news conference on Tuesday he hopes to marry his United Nations work with the work of the amfAR foundation and its goal of finding a cure for the disease by 2020. Cole joined amfAR’s board in 1987 where he initiated public awareness campaigns and later became chairman. nn

Gay Rugby’s Bingham Cup won by Melbourne Chargers

NASHVILLE--The Melbourne Chargers have won the 2016 Bingham Cup, held in Nashville from May 26-29, 2016. The Bingham Cup is the world championship of gay rugby and is one of the largest Rugby Union tournaments in the world. nn

RALEIGH, NC (AP) - As North Carolina executive leaders move forward with a $2 billion borrowing initiative, the Office of the Treasurer is providing full disclosure to lenders about pending lawsuits surrounding the state’s new law limiting antidiscrimination policies for LGBT people. The Council of State on Tuesday unanimously approved the first $200 million of bonds aimed at infrastructure and education projects to be issued and sold beginning in July. “North Carolina bonds have always been very highly sought after,” she said. “We do have disclosures in full acknowledgement that there could be some economic impact.” nn

Activists file suit challenging Tennessee counseling law

CLINTON, TN(AP) --Two gay rights activists have filed a lawsuit challenging a new Tennessee law that lets therapists decline to see patients based on religious values and personal principles. Bleu Copas is an Anderson County man who says he was discharged from the Army under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Caleb Laieski is an activist from Virginia. Their lawsuit was filed Tuesday in Anderson County Chancery Court. It claims the new law targets gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, violating the right to equal treatment guaranteed by the Tennessee Constitution. nn

VA school board to ask justices to review transgender case

Ryan clamps down after LGBT rights plan sank energy bill

WASHINGTON (AP) - House Speaker Paul Ryan - who’s in charge of the GOP-run House - is cracking down on Democrats’ ability to win floor votes on hotly contested issues such as LGBT rights. The move means Ryan is reneging on a promise to protect the rights of lawmakers to take on a wide range of issue when the House debates annual spending bills. Last month, when the House debated a spending bill, Democrats push through a plan to bar federal contractors from discriminating against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. nn

RICHMOND, VA(AP)--A Virginia school board says it will ask the U.S. Supreme Court to review a lower court decision allowing a transgender student to use the boys’ restrooms at his school. The Gloucester County School Board divulged its plans in papers filed Tuesday with the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, calling the case “one of national significance.” The full appeals court last week refused to reconsider a 2-1 panel decision in favor of 16-year-old Gavin Grimm. The decision is now on hold until the Supreme Court decides whether to take the case. nn June 09, 2016

[ JUST ADAM

The week reflected back through fabulously funny eyes

TODAY’S SHOPPING LIST. Searching for in no particular order, a heart, a soul, a boyfriend/ sugar daddy, and some cleaning supplies. WHERE DID CUSTOMER SERVICE GO? Dollar stores make me cry for the sake of humanity. There is only one cashier, 79 waiting customers, and 15 people stocking shelves that have no idea that there is one cashier with 79 people waiting. KWEENS! LISTEN! LEARN! TAKE NOTES IF YOU MUST. In this gentle summer season in Florida affectionately known as swamp ass season for obvious reasons, and where everyone sweats as much as Whitney Houston’s hologram, this is an amazing product. (Mario Badescu Skincare) Refreshing with aloe rose, and other gay herbs. Now you may look as queeny as John Travolta’s dildo while driving down I-95, spraying your face. F*ck the world, we are a higher level of species. MY NEW HUSBAND’S NAME. Politics aside, I must admit. I think the best name ever on earth is Jake Tapper. Say it a few times. It rolls off your tongue like a delicious dollop of butter! “Hello, who are you? Why hello, I’m Jake Tapper.” See! SOUTH FLORIDA STYLE. Even though it’s nothing but a cluster f*ck of traffic and weird roadways, there’s just something magical about saying, “I’m approaching the GOLDEN GLADES INTERCHANGE!” It sounds like a now-defunct Las Vegas casino hotel where the Rat Pack would hang out, and Lauren Bacall would hold court with a martini and cigarette. FOOD FOR THOUGHT. Sometimes I just love to read articles on Wikipedia for fun. So I started looking up a couple of those crazy conspiracy theories, like the tragic Sandy hook shooting was an inside job or that we never landed on the moon. But this has to be the best one I’ve ever seen, Princess Diana and the Bush family were evil shape shifting alien reptiles! YAAASSS shape shifter!!!! Lol STAY HYDRATED KWEEN! He was just dehydrated thank God! Too much sweating with the oldies! By the way, you know Richard Simmons is one of the top forces in the gay illuminati. One night in the hospital and you know that within an hour, there were mountains of exquisite cakes, pies and other baked goods assembled by his fans, all named Carol and Peggy from Omaha that mobilized a tactical maneuver more technical than D-Day! THINGS I WANT TO KNOW. Who picks these hurricane names? Every name they have picked peaked in popularity around 1960! Bonnie, Wilma, Jeanne, Francis??? It sounds like a roster for a rural mid-western church book club.

Adam Cohen is South Florida’s favorite and most fabulous social commentator. He’s also single. Find him on Facbook to keep up with his hilarious take on the week’s headlines. 6

June 09, 2016

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING...

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Random thoughts from social media and beyond this week Absolutely Fabulous star Joanna Lumley about her iconic character, Patsy Stone, will come out as transgender. Lumley said, “You go back and pick through the series, the amount of gay references and ease with which it’s was put into the story, without it being dragged along like a great log of plot. It’s completely normal that Patsy is transgender.”

Army Reserve officer from the District of Columbia was crowned Miss USA 2016, Deshauna Barber, a 26-yearold gave this answer during the interview section. “We are just as tough as men. As a commander of my unit, I’m powerful, I am dedicated and it is important that we recognize that gender does not limit us in the United States.”

Daniel Rodriguez, 23, beat out 47 other contestants to win the Mr. Spain Pageant and his declaration on being openly gay was big news in Spain. When asked whether a gay man should be crowned Mr. Spain he replied, “A homosexual can be as manly as a heterosexual. I can easily seduce women, though I choose not to.” Lobbyist Tim Wildmon says the US should launch a campaign to dissuade people from gay sex like it does with sugary drinks. “Even though it’s very provable that engaging in homosexual activity is dangerous to your health, in the same way that smoking is, or too much sugar is, or anything of that nature.”

Longtime LGBTQ ally Dolly Parton, “I think everybody should be treated with respect. I don’t judge people. I try not to get too caught up in the controversy of things. I hope that everybody gets a chance to be whom and what he or she is. I just know if I have to pee, I’m going to pee, I don’t care where it’s going to be.”

Wilton Manors resident Kimber White says on Facebook, “Ok, I heard both secretary Clinton and Trump tonight speak. She is head and shoulders above him. He is an angry bigot period, a true good ole boy. If these are the two candidates Hillary Clinton will be president. The angry tea party, right wing zealots have taken the Republican Party hostage and will set it back many years. I have never worked vigorously for any candidate except Ronald Reagan but I can tell you I will this time for Hillary Clinton. I do not want my grandchildren to grow up thinking it’s ok to be a bully, a bigot, and look down on people and be nasty to women or discriminate. I can say Hillary was not my choice but for our country self respect and my grandchildren I will support her. Trump is just horrible.” June 09, 2016

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COVER STORY DURING FILMING AT THEIR HOME

BY RICHARD HACK

June 09, 2016

Candy Pants: Documentary follows local lovers who created 50-year-old iconic edible underwear

Candy Pants—the original edible underwear—has found itself the subject of a documentary from director and writer Francis Gaspirini. Gaspirini happened upon the story on a local Los Angeles NPR show called Good Food. And while it’s hard to think of edible underwear as “food,” the product did, in fact, get featured on the show. “They occasionally do off-beat stories,” Gaspirini said, and Candy Pants certainly fits that mold.

It was the producer of Good Food that found the product’s inventors, Lee Brady and David Sanderson, living happily sipping cold drinks by their pool in a Glenn Wright home in Wilton Manors. Amazingly, the creation of Candy Pants isn’t the pair’s most amazing achievement. These guys originally met at a party in Chicago during the blizzard of 1967, and after two weeks of dating, moved in together. Next year, they’ll celebrate their 50th anniversary. In the gay world that makes them rare enough, but couple that with the fact that they lived in a 25-room haunted mansion in the Windy City with an ever-changing assortment of roommates populating the place. Add the invention of Candy Pants and immediately understand that Gaspirini hit pay dirt with this tale. “Their relationship,” Gaspirini says, “has spanned the history of gay rights in the United States.” And, of course, he’s right. In Chicago, 1967, there were gay bars, but you did not go around holding hands—or even shaking them if you were smart. Gays navigating them at their own risk. Every gay bar in town in those days had at least one undercover cop among the patrons who was ready, willing and able to bring the whole place down to the police station if anyone even looked like they were flirting. “When I first met David, he began downloading his life to me, and it was a little much for me to not even get a word in. I guess I was the more reserved one,” Lee says, before adding the David is “full of energy and vigor.” One can just imagine, since it was David’s young gay brother who was the original inspiration for Candy Pants. “Instead of saying ‘f*ck off,’ my brother

used to say ‘eat my shorts.’ So, we were all sitting around one night and I thought, ‘We ought to make underwear we can eat.’ Everyone laughed, expect me. We definitely thought of it as a joke and a parady, and it took forever to figure out how to make it.” When they finally did, they put Candy Pants in a local bath shop, where the very first person to buy a pair happened to be a writer who released information about the edible underwear to the wire services. At one point, the boys were making $150,000 a month by selling Candy Pants around the globe—ultimately selling the company and the patent to the mob. (It’s a perfect fit, to hear David and Lee explain it.) The pair shared the secret of their long relationship, crediting it to adding an assortment of third parties into their mix-and-match.

p 1970S PHOTO OF LEE AND DAVID

“Lee and David would form these triads where they would have very intense relationships with a third person,” adds Gaspirini. “Some of them were mentor relationships, some were romantic and sexual, and one was even a woman.” “She’s our very best friend,” said David. “I met her when I was shoplifting some trinkets from a thrift shop owned by some older gay guys. And so was she.” As it happens, the owners accepted their lighthandedness to encourage them to follow them downstairs into a basement where they had a little tea parlor set up. “Christina—that’s our best friend’s name— she came down into the basement and we all got to know each other.” Such was the way back in the day.

p EDIBLE UNDERWEAR

“David brought Christina back to his place,” said Lee, “and I had just moved in. I had only known him for a week, but David gave me a key to his apartment, and low and behold he walked in with Christina who kind of an Audrey Hepburn look. The three of us have really open minds.” That much goes without saying. Candy Pants, the documentary, is still in the shooting process, and more information about the project can be found at http:// www.documentary.org/film/candypantsfairy-tale. nn

p PRODUCT PACKAGING

June 09, 2016

ElEction 2016

Hillary Wins California Primary; Becomes LGBT White House Hopeful

LOS ANGELES—Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton handedly won the Democratic primary in California on Tuesday, scoring 58% of the popular vote against Bernie Sanders’ 42%. That win was enough to give Clinton an additional 269 delegates to anoint her as the presumptive nominee at the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia next month. In addition to California, Clinton also won decisive victories in New Jersey and New Mexico, but it was the giant delegate count in the Golden State that had the Associated Press declaring on Monday night that Clinton was not only going to capture California but the nomination as well. For gay, lesbian and transgender voters, the certainty of a campaign that included an LGBT friendly candidate is not enough to insure a large voter turnout. What is far more likely to energize the Democratic base is that Donald Trump, the presump12

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tive Republican candidate, has offended many within the US with his religious, sexual and gender bigotry. From her campaign headquarters in Brooklyn, New York, Clinton first clasp her hands over her heart in thanks to her supporters and then thrust them skyward in a V for victory. At this point, voters are only one primary (District of Columbia) and the conventions away from an expected spirited campaign which will likely be fraught with Trump’s hypercritical excesses. He has already said he believes that Clinton should be jailed and that she and her husband the former President Bill Clinton had “turned the politics of personal enrichment into an art form for themselves.” For her part, Hillary Clinton has repeatedly downplayed Trump’s preparedness for the role as commander in chief of the US, as well as its president, charging “he wants to win by stoking fear and rubbing salt into wounds.” nn

A PUBLICLY-TRADED LGBTQ COMPANY STOCK SYMBOL: MMPW corporate

ROBERT S. WEISS CEO

Peter C. Frank Chief Financial Officer

Kevin Hopper VP l Operations

Michael Turner President l Media Ventures

Maura “Mumball” Lane VP l Sales & Marketing

Dennis Dean VP l Creative

Richard Hack VP l Content

Keith Chamlee Corporate Circulation Director

Frank Perez Director of Accounting

Robert “Bobby” Blair Founder & Chairman of the Board

PASSAGES Pride Center Founder Alan E. Schubert, 69 Alan E. Schubert, age 69, lost his fight with cancer on June 1, 2016. His spouse, Robert Suzuki, and his twin sister, Barbara Fields, were at his side. According to his family, Schubert attended the University of Illinois, Chicago Circle Campus. In 1974, he founded Labor World, a temporary help provider in Chicago which quickly became a leader in the industry. Schubert moved to South Florida in August of 1984, where his philanthropic efforts set standards for the gay and straight communities. For many, his most lasting accomplishment is the founding of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center, now known as the Pride Center at Equality Park. The Pride Center has grown to a 5 ½ acre Center with over 35,000 square feet of meeting space. Alan Schubert shared his wealth and time to fight the battle of HIV/AIDS

decades before Bill Gates came up with the ideal of The Giving Pledge, and his legacy will continue forever because of it. A Celebration of Life event will be announced. nn

Thom Leffler, age 66 WILTON MANORS—Retired clothier and philanthropist Thom Leffler died at the age of 66. Leffler was born in Whitmore Lake, MI, to Raymond and Jayne Wells Leffler. A history major at Albion College, he went into his father’s clothing business, eventually renaming the company Thom Leffler Importer Haberdashery Clothier, headquartered in Birmingham, Michegan. Before retiring to South Florida, Leffler was known to host lavish charity events in his home state, including an annual Toys for Tots Christmas party. In Fort Lauderdale, Laffler continuously raised funds for the South Florida Symphony Orchestra, the Pride Center at Equality Park, and Equality Florida. His friend Joel Slotnick told the Florida Agenda, “I had the honor of knowing Thom over 20 years. We first became friends at MCC. Thom was a man truly “dedicated to the cause,” and

for many, many years devoted time, talent & treasure to the community at large. His laughter and smile will be missed and remembered too, by many. Let us all raise a glass of wine to Thom!” A celebration of Laffler’s life will be held on Thursday, June 9, 2016, from 2 pm to 5 pm at the Pride Center, 2040 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL. The Kalis-McIntee Funeral Home is in charge of services. nn June 09, 2016

June 09, 2016

OPINION DR. DURRELL’S SPIRITUAL PRESCRIPTIONS

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WE’RE NOT DONE YET equality, the first woman bishop in the worldwide Anglican Communion (Barbara Harris), gays accepted into most major seminaries in the US, multiple Christian and Jewish denominations ordaining same-gender loving people and blessing same-gender loving marriages. What an amazing time to be alive! Of course, there is still a lot work to do. Homophobia, transphobia, anti-Semitism, Islamaphobia, misogyny, xenophobia, and racism are still with us and those social ills continue to plague our nation and threaten to slow our progress. There remains in our society a great deal of misinformation about bisexuality. There has been growing animosity toward transgender and gender non-conforming people. Immigrants are still scape-goated and Muslims are openly demonized. AIDS still has no cure. There is ageism and body shaming within the gay community. There is work to do to make our community, our society, our nation, our world healthier, better, kinder, and more inclusive. And yet, as we say at Sunshine Cathedral, “the future has infinite possibilities.”

We cannot ever think that everything is good enough; but, we can acknowledge and celebrate the things that are better...things that my grandparents, and for much of their lives, my parents would have never dreamed possible. June of this year is the 35th anniversary of the first documented cases of AIDS, and now, there are treatments that are keeping people with HIV alive. June is the month when LBGT Pride celebrations seem ubiquitous. In my adult life, I lived in states where demonstrating my love and attraction for men was actually criminal. Now, same-gender loving people have marriage equality. It is appropriate to spend June thinking of firsts and breakthroughs and progress. It is also appropriate, and necessary to acknowledge where things are not yet good enough and to recommit to working for “liberty and justice for all.” And most of all, it is appropriate and necessary to have hope that things will continue getting better and better. Look at what we’ve done in just a few decades! And we aren’t nearly done yet. nn Durrell Watkins holds a Master of Divinity degree from Union Theological Seminary in NYC and a Doctor of Ministry degree from the Episcopal Divinity School. He is the senior minister of the Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale.

PAUL BERGE

In my lifetime, I have seen the first woman Supreme Court justice appointed (Sandra Day O’Connor), the first woman Secretary of State appointed (Madeline Albright), the first woman Attorney General appointed (Janet Reno), the first woman vice-presidential candidate of a major party (Geraldine Ferraro), the first African American president By Rev. (Barak Obama), the first Durrell Jewish person to come in Watkins a fairly close second for a major party’s presidential nomination (Bernie Sanders), the first First Lady to be elected to congress (Hillary Clinton) and the first woman presidential nominee of a major party (Hillary Clinton). In this same lifetime (months short of half a century so far), I have lived to see marriage

What’s your opinion?

The Florida Agenda welcomes signed Letters to the Editor, up to 400 words in length, on topics of general interest to our readers. You may e-mail submissions to Editor@ mmplgbt.com. We welcome comments on our Facebook page also. June 09, 2016

CAPITOL BEAT

Willy is Still in the Closet, but Thanks to

EDIE WINDSOR, Many Are Not

Willy has taken on a lot of identities over the years. His only problem now is that he is still in the closet. Specifically, he is in Edie Windsor’s closet and that is because she put him there. Willy began life as a doll, clutched in the hands of a young girl fleeing the coming Nazi invasion of The Netherlands during World War II. Then he became a man, an imaginary one, created by Windsor to hide her lesbian relationship with Willy’s owner, Thea Spyer. BY “When I LINDA met and fell in love with PENTZ Thea, I pretended there was a man named Willy in my life,” recalled Windsor during a speech she made to a rapt audience at last month’s American Military Partners Association gala dinner. Windsor, pretended, she said, because while working at IBM in New York shortly after getting her masters in mathematics, “I lied about my life.” Later, she said, once acceptance of gays and lesbians was more widespread, some of her former colleagues asked her why she never came to weekend com16

June 09, 2016

pany outings like wine tastings? “And my answer was ‘because I was queer,’” said Windsor matter-of-factly. Now, “my Thea is gone but Willy still lives in my closet,” Windsor continued, to ironic laughter. Windsor doesn’t need Willy anymore and she is long out of the closet. And a big reason for all of this is Windsor herself. The landmark United States v. Windsor Supreme Court decision, on June 26, 2013, found section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional. Windsor had sought to claim the federal estate tax exemption for surviving spouses after inheriting the late Spyer’s estate after her death in 2009 — the two had been legally married in Canada. Overturning section 3 of DOMA effectively recognized her claim, their marriage and gave full federal recognition to legally married gay and lesbian couples everywhere. That momentous change was a long way from the early days when Windsor recalled going to a government hearing that required security clearance. She wasn’t quite sure what being found out as lesbian might do for her career but she had a pretty good idea. “I quickly looked up in a book regarding the laws of gay and lesbian people in the USA,” she said. “My state, New York state,

said the only thing illegal was to imitate a man.” To ensure no such accusation she went to the hearing “ wearing crinolines and spiked heels.” After Windsor, as her landmark case is forever known, “what was still missing?” Windsor asked. One was the absence of marriage equality in every state, she observed. “The other thing still lacking was the recognition that marriage is a constitutional right.” Two years later, in deciding for the plaintiffs in Obergefell v. Hodges, the Supreme Court took care of both. Today Windsor has one golden rule. “Note that I do not use the term ‘same sex marriage.’ It is marriage,” she said. “We don’t have a separate kind of marriage in this country. To my knowledge, no country does. My personal request — never use the expression. And when possible, object to its use.” After all, using the phrase can prove fatal. “Ted Cruz recently used it in a number of talks about getting rid of us,” said Windsor. “Fortunately, we got rid of him.” nn Linda Pentz is the Washington correspondent of the Florida Agenda. She can be contacted at lindapentz@mmplgbt.com. Follow her on Twitter @CapitolAgenda

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FYI

I’M JUST SAYIN’ Edith “Edie” Windsor (born June 20, 1929) is an American lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights activist and a former technology manager at IBM. She was the lead plaintiff in the Supreme Court of the United States case, United States v. Windsor.

EDITH “EDIE” WINDSOR Windsor met Thea Spyer, a psychologist, in 1963 at Portofino, a restaurant in Greenwich Village, both were already in relationships. They occasionally saw each other at events over the next two years, but it was not until the late spring of 1965 that they began dating each other. To help keep the relationship a secret from her co-workers, Windsor invented a relationship with Spyer’s fictional brother Willy — who was actually a childhood doll — to explain Spyer’s phone calls to the office. In 1967, Spyer asked Windsor to marry, although it was not yet legal in the United States. Fearing that a traditional engagement ring might expose Windsor’s sexual orientation to her coworkers, Spyer instead proposed with a circular diamond pin. Six months after getting engaged, Windsor and Spyer moved in together. In 1968, they purchased a small house on Long Island together, where they vacationed the following forty summers. nn --Kevin Broady

June 09, 2016

CREEP OF THE WEEK

Louie Gohmert BY D’ANNE WITOWSKI

A few months ago, I watched The Martian starring Matt Damon as an astronaut who crash lands on Mars and is left for dead. Only he isn’t dead, everybody just thinks he is. I was exhausted and couldn’t stay awake, but I’m pretty sure that he has to drink his own pee and perform Mr. Wizard space-magic feats in order to save himself. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t die. And do you know why he doesn’t die? Because he wasn’t a homo, that’s why. Because you know what? Mars is no place for homos. Or so says Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, the Dumbest Man in Congress. In a speech on the House floor in late May, Gohmert wonders aloud what would happen if, say, a meteor hit the earth and wiped out humans, “as dinosaurs were ended at one time.” But never fear, he’s got a plan. “OK, we’ve got a space ship that can go, as Matt Damon did in the movie, plant a colony somewhere. We can have humans survive this terrible disaster about to befall. If you could decide what 40 people you put on the space craft that would save humanity, how many of those would 18

June 09, 2016

be same-sex couples?” Huh. Forty is a pretty specific number. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gohmert has a prototype of this spaceship in a barn somewhere. “You’re wanting to save humankind for posterity,” he continues. “You have that ability to be a modern day Noah. You can preserve life. How many same-sex couples would you take from the animal kingdom and from humans to put on a space craft to perpetuate humanity and the wildlife kingdom?” Fun thought experiment! OK, here goes: I would choose all same-sex couples, specifically lesbians, in the hope that we could turn Mars into a modern day Themyscira. As for animals, we’d just bring rescues, mostly blind cats, three-legged dogs and severely emaciated horses we would nurse back to health. Do I win? Seriously, though. Gohmert is talking about the remote possibility that humans will be wiped out by a big space rock and that this disaster will spur them to colonize Mars on a spaceship that carries less than four dozen people. How many of those people would be gay? Who the fuck cares? Because LGBT people exist in real life,

on planet Earth, right now. And we’re not going away. Ah, yes. But that’s the problem. “(When) we continue to prohibit the free exercise of religion, we don’t have much longer to go,” Gohmert says. So that’s what this is all about. This whole “religious freedom” fight where Christian conservatives have convinced themselves that any civil rights afforded LGBT people are a direct attack on their “right” to hurt people for Jesus. “God wants us to discriminate!” they holler. They’re fucking delusional. Gohmert also apparently doesn’t realize that lesbians and gays have kids, too. True, two men can’t make a baby together by themselves, but has Gohmert ever heard of sperm donors? Surrogate mothers? I mean, just because you’re a lesbian doesn’t mean your womb shrivels up and dies. Say, maybe my Themyscira idea could come true after all. If, in this scenario, we can get a spaceship to Mars, think of how advanced reproductive technology would be by then! Careful what you wish for, Gohmert. And keep dreaming the big dreams -- just maybe next time write them down in a journal instead of wasting time on the House floor. nn

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OPINION

WHO IS?

Moving to Mars Humans may only travel to Mars in sci-fi films such as The Martian right now, but NASA aims to put a man on the red planet in the 2030s. The space agency has now summarised its ambitious three-phase plan in a report named Journey to Mars: Pioneering next steps in space exploration. It says that the journey crosses three thresholds, each with increasing challenges as humans move farther from Earth. The first step in getting astronauts to Mars, some 33.9 million miles (54.6 million km) from Earth, is already in progress, with astronauts and Russian cosmonauts living aboard the International Space Station (ISS) for a year to collect data on how their bodies and minds cope. Secondly NASA will launch a series of deep space missions within a decade, which will test the technology necessary for carrying massive loads to Mars. The mission will also be used to test an advanced solar electric propulsion system that will be a critical component of our journey to Mars. This test will be sometime in 2018, on a seven-day-long, uncrewed journey around the moon. Putting astronauts on Mars is the third ‘Earth Independent’ phase of the plan and will be informed by knowledge gained by human missions on the space station, so they could survive expeditions lasting months and one day even years. These challenges are solvable, and NASA and its partners are working on the solutions every day so we can answer some of humanity’s fundamental questions about life beyond Earth. nn --- Kevin Broady

June 09, 2016

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SPECIAL FEATURE

To Our Seniors:

Thanks and Stand Proud BY DARIUS DUPINS

Turning 25 to anyone under the age of 18 sounds like death a sentence. Turning 36 to anyone under the age of 25 just sounds like wind in an empty hallway – lonely. We all get old and according to Bette Davis, “old age ain’t no place for sissies.” Well, Miss Davis, sissies get old too, regardless if it’s not a place for them. All of this is said because the gay men and women that paved the way for the younger generation to be able to live their lives with dignity and honor have gotten older and feel neglected. Why? Old age. If you think about it, our film icon was right. Old age isn’t a place for sissies or at least it’s a place that does not treat them as well as the land of young once had. Pride is in full swing around the world and is a time to acknowledge and celebrate all of the accomplishments that have been achieved in and for the LGBT community. To be quite honest, we’ve been doing our forefathers a disservice by passing them by as if they don’t exist. A UCLA Professor and

June 09, 2016

his colleagues studied a group of gay men over the age of 40 and in the study, these men were asked horrifying questions and were confronted with concepts such as, “As I get older, I feel more invisible when I am with other gay men,” and “Aging is especially hard because I am a gay man.” Why do these men feel this way? What are ways the younger generation can make these men feel valued again? First of all, these men are responsible for homosexuality being visible. They held protests and began the fight for LGBT civil rights with the likes of Harvey Milk and other LGBT activists. Also, these men lived through the brutal annihilation of AIDS and HIV that took the lives of their closet friends and lovers. Our men that have dedicated the majority of their youth fighting against discrimination deserve respect, they deserve every goodwill proclamation possible, they deserve to be acknowledged. Yes, to some, younger looking men are more appealing. But, to others, a seasoned experienced hot Daddy beats

the blank canvas of youth more often than not. Get to know our older population and discover that and other surprises. Throughout our youth, we see images that are nearly impossible to duplicate. Some of us over indulge at the gym, and develop an exclusive diet of water, almonds, cigarettes and vodka. Because of the highly sexualized subsulture in our community, we place a premium on physical appearance. Valuing chiseled abs and a strong jawline more than anything else has gotten to the point where our fellow gays are not only shamed for foregoing a muscular chest, but also for their older age. We’re discriminated against enough as it is from people outside our community, there’s no need to bring it inside the community.

In the last month alone, we’ve seen historic changes in the LGBT community: The Obama Administration implemented new federal rules on school bathrooms designed to protect transgender students from bullying (discrimination law Title IX); Eric Fanning became the first openly gay Secretary of the United States Army; same-sex marriage laws passed and came into effect in places such as Mexico and Greenland--among other milestones. All of these accomplishments wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for the now 40, 50, 60 and 70 somethings. These men and women risked their lives for the next generation to live their lives openly and without discrimination. Now that’s hot. Never forget. Happy Pride. nn

June 09, 2016

THE TROPICAL GARDENER

rangipani trees are easy to grow in South Florida generally reaching a height of about 20 feet. Different varieties produce blossoms of different colors primarily in the yellow and pink shades, each with a different fragrance.. The tree is deciduous and loses its foliage late in the year when the cool weather sets in. Even when the trees are barren of leaves, the branches are very interesting, often casting interesting shadows on the ground. The trees flower in March-May followed by new leaves. The trees are easy to propagate by inserting 12-18â&#x20AC;? woody stems (which are thick and hot-dog like in appearance) into the soil and watered routinely until the roots are formed. Within a year or so, the little

June 09, 2016

trees can be transplanted to their final home in the garden. The flowers are often used in Hawaiian leis. The tree is called Temple Tree in India because it is often planted around temples. To learn more about plants that grow well in South Florida, I recommend that gardening enthusiasts join the Equality Park Garden Club that meets the third Wednesday of each month at The Pride Center (7:30 pm). â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Chuck Nicholls, Master Gardener

FRANGIPANI TREES

y T

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, BAKE CLASSIC VICTORIA SANDWICH MINIATURES

his summer, I plan to continue binge watching The Great British Bake Off, available on Netfilx and PBS on demand. The concept is simple: 12 amateurs compete with signature dishes, technical challenges, and show stopping baked goods for 10 weeks in a well-equipped tent on the grounds of a lavish castle somewhere in England. Hosted by the comedic duo Mel Perkins and Sue Giedroyc, and judged by the handsome Paul Hollywood and baking legend Mary Berry, The Great British Bake Off is a guilty pleasure. I needed more information on my addiction and I knew there was only one place to go, Pond Hoppers. Sure enough, the owner Rob Brady was a #GBBO (Great British Bake Off) fan and as in love with the contestants and characters as I was. It turns out, Rob is an ace at baking and was willing to share his secret recipe with the Agenda! I can’t wait to roll up my sleeves and make his scrummy sponge treats. Pond Hoppers has every British treat you can imagine from Cadbury bars to marmalades to bangers. You can pick up a waving Queen Elizabeth or Union Jack apron for the expats on your gift list.

Ingredients: 1 box Green’s Vanilla Sponge Mix 2 medium eggs 6 tbsp. water 50g good quality unsalted butter - softened seedless raspberry preserve (or your favorite berry preserve) 1 pack fresh raspberries 1 small carton of heavy whipping cream confectioner’s sugar – for dusting Method: Heat oven to 390° (350° convection) Grease the sides and base of your miniature

cheesecake pan. Whisk together the sponge mix, eggs, butter and water to make a smooth thick and creamy batter Pour the mix into each well of your tin up to 3/4 quarters to the top. Bake for 15 minutes until golden brown and firm to the touch. Remove from the pan and allow to cool on a wire rack. Whilst cooling, make up your whipping cream to thick peaks form. Slice each sponge cake in half and add a generous layer of preserve. Lay thin slices of fresh raspberry on the top of the preserve followed by a good layer of the whipped cream. Add the second layer of sponge and make then nice and uniform. Pipe a swirl of cream on the top of each miniature topped with a whole fresh raspberry. Finally dust with powdered confectioner’s sugar just before serving. Pond Hoppers 2629 N Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954 566 9388 pondhoppers.net

June 09, 2016

S T F I G P O

! S P O P A ID

R O L UTH F

O S R FO

By Mau

ll Lan a b m u aM

6 1 20

oFather’s Day is June 19th and you’ll want to make it special for your dad. South Florida has so many options for wowing gay dads, dads of gays and the special men in your life who played the role.

Styling on Deco Drive Perfect Ride

Fort Lauderdale Nissan 1501 South Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale 561-454-6808 ftlauderdalenissan.com. The 2016 Nissan Juke isn’t just a crossover, it’s a sports cross over. Z inspired, fierce hood and aggressive muscular lines, it’s the perfect 2nd car for dad tooling around town! MSRP from $20,250.

June 09, 2016

The Key Lime Smile

Fireman Derek’s Pies 2918 N Miami Avenue Miami 786-703-3623 firemanderekspies.com. Featured on the Food Network’s Unique Sweets Fireman Derek is serving up a lip smacking Key Lime. The most delicious way to give Dad a pie in face. Whole Key Lime pie $25 .

The Webster Collins Ave Miami Beach 1220 Collins Ave Miami Beach FL 33319 305-6747899 thewebster.us/shop. Mark Jacobs Shadow Leaf Shirt. Navy blue ‘Shadow Leaf’ shirt from Marc Jacobs featuring a notched collar, a chest pocket, short sleeves, a front button fastening and a straight hem. $660.

S T F I PG

Reserve Recline and Relax

AMC Cinema Suites 3401 NE 26th Terrace (Coral Ridge Mall) Fort Lauderdale 954-5669666 amctheaters.com. If he’s a blockbuster Dad, he’ll love a summer of movies at AMC Theater’s Cinema Suites. Imagine a recliner in the theater with burgers and fries. Dinner and Movie for 2 estimate $80.

PS!

OUT OR S

H FL

A PO ORID

2016

The Wind in his Hair

Nice Smooth and Wrinkle Free

Miami Mini Med Spa Westfield Broward Mall 8000 W Broward Blvd #1725 Plantation 954-424-2000 tachmesmd.com. Conceived by the professional team at Miami Beach Plastic Surgery, Mini Med Spa specializes in discreet, non-invasive treatments that make a huge difference for dad. From Botox and laser hair removal to body contouring and facials. Botox, at Mini Med Spa small is the new big. Botox Gift Certificates available.

Everglades Holiday Park 21940 Griffin Road Fort Lauderdale 954 434-8111 evergladesholidaypark.com. He’ll love zipping across the “River of Grass” at top speeds. The Everglades ultimate thrill will get him back to nature but in a covered passenger compartment so he can enjoy in any weather and keep from getting sunburned. The pass includes an alligator demonstration by the world famous “Gator Boys” $28 per adult.

Electric Bikes are a Thing

The Electric Bicycle Store NE 26th and Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale 954- 565-0562 theelectricbicyclestore.com. Get him moving with the hippest thing on the streets. Phantom commuter e-bike is a legend in the electric bicycle industry. Prodeco Tech Phantom series is widely considered the most aggressive and affordable electric bike on the market. $1,999.

Stand up Kind of Guy

Sunrise Paddleboards 2520 N Federal Highway 954-440-4562 sunrisepaddleboards.com. Sunrise Paddleboards lessons. Make the most out of the South Florida waterways with dad on a board. Lessons from the best in the business Sunrise Paddleboards. Rental 2 hours $40.

Squeaky Clean and Feeling Fresh

Making his Mark For Sipping on the Balcony of his Condo ABC Wines and Spirits 3355 N Federal Highway Oakland Park 954630-0054 abcfws.com. ABC Wines and Spirits features the best in whiskeys and bourbons along with a team to help pick the perfect flavor. Calumet Farm Bourbon Whiskey $49.99.

The BBQ Depot 5881 Pembroke Road Hollywood Florida 877-983-0451 thebbqdepot.com. Weber Genesis Propane (LP) Gas Grills - This Weber Genesis Gas Grill - E-310 features an enclosed cart with corresponding painted steel doors with stainless steel trim stainless steel handles and accent colored painted side and rear panels. $849.

Cactus Car Wash 2975 N Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale 954-396-1317 cactuscarwash.com. A good scrub under the chassis is all Dad needs to feel fresh on the road. He’ll relax in their Southwestern-themed lobby complete with fireplace and free iPad usage. $25 gift card gets a great wash and a tip.

June 09, 2016

S ’ D A D O T Y A ! Y W L T L S E E B T S S I A H F H E G H d U T a O D R r H o f T s t … n T a r R u A a E t give , s H m i e h e R k ’t ta 0 n a 1 c u o p y If o ficate! T

By Ma

BARTON G

FRATELLINO RISTORANTE

MELLOW MUSHROOM

15TH STREET FISHERIES

III FORKS

1900 SE 15th Street Fort Lauderdale 954-7632777; 15streetfisheries.com. Since 1978, 15th Street Fisheries has maintained its legendary status as one of South Florida’s finest and most popular waterfront eateries. Dad will love to see the feeding of the tarpon from the marina docks.

The Village of Gulfstream Park 501 Silks Run Hallendale 954-457-3920; 3forks.com/hallandale. III Forks Steakhouse at Gulfstream Park embodies the American steakhouse. Fine USDA Prime steak, buttery lobster and ocean-fresh seafood are prepared to perfection, exact to order. After dinner treat dad to a few games of slots at the Gulfstream casino.

CAPITAL GRILLE

JIMMY BUFFET’S MARGARITAVILLE

264 Miracle Mile, Miami, FL 33134 786-452-0068. Homemade Italian comfort food. Fine dining in the heart of Coral Gables.

2430 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale 954-4462000; thecapitalgrille.com. The Capital Grille is nationally acclaimed for its dry-aged steak selections, fresh seafood, and extensive, award-winning wine list, all presented with professional, attentive service in an atmosphere of relaxed elegance. .

ROSIE’S BAR AND GRILL

2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors 954-563-0123; rosiesbng.com. Take dad out to meet your pals at the gayborhood bar and grill. Creative burgers, unique comfort foods, tasty fish tacos, piled high salads all served in a tropical setting. The super friendly team at Rosie’s will make dad feel at home.

June 09, 2016

ert c t f i g a him

FORK AND BALLS

1301 East Las Olas Blvd 954-771-2257; forkandballs.com. One-of-a-kind meatball-driven menu puts a fresh spin on the traditional comfort food, featuring all types of balls and combinations to choose from.

all La b m u M ura

1427 West Ave Miami Beach 305-672-8881; bartong.com. The Restaurant makes each meal an experience, fulfilling the senses with enticing fragrances, extraordinary food and over-the-top presentations. Now celebrating 15+ years of success on South Beach, the restaurant is the creation of events impresario Barton G. Weiss, whose innovative approach to entertaining has received worldwide acclaim. Two South Florida locations 5701 Sunset Drive Miami 305-667-3274 and 525 N. Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale 954-712-9527; mellowmushroom.com. Pizza, hoagies, calzone. If dad loves a unique pie, pile him into the Mellow Mushroom. Their mission is simple: to serve a deliciously unparalleled pizza and a cold craft beer.

111 N Ocean Ave Hollywood 954-874-4444; margaritaville. com. For the true beach bum experience head to the Margaritaville resort in Hollywood. For the dad that likes a Hawaiian shirt and steel band, the authentic Margaritaville restaurant with overflowing drinks of its name, cheeseburgers in paradise, shrimp Louie and nachos this is the perfect destination.

FUNKY BUDDHA

1201 NE 38th Street Oakland Park 954-440-0046; funkybuddhabrewery.com. Bratwurst, griddled cheese, Dr Feelgood veggie burger, Dad is going to get a kick out of the Craft Food Counter and Kitchen at the Funky Buddha brewery. Get him some splitters *sharing bites to start and then indulge him with the yummy menu. All items are offered with suggested pairings from the Funky Buddha craft beer taps.

June 09, 2016

COMMUNITY

n n n n n BY MAURA MUMBALL LANE

Dr. Donna’s Pet Foundation:

Addressing our cities’ over-population crisis of stray animals

Dr. Donna is a well-known local chiropractor. After rescuing two shelter dogs several years apart, she educated herself on the animal overpopulation crisis in Broward, Palm Beach and Miami-Dade counties. Local animal rescues are operating 24/7 in an effort to make a dent in the inventory of abandoned animals. The system is failing, and Dr. Donna finds this unacceptable. Her answer to the challenge came in the form of Dr. Donna’s Pet Foundation, a 501(c)(3) charity aimed at animal welfare, and launched in Fort Lauderdale.

Have you met with the Broward County and Miami-Dade shelters?

Yes, and they’re trying. The percentages of euthanasia in both Miami-Dade and Broward have dropped. Live release numbers are rising due to newer programs that are being initiated and more funding they are receiving from grants and some from the commissions budgeting. But it is still not near enough.

So what is it that you feel that can be done to help this crisis?

One of my ideas is to start an animal transport program taking animals from our overcrowded shelters and delivering them to other rescue groups and no-kill shelters through Florida and along the Eastern Seaboard. There are many that could take our overload of dogs and cats and get them into foster or permanent homes. There is already a transport Facebook group

June 09, 2016

for almost every state in the country, all staffed by volunteers willing to drive a couple of hours or more to safely deliver an animal that would otherwise be euthanized. Or, someone who lives out of state but willing to adopt one of our urgent dogs and needs help getting him to them. I want to build on that system in a more coordinated way as one part of Tri-county transport program.

What other goals do you have for your foundation?

I would like to propose that the Tri-County Commissions each enact a $1 a month tax fee to all county residents water bills for the sole purpose of funding programs to enhance and enlarge the existing current shelters and to fund programs geared to the general public that will educate them on all healthcare issues, training programs and evaluations of dangerous breeds as well as other programs. It would also allow for hiring much needed veterinarians and staff so that proper and more in depth medical treatments can be given on site to save incoming lives and lessen the burden on rescues attempting to pull animals from the shelters which larger impending medical bills often prohibit. As it is now, only very basic medical care is given at the shelters.

What else can be done?

We need a good screening of potential pet adopters. The way it sits now, the shelters pretty much function like a free/low cost

Craig’s list giveaway with little to no screening. We would like to see them implement basic background screening on all potential adopters which can be done at no cost utilizing the public information available online through the clerk of county courts office. In addition, adopters should be required to bring in their leases if they rent. It is important to see whether they are allowed to actually own a pet and, if so, what size. Also, there should be an employment reference and veterinary reference if applicable. There is a strong correlation between domestic violence and animal abuse.

It sounds like you are also championing for new laws and policies with regard to animal welfare and Puppy Mills legislation?

Yes. A large group of people including Michele Lazarow, a Hallandale Beach City Commissioner, and I tried to get the Broward County Commission to pass the Puppy Mill Ban, but they did not. Many individual cities in Broward County have, and this is a fight that will not be going away. It is only gaining strength throughout the county.

Visit her website www.drdonnaspetfoundation.org. Share her post from facebook.com/ drdonnaspetfoundation5 and help her grow support in finding an answer to this growing challenge. nn

June 09, 2016

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June 09, 2016

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June 09, 2016

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

n n n n n BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Romeo San Vicente supports all Wu-Tang Clan-adjacent media projects, especially Method and Red’s comedy classic How High.

KRISTIAN NAIRN,

GAME OF THRONES’ HODOR, LIVES ON IN NEW FANTASY WORLDS

Photo:villagevoice.com

Hodor is dead. We know, you’re still upset. So are we. But Kristian Nairn, the large, lovable, gay actor/DJ who played that Game of Thrones character, is very much alive, and currently in the process of moving on. Not that he’s shifting gears or anything. The film business is nothing if not consistent in its reductive demand that you stay in your lane – because once you star on a sitcom about a nun that can fly (Google it, and worship the resilience of Sally Field) they think you are a nun that flies until you prove otherwise. And that is why you will soon witness Mr. Nairn in not one, but two, fantasy-themed projects. He’s taken a role in Mythica: The

Godslayer, the latest installment in the ongoing Mythica series where, you guessed it, there are warriors and dragons. He’ll also star in Victrix, the supernatural fantasy co-starring Rutger Hauer and the legendary Max von Sydow. We’re not angry about this. We’re happy the man is working and we’ll be seeing these films. It’s just typical of timid producers and short-sighted casting people that this man isn’t also booked to star in a romantic comedy as the bisexual love interest of comedian Brian Posehn and also Ghostbusters’ Leslie Jones. It would be about very tall people falling in love. There you go, Hollywood, a free idea. You’re welcome.

id you see Belle? You really should have. From British director Amma Asante, it was the story of a biracial woman (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) raised in England’s aristocracy and her role in helping to dismantle that country’s involvement in the slave trade. Now Asante is working on a new film, Where Hands Touch, a romantic drama about a biracial woman and her relationship with an SS officer in 32

June 09, 2016

Nazi Germany. Rising star Amandla Stenberg, who played Rue in The Hunger Games and also appeared in Beyonce’s Lemonade, is currently in talks for the lead, and we couldn’t be happier about this possibility. The outspoken and bisexual star, who’s been acting and modeling for years now, embodies the best of young Millenial boundary crossing, and this could be the breakout adult role she needs. More talks, please.

Photo: teenvogue.com

AMANDLA STENBERG IN TALKS FOR WHERE HANDS TOUCH

ENTERTAINMENT AZEALIA BANKS

Photo:theguardian.com

TRADES TWITTER FOR COCO

TOM FORD’S NOCTURNAL ANIMALS TAKES NOVEMBER

om Ford’s A Single Man, the mournful yet stylish period drama starring Colin Firth, was a hit with audiences, critics and Academy Award voters (Firth received a Best Actor nomination). And based on that charmed first time at bat, the fashion designer-turned-filmmaker’s latest, Nocturnal Animals, has already secured a November release date. In case you weren’t aware, that’s when award season films typically begin aggressively stalking their prey. Animals, based on the novel by Austin

Wright, and starring the impressive line-up of Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Armie Hammer, Amy Adams, Jake Gyllenhaal, Isla Fisher, Kim Basinger and Michael Shannon, concerns a woman drawn into a mysterious manuscript that changes the direction of her life. It promises to be an unusual sort of literary, psychological thriller, and thank goodness for that. Call award season tedious if you like; it still prioritizes serious films for grown-ups, the sort of movies that are in ever-dwindling supply. We’ll take it.

Photo: forbes.com

ueer, controversial, hip-hop/ dance artist Azealia Banks isn’t in hiding. The “212” musician whose refusal to back down from (and also start) a fight led to her recent banishment from Twitter (but, please, Twitter, by all means, let hetero men keep making rape and death threats, that’s not a problem at all) is moving forward with a new project from director (and Wu-Tang Clan alumnus) RZA. The film is called Coco, and it’s set in the world of hip-hop and poetry

slams. Banks stars as an aspiring rapper in New York who works her way through the slam poetry scene, looking for her break. And the rest of the cast is pretty impressive, too: Pitch Perfect’s Hana Mae Lee, Common, Lorraine Toussaint, Method Man, Jill Scott, Scream Queens star Lucien Laviscount and Ballers’ John David Washington. Not sure when this one will be finished and ready to see, but consider us pre-sold. June 09, 2016

PUZZLE Sulu Says It All

Across

1 Paul Rudnick’s The ___ Fabulous Story Ever Told 5 Terence of Smallville 10 Ridges on Melissa’s neck 15 Cartoonist Peter 16 No longer jail bait 17 Property claims 18 Rivera’s rivers 19 Place for your favorite boxers 20 Vital carrier 21 With 39-Across, T-shirt motto of George Takei 24 Like a virgin’s maidenhead 25 Whisper, as a secret 29 Tissue problem in Philadelphia 33 Rachel Maddow, to MSNBC 34 Farmer in the hayfield 37 The Queen producer Rudin 39 See 21-Across 40 Past 41 With 45-Across, nickname for House Bill 2 44 Dry, to Ted Allen of Queer Eye 45 See 41-Across 47 Verb with “protest,” to the bard 48 Start of a legal conclusion 50 In cahoots 52 Data for a headhunter 54 Gets to the bottom of? 56 Annoyances 60 State that passed House Bill 2 64 “Take it off!” 67 Bone-chilling 68 Current for three men in a tub 69 Dressing for Dr. Kildare 70 What the Devil wears, in a movie 71 Corp. magnates 72 Use them to fork around 73 One who scatters seed 74 Matador’s opponent For the solution to this puzzle go to: floridaagenda.com/puzzle 34

June 09, 2016

Down

1 Bloody queen 2 Hunter that comes out at night 3 Tapir feature 4 Like Julia Morgan’s models 5 Pro-gay perspectives 6 Univ. of Maryland athlete 7 The African Queen author 8 Hair of a stallion 9 Backup strategy 10 Straw-colored 11 What the cops read at Stonewall? 12 Always, to Byron 13 USA rival 14 Fed. retirement agency 22 Like sourballs 23 Urania’s sister 26 Not only that 27 Plates of Bean’s 28 How Homo sapiens stands 30 Words in an analogy 31 Earth tone 32 Lief’s tongue 34 Kiddie-lit elephant 35 Able to bend over 36 Lounges 38 They’re into diapers 42 Office machine 43 Reproduction without sex 46 Take into the pride? 49 Word on a Tammy Baldwin poster 51 Flees to become husband and husband 53 Erect (or how bottoms take it?) 55 Many go down on them 57 Straight to ___ 58 Moon in Return of the Jedi 59 Affirm orally 61 Mark Bingham of United Flight 93 62 Sticking point 63 Gal Friday, e.g. 64 Pepper, for one: Abbr. 65 Half a cocktail 66 Come quickly

June 09, 2016

CELEBRITY FEATURE

     BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

ENTERTAINMENT

The Butch Beneath Our Wings

Lea DeLaria reﬂects on her landmark TV moment, talks ‘hero’ Bette Midler and making tough lesbians cry with Orange Is the New Black irst the screwdriver, then the peanut butter.

But Lea DeLaria’s love for Orange Is the New Black goes beyond the craftiness of her shenanigans with both a hand tool and a classic sandwich spread as a regular on TV’s Emmywinning prison drama. Sure, Netflix has afforded the veteran actress a deep cargo-pocket of outrageous 36

June 09, 2016

antics, but Orange isn’t only here for your amusement. More importantly, the series and DeLaria’s riotous, randy character, Big Boo, are part of the show’s heralded inclusivity. Breaking ground as the first openly gay comic to perform on American television, in 1993 on The Arsenio Hall Show, DeLaria is still carrying the torch on TV two

decades later, representing a deeply unsung subset in the queer community on Orange: the butch lesbian. As the show embarks on its icy fourth season, the 58-year-old called in for a tell-all interview about the “lesser known” controversy surrounding her historical TV debut: How the Fox network was not fond of the actress’ lav-

ish gayness and wanted to put the brakes on her groundbreaking Arsenio appearance. Who stepped in to fight Fox’s resistance to the landmark stint? Why has the actress turned down so many gay roles since then? And why does she think we should drop the community’s longtime collective acronym, LGBT? Read on as DeLaria reveals all.

151K TWITTER FOLLOWERS

AZZOPARDI: Orange Is the New Black is now in its fourth season. Is that hard to believe? DELARIA: It’s really shocking for me to believe it’s our fourth season. I thought I’d have way more money by now! What about this fourth season stands out from the past three? I think what people are going to ﬁnd about the fourth season is that it’s darker than the other seasons. They really explore some of the shi*ty things about being in prison. There’s a lot I can’t talk about. I think it’s going to be much darker than you’ve seen in the past. Still funny, but there’s deﬁnitely a darkness involved. But Boo is going to be Boo as Boo always is. AZZOPARDI: You get to do some crazy stuff on this show. What’s your relationship like with peanut butter at this point? DELARIA: Yeah, I can’t eat peanut butter at all, as a matter of fact. (Laughs) AZZOPARDI: Seriously? DELARIA: Yeah, I don’t really eat peanut butter. But yeah, I believe that the writers sit around and go, “What’s the fucking most insane thing we can think of? Let’s give it to DeLaria!” They know I’ll do anything for a laugh. AZZOPARDI: When it comes to acting, you’ve been at it longer than most people know. An eternity, right? DELARIA: It feels like an eternity. AZZOPARDI: You don’t look like an eternity. DELARIA: Good genes, I can assure you. It’s certainly not from taking care of myself, as anyone who’s seen me in the West Vil-

817K INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS

lage, drunk on my butt at 4 in the morning, knows. AZZOPARDI: How is post-Orange life different from pre-Orange life? Are you recognized more often on the streets? DELARIA: Oh yeah, I’m recognized nonstop. Before – first of all, not everybody was carrying their camera with them like they do now, so I would get stopped… I’d get stopped enough. I wouldn’t say frequently, and I wouldn’t say infrequently; it was somewhere in the middle. Generally, it’s “Hey, you’re Lea DeLaria; can I have your autograph?” Now I can’t even walk out of my front doorstep. It’s like, “Oh my god! Orange is the New Black!” It just goes on all day.

380,511 FACEBOOK LIKES

AZZOPARDI: Can you still even go to gay bars? DELARIA: All the time. I could never go to a gay bar before! I mean, before Orange that would be the one place everyone knew who I was. I made the decision very early on in my life that I’m going to live my life, and if people come up to me, I’m going to be friendly and charming the way I am. I don’t want to lock myself in my room. I just don’t want to do that, so I’m out all the time. AZZOPARDI: How does the treatment of LGBT characters and sexuality on Orange compare to your previous lesbian roles, both big and small? DELARIA: What’s different about it more than anything else in the

WEBSITE LEADELARIA .COM

world is that it’s real. Believe me, as you’ve said, I played a lot of them, big and small, and I can assure you I’ve said “no” more than I’ve said “yes” to these roles. A lot of roles I say no to are because they’re just so completely stereotyped and bullshit that I won’t play them anymore. AZZOPARDI: You say “anymore.” What changed? DELARIA: When I started out in the business, I played them because it was work. And then it just got to be ridiculous. I just said, “This is it. I can’t do this anymore unless someone is going to give me a real character.” Like the chick I played on Californication! If you’re going to give me a real character, I’m going to knock it out of the park for you. If you’re just gonna make it the same ol’ stereotypical bullshit butch, I’m not interested. But that’s what’s great about our show, and not just with the queer characters but with what it does with women, what it does for trans people – what it does for everybody. We’re real. We’re three dimensional. We’re honest. We cry. We laugh. We talk about life, you know? That’s the biggest difference. And not to mention the very warm, friendly, three-dimensional positive portrayal of a butch dyke that is incredibly unique and unusual, and so I’m loving doing that. AZZOPARDI: As a butch lesbian yourself, how do you think Boo is opening doors for the butch lesbian community? DELARIA: I know that she is because I get direct messages on Instagram. I get, like, 150 June 09, 2016

of them a day from all over the world, from all these different women saying, “Thank god for Orange Is the New Black, thank god for Big Boo. I now know that it is OK for me to be who I am,” and they’re not just talking about being gay; they’re talking about being a butch. I get constant messages about it. Constant! And then people come up to me on the street. I’ve had really hard-ass butches cry when they talk to me, which is… trust me, it’s hard for us to cry. So finally somebody is putting out there who we actually are. I feel like Season 3, episode four, which is the Boo backstory episode – I believe that’s done as much for butches as Season 1, episode three, did for the transgender community. AZZOPARDI: Do lesbians send you letters from jail? DELARIA: I don’t get letters from people in jail. What I do get are the conversations with them after they’re out. I hear from guards, from COs, from wardens, from assistant wardens and from exprisoners on the street telling me how much our show hits the nail on the head. It’s very real. It’s very much like that. I think that’s a really intense compliment. I’m not that kind of actor. Like Taylor (Schilling), who is an amazing actor, she went to a women’s prison. Kate Mulgrew went to a women’s prison. To look at, to get the feel, to get the backbone of their character. I watched Lockup. (Laughs) AZZOPARDI: What’s your earliest memory of subverting gender norms? Were you a tomboy? DELARIA: Yeah, I was what we called a tomboy back then. It’s very interesting… when I went to a thrift store and got my first suit and put it on for the first time, it was like putting on my own skin. I was 17. AZZOPARDI: When did you get the “butch” tattoo on your forearm? DELARIA: It must’ve been the ’90s. AZZOPARDI: What’s the story behind it? DELARIA: I like tattoos! I’ve got a lot of ’em. I just wanted it to say 38

June 09, 2016

“butch,” and I went in and told (the tattoo artist) what I wanted. After we got done, I couldn’t see it because of the angle, and he goes, “It’s fantastic! It says ‘bitch’ perfectly!” And I went insane. “YOU PUT BITCH ON THERE?” And he laughed – he got me so good. He laughed soooo hard at me. He totally got me. But he was just messing with me – he knew better than to put bitch on my arm. AZZOPARDI: So 1993 comes around and you’re the first openly gay comic to break through the late night talk-show circuit with an appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show. DELARIA: It was more than that – I was the first openly gay comic to perform on television, period, in America. I mean, it was latenight, which was really huge, but yeah. Nobody. It was me. AZZOPARDI: What were you feeling in that moment? DELARIA: Scared as sh*t! Terrified, just terrified. All I could think was, “What if I bomb?” And I had 20/20 following me. So I wasn’t just doing The Arsenio Hall Show – I was also doing fu*king 20/20. It was craziness because it was such a big deal. I’m not sure how it happened but the universe aligned and the planets aligned perfectly and I killed. It was nine and a half minutes of television gold, so yeah, I was lucky. Could’ve gone either way. The audience could have hated me. I was not lightly gay, if you know what I mean. I wasn’t gay-lite. I was as queer as it gets. They did an article in the Advocate right after it happened. They taped it and apparently I said the words “dyke,” “fag” and “queer” 47 times. I mean, it was the second sentence I uttered: “Hello everybody, I’m Lea DeLaria. It’s the 1990s, it’s hip to be queer and I’m a big dyke.” AZZOPARDI: We needed somebody to be that person. DELARIA: I think that was probably right. It was the early part of the ’90s, so we were having that rift about the words queer and dyke and fag. The lesser known story is that they almost didn’t air it because I said queer

“

They taped it and apparently I said the words “dyke,” “fag” and “queer” 47 times. I mean, it was the second sentence I uttered: “Hello everybody, I’m Lea DeLaria. It’s the 1990s, it’s hip to be queer and I’m a big dyke.”

and dyke and fag. The lawyers called Arsenio in and said, “We don’t think you should let this go out.” They were trying to pull it and Arsenio – again this is the lesser story that people don’t know – had a fit and said, “She’s a dyke. If she wants to call herself a dyke then it’s none of your fu*king business.” He fought for it and got me on the air. The lawyers at Fox were saying, “Noooo.” It was a big deal at the time; now it’s ho-hum. But back then it was huge. You gotta remember, Ellen (DeGeneres) wasn’t out yet. Rosie (O’Donnell) wasn’t out yet. None of these guys were out yet. AZZOPARDI: Shifting gears: Let’s talk about your cameo in one of the gayest classics of all time, First Wives Club. What’s an onscreen scolding from Bette Midler like? DELARIA: Just like an offscreen scolding! (Laughs) AZZOPARDI: Wait wait, there’s a story there. DELARIA: I gotta say, you must be about my fiancée’s age because everybody of her generation – she’s 31 – loves that movie. That’s her favorite movie. I’m like, mine’s Rebec-

ca. I’m just saying, First Wives Club is your favorite movie?! The best thing about First Wives Club, though, beyond the fact that I got to be in it and beyond the fact that Paul Rudnick wrote that for me, which was very cool, was getting to work with Bette, who is my hero and one of the reasons I went into show business. But more than that was becoming friends with Goldie Hawn. Goldie is just an absolute unbelievable doll. Talented. Brilliant. Charming. Just a lovely human being. I had a blast doing First Wives Club. AZZOPARDI: More recently, you called out a preacher while on the New York subway. DELARIA: That guy? It’s an insult to preachers to call him a preacher. He’s just a homophobic asshole. AZZOPARDI: It went viral. DELARIA: It went viral so fast I couldn’t believe it. In fact. I was on TMZ within a half hour. That was the thing: I was on a subway on my way to the studio – we were filming – so what had happened, I got out of the subway and I called my manager. I said, “Look, I had a confrontation. Somebody pulled out their phone and they videotaped it

soooo there might be something on social media.” Twenty minutes later, he called me and said, “You’re on TMZ.” It was hilarious! It just went nuts. AZZOPARDI: You famously dropped out of Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival in 2014 because of their womynborn-womyn stipulation, which discourages transgender people from attending. And you’ve spoken many times on the topic of “infighting,” saying once, “We queers need to find a way to stop this fighting and work together towards our common goal.” In the years since canceling your MichFest appearance, have you seen any noticeable change regarding the unification of the queer community? DELARIA: Absolutely not. I speak at universities now because apparently I’m a role model (laughs). It just makes me laugh. Like, honey, if I’m a role model, queers are in a lot of fucking trouble. I speak about it a lot, but when we come together and don’t infight, we get a lot done. That’s how we defeated DOMA, that’s how we defeated Prop 8, that’s why the SCOTUS decision happened. But in the midst of all that, I still find myself constantly

dealing with the more conservative queers and the more radical queers like myself, and as I said in the statement when I pulled out of MichFest: How fucked up is it when I’m the voice of reason? You’ve got to be kidding me that you guys can’t see this. When Lea DeLaria and Larry Kramer are the voices of reasons, people are fucked. ’Cause we’re the two biggest bitches on the planet! We’re little brats. We scream and yell until people listen to us, that’s who we are. This is the biggest issue we have in the queer community to date and will continue to be the biggest issue until we learn to accept our differences, and that’s the issue. And part of me believes that this inclusivity of calling us the LGBTQQTYwhatever-LMNOP tends to stress our differences. And that’s why I refuse to do it. I say queer. Queer is everybody.

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. He once made Jane Fonda cry. Reach him via his website at www. chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi). June 09, 2016

nevents

nnightlife

n FEEDING THE BEAR

THURSDAY 6/09 @ 8:00PM Island City Stage Michael Aman’s world premiere play tackles body dysmorphia, an issue heavily affecting the gay community and its much-discussed high body image standards. The comic drama involves a gay, single teacher who has become the caregiver for his once-disapproving father ,who now suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. He is joined by his wild, divorced sister and a TV chef in drag as he begins to understand both himself and his father. 8:00 p.m. Island City Stage 2304 N Dixie Highway Wilton Manors 33305.

n “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC

FRIDAY 6/10 @ 8:00PM Adrienne Arsht Center Music satirist “Weird Al” Yankovic has somehow remained relevant for almost four decades in the industry. That might be because his fun send-ups of both popular music and popular music videos include equal amounts wit and sophomoric humor to appeal to a wide range of demographics. His latest album Mandatory Fun was his first number-one album, proving that the guy’s still got it. His concerts are known for utilizing the same costumes seen in his wacky videos—expect to see the “Fat” costume, the bizarre Lady Gaga “Perform this Way” frock, and, of course, something “Tacky” as Yankovic takes his show from the Kravis Center to Miami. 8:00 p.m. Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts 1300 Biscayne Blvd Miami 33132.

COLIN JOST

FRIDAY 6/10 @ 8:00PM Fort Lauderdale Improv Harvard alum and Saturday Night Live head writer Colin Jost currently co-hosts the popular “Weekend Update” feature of SNL with Rob Klein. His stand-up career has included appearances on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon as well as specials on TBS and HBO. His accolades include five Emmy Awards nominations, three Writers Guild Awards nominations, and a Peabody Award. 8:00 p.m. Fort Lauderdale Impro 5700 Seminole Way Hollywood 33314. 40

June 09, 2016

ntheatre

SELENA GOMEZ

SATURDAY 6/11 @ 8:00PM American Airlines Arena The Disney princess and Justin Beiber’s-ex performs her catchy music at the American Airlines Arena, including songs from her critically acclaimed album Revival. A recent role in Spring Breakers signified a break into more adult territory. She has also become a producer as she tackles the popular teenage book 13 Reasons Why’s translation to television on Netflix. 7:30 p.m. American Airlines Arena 601 Biscayne Blvd Miami 33132.

By Patrick Robert

T he Week entertainment calendar

nexhibits n BY LAND AND SEA

MONDAY 6/13 @ 10:00AM GalleryOne - Double Tree Suites Business of the Arts of Broward and GalleryOne Double Tree Suites by Hilton present an array of South Floridian artists in the exhibition By Land and Sea. The pieces on display come from various different mediums, including fiber art, acrylic and oil, mixed media, ceramics, and photography. Some of the artists include Erin Bassett, Diane Delorey, Debra Kaszovitz, Juan Prieto, and Robyn Vegas. 10:00 a.m. GalleryOne—A Double Tree Suites by Hilton Hotel 2670 East Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale 33304.

n WEEZER AND PANIC!

CYNDI LAUPER

KIDZ BOP KIDS

SATURDAY 6/11 @ 8:00PM Mizner Park Amphitheatre Cyndi is not just one of the most talented singers of the 1980s, but she is also an LGBT-rights activist, having worked for gay rights charities on both Celebrity Apprentice and on tour several summers ago. She has become one of the foremost gay rights leaders—both an icon and a saint to many in the community. 8:00 p.m. Mizner Park Amphitheatre 590 Plaza Real Boca Raton 33432.

SUNDAY 6/12 @ 3:00PM Parker Playhouse The infamous, creepy, and wildly popular Kidz Bop brand features kids performing current pop hits (no matter how “adult” the lyrics may be). Some of their more popular song renditions include “Wrecking Ball,” “Oops…I Did it Again,” “I Want if That Way,” and “Timber.” This tour features kids performing versions of these hits in a high-energy and interactive show titled “Life of the Party.” The Kidz Bop brand is celebrating its 15th anniversary, having created close to thirty albums throughout their run. 3:00 p.m. Parker Playhouse 707 NE Eighth St Fort Lauderdale 33304.

AT THE DISCO

TUESDAY 6/14 @ 7:00PM Bayfront Park Amphitheater Weezer has been an alt-rock mainstay since their self-titled debut (nicknamed The Blue Album) produced successful singles “Buddy Holly,” “Undone—The Sweater Song,” and “Say It Ain’t So” back in 1994. Panic! at the Disco may be a bit younger than the veteran rockers but with the help of Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz they, too, have managed mainstream success. Some of their most popular songs include “Nine in the Afternoon” and “I Write Songs Not Tragedies.” 7:00 p.m. Bayfront Park Amphitheater 301 N Biscayne Blvd Miami 33132.

n SUMMER SHORTS

WEDNESDAY 6/15 @ 7:00PM Adrienne Arsht Center The annual short play festival Summer Shorts returns to the Adrienne Arsht Center with a new collection of some of the best short plays in the country. Some of South Florida’s most talented actors and directors come together to bring these wild and energetic pieces to life. Most of the 10-minute pieces are comedies with a few dramas thrown in for measure. For the first time, this year’s crop will also feature musicals. 7:00 p.m. Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts. 1300 Biscayne Blvd. Miami. 33132.

June 09, 2016

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