Agenda 072116 issue 348 by Multi-Media Platforms

July 21, 2016

[ JUST ADAM

The week reflected back through fabulously funny eyes

LOOK MOM NO HANDS! These horrible hover board things are introducing the next wave of childhood obesity. Walk, Patricia! MELANIA THROWN UNDER THE BUS. Who is shocked? The lazy swindling Trumps! Run a campaign by playing on people’s fears and ignorance, stick a pretty woman up onstage who can’t speak English, and don’t bother with talking about any depth of any national issues, and come up with immature nicknames for rivals! Oh yeah, and underestimate the average intelligence of Americans so they don’t notice.

TWEET TWEET TWEET. I don’t know about you, but any nominee for president that can get the majority of his policy points out on Twitter, which limits you to 150 characters or less, is certainly not somebody I would want representing the greatest country on earth. JUDGMENT DAY. My overall assessment of the Republican national convention so far. They have the inbred crowd of people that wear cowboy hats and bad Oakley sunglasses. Maybe it’s the snobby elite New Yorker in me, but I just can’t take you seriously if you wear a cowboy hat and you’re not on a farm. In public. During the day. Ever. A LIFE CHANGING MOMENT. Whoever invented the garbage can set up at the end of the fast food drive-thru line seriously deserves the supreme Nobel Prize of life. That’s the best invention ever on earth. VP PICK, MIKE PENCE. This guy is a walking vagina in dad jeans. Totally had a crew cut as a kid and bullied kids for money. Trump should’ve chosen Omarosa, or the poker player, or Kid Rock. Congratulations Donald Trump, a big douchebag picks a gay-hating douchebag as a running mate. Makes sense. REALITY SHOW PRESIDENTAL WANNA-BE. A UFC fight promoter is the first speaker at the RNC! I’m sure Abraham Lincoln just rolled over in his grave. Is this real life or am I hallucinating? Donald Trump is aware that he was just made the Republican nominee for president, right? These are our lives and our country, not a pay-per-view special. Holy shit! I’m bored of watching D-list actors and politicians kiss his ring. I’m gonna watch more uplifting programming on the serial killer channel. THOUGHT OF THE DAY. Dear Humanity, I’m this close to giving up on you. Please f*cking pull yourself together. Love, Adam

Adam Cohen is South Florida’s favorite and most fabulous social commentator. He’s also single. Find him on Facbook to keep up with his hilarious take on the week’s headlines. 4

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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING... Random thoughts from social media and beyond this week Dr. Ben Carson, former Republican presidential candidate, on all things LGBT and transgender. “What we ought to do is utilize our brains, utilize our common sense as human beings. We’ve known what men are and what women are for thousands of years. So we don’t know anything, everything is relative — this doesn’t make any sense.”

Antonio Sabato, Jr., 80s Hollywood sexsymbol, did gay sex scenes in the movies and who doesn’t identify as Republican or Democrat spoke at the RNC stating, “My frustration and fear of how things are now, and how we need the kind of change Trump can bring. He is refreshing and speaks for many of us when he says we are in a bad place. We need a straight-to-the-point person like Trump to give us a fresh start.”

Tiffany Trump, daughter of Donald and Marla Maples, spoke at the RNC in support of her father, “My father is good with advice, as you might guess,” But he keeps it short and the takeaway is usually the same: to help us find our own way and our own gifts.” Daniel Franzese, best known for his iconic gay roles in Looking and Mean Girls, announced that he was engaged to partner Joseph Bradley Phillips. “Joseph has given me the best of his heart. Finding my soul mate has made all the years I struggled with myself worth it.”

Trump campaign announces that Omarosa Manigault will be director of African-American outreach. The former reality star and memorable “villain” of the franchise previously served as vicechairman for the National Diversity Coalition for Trump.

a Governor Mike Pence of used the power of his office to sign an executive order that bans “gay colors” from being worn by kids in public schools. “Pence referred to pink, chartreuse, teal and magenta, in particular, as ‘gateway colors’ for young boys who might have an inclination toward homosexuality.” July 21, 2016

News Briefs Go to floridaagenda.com for other exclusive stories. Brevard schools vote for non-discrimination The Brevard County school board voted 3-2 on Tuesday to pass a non-discrimination policy for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students, teachers and staff. The policy is an overhaul of the current anti-harassment rules and equal employment policy of the Brevard Public Schools. It prohibits employment discrimination and student harassment on the basis of either gender identity or sexual orientation. School board members Andy Ziegler, Amy Kneessy and Misty Belford voted in favor of the

LGBT policy, with John Craig and Karen Henderson voted against. The vote came at the end of a six-hour meeting with an audience of more than 100, including both LGBT policy advocates and opponents. According to Florida Today, proponents of the policy sat in the audience on one side, dressed in red, while opponents sat on the other side, holding signs with the words “Vote No.” People in the audience on both sides of the aisle clapped, cheered and jeered the various speakers. nn

Federal judge urges US to grant gender neutral passport DENVER (AP) - A federal judge on Wednesday urged the State Department to give a gender neutral passport to a Colorado Navy veteran who does not identify being male or female in a case that’s the first of its kind in the United States. U.S. District Judge R. Brooke Jackson also suggested he might issue an order forcing the government to do so if it does not successfully negotiate a settlement to the legal challenge filed by Dana Zzyym, who was denied a passport for refusing to check “male” or “female” on the application. Zyyym was born with ambiguous sexual characteristics and raised as a boy but later came to identify as intersex and neither man nor woman. Government lawyers argued that moving beyond two gender choices for passports would upend officials’ ability to verify identities and backgrounds because of its reliance on drivers’ licenses and birth certificates issued by states offering only male and female gender options. Jackson appeared exasperated at times, saying the State Department needs to catch up to a new era in which gender identification is not as clear as it was in the past. 6

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“A lot of things are changing in our world,” Jackson said. The State Department since 2010 has allowed transgender people to change the gender designation on their passports from male to female or vice versa with a doctor’s certification. An Oregon judge last month allowed Jamie Shupe to be legally classified as a nonbinary person, neither male nor female, in a decision believed the first of its kind in the country. Shupe’s lawyer, Lake Parraguey, said Oregon officials are working on a process to allow Shupe to get a driver’s license with that designation. Parraguey said many states have similar, simple processes to change people’s gender identities, similar to a name changes, and orders like Shupe’s will eventually have to be honored by other states. The gender on Zzyym’s birth certificate originally was left blank although the document was amended to say that gender was unknown. Zzyym, who lives in Fort Collins, served in the U.S. Navy as a man before identifying as intersex while working and studying at Colorado State University. nn

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Caitlyn Jenner: Easier to come out as transgender than Republican CLEVELAND (AP) — Prodding her party, Caitlyn Jenner said Wednesday it was easier to come out as transgender than as a Republican and conceded Democrats promote more inclusive policies. Jenner, the Olympic gold medalist and transgender activist, gently chastised Republicans as she spoke at a brunch on the sidelines of the Republican National Convention. She told the pro-LGBT American Unity Fund that she’s urged Republicans including Donald Trump to create a safe environment for children who are transgender. “I get it. The Democratic Party does a better job when it comes to the LGBT community, the trans community, all that kind of stuff,” Jenner said. In an unusual moment for a GOP gathering, she received a smattering of applause when she praised President Barack Obama for advancing LGBT rights and for eliminating the ban on transgender people serving openly in the military. Jenner’s appearance at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, just blocks from where Republicans are holding their convention to nominate Trump, illustrated the divisions within the party as it works to expand its appeal to LGBT voters and their supporters in the general election. Though Trump has been more supportive of gay rights than most of his White House challengers, there have been few public calls for more inclusivity during the fourday gathering in Cleveland. Earlier this year, Trump drew attention for saying that Jenner

could use whatever restroom she wanted in one of his luxury buildings, a position that came as Republicans in several states were pushing laws forcing people to use the restroom that corresponds to their gender at birth. Jenner later took up Trump on his offer, using the women’s room without incident at the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Manhattan. “You’re creating laws for a non-issue,” Jenner said. “We don’t have a problem here.” Jenner said the bathroom issue had been “used politically for many, many, many, many years.” She added that she’d personally experienced no issues with which bathroom to use. “I haven’t used the men’s room in a year and a half,” said Jenner, who transitioned to her new identity from Bruce Jenner last year. “And thank God, because there are some great conversations going on in the lady’s room, OK?” Opponents of letting transgender people use the bathroom that corresponds to their gender identity have warned that men would use it as an excuse to enter women’s rooms to prey on girls. Jenner noted that Former Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, former Mississippi Rep. Jon Hinson and former Florida state Rep. Bob Allen — all Republicans — had been arrested for “lude behavior” in men’s restrooms, during a time in which no transgender people were arrested for using the wrong bathroom. “Maybe what we should do is ban Republican representatives at a state level from being in the men’s room,” Jenner said. nn

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INTERNATIONAL

AG Healey warns gun dealers on state’s assault weapons ban

Elton John: LGBT people must be part of AIDS fight

DURBAN, SA (AP) - British musician Elton John says that leaving LGBT people behind in the fight against AIDS will only increase the spread of the disease. He spoke Wednesday at a global AIDS conference in South Africa that has also attracted philanthropist Bill Gates, actress Charlize Theron and Britain’s Prince Harry. Africa is the continent hardest hit by the epidemic, but the subject of homosexuality is taboo in many African countries. “With these countries sometimes, it may take 50 years. But I guarantee it will change,” the musician said. He said he wants to ensure that LGBT people are protected if they are denied medical treatment or arrested. Gates, meanwhile, warned that Africa is “chronically underprepared” for a demographic bulge in young people, who are most at risk for HIV. nn

Trump Makes Showy Return to Cleveland

Donald Trump has dramatically landed in Cleveland in advance of accepting the Republican nomination for president. Trump’s plane landed at an airstrip near Lake Erie and then the celebrity businessman took his helicopter to a landing field at the Great Lakes Science Center a short distance from the convention site. His wife, Melania Trump, was not with him. Some members of Trump’s family, his running mate, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, and some supporters were on hand to greet him. Amid swelling music, Trump and Pence thanked their supporters. nn

HILLARY CLINTON TO MAKE VP SELECTION

Hillary Clinton’s vice presidential search is centering on three main contenders, with an announcement expected as soon as this weekend as the Democrat prepares for her party’s national convention next week in Philadelphia. Democrats familiar with the search say Clinton’s running mate process has focused on Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and Labor Secretary Tom Perez. That’s according to Democrats familiar with the process, who spoke on condition of anonymity to describe the private discussions. They cautioned that Clinton had not yet reached a final decision and was weighing a number of factors, including the person’s readiness to be president, personal compatibility and ability to help her administration govern. Clinton is expected to announce her decision during a two-day campaign swing in Florida later this week. nn

BOSTON (AP) - Democratic Attorney General Maura Healey is warning gun dealers and manufacturers in Massachusetts against selling banned assault weapons, including what she described as copycat weapons. Healey said Wednesday her office is stepping up enforcement of the state’s assault weapons ban in the wake of the mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, last month. Healey says the enforcement notice sent to gun sellers and manufacturers clarifies what constitutes a “copy” or “duplicate” weapon under the state’s assault weapons ban, including copies of the Colt AR-15 and the Kalashnikov AK-47. Despite the law, Healey says an estimated 10,000 copycat assault weapons were sold in Massachusetts last year. Healey says the gun industry has openly defied the law and her office has a moral and legal responsibility to enforce it.nn

Texas district alters transgender policy, will notify parent

DALLAS (AP) - A Texas school district that triggered a passionate debate when it announced restroom guidelines for transgender students is pledging to work more closely with parents on matters affecting LGBT children. Fort Worth Superintendent Kent Scribner said Wednesday that transgender guidelines have been condensed and that each student will be handled on a “case-by-case basis.” Earlier guidelines noted that transitioning to a different gender is a private matter and that students could choose whether to have their parents involved. Scribner now says parents will be brought into the fold earlier, unless it would prove harmful to a child. Attorney General Ken Paxton had earlier criticized the state’s sixth-largest school district but in a statement Wednesday he praised it for taking steps to comply with state law. nn Assembled through Associated Press July 21, 2016

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COVER STORY

ANGER

UNCONVENTIONAL:

Horror show hits Cleveland BY RICHARD HACK

Plagerism, Bigotry & Anger. The national spectacle known as the Republican National Convention continued to spiral out of control in Cleveland, propelled by its own hatred of a disintegrating America it helped to create. In the entire 162-year history of the party, there has never been such division and hostility, not only toward other Americans, but toward other Republicans as well. That vitriolic spewing of anger has its foundation in presidential nominee Donald Trump, of course, who has been so successful in his fear mongering that he’s peeled an ugly scab off of a wound that has been festering long before anyone

July 21, 2016

even realized it was there. Trump’s selection of vice-presidential running mate Mike Pence has managed to sooth and irritate in a single slap, depending on whose cheek is being offered up. Pence has managed to make his stance on the LGBT community the Fort Knox of bigotry and hate, so certain is he of his divine right to judge. Pence loves the concept of conversion therapy, knowing in his heart of hearts that no one is really “born” gay. Rather, it is a selection made by those who cherish the thought of a life of ridicule and condemnation to hell. Who among us can resist that kind of temptation? It was also Mike Pence who

worked to stop HR2410 in 2009, a bill that would have encouraged foreign governments to decriminalize homosexuality. And let’s not forget his “religious freedom” bill in Indiana which he governs that allowed gays to be discriminated against by any businesses with personal faith issues where LGBTs were concerned. He doesn’t want gays in the military, and don’t even think of suggesting there is an upside to same-sex marriage. According to Pence, “societal collapse was always brought about following an advent of the deterioration of marriage and family.”

The Log Cabin Republicans, those misunderstood LGBTs who were first suckerpunched by the most anti-gay platform in the BIGOTRY party’s history, have now to contend with a vp candidate that is the most anti-gay evangelical Republican with a decades long political career laced with bigotry. Officially, the Log Cabin Republicans have yet to decide whether to endorse Trump, a decision the group typically makes in the fall. “I’m not losing any sleep at night over Pence,” Log Cabin President Gregory T. Angelo said. “My concerns are with Trump,” he told

Tuesday that whoever is responsiNBC “And there are definitely ble for writing the should be fired. concerns there.” Dah. You think. “Whoever was the staff person It didn’t help strengthen Trump’s who wrote this speech should be position as the man in charge of held accountable and should be the fiasco of a convention unfoldfired,” Lewandowski told CNN’s ing in front of delegates in the hall, John Berman and Kate Bolduan. and potential voters watching from But no one was. home when Trump himself made After Melania’s speech, schedan entrance on stage. It occurred uled a little too early in the primeduring the first day of the conventime rundown of the convention, tion to the chords of “We Are the the four commercial networks Champions” written by the late cut away from the action on the gay rock icon Freddy Mercury of floor, which was quickly emptyQueen, who must be rolling in his ing of delegates. More slip-ups in a grave. Walking onto a stage full of convention full of slip-ups, leaving fog in a backlit entrance channelus to wonder how Donald Trump ing Beyonce more than the potencan possibly expect to tial leader of the run America when he free world, Trump PLAGERISM hasn’t even grasp the introduced his wife, theme of convention Melania, a Slovecontrol. nian-born jewelry His answer has been, designer and former and will continue to be, model. one of anger. Anger at Unfortunately an America he feels is for Melania, she no longer great. Anger appeared overat Hillary Clinton who dressed in a $2,190 he sees as responsidramatically ble for all things evil. sleeved gown from Anger at immigrants, U.K.-based designer at Muslims, at blacks, Roksanda Ilincic— at wormen who want another Serbian abortions, and at journative. Originally nalist who dare to quesmarketed as a tion his behavior. wedding dress “for Unfortunately, that the modern bride,” anger does far more the virginal look of than just polarize this the cocktail dress country. It spreads made her look more like a primeval ooze appropriate for a across the world, giving Soul Train Awards strength to ISIS in show than a politiEurope, revolutionarcal convention. ies in Turkey, isolaWhen Melania tionists in England, opened her mouth to and missile launches in speak about family North Korea. and integrity, what emerged was a Is it any wonder that the meltspeech plagiarized from one given down in Cleveland continues eight years ago by Michelle Obama unabated. Or that Donald Trump introducing herself to the Democratic does not care. He isn’t paying National Convention. Trump’s aides attention to what’s actually happenchalked the controversy up to media ing on the convention floor. The bias and blamed Hillary Clinton’s only thing that matters to Donald campaign -- even though the apparTrump is what’s always mattered ent plagiarism was discovered by an to Donald Trump—how he looks; independent journalist and had gone how he sounds; and how well he viral long before anyone on the Clinstirs the pot. In the meantime, the ton campaign had woken up to the Republican Party is literally eating fact that Melania’s heavily accented its young on national TV, destroyEnglish had been originally heard out ing itself from the inside out. of the mouth of the now-First Lady. Disposing of the carcass? That will Former Trump campaign be Hillary’s problem. nn manager Corey Lewandowski said

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AS I SEE IT

The Ugly Mess called the Republican Convention

For the last few nights, I’ve watched the Republican National Convention--determined to have an open mind. As an editor and as a journalist, my personal politics are less important than my responsibility to translate what I see and hear, and reflect it back so that you can wrap your heads around the reality of what is taking place in America. Trust us when we say, it’s not pretty. BY The RICHARD Republican Party has HACK some major problems, and the least of these is Donald Trump. The politicians today who label themselves Republican conservatives do not recognize themselves in the actions of Republicans who label themselves Tea Party conservatives. They don’t recognize fiscal conservatives, or Constitutional conservatives either, for that matter. Each has its message; its supporters; its mandates. They barely know how to talk to one another anymore these days, and are completely paralyzed in their effort to accomplish anything in Congress, despite having a majority. Add into this puddle of political inconsistency a man named Donald Trump. A clown so incapable of coming up with a concept that 10

July 21, 2016

is workable that he covers his lack of knowledge and experience with hyperbole about high walls or racial insults so blatant that world leaders look at him like some sort of Yankee punchline from a dirty joke. Yet there we were, determined to keep an open mind as the show went on: the red, white and blue balloons netted high about the delegates who were making every effort to pretend that there was a party going on. Screams and shouts and high-fives all around as if their laughing stock of a candidate with his laughing stock of a running mate, vice-presidential wanna-be Mike Pence, will somehow pass as the real deal if they could just make enough noise to distract attention for the truth that one of them is a racist and a bigot, and the other is a bigot and a woman hater, albeit one with political connections. As fascinating as it is to watch these loyal conservatives party in Cleveland, it’s even more interesting to notice who didn’t make the trip. Apparently many legitimate Republicans hate their candidates so much that they did the unthinkable. They didn’t come out to play at all. Ohio governor John Kasich, who lives just two hours away, wanted no part of it. Neither did Ohio Senator Rob Portman. No living GOP nominee showed up (except Bob Dole who looked like he was lost and thought he was in Cincinatti). None of the Bushes were there—and we all know how large that family tree is. We looked but couldn’t find Senator Ben Sasse from Nebras-

ka. Ditto Senator Kelly Ayotte from New Hampshire and Marco Rubio from Florida. Rubio, of course, is nearly as nasty a bigot as vp hopeful Mike Pence, so he should have felt right at home. But even Marco Rubio was too uncomfortable with the TrumpPence ticket to travel to Cleveland and pretend that this fiasco is going to have a happy ending. “Make America Great Again” sounds like it’s such an honorable goal until it’s put in the guise of an absentee landlord turned politician who drops only vague clues how he’s going to achieve this seeming miracle. Forget that he’s giving the boot to 11 million illegal immigrants who willingly do much of the manual labor in this country. Ban all Muslims, with or without Burqas from entering the U.S. Slap tariffs on all Chinese and Mexican imports, increasing the cost of some cars and food by 50%. Oh, and let’s not forget the $10 trillion in tax cuts for the rich

over the next decade. Somehow, we’re not feeling “great” yet. As we write this, there is one day left in the Republican National Convention—the one in which Donald Trump will speak. The balloons will drop; everyone will dance in the aisles; to Queen’s “We Are the Champions” to which he does not own the rights. Ah, but technicalities aside, like everything in the Republican Presidential race, this convention was all about The Donald, and making good TV. Instead we got television at its worst. Misinformation, misdirection, and a missed opportunity to bring together a party now ripped apart more than ever.

Richard Hack is the award-winning author of 26 books, and the Vice President of Content for Multimedia Platforms’ publications.

“

Technicalities aside, like everything in the Republican Presidential race, this convention was all about The Donald, and making good TV.”

OPINION DR. DURRELL’S SPIRITUAL PRESCRIPTIONS

[

AVOID HOMOPHOBIA DISGUISED AS RELIGION they discredit religion (not the people against whom they are using religion as a weapon). They make religion seem petty, vile, mean-spirited, intolerant, and dehumanizing. They make religion less appealing to those who might benefit from cathartic rituals, sacred stories, and a framework to share life-journeys. Religion can be wonderful, but not if it is reduced to a psychological bulldozer knocking down human dignity. I am a person of faith, not to secure privilege in a future life, and not to condemn and demonize people I don’t like in this life. I am a person of faith because prayer is the language of expressing my heart’s deepest longings. I am a person of faith because ancient scriptures show people struggling to overcome obstacles and to make meaning of life even and especially when life seems unfair. I am a person of faith because loving, spiritual communities bring hope and healing to people in crisis, and they provide holy space to express hope and celebrate the joys of life. I am a person of faith because it is the poetry of religion that persuaded me that I am never alone in this universe, that I am somehow connected to all that is, all that has ever been,

PAUL BERGE

There are those who vehemently oppose LGBTQQI people being treated fairly in society. They promise to elect candidates who will repeal laws and rulings that afford equal protection to the Queer community, and until such legal protections are reversed, they will try to pass new laws that exempt them from honoring the current By Rev. ones that protect sameDurrell gender loving and gender non-conforming citizens. Watkins These opponents of equality say that their disdain for Queer people is religious in nature and religion should guarantee them the freedom to deny freedom to those they dislike. It’s a circular argument meant to protect their privilege, but they stand by it. Here’s the thing: When people hide behind religion to justify and enforce their prejudices,

and all that ever will be. There are many reasons to be a person of faith, and none of them include verbal gay-bashing. We are once again in a season when Queer people will be targeted, blamed, vilified, objectified, shamed, accused, and utterly disrespected. Homophobia will be not only justified in the name of religion, it will be featured as virtue and hailed as a moral value; but hatred disguised as holiness and fear presented as faith are both reprehensible acts that blaspheme the very nature of religion. Religion at its best affirms human dignity, bears witness to the unity of all humanity, celebrates the sacred value of all people, rejoices in human potential, and blesses genuine love unconditionally. Religion, or perhaps I should say spiritual community, says as a first century Galilean prophet reportedly once said, “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you.” Religious language will be used a lot in the days to come to promote hatred. Please don’t fall for it. It is your choice whether or not to identify as a person of faith, but don’t accept or internalize the rhetoric of others who claim to be persons of faith who misuse the language of faith to damn or deprecate you. They may claim religious authority but they do not speak for religion in its healthiest expression. Using religion to cause pain is not the same as being faithful. nn

Rev. Durrell Watkins, M.A., M.Div., D.Min. is the Senior Minister of Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale, “a different kind of church.”

What’s your opinion?

The Florida Agenda welcomes signed Letters to the Editor, up to 400 words in length, on topics of general interest to our readers. You may e-mail submissions to Editor@mmplgbt.com. We welcome comments on our Facebook page also. July 21, 2016

CAPITOL BEAT

Why Sanders Supporters Need To Vote

This week, an open letter to fellow Bernie Sanders supporters who have announced that they will not vote in November: Please remove the “Black Lives Matter” sign from your lawn. That rainbow flag in your window? Take it down. Toss away that demo placard you made that read “We Are All Immigrants.” Please return your copy of “Suffragette” to Netflix. By choosing not to vote, you have decided that, after all, none of those causes actually matter. Black lives, LGBT rights, the welfare of immigrants, smashing the glass ceiling; all of these count for little compared to BY preserving inLINDA tact your prePENTZ cious — and let’s face it, white, comfortable, middle-class — integrity. And please stop railing at your former hero for his “base betrayal” in endorsing Hillary Clinton for president. This kind of messianic Bernie-or-bust mentality reeks of exactly the same cult-like populism that has propelled Donald Trump to the GOP nomination. The Sanders campaign was never about Bernie. It was about justice and democracy and starting a movement. It was about

July 21, 2016

injecting a genuinely progressive agenda into a Democratic party that badly needed a shake-up and a left turn. So far so good. We have made progress. These kinds — or any kinds — of revolutions don’t happen overnight. The women’s suffrage movement took decades. So did civil rights. People died to get some of us the vote. A real revolution takes work and persistence. It’s not a 140-character, 1-click endeavor. You actually have to get out there and then stay out there. For years. Going home to sulk and sling mud and “vote your conscience” for a third party, or not at all, really isn’t an option right now. The job is not yet done. Building a movement just isn’t the same as signing a petition on Change.org. Sorry. I share your concerns about Clinton’s corporatism but not voting won’t change that. Not voting could change the country dramatically, especially for immigrants, Muslims, the LGBT community, African Americans, Hispanics, the poor, women….. if your non-vote gets us Trump/ Pence. The Sanders campaign awakened and inspired the young. It revitalized seasoned campaigners. It made socialism start to look possible. It gave hope to the oppressed. This energy must not dissipate in a hissy fit. It must be leveraged. You can help. So there’s a choice. Retreat to your cave with your cafe latte and lick your wounds. Or

keep working. After all, even a Sanders presidency wouldn’t have been an overnight sensation. It’s Congress that needs replacing — House and Senate. It’s not enough for both to swing Democrat. Some Democrats are indistinguishable from Republicans. Congress needs to swing to Bernie Democrats. That’s precisely what Sanders has turned his attention to and it’s where you come in. Instead of whining, get off the couch. Stop bashing Hillary on Facebook. Run for elected office! We actually need people like you to be present, not absent. In endorsing Clinton, Sanders realizes that right now, we will be more effective inside the system than out. That’s how we’ve won already, on health care and college tuition. There are still more platforms to populate with our better ideas. If you really care about everything the Sanders campaign has achieved, then don’t be a quitter. Let’s keep the Bern burning, if not for you, then for the sake of those less fortunate, whose dreams will be turned to nightmares by a Trump presidency. For heaven’s sake, vote. nn

Linda Pentz is the Washington correspondent of the Florida Agenda. She can be contacted at lindapentz@mmplgbt.com. Follow her on Twitter @CapitolAgenda

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FYI

I’M JUST SAYIN’

Hillary Wants You! Bernie Sanders endorsed Democratic primary opponent Hillary Clinton, die-hard fans of the senator threatened that they wouldn’t be as willing to transfer their allegiances to the presumptive nominee. But for all the talk of Sanders supporters moving to the Green Party, staying home or even voting for GOP candidate Donald Trump instead, already some of his backers are lining up behind Clinton. After a long primary battle, the Clinton campaign is clearly eager to unify Democrats behind a single candidate, particularly with the Democratic National Convention coming up later this month. Sanders has not technically dropped out of the race, but his endorsement was an acknowledgement that he lost the nomination process and that it is important to now work together to defeat Trump. “Secretary Clinton has won the Democratic nominating process, and I congratulate her for that,” Sanders said. “She will be the Democratic nominee for president and I intend to do everything I can to make certain she will be the next president of the United States.” The Clinton campaign has been working to bring Sanders supporters on board through direct appeals, events and efforts to adopt some of his messages. The former Sanders backers now urging support for Clinton touted his influence on the race, tying the two Democratic candidates together on issues. nn--Kevin Broady

July 21, 2016

CREEP OF THE WEEK

Raul Labrador BY D’ANNE WITOWSKI

With the massacre of men and women at a gay club in Orlando barely behind us, one could perhaps be forgiven for thinking that this horrific hate crime had inspired some soul searching for members of the United States House. You know, “We are Orlando” and all that. But you would be wrong. The House is one of the most dysfunctional and unproductive in history, which is no surprise considering their primary focus has been on hating President Obama and giving reacharounds to the rich. But they’ve always got time for discrimination against LGBT people. Right now the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform is kicking around the “First Amendment Defense Act” (FADA) which, you guessed it, uses “freedom of religion” as a shield for anti LGBT bias. According to the House summary, FADA “prohibits the federal government from taking discriminatory action against a person on the basis that such person believes or acts in accordance with a religious belief or moral conviction that: (1) marriage is or should be recognized as the union of one man and one woman, or (2) sexual relations are properly reserved to such a marriage.” By “discriminatory action” 14

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they mean that the federal government can’t fine, revoke tax-exempt status, deny grants or contracts, or deny any federal benefits to a person who is blatantly discriminating against LGBT people as long as that person claims that Jesus made them do it. (I know it says “regardless of religious affiliation,” but I have my doubts that FADA’s supporters are totally embracing Muslims here). It’s not hard to see why “flail and panic” bills like FADA (and like the laws we’ve seen pass in states like North Carolina) are popping up at all levels of government. Conservatives are hella pissed about marriage equality and this is their way of stomping their feet and gnashing their teeth. In other words, it’s a legislative temper tantrum. FADA’s sponsor, Raul Labrador (R-Idaho), has a storied anti-equality voting record. In fact, the Conservative Review gives him a “Liberty Score” of 95, which means he’s an A student on the right. Conversely, he has a zero on the Human Rights Campaign’s Congressional Scorecard. Back in April, Labrador told News Radio 1310’s Bill Colley, “We’re just trying to protect the individual from punishment by the federal government for believing in a particular belief system.” This is not exactly accurate.

FADA defines “person” as “any person regardless of religious affiliation, including corporations and other entities regardless of for-profit or nonprofit status.” Well, that about covers it. In the interview, Labrador referred to marriage equality as “something that our culture up to recently did not accept, and frankly I still don’t believe that it accepts, because it was five robed justices that made that decision. It wasn’t the states that made the decision.” Mind you, if the case had gone the other way, I have no doubt he’d be singing the praises of those robed justices. In a press release from last year (injustice and justice alike often move slowly) Labrador said, “Our bill ensures that the federal government does not penalize Americans for following their religious beliefs or moral convictions on traditional marriage. Our bill shields against federal intrusion without taking anything away from anyone.” Without taking anything away from anyone? Well, I suppose if you don’t consider civil rights a something and don’t consider LGBT people, well, people. It’s convenient to present this bill as if it’s just maintaining some harmless status quo, but in reality it provides sweeping protections for anti-LGBT bigotry. Bigotry that taxpayers would essentially be subsidizing. nn

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OPINION

WHO IS?

Raul Labrador Raúl Rafael Labrador (born December 8, 1967) is an American politician who has been the U.S. Representative for Idaho’s congressional district since 2006. He is a member of the Republican Party, and was ranked one of “Newsmax’s 50 Most Influential Latino Republicans” in 2016. Orginally born in Puerto Rico, Labrador relocated to Las Vegas, Nevada, as a child. He married in 1991, then relocated to his wife’s home state of Idaho and practiced immigration law until he was elected to the House of Representatives in 2006. He is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints along with his wife and five children. In June, 2015, Labrador introduced HR 2802, titled the “First Amendment Defense Act” (FADA) which was said to protect those who oppose same-sex marriage based on their religious beliefs from action by the federal government. Critics, like Ian Thompson of the American Civil Liberties Union claimed that the bill would “open the door to unprecedented taxpayer-funded discrimination against LGBT people, single mothers, and unmarried couples.” nn –Kevin Broady

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July 21, 2016

THE TROPICAL GARDENER

By Chuck Nicholls Master Gardener

FANCY LEAF CALADIUMS

dd a splash of color to your summer garden. Originating from the Central and South America, Fancy leaf Caladiums are a perfect solution to Florida’s hot and humid summers. Whether grown in containers, flower beds or used as border plants, caladiums will add fabulous color and dimension to any area of your home or garden. Other than some flowering shrubs and trees, it is difficult to grow annuals such as zinnias, petunias and marigolds in the summer. These plants are best grown in the winter in South Florida. Caladiums belong to the family Araceae which includes the common Elephant Ears and Alocasias. There are many colorful varieties of colors ranging from red, pink and various shades of green and white. Each variety has its unique leaf, vein and color characteristics. They are categorized into two type of varieties. Fancy varieties have large heart shaped leaves and grow 18-24 inches in height. One of

July 21, 2016

my favorite varieties is “ White Queen”. The lance leaf varieties are known for their narrow elongated leaves and unusually shorter (12-18” in height). I personally love the lace leaf varieties. I have used a variety “Florida Sweetheart” as a unique summer ground cover. This year, I am very enthusiastic about growing the variety “White Wing” in a shady location in the front garden. Plants are generally available in quart and gallon containers in late April and early May. Caladium Bulbs are available in late winter and early spring in garden centers and nurseries. I prefer to buy bulbs from wholesalers since I usually order in quantity. I start my bulbs in wooden or plastic flats and cover them with peat moss or light soil for 2-4 weeks until new leaves appear. At that point, I transfer directly to the soil in the garden or in various pots and containers. In Fall, the plants will begin to wither as they

begin to go dormant. I often leave the plants that are in the ground and they will emerge in Spring. I place other bulbs (previously grown in pots and containers) in open pots and store under shrubs in the shade. Most of the caladiums available in the U.S. are grown in Lake Placid, Florida. The growing of these bulbs is an important part of agriculture in Lake Placid. A major Caladium Festival is coming up July 29-31 (Friday-Sunday). Many activities are planned for the festival including a bus tour of the many growers producing these bulbs. Further information call be obtained by calling 863 465-45331. You can learn more about this shrub and other plants by attending The Equality Park Garden Club which meets at the Pride Center every third Wednesday of the month at 7:30 pm. The Pride Center is located at 2040 North Dixie Highway, Wilton Manors. Photos: Happiness Farms Lake Placid, FL

THE SECRET RECIPE

KIBBEH K

ibbeh is a delicious middle eastern delight. Kibbeh is an Arabic word meaning ball. According to the book Jerusalem by Yotam Ottolenghi, the ability to roll a good kibbeh could snag you a happy husband! So fellas get rolling! You can substitute ground beef for the lamb, and feel free to play with the spices. You can add cinnamon and allspice instead of curry and cumin.

Ingredients: ½ lb bulgur wheat 1/3 c water 1 t curry powder ½ t ground cumin ½ t salt ½ onion, chopped ½ lb ground lamb

1 garlic clove 1 T vegetable oil ½ t curry powder ½ t cumin 1 t black pepper 2 t pine nuts ¼ lb ground lamb ½ T dried mint

By Maura Mumball Lane

Directions: 1. Pour ½ lb. of fine bulgur wheat in a medium bowl, add 1/3 cup water mix well and let sit for 12 minutes. Add 1 teaspoon curry powder, ½ teaspoon ground cumin and ½ teaspoon salt. Chop in ½ onion and mix. Transfer to food processor and grind into a paste. 2. Transfer bulgur mixture paste back to the bowl and add in ½ lb. of ground lamb. Refrigerate for half hour. 3. Dice ½ onion and mince 1 garlic clove. Add to pan and sauté in 1 tablespoon vegetable oil. Add ½ tablespoon curry powder, ½ teaspoon cumin and 1 teaspoon black pepper. When onion is translucent add 2 tablespoons of pine nuts and ¼ pound of ground lamb. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes. 4. Remove from heat, add ½ tablespoon of dried mint. Remove bulgur and lamb mixture from the refrigerator. Shape bulgur mixture into torpedo pods leaving room to stuff with sautéed onion and lamb mixture. Stuff torpedoes and close up ends. Place a bowl of water to keep your fingers from getting sticky. Dipping fingers in water helps you shape the pods. 5. Fry kibbeh in a deep sauce pan or deep fryer with plain vegetable oil until golden brown. Drain on paper towels and serve hot with yogurt and lemon.

July 21, 2016

ENTERTAINMENT

Xbox 360

July 21, 2016

CUBA’S MANO A MANO MAKE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC

his Saturday, July 23, at 8 pm, Mano a Mano, Cuba’s first and only gay men’s chorus will be joining Fort Lauderdale’s own Gay Men’s Chorus of South Florida in a concert at the Sunshine Cathedral. Mano a Mano has been touring the country for over a month in their first-ever exposure to American audiences. The group, consisting of lead singer Arian Ferrer, Orlando Cartier, Carlos Rajos, Yolan Arencibia and Miguel Angel Herrara, was the brainchild of Fermin Rojas, a Cuban-born filmmaker from Miami Beach who thought of forming a gay chorus in his homeland as a form of sharing his culture. Rojas was in Havana filming the documentary Alumbrones with his husband, producer Jay Kubesch, when the concept began as a kernel of an idea that flowered with the hiring of musical director Ernesto Lima Parets, an adjunct professor at University of Havana School of Music. Auditions were held and

the gay men of Cuba responded, apparently eager to share their music in a country where the concept of macho is an enduring one. The connection with the Gay Men’s Chorus of South Florida was an easy one. Rojas’ friend, Cuban-American Chris Verdugo, is the executive director. The upcoming concert will be the last for Mano a Mano on its current US tour, but the boys will be back. America, it seems, likes their sound, and the boys LOVE America. The gay chorus takes part in Cuba’s annual festival that brings attention to homophobia and transphobia, as part of CENESEX, the National Center for Sex Education lead by Raul Castro’s daughter Mariela. Tickets for ¡Fraternidad! (Brotherhood), with Mano a Mano and the Gay Men’s Chorus of South Florida are available at www.gaymenschorusofsouthflorida.org/tickets_2015_2016.html. nn

July 21, 2016

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

n n n n n BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Romeo San Vicente just wants James Bond’s gadget-filled car.

STEVE BUSCEMI WILL LEAN ON PETE

ever forget, please, that back in the 1980s when non-gay actors were usually too afraid to play gay characters, Steve Buscemi launched his film career with a classic piece of Queer Cinema, Parting Glances. So it feels right and fitting that after a critically lauded stretch of acting work these past three decades, he’ll be joining forces with acclaimed gay filmmaker Andrew Haigh (Weekend, 45 Years). The film is titled Lean On Pete, and instead of a boy and his dog tale, this one’s about a boy and his horse. Well, maybe not his horse, exactly. A personal project for Haigh, he’ll adapt Willy Vlautin’s novel about a 15-year-old boy looking for his long-lost aunt, his only companion a stolen racehorse named Lean On Pete. One of Buscemi’s former Boardwalk Empire co-stars, Charlie Plummer (Granite Flats), will play the boy, with Buscemi playing a character named “Del.” More casting news to follow, no doubt, but look for this one sometime in 2017.

KRISTEN STEWART IS ALL ABOUT A FEMALE JAMES BOND

t’s funny how ideas take hold on the internet. Case in point: a female James Bond. Nobody from the world of James Bondbased decision-making is really talking about this. But Gillian Anderson did. So did Game of Thrones’ Emilia Clarke. So did Bollywood star Priyanka Chopra. They’d all like their shot at playing Bond, and who can blame them? And now it’s a thing. So when the subject came up at a recent press junket with Kristen Stewart, she didn’t exactly throw her hat in the ring of speculative consider-

ation, but she did express enthusiasm for the subject, which is kind of the same thing. Calling the middleaged while male version of bond “stale” (and she’s right), she laid out her idea for how the next Bond film might introduce the change: a Bond Girl becomes a Bond girlfriend becomes Bond herself. It’s sort of perfect, really, and why didn’t we think of that? Now, Bond People, if Idris Elba is off the list (and we have no idea if he is or he isn’t, but let’s all pause for a moment to shed a couple of tears), then why not give one of these women the chance to prove her 007 chops? It’s certainly time.

VITA & VIRGINIA

UNITES LOVERS SACKVILLE-WEST & WOOLF

ne of the 20th century’s most talked about literary love affairs was the one between Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West. Often ignored by scholars, who tended to focus their attention on the two writers’ heterosexual relationships, their story has been told a few times now in various media, reclaiming a vital piece of queer cultural history. A play by Dame Eileen 22

July 21, 2016

Atkins is the basis for this new project, Vita & Virginia, which will be produced in England and directed by Chanya Button (Burn Burn Burn). More news to come on this one, obviously, since the leads have yet to be cast. But this is VIRGINA WOOLF just the kind of British period drama we live for now that Downton Abbey is no more, and we were always notso-secretly hoping for a couple of well-spoken aristocratic women on that program to conduct a clandestine affair. We’ll finally get our VITA SACKVILLE-WEST wish with this one.

HBO CHECKS THE TRANS LIST

imothy Greenfield-Sanders, the director of The Out List and The Black List, has returned with his latest interview-based documentary, The Trans List, which focuses on the lives and stories of transgender people, some famous, some not. Produced for HBO (which will air it later this year), the film is currently making festival rounds, and returns to the format of the filmmaker’s earlier work: subjects looking directly into the lens and telling their stories without any intrusion from off-camera. It’s a simple, elegant way of making interviews happen, and one that the

filmmaker has perfected over time. The community’s most well-known faces will make appearances – people like Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Caitlyn Jenner and Buck Angel – but the film will also focus on everyday trans Iraq War veterans, surviving Stonewall participants, community activists, and people like Amos Mac, publisher of Original Plumbing magazine. Fingers crossed that by the time it airs Ms. Jenner will be over her very public fixation on a certain reality show host-turnedPresidential candidate. And if not, well, we’re watching it anyway.

July 21, 2016

CELEBRITY FEATURE

Forever Fabulous

n n n n n BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

July 21, 2016

Over drinks (obvs), Ab Fab stars Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley dish on their gay darlings, drag doubles and being ahead of the queer curve.

ow to be a free spirit, why a wallet (not a toaster) is better suited to carry cash, the power of a heavy pour – since 1992, fictional besties Edina Monsoon and Patsy Stone, played by Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley, respectively, have guided legions of outsiders into the light. (And not just after a late-night Stolichnaya vodka binge blackout.)

As the Absolutely Fabulous duo cheerfully imbibe from London, it’s a classic case of life imitating art – everyone wants to get these iconic ladies smashed as they “work” the promo for their long-awaited return to the screen with Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie. Oh yes, sweetie darlings, it’s a real thing now. Thank god; thank vodka. The film is Edina and

Patsy’s first time together since 2012, when the series celebrated its 20-year anniversary. For the premiere movie adaptation of the BBC series, Saunders, making good on her pledge to write more adventures for the delicious TV-born trainwrecks, stars alongside Lumley and a cast of familiar faces – Julia Sawalha as Saffy, Jane Horrocks as Bubble and June Whitfield as Mother,

plus star cameos – as they continue to live their best, booziest lives. Pour yourself a Stoli-Bolli and read on as Saunders, 58, and Lumley, 70, sip their signature cocktail and dish about their “great crash entrance” into gaydom, being ahead of the queer curve and how the LGBT community catapulted Absolutely Fabulous to global-phenom status.

ENTERTAINMENT I don’t want to shock you with this news and I hope you’re sitting down, but gay people really like you. Jennifer: (Both laugh) And we love gay people!

both of you, what was Q For your introduction to the gay

community? Jennifer: Oh! So long ago, I can’t really think. It just seems like college; I had gay friends then. To be honest, I don’t know. It just seems to have always been there. Joanna: But I think the great crash entrance was when we had Absolutely Fabulous and we were welcomed into New York to a certain extent. That was quite fantastic. Jennifer: Yeah. And the first time we saw our drag doubles was startling! (Laughs) Because you realize quite how small we are, and short and insignificant, when you’re standing next to your drag doubles. They’re more glamorous than we could even hope to be! Joanna: And occasionally with a beard! Jennifer: And often with a beard; yes, you’re right! (Both laugh.)

You just made an appearance during London Pride. Because the gay fandom for Ab Fab is so intense, I’m surprised you can go anywhere with a sea of gays and it’s not a mob scene. When gay fans see you in everyday life, what are those encounters like? Jennifer: Really lovely, I have to say. Because people love the show and love the characters, I always get such a nice response. Joanna: We get kissing and we get a bit of selfies, and it’s lovely. Joanna: I think we’re recognized more if we’re together. The response is more extreme.

How did Ab Fab come to be so gay? Did you make the show for gay people? Jennifer: No, we didn’t. And we’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I think (the gay fandom is) because of the friendship and because they’re not in search of love – they’re not constantly looking for a man, they’re quite happy with each other. They live life to the fullest, they live life without brakes and the friendship is all (they need), I think. Joanna: And I think because they’re glamorous. Edina always longed for (her daughter) Saffy to come out as gay and she’s very proud of having a gay son, Serge. But there were always gay people in the show, Jennifer; you always had them written in. Jennifer: Yeah, ’cause it’s normal.

When the show ran from 1992-1995, the word “gay” was barely uttered on television. Then you two came along and changed the game. Jennifer: Good!

Was it your intent to introduce queer themes and people into the television zeitgeist? Jennifer: To be honest, we never analyzed it like that. It just seemed to me, if we were representing lives, especially those in the fashion world and the creative world – it’s full of gay people. And you know, Edina married one – one of her husbands was gay! (Laughs) It’s just part of the fabric of society.

I know friends who call you their lifeline because they’re gay and grew up in small towns; they had no role models, no one who even acknowledged them or their sexuality. How does it feel to know that you and these characters had an immense influence on people in the LGBT community? Jennifer: I feel incredibly proud, then. We have a lot to thank the gay community for, because I think the show largely started being popular in the gay community and through that into the wider community. So, it’s been a lovely relationship.

Joanna: We had the most wonderful award given to us in New York from the LGBT community (the 2002 Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Award) and I’m totally proud of mine. It’s a wonderful citation which has made us priestesses of New York forever. It came from them thanking us for exactly what you’re thanking us for and it makes me feel so humbled because Jennifer actually wrote these two characters and the characters are the people who have somehow become attached to us like an outer skin. It’s rather thrilling to be attached to those characters.

How attached are you to those characters? Jennifer: Only in that it’s very hard to move without having a glass of champagne put into your hands. That makes life really, really nice. (Both laugh.)

Are you drinking at this very moment? Jennifer: We are! Hugely! She’s just poured a vodka into my champagne. What cocktail do you recommend people order when they watch Ab Fab: The Movie? Joanna: I think it’s gotta be the Stoli-Bolli cocktail. Stolichnaya vodka slipped into a glass of champagne – it’s almost half and half, actually, the way we drink it. (Both laugh.) Jennifer: It just knocks the bubbles out and puts a little bit more alcohol in. Joanna: But as they would not add: Please drink responsibly. Jennifer: It would damage your health. It would severely damage your health. (Both laugh.)

July 21, 2016

ENTERTAINMENT Edina is always saying, “All my friends are gay.” How true is that for you in real life? Jennifer: (Laughs) All my friends are gay!

Joanna, let’s talk about Patsy being transgender. Her gender change was addressed several times during the series. Why was it decided that Patsy should be trans? Joanna: Yes, in series 2 (episode) “Morocco,” we had a flashback to when Patsy had indeed been taking hormones and grown a mustache... Jennifer: (Laughs.) Joanna: And cut her hair off, had something switched on. Sadly after a year, it dropped off and she stopped the hormones, had a quick shave and went back to being Patsy again. But she goes in and out of it. And I think she was slightly dreading having to do it this time (for the movie), which is why she tried to resist. (Slips into character as Patsy.) “No, Eddy, no!” And indeed she managed to fool a very, very old almost-blind woman that she was a man. Jennifer: She makes a very good man. We are basically like a married couple, Edina and Patsy, in a funny way. (Laughs.) And they are sort of genderless. Joanna: Indeed. In one of the New York episodes, we got married by Whoopi Goldberg! (Both laugh.)

I’ve always thought of you as gay men in women’s bodies. Jennifer and Joanna: We are, yeah!

What advice do both of you have for gays who are on a quest to live their best life? Jennifer: Don’t listen to anybody else. Kate Moss’s great 26

July 21, 2016

thing: “Never complain, never explain.” That’s a very good way of living. Joanna: She’s adapted it from the original quotation, which was from the 1930s: “Never apologize, never explain.” Jennifer: Oh! Joanna: Never apologize – I think that’s a good one.

You’ve always had something to say about the PR industry on the show. What other business could use some mocking? Jennifer: I think politics is just making a mockery of itself at the moment, so that’s not much help. Joanna: Bankers have sort of been done, with things like The Wolf of Wall Street and The Big Short and so on. All those that have kind of taken on the financial world. What else is there, Jennifer? Plenty? Jennifer: (Laughs.) I don’t know! Joanna: But you didn’t really set out to make a parody of it – you just had that as the background. Jennifer: Well, the great thing about PR is you can do anything. It can be any job, you can go anywhere. It’s such a wide, wide field, so it was the perfect job for (Edina) because it meant that during any show, you could do anything – you’re not stuck in an office. But I suppose nowadays the thing is, nobody’s stuck in an office anymore. You know, anyone can live online, live at home, work at home, do their own PR via social media. You could honestly do your job from your bed, and that’s fantastic.

London Pride, they were very well dressed. I think Patsys are becoming better dressed, and that’s quite important for Patsy because you’ve gotta start off looking good, like you’ve got somewhere to go. Always give yourself somewhere to go.

And then by the end of the night? Jennifer: By the end of the night, you can be hopeless. I mean, literally. Spread eagle.

What about Eddy, How is she dressed? Jennifer: Oh, Eddy… everything’s gotta be too small. Wear shoes that literally hobble you

and costumes that strangle you. Remember that Eddy has never woken and not been marked by her clothing; she’s always marked. Elasticated marks everywhere on her body from the clothes. Where can we expect to see Eddy and Patsy in 20 years? Jennifer: In a home. Joanna: Attached to intravenous bottles of Stolichnaya and Bolly. Still smoking like chimneys. Organs removed. Jennifer: But having a fabulous time. Joanna: Still having a fabulous time.

Any final words for your gay darlings? Joanna: We love you, sweetie darlings!

doing Eddy and Q When Patsy in drag, what should

a queen always keep in mind? Jennifer: Ohh, well, you know, the funny thing is, when they do Patsy they used to always do kind of trashy dressing. But actually, I noticed yesterday at

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. He’s also the proud recipient of an “I adore you, daaahhhling!” from Mariah Carey. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

July 21, 2016

PUZZLE

n n n n n Across

1 Where to find bulging pecs 6 Shirley MacLaine’s Out on a ___ 10 Cheryl of Charlie’s Angels 14 Man of morals 15 About Uranus? 16 Gillette razor product 17 Orange is the New ___ (TV show of this puzzle’s quote) 18 Michael Buble’s “___ Little Tenderness” 19 Sow’s mate 20 Pinto prodder 21 Start of Piscatella’s description of two beards 23 Former Time film critic 25 Some like it hot 26 Michelangelo’s David, e.g. 29 Threesome member for Dumas 31 More of the description 33 LA clock setting 36 Rainbow maker 37 SEP, e.g. 38 Singing group at Metropolitan Community Church 40 Dick Cheney, to Mary 41 More of the description 43 Erection of buffalo skins 45 Like Abe 46 Amanda of Married... With Children 49 Debtor’s car, maybe 50 End of the description 53 Cosmetic surgery that sucks 57 End note 58 Guinness of The Lavender Hill Mob 59 Piscatella, at the prison 60 Circumcision, for one 61 Vehicle with a turret 62 Uninvited spa guests? 63 Kind of beer 64 Herbert’s Fortune and Men’s ___ 65 Channel markers

Piscatella’s Two Beards Down

1 Where truckers park their bottoms 2 “Can’t ___ Lovin’ That Man of Mine” 3 Genesis man 4 Gay old philosopher, perhaps 5 Rd. where they toll you so 6 Leguin’s The ___ of Heaven 7 About, in memos 8 Deli jarful 9 Rue’s role on The Golden Girls 10 Hercules’ dozen 11 Show penitence 12 Area of Tennessee? 13 Hannah of Steel Magnolias 21 Dawson’s Creek type 22 Classified letters 24 One of the Marianas 26 Milk force, for short 27 Scarlett’s plantation 28 Phantom scar source 29 Up ___ (in hot water) 30 Language of Bangkok 32 Wine’s partner 33 Prod with a rod 34 Is on the bottom? 35 Show, with “out” 38 Chicken pen 39 Place for a good lei 41 Emulate Dr. Kildare 42 Those, to Gomer 43 Comparatively hackneyed 44 Ricky Martin’s that 46 Tennis champ Borg 47 Jazzman Blake 48 Drag queen Mann 49 Stones 51 Three Tall Women, for one 52 Surrealist Magritte 54 Otello villain 55 Do oral things on one’s knees 56 Lines from Lesbos 59 Use your tongue

July 21, 2016

SUMMER BINGE WATCHING PART FIVE

n n n n n BY MAURA MUMBALL LANE

SERIES/ AMAZON PRIME

THE NEW YORKER PRESENTS

Everything you wanted in a television magazine is here in The New Yorker Presents. This ground breaking series brings the award winning magazine to the screen with a compelling mixture of

clever shorts, the iconic cartoons and documentaries of New York life from origins of the September 11th attacks to the Naked Cowboy in Times Square. If you like 60 minutes and the unmistakable New Yorker wit, poetry and critical thinking, this is the series for you.

HULU

11.22.63

ight episode J.J. Abrams series based on Stephen King’s best seller 11.22.63. The series is about a story surrounding President John F. Kennedy’s assassination. Starring James Franco, this time travel series is weaved into one of the

SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES HULU

ulu is a popular streaming subscription choice for tv show fans who want to cut the cord but keep current with the lasts shows. The service provides access to most networks and is inexpensive. You won’t find Madame Secretary or any other CBS shows and there are frequent commercials but the cool thing about hulu is that you can access the entire season. For the BBC lovers, hulu Plus is the best place to get BBC content in the United States (Great British Bakeoff, Dr. Who) Monthly fee $7.99

July 21, 2016

most important moments in American history. Fans of the book have plenty to gripe about concerning the changes when converted to a series, but you will be instantly pulled into this period piece by the brilliant cast.

HARDWARE Xbox 360

aming consoles now have the ability stream movies and television. Netflix and hulu are just available on Xbox 360 or Xbox. Set up is simple from the apps menu and this is a great option for gamers who don’t want to add another piece of hardware or costly HDMI cords to their big screen sets. With a high speed connection like any other device, streaming is fast and convenient without wait time for loading.

July 21, 2016

HEALTH

Crimestoppers

LIQUID BIOCELL:

REWARD $3,000 HOMICIDE

By Richard Hack

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH IN A BOTTLE

f there is one common denominator that all of the diverse LGBT community experiences, it is the unwanted side effects of aging: joint pain, wrinkled skin, sagging muscles, and loss of energy. While an elixir to transport us back in time to a younger age hasn’t quite been located, Jusuru International has developed a product that’s a rather close second: Jusuru Liquid BioCell. While not exactly a miracle in a bottle, this formulation is a unique blend of 13 anti-oxidant fruit juices as well as hydrolyzed collagen, hyaluronic acid and chondroitin sulfate. Unlike topical creams and moisturizers which attack the problem from the outside in, Liquid BioCell attacks aging from the inside out, using the body’s own delivery system to refresh, reenergize, reduce inflammation, rebuild cartilage, regrow hair and gums, strengthen teeth, increase bone density, reduce scar tissue, and repair skin cells. The hydrolyzed collagen has been refined for rapid absorption and assists in wound healing, skin toning, connective tissue rebuilding, and increased energy. The hyaluronic acid tightens sagging skin while 32

July 21, 2016

removing wrinkles, stimulating immune responses and increasing mobility of aging joints. Chondrolitin sulfate is legendary for lubricating and cushioning fluids in the joints and repairing ligaments that have been strained or torn. Among the juices included in the elixir are acai, jujube, goji berry, maqui, nopal, pomegranate, and mangosteen. In addition, the product contains resveratrol, the healing agent found in the skin of red grapes. In the case of Liquid BioCell, each four-ounce daily dose has the equivalent amount of resveratrol found in eight bottles of red wine. Multiple human clinical trials on this product as well as others in the Jusuru line are available for review at liquidbiocell.com/ maxswitzer. Max Switzer is a wellness coordinator who conducts frequent seminars at area spas and rejuvenation centers. Among them: the monthly Anti Aging/ Life extension workshop at Florida Homegrow (7392 Lake Worth Rd Lake Worth, FL, July 22, 3 pm; as well as seminars on life enrichment at 5 Elements Spa in Wilton Manors, July 16, 6:30pm. nn

That occurred on June 22, 2016 at 4 am 300 E Cypress Creek Road (Cypress Creek Road and I-95) Oakland Park.

LEONARD HANKINS JR.

Photo: youtube.com

PHOTO OF THE VICTIM

WILTON MANORS

HIT AND RUN

REWARD $6,000

RAYMOND KING ANYONE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE IDENITY OR LOCATION OF THE SUSPECT(S) IS ASKED TO CALL CRIME STOPPERS. IF YOU HAVE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS ACCIDENT, PLEASE CALL DETECTIVE MICHAEL WILEY AT 954-321-4841.

954-493-TIPS (8477) 866-493-TIPS (TOLL FREE) www.browardcrimestoppers.org

July 21, 2016

nevents

nnightlife

n THE GLASS MENAGERIE

THURSDAY 7/21 @ 8:00PM The Vanguard Tennessee Williams’ classic memory play is both a staple of the theater and of the high school English classroom. Williams drew heavily upon his own life to create this piece which tells the story of Tom and his incredibly shy, glass-figurine-obsessed sister Laura. When their mother Amanda asks Tom to find a suitable suitor for Laura, a sad dinner commences. New City Players performs Williams’ first successful play at The Vanguard. 8:00 p.m. The Vanguard. 1501 S. Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale. 33316.

n COUNTING CROWS AND ROB THOMAS

FRIDAY 7/22 @ 6:45PM Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre Who can forget the ubiquitous 1990’s smash hit “Mr. Jones?” That song thrust both The Counting Crows and their album August and Everything After into superstardom. Joining the Crows is Matchbox Twenty lead singer and songwriter Rob Thomas who has had a successful solo career. He earned three Grammy Awards for his collaboration with Santana on the 1999 single “Smooth” and has maintained a constant touring schedule. His most recent album The Great Unknown includes the singles “Trust You” and “Hold on Forever.” 6:45 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.

MARLON WAYANS

FRIDAY 7/22 @ 8:00PM Fort Lauderdale Improv It wasn’t too long ago that the Wayans were the most successful comedic family in the business. The television show In Living Color starred half of the brood and subsequent films like Scary Movie, White Chicks, and I’m Gonna Get You Sucka were blockbuster smashes. He brings his spot-on impersonations and witty observations to the Improv tonight and through the weekend. 8:00 p.m. Fort Lauderdale Improv. 5700 Seminole Way. Hollywood. 33314. 34

July 21, 2016

ntheatre

n THE NAKED MAGIC SHOW SATURDAY 7/23 @ 8:00PM Broward Center Australian beefcakes Mike Tyler and Christopher Wayne wide the wave of nudity in American popular culture (think Naked and Afraid and Naked Dating) with their touring magic production. Rabbits and other things come out of hats as the two entertain with this boisterous R-rated show. The nudity aspect of the show also forces the magicians to be left without sleeves or pockets for their “tricks,” adding onto the difficulty and heightening the illusion. 8:00 p.m. Broward Center for the Performing Arts. 201 SW Fifth Ave. Fort Lauderdale. 33312.

n SONGS FOR A NEW WORLD

SATURDAY 7/23 @ 8:00PM Main Street Playhouse Current Broadway darling Jason Robert Brown started his career with this little-known musical originally produced Off-Broadway in 1995. The abstract show contains four performers who sing a series of songs relating to each character’s arc. The musical’s most famous song, “I’m Not Afraid of Anything,” has become a staple of cabaret singers. Brown would go on to create the hit musicals The Last Five Years, 13, and The Bridges of Madison County. 8:00 p.m. Main Street Playhouse. 6766 Main St. Miami Lakes. 33014.

ALIEN ANT FARM

SUNDAY 7/24 @ 7:30PM Culture Room The Riverside, California rock band is heavily influenced by alterna-music legends Primus and has sold over five million units of their five studio albums. Their first album ANThology announced their presence with their biggest hit, a frenetic cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” that would become a No.1 single in Australia and New Zealand. Their latest album Always and Forever features the singles “Let ‘Em Know” and “Homage.” Perish Lane opens. 7:30 p.m. Culture Room. 3045 N. Federal Highway. Fort Lauderdale. 33306.

By Patrick Robert

T he Week entertainment calendar

nexhibits n STET

MONDAY 7/25 @ 7:00PM Arts Garage Arts Garage presents a staged reading of Kim Davies’ new play Stet. The author of last season’s Smoke returns with this ripped-from-the-headlines story involving a young journalist tasked to write about sexual assault on college campuses. She meets a student with a horrific story to tell and decides the story is so important to publish that she neglects to find out the “truth.” The reading is presented in association with The South Florida Theater League. 7:00 p.m. Arts Garage. 180 NE First St. Delray Beach. 33444.

n THE 16TH BOOMER EXPO

TUESDAY 7/26 @ 10:00AM Seminole Casino Coconut Creek Although millennials may be getting all the headlines lately, baby boomers are the wealthiest generation and, as they approach retirement, are in need of as much guidance as ever. This expo focuses on exhibits on health and fitness, travel, finance, insurance, lifestyle products, home care, and retirement services. Boomer Times and Senior Life magazine presents the event which will showcase more than sixty exhibitors and more than fifty prizes. 10:00 a.m. Seminole Casino Coconut Creek. 5550 NW 40th St. Coconut Creek. 33073.

GWEN STEFANI

WEDNESDAY 7/27 @7:00PM Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre The ex-No Doubt lead singer has had a pretty dramatic year. Her newest album This Is What the Truth Feels Like was released in March and contains the certainly autobiographical hit song “Used to Love You.” During the early ‘00s Stefani had hits off of her Love. Angel. Music. Baby. album, including “Hollaback Girl” and “What You Waiting For?” 7:00 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.

July 21, 2016

n n n n n

HEALTHWISE

Freeze Away Fat for the Perfect Summer Body with CoolSculpting

Most of us have areas of our body where we simply cannot get rid of stubborn fat deposits. It doesn’t matter what diet or exercise we try – sometimes that double chin, muffin top, or those love handles just refuse to go away. These imperfections can be the only things standing between a person and their perfect beach body. Now there is a noninvasive procedure get rid of fat cells in these and other areas for good: CoolSculpting. The By CoolSculpting procedure Dr. Ferdinand has already helped many people get rid of stubborn Cabrera fat deposits they couldn’t eliminate any other way.

WHAT IT IS AND HOW IT WORKS CoolSculpting is not a weight loss procedure. CoolSculpting is a true fat reduction procedure, removing fat cells forever. Traditional weight loss methods do not get rid of fat cells – they only shrink them. This means these cells can always get bigger again if the person eats more than necessary. Fat reduction procedures, such as CoolSculpting, do not shrink fat cells; they kill or otherwise remove them from the body. The CoolSculpting procedure freezes targeted fat cells, killing them. Over a few weeks after the procedure the dead cells are absorbed into the body, but they are not replaced by new cells. This means that fat removed by the CoolSculpting procedure is long-term and cannot be simply gained back. As much as 25% of fat cells in the treated area can be removed for good by the

July 21, 2016

fat-freezing procedure. Due to the non-invasive nature of the procedure, a patient who undergoes CoolSculpting experiences no downtime. The procedure involves the application of a gel pad and applicator to the patient while they relax. After the procedure, the patient can leave immediately and can expect to see results in the targeted areas in the next several weeks. The possible side effects of CoolSculpting are all minor. During the procedure, a patient may feel sensations of tugging, numbness, or pinching. Once the procedure is complete, typical side effects include: temporary numbness, swelling, bruising, firmness, minor pain, tingling, and redness. In rare cases, redness may persist in the treated area for up to two weeks, but will fade without needing to be treated in any way.

WHAT COOLSCULPTING CAN DO The CoolSculpting procedure can target any problem area on any unique body. Muffin tops, double chins, pot bellies, love handles and any other problematic fat deposits can be safely reduced by the procedure. Other methods of weight loss cannot boast this level of targeting, instead attempting to reduce the entire body’s level of fat. Stubborn deposits in specific areas need targeted treatment. Unlike other weight loss programs, procedures, techniques, and diets, CoolSculpting’s results occur quickly. Other methods take

many months to produce significant results, but with this procedure results are usually seen in 3 months or less! With the CoolSculpting procedure, a patient can start now and achieve their perfect beach body this year, not next year or the one after that.

COOLSCULPTING FROM GENESIS There are several clinics that can offer patients the CoolSculpting procedure. Genesis is not only trained in the procedure, but in others that I have found assist patients with achieving complementary results. Especially beneficial to patients undergoing CoolSculpting at Genesis is their Intravenous (IV) Nutrition therapy. IV Nutrition speeds up the body’s ability to detoxify itself, a part of which is the elimination of dead cells. This means if a patient undergoes CoolSculpting, which kills fat cells, IV Nutrition therapy can speed up their metabolizing of these cells. A patient who chooses to do this will see the results from CoolSculpting much quicker than patients who choose not to undergo IV Nutrition. Anyone who is interested in using the CoolSculpting procedure to achieve their perfect beach body, or simply get rid of stubborn fat deposits, should call me for a complimentary consultation at (954) 561-3175. nn

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Wilton Manors, FL Are you one of the 100 million Americans who are suffering from chronic back pain? Is your back pain stopping you from doing the things you enjoy? Are you using pain pills regularly just to get through the day? Are you afraid this may eventually lead to surgery? If you answered yes to any of these questions, we can help. We have put together a free report filled with tips to help you avoid the most common mistakes made by back pain sufferers. Back pain is not something you have to learn to live with. There are solutions, and we can help you find them. Claim your copy of “Erasing Back Pain: How to Avoid the 9 Most

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July 21, 2016

Market Place CONTACT NATIONAL SALES DIRECTOR, MAURA “MUMBALL” LANE AT 954-543-5947 OR MAURA@WIRLD.COM TO GET ON THE LIST.

ACCOUNTING

FURNITURE

HEALTH

Sterling Tax & Accounting 2435 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-667-9829 / sterlingandhart.com

PET AND HOUSESITTING Paulette’s Pet and Housesitting Caring Professional Excellent References 954-821-9682 / paulettechernoff@aol.com

ATTORNEYS REAL ESTATE

Dean Trantalis Attorney 2255 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2226 / trantalislaw.com

Ocean Therapy Center 2530 NE 15th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-351-2299/oceantherapycenter.com

CHURCH / SPIRITUAL

INCOME TAX Best Books and Taxes 2201 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-565-1041 / bestbooksandtaxes.com

FOOD / GROCERY Diana’s 12001 Avalon Lake Drive Orlando, FL 32828 407-207-0205 / dianasbakeryandcafe.com

HEALTH

Center for Spiritual Living 1550 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2868 / cslftl.com Holy Angels Catholic Community 2917 NE 6th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33334 954-633-2987 / holyangelsﬂ.org Etz Chaim 2038 N Dixie Hwy Pride Ctr Bldg B Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-564-9232 / etzchaimﬂorida.org

EVENTS Source Events 605 Lincoln Road, #410 Miami Beach, FL 33139 305-672-9779 / sourceevents.com

FITNESS Pump’n Inc Tom Bonanti 1271 NE 9th Avenue Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-557-1119 / pumpnincgym.com 38

July 21, 2016

Robert Geary MacKilligan on Las Olas Boulevard Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-234-8759 / rgmsell@aol.com Joe Grano Realtor 1881 NE 26th Street, Suite 212 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-931-0031 / joegrano.com

INSURANCE Dunham Fort Lauderdale 2601 E Oakland Park Blvd, Suite 303 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954-564-7772 / dunhamins.com We Insure 1975 E Sunrise Blvd, Suite 602 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-903-7519 / weinsureﬂ.com

Proudly serving the LGBT community since 2002

1400 E Oakland Pk Blvd Ste 201B Oakland Park FL 33334

MASSAGE SPA 11 Lic#MA75718 2000 E Oakland Park Blvd, Suite 103 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954-945-5133 / spa11massage.com

MUSIC Sell Us Your Records! We Buy Collections. 5130 N. Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale 954-671-9482 / wegotthebeats.biz

OPTICAL

Island City Eyecare 2301 Wilton Drive, Suite C1 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-764-6906 / visionsource-ice.com

ORGANIZATIONS

The Pride Center 2040 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-463-9005 / pridecenterﬂorida.com Out of the Closet 2097 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-358-5580 / outofthecloset.org

WOLFE REAL ESTATE GROUP

Directly Across from LIPS Call us today!

954. 839. 8330

WolfeRealEstateGroup.com

UPHOLSTERY

WWW.LEATHERWERKS.COM

LEATHER

AND SO MUCH MORE!

July 21, 2016

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N.T.S. N.T.S.

Oral representations cannot be relied upon as correctly stating the representations of the developer, for correct representations, make reference to this brochure and to the documents required by section 718.503, Florida statutes, to be furnished by a developer to a buyer or lessee. Obtain the property report required by federal law and read it before signing anything. No federal agency has judged the merits of value, if any, of this property.

July 21, 2016

KOIPOMPANOBEACH.COM Developed by

SALES: 954-547-8700 Exclusive Sales & Marketing by