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50 Snapshot 10 Bar Guide ut O 52 Guy Bytes 16 Guys Night de ui G rs 56 Guy Travel 28 Happy Hou s 60 Spotlight 32 Guilty Pleasure e en Sc 62 Guy Fitness 34 The 68 Love Jones 40 Adam & Ease g in 44 Guy Din Bobby Blair Publisher Cliff Dunn Editor Jason Otero Creative Director Editorial Contributors Duncan St. Thibault, Tom Bonanti, Andy Kress, Adam Strong, Robert Elias Deaton, Dale Madison, Richard David Chamberlain Production Dennis Dean Editorial Photographer Stephen Kuttner Photographer Alexander Maxwell Photographer Administrative Silas Thebert Sales & Marketing Keith Chamlee Sales Manager keithchamlee@guymag.net - 954-465-1563 Dale Madison Client Services Executive dalemadison1@aol.com - 954-478-2415 Marvin Nathan Client Services Executive marvinnathan@guymag.net - 954-380-8563 Michael Beloin Client Services Executive michaelbeloin@guymag.net - 407-283-3619 National Sales Rivendell Media National Ad Representatives 212-242-6863 Display Ads Placement Ad Deadline: Thursday, Noon Camera Ready Artwork Deadline: Friday, Noon Display Advertising sales@guymag.net - 954-380-8563 Classifieds Ads Text Ad Deadline: Thursday, 5 p.m. Placement Ad Deadline: Thursday, 5 p.m. Camera Ready Artwork Deadline: Friday, Noon Main Office 2435 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone 954-380-8563 Fax 984-380-8567 editor@guymag.net

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7/24/12

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bar guide ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oGayborhood tradition since 1997. Comfortable, inviting atmosphere with indoor video bars, outdoor drinking and dining. Drink specials all week, with mammoth 22-ounce Long Island Iced Teas for $3 on Thursdays. BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oVideos, pool tables, dart boards, dance floor, happy hour, live shows, Tuesday and Thursday karaoke – and great burgers to boot. Fun and friendly truck-stop-themed bar, great staff. BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oOver 100 of the sexiest men from all over the world. Go-go dancers, cages, billiards, 2-4-1 Happy Hours. Drag em- cees and did we mention the boys? BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oThe bar with two names features a dance club and Gayborhood bar. Drag Bingo on

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Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Mondays, karaoke Mondays and Tuesdays, dance music Fridays and Saturdays, and (indoor) Sunday T-Dance. CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave Wilton Manors oFriendly atmosphere, unpretentious clientele and staff. Next to Island City Pizza (so you can get your drink AND your slice on). CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oButch bar and grill with a rockin’ daytime crowd (and a fun nighttime one, too). Fifty-cent pool, 2-for-1 drinks all day every day, video games, hot movies on HDTV and DirecTV. Thursdays it’s Bare Bear Chest Night, and every Friday and Saturday, the fur flies with Hot Bears on Poles (where the Grizzlies Grind)! DEPOT CABANA BAR AND GRILL 2935 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oAdjacent to the America’s Best Inn and Suites. Pool open daily - No Cover or Day Pass. Great food, daily happy hour, Sunday afternoon T-Dance Poolside. Karaoke and live music. Open daily at 11:30 a.m.

DUDES 3270 NE 33rd St Fort Lauderdale oMen dancing for men. Hot go-go boys in an upscale atmosphere, piano lounge for more quiet interludes. Steamy shower shows. JOHNNY’S 1116 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oClub, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Sunday amateur strip contest (and karaoke!). LIPS 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd Oakland Park oThe Ultimate in Drag Dining. Dinner and shows six nights a week. Sunday Gospel Brunch with the Sisters of Sequins. THE MANOR 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWeHo vibe (think: LA’s The Abbey) in the heart of the Gayborhood. Dine, drink, dance, play, mingle. Theme rooms (salsa and merengue every weekend in the Latin Quarter!). Live dancing and dining.

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bar guide MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oDrink specials, billiards, and a chill gayborhood vibe. 75 cent drinks on Wednesdays. No Drama, No Smoking. MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar. Karaoke, drags shows, Patio Bar and open at 9 a.m. daily. MONA’S 502 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCocktail Lounge in the heart of Searstown. Fun customers, fun bartenders and fun proprietor (the Legendary Jerry). Outside patio. Wednesday karaoke, Thursday Speedball Tournament. NAKED GRAPE 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oRelaxing, friendly, hip, unique. The alternative gathering place on Wilton Dr. Now serving tapas nightly. Social Hour features $5 house wine glasses, $1 Barcelona Bites, and In The Biz all the time. RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave Fort Lauderdale oVoted World’s Favorite Leather Bar. Pig Dance first Saturday of the month – South Florida’s

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Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Busiest, Craziest Monthly Party (with caged hunks at midnight on Saturdays – Is there a downside to this?).

Monday In the Biz, Thursday Leather Nights. They bring the party (and the mattresses), you bring the booze.

ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oNexus of the A-Gay List. Be Seen in the Scene (without making one). Food, folks, libations, and a killer Sunday Funday.

SMARTY PANTS 2400 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar with daily happy hour, and regular patrons. Show night Thursdays at 9 p.m. Karaoke Friday and Saturday nights, with matinee on Sunday afternoon.

SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors oA line-dancin’, tight blue jeans-wearin’ good time. Country and western music, two-steppin’, three-steppin’, pool tables, and themed events year ‘round. Cowboys and Indians was never this much fun, Pilgrim. SIDELINES 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWhere sports come first. Nationally known destination sports bar with TVs streaming NFL, MLB, NBA and college games. Pool tables, dart boards and large indoor (and now smoke-free) facility. Outdoor patio features area for smokers. Mixed crowd of gay men and women (who would have thought?). Featured in Bloomberg Businessweek and recommended by LOGO. SLAMMER 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oPrivate Men’s Club. Pay cover, then uncover.

THE STABLE 205 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oLevis-and-leather neighborhood bar, where the bears line dance and the cowboys are VERY friendly. TORPEDO 2829 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oDance, shoot pool, drink til 4 a.m., 7 nights a week. Doors open at midnight; dance til dawn. WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o German cuisine meets Der Gayborhood, in a fun, relaxed atmosphere. Upstairs dining, downstairs outdoor patio and bar, DJ music, and a fun staff make one of Wilton Manors’ newest venues a good time to be had by all.

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bar guide CLUB SUGAR 2301 SW 32nd Ave Miami oGay Latin scene, with Salsa, Merengue, Reggaeton, Hip Hop and House music always playing. DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave Miami oHot music, hot scene, hot bartenders, and hot patrons in the hot heart of Downtown Miami. JOHNNY’S MIAMI 63 NE 14th Street Downtown Miami oThe second location of the infamous Club, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Multiple weekly events including Latin Thursdays and Drag Queen Mondays and no cover. MOVA LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave Miami Beach oOn Miami Beach’s famed Lincoln Road, never

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Miami / Miami Beach

a cover. Drink specials all week long, live DJs, high energy music and a fun crowd getting their dance on til late. PALACE BAR 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach oThis bar and restaurant in the heart of South Beach’s Art Deco District. Mouth- watering burgers, boys (and girls!). Weekend cabaret shows Thursday through Sunday. SCORE 727 Lincoln Rd Miami Beach oDance, drink, party all night on Miami Beach’s Lincoln Road. Tons of events throughout the year, including fundraisers for Winter Party, White Party, and Miami Beach Gay Pride. SPACE 34 NE 11th St Miami oMingle and mix with gays and str8s in the heart of Downtown Miami. Indoor dance floors and outdoor rooftop bar, spectacular light show.

SWINGING RICHARDS 17450 Biscayne Blvd N Miami oThe only gay strip club in Southern Florida to offer FULLY NUDE dancers. Smokin’ hot dancers all week long. TWIST 1057 Washington Ave Miami Beach oGreat music, friendly staff, hot tourists and locals. Never a cover, always a groove. Bungalow Bar = Hot Men. In SoBe’s Art Deco District. VLADA LOUNGE 3215 NE 2nd Ave Miami oUrban, sophisticated and chic in Midtown Miami with a bar that ices over. New York pedigree meets Miami attitude. Nightly DJs, never a cover.

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Jonathan and Erik staying Luau cool

Men’s “Day” Out @ Bootleggers Saturday July 14, 2012

Leor is at the party in support of his friend Michael P. and in a Luau spirit

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Rick is ready for a Luau anyday of the week

David and Dan cHAtting by the pool

Julian and Michael are the angels of the party

John, manager at Bootleggers, HAS A BLAST AT THE LUAU

Chris, Richard, John straddle barstools in the pool

Alexey STOPS TO SHOW US his purple Lei

Taffy and Coby WERE OUTSTANDING SERVERS TODAY guymag.net

4th of July Tea Cruise Aboard the Musette Yacht

guys night OUT

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Johnnyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fort Lauderdale

guys night OUT

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Sunday Gospel Brunch @ Lips

guys night OUT

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Christmas in July @ Monkey Business

guys night OUT

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happy hours Bill’s Filling Station 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour half-off drink prices from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Friday, with an additional halfprice “Bear Necessities” Happy Hour on Friday nights from Midnight to close. Boardwalk 1721 N Andrews Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily, with 2-4-1 mixed drinks and brew. Boom 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Half-priced drink Happy Hours Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Fridays and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., as well as $7 premium martinis all day long. Corner Pub 1915 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Seven-day Happy Hour from 11 a.m. til 9:30 p.m., with $1.75 domestic drafts, $2.50 domestic bottles, $2.75 imports, $2.50 well drinks, $2.75 calls, $3 premiums, and $4.75 Jaeger shots. Cubby Hole 823 N Federal Hwy. Fort Lauderdale) o Happy Hour with 2-4-1 drinks all day every day. The Depot Cabana Bar and Grill (2935 N Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale): Happy Hour features halfprice drinks, Monday through Friday from 11:30 a.m. til 8 p.m. Dudes on the Beach 3270 NE 33rd St. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour features a seven day a week 2-4-1 special from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. Georgie’s Alibi 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Friday.

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Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Johnny’s Club, Bar, and Lounge 1116 W Broward Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour runs seven days, Monday through Thursday from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Sundays from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., with varying drink specials depending the day, and discounted drinks starting at $4. The Manor Restaurant and Nightclub 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Wednesday through Friday from open ‘til 9 p.m., 2-4-1 drinks and $5 tapas. Matty’s on the Drive 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Saturday from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and a drink chip that’s good through 10 p.m.! Mona’s Cocktail Lounge (next to Lisa’s Backyard) 502 E Sunrise Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour is celebrated seven days a week from noon till 9 p.m., with $2.50 domestic beers and well drinks, and $1.25 drafts. Monkey Business 2740 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs through 9 p.m., seven days, with drinks specials that average about $1-$1.50 off per mixed drink or brew. Naked Grape Wine Bar 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o “Social Hour” from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., with $5 glasses of house wine, and $1 Barcelona Bites. On Thursdays, buy one flat bread or panini, get one 1/2 price.

happy hours Pinché Taqueria 2045 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o A NYC-by-way-of-Tijuana-transplant, offering great outdoor atmosphere and a daily 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Happy Hour with $4 well drinks, $5 Pinché margaritas, and $20 margarita pitchers, as well as half-priced appetizers from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. PJ’s Corner Pocket 924 N Flagler Drive Fort Lauderdale o Monday through Friday Happy Hour with $1 off every drink, as well as an everyday five 7 oz. Bud Lights for $5 special. Ramrod 1508 NE 4th Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Fort Lauderdale’s oldest gay bar under the same ownership, a leather, Levis, and uniform bar with hot men and a 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily 2-4-1 Happy Hour (weekends included!). Rodeo Restaurant and Bar 2033 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Select Happy Hour specials menu: 50% off bottles of wine, Tuesdays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.; half-price martinis on Wednesdays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., and Thursday Ladies Nights, with half-price well drinks, beer, and wine glasses. Rosie’s Bar & Grill 2249 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Mondays through Fridays from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. with half-priced premium well, beer, and house wines and $1 off all other cocktails (excluding premium wines).

Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Sidelines Sports Bar 2031-A Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs daily—for the first time!—from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m. with half-price drinks (the other popular Gayborhood-variation on the split-level-drink-price), followed by a back-half Happy Hour from Midnight-toclose, also with (according to their Web site) half-price libations. Smarty Pants 3038 N Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour seven days a week, starting at 9 a.m. and continuing through 8 p.m., with daily specials and discounts off their low drink prices. The Stable Country Western Bar 205 E Oakland Park Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour Monday through Thursday 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Friday through Sunday, noon through 9 p.m., with at least $1 off their regular prices on libations.

Tropics 2000 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour starts at 4 p.m. and runs through 9 p.m., Monday through Friday. Drinks are two-for-theprice-of-one (hereinafter, 2-4-1). Wilton’s Bier Garden 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour including 2-4-1 domestic draft beer, 2-4-1 well drinks, and 2-4-1 Coastal Vines house wine selections.

Scandals Saloon 3073 NE 6th Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour at the main bar that runs Monday through Saturday from noon to 9 p.m., with $1-to-$2 drink special discounts, depending on what beverages you’re enjoying. All-day Happy Hour on Sundays.

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Thursday Night @ Sidelines

guys night OUT

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happy hours Johnny’s Miami 62 NE 14th St. Miami o $5 drinks all night, Wednesday through Sundays. Palace Bar & Grill 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach o Friday Happy Hour from 5-9 p.m. Magnum Lounge 709 NE 79th St. Miami Happy Hour 5 p.m.-8 p.m. with $4 margaritas and drink specials every night of the week. Twist 1057 Washington Ave. Miami Beach o Happy Hour 2-for-1 drink specials Friday through Wednesday, 1 p.m.-9 p.m. and all day Thursday. Eat and be merry with a free barbeque on Fridays and Sundays, 6 p.m.-8 p.m.

Miami / Miami Beach

MOVA Lounge 1625 Michigan Ave. Miami Beach o Thursdays $4 Miller Lites and $6 Finlandia Vodka. Friday Happy Hour runs 6 p.m.-9 p.m. with half-priced cocktails. Discotekka 950 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Sunday nights with “Drag’s a Bitch” and $3 Bud Lights and $5 well drinks. Vlada Lounge 3215 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Daily Happy Hour two-for-one specials, 4 p.m.-8 p.m.

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By DALE MADISON

~JULY BARTENDER OF THE MONTH~

Russ Matheney

Slinging Shots with a Social Conscience

sk many people, and they will tell you—often in a whisper—that Russell (“Russ”) Matheney of Scandals Saloon is a man who conjures up either laughter—or fear! At the tender age of 18, Russ started in 1994 working as a bar back at Ramrod, under the bar’s original owner, George Csabon. After a few years of learning the ropes (pun intended), he started bartending in 1998.

“I will never forget that first night,” Matheney recalls. “I was at the main bar, and this driver lost control of his car—and came through the front of the building. [Owners] Steve and Zack were in Chicago for the International Men of Leather competition, and I was shaking in my boots,” he adds, with a hearty laugh. Matheney’s job wasn’t in jeopardy, and he began to build upon his responsibilities, both within the club and the greater LGBT community. “I sort of transitioned into becoming an emcee one night with the ‘Battle of the Bulge,’” he explains. That experience led to Matheney’s involvement with service organizations, and other LGBT community outreach. “As a loud mouth, I can get on a stage and help bring in money.” His work with Tuesday’s Angels, and helping to raise money for other worthwhile efforts— including raising money two years ago to purchase a car for Father Bill of the Poverello Food Bank. “That’s what I love to do,” Matheney emphasizes. “I wish I had the money to just write a check, but I am such a ham— and I adore being on the stage—that it’s a perfect fit for me.” “I emceed the bartender underwear auction, ‘Boxers and Briefs,’” he continues, before interrupting himself. “By the way, what do you wear?” Matheney asks. “Depends,” I answer, before he continues—“In

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addition, Toni Barone and I always host the benefit at Mona’s for the Pet Project. This year we raised more money than ever before.” Although he doesn’t have exact numbers yet for that event, Matheney has a reliable meter for the benefit’s take. “Jerry—the owner of Mona’s—had a huge smile on his face, and we will have a presenting ceremony soon.” Adding to his list of partner organizations, “I emceed for the American Heart Association, which frankly was one of the most fun events that I have ever hosted. Those people—mostly straight—were just so amazing and accepting.” Matheney insists that he has no plans to leave behind his bartending roots. “Even with all the things that I do, being at the bar and serving our customers is what I still adore. The last three years, working with Ken Kelly and Lloyd Pagels of Scandals and the Stable has been totally amazing,” he gushes. “I look at Pooch, who has worked in this market for so many years, and I hope that I can have that sort of longevity.” Russ’s drink of choice for July is the classic Mind Eraser. Ingredients: Equal parts Kahlua, vodka (he prefers Grey Goose), and Chambord, topped with club soda. (“Then, close your eyes,” he advises). To be featured as GUY Bartender of the Month, contact me at dalemadison@guymag.net. Cheers!

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the SCENE

By MICK SANDOVAL

Summer Slams

Tracks that are Heating Up Dance Floors

f there’s a place this summer that’s hotter than South Florida’s beaches, it’s our dance floors. This summer’s big trend isn’t tribal or house, nor is it rock or electro. For 2012, the sound of the season is everything mashed into one—with new tracks of tribal, house, rock, and even freestyle getting equal spin time on floors. Here’s a selection of the blazing new remix jams you should be slamming to:

Undercover: “Your Lovin’ Touch” Dark Disco Mix

oe Thompson and Greg Scarnici embrace the soul and conviction of NYC’s 80’s freestyle in this hauntingly-sensual nu-disco track. It’s as if Information Society’s “I Want To Know (Pure Energy)” was combined with the street flavor of Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, with a pinch of Madonna’s “Erotica” added in. Scarnici’s seductive vocals, coupled with the track’s throbbing drum-n-bass, lures listeners into the duo’s lair of bondage and vogue dancers. It’s the perfect track to groove to when you want to bring home the spirit of Black Party.

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Mika Newton: “Don’t Dumb Me Down” Monikkr Club Mix

he original version of this song about notjudging-a-book-by-its-cover is an Avril Lavigne-esque rock ballad. However, when combined with Monikkr’s exuberant beats, the track explodes into a sure-fire club anthem. There are occasional moments of melancholy, but the bursts of pounding percussion—along with Newton’s brassy vocals and well-timed drops—work to make a high-powered rockdance track that – dare we say it? – tops anything Adam Lambert has out.

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Killian Wells: “It’s Like That” 8 Bars Remix

Sasha Gradiva: “I’m on Fire”

ince Gradiva debuted “I’m On Fire” at Matinee in New York, the track has literally spread like wild fire, lighting up dance floors across the U.S. It’s often likened to Ke$ha’s “Blow” in that it, too, is highly danceable and catchy, with an unmistakable hook. But where “Blow” fades with repetition, “I’m on Fire” builds upon it, eventually propelling you

he remix for Killian Wells’ gushy falling-inlove track is packed with aggressive house beats, playful melodies, and a colorfully high-powered hook. The single recalls the California beach sound of “Summer Girls” by LFO, but with a modern synth Ke$ha vibe. Even the lyrics speak to today’s kids, with references to iPhones, stalkers, and shorties. It’s a frantically fun track that will inspire clubbers to swap sweat—and maybe a little spit—on the dance floor.

into a climax of cosmic dance floor splendor. This is a safe bet for keeping the party going on autopilot, and club DJs frequently call it a reliable track to play when they want the room to erupt in excitement.

Kristina Korban: “This is Your Night” Klubjumpers Remix

ristina Korban’s love note to Amber’s 1996 dance classic is everything that clubbers would expect it to be: euphoric, lush, hard-pounding, and exhilarating. Korban’s exuberant vocals blend effortlessly with Klubjumper’s hard thumping beats, reigniting this club anthem into a contemporary dance floor staple. Korban’s love for dance music shines in this record, and will surely inspire others to hear the beauty in the beat.

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Emii: “Stilettos”

Monikkr Remix

his ode to six-inch heels first hit the clubs during the spring, when DJ Tony Moran presented his celebrated mix. It was immediately heralded as a superior-crafted, brilliantly-executed, expertly-produced and vibrantly-fun track from the Pop Princess who reigned supreme last summer, with her Snoop collaboration, Dogg “Mr. Romeo.” Now, Monikkr presents his interpretation of “Stilettos,” pushing the beat even further to the forefront with an edgy, stylistic, electro-pop sound that is perfectly suited for an after-hours dance floor. Continued on Page 38

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making a SCENE The League of Geriatric Super-Queens?

rtist Kevin Bapp has re-imagined the 1970s cartoon “Super Friends” as spinster roommates in a hilarious take on Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia from TV’s “Golden Girls.” The clip (which can be seen at kevinbapp.com) features fiftysomething versions of the Man of Steel, Aquaman, and the Dynamic Duo performing the classic 80s sitcom’s opening sequence. Babb says he would love to pitch the idea to Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. Wonder Twin powers—activate!

Ocean’s Voyage

&B performer Frank Ocean, part of L.A. alternative hip-hop collective Odd Future, blogged “out” on July 3. The singer—who has also penned songs for Justin Bieber, John Legend, and Beyoncé—wrote: “4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost… Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping.” Sounds a little like prison.

This Family is The Pitts

magine what it must feel like to be Angelina Jolie? Last week, La Jolie’s monster-in-law, Jane Pitt—mother of Brad—penned an anti-Obama screed, in which she cited gay rights—among other things—as cause for her supporting Mitt Romney. The response for the blog-GAY-sphere has been swift—and merciless. Tweeted @IBleedGaga: “BRAD PITT’S MOM WROTE AN ANTI-GAY PROROMNEY EDITORIAL. KILL THE B***H.” Added another: “Brad Pitt’s mom is a dumb c***.” What I wouldn’t give for an invitation to THAT Thanksgiving family dinner.

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Adam & Ease By ADAM STRONG

Liberté, égalité, fraternité, gastronomy! To: Editor, GUY Magazine C.D.: I BIFFED! I forgot that Bastille Day was LAST weekend. I have some cool ideas, but am embarrassed about my blonde moment. Help? Adam Adam: No worries. People love French cuisine—and hate the French— all year long. C.D.

astille Day is the American name for France’s National Day, celebrated each year on the 14th of July. Formally known as La Fête Nationale (“The National Celebration”)—and more commonly as le quatorze juillet (“the fourteenth of July”)—it commemorates the anniversary of the storming of the Bastille fortress-prison in Paris on July 14, 1789, which is seen as a symbol of the modern French nation’s rise as a Republic against its monarchy. France’s Fête de la Fédération was held in 1790, on the first anniversary of the storming of the Bastille. It was an enormous and, in many parts of France, improvised celebration meant to promote reconciliation, unity, and liberty, with the establishment of a new constitutional monarchy. (Sadly, this unity last all of about five minutes, and ended in the Red Terror, which resulted in the deaths of thousands of innocents, and the eventual establishment of the modern French Republic—after several more tries at monarchy, empire, and a uniquelyFrench brand of 19th Century “Soviet”-style communism. Ah, well: c’est les français.) Your own Bastille Day dinner doesn’t have to be so spontaneous—or bloody. French cuisine isn’t as difficult as, say, the French themselves. In some ways like “guerilla cooking,” recipes are often adaptable to items and seasoning you already have in your kitchen.

So, THAT’S How You Spell It!

ors d’oeuvres (French meaning “outside [of] work,” or something other than the main dish— cute, non?), or appetizers, are a great way to learn to prepare French cuisine. As recipes, they are fairly forgiving, and easily adapted to ingredients you enjoy.

What Did You Just Call Me?

rudités are traditional French appetizers. The word—meaning uncooked food, or in this case, vegetables—shares its origins with the English word “crude,” which comes from the Latin “crūdus,” for raw. Crudités include celery and carrot sticks, bell pepper strips, broccoli, cauliflower, and asparagus. Our version soaks in store-bought dressing overnight, and its sheer simplicity reflects French cuisine in general: Start with a simple ingredient, and make it taste c’est magnifique!

Crudités Ingredients

• 2 cups of carrots, cut into thin sticks • 2 cups of red bell peppers, cut into strips • 2 cups of petite asparagus spears • 2 cups of celery, cut into thin sticks • 1 ½ cups of Vinaigrette dressing Wash and cut vegetables. Put the carrots, peppers, asparagus spears, and celery each into their own separate bowl. Toss each vegetable with ½ cup of dressing, cover, and chill for about eight hours. Drain the remaining dressing, and arrange the marinated vegetables on a platter. Serve cold. Makes about eight servings. Continued on Page 42

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Garlic Soup Ingredients

MEULES DE FROMAGE (“Cheese rounds”) This delicious appetizer—packing some kick from the cayenne pepper—tastes très parfait served with crudités and a glass of wine.

Mueles de Fromage Ingredients • 2 cups of Cantal or sharp cheddar cheese, shredded • ½ cup of butter • 1 ½ cups of all-purpose flour • ½ teaspoon of salt • ¼ teaspoon of dry mustard • 1/8 to ¼ teaspoon of cayenne pepper In a mixer, beat all the ingredients together, until a dough ball forms. (The dough will appear “shaggy.”) Place the dough onto a clean, floured work surface, and roll it into a 15-inch long log, approximately 1 ½ inches in diameter. Wrap the log in plastic wrap, and freeze for about one hour. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Unwrap the chilled dough, and slice it into very thin “coins” (about 1/8-inch in thickness). Arrange the rounds in a single layer, placed slightly apart, on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake for approximately 15 minutes, until the cheese rounds begin to brown at the edges. Cool slightly before serving. Makes about 12 servings.

IS IT SOUP YET? Getting a handle—so to speak—on French soup recipes is a terrific way to learn about the special blends of seasoning used by French chefs (just ask Jean Doherty at Le Patio).

• 3 tablespoons of olive oil • 1 head of garlic, with each clove peeled and sliced • 8 slices of baguette (French bread) • 4 cups of chicken stock • ½ teaspoon of dried thyme Over low heat sauté the garlic in oil in a medium saucepan until tender, approximately 10 minutes. Transfer garlic onto a plate. Place the baguette slices into the hot oil, and sauté both sides until golden brown. Place two pieces of toast into each soup bowl. Add garlic, chicken stock, and thyme back to the saucepan, and bring to a simmer for about five minutes. Ladle soup over the garlic toasts, and serve immediately. Makes four servings.

Vive le Quiche! This traditional French recipe hails from the mountainous region of Lorraine, in northern France. Enough for a meal by itself, the delicious egg-based pie that is Quiche Lorraine has evolved through the years from a humble custard-and-bacon pie, to the rich cheese, bacon, and egg extravaganza that is so well-loved today.

Quiche Ingredients • 1 layer pastry dough • 4 slices of bacon, crumbled • 4 eggs • 1 cup of half and half • ¼ teaspoon of salt • 1/8 teaspoon of white pepper • 1/8 teaspoon of freshly-grated nutmeg • 1 cup of Gruyere cheese, shredded Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Fit pastry into a deepdish pie pan. Sprinkle bacon onto the bottom layer of the pastry. Beat together the eggs, half and half, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Pour egg mixture over the bacon, and sprinkle it with the shredded cheese. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, until eggs are set in the middle. Cool slightly and serve. Makes about eight servings. Bon appétit, et Vive la République!

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Guy Dining By RICHARD DAVID CHAMBERLAIN

Key West Comes to Fort Lauderdale

Green Fish Waterfront Bar & Grill

at the texture and sweet resound of the meal. True, the fries were soggy and were sent back to the kitchen, but the replacement rice was absolutely a winner. Even though the here are certain things you can count on when slaw tasted like it was scooped from a Walmart vat, and the ordering fish in Key West. First, it will be fresh. corn muffin was something you might defrost from Sara Second, it will be moist and flaky, and probably Lee, the point here remains the same. It was an amazingly dusted with coconut, or some Jamaican conch seasoning well-prepared fish dish that deserves a return engagement. strong enough to set your mouth ablaze. And third, it will Ditto the Grilled Mahi Mahi. At $12.99, it’s a bargain in be accompanied by many, many tropical drinks that will slur portion size and a taste bud delight for the unexpecting your vision, right along with your diner. Once again, order it with vocabulary. rice, forget the corn muffin and At Green Fish, the newest slaw, and realize that you’ve found incarnation of the intimate a new secret spot in town. A-frame bar and grill at 2528 This particular building seems North Federal Highway, just south to change concepts with each of Northeast 26th Street, the passing season. We remember Juicy Grilled Tilapia Filet when it was a place called Shucks owners promise that Key West experience. (It says so right on a on the Water, which became a sign out front.) What they, in fact, deliver is something else place called Boo Riley’s, which then became a place called entirely. Which is definitely not a bad thing. Chowderheads. And now Green Fish. Hopefully, you won’t As you would expect, the mainstay at a grill called Green be put off by the small front patio that borders on Federal Fish is fish. In this case, the selection is limited to tilapia, Highway. or the dark inside bar that has just enough light salmon, mahi mahi, and shrimp. Any or all of the above are to not see the spots on the glasses. Push immediately past prepared grilled, fried, or blackened (shrimp is only served that and out onto the small dock-space that borders the fried). Most of the inside of the restaurant Middle River canal. is occupied by a large bar, suggesting a It’s not fine dining to be Fried Conch Fritters local hang-out type of place. And while sure, but it is an incredible and it’s a full bar, it’s not a complete bar. No quiet spot to discover with mojitos, margaritas, pina coladas, or someone special. Get past the any other drink that requires a blender, PVC furniture and the plastic for, according to our server, Elise, the basket holding the entrees, and bartender doesn’t have one. But there prepare yourself for a fun, tasty certainly is an adequate assortment of meal by the water. Feel free to beers, ales, and liquors that will swamp order the Fried Conch Fritters the rat with ease. ($7.99) or the Jerk Buffalo Wings (10 for $8.99). They won’t The real surprise here is not that Green Fish serves a disappoint. And remember to say Guy Magazine sent you. menu typical of many bars, but that its fish is fresh and as excellent as any we’ve tried in flavor and seasoning. The GREEN FISH Grilled Tilapia Fish Fillet ($10.99) is offered Caribbean-style, 2528 N Federal Hwy a perfect fire zip and a mild fish flavor. The dish comes Fort Lauderdale FL 33305 with fries or Cajun rice, an order of cole slaw and a corn 954-563-9393 muffin. We ordered this dish blackened, and were amazed

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Matty’s

Opens Showroom, with Star

Marvin Nathan By DALE MADISON

MATT AUSLANDER

att Auslander—the impresario behind Matty’s on the Drive, and its seemingly unending growth on the north end of Wilton Drive—is at it again, reinventing his popular bar and deli into a show palace. The new venue will showcase the incredible talents of legendary entertainer Marvin Nathan. Beginning Thursday, July 26, the deli section of the club will be officially christened the “Buca Room,” which will accommodate Nathan, whose one-man-as-one-woman-show—featuring special guest stars—will incorporate the entire space. The bar will open at 6 p.m., with dinner service beginning at 7 p.m., and the show beginning promptly at 8 p.m. (Marvin is a stickler for that sort of thing.) The show and dinner are a packaged deal that will cost about $17. As for the dinner, it’s a three-course meal, which will include an app of Shrimp Alfredo, and an entrée option of steak or chicken, mixed vegetables, and garlic smashed potatoes—served to the accompaniment of linens, silver, and china, as is befitting the Queen of the Drive.

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It’s highly doubtful you could have missed Marvin Nathan, since he swept back into the Gayborhood six months ago, in a regal return to our beach-burg. Marvin wanted to place his sequined pumps on some fat pillow by the ocean and relax for a change, after having completed years-long runs at “La Cage,” and guest appearances at “Divas,” in Las Vegas and points beyond, plus multiple guest appearances on the CBS series “The Nanny”—as Queen Size Cher (a.k.a., Cousin Ira)—and many other television shows. Sometimes, however, one’s reputation simply won’t allow for complete retirement, try as one might, and little by little, La Nathan has put her double-wide trailer of show gowns back into use, as the female impersonator who mixes talent with humor—and a poke in the eye, if you’re too close to the stage. “My good friend, Dale Madison [aw, shucks], who has known Matt for a long time—and who was the very first customer at Matty’s when they opened four years ago—suggested the change to him,” Nathan explains. “Of course, Dale never met a bar he didn’t like,” he jokes. Matty’s has reconstructed the stage, and added draperies to its new Buca Room. “Matt has done an amazing job, and Chef Chris has also really stepped up to the challenge of creating a menu for this once-a-week show,” notes the performer. “Chef Chris is already planning ahead. He’s also the one who has been in charge of orchestrating the very successful monthly Multimedia Platforms Business Network Luncheon, which Matty’s is also hosting for the next three months,” says Nathan. The entertainer says he wants to bring the fun back to weeknights on the Drive. “Laughter is the best medicine, so I want to do a lot of comedy—and to terrorize the crowd,” he quips. “I also want to showcase new talent in town, to help them build their own professional careers. That’s what mentors do.” In addition to the regular show, “We will be highlighting special events like birthdays, anniversaries, divorces— and, of course, the occasional circumcision,” Nathan adds with a laugh. “It’s all about having fun, and in this economy, the price is right.” Matty’s on the Drive is located at 2426 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors. Call (954) 564-1799 for reservations, or visit mattysonthedrive.com.

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Guy Bytes By DUNCAN ST. THIBAULT

Every Boy’s Crazy ’Bout a SharpDressed Man

have a longstanding joke with my partner, Proculus, that he can find a how-to video or app for just about any requirement—not excluding brain surgery (which I think may actually come in handy someday—so you tell me who has bigger problems). The beauty of this modern age is that there exists an app to help ease many of the daily “chores” of being a guy. Today, apps run the gamut of men’s grooming and style, from haircuts to the color of your socks. HAIRSTYLE SALON for iOS, lets you upload an image of yourself—either one already stored in the device, or one you snap then and there—and, by choosing from among dozens of pre-made hairstyle options, spits out an image of the New You in Your New ’Doo. The app permits you to vary length and color, and throws in a few bizarro hirsute options, as well as beard choices. You can also share your coiffurific concoction on Facebook—your boss would love to know what you were working on, hunched over your postage meter after lunch yesterday. It includes women’s hairstyles, too—so you and your Sapphic Bestie can ooh and aah about your faux-doos over martinis at Rosie’s. Flip Your Lid: FREE (you can also add more styles as in-app purchases for a few bucks extra). MEN’S HAIRSTYLES offers similar functions, but with greater control of detail—some might say “finesse”—and close to 250 hairstyle choices for an initial cost.

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Everything I know about personal style and fashion, I learned from my first lover, Prince Lobkowitz, who took me in hand during my salad days, when I was young and innocent (you can stop laughing). One doesn’t need to attend the Dowager Countess of Portland’s tea to appreciate which color tie best brings out the rosiness in your cheeks, but there are loads of apps to help you dress. Some of these are tarted-up marketing tools for specific brands, directing you to their clothing lines. COOL GUY, for iOS and Google Play Android, enables you to visualize various outfit selections, based upon images you store of the clothes in your wardrobe, so you can pair up various shirts, pants, jackets, etc., etc. If you need a “lifeline” and friendly advice about your choices—before, for instance, you hit Matty’s on Saturday night decked out in a limegreen blazer and chartreuse emo-jeans—you can share your fashion selections with friends, for their input (or derision). Other features include suggestions about packing for travel, style and fashion tips and news, and a Fashion Mall (through Shopstyle.com). Cool is the Rule: FREE. Tie Mentor Like the designer says, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” With handy images that take you through tying a necktie step-by-step, you’ll be ready to Windsor-knot your way through Uncle Steve and Aunt Tim’s Big Gay Wedding.

Continued on Page 54

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Continued from Page 52

Department of

Phone-Land Security

oo many headlines have reflected the all-too-thin security on many smartphones. More than likely, your iPhone or Android is your single most personal piece of hardware (get your mind out of the gutter, Harriet). Smartphones retain billions of personal data files for people all over the world. If someone nicks your iPhone, you are wide-open to a data thief, who now has access to your most personal data—not to mention those embarrassing photos from your lap dance at Johnny’s (in which YOU gave the lap dance). This is an easy fix. Add a password to secure your smartphone to prevent easy access to your data, and enable the device’s remote wipe function, so that—“Mission: Impossible”like—you can remotely destroy sensitive data. Another way to smarten-up your iOS smartphone is to schedule a regular monthly privacy audit, so that your phone isn’t as susceptible to tracking software. Open the “Settings” app, and tap “Location Service,” which will enable or disable app access to your iPhone. On the Android, check to see that your device doesn’t have “Carrier IQ” enabled. Without your knowledge, this program can track and report a tremendous amount of data. The “Privacy Blocker” app will perform a privacy audit, checking the apps on your Android, and providing an overview of the data that’s been collected. Delete apps that are overreaching. This advice will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Yo.

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Guy Travel

By ROBERT ELIAS DEATON

Colorado State Capitol Building

here is one thing you can’t miss when you visit Denver. The great outdoors beckons not only you, but every other person in the town. Runners abound; bikers cruise by; hikers have their backpacks ready to climb; and all invited by air as crisp as the first bite of an apple. Denver is the capital of Colorado and a quick way to orientate yourself in the city is to go to Colorado State Capitol Building (200 East Colfax Avenue; 303-866-2604). Climb to the Rotunda and glimpse a view of the 200 mountains visible from the dome. You’ll also get a visual on the layout of the city, which will help you when you take to the streets—and, yes, some alleys. Biking around town is made easy with the 850 miles of paved off-road trails. The city has a great system of B-Cycles that allows you to rent a bike in one location and leave it on the street at any of the more than 50 drop stations. For more information on B-Cycles in Denver visit denver.org/what-to-do/sports-recreation/ denver-b-cycle-rides. While we’re the first to admit that the concept of bus tour leaves us cold and shivering, don’t let that stop you from booking aboard Banjo Billy’s Bus Tours. The “bus” is more like a rolling hillbilly shack with couches, recliners and horse saddles to make anyone at home. The tales heard aboard Banjo Billy’s run the gamut from ghosts to prostitutes to gangsters long in heaven, so prepare yourself (banjobilly.com). Despite its conservative reputation, Denver knows how to throw a party. We always start a fun night at Charlie’s Denver for its mix of gay and straight clientele (okay, mostly gay and mostly men, but hey, it’s a country-western Shiny disco boots hang at party). There’s line dancing, Charlie’s Denver country western bar karaoke, trivia contests, and pool parties—without a pool (gotta love it). Charlie’s Denver is located in Capitol Hill (900 East Colfax Ave.).

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Boyztown Denver will be remembered by the old-timers as The Brig. It’s now a sexy, gay strip club with a cabaret element with more than a touch of the old-school about it. Translation: young twinks, old admirers, and lots of numbers and dollar bills going back and forth. (117 Broadway) For the leather crowd, and those that like them, the Denver Eagle brings that tradition to life in an authentic, rough, and stud sort of way. You’ll get more attention if you wear a harness or something that says you know your way around a set of wrist and ankle cuffs. The Eagle appreciates the nuance (1475 36th Street). For great music and let’s-break-a-sweat dancing, head directly to Compound (145 Broadway at West 2nd Avenue). It used to be called Compound Basix, and then tried Compound Denver. Now, either a part of the sign fell off, or it’s just plan Compound. Any way you call it, it’s a super friendly place with sexy, sexy bartenders. When it’s time to do something other than drink, think Racines (650 Racine’s Denver has been a favorite breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner & Sherman Street). It’s a late night joint since 1983 classy joint that’s been round for decades, is gay owned, and is open until midnight most nights (which in Colorado time is akin to four a.m.) Love the omelets at Racines, washed down with the strongest margarita in town. There’s a local outlet of Hamburger Mary’s Bar & Grill here as well. Located at 700 East 17th Avenue, Mary’s has the best patio dining in town for lunch or dinner. While it serves the usual suspects in the form of burgers and wraps, the food is a fresh as the camp a la Denver.

Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.

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By DALE MADISON

A “Bliss”-ful

Day at the “W”

isa Bosco, Director of Marketing at the “W” Fort Lauderdale hotel, says that the jet-setter resort’s upcoming “Bliss Guy” competition on Thursday, July 19 has a special place in its “heart” for South Florida’s gay men. “We started a few years ago,” she recalls. “The first year, we had 125 people attend. Last year, we had over 500 attendees, and for the last three years, the winners have all been gay. At first, we weren’t sure about last year’s winner—Jesse— but after his win, he confessed. ‘Yes, I am gay.’” Winning last year’s “Bliss Guy” was just the beginning for Jesse. “Now he splits his time between New York and Florida,” Bosco explains. “His modeling career has skyrocketed, and he did a huge spread in Cosmopolitan magazine.” She says that the W Fort Lauderdale has put a lot of time and effort into ensuring a successful event this time around. “Our casting calls have been going on throughout the spring and summer, and we’ve had some pretty amazing contestants,” Bosco brags. “Couple that with this year’s prize package for the winner, and it’s incredible.” She enjoys painting a picture of what guests— and the grand prize winner—can expect. “Just imagine: You get promotion on Y-100 radio, with DJ/personality Chris Cruz, who is our emcee. In addition, there’s a full one year use of Bliss Spa services, appearances at special events during the year [at what Trip Advisor has voted “The Trendiest Resort in the United States”], a $500 gift certificate from Original Penguin, and a mega gift basket with items from all of the event sponsors.” Those sponsors include Original Penguin menswear, Ford Models, local radio station Y-100, Ted Gibson Salon, Smart Water, Emaginative Creative Group,

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Beranek Optometry, and BodyTek Gym. Mike Verdugo of BodyTek has provided personal training facilities and services, to get the guys trained. Notes Bosco: “Of course, the winners are guys who really take care of themselves, and are pretty much amazing already, but it’s always great to allow them to work out and get better.” In addition to its central location between Palm Beach and Miami—just seven miles from Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood International Airport— the W Fort Lauderdale, managed by Starwood Hotels and Resorts, offers a sleek escape from the ordinary, including state-of-the-art gym facility, infinity pool, a fully-wired business center, and private cabanas. The W hosts “Girls Night Out,” Thursdays from 4 p.m. to midnight. “The ladies get a great deal,” explains Bosco. “They get mini treatments in the Bliss Spa, including reflexology, a mini massage, a mini facial, and a polish change, a visit to the Ted Gibson Salon, dinner at Steak 954, a trip to the Whiskey Blue Lounge—and, of course, the incredible treatment and attention that everyone gets at The W.” I’ll second that.

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Guy Fitness

By TOM BONANTI

Tremendous Triceps Will Set You Apart From The Others!

t takes hard work and tenacity to build a formidable set of arms, but having great triceps will set you above the rest! Triceps make up two-thirds of your upper arm, therefore it is logical that the bigger and more defined these babies are, the more massive your arms will look. The triceps are responsible for the movement of extension of the elbow and produce motion of the forearm. Because of their larger size you need to work tri’s a lot longer and harder than biceps. Hit triceps twice a week using three-to-four exercises of three-tofour sets, and between of eight-to-12 repetitions. Use free weights for triceps to give you a better range of motion and produce a fuller muscle. Always make sure you get a good stretch for tri’s especially as you conclude the workout. Stretching helps bring out the separations and detail in the muscle. Here are some dynamite exercises that will leave your triceps feeling pumped after only a few sessions: Whenever you are working a muscle group always include at least one exercise that will take the muscle group through its full range of motion. Close-grip bench presses will do this for triceps. Lie face up on a flat bench, feet firmly planted on the floor. Take a barbell or E-Z curl bar from the rack (or have your trainer or workout partner hand it to you). Use a narrow grip so that your hands are only two-to-three inches apart. Keeping your elbows close to your body, lower the weight to your lower sternum, and immediately push upwards. Always begin with a light warm-up set. I especially like this exercise for mass building. Triceps extensions are a classic. Start this exercise by holding a lat machine bar with your hands two-toeight inches apart. Now press downwards from your

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chin until your arms are straight (just barely locking out the elbow). Return and repeat. Most bodybuilders keep their elbows tucked in at their sides during this movement. A few deliberately hold the elbows out to the sides and lean into the exercise. The choice is yours. This exercise can also be performed with a rope instead of a straight bar or lat machine bar. Bent-over triceps kick-backs are great for isolating each triceps. Don’t be surprised if, upon examination, you find that one of your triceps is bigger or stronger than the other: This is common and this exercise will help build strength and symmetry in both arms. Hold a dumbbell in one hand and hold on to a rack or bench with the other hand. Raise and lower (kick back) the dumbbell at an even rate, keeping the upper arm in line with your torso and parallel to the floor. Keep your upper arm tight against your waist throughout. Be careful not to over use your wrist as you kick the weight back and extend the elbow. Lying triceps extensions, or “skull crushers” as they sometimes call them, are killers. Lie on your back on a flat bench and hold a barbell or E-Z curl bar at arms length above you. Lower it slowly to the forehead and raise the bar again to arm’s length above you. This is a more advanced exercise and you may have to wait until your tri’s are ready for this one. Remember, your biceps are fun to pump, but they are the smallest muscle group of the upper body. Your triceps are a larger muscle and require more work. You may not see them, but everyone else does when you turn your back at the beach or in your tightest muscle shirt. For more tips on pumping up your triceps—or anything else that you may fancy—contact TrainerTomB@aol.com

Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and owner of Pump’n Inc Gym at 1271 NE 9th Ave, Fort Lauderdale. For more tips on how to get bigger beefier arms by summer, give me a shout at TrainerTomB@aol.com

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Love Jones

By JUSTIN JONES

Letter to Fort Lauderdale

spent every summer as a teenager in Fort Lauderdale. From the first of June through the middle of August, I indulged in your beaches, in your clubs, and with your boys. Fort Lauderdale then was my escape—an annual breath of fresh air from my confined (and closeted) existence in North Carolina. You were my Disney World: a magical place, I deemed, where what made me different in North Carolina—my sexuality—made me desirable. These were the days of Cathode Ray and Coliseum (where I spent an exceptional 18th birthday, I might add), before social media took its hold: a time when partygoers dressed up and played just because—rather than pretending and over-glamorizing for the cameras. The atmosphere was raw, candid, intense… and wonderful. I marveled at, and envied the openness of Fort Lauderdale. I wrote private stories to myself: endless fantasies of what I’d do if I lived there full time. I’d extend the novelty of my summers—lazy, alcohol-soaked, sexinfused—beyond the season and into the rest of the year. True confession: I lost my backdoor virginity in Fort Lauderdale. And, through a multitude of trial and errors with too many men, I found out my “type” there—and what activities I enjoyed doing most with that “type.” I would later apply this learning when my slutdom came to its frenzied finale, and at last I found someone with whom to commit. Don’t let this recollection dictate to you how I remember Lauderdale-in-sum. It may sound like superficiality drove my love for the city. OK—well, you’re right. It WAS superficial then. At least I thought it was. But something happened one day. Something inside told me I was in love with Fort Lauderdale not because of the boys and the booze, but for another, more profound reason. I started growing up, and when I was 19, I realized that Fort Lauderdale wasn’t just a threedimensional wonderland. Fort Lauderdale was the place that gave me… me. The party life dominated my Fort Lauderdale experience in my youth. Summers there were annual two-and-a-half-month-long orgasms, releasing pent-up aggression and denial of my sexuality. I had to cram 12

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months of self-discovery every year into a single summer. It was the only place I felt wholly myself. I still hold Fort Lauderdale in high esteem; it’s one of my favorite cities in the world. For those of you rolling your eyes and lamenting your own Fort Lauderdale experience with opinions like, “Honey, there is just too much drama here,” or “Girl, this town is too fake,” or what have you, don’t be so quick. For at least one boy from the south, your town was an Emerald City. So, yes, Fort Lauderdale gave me who I am: It’s where I evolved from a frightened, naïve boy from North Carolina, to a trial-by-fire uber-mess, to someone who makes his way writing commentary on how we—us young, stillgrowing-up gays—see each other. I’ll make a trip back soon, sweet Lauderdale. We have some catching up to do.

Justin Jones, 25, is a writer based in Minneapolis. In addition to his column lovejones, Justin pens Through These Eyes, a bi-weekly column for Lavender Magazine. He writes about things like being alive, being in love, and drinking too much. Facebook.com/JustinJonesWriter.

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CHURCH OF THE HOLY SPIRIT SONG welcomes you to come and

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worship with us every Sunday at 10am and every Wednesday night at 7pm. We meet at the Spirit Song Worship Center at 2040B North Dixie Highway, Suite 3 in Wilton Manors (Building B on Equality Park Campus, behind the Pride Center). God loves you just the way He made you. Come discover His purpose for you. For more info: 954-418-8372, info@cohss.com, www.cohss.org

CLEAN IT RITE RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL CLEANING Best cleaning for your buck. Reliable & affordable. Ten years in business. 1 BR, $45.00, 2 BR $55.00, & 3BR $65.00. Manny (954) 560-4443 Broward, Palm Beach & Dade

We are here for you…DIVINE MERCY CHAPEL-The American

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WIG WILD INSPIRATIONAL & GATHERINGS Calling all Queens,

Where’s PCLauderdale? Anywhere you want us to be! Computer support for the home or office. We deliver! South Florida’s Premier Tech Solutions Provider 954.636.3322 www.PCLauderdale.Com **OPTIMA** COMPUTER REPAIR-COMPLETE IN HOME SERVICE Get the best performance, protection & value from your computer investment. *A+ Hardware & OS CERTIFIED. *Friendly, professional, RELIABLE service. Reasonable rates. (954) 817-3883

counseling / support GLBTQ HELPLINE & SUICIDE AWARENESS PROGRAM Lonely? Not leaving the house much? And you just can’t get motivated? Concerned about the way a b uddy is acting? Depressed, at the end of your rope? Got something on your mind you can’t talk to friends or family about? Call the GLBTQ Helpline & Suicide Awareness Program. Simply to talk, learn, and become aware. (305) 646-3600. Free & Confidential. Tri-lingual counselors available 24/7

home improvement DEREK’S 24 HR HANDYMAN SERVICE Introducing our new cabinet shop! For all your custom made cabinetry countertops laminates.YOU MUST SEE OUR WORK, just ask our clients. All electrical to code; ANY & ALL plumbing work, Drywall finish work / repair. Crown / baseboard pro-install, interior/ exterior painting, demo work, Pressure washing, Decor tile install,Complete home up-dates. For large jobs,4man crew available. WE CAN HANDLE IT ALL! Instant call back,direct service response. No job is ever too small.Excellent references. Derek (954) 825-5598

PLACE TO PALACE Home improvement and handyman services. Best rates, and smart solutions. Drywall, Painting, Tile, Doors, Wood Decks, Masonry, Pergolas, and Ceiling Fans. Turn windows into doors! Truck available for yard clean-up or apartment maintenance and moves. FREE estimates! Lic. & Ins. CC#11-FC-16297-X Cert. Ctrl#11-18694 Call Ben (954)565-9674

medical Currently enrolling HIV trials for people who have never

used antiviral medication, people failing a regimen which currently contains an integrase inhibitor, and for people on stable antivirals. For more information please call Verne Appleby, R.N. at 954-524-2250 ext 211. Labs and study medications supplied at no cost to participants.

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New Catholic Church 2749 N.E. 10th Ave., Wilton Manors, FL, 33334 (954)567-1930 www.newdivinemercy.org Sunday Mass 10:30AM, Friday Holy Hour 7:00PM

Bears, Twinks, Guppies, Trannies, Fairies, Spiritualists, Yoga Folks, LGBTQ’s, Poets, Dancers, Actors and all our Straight Allies. WIG the Gay Empowerment/Spiritual Revival awaits you every Wed. 8PM at The Manor Complex, $10 Donation Call 754-444-1944 Miami Herald, “The next generation’s spiritual Stonewall.”

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for sale FOR SALE: Sunrise Condo 55+ 1 BR & 1 ½ Baths. Includes Tennis, Golf, Pools, Club House Activities. Please Call 954-205-2187 until 10PM.

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Fantastic Duplex- Tons of charm near Wilton Manors. Totally Private, 1/1 located 10 blocks to beach. Dishwasher, tile floors, 2 parking spots, tropical setting, water & garbage included, pets ok with approval. $795 1st, last, sec. 954-632-6662 ROYAL PARK, Near Wilton Manors 1BR/1.5BA, $825-$900/mo. 2BR/2BA, $950 - $1100/mo. Gated Security, Clubhouse, Pools, Gym, Sauna and Steam room. Pets OK. Cable/Water/Trash incl. Call Naim Naqi, Realtor RWSF Realty 954.565.2025. PERFECT RELOCATION RENTALS 3-6 MONTHS. From $295/week (4 Week Special) & $1100/month (3 Month Special) Beautiful Studio, 1 & 2 BR Apts. Turnkey, fully furnished & equipped, clothing optional pool, laundry, parking. Close to Gay & Nude Beaches. Pets Welcome. Incl. utilities, cable, tel., Wi-Fi Internet. 954-927-0090 or visit www.LibertySuites.com N.E. FT. LAUDERDALE-WILTON MANOR AREA Large Efficiency, quiet

complex, tile floors, newer a/c, and refrigerator, private patio, cable ready, pest control included, No Pets Please. $585 By appointment. (954) 592-3772

HUGE TOWNHOUSE/NEW CONSTRUCTION- 3/2.5 w/ oversized 2 car

garage, 12ft. ceilings, balcony in every bedroom. Granite w/ stainless appliances, W/D, jacuzzi in master! 1 mile to Wilton Dr., 2 miles to beaches. Small pets OK. $1900/mo. (754)204-7400

WILTON MANORS 3 BED / 2 BATH POOL HOME JENADA ISLAND,

GREAT LOCATION! Almost 1800 Sq. Ft., plus carport, tile, new carpet in bedrooms, new paint, fenced private pool area, washer/dryer, pets OK, Only $2200. Call Robert Geary MacKilligan 954-234-8759 or rgmsell@aol.com

Wilton Manors – East Fort Lauderdale RENTALS, SALES|

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rent/lease WILTON MANORS- large 1 BD Apt. located on quiet cul-de-sac one

block from Shoppes of Wilton Manors. CAC, ceiling fans, tile floors, fireplace, lots of storage. 12 ft. sliding glass doors lead to screened pool and patio. W/D on premises. Rent, which includes electric, water & propane is $975/mo. Sorry no pets. (954) 563-4442 Wilton Manors - Walk to the Drive! Small 1/1 Tile throughout, Ceiling Fans, 2 AC Units, laundry Avail. $640 per mo. $300 Security Deposit (954) 537-7513

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