Funeral Times issue 3 / 2022 by Inhouse

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

2022 Vol.23 No.3

Introducing My Farewell Wishes Introducing My Farewell Wishes Your partner in delivering local funeral Your partner in delivering local funeral pre-planning services. pre-planning services. More details inside or find us at www.myfarewellwishes.ie us on More details inside- Call or find us 042 at 9667309 www.myfarewellwishes.ie - Call us on 042 9667309

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A humanist funeral or memorial is the perfect option for families and friends ö©Ë ö Äæ Þ¬Ä Ú ɇ × ÚÞËÄ ½ Ú ĉ æ¬ËÄ on the life of their loved ones – without religion. This can be especially important if the person who died was not religious.

A funeral can include time for silent Ú ĉ æ¬ËÄ ËÄ æ© ½¬£ Ë£ æ© Þ Ɍ This time is inclusive of people from all backgrounds and people with religious beliefs can take this opportunity to say a silent prayer, if they wish.

Find your local celebrant Our funeral and memorial ceremonies are conducted by humanist celebrants. ËÄæ æ ËÄ Ë£ ËêÚ ½ Ú ÄæÞ æË ü æË ĈÄ Ëêæ ÃËÚ Ëêæ Þ ü¬Ä¤ ¬¤Ä¬Ĉ and personal farewell. BALLYCASTLE John Foley 07949 114455

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The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Clare Ann is a Galway Rose 5

Steam Train at Riverstick send-off 9

Stephen new NAFD NI President 60

Contents

Clare Ann is a Galway Rose..........................................................................................................................5 Steam Train at Riverstick send-off............................................................................................................9 James Brown launches Community Fund.............................................................................................12 IAFD News.......................................................................................................................................................... 18 Introducing new IAFD board members................................................................................................. 18 Changes to Roselawn operating procedures......................................................................................27 BIE News ........................................................................................................................................................... 28 Eimer Duffy makes her debut at NFE 2022.........................................................................................34 Ben Whitworth tells us that it’s not all about the deceased..................................................... 44 Suicide figures revised downwards........................................................................................................50 Positive death library for Co. Tyrone....................................................................................................50 NAFD News ..................................................................................................................................................... 56 Stephen Larkin appointed new NAFD NI President.......................................................................60 A review of NFE 2022....................................................................................................................................62 The Dead House by Mattie Lennon . ................................................................................................... 64 Dealing with the death of a child by Jennifer Muldowney........................................................ 69 SAIF News ........................................................................................................................................................ 70 Dr Bill Webster on Grief: Officially a mental health disorder....................................................74 Classifieds .........................................................................................................................................................80

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused. FuneralTimes | 3

4 | FuneralTimes

Galway’s Rose is an embalmer Clare Ann Irwin of Irwin’s Funeral Home, Bóthar Irwin, Galway City will represent Galway and the funeral and embalming industries in The Rose of Tralee Festival.

n the 7th of May, Clare Ann was crowned the Galway Rose for 2022. Previously a primary school teacher, Clare Ann graduated from Mary Immaculate College, University of Limerick with an honours degree in Primary School Teaching and Psychology. After graduating, Clare Ann taught for three years in both Dublin and Galway. Clare Ann says she always knew that her heart was rooted in the funeral business and once enrolled with The Irish College of Funeral Directing and Embalming in 2020, she knew this was where her true passion lay. Having been established in 1834, Irwin’s is the oldest established funeral firm in Galway City. Clare Ann is the 5th generation of the Joe and Ann Irwin from Galway with their daughter Clare Ann business but the first female funeral father Paddy Irwin. Ann, a retired nurse has director and embalmer since its become heavily involved in the business since establishment. Clare Ann works alongside retirement. her parents Joe and Ann Irwin. Joe started Clare Ann is extremely passionate about in the business at the age of 14 alongside his women working in industries which are stereotypically seen as, predominantly for men and says this was a huge factor which motivated her to apply for the Rose of Tralee. She hopes that her story can inspire other young girls and women in society, to follow the career in which they are most passionate about and to never let their gender prevent them from doing so. Although she enjoyed her years teaching, Clare Clare Ann in Ann hasn’t looked back for a second and says work-mode as that she couldn’t relate more to the saying ‘If an embalmer you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.’ We wish Clare Ann all of the best in her journey and preparations as she represents Galway in Tralee, at The Rose of Tralee Festival on the 19th-23rd of August. FuneralTimes | 5

Advertorial Funeral Director Solutions are delighted Funeral Director Solutions are toto to Funeral Director Solutions aredelighted delighted introduce My Farewell Wishes - Your partner introduce My Wishes - Your partner inin in introduce MyFarewell Farewell Wishes - Your partner delivering local funeral pre-planning services. delivering local funeral pre-planning services. delivering local funeral pre-planning services.

My Farewell is Designed anDesigned Irish Designed MyMy Farewell Wishes isWishes an Irish and Farewell Wishes is an Irish and and Operated Funeral Planning Service Operated Funeral Planning Service that Operated Funeral Planning Service that that allows your customers allows your customers to:to: to: allows your customers • Learn about the funeral various funeral options • Learn about the various options that • Learn about the various funeral options that that are available to them areare available to them available to them •and Record and share theirwishes funeral wishes • Record share their funeral with • Record and share their funeral wishes with with you and nominated family members you and nominated family members you and nominated family members • Pay towards the cost of funeral theirwith funeral • Pay towards thethe cost of of their funeral • Pay towards cost their with with theof offund a fund trust fund managed by a secure, thethe useuse of a use trust managed by by a secure, a trust managed a secure, independent and regulated Trust independent and regulated Trust Fund independent and regulated Trust Fund Fund Company Company Company 6 | FuneralTimes

A demand for funeral pre-planning exists. FUNERAL DIRECTOR SOLUTIONS COMMISSIONED A SURVEY IN JUNE 2021 TO GAUGE THE LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE OF IRISH PEOPLE IN RELATION TO FUNERAL PRE-PLANNING.

• Over 70% of the people surveyed didn’t realise that they could pre-plan a funeral • 43% of the total group said that they would like pre-plan their funeral • 80% of the group who said that they would like to pre-plan said that they would like to get a cost estimate for their funeral • 60% of the group who were interested in funeral pre-planning said that they would also like to make a payment • 65% of those who would like to pay towards the cost of their funeral confirmed that they would prefer to spread the cost of their payment over 1 to 3 years. of UK per year • 200k plans sold in all of all • This figure is up to 60% in some European countries - Netherlands • There is anecdotal evidence among funeral directors of increased interest in pre-planning since the beginning of the pandemic

My Farewell Wishes has been designed by Irish Funeral Directors, for the Irish market.

THE MY FAREWELL WISHES APPROACH OUR GOAL: is to help you provide a positive pre-planning experience for your customers that makes it as easy as possible for them by providing you with administrative tools that you need and can depend on. Tools such as – The Record of Wishes Guide and Form and our unique online planner.

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FuneralTimes | 7

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Picture by David Creedon A 1911 Burrell steam engine leads the funeral cortege of leading Riverstick business man, Mr Con McSweeney

1911 Burrell Steam Train leads the way to final resting place The funeral of Con McSweeney of Riverstick Motors would have attracted much attention regardless of the event. A well known member of the Riverstick, Co. Cork community, friends and family turned out in their hundreds to pay their respects. On the day however, a rare sight was provided for mourners and passers by alike. The 6th June, 2022 saw a 1911 Burrell steam engine leading the cortege at St. Joseph’s Church, Riverstick,

organised by Gabriel & O’Donovans Funeral Directors, Kinsale. The independent, family-run firm, was established by Robert Gabriel and Hughie O’Donovan in 1981 and are dedicated to providing a Professional Funeral Service to their community. With Robert’s daughters Rosemary and Clodagh now an integral part of the business, they are a valued part of the communities which they serve. FuneralTimes | 9

Celebrating each and every person… SUPPLYING A RANGE OF PICTURE COFFINS AND ASHES CASKETS FOR A PERSONALISED FAREWELL TO YOUR LOVED ONES

Our environmentally friendly coffins are made from sustainable materials and are covered with eco-friendly ink prints on chlorine and PVC free film. They are fitted with painted solid hardwood handles and gold or chrome coloured wreath hangers. Suitable for both burial and cremation. • Internally, they have an Italian embossed suite which includes interior and exterior frill with matching pillowcase which has been created using poly-cotton fabric, woven in Milan • Each coffin is provided with a gold or silver mirror chrome plaque with corresponding theme • A matching ashes casket is available for each coffin Our full range can be viewed on our website www.reflectiveendings.ie or contact us for a brochure and price list. Reflective Endings, Multyfarnham, Co Westmeath Tel : 086 303 2913 or Email : info@reflectiveendings.ie

“But who can we get to clean this up?” How many times have you been asked this during a removal, whilst skilfully beavering your way through a hoarded house without tripping and dropping the body? Graceful manoeuvring is your job, the cleaning up ours. Whether it’s a sea of empty bottles and mountains of rubbish or carefully crafted towers of gubbins blocking every which way, relatives dealing with a death can often be left wondering how or where to start the clearing and cleaning process. In situations where the deceased has not been found for a period of time and families, friends, landlords or neighbours are asking in earnest “Who can we get to clean this up?” We are there. Unfortunately suicide can also leave its mark, not just emotionally but visually and physically in the home as well, again something families and friends do not have to attempt to clean by themselves, we are there. Death is not always

slipping away peacefully in ones sleep, more often than not it happens leaving unpleasant circumstances for others and a pressing matter for the big question, “who can we get to clean this up?” This is were we like to shine our light and provide the answer. Specialist Cleaning NI. Cleaning up since 2012 “Give Alana a wee ring” No matter the situation we can provide a tailored cleaning service for such pressing matters. Unmarked vans for privacy, a small team for accuracy, and shed load of compassion for understanding and respect. I would personally like to thank those of you who have been in touch since my first article, it’s always a pleasure to make new contacts and provide help where it’s needed. I wholeheartedly appreciate the recommendations and I look forward to more lasting connections all over the country.

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FuneralTimes | 11 03/02/2022 12:49

James Brown & Sons Community Fund launched £20,000 Community Fund launched to fund grass-roots good causes provided by local charities and not-for-profit organisations working to benefit people in Belfast and surrounding areas.

ames Brown & Sons has been committed to serving the people of greater Belfast since 1904 and this year they have launched the first ever James Brown & Sons Community Fund, to provide much-needed support to charities and not-for-profit organisations. The funding will focus on programmes that benefit local communities in the heart of Belfast and surrounding areas. Successful applicants to the fund will represent communities within a three-mile radius of James Brown & Sons located on Belfast’s Newtownards Road, Lisburn Road, Knockbreda Road, and Dundonald, Dunmurry and Whiteabbey. Speaking about the launch of the fund in his family name, James Brown said: “It has been a humbling experience for us to serve the people of greater Belfast for almost 120 years and while we have witnessed many bad times, there have been many good times too. “We have made countless charitable donations over the years, but this is the first time that we, James Brown & Sons, supported by Funeral Partners, have taken a formal approach to recognise the good causes in our area with the launch of the James Brown & Sons Community Fund. “Sadly, we have all been impacted by the pandemic and if the last two years have taught us anything, it’s to look after our neighbours and those closest to us. Therefore, I am both honoured and privileged to be able to launch this fund in the name of the business started by my grandfather, at a time when so many community organisations are struggling to survive. “I trust that the fund will go some way to

12 | FuneralTimes

James Brown from James Brown & Sons enabling a range of community groups in the greater Belfast area and beyond to continue their important work and to thrive. “Whether you host a children’s after school club, you maintain a community garden, you support disadvantaged groups in your community, provide employment within the local area, or you campaign for social justice, we want to hear from you. “No matter how small or large your community

initiative is, I would encourage you to apply for the James Brown & Sons Community Fund as we want to connect and engage with projects in our local communities to help them develop as we reunite beyond the pandemic and all look to a brighter future.” The fund will be distributed in three cycles

Emma Moore, Branch Development Manager and Andrew Neale, branch manager at James Brown & Sons

throughout 2022 with grants of between £300 and £1,500 being awarded to a maximum of £6,666 in each cycle. The deadline for applications to the first James Brown & Sons Community Fund was at the beginning of June and the recipients will be announced soon. The second round of the Fund will open for applications on 25 July and closes on 25 August 2022. The third round opens in October. Applicants must demonstrate how they improve the quality of life for local residents and the wider community. Projects applying for the fund should apply by email in no more than 500 words aligning to James Brown & Sons’ funding focus areas: Health, Education, Employment Opportunities and Poverty/Social Deprivation. For further information and to apply to the fund, please visit: www.jamesbrownfuneraldirectors.com or email: jamesbrowncommunityfund@ funeralpartners.com.

Funeral Directors put their best foot forward to help Cruse Bereavement Support NI A team representing Funeral Partners Northern Ireland put on their walking boots to raise £3000 for Cruse Bereavement Support NI. Jon Baird, Business Principal from Baird’s Funeral Service of Antrim, joined colleagues from funeral homes across Northern Ireland to take part in a 10 Km sponsored walk for Cruse Bereavement Support (NI). Jon was part of the team who raised over £3,000 for the charity. He said: “We wanted to get together with colleagues in a different environment to raise money for a worthy cause and decided that an enjoyable way to do it was by tackling a 10 Km sponsored walk. “The weather was on our side and the route took us around the beautiful Roe Valley Country Park in Limavady, taking in the great scenery with a mix of off-road walking and some challenging

climbs. I’m pleased that we all completed the walk and had a great day, raising lots of money along the way.” Bairds of Antrim is part of the Funeral Partners network of high-quality funeral homes who run 16 funeral homes in Northern Ireland and previously partnered with Cruse Bereavement Support NI to help recruit and train new bereavement volunteers. Jon added: “We wanted to raise money for Cruse as we knew that all the money we raised would be spent on bereavement services in our local community. We hope that the money from the walk will fund more bereavement volunteers to provide support to people whose FuneralTimes | 13

The Funeral Partners management team who took part in the walk - left to right, Andrew Neale, Ashley Walker, Angela Worrell, Ruth Meadows, Emma Jayne McClure, Wayne Glenn, Emma Moore, Beverley Brown, Kylie Gourley, Jon Baird, Julian Hodgkinson loved ones we have arranged funerals for.” Elaine Brannigan, Community Fundraising and Engagement Manager for Cruse Bereavement Support NI said: “Due to the effects of the pandemic, the number of people seeking our specialist bereavement support has risen

dramatically. We are absolutely delighted to have the support of Funeral Partners Northern Ireland and would like to thank everyone involved in raising such a fantastic amount in aid of Cruse. The money will help us to support more local bereaved people quicker.”

About Funeral Partners: Funeral Partners is the UK’s third largest funeral business, with more than 230 funeral homes staffed by over 1000 dedicated funeral professionals serving communities across England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Chief Executive Sam Kershaw has over 40 years’ experience in the funeral profession, joining the business back in 2016 as Chief Operating Officer. Funeral Partners, celebrating its 15-year anniversary in 2022, has grown rapidly, building a strong reputation as a well-run, high-quality funeral services business overseeing more than 25,000 funerals each year. It now includes more than 125 family businesses, which have entrusted their reputation and heritage to Funeral Partners. Contact: For more information about Funeral Partners visit: www.funeralpartners.co.uk or corporate.funeralpartners.co.uk 14 | FuneralTimes

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IAFD News Introducing members of IAFD Board Over the next few editions, we would like to introduce you to members of the IAFD Board

Fintan Cooney Membership Officer Fintan has worked in the funeral profession for ten years having joined Fanagans Funeral Directors in 2012. He previously worked in the advertising industry for 25 years and was a shareholder and director of the Chemistry advertising agency for 13 years. He has been a board member of the Institute of Advertising Practitioners in Ireland (IAPI) and the St James’s Hospital Foundation. He is a past chairman of the Publicity Club of Ireland and a past president of the Castleknock College Union. He is currently manager of Fanagans, Dundrum, Dublin.

Mary Cunniffe Public Relations Officer Mary is the Branch Manager at Massey Bros Funeral Directors, Templeogue and Past - President of Irish Association of Funeral Directors At the same time as leaving the financial services industry in 2000 she was confronted by the loss of two close family members and that difficult experience showed her many of the challenges families face both emotionally and financially at this time. Later that year, she had the opportunity to join the funeral business helping families plan and fund for this inevitable event so they could avoid some of the challenges she had experienced. 18 | FuneralTimes

IAFD News In 2008 she joined Massey Brothers and her experiences over those years have led her to understand how difficult it is for families to make decisions at a very emotional time, that every funeral is different and every little detail matters In November 2017 she became President of the

IAFD. This allowed her to make a real leadership contribution by shaping, upholding and further improving the standards and services of the industry. Mary is originally from Co. Roscommon, she is married, lives in Dublin and has three adult children.

Benefits of joining Irish Association of Funeral Directors • Membership of a professional organisation recognised by the general public • Board of funeral professionals available to assist members • Funeral director led organisation for promoting and developing standards of funeral service including a Code of Practice for all Members • Representation of Members with Government, local authorities and media • Unique all island network of funeral directors • Professional Indemnity Insurance included as part of Membership fees • Dispute resolution and Mediation - including legal advisory service • Access to IAFD education programme • Links to other trade associations The next F.D.C.A. is due to recommence Autumn 2022. We hope to advertise the course in June and begin classes in September. Feedback from the previous course indicated that a combination of online and classroom lessons would be best so we will be moving to this format. Classes will be held at Glasnevin Trust. FuneralTimes | 19

IAFD News IAFD Excellence Programme

Preparation work for the launch of the IAFD Excellence Audit is progressing well. The Excellence Audit, which replaces the Excellence Programme 2, will require every IAFD member to complete a selfaudit every three years. The audit will ensure that members are compliant with IAFD’s Code of Practice and Quality Standard and with health & safety and employment legislation. 20 | FuneralTimes

Every year a percentage of those who complete the self-audit will receive a site visit to validate their audit submission. Following a programme of communications and education for members, it is planned to issue the first self-audit questionnaires to approximately 90 members this Autumn.

IAFD Contacts Dara Gillespie (President) Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee, Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Tom Lawless (First Vice President) Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie Niall Mulligan (Second Vice President and Hon. Treasurer) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim, Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com Donal Forde (Immediate Past President) Forde & Sons Funeral Home South Gate Bridge Cork, Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: fordes@indigo.ie Keith Greaney (Hon. Secretary) Conneely Funeral Directors Flood Street Galway 091 562866 keithgreaney@gmail.com

Email: mary.cunniffe@hotmail.com Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer) Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: fintanjen@gmail.com Niamh Sweeney (Education Officer) John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: niamh@johnsweeneyandsons.ie Kylie Gourley Funeral Partners Northern Ireland 300 Newtownards Road Belfast BT4 1HF Ph: 028 9045 1021 Email: kylie.gourley@funeralpartners.com John Mark Griffin Griffin Funerals John’s Gate Pennywell Limerick Ph: 061 415000 Email: johnmark@griffinfunerals.com Peter Maguire Massey Bros Crumlin Road, Dublin Ph: 01 4541666 Email: peter@masseybros.com

Mary Cunniffe (PRO) Massey Bros Funeral Home Templeogue Village Dublin 6W Mobile: 085 8010742 Ph: 01 4907601 FuneralTimes | 21

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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

Charity’s supporters help raise £50,000 to fight heart disease In February, NICHS hosted their biggest Red Dress Fun Run to date, proudly supported by MACE.

ust under 600 participants supported the charity’s mission of combating heart disease with £50,000 of vital funds being raised by supporters like Isaac, Amanda and Danielle. 9-year-old Isaac Gamble from Belfast sadly couldn’t attend the event due to contracting COVID-19. He didn’t let that stand in his way however and completed his run at home. The following week Isaac and his family went to Stormont Estate to host their own version of the event and Isaac was able to run the original 5K route. Isaac supported the charity in memory of his papa, Alec, and raised a brilliant £880. Amanda Ross, from New Buildings supported the event with a group of family and friends in memory of her husband Barney who sadly passed away suddenly in 2021 from a heart attack. Amanda says; “We wanted to take part in

the Red Dress Fun Run to help raise awareness of the early signs and symptoms of a heart attack.” “Barney experienced some heart attack symptoms, but he just put them down to other things. I believe if he had gone to get checked out I wouldn’t be sitting here as a widow.” “To have raised £6,817 for NICHS is amazing. Our involvement has not only helped raise

Amanda Ross and family presenting their Red Dress Fun Run fundraising cheque to Mona Duddy, NICHS Care Services Co-ordinator

Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

9-year-old Isaac Gamble supported this year’s Red Dress Fun Run vital funds for the charity but has also helped raise awareness of heart health which we are delighted about.” Over twenty volunteers from Foyle Search and Rescue took part in a virtual Red Dress Fun Run in Derry/Londonderry, raising a fantastic £2396. This was in support of one of their volunteers, Danielle Francis, whose mum’s partner, Michael, died suddenly from a heart attack, aged just 47. Danielle says; “We hope this money helps to support those with life-changing illnesses and will help fund research into the prevention of chest, heart and stroke conditions.” Nearly 90% of NICHS’s care and prevention services and research projects are funded exclusively by donations so fundraising efforts like Isaac, Amanda and Danielle’s are vital to what the charity can achieve. The money donated by supporters enables NICHS to continue to support the thousands of local people who need them and provide lifechanging services for people living with chest, heart and stroke conditions and their families.

To find out more about NICHS’s work and their support services, visit www.nichs.org.uk

Mona Duddy, NICHS Care Services Co-ordinator and Rachel Dobbins and Danielle Francis from Foyle Search and Rescue

FuneralTimes | 25

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Edwina from Fitzgerald’s Funeral Directors, Rush collects the latest addition to their fleet with a new E Class 5 Door hearse from Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Mortuary Services & Training Specialists (BIE Accredited tutor, Cyril Gantley) Professional and very Competitive Repatriation Service. Nationwide Collection and Embalming Service.

Daily Collections from Dublin Hospitals, Nursing Homes etc. (deceased can be then collected from our premises or delivered to your Funeral Home)

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Changes to Roselawn Crematorium operating procedures I n a further sign of normalisation after the Covid 19 pandemic, Roselawn Crematorium in Belfast have eased some restrictions around the use of the chapel for funerals. The revised standard operating procedures allows a fully seated capacity of 80 family and mourners to attend a time-limited fifteen minute committal service. An unlimited number of officiants and funeral director staff may now also be present inside the chapel. Another relaxation sees an end to funeral directors having to submit an invite list. The health and safety risk assessment still requires a time period between services for fresh air ventilation which

significantly restricts the time for a committal service leaving ten minutes for entrance, fifteen minutes for the service and five minutes for egress. Face coverings for funeral directors, officiants and

attendees are recommended when attending Roselawn

while Reflections Coffee Shop, The Book of Remembrance Room and Administration Office will remain closed.

FuneralTimes | 27

BIE News BIE News Ireland Division Hi All, I hope everyone is keeping well. Summer is finally here and I hope everyone is out enjoying the bit of good weather we’re getting or enjoying some well deserved time off from this hectic lifestyle we live. I hope everyone that attended our last meeting on the 3rd of April enjoyed the day. It was fun and educational with Dr. Phil Gore giving us an entertaining presentation, followed by a trip to the Leprechaun Museum. Even baby Finn enjoyed meeting everyone after the meeting getting the cuddles from all the gang! We were delighted to finally be able to present some of our members with their certificates who unfortunately due to Covid didn’t get the opportunity to be presented in person. We have our 3rd meeting of the year on

The Northern Division is also providing an informal dinner for that evening but attendance needs to be confirmed in advance with

25th June in the Dunsilly Hotel in Antrim. The

our secretary Jenny Tighe. It will be a great

Northern Division have been kind enough to

experience teaming up with the Northern

invite us up to join them. I understand it is a

Division again as we have a lot to learn from

long way to travel for a meeting but they have

each other and it will be beneficial to all

a great day planned ahead with an educational

members and students to attend.

session and also a presentation from Omega supplies on ESCO fluids. It will be a great

On a final note, I hope everyone enjoys their summer and don’t work too hard!

insight into another product and it’s uses to benefit you. It is always good to have a varied knowledge on a range of products! 28 | FuneralTimes

BIE Irish Chairperson Niamh Cusack

BIE News BIE News Pictures taken at the Maldron hotel in Dublin on the 3rd of April. We were delighted to finally present our members with certificates of the Irish Division of the British Institute of Embalmers.

Mortuary Science Ireland, Cyril Gantley (BIE accredited tutor), Sarah Roe MBIE and Susan Moran MBIE

Paul Fahy, MBIE chairperson and Niamh Cusack MBIE

Dr Phil Gore MBIE, John Mcdonagh MBIE and Chairperson Niamh Cusack MBIE

Irish Divisional Secretary, Jenny Tighe MBIE and chairperson Niamh Cusack MBIE FuneralTimes | 29

BIE News BIE News

Chairperson Niamh Cusack MBIE and Irish Divisional Secretary, Jenny Tighe MBIE, presenting Dr Phil Gore MBIE, with a gift for his fantastic presentation given at the meeting in the Maldron Hotel, Dublin

Chairperson Niamh Cusack MBIE with Dr Phil Gore MBIE

Members and students of the Northern Ireland division and Irish division thoroughly enjoyed an afternoon of activities after our joint meeting in Dublin 30 | FuneralTimes

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2022/2023 IRISH DIVISION Chairperson & Divisional Liaison Officer: Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford. Tel: 086 3744x762 E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com Vice Chairperson: Robert Fehily MBIE Strand Road, Carrigaline, Co. Cork Tel: 087 660919 E: robertfehily@gmail.com Secretary & Public Relations Offcer: Jennifer Tighe MBIE St. Patrick Street, Boyle, Co. Roscommon Tel: 086 8854333 E: Jennytighe30@yahoo.com 1st National Council Rep & National Educational Rep: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuaryscience.ie Treasurer: John Hawe MBIE 12 Meadow Vale, Smith’s Road, Charleville, Co. Cork Mobile: 087 6390087 E: jmhawe@eircom.net Professional Standards Rep: Susan Moran 20 Cedarwood Park, Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile: 086 0619500 E: susan.moran@mortuaryscience.ie

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION Chairman Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk Vice Chairman: Mrs N Taggart, MBIE 11 Alderley Crescent, Newtownabbey BT36 7WY Tel: 07917 220073 E: nikkiknockaning@aol.com 1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com 2nd National Council Representative: Ellison Sloan MBIE Tel: 028 3833 6175 Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals. com Secretary: Liam Edwin Boyle, MBIE 4 Bradford Place Belfast BT8 7AW Tel: 07713 575501 E: liamboyle15@hotmail.co.uk Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie Tel. 07523 477852 27 Navan Court Armagh

1st Educational Committee Representative: Stephen Shields MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@ funeralpartners.com Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE National President: Bobby Hopkin-Hoggarth MBIE Imm. Past President: Dr Phil Gore MBIE 1st Vice President: Dianne Hughes National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Tel: 01335 361419 Mobile: 07786 432014 E: karencaney@btinternet.com National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Business Tel: 01582 490005 Home Tel: 01525 860117 E: michael@silsloe.wanadoo.co.uk Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk Master Fellow: David Kaye FBIE Student Liaison Officer: David Coster MBIE FuneralTimes | 31

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Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. Through bespoke solutions, Eimer helps Funeral Directors and Celebrants gain a better online presence, build communities and trust online with zero stress and hassle in a short space of time. She also cohosts the only social media for business radio show in Ireland called “The Let’s Get Social Show” every Friday at 2pm on Dublin South FM and the show is on podcast too. Check out www.fitsocialmedia.ie to learn more.

Eimer makes her debut at The National Funeral Exhibition 2022 I

’m writing this article nearly two weeks prior to my first ‘in person’ exhibition in over two years! It’s on Friday 10th June until Sunday 12th June 2022 - The National Association of Funeral Directors’ leading Funeral conference and exhibition NFE2022. As I’m sure many of you are aware, The National Funeral Exhibition is the largest Funeral exhibition in UK. It is in the “NAEC” National Agricultural and Exhibition Centre, Stoneleigh Park and is normally held every two years. The last event was in 2019 and was unfortunately cancelled due to Covid in 2021 but, thankfully, all is good for this year. The 2019 event had over 4,500 people and no doubt there will be a great turnout this year. With funeral specialists exhibiting the A-Z in highest quality funeral products and services, it is going to be the funeral exhibition you will not want to miss. With informative and educational seminars held across the three days, it will definitely be a very engaging experience. The hashtag is #NFE2022, so hopefully everyone included it in their social media posts and tweets before, during and after the exhibition.

WE WERE AT 34 | FuneralTimes

My Journey This is my first time at the exhibition and I have to say it was great to have Jane Lawrence, Event Operations Manager, as a contact. She gave great advice and support with registering and answered all my questions. I have been following and connecting with some of the exhibitors ahead of the exhibition. It has been great to hear all about the previous conferences and exhibitions. Everyone I have spoken with has been so generous and helpful. I am looking forward to visiting the stands and finding out about what everyone provides and hearing about all the latest updates. When the event opens it will be great to meet everyone over the three days. I’m heading over on Thursday 9th June and then over to NAEC to get set up ahead of the first day, Friday. I am travelling with two ladies I work with on various projects Helena Gilhooly and Vikki Keenan.

The icing on the cake for me is being invited to present and speak in the Lecture Theatre on the topic of “Social Media and How Can It Help Grow Your Funeral Business?” As you are aware, I’m writing this article before I head off to the show, so if you did attend, I hope you dropped over and said “Hello”. Hopefully you followed me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Linkedin. Let’s hope we got the hashtag #NFE2022 trending on social media and you raised the visibility of your social profiles too. Fun Event Tip... Have you exhibited away before, outside of Ireland? Tired to bring a pull-up banner with you to an event and thought the only option was to courier it over and back? There is another way, put it in a golf bag and you even have room for a few golf clubs. So if there’s the opportunity

for a game of golf you have an excuse to bring those clubs too! Would you like some further information? If you would like to have a chat about your online presence do get in touch. If you have questions about social media and digital marketing, I’m always happy to chat. I have loads of great resources on my website www.fitsocialmedia.ie such as; blogs, the radio show and podcast, and my Hashtag Handbook which is free to download and lots of tips to help with raising your social media visibility by using hashtags. Thanks for reading - I’ll give you a full summary of my time at The National Funeral Exhibition 2022, in the next issue of Funeral Times!

Eimer

If you have any more questions, send them into Eimer and she will answer them for you, and we will publish them in our next edition. All questions submitted and published can be anonymous if you wish. You can contact Eimer by email at: eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie.

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Martin Gilligan and his family, from Martin Gilligan Funeral Director, Claremorris, lift the keys to their latest investment, a new 3 door E Class hearse from Quinn Hearse and Limousine

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FuneralTimes | 37

Humanist funerals in Northern Ireland

The Northern Ireland Humanists network recorded a 53% rise in funerals taken in the year between March 2021 and March 2022. This is reflective of the huge by Humanists UK provides me societal shift of more people with public liability professional identifying as non-religious indemnity insurance. I have also than ever before and with passed a Disclosure and Barring that, perhaps, comes more Service (DBS) check.“ open attitudes towards In the 2020 Northern Ireland death. The facts show that Life and Times Survey 27% of more and more families are respondents said they had no opting for a non-religious religion – an increase of 7% on funeral for their loved ones. 2019. This latest surge means Humanists UK (known that the overall figure has risen until 2018 as the British by 125% in the last decade. Humanist Association) has The question asked was ‘Do been leading non-religious you regard yourself as belonging funerals, weddings and naming to any particular religion? Richard Lavery, Humanist celebrant If yes, which?’ 28% said ceremonies for more than 125 years. It is the longestCatholic, 27% No Religion, 18% standing provider of non-religious ceremonies, Presbyterian, 11% Anglican, and 12% some other and the longest-established celebrant training form of Christian. organisation. Humanist UK accreditation means that “Working with a family to create a bespoke celebrants have access to a network of farewell to their loved one is challenging, colleagues who have been trained to the same intensely personal and one of the most high standards. If anyone is unavailable to rewarding things I’ve ever been involved with.” perform your ceremony, they’d be delighted to says local Humanist celebrant Richard Lavery. suggest a colleague who may be able to help. “I have been accredited to conduct funeral In the highly unlikely event that an individual ceremonies by Humanists UK. This means I, and cannot perform the ceremony on the day all my colleagues, have been professionally (due to accident or other unforeseeable trained, observed and complete regular circumstance) access to the Humanist UK professional development to ensure we provide network of celebrants means they are able to the highest quality service. In Northern Ireland help locate a replacement in a timely manner. we are on schedule to perform 1,000 legal and The strength of the network was tested recently recognised weddings this year. Each and every when a celebrant was involved in a serious car person who attends one of these weddings is accident only two hours before being due to given an insight as to how beautiful they are conduct a wedding service 50 miles away. The and becomes more familiar with the option personalised wedding script was emailed to a of Humanism in funerals too. Accreditation colleague immediately who was able to arrive 38 | FuneralTimes

at the hotel fully prepared and conduct the service on time for a very appreciative couple! At a Humanist funeral the focus is on the life of the person who has died, the relationships they forged, and the legacy they left behind. They will be given a respectful and dignified service - if that is what he or she wants - but it isn’t always what they want - and that is core to what we do - satisfy the needs of the client. Satisfaction levels for the work of Humanists UK is very high - 98% of feedback gives them five stars (out of five). They will meet with the next of kin and others to discuss fully what they want from the funeral and write and agree a script with them, so there are no surprises on the day, which can be a comfort in itself. If a client comes to you and says that they or the deceased had no religion, they deserve to have a celebrant whose beliefs are in line with their own.

Humanists don’t believe in an afterlife but they are not anti-religion. In most cases a funeral will allow time for reflection and silent prayer. Each of the Humanist funeral celebrants in Northern Ireland works independently and sets their own fee but they will declare the cost upfront and you can agree it with the family. Part of their fee goes to support the charity’s objectives of equality, fairness and respect for all. It is not unusual for Humanist UK’s celebrants to spend about 10 hours working on each funeral ceremony (sometimes even longer). In the unlikely event that you are unhappy with a service a celebrant has provided, you can do so via Humanists UK who maintain a code of conduct for all accredited celebrants and a rigorous procedure for handling complaints. A full list of Northern Ireland based humanist celebrants can be found on the inside front cover of this magazine.

FuneralTimes | 39

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“Beautiful”, “Peaceful”, “Gentle”, “Respectful”, “Professional”, “Exactly what they wanted”. These are just a small selection of the many adjectives and phrases used by families we have had the honour of being able to support and assist when they are talking about their visit to Shannon Crematorium. Visitors to the crematorium are quite often struck by the natural beauty of the tranquil location in which the crematorium is set. Surrounded by mature trees, manicured lawns

and a new plantation of over 200 native trees which have truly come in to bloom this spring summer season, the stone façade of the crematorium chapel nestled into the beautiful surrounds make it seem like the building has been in place for years. As Shannon Crematorium reaches a milestone of 5 years of operation this June, the team continue to strive to support funeral directors and grieving families for this stage of their funeral process. We have learnt a lot and improved many things over the past few years including expanding and enhancing our gardens to encapsulate and capture the idyllic location and scenic views that we have over the River Shannon. By creating a walkway alongside our Columbarium wall up to a raised circular area with rock seating we have brought the beauty of the river closer to people who take time to sit and rest amongst nature and near to their loved ones. Working daily with funeral directors from over 20 counties across the island of Ireland,

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our team are happy to guide and support funeral directors and families with their service options, be they religious or non-religious, sourcing suitable celebrants to meet their requirements. Preparing music selections, that best capture the essence of their loved one, and providing suggestions and recommendations, when requested, for suitable venues nearby for families to gather following their service. The knowledge and insight we have gained and learnt over the past 5 years and together with the relationships and friendships we have built and nurtured with Funeral directors and celebrants help us to better provide continued high standards of service to families at a difficult time in their lives. We are seeing an increase in numbers attending services and for many the visit to Shannon Crematorium is their first time attending a cremation service. It is no surprise to us that many people say when leaving the chapel, how beautiful a service has been, or that they are now planning to be cremated when their time comes; or that their fears and misconceptions

of cremation have been cleared and many people comment on what a beautiful setting and facility we have. Shannon Crematorium can welcome services 7 days a week with no premiums or penalties charged for weekend or bank holiday services. All services can be live streamed by request of the family. For queries, contacts or bookings please contact us on 065 671 3088 or 087 176001 or by email at info@shannoncrematorium.com

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It’s not all about the deceased By Ben Whitworth, CFSP, Dip FD, LMBIFD, MBIE, MEAE, MNZEA

Ben is a Sales Consultant with The MazWell Group Ltd. His time is split between visiting customers across the UK and in the office where he assists with technical enquiries. An active funeral director and embalmer, Ben is an accredited Tutor of the British Institute of Embalmers and writes for several professional journals across the world.

have a good friend who runs a successful trade embalming service. Over the years we have worked together and I have offered support as and when I can. My friend will usually call me to embalm an infectious case from time to time as I have access to a really high spec prep room with designated changing and showering facilities and a jet powered ventilation system. On occasion they have asked me if I will help with a major reconstruction as I am not under the same time constraints as a busy trade embalmer running from location to location. The main point is that between us, we always try to help where we can and ensure the bereaved have a positive viewing experience. As I sat at my desk one day, the phone rang and it was my friend. “I’ve got a case here that I think you would like to embalm,” he said. “You mean, you have a case that you would like me to embalm,” I retorted! My friend went on to explain that he had in his care a 38-year-old male with cancer of the sinuses. The cancer had spread around his head and there were significant tumors in the right temporal region. There was a bloody growth protruding from the left nostril which was leaking and his neck was dramatically swollen. The body was significantly decomposed having waited eight days for embalming, owing to a delay in paperwork being completed. We agreed that I would visit the funeral home where the deceased was resting and see what could be done. After meeting with the funeral director looking after the funeral the following day, I was able to see the deceased. The condition of the body was poor with evidence of purging, gas build up, and a foul odor. The facial features

44 | FuneralTimes

of the deceased were disfigured owing to the cancerous growths as well as some swelling of the tissues due to medical intervention. For a successful outcome I would need to perform a waterless embalming, a resection of the tumors on the forehead, a surgical reduction of the neck, and an application of cosmetics. This was going to be a day’s work and something not covered by the standard embalming fee. I spoke to the funeral director to explain the situation and find out a little more about the funeral. The deceased had stipulated that they did not want a funeral! A party, yes, but no traditional funeral service. Acknowledging this, the funeral director had offered a direct cremation package when the arrangements were made. The family had selected this and then asked about viewing. They had been with the deceased till the end and all they could remember was the pain and suffering. Further, except for the immediate family, nobody knew that the deceased had been ill. The family wanted extended family members and friends to be able to come in and see him and say goodbye before the cremation took place. The funeral director had suggested that they would add the embalming fee and a fee for the use of the viewing room to the account and would accommodate this request. At this point, I should point out that the standard fee for embalming in the UK for a trade embalmer is somewhere around £95.00 ($130.00 USD) and that the embalmer brings with them the equipment and chemicals to perform the task. The family may pay slightly more to cover the costs of facilities, clinical waste disposal, etc, but we do not charge high fees for our service. Knowing how much the family wanted

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn. Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly. We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

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a viewing, I did a couple of quick calculations. As long as I could cover the costs of embalming chemicals and materials, I wasn’t worried about making a profit. I agreed on a fee of £150.00 ($205.00 USD). The funeral director decided that they would cover the additional costs and not add anything further to the family’s funeral account. There was more at stake here. It was time to get to work! In sharing this story, I feel that there are a few important points to make. Remember, the deceased wanted a party following his death. He did not want anyone to be burdened with a funeral. The family wanted to honour the deceased’s wishes but needed to confront the death and also remember their loved one without the pain and suffering they had witnessed prior to the death. The funeral director understood the wishes of the deceased and the needs of the family. They also believe in the benefits of a funeral service and the opportunity to see the deceased after embalming and preparation have taken place. Funeral service is changing for all sorts of reasons. We have people questioning the value of a traditional funeral on many different social media platforms. There are no end of horror stories and much more competition from providers of direct cremations urging people not to be a burden to their surviving next of kin and to avoid the high cost of funerals. How many people now say they don’t want to be a burden when they die? Where does the actual 46 | FuneralTimes

burden lie? Is it that the person is dying or is it the thought of arranging a meaningful funeral service? Is the funeral service going to help with coming to terms with the death and beginning to adapt to a new, normal way of life without the deceased? How many people regret not holding some sort of funeral service or viewing a deceased loved one after the fact? These situations raise many questions, and we as funeral service professionals have to work on answering them. We have to evolve and respond to changing times, but we also have to be advocates. We have to advocate for the deceased and we must also advocate for the bereaved. A bereaved family comes to us as the professionals in our respective community and seeks guidance. We charge for our guidance as part of our professional service fees. Without being pushy or bullying, we must stand up for what we believe in. I was recently asked my opinion of embalming while taking part in a funeral based podcast. My response was simple. I believe in it fully and know of no better way of ensuring the safekeeping and dignity of the deceased human body. I believe that it is an effective way of keeping and managing the deceased human body until final disposition, and that first and foremost when a family is engaging our services, they entrust us with the custody of that body. Now is not the time, but I would also argue that embalming is a green way of keeping the deceased human body until final disposition compared to other means.

The problem with embalming is that it is misunderstood and misrepresented and those who argue against it use highly emotive language to further their argument. I was once challenged by an author that if the public knew their loved one was stabbed, sliced, pumped, and sucked, that no one would opt for embalming. I responded that I had never done this. I used established techniques, scientifically developed chemicals, and surgical instruments to prepare a body for funeral services, and that the bereaved had taken comfort from the end result. Cavity aspiration and injection is possibly the most focused on aspect of the embalming process for those against it. Consider the idea that the human body is repeatedly stabbed to achieve the end goal. Let’s turn the whole process on its head. How else do we effectively treat the viscera? Do we eviscerate the body cavities, wash and disinfect the organs, and then return them to the cavities or do we use the less invasive, keyhole approach and treat all of the viscera and their contents using a medical instrument that has been adapted for embalming? Trocars are used for the harvesting of bone marrow, in emergency medical procedures, and in keyhole surgeries such as gall bladder surgery and other abdominal surgeries. As embalmers, we do only what is necessary to ensure the most positive outcome and positive results. Turning our attention back to the deceased person in this case, there was much work to do. I started by thoroughly disinfecting the body with Dis-Spray and then paid special attention to the eyes, nose, and mouth, swabbing with Dis-Spray and cotton until they were thoroughly cleaned and disinfected. The earlobes were positioned with a little cotton and Kalip Stay Cream and the mouth was closed using injector needles and a little Inr-Seel to ensure a pleasing closure. The eyes were closed using flesh colored, perforated eye caps and Kalip Cream and then the mass in the left nostril was removed using dissecting forceps. The face was coated with White Kalon Massage Cream for protection and both nostrils were lightly packed with cotton, before being saturated with some Basic Dryene. I wanted to selectively embalm the head before resecting the tumors on the right temporal region and reducing the neck and

so I needed to ensure the facial features were correctly posed before injecting a strong arterial solution. With the facial features cleaned and posed correctly, I mixed a strong arterial solution, consisting of 16 oz. Introfiant, 16 oz. Metasyn Firming, 16 oz. Proflow, 16 oz. Rectifiant and 8 oz. of Halt GX. Using a restricted cervical injection, I embalmed the head first, injecting with a pressure of 140psi, a rate of flow of 6 oz. per minute, and pulsation. The facial tissues received the fluid without swelling and firmed rapidly. When I was happy with the embalming of the head, I then embalmed the rest of the body, using a solution that contained 32 oz. of Introfiant, 32 oz. of Metasyn, 32 oz. each of Proflow and Rectifiant, and 24 oz. of Halt GX. Five quarts of cold water was added to this mixture to give a final index of just over 6%. The rest of the body was injected using the same pressure and a rate of flow of 20 oz. per minute with pulsation and intermittent drainage. Cavity aspiration was performed straight away and 32 oz. of Dri Cav injected between the abdominal and thoracic cavities. In male subjects, I always direct the trocar over the pelvis and into the scrotum to inject at least 1 oz. of cavity fluid to disinfect and preserve. I now started on the final restoration of the remains. I removed the cauterant packs in the nostrils and swabbed the nostrils clean and dry. Using a heavy compound injector, Inr-Seel was injected to close the nostrils. Turning my attention to the tumor on the right temporal region, I saw there had been previous surgical intervention, so I decided to cut along the original surgical scar. Making an incision that was large enough to work with, I was able to remove most of the tumor using a scalpel and forceps. When doing this kind of work, I like to resect a small amount at a time and constantly stop to evaluate the progress. When I had removed enough tissue, I packed the area with clean cotton and saturated this with Basic Dryene to dry and cauterize the tissue before suturing it closed. With the tissue dry and cauterized, I injected a little Inr-Seel with the heavy compound injector to allow me to shape the area and then sutured it closed using some Q-S Powder and a sub-dermal suture. When finished you could not see my incision, only the scar that had previously been there in the hair line. FuneralTimes | 47

Moving on to the neck, I made a U-shaped incision that ran from behind the ears, down both sides of the neck and met at the point of the sternoclavicular joint. Dissecting the tissues, a flap of skin was made and then I started to remove enough of the underlying tissues to reduce the neck and restore some of the original shape. When removing tissue in this way or resecting a growth or tumor, all tissue is placed into a sealable bag which I can place under the deceased for final disposition. I do not treat this tissue as clinical waste. Before sealing this bag, I added some Action Powder to ensure preservation and disinfection. I continued to dissect tissue from the neck, constantly checking to make sure I had not removed too much and then when I was happy with the result, I cauterized the area with Basic Dryene, applied Q-S Powder, and then some Inr-Seel to allow for final shaping once the U-shaped incision was sutured closed. The incision was closed using an intradermal or ‘worm’ suture as this will allow for any excess tissue to be taken up, without having to remove it. Once completed, I cleaned the suture line and then used Easy Way over the incision to hide it from view. Checking for any leaks first, the deceased was given a final bathing using Forest Fresh Soap and thoroughly dried. The deceased was then dressed, coffined, and prepared for cosmetic application. Depending on the case, I like to do most of the cosmetic work with the deceased in the coffin or casket and I also like to cosmetize under chapel lighting so that I can see the final result and make minimal changes. I have seen cases in the past where cosmetics were applied under the harsher florescent lights of the prep room and did not look right when the deceased was placed in the chapel. It was time to call the funeral director for a final check. They could not believe the end result and in turn called their colleagues who had seen the deceased pre-embalming and even the business owner. They were all very pleased and it was now time to see how the family would react. It was decided that the mother-in-law of the deceased would view first and then advise the family and friends on what to expect. She was due to view early the following day and I waited to hear about the outcome. I received 48 | FuneralTimes

a call from the funeral director to say that she was pleased with everything and that family and friends had come in and out of the funeral home all day to visit and pay their respects before the cremation took place. Relieved, I was happy to have been part of something so good. A little ‘out of the box’ thinking had given this family what they had needed, a chance to say goodbye. As I said earlier, we have to advocate for the deceased and the bereaved. We have to guide and we have to believe in what we do! The family in question could have been provided with a simple, direct cremation and, at the time, they may have been happy with it. The chances are that they may have selected this again in the future when the need occurred. Will they be so quick to choose a direct cremation now? I can’t answer that question. What I do know is that they will have a new found appreciation for their funeral director and the embalmer and the benefits of being able to view a deceased loved one. I applaud the funeral director in this case who did what they thought right for the family they were serving. They changed their approach and made something possible. I applaud my friend the trade embalmer who reached out for help, making sure of the best outcome possible for the family, and I am proud and honored to have been able to help. As professionals we face more and more challenges, but by coming together and helping each other, we can educate and inform about the importance of what we do and highlight the benefit and value of the funeral, one family at a time. If you would like to be added to the mailing list for the complementary Dodge Magazine which is printed quarterly or would like to discuss any of the products mentioned in this article, please contact us on the number below: Shepherds Funeral Supplies, Unit 2A Royal Canal Business Park, Athlone Road, Co. Longford. Ph. 00353 43 33 49702/00353 87 2486668

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Suicide figures review results in “downward revision” of numbers A

review of how suicides are recorded in Northern Ireland has resulted in a “downward revision” of the figures. The Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency worked with the Northern Ireland Coroner’s Service to look at how and when deaths are defined as suicide and re-assess a number of cases which were previously determined as being selfinflicted. As part of the review Coroner Joe McCrisken studied paperwork including postmortem results and police reports as well as toxicology reports to determine whether it was appropriate to define a death as a suicide. The review has determined

that a number of deaths previously recorded as having been self-inflicted were not in fact suicides.

The review has found that many of the deaths previously recorded as intentional were unintentional drugs related deaths. The review finding means that Northern Ireland has now moved from having the highest suicide rate in the UK to being second behind Scotland. The experts involved in the review pointed out that one intentional death is “one too many”. They found that previous trends still apply, though with slightly lower figures. Belfast Health Trust area still shows the highest rate of intentional deaths and those living in the most deprived areas are twice as likely to die by suicide as those in the most affluent areas.

County Tyrone welcomes death positive library J

ulian Fowler, South West Reporter for the BBC, recently covered the opening of a new library in Omagh, Co. Tyrone, seeing the market town embrace the death positive library initiative aiming to spark conversation and challenge attitudes around death and dying in Ireland. Compassionate Communities

50 | FuneralTimes

NI have worked with Omagh Library, Age Friendly Fermanagh, and Fermanagh and Omagh District Council in order to bring the idea to fruition. Sharon Williams, project lead, points out that the topics and themes featured are “applicable to all of us” and can therefore prove to be

a great resource. Sometimes considered a difficult, and frequently emotional, topic, the library provides its users with literary resources covering death, dying, and grief. Parallel events such as the Dying to Talk cafe also encourage discussion around the topic.

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For further information and to discuss how this course might work for you please contact us: 52 | FuneralTimes

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Continuing to grow - By Ian Fee -

Lakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan

f you’ve visited with us at Lakelands Crematorium in the past, or if you’re one of the many funeral directors who come to us regularly, you might notice a few changes to our appearance if you visit again over the coming weeks. We’re undergoing some work both inside and out that we hope will improve the experience of all those using our services. Along with that, we’ve added to our staff team as well so Lakelands continues to expand and respond to the growing demand for cremation services. We’ve seen a steady increase in cremations over the past 18 months and while some of this may be down to people needing to think outside of the traditional burial funeral, given the restrictions placed on us during covid lockdown, it also reflects a chosen move away from the traditional funeral for those who want the farewell to their loved one to more personal, uniquely shaped to reflect the unique life they’re remembering. One way in which this is reflected is in the music choices made for each service. If you choose a church or chapel for your funeral, you may be limited in the music you can have and even for those who

want hymns at their funeral Mass or service, the option is there when they come to us for cremation to have something more in tune with their own musical tastes and something that may be more meaningful to their loved ones. It’s not unusual (if you pardon the pun) to see people laughing along with the tears as they enter our service room, some even dancing to the music as they make their way to their seats. We’ve even had requests for the chairs in our main room to be moved back so that the mourners can take to the floor for the final song, one last dance in memory of someone special. In the course of a week here, we can go from Mozart and Beethoven to Roy Orbison and Johnny Cash (and, yes, I mean Ring of Fire), with The Beatles, Big Tom, Metallica and Daniel O’Donnell thrown in for good measure. Recently, we even had a recording of the deceased themselves singing a song. We played it as the curtains closed at the end of the service. The old man they were saying goodbye to literally got the last word. This is just one of the ways in which the farewell can be shaped into something very special, very intimate. It pops the question into our own minds: “what music would I like for my own funeral?”. In its own way, it gets us into thinking about our own funeral plans which can go a long way to helping our loved ones when the time comes as they’ll know that they’re playing our song when it’s time to say goodbye.

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Client Will search facility * Repatriation Helpline * -RXIV¾SVE QIQFIVWLMT TEGOEKI * Stationery solutions NAFD Energy Club NAFD Telecoms NAFD Legal Advisory Service Counselling helpline for staff/family Property Planning Advice Health & Safety advice PR Handbook and PR Helpline Merchant card services NAFD Fast Track Debt Recovery Service

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Discount on stand space if exhibiting at the biennial National Funeral Exhibition A listing in the overseas member search on the Association’s website Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly

For more information on any of these benefits you receive as a member of the NAFD, please call: 0121 711 1343 or email: su@nafd.org.uk P Na N tional al As Asso sociat soc iation iat ion off Fu Funer neral ner al Dir Direct ecttors @NA AFD F _UK K @NA @NAFDU @NAFDU FD K /"'% JT BO BQQPJOUFE SFQSFTFOUBUJWF PG 4&*# *OTVSBODF #SPLFST XIJDI JT BVUIPSJTFE BOE SFHVMBUFE CZ UIF 'JOBODJBM $POEVDU "VUIPSJUZ

NAFD News Congratulations to the NAFD’s President and Officer team for 2022-23!

t the end of May’s NAFD Conference 2022, held at Celtic Manor Resort in Wales, funeral director and NAFD tutor John Adams was installed as NAFD President for 2022-23 along with his Officer team, First Vice-President Barry Pritchard, Second Vice-President Mark Adams and Immediate Past President Kate Edwards. The traditional handover of the President’s chains marked the conclusion of a fantastic weekend of Association business, education and social events and outgoing President Kate Edwards concluded her year in office. Her banquet raised almost £3,000 for Ty Hafan children’s hospice. John Adams set out his determination to campaign for better bereavement education

Left to right: Mark Adams, Kate Edwards, John Adams and Barry Pritchard in schools during his year in office and commitment to supporting Child Bereavement UK, his chosen charity.

Final few places available for NAFD Summer School Monday 11 – Wednesday 13 July 2022 St Chad’s College Durham University The NAFD’s second, three-day residential Summer School at St Chad’s College, Durham University, hosted by the renowned anthropologist and theologian Professor Douglas Davies, is designed to support professional development and inspire bluesky thinking about the future of the funeral sector. This year’s event will build on the themes of ritual, bereavement and the future of funerals - with topics including, poetry, grief and remembrance, changes in funeral practice and alternative forms of disposal, including resomation.

Chair of the Board of Education, Past President Alison Crake said: “Summer School in 2021 offered those of us who attended a rare opportunity to focus on issues of real importance to the future of the funeral profession and to the families we care for. It’s a fantastic opportunity for leaders and aspiring leaders to focus on their professional development.” Only a handful of places remain. Visit www. nafdeducation.org.uk and visit the Education & Training page for more information and details of how to book. FuneralTimes | 57

NAFD launches LGBTQ+ Pride Facebook group T

he NAFD has a long-standing commitment to inclusivity, recognising over many decades that diversity is a strength. NAFD seeks to support all of its members, acknowledging the wide variety within the funeral sector, but recognises the need to do more to ensure that the NAFD, as the largest sector trade body, are truly inclusive and representative of the sector we serve. In 2020 the NAFD launched an Equality and Diversity Initiative, with a working group that brings together member businesses, both big and small, to talk openly about their experiences of promoting equality and inclusivity in the workplace and discussing barriers to NAFD membership and engagement. Looking to 2023 and beyond, the NAFD remains committed to working with members to support their efforts to be more inclusive and support diversity by creating guidance and educational materials, hosting useful, accessible events, and profiling sector role models. The hope is that, through this work, members of all business type and size will be able to access the resources and information they need to create truly inclusive workplaces for employees that deliver outstanding services for clients. NAFD Pride was born out of a desire for better representation from funeral service workers who identify as LGBTQ+. Funeral directors, embalmers, students, and others have told the NAFD that they do not feel as visible and included as they would like to be, and that better

58 | FuneralTimes

representation from the sector trade bodies is needed. Rachel Bradburne, who is leading the initiative, said: “The NAFD has heard that call loud and clear and we want to lead that work. We want the whole sector to feel included, visible and to feel confident that their voices can and will be heard. To support our understanding of the need, from both individuals and businesses, we will set up and manage activities and groups that facilitate information sharing and grow awareness. “We have launched a Facebook group and we hope to conduct member research in the coming months to establish how we can best support our members, to create truly inclusive workplaces for their employees and to meet and exceed the need of all their clients.” The group was created in partnership with Nathan Martin, of Viner & Sons, who brought the idea to the NAFD. Nathan said: “Having been in the funeral profession for over 25 years, I have seen the varying attitudes towards minority groups change and even experienced discrimination myself. “Despite a more positive attitude towards those groups, there is still a need for us to have a safe space where we can be ourselves, regardless of whether we are openly LGBTQ+ within the companies where we work. I was thrilled that the NAFD gave me the opportunity to present my idea for this group to them and, as such, received overwhelming support from the association to move forward together as part of the EDI plan.

“Our group will be a place to be around likeminded individuals. We can support each other in a profession with which we can all relate and I would hope that, in time, the group will grow to become a

major influence within the sector, widely recognised for our contribution to equality, diversity and inclusion.” To join the Facebook group, visit www. facebook.com/groups/nafdpride

The National Association of Funeral Directors secures Investors in People accreditation Investors in People (IiP) has awarded the National Association of Funeral Directors the We invest in people standard accreditation. The accreditation recognises that the NAFD’s principles and practices around supporting people are in place and that everyone understands how to use them to make work better. Investors in People is an international recognised organisation which believes that the success of any organisation begins and ends with its people. Founded in 1991 as a government project to make work better, Investors in People is a community interest company which accredits organisations for meeting its We invest in our people framework. – which rates the working experience against a range of criteria including values, leadership, empowerment and recognition. Today, seven million people are working in organisations accredited by Investors in People. The assessment considers the organisation’s achievement against a framework, refined over three decades, that measures performance and the process includes direct feedback from employees. In its report, Investors in People noted: • 93% of staff said the NAFD is a great place to work and 85% of its people believe the NAFD makes a positive impact on society • The National Office team talked about a caring and supportive environment, and said that they are committed to helping the NAFD achieve its ambitions. • That everyone can feel a change in emphasis, to focus on members and their needs • The National Office team are proud of how

responsive and agile they were in responding to the Competition and Marketing Authority’s findings and in setting up the Independent Funeral Standards Organisation • IiP noted staff pride in improvements to the education programme as it grows from three courses to a range of learning activities to help people succeed Paul Devoy, CEO of Investors in People, said: “We’d like to congratulate the NAFD. Being accredited with We invest in people is a remarkable effort for any organisation, and places the NAFD in fine company with a host of organisations that understand the value of people.” Reflecting on the accreditation, NAFD Chief Executive Jon Levett added: “I am delighted that the NAFD has secured the valuable Investors in People accreditation, after a gap of many years. “While we still have much work to do to ensure we are delivering an outstanding working environment in every aspect of how the NAFD supports, develops and recognises the achievements of its people, this is an important milestone. For the NAFD to be able to deliver for its members, it must first deliver for its staff – who are the assets that make NAFD membership so valuable. The team works incredibly hard and recognition like this, and the recent Trade Association of the Year award, demonstrate that we are heading in the right direction. “I would like to thank Director of Education and Development, Karen Van-Richardson, for leading this project and for the enthusiasm and willing participation of the whole NAFD team in helping us achieve the accreditation.” FuneralTimes | 59

CMA addresses NAFD Northern Ireland members on compliance with Funerals Market Order

t the recent NAFD Northern Ireland Annual General Meeting Dipesh Shah, from the Competitions and Markets Authority, updated attendees on compliance with and enforcement of the Funerals Market Order, via video Q&A, which has subsequently been made available to all members in Northern Ireland. During the meeting, Stephen Larkin, from Melville and Co, Belfast, was installed as the new NAFD Northern Ireland The AGM was attended by Kate Edwards as one of her final formal roles President. Stephen, who has as NAFD National President 2021-22, she is pictured here congratulating sat on the Executive for a Stephen number of years, took over from Sandra Whiteside, who had held the post for the two previous years. Emma Moore, from Funeral Partners, was voted onto the Executive; all other members remained. Ryan Stevenson will continue as Secretary, Andrew McMullan as Treasurer and William Millar as Public Relations Officer. William will also continue to be the Northern Ireland representative on the national board.

NAFD works to resolve mortuary capacity issues in Scotland The NAFD continues to work to facilitate solutions to the ongoing capacity issues at mortuaries in Edinburgh and Glasgow. Meetings have taken place with the NHS and City of Edinburgh Council and NAFD members in Edinburgh, and solutions are being sought. The working group for the Scottish Government’s licensing working group met in May, with the main news that the licensing regulations will be in place for the end of 60 | FuneralTimes

2023. There were calls from some on the group for embalming to be regulated. Other topics discussed included what the regime would look like, talks around interim licensing before full licensing, the pros and cons of announced versus unannounced inspections, how to capture all businesses that fall under the licensing scheme, sanctions, fees and fines. No final decisions will be made until the end of the working groups, which is due to be in August 2022.

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“Best show ever!” More than 4,500 pass through the doors at Stoneleigh as the National Funeral Exhibition returns Over three sunny days at Stoneleigh in June, the funeral profession came together to do business, explore new ideas, create partnerships and spend time with colleagues as friends as the 2022 National Funeral Exhibition opened its doors. Over the course of three days, more than 4,500 people came through the doors of the show, with visitors from Europe, the US, New Zealand and South America joining UK funeral professionals from all four home nations for the event. There were seminar sessions running in both the lecture and product showcase theatres and 62 | FuneralTimes

demonstrations happening on stands across both halls. A debate organised by the Deceased Management Advisory Group on lessons learned from the pandemic, included insight into the experience of the US funeral profession and discussion on how to preserve the strong working relationship built with Government and what the funeral profession needs to be able to successfully deliver its frontline role in future major incidents or national emergencies. The brand new NFE Dining Club offered exhibitors and visitors a chance to enjoy the sunshine as they took a break from the show

floor for coffee and lunch – and the highly enjoyable exhibitors reception on Friday was packed to the rafters as people caught up with friends, swapped pandemic experiences and compared notes on their first day of the show. NAFD President John Adams, who made it his mission to spend time on all 188 stands during the course of the show, said: “What an amazing weekend. A huge thank you to all NAFD members that attended the event. It was great to meet so many funeral directors and especially those attending for the first time. It was also interesting to meet people who were

not connected to the industry and see how surprised they were with how warm and friendly the industry is. “The feedback I received all weekend, on my travels around the show, was so positive and all exhibitors found it hugely successful. I would like to thank NAFD Events Operations Manager Jane Lawrence and the whole NAFD team for their hard work. Everyone associated with the NAFD should be so proud of what was achieved. I certainly am.” Within 24 hours of the show closing, more than half of all exhibitors had already signed up for the 2024 show. FuneralTimes | 63

The Dead House Given your profession, dear reader, I have a message for you. I recently attended The Dead House. It is a full-length one-man monologue play written and performed by Martin (“Beanz”) Warde a gay Traveller. The play tells the story of a man who returns home for the wake and funeral of his grandmother (one of the “elders.”) He had been alienated from his family because he didn’t fit in with their traditions. On the day of the wake, stories from the family’s past which had been buried for years re-surfaced and brought with them memories of trauma, loss and despair. It covers all aspects of the tradition on which the play is expertly based. The narrator is “Patrick”. Such an effect did the play have on me that I wondered if it was autobiographical. There was only one person to ask. Martin told me, “I researched the play through speaking to my parents and Traveller elders. It’s not autobiographical but there are bits of real life thrown in. I think the truest part of the play is that Patrick, like myself, is gay. We both feel a disconnect from the culture but Patrick has the added issue of being emotionally traumatized, which makes reconnecting more difficult.” There is no mystery about the actor/ playwright’s middle-name, “The name “Beanz” was just a childhood nickname. No one got

By Mattie Lennon

out of a council estate as an adult without a nickname.” This is a brilliant work and yet you may be wondering if there is a laugh in it. Well, you won’t be disappointed. Don’t forget that it is written and performed by the man who once said, “I don’t know which was tougher, coming out as gay or as a comedian.” Having been riveted to my seat for the performance and the intelligent and informative answers at the Q and A session I felt that the words of Stella Adler couldn’t be more appropriate, “The theatre was created to tell people the truth about life and the social situation.” When The Dead House comes to a theatre near you don’t miss it.

Just for giggles It was a cold night and a man missed the last number 40 bus to Finglas. It was a long walk home and he took a shortcut through Glasnevin Cemetery He was a bit scared to take this shortcut but gathered all his courage and thought that in the daytime many people take this shortcut so why not at night. There was no one along the walk but when I reached the middle of the graveyard he saw a man sitting on the grave all alone and was surprised at first but then with some courage asked him, “Hey I was so scared to pass through this graveyard at night and you’re sitting here all alone, aren’t you scared?” The man replied: “Scared? Why? It was hot inside the grave and so I came out and sat down.” 64 | FuneralTimes

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Dealing with the death of a child I

have to talk about something this issue that has been in the news for the last 3 decades but sadly is more prevalent than ever and is ever more apparent today in the US. It was also a subject that arose at the NFDA Women’s Conference in Miami this year. Child death. In the wake of the heartbreakingly devastating events in Uvalde, Texas, which took the lives of 19 children and two adults and allegedly another life in the form of a partner of one of the teachers due to heart attack/grief, we need, more than ever, to serve this type of family, as devastating as it is to do so. I personally know of funeral directors who cannot physically deal with the death of a child. When a family of this tragedy comes in, he cannot cope with it. It resonates too deep and this is exactly why funeral directors around the world should be respected and more, for the emotional suffering they must endure in order to serve their families. The Funeral Service Foundation, in partnership with the Collaborative of National Paediatric Palliative Care Coalitions, recently created a resource entitled When a Child Dies: Planning Acts of Love & Legacy for bereaved families. The booklet offers guidance and inspiration to help these families who experience the death of their child say goodbye in a way that is meaningful and important to their path forward. “We recognized a need in the grief space to help families plan a meaningful and healing goodbye when a child dies, which led us to apply for funding from the Funeral Service Foundation,” said Kristin James and Betsy Hawley, executive directors of the Greater Illinois Paediatric Palliative Care Coalition

and the Paediatric Palliative Care Coalition, respectively. Dozens of bereaved parents, along with healthcare and bereavement professionals, offered their expertise in creating this piece, which is available at FuneralServiceFoundation. org at no charge to all who those who walk alongside grieving families, so that’s you. The resource offers guidance for families, including why funerals and memorialization are important steps in moving forward; entrusting their child’s body to the care of a funeral director; what to expect when meeting with a funeral director; determining a final resting place; connecting with family and community; talking to children about death and dying; and preparing families for funeral attendance. The guide also offers memorialization ideas from bereaved parents, and those who walk alongside grieving families, and gives suggestions for building acts of legacy and love in the days, weeks, months, and years after a child’s funeral. “There is no magic wand to take away a parent’s heartache when a child dies,” said Hawley and James. “We are hopeful that this resource will bring some comfort to families and let them know that they are not alone.” At the Women’s conference in Miami, it was a hot topic. I loved (and cried) hearing the incredible stories of how funeral directors and funeral homes, did and did not deal well when they were faced with a child death. What was apparent and clear, was we NEED a plan, end of story. Sadly, it happens too often and can be the most traumatic of all losses and should we, as a community, deal with it poorly, it forever marks us in the minds of the parent figures. FuneralTimes | 69

Join the association that’s leading the way.

Representing and promoting the interests of over 1,500 funeral homes. SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you.

As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment. For over 30 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726777

Saif News Saif News SAIF Belfast Education Sessions 14th May, Europa Hotel, Belfast

Attendees of the SAIF Funeral Education Sessions

n a first for Northern Ireland, SAIF held the Funeral Education Sessions on the 14th of May at the Europa Hotel in Belfast. The event was open to all members of the profession in Northern Ireland and even attracted attendance from members in Wales and Scotland. The event brought together speakers addressing regulation, digital marketing and embalming but the key focus of the day was the mental health of the profession. SAIF President Jo Parker opened the session with a passionate speech on her nominated charity Papyrus, a youth suicide prevention organisation. Terry Tennens led the morning session with an update on the progress of regulation of the funeral profession in the UK. Terry shared SAIF’s position on co-regulation and detailed the journey ahead. BIE Past President Barbara Fowley was joined by BIE Northern Ireland Secretary Liam Boyle for an enlightening Embalming Q&A that covered reconstruction, issues with repatriation and technique. A key point from the session was Barbara’s perception of the role of the embalmer. “I see

the role of the funeral director being the voice of the family, the embalmer as the voice of the deceased.” The late morning sessions were dominated by the focus on mental health with Catherine Bentley of Professional Help discussing SAIF Support. Angela Maguire of De Exeter House addressing addiction in the workplace and Shane Kenny on psychological safety in the workplace.

Saif News Saif News The afternoon began with a brief presentation on humanist funerals followed by a lively and informative session on Funeral Plan regulation hosted by Declan Maguire. Funeral plan representatives Karen Trickett from Golden Charter and Helen Guyan from Ecclesiastical Planning Services worked through a series of questions that covered the security of funeral plans and a view of the funeral plan market in the years to come. Professor Heather Conway of Queen’s University, Belfast delivered an energetic and engaging presentation ‘The legal

right to organise a funeral’ before the sessions were brought to a close by Declan Maguire and Karen Trickett introducing SAIF Digital, a groundbreaking Digital Marketing programme specifically tailored for SAIF funeral directors. Attendees were encouraged to visit www. saifdigital.co.uk to register for a free digital audit and take advantage of the specialist support services on offer. The day concluded with a presentation of CPD certificates followed by dinner and drinks in the famous Europa Piano bar.

If you would like more information about joining SAIF and being able to access benefits including Professional Indemnity Insurance, please don’t hesitate to contact the SAIF Business Centre; we are only a phone call away and will be happy to help.

Tel: 0345 230 6777 or visit SAIF.org.uk

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Grief: Officially a Mental Health Disorder By Dr Bill Webster

s of March 2022, grief is now officially recognized as a mental health disorder, and not everyone is happy about it. “Prolonged grief disorder” (PGD) is the newest disorder to be added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), a handbook published by the American Psychiatric Association that defines and classifies mental disorders. Researchers have made a convincing case that prolonged grief is a disorder distinct from the normal grieving process. But there are still disagreements in the field in several areas, such as the diagnostic criteria for the disorder, the point at which normal grieving becomes a disorder’ and even what to call it. Over several decades, Holly Prigerson, PhD, and colleagues have demonstrated that bereavement-related depression was different from what was termed “complicated grief” ( The American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 152, No. 1, 1995). Some researchers still use that name, though “persistent grief” and “prolonged grief” have emerged as the favoured terms. Seeking a compromise between these definitions of complicated and prolonged grief, DSM5 created yet another condition: persistent complex bereavement disorder. In 2009, eminent British psychiatrist and author Dr. Colin Murray Parkes and Dr. Prigerson collaborated in a book entitled “Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life”, (Fourth Edition) in which they proposed a set of criteria for prolonged grief disorder. Those criteria differed somewhat from previous definitions of complicated grief and described the primary experience of yearning, as well as several other symptoms: feeling emotionally numb, stunned or that life is meaningless; experiencing mistrust;

74 | FuneralTimes

bitterness over the loss; difficulty accepting the loss; identity confusion; avoidance of the reality of the loss; and difficulty moving on with life. In prolonged grief disorder, the bereaved individual may experience intense longings for the deceased; preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased; or in children and adolescents, with the circumstances around the death. These grief reactions occur most of the day, nearly every day for at least a month. The individual experiences clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. In cases of prolonged grief disorder, the duration of the person’s bereavement exceeds expected social, cultural or religious norms and the symptoms are not better explained by another mental disorder. The diagnosis set 12 months as the threshold after which normal grief may become disordered. The World Health Organization describes prolonged grief disorder as “persistent and pervasive longing for, or preoccupation with, the deceased that lasts at least six months after loss. In addition, people with the disorder often experience intense emotional pain (such as sadness, guilt or anger), difficulty accepting the death, emotional numbness, a feeling that part of them has been lost, an inability to experience positive mood and difficulty engaging in social activities.” But there are others, including myself, who would say, in non-clinical terms, “Six Months? Twelve months? … Are you kidding me?” How in that time-frame do we distinguish between the symptoms of what we would call the “normal” grief process, and these more complicated symptoms which move grief into the category of “a disorder”.

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Let me say quite clearly that I do agree we are seeing an increase in symptoms of PGD, and that requires specialized treatment. Painful experiences alter the way people see themselves and their own identity. Most commonly PGD is diagnosed among people who have lost a child or a romantic partner and is more likely to occur after sudden or violent deaths, such as deaths by homicide, suicide or accident. However, many researchers and practitioners take issue with the cut-off point of 6 or 12 months. There is no timeline for how long grief lasts, or how you should feel after a particular time. After 12 months it may still feel as if everything happened yesterday, or it may feel like it all happened a lifetime ago. These are some of the feelings you might have when you are coping with grief longer-term, but at what point should they be designated as pathological or as a “disorder”? Most would agree that there is a reward in every behaviour and a reason for every reaction. I am convinced that if we understand the “Why”, the “How” will fall into place. Holly Prigerson

herself says, “In many respects, prolonged grief is more like an addiction. There is a reward that people feel that is related to wanting to maintain a connection with someone they love and who made them feel safe and secure.” Dr. Robert Neimeyer, professor of psychology at the University of Memphis, and editor of the Journal of Death Studies observes that successful treatment is possible: “There are some very useful, practical things that we can do alongside the bereaved that can make a huge difference in whether or not they remain stuck in an endless grieving, or whether they are able to move forward.” In this article I have quoted many experts, researchers and practitioners in the field, all of whom I hold in high respect, even though I may not necessarily agree with all the findings. In my next article, I would like to present my own and other views about what we can all do to prevent bereaved getting stuck in prolonged grieving, and helping them in reconstructing their lives and moving forward. And here’s a surprise. It doesn’t have to be rocket science.

First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process . He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process. This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life. First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is avaialble to buy on Amazon. 76 | FuneralTimes

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Kidney Research Fund meet the crowds at Balmoral Show Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund has had a busy few months. The 153rd Balmoral Show was held in May and attracted over 100,000 visitors and NIKRF were active throughout raising awareness for their vital research into kidney disease. At the time of going to press the team are preparing for the Waringstown Vintage Cavalcade on 24th June, where once again the funeral industry will be lending their support by turning up in a wide range of vintage funeral vehicles and helping to raise funds. NIKRF is a totally voluntary run charity and receives no government funding.

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Funeral Times issue 3 / 2022

Articles inside

Dr Bill Webster on Grief: Officially a mental health disorder

Ben Whitworth tells us that it’s not all about the deceased

James Brown launches Community Fund

Dealing with the death of a child by Jennifer Muldowney

A review of NFE 2022

NAFD News

BIE News

SAIF News

Changes to Roselawn operating procedures