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FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
www.PenobscotMarineMuseum.org
Penobscot Marine Museum brings history to life! Visit our campus and experience a 19th century village on the gorgeous coast of Maine. The Penobscot Marine Museum campus of ten historic buildings is open from late May through late October. May 25 through October 26 come see For Those in Peril: Shipwrecks, Memorials and Rescues. (DVW 0DLQ 6WUHHW 6HDUVSRUW 0DLQH ‡
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BIZ
by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK
by MARK PARISI
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CAPTION CONTEST
Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Greg Bingham, who submitted the following caption to last issue’s contest: “Hey, Pal! This river is closed to fly fishing.” Send your best caption to this week’s contest to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited.
2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
BC
by MASTROIANNI AND HART
Country Styles FAMILY HAIR CARE 161 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks
207.722.3551
TUNDRA
by CHAD CARPENTER
FACT OR FICTION?
*Every day 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die on average. *Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until the child is 2-6 years of age. *Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into “go hang yourself.” EEK!
by SCOTT NICKEL
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print & digital design Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation
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VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3
by TIM THOMSON
HARA KIWI
by LECTRR
© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by BRIAN MARTIN STRANGER THINGS
© 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
IMAGINE THAT
Enjoy clean and hilarious standup comedy and music for all ages from standup comedian Chris Quimby.
Answers from last issue’s Sudoku
VARNEY MEMORIAL BUILDING Route 7, Downtown Brooks, Brooks, ME March 30, 2013, 7:00pm
WABI-TV5 April 6, 2013, 11:30pm
LIGHTHOUSE CHRISTIAN CAFE 453 Wilson Street, Brewer, ME April 13, 2013, 7:00pm
GRACE BIBLE CHURCH ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only
THE NITE SHOW with DANNY CASHMAN
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40 Douty Hill Road, Sangerville, ME April 20, 2013, 7:00pm
FAIR HAVEN CAMPS
81 West Fair Haven Lane, Brooks, ME April 27, 2013, 7:00pm
spokesandjokes.com 207.557.3251
by TOM GAMMILL
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
THE DOOZIES
M AR oth IN E e 5Krs’ D R ay
Start/End at Oceanside East HS Rockland Pre-registration avail. on Active.com or download form online
MarinerMothersDay5k
OHSAllSportsBoosters.info | OHSAllSportsBoosters@gmail.com
*The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air. *The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. by DANIEL COLLINS
© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FUNNY PAPER
FACT OR FICTION?
Now Booking for 2013
The sky's the limit and we will help you make some History, at Fort Knox and the Observatory.
by RON THERIEN
© 2011 Ron Therein / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AGAINST THE GRAIN
PLANNING A WEDDING, PARTY, REUNION OR CORPORATE EVENT?
PHONE 207-469-6553, EMAIL FOFK1@AOL.COM WEB SITE: FORTKNOX.MAINEGUIDE.COM
218 Congress St., Belfast, Maine 04915 | www.prayshomes.com
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FRANK AND STEINWAY
VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5
FAIR HAVEN CAMPS 81 W. Fair Haven Lane, Brooks, ME 04921 register@fairhavencamps.org (207)722-3456
WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE
National Parks
Men ages 18+ are invited to join us for a weekend of food, competitions, and fellowship. We encourage fathers to bring their sons aged 13+.
Friday, May 3 at 6:00pm through Saturday, May 4 at 5:00pm MUSIC PERFORMED BY: City on a Hill Guest Speaker: Author, Speaker, & Professor, Buddy Davis from Answers in Genesis.
Š2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FUNNIES EXTRA IS PRINTED IN MAINE, KEEPING MONEY IN THE STATE CRANKY GIRL
by CRYSTAL JONES 143 High Street, Belfast, ME 04915
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by BRIDGETT SPICER Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
SQUID ROW
6 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
JUDY BROSSMER
judybrossmer@tcreal.com 207.338.3500 x121 (office) ( ffi ) 207.322.3392 (mobile) ( b 207.338.0192 (fax) 800.860.0528 (toll free)
FUTURE SHOCK
Garden DINGERS
by JIM & PAT McGREAL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.
by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH
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ADVERTISER SPOTLIGHT: KSW Federal Credit Union Location: 135 Waldo Ave., Belfast | kswfcu.org Q. Tell me a short history of KSW. A. KSW started when some mill workers in Waterville wanted to put their assets together to create a Credit Union for their place of work back in 1954. This took off so well that they had to get a bigger place. The growth continued with some challenges, and a Belfast office was added in 1994 when KSW (then known as Keyes Fiber) was invited to take over a credit union formed by the poultry workers. In 2001, a merge with Keso Federal Credit Union brought a name change to KSW. In 2011 membership was offered to more Waldo county towns and the bank is continuing to grow.
Q. What does the letters KSW stand for? A. Kennebec, Somerset, and Waldo counties. These are the counties where the bank’s business comes from. Q. What is the weirdest item or product that you offer here? A. “Fashion Friends Magnetic Dress N Play” This is one of the many gifts that a child 12 or under could pick from the rewards of their Monty Moose account.
VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 7
WIZARD OF ID
by PARKER & MASTROIANNI & HART
TAKE SOME TIME TO VISIT THE TOWN OF SEARSPORT!
FREE CAMPIN by RICK HOTTON
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HOLY MOLÉ
MAY 1 Contact us at (2 www.Searspo for more in
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by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI
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HALF BAKED Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
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by RICK ELLIS
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by BRIAN CRANE
VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9
A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby
Have Funny, Will Travel by Chris Quimby You might have read back in October of last year that I was planning a crazy adventure. Beginning on April 28, I will push myself into a pair of Spandex shorts and cycle to Texas. I will also be wearing a shirt. Why, you ask? Well, in the past couple of years I started asking myself deeper questions about who I was, what my purpose might be and whether my life was set up in such a way that facilitates or frustrates what my intentions for life are. I am a believer, also, that each person is uniquely created by God to love and serve Him and others, but in manners largely consistent with their giftings, opportunities and desires. When I looked at my life, I saw the results of a combination of fear and conformity. Without an understanding of who I was and what I should be doing, I settled for finding a comfortable job so I could get a paycheck so I could pay my bills so I could continue existing long enough to continue getting a paycheck and paying my bills. The people to whom I pay my bills were in favor of the trajectory of my life. But I felt like a change was necessary. I left my full-time job of eleven years with no idea what to do next. I would not recommend this. However, the next difficult year forced me to think way deeper than I had to before. A weekly paycheck with benefits is a huge blessing, but one of-
tentimes cashes in something greater for the perceived security of something predictable. So, I considered that I want to inspire others, to see people look beyond stale religion to a deeper, more eventful and real relationship with God, whether or not they currently have or want one. I want to meet and build relationships with other people. I enjoyed biking. I wanted to stop living in fear of failure. I wanted to do more with what I had at my disposal. I didn’t have a full-time job, so I didn’t have to be anywhere. I was able to do standup comedy, so I had a way to make money on the road. I have a supportive wife who trusts my judgment. I have two children who are homeschooled, so we have flexibility with where and how we educate them. So, the plan, after a few modifications and one episode last December where we abandoned it altogether, is to leave at the end of this month and bike about 60 miles per day, 5 days per week for 8 weeks until we reach Rockwall, Texas. I have a friend who lives there whose encouragement was a huge catalyst for me to decide to take
a more active attempt in creating a healthy context for the next season of my life. I will mostly be staying with strangers along the way, friends and/or family of friends and/or family or families whose hospitality I’ve become aware of by social networking. They will provide us lodging and good company. We will make a lot of friends across the country. What’s been inspiring to me is the c o n f i r m at i o n of my theory upon the genesis of this idea that people would r a l l y around the ridiculousness of this plan to assist in its formation. Believe me, I am far from being financially wealthy enough to consider this mission. It’s happening because of the thousands of dollars that have been donated at my comedy shows over the last few months, stand-alone donations, lendings of a friend’s van, voluntary efforts by complete strangers to house me and book gigs for me, prayers of close friends, a purchase of a GPS as a gift. The list is even longer than that. It’s been amazing. So now all I have to do is bike over 2000 miles. No sweat.
207.557.3251 | nachotree.com 10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
Swanville, ME (207)338-4586 www.mooressepticinc.com Or, perhaps that’s not correct. There will be plenty of sweat and, unfortunately, probably a lot of dogs who will chase me around the country, looking at me as if I we re a juicy bike-riding steak. A juicy, sweaty steak. Funnies Extra will still be around. The beauty of what we do is that we can still put it together on the road. Thanks to technology, and for good or bad, there are a lot of things one can do with a laptop and an internet connection. Heather and our new salespeople, Jessica and Chris, have done a great job preparing us with support so we can still offer laughs and smiles to the area during our brief absence. Thank you for reading and supporting Funnies Extra and, by extension, my family. We really enjoy offering this unique publication to the area and are excited to see it grow. If you wish to join me in a farewell performance the night before I head out on my adventure, please be at Camp Fair Haven at the West Lodge at 81 West Fair Haven Lane on Saturday, April 27 at 7:00pm. Even with a GPS, it’s almost an impossible place to find, but once you get there you’ll have a good time. Admission is free, but I welcome any donations that can help me with needs while we are traveling. I’ll be sharing a lot about how this trip has come together (in addition to the blogs I’ve already been posting on www.spokesandjokes.com). I’ll also share some of my song parodies, which people tend to laugh at. It’ll be a good time. We hope to see you there.
design l a t i g i d & t prin
© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Professional Repair iPhone | iPod | iPad
Repair/Troubleshooting Virus/Spyware Removal Software Installation Hardware Installation Wireless/Wired Networking Training/Tutoring System Upgrades/Updates Data Backup Data Recovery Remote Support
More experience. Less expensive.
cdcomputerroom.com
207.217.2534
| chris@cdcomputerroom.com
FACT OR FICTION?
*The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting. *Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death. *It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body. HOXWINDER HALL
“sweetheart, i’m so proud of you. you’ve made a complete fool of yourself.”
by DANIEL BORIS
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VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11
CRIME-QUIZ
by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN
THIN LINES
by Randy Glasbergen
© 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
THE
OTHER PLACE 368 Augusta Rd, Belmont 342-5872
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12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
WELCOME SPRING! Potting soils, cedar mulches, & peat moss in stock Rubber boots for mud season in stock Lots of new merchandise arriving almost daily Single roll toilet tissue - 59¢ each or 2 for $1 Minute instant white rice - 14 oz for $1 Gift Certificates & Layaway Always Available Open Mon-Sat 9:30 - 5; Sun 9:30-4 6 miles from Belfast
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LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS
And get an early bird discount!
thompsonsoil.com 207.342.4040 1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine
Tastes LikeBYChicken JOSH ALVES
©2012 Josh Alves
www.faceb k.com/tasteslikechickencomic
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Sheila Anderson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Grilled cheese.
For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13
HOLLYWEIRD
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Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type â&#x20AC;&#x153;Spotlightâ&#x20AC;? in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited)
MARK SIMON Producer/Director/Cartoonist Mark Simon is 25-year film & TV veteran amassing over 3,000 production credits including animation producer on Larry the Cable Guyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s latest movie, Tooth Fairy 2. His storyboard and animation companies, www.Storyboards-East.com, have included clients such as Disney, Universal, Viacom, Sony, HBO, Nickelodeon, FOX, Steven Spielberg, USA Networks, ABC Television and many others. His experience selling original TV series le d to his founding www. SellYourTvConceptNow.com to mentor other creators. He is also the author of ten popular industry texts, and lectures around the world at major conferences, entertainment trade schools and universities.
POCKET LINT
by CHUCK DOWNS
Haikus amuse me But sometimes can confuse me Refrigerator I always find random things in my pockets at the end of the day: paper clips, gum wrappers, dry cleaning receipts and the ever-present lint. These drawings are whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s left in my head when the day is done: the random â&#x20AC;&#x153;pocket lintâ&#x20AC;? of my brain.
COLBURN SHOE STORE | 338 338.1934 Downtown Belfast | Open Every Day! | Downtown Belfast www.ColburnShoe.com | Like us on Facebook eboo
CHUCK DOWNS Cartoonist
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14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
Chuck Downs is a carbon-based form of cartoonist who lives in Florida with his wife and two children. By day, he is vice president of marketing for a company that clearly does not conduct very thorough background checks. By night, he fights crime. Now that he is older, his experience only walks the gamut for fear of pulling a hamstring. He often â&#x20AC;&#x153;misusesâ&#x20AC;? quotation marks, and likes to frequently split his infinitives.
The Weekly Crossword 1
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ACROSS 1 Madonna, e.g. 8 Canopy support 15 Oblivious 16 On the way 17 Cassette collection 18 Porky Pig's problem, when speaking 19 Calligraphy tool 20 Goblet feature 21 Lots of fun, slangily 22 Word after general or independent 26 Went on horseback 27 Commando weapon 28 Put in new cable 30 Beethoven's birthplace 32 Kennel youngster 33 Vocal quality 37 Reveled in 39 Blast furnace output 40 Make numb 41 Public transport 42 Hefty horn 43 Catch in a sting 45 Nervous twitch 46 Quartet member 49 Workplace trouble, sometimes 53 Long, long ____ 54 They're sometimes connected 55 Dove sound 56 Box office success 58 Courtroom figure
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by Margie E. Burke
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Copyright 2012 by The Puzzle Syndicate
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3, to 1/3 Spartan Traveling trunk Oven setting
DOWN 1 To ___ it mildly... 2 Stop ___ dime 3 Soft food 4 Used a broom 5 Police weapon 6 Athletic venue 7 Abbr. in some military titles 8 Grant 9 Intestinal inflammation 10 Snare or tom-tom 11 Poker prize 12 Income's opposite 13 Home follower 14 To the point 20 Ballroom move 22 Raised to the third power 23 Atmospheric layer 24 Japanese mercenary 25 Icky buildup
26 29 31 32 34 35 36 38 39 41 44 46 47 48 50 51 52 54 57 58 59 60 61
Send payment 18-wheeler Junction points Ritzy digs Big bully Funnyman Williams Pass into law Kyoto cash Insect stage Watering holes Pest-catching pooch Fundamental principle Insurance broker Complete a crossword Use an S.O.S. pad Drunkard Calendar unit Campus quarters Actress Thompson Commencement wear I told you so! Baseball stat Allow
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www.kswfcu.org 135 WALDO AVENUE, BELFAST, ME 04915 | (207)338-5160 FAX: (207)338-6129 222 COLLEGE AVENUE, WATERVILLE, ME 04901 | (207)872-5602 FAX: (207)872-5776
SPECTICKLES
by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END
by TYSON COLE
Answer to to Last Crossword Answers last Week's month’s crossword O M E N
B O N E
S A M E
I D E S
S T A T E M E N T
S C O P E
V A P I D
E M E N D
E S S L E Y M E L W V O R R A N I A N P T M A V E A T E T P A N E L T E E T I I N N A T T N O Y
P R A T T L E A L L E G E D
R A R E
O P E R E O T N T Y A X R A U I N L O F F
C A P I S T T O A L M M A E W R E
A B O D E
P U R E E
S T E A M
A P R I L F R I O U R O E E L
G O E R
E L S E
L U R E
U S S R
© 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15
SPEED BUMP
by DAVE COVERLY
CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK
through the teen We empower boys and girls from grade school that centers on years and from various backgrounds with the truth works with all the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our summer camp staff of life in cabin s issue campers on their level in discussing important kers encourage devotional times and our high quality guest spea ons happening and motivate our young people during chapel sessi e and beyond who daily. We challenge the young people from Main tually, socially, spiri enter our doors as summer campers to become nsible leaders, mentally, and physically healthy and to become respo hy relationships. with creative thinking, self-motivation, and healt
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by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT
16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 2 - APRIL 2013
|
REGISTER@FAIRHAVENCAMPS.ORG
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