FREE
MIDCOAST EDITION
FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
Sat, Oct 12th, Doors open at 1PM, Mount View High School, Thorndike, ME Retired Game Warden, John Ford, author of “Suddenly, the Cider Didn’t Taste So Good”, will be selling his book and will be available for autographs.
Keynote speaker of the event
Meet & Greet with Northwood’s Law.
Expo area with vendors, guide services, taxidermist and outdoor organizations. Hunting seminars and wild game tastings throughout the afternoon.
will be
DUCK COMMANDER DUCKMAN
JUSTIN ‘MARTIN’
star of A&E’s Duck Dynasty.
Maine Antler and Skull Trophy Club will be available to score your deer, moose and bear skulls.
Tickets for admission are $16 each (Kids under 8 enter free)
Info and tickets available at MaineSportsmansNight.com SPEED BUMP
by DAVE COVERLY
LOOSE PARTS
by DAVE BLAZEK
CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK
Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email heather@nachotree.com or call 557-3261
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BIZ
by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK
by MARK PARISI
CAPTION CONTEST
2013
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Nancy Matthews, who submitted the following caption to last issue’s contest: “Cutting the tourism budget? Get rid of the trees and moose.” Send your best caption to this week’s contest to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited.
2100 miles. 29 homes. Endless stories.
Christian comedian Chris Quimby cycled from Maine to Texas in the spring of 2013, performing comedy along the way and staying in the homes of strangers with his wife and two children.
Come enjoy the stories of inspiration.
Admission is free.
LOGOS LEARNING CENTER 619 State Highway 150, Parkman, Maine Saturday, September 7, 2013, 7:00pm
FAIR HAVEN CAMPS
81 West Fair Haven Lane, Brooks, Maine Saturday, September 28, 2013, 7:00pm
2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
To book Chris, call 207.557.3251.
KARMA CAFE
by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT info@karma-cafe.net
HOW BAD KARMA STARTS...
SO, MR. HOWE... YOU SAY YOUR FIRM, —‘DEWEY, CHEATHAM AND +2:(·—CAN MAKE US HOW RICH SELLING MANURE FUTURES ON WALL STREET? © 2012 Karma-Cafe.net / Dist. by InkBottleSyndicate.com
TUNDRA
&
by CHAD CARPENTER
FACT OR FICTION?
*The earliest recorded case of a man giving up smoking was on April 5, 1679, when Johan Katsu, Sheriff of Turku, Finland, wrote in his diary, “I quit smoking tobacco.” He died one month later. *The average person spends about 2 years on the phone in a lifetime. *The first product to have a bar code was a pack of Wrigley’s gum. EEK!
by SCOTT NICKEL
print & digital design Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation
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The views and opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publisher, advertisers or employees of NachoTree Print & Digital Design. NachoTree Print & Digital Design is not responsible for any advertising errors beyond the first printing of any Display Ad. Additional contributor information can be found on the website URL’s above. Contents of this publication may not be reproduced or copied without permission from Funnies Extra, LLC. © 2012 Funnies Extra!, LLC. All rights reserved.
VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3
by DOUG BRATTON
HARA KIWI
© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by BRIAN MARTIN POP CULTURE SHOCK THERAPY
© 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
IMAGINE THAT
© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Answers can be found online at
© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only
ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
Answers to last month’s puzzle
Visit funnies-extra-maine.com Click the ‘Read Online’ link.
4 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
by LECTRR
THE DOOZIES
by TOM GAMMILL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Support Maine writers, read local! Local born (he still proudly calls Lincolnville "home”) writer Tincan Caldwell is pleased to present his first collection of short stories, each one based on one of the classic parables of Jesus.
In Stories for Ears to Hear, Tincan Caldwell puts a modern spin on the parables of Jesus in an attempt to help the reader imagine what the heart of these stories would look like today. In his famous challenge before telling a parable, Jesus would encourage "those with ears to hear" to listen to his tales of prodigal sons, lost coins, victimized travelers on the road, and elaborate parties with no guests. In telling these stories, Jesus brought the sensibilities of heaven to the very real dusty highways and hills of his homeland. In reimagining these classic parables (the parable of the good Samaritan set against the backdrop of the 9/11 tragedy, the parable of the unmerciful servant moved to a struggling record store, the parable of the talents reimagined in the world of a network reality show), Caldwell challenges readers to re-examine how heaven wants to invade the everyday stuff of life, like roads, parties, wayward sons, and the foundations we build our lives upon. That makes for a great story any day. Available in hardcover, soft cover or Kindle edition on Amazon.com and making its way into bookstores near you soon.
FUNNY PAPER
FRANK AND STEINWAY
by WIL PANGANIBAN © 2011 Wil Panganiban / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
When asked a question like, "Who is my neighbor?", Jesus often answered with a story. He did this because humans often see themselves in stories better than they do in direct answers. For instance, the universal situation of rescuing someone who is in desperate need on the side of the road somewhere, far from home, resonates with people down through the ages.
FACT OR FICTION?
*Long ago, if people wanted to get rid of members of their Clan without killing them, they used to burn their houses down -- hence the expression “to get fired.” *The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland’s daughter, Ruth. by DANIEL COLLINS business card design | print design | sign design brochure design | logo design stationery design | menu design
superior customer service excellent design
© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Ron Therein / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AGAINST THE GRAIN
by RON THERIEN
print & digital design brooks, maine 207.557.3251 | nachotree.com
VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5
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by CRYSTAL JONES 143 High Street, Belfast, ME 04915
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SQUID ROW
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JUDY BROSSMER judybrossmer@tcreal.com 207.338.3500 x121 (office) ( ffi ) 207.322.3392 (mobile) ( b 207.338.0192 (fax) 800.860.0528 (toll free)
FUTURE SHOCK
Garden DINGERS
by JIM & PAT McGREAL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.
by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH
Š 2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
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A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby
Not Selling Myself Short by Chris Quimby
I think I laid off half of my staff recently. It’s difficult to say for sure, though. What do you call it when you’re letting someone go at the exact same time that they resign? Mercy, I suppose. When I got the idea to publish Funnies Extra at the beginning of last year, my wife offered to sell the advertising. This was welcome news to me, for that was one of the tasks of this venture that was least appealing in my mind. In fact, it is one of the worst things in life I can think of. For about eighteen months, my wife persevered through her own intimidations with the process, willing herself into business after business and receiving mixes of reception that ranged from apathy and disrespect to acceptance and fruitfulness. Because of her efforts, we collected a faithful group of advertisers that have allowed us to provide laughs to the area for over eighteen issues. Meanwhile, I was building a local speaking career, the message lately of which was that people should not be so ready to obey their fears. Delivered within the context of a stand up come-
dy routine based on my own life experiences, I desired to share with groups of people how I’ve had to address and face my own giants in order to add value and opportunity to my life. However, I was avoiding the responsibility to go on the road and promote the benefits of advertising in Funnies Extra to prospective clients because I was afraid. A couple of months ago, the hypocrisy finally hit me. If I was to face my fears, I had to put on my big boy underwear, grab my suitcase, and make myself vulnerable to business owners in Waldo and Knox Counties. What I’ve found in doing so is that the experience is not nearly as scary as I imagined. That’s not to say it’s not intimidating, but it comes nowhere close to matching in severity the feelings I had about it. Being a man who’s prone to allow a swarm of thoughts and concerns oftentimes to overtake his reason, I found it helpful to divide each part of the responsibility into smaller, more manageable tasks. For instance, when driving up Route 3 recently and having the idea to stop in a particular business, I simply forced myself to drive into their parking lot. Certainly, such a thing should not be difficult to a collegeeducated and sober man like myself. The entrance into the parking lot was successful and I moved onto Step Two, which was to park the car. This seemed wise, since it would be difficult to find a decision-maker and
present our product by being in perpetual motion while driving around their parking lot. The parking was successful. Two for two so far. Upon exiting the vehicle, I chose to walk into the building. I opted for the familiar left-right, left-right foot cadence. I did not say this out loud like in the military, though. I’ve become quite able to do this silently in my head to the point that walking for me is almost an involuntary action. Without tripping, I made it into the business. After finding the person to whom I should have been speaking and presenting Funnies Extra, I left with an ad sale and an increased measure of confidence. And now, just a month later, I think it’s fair to say that I’m excited about the new opportunity. I enjoy telling people that I am the lone employee of Funnies Extra. I find it both challenging and rewarding. It would be unfortunate, though, for me to close this piece without offering the proper thanks to my wife of seventeen years. She has been an invaluable asset to this business and I am grateful. Although ad sales were much more difficult than she imagined when she offered herself for the position, she stuck with it. I still remember when she called me from the road after a morning during which she was suffering much job-related tension. She had sold her first ad, and to a client who has stayed with us through the dura-
Best of the Best 2012 & 2013 - Cleaning Services
10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
Swanville, ME (207)338-4586 www.mooressepticinc.com tion. It was a sweet moment. I know that there were many times that she wanted to do anything but visit business owner after business owner, oftentimes turned away as if she had leprosy. Such rejection is hard for a person to endure on a consistent basis. But her persistence was an inspiration to me. I wish Heather Quimby well in this new position she has accepted, educating our two children, cultivating her gardens, making the family healthful meals, and roughly 12,000 other things that are too many to mention. But now this is my time. Thank you to those who have allowed us to promote your businesses and services in our publication. Now, it’s time for me to take this project to the next level. For those of you in Waldo and Knox Counties who see me walking into your business with my left-right stepping pattern, please know that I wish not to hurt you. I will not deliver high-pressure sales nor disrespect your wishes. I will simply introduce you to our entertaining publication, of which a man at a business fair recently said, “We love this. It is such a great idea. You must have a ton of people who want to advertise in here.” That remains to be seen. Thank you to those who have. See you soon.
© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
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FACT OR FICTION?
*The Liberace Museum has a mirrorplated Rolls Royce; jewelencrusted capes; and the largest rhinestone in the world, weighing 59 pounds and almost a foot in diameter. HOXWINDER HALL
by DANIEL BORIS
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
15 MINUTES
by ROBERT DUCKETT
© 2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11
CRIME-QUIZ
by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN
THIN LINES
by Randy Glasbergen
© 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
THE
OTHER PLACE 368 Augusta Rd, Belmont 342-5872
NO FUNNIES EXTRA IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS?
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12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
Canning jars from 1/2 pint to 1/2 gallon. 1.5L Pepsi or Coke.....90¢ Winterization products have strated arriving. Cast iron stove dampers in 4"-6"-8" just arrived. New automotive close-out just arrived, too. Back in stock and while they last... Itasca 30wt Bar and Chain Oil again only $8.99 Gift Certificates & Layaway Always Available Open Mon-Sat 9:30 - 5; Sun 9:30-4 6 miles from Belfast
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thompsonsoil.com 207.342.4040 1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine
Tastes LikeBYChicken JOSH ALVES
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eila A nderso n
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13
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Funnies Extra! will shine the Spotlight on ‘toons from aspiring cartoonists and pay them, too! Comic strips and panels will be published from cartoonists of any age along with a pic and short bio. Send each strip as a PDF file, 300 dpi, CMYK, along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck! (Participation void where prohibited) FILM @ ELEVEN
by GEOFF HASSING
Geoff Hassing draws many different comics and cartoons including this comic panel, “FILM @ ELEVEN”
t5PQ 2VBMJUZ t4VQFS 4FMFDUJPO t-PDBM $POWFOJFODF 4IPQ 0OMJOF 1JDL 6Q -PDBM
He’s been a professional cartoonist for more than twenty-three years, a member of the National Cartoonists Society and Vice-Chair for the Northwest Chapter. He has written and drawn everything from comic strips, comic books, humorous illustrations, children’s books illustrations, video games, role playing games illustrations and cave drawing.
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For more information about Film @ Eleven and Geoff Hassing, visit his website at: www.geofftoons.com.
FORTUNE STREET by RANDY McILWAINE
DON’T FORGET THE BARGAIN BASEMENT!
COLBURN SHOE STORE | 338.1934 Downtown Belfast | Open Every Day! | Downtown Belfast www.ColburnShoe.com | Like us on Facebook
14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
Randy McIlwaine’s cartoon panel, Fortune St., is an offbeat look at a world populated by superheroes, gods and demons, alien life, movie monsters and average Joes. Randy’s twisted sense of humor has been amusing audiences for more than twenty years. His cartoons have been featured in publications throughout the world and can be found on a wide variety of products such as greeting cards, t-shirts, calendars and mugs. In addition to Fortune St., Randy produces a weekly hunting cartoon for BigGameHunt.net. For more on Fortune St. and Randy McIlwaine, visit him online at www.fortune-st-cartoons.com.
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DOWN 1. Residence hall 2. Type of sword 3. 100th anniversary 4. One of the Great Lakes 5. A high alpine meadow 6. Bottomless 7. Challenges 8. Women’s garments 9. Flattery
10. 66 in Roman numerals 11. Beasts of burden 12. Cable 15.Precipitous 21. Misplaced 23. Lass 25. Saturate 27. Sheltered spot 28. Colonic 29. Greatest possible 31. Recognized 32. Smelter waste 34. Hearing organ 36. How old we are 39. Barbie’s beau 40. Chilled 43. Against the law 44. Dregs 46. Is endebted to 47. Oblivious 49. Fence “doors” 50. Happenings 53. Artist’s workstand 55. Chop finely 56. Curved molding 57. Bit of dust 58. Russian parliament 60. Incite 61. Agile 64. Eastern Standard Time
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www.kswfcu.org 135 WALDO AVENUE, BELFAST, ME 04915 | (207)338-5160 FAX: (207)338-6129 222 COLLEGE AVENUE, WATERVILLE, ME 04901 | (207)872-5602 FAX: (207)872-5776
SPECTICKLES
by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END
by TYSON COLE
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ACROSS 1. A style of design 5. Contributes 9. Hard punch 13. Not closed 14. Discharges 16. 71 in Roman numerals 17. Lease 18. Excellence 19. Affirm 20. Iron or steel 22. Swift falcon 24. God of love 26. Mug 27. Meat from a deer 30. Disseminate 33. Footnote 35. An elastic fabric 37. Floral necklace 38. A yellowish brown color 41. Sprocket 42. Electronic letters 45. Resort 48. Assert without proof 51. Freshness 52. Depart 54. Deceased 55. Estate 59. Hurried swallows 62. All excited 63. Follow as a result 65. At the peak of 66. Bristle 67. Stalks 68. Back 69. Part of a foot 70. Thin strip 71. Countercurrent
Answers to last month’s crossword
© 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15
BC
by MASTROIANNI AND HART
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Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email heather@nachotree.com or call 557-3261
16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 7 - SEPTEMBER 2013
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