FREE
MIDCOAST EDITION
FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 SPEED BUMP
by DAVE COVERLY
LOOSE PARTS
by DAVE BLAZEK
CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK
Sat, Oct 12th, Doors open at 1PM, Mount View High School, Thorndike, ME
Keynote speaker of the event
be illl b wil
DUCK COMMANDER DUCKMAN
JUSTIN ‘MARTIN’
star of A&E’s Duck Dynasty.
Retired Game Warden, John Ford, author of “Suddenly, the Cider Didn’t Taste So Good”, will be selling his book and will be available for autographs.
Seminars throughout the afternoon on Sea Duck Hunting, Whitetail Deer Hunting, Predator Calling and a special presentation from Unity College’s Bear Study.
Maine Antler and Skull Trophy Expo area with vendors, guide Club will be available to score your services, taxidermist and outdoor deer, moose and bear skulls. organizations .
Tickets for admission are $16 each (Kids under 8 enter free)
Info and tickets available at MaineSportsmansNight.com Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email heather@nachotree.com or call 557-3261
FREE!
BIZ
by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK
by MARK PARISI
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
CAPTION CONTEST
2013
Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Greg Bingham, who submitted the following caption to last issue’s contest: “I’m having a hard time trusting Blue Oyster Cult on this one.” Send your best caption to this week’s contest to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited.
2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
KARMA CAFE
by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT info@karma-cafe.net
HOW BAD KARMA STARTS...
SO, MR. HOWE... YOU SAY YOUR FIRM, —‘DEWEY, CHEATHAM AND +2:(·—CAN MAKE US HOW RICH SELLING MANURE FUTURES ON WALL STREET?
Country Styles FAMILY HAIR CARE 161 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks
207.722.3551
© 2012 Karma-Cafe.net / Dist. by InkBottleSyndicate.com
TUNDRA
&
by CHAD CARPENTER
FACT OR FICTION?
*Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt. *A hedgehog’s heart beats 300 times a minute on average. *Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio. *”I am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. *Camel’s milk does not curdle. EEK!
by SCOTT NICKEL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
print & digital design Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation
FUNNIES EXTRA!, LLC 6822 22nd Avenue North, #134, St. Petersburg, FL 33710 www.funnies-extra.com ~ info@funnies-extra.com
MOTHER GOOSE & GRIMM
by MIKE PETERS
Kim Kellogg - Editor editor@funnies-extra.com Bill Kellogg - Marketing Director bill@funnies-extra.com ~ 907–441-6882 Richard Cross - Publisher publisher@funnies-extra.com ~ 727-343-1243
The views and opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publisher, advertisers or employees of NachoTree Print & Digital Design. NachoTree Print & Digital Design is not responsible for any advertising errors beyond the first printing of any Display Ad. Additional contributor information can be found on the website URL’s above. Contents of this publication may not be reproduced or copied without permission from Funnies Extra, LLC. © 2012 Funnies Extra!, LLC. All rights reserved.
VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3
by BRIAN MARTIN STRANGER THINGS
by TIM THOMSON © 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Answers can be found online at
© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only
ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
Answers to last month’s puzzle
4 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
HARA KIWI
© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
IMAGINE THAT
by LECTRR
by TOM GAMMILL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
THE DOOZIES
by WIL PANGANIBAN © 2011 Wil Panganiban / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FRANK AND STEINWAY
FACT OR FICTION?
*The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting. *It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body. by DANIEL COLLINS
PLANNING A WEDDING, PARTY, REUNION OR CORPORATE EVENT? Now Booking for 2013
The sky's the limit and we will help you make some History, at Fort Knox and the Observatory.
© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Ron Therein / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AGAINST THE GRAIN
by RON THERIEN PHONE 207-469-6553, EMAIL FOFK1@AOL.COM WEB SITE: FORTKNOX.MAINEGUIDE.COM
218 Congress St., Belfast, Maine 04915 | www.prayshomes.com
FUNNY PAPER
VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5
WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE
Funny Comics
Visit funnies-extra-maine.com Click the ‘Read Online’ link. ©2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FUNNIES EXTRA IS PRINTED IN MAINE, KEEPING MONEY IN THE STATE CRANKY GIRL
by CRYSTAL JONES 143 High Street, Belfast, ME 04915
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by BRIDGETT SPICER Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
SQUID ROW
6 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
JUDY BROSSMER judybrossmer@tcreal.com 207.338.3500 x121 (office) ( ffi ) 207.322.3392 (mobile) ( b 207.338.0192 (fax) 800.860.0528 (toll free)
Garden DINGERS
FUTURE SHOCK
by JIM & PAT McGREAL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.
by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH
Š 2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Join Funnies Extra Maine on Facebook and Twitter!
FACEBOOK: /NachoTree TWITTER: /NachoTreeDesign THAT MONKEY TUNE
by MICHAEL KANDALAFT Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
photo by Georges Nashan
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VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 7
WIZARD OF ID
by PARKER & MASTROIANNI & HART
HOLY MOLÉ
by RICK HOTTON
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
DOGS OF C-KENNEL
by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI
Real Food Locally Grown
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
HALF BAKED
8 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
by RICK ELLIS
Here at White bringing back t your grandp Not only do we o and authenti vegetables, we custom furniture eggs, grass-f pasture-ra Stop by the farm we’re up
435 Monroe Road, Winterp t XXX XIJUF 7JTJU VT PO
THE OTHER COAST
by ADRIAN RAESIDE
by SCOTT LINCOLN Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
RALF THE DESTROYER
SUNSHINE STATE
by GRAHAM NOLAN Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
d & More n & Handmade
’s Farm we are the type of farm parents had! offer sustainably ically grown e have lumber, e, canned goods, fed beef and aised pork. m and see what to today!
PICKLES
by BRIAN CRANE
port, Maine TGBSN PSH t XIJUFTGBSN !HNBJM DPN
VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9
A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby
Mainer Credibility by Chris Quimby As a lifelong Mainer, I feel the need to participate in certain activities that characterize our region. I’ve been marginally successful with this goal. For example, I’m sure I might have skied at one point in my life, but only if you define skiing as the process of a child strapping on a set and sliding clumsily along an interior floor, like a young, curious and uninjured kid might try out a pair of crutches. I do not believe I’ve ever set two skis on the snow and followed a path, smiling like I was enjoying my efforts to simply avoid being split in half by two uncooperative legs. For the record, I have had an encounter with a lobster on two occasions. The first was while eating a lobster stew at the home of a relative. I don’t remember loving or hating it, but I do remember -for reasons unknown to me -- that it came back up that night. The second meeting with a lobster was at my sister’s wedding rehearsal, during which she attempted to show her appreciation to the wedding party by placing one of
the creatures on each person’s plate. I understand that people eat these things, but if I had never seen it, I wouldn’t believe it. I stared at mine for a long time, trying to feel prehistoric enough to rip into the monster in front of me, but could not summon the motivation. I sat there, a Maine Failure, finishing my baked potato while dozens of friends and families sucked meat from legs. But all of my regional exploits have not ended in failure. In fact, I’m proud to say I’ve legally shot a buck after a career of deer hunting that consisted of no more than four total hours in the woods. It was a few years ago. I was a bit of a metrosexual who had his wife regularly color highlights in his gel-soaked hairdo. I wore a chain and cologne regularly, but started to fear I was becoming too much of a pretty boy. I regularly looked out my back window and saw many of my male family members toting guns and looking for their prey for hours, weeks, months and years with varying degrees of success and felt I should do the same. After a hunter safety course, I went out with my uncle during a couple of cold mornings while he taught me how to hunt, which consisted of us pretending we
weren’t freezing cold while we sat still and looked around for animals that were not there. Being impatient, I figured my hunting career was over, until I summoned the motivation to head out that Friday to give it a try on my own. After a quick prayer (which I’m sure everyone has tried at least once in their lives) and while listening to talk radio on my Walkman, I spied a buck deep in the woods and took one shot through the thick of the trees. Surprisingly, I hit it in an ideal location (according to me, not the deer) and I phoned my uncle to come over and help me dress the animal. I was not interested in placing my hands inside a dead thing. If I was fine with such activity, I would probably be a greater fan of lobster. I never hunted again. Part of this is because I lost interest, but the other part is because it makes it a cooler story -- especially to other hunters who still haven’t shot a buck. The thrill I get from telling unsuccessful sportsmen of my fourhour hunting experience greatly outweighs the fear I should feel for making men with guns angry. Last Monday, I climbed Mount Katahdin with my daughter and other family and friends. I believe it was the sixth such trip. Each
10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
Swanville, ME (207)338-4586 www.mooressepticinc.com time, on the way down, I try to force the painful memories of hiking deeply enough into my brain in hopes that I will remember to never make the trek again. I am never successful, though, as evidenced by the fact that I continue to accept people’s invitations to do this. This ascent up the mountain was different than others, because it was the first one that made me feel old. The first reason for this was that I took my fourteen-year-old daughter up with me and predicted I would have to use my great powers of worrying to keep her safe. Instead, she did great, while I seemed to trip on more rocks than anyone, forcing her to emerge as the parental figure while warning me of every upcoming stepping point that wasn’t secure. Secondly, I was amazed that, even after bicycling 2,200 miles from Maine to Texas this summer, my legs weren’t in shape enough to not be rubbery and in great pain for the whole descent. It’s hard not to conclude that, even though I’m gaining more credibility as a Mainer by the activities I participate in, I’m still aging, and I’m not quite sure what to do about that. Perhaps I need to eat more lobster.
© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
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FACT OR FICTION?
*It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it. *The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples. *A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. *Bubble gum contains rubber. HOXWINDER HALL
by DANIEL BORIS
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
15 MINUTES
by ROBERT DUCKETT © 2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11
CRIME-QUIZ
by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN
THIN LINES
by Randy Glasbergen
© 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
THE
OTHER PLACE 368 Augusta Rd, Belmont 342-5872
NO FUNNIES EXTRA IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS?
No problem! Contact Funnies Extra Headquarters for information on starting your own lucrative Funnies Extra! publishing business. Hurry! Limited licensing opportunities available in select territories across the U.S. and Canada.. For details, go to: www.funnies-extra.com
12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
Automotive Touch Up Paint.....99¢ Chain Saw Files, Swiss Made, 3/16", 5/32", 7/32".....$1.79 Felling Wedges 8" & 10".....$7.99 Painters Tape 1", 1-1/2", 2".....$1.99, $2.69, $3.29 Assorted Color Mini Feathers.....$1.19 10,000 Pc. Case Of Corndog Sticks.....$5.00 Gift Certificates & Layaway Always Available Open Mon-Sat 9:30 - 5; Sun 9:30-4 6 miles from Belfast
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LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS
A great way to save money on oil!
thompsonsoil.com 207.342.4040 1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine
www.faceb k.com/tasteslikechickencomic
© 2011 Sheila Anderson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Tastes LikeBYChicken JOSH ALVES
©2012 Josh Alves
13
3
wordgames.co.uk
1
For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13
Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited)
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by GEOFF HASSING
Geoff Hassing draws many different comics and cartoons including this comic panel, “FILM @ ELEVEN”
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For more information about Film @ Eleven and Geoff Hassing, visit his website at: www.geofftoons.com.
FORTUNE STREET by RANDY McILWAINE
DON’T FORGET THE BARGAIN BASEMENT!
COLBURN SHOE STORE | 338.1934 Downtown Belfast | Open Every Day! | Downtown Belfast www.ColburnShoe.com | Like us on Facebook
14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
Randy McIlwaine’s cartoon panel, Fortune St., is an offbeat look at a world populated by superheroes, gods and demons, alien life, movie monsters and average joes. Randy’s twisted sense of humor has been amusing audiences for more than twenty years. His cartoons have been featured in publications throughout the world and can be found on a wide variety of products such as greeting cards, t-shirts, calendars and mugs. In addition to Fortune St., Randy produces a weekly hunting cartoon for BigGameHunt.net. For more on Fortune St. and Randy McIlwaine, visit him online at www.fortune-st-cartoons.com.
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www.kswfcu.org 135 WALDO AVENUE, BELFAST, ME 04915 | (207)338-5160 FAX: (207)338-6129 222 COLLEGE AVENUE, WATERVILLE, ME 04901 | (207)872-5602 FAX: (207)872-5776
SPECTICKLES © 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END
by TYSON COLE
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
10. Swords ACROSS 11. A walking exercise device 1. Cummerbund 12. Applications 5. Fanatical 13. Finest 10. Counterfoil 18. Homeric epic 14. Operatic solo 22. Gas or petrol 15. Poplar tree 24. Trudge 16. Backside 26. 1 1 1 1 17. Not horizontally 28. Gain knowledge 19. Honey insects 29. District 20. French for “Summer” 30. Close 21. Fine thread 31. Radar signal 22. Banquet 32. Prospector’s find 23. Scorn 33. Large long-armed ape 25. Calabash 34. Bring into accord 27. Flee 37. Large 28. A certain sports official 38.Harbor 31. A bodily fluid 40. Wash 34. Renegade 41. Sail supports 35. Fury 43. Kleenex 36. A titled peer of the realm 44. Incumbency 37. Makes well 46. Guys 38. Urgent request 47. Picture 39. Actress Lupino 48. 9 9 9 9 40. Ill-gotten gains 49. Be 41. Back tooth 50. Puncture 42. 5-sided figure 51. Creative work 44. Black gunk 53. A single time 45. Donated 56. Embrace 46. Preordain 57. Faucet 50. Home 52. Enumerate 54. Stir Answers to last month’s crossword 55. Chooses 56. A language of India 58. Hawaiian feast 59. Canker sore 60. How old we are 61. Feudal worker 62. Ganders 63. Annoyance DOWN 1. Rescued 2. Mountain crest 3. Fathers 4. Cap 5. Bigotry 6. Humiliate 7. Chime 8. Unreadable 9. Former North African ruler
VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15
BC
by MASTROIANNI AND HART
Visit us at
Made in
Belfast!
171 High Street, Belfast or call
2O7-338-2299
Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email heather@nachotree.com or call 557-3261
16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 6 - AUGUST 2013
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