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FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
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BIZ
CAPTION CONTEST
Send your best caption to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited. Turn to page 12 for last week’s cartoon and its winning caption.
Catch the television debut of Funnies Extra Publisher,
Chris Quimby Sat, July Sat uly 7, 7 11:30pm 11 30pm
performing
y Walmart” “Come To M railer” “Living in a T
www.chrisQuimby.com 2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
New Wave Salon
BC
by MASTROIANNI AND HART
and Day Spa
MON-FRI, 8-5; SAT, 8-3 Linda Nash, owner
TUNDRA
by CHAD CARPENTER
Walk-ins Welcome
167 Northport Ave, Belfast 207.338.9657
FACT OR FICTION? *In an average lifetime, a person will walk around the equator about 5 times. *The numbers ‘172’ can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial. *President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute. EEK!
by SCOTT NICKEL
Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation
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Kim Kellogg - Editor editor@funnies-extra.com
VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3
by BRIAN MARTIN STRANGER THINGS
by TIM THOMSON
HARA KIWI
by LECTRR
© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
IMAGINE THAT
PUZZLES
© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Performance Schedule Answers from last issue’s Sudoku
Mount View Chamber Singers
The Elves and The Shoemaker
May 20 ...............................7:00 pm
September 28, 29 ...............7:00 pm September 30 .....................2:00 pm
Voices Unlimited May 26 ...............................7:00 pm
Arsenic and Old Lace
Always Patsy Cline
Oct 12, 13, 19 & 20 ...........7:30 pm October 21 .........................2:00 pm
June 15, 16, 22 & 23..........7:30 pm June 17 ...............................2:00 pm
© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only
July 20, 21, 27 & 28...........7:30 pm July 29 ................................2:00 pm
November 9 & 10 ..............7:30 pm November 16 & 17 ............7:30 pm
80’s Dance Party
It’s A Wonderful Life
August 3 & 4......................7:30 pm August 10, 11.....................7:30 pm ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php
WORD GAMES
All In The Timing
4 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
Quilt: A Musical Celebration
MRT Singers September 7 & 8 ................7:30 pm September 14, 15 ...............7:30 pm
(1940’s radio show) November 30 & Dec 1 .......7:30 pm December 7 & 8.................7:30 pm present this ad at the show for a free beverage
MarshRiverTheater.com
THE DOOZIES
by TOM GAMMILL
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Follow this dramatic lively sometimes funny but important Summer adventure
by WIL PANGANIBAN © 2011 Wil Panganiban / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FRANK AND STEINWAY
http://www.facebook.com/rideforareason
AIIA is a Maine-based national Christian apologetics organization. Visit us at AIIAInstitute.org, write us at PO Box 262, Monson ME 04464, or call us at 207.997.3644
FUNNY PAPER
FACT OR FICTION? *Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression “to get fired.” * A 41-gun salute is the traditional salute to a royal birth in Great Britain. by DANIEL COLLINS
© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by RON THERIEN
© 2011 Ron Therein / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
AGAINST THE GRAIN
VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5
We've got
Rol l-off s and D u mp ster s Ava i l abl e!
Junk Trunk!
WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE
BAKING
in the
LING SERVICES WA STE DISPOSAL & RECYC
sw ast e@ ho t ma il.c om 948-2658 | sul oflivCane ntr al Ma ine ! C ov e r ing all
©2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
FUNNIES EXTRA IS PRINTED IN MAINE, KEEPING MONEY IN THE STATE by CRYSTAL JONES Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
CRANKY GIRL
by BRIDGETT SPICER
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
SQUID ROW
143 High Street, Belfast, ME 04915
6 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
JUDY BROSSMER judybrossmer@tcreal.com 207.338.3500 x121 (office) 207.322.3392 (mobile) 207.338.0192 (fax) 800.860.0528 (toll free)
Garden Ga
Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.
DINGERS
FUTURE SHOCK
by JIM & PAT McGREAL
.com
by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Join Funnies Extra Maine on Facebook and Twitter! FACEBOOK: /NachoTree • TWITTER: /NachoTreeDesign THAT MONKEY TUNE
by MICHAEL KANDALAFT Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Protecting you. For over 30 years, the Varney Agency has been protecting what's most important to businesses and families throughout Maine and New England.
Varney Agency SEARSPORT 117 E Main Street, Searsport, Maine 04974 | Toll Free: 800-640-6364 Branch Manager - Victor Bouchard | vbouchard@varneyagency.com THOMASTON THE HYLER AGENCY | 472 Main Street | Thomaston, ME 04861 207-354-6210 | Fax 354-6936 Branch Manager - Lu-Ann Hyler | lhyler@varneyagency.com UNITY Clifford Commons, P.O. Box 163, Unity, Maine 04988 Phone: 207-948-5171 | Toll Free: 800-599-5171 Branch Manager - Robina Lods | rlods@varneyagency.com
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VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 7
by PARKER & MASTROIANNI & HART
HOLY MOLÉ
by RICK HOTTON Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
DOGS OF C-KENNEL
by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI
HALF BAKED
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8 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
by RICK ELLIS
business card design | print design | photo editing | brochure design | logo design | stationery design | menu design
WIZARD OF ID
excellent custom
excellent d
very competi
print & dig
brooks, m 207.557.3251 | n
THE OTHER COAST
by ADRIAN RAESIDE
stomer service.
nt design. RALF THE DESTROYER
by SCOTT LINCOLN
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SUNSHINE STATE
by GRAHAM NOLAN
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petitive rates.
PICKLES
by BRIAN CRANE
igital design
ks, maine | nachotree.com
VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9
A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father of two and owner of NachoTree Print & Digital Design in Brooks, Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over 10 years experience in the print industry and can also say his alphabet backwards. In addition to offering Funnies Extra! to Waldo and Knox Counties with his wife, Heather, he also posts way too often on Facebook, once even being blocked by his best friend. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby
My 2003 Pontiac Grand Ambarrassment by Chris Quimby When owning your own business, it’s hard to do everything there is to do. It’s necessary to prioritize and always accomplish as many of the most important things first and then try to maintain a peace in God’s sovereignty that will ward off most aneurisms. And, according to my brief experience running my own business, it’s not always easy to pay for everything that would hope to take your money. It’s instead wiser to determine degree of importance before addressing life’s issues. That is my excuse for the present state of my car. In 2009, I bought a vehicle I was most pleased with. Now, I have never been a Car Guy – one who is obsessed with makes and models. In fact, if a car no longer wore the plastic logo on the back, I would likely not even know what kind it was. Whereas many people might refer
to the variety on the roads in such terms as Volvos, S10’s and Beamers, I would identify the selections using such words as fast, big or loud. It was with this informational handicap that I approached a small dealership in Maine about three years ago. I made reasonably good money at the time working at my full-time job, but didn’t think I cared enough about any vehicle to be tempted to pay more than I should. I was wrong. I would have told you at the time that I would have been content with small and cheap. I test drove two of those, and they were true to their description. Each time, I ignored the third vehicle, a shiny and sporty looking sedan that I had hardly considered buying because I had determined it was something that only cool people drove. With a little time on my hands, I decided to simply take it for a drive to see what it might feel like to be cool. Well, it feels good. I’m sure this is why cool people decide to become cool. After returning and calling my wife for her blessing, I bought the vehicle. Now, there are surely more enviable cars than a 2003 Pontiac Grand Am, but you have to understand my history with vehicles up to that point.
Although I should’ve been thankful for simply having any transportation, there was no shortage of frustration in dealing with cars that were too often in the garage. Whether from me or friends, they had earned their share of pejorative nicknames, like Dodge Bomni, Mercury Disable and Ford Tortoise. I loved my new car. It sparkled in the sun. It had power. It had a great radio. It had something on the back called a spoiler, the purpose of which I am still unsure of. For two years, it rarely needed work. Unfortunately, though, like red meat and child celebrities, it has gotten more rotten over time. And now I’m at the point where I’m delivering Funnies Extra in a car that makes unappealing noises like a drunk uncle and blows a fuse every time it rains, rendering it inoperable. Functionally, I should be grateful, because it still gets me to where I need to be, but no longer in the style and ease of 2009. I had mentioned to my wife, Heather, that I would love to get an attractive vehicle wrap for it, but it’s a mixed message to communicate the importance of the beauty of well-designed graphic artistry on a car that’s losing more paint than the face of a sobbing wife of a televangelist.
Two days ago, upon entering the vehicle with me, my daughter gazed upon a curved piece of metal and a gray, plastic circle in the backseat and asked, “What’s that?” “One of them is a hubcap and the other is a piece of metal that fell off on the Bailey Road in Knox last week,” I responded. “I don’t know what the latter is for, but the car still works and no longer makes a rattling noise.” There are a few things wrong with this vehicle, and at the rate that Funnies Extra is growing, I will likely soon be able to get them addressed. For now, though, I must be patient. I would assume that these are the minor trials that one must endure early on in the infancy of business growth. That is why you might see me around town in a Pontiac Grand Am, humbly sporting two Funnies Extra door magnets. It would do you well to concentrate more on the quality of the magnets than the actual sight of the car. It would also be nice if you would concentrate on the road. So don’t feel bad for me. I’m simply back at the point in my life that the main feature of my car its ability to usually get me to where I need to go. And, as a guy who performs and writes comedy and publishes a humor publication, I suppose it’s foundationally consistent to drive a car that’s a bit of a joke.
PPRESENT RESENT THIS COUPON FOR
IT’S WORTH THE TRIP! | 39 N Main St, Brewer, ME 04412 | www.spinayarn.biz | Mon-Wed, Fri, 10-5; Sat & Sun, 10-3; Closed Thurs 10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
Broadband High Speed Internet State-of-the-Art Fiber Optic Technology Unlimited Long Distance Bundles Talk All You Want... When You Want Affordable TV Packages Superior Technology Offer the Ultimate TV Experience
Wireless Broadband service in Belfast, Northport, Swanville areas
UniTel has it all for you! Call 948-3900 www.unitelme.com
Call Toll Free: 877-338-9015 www.bluestreakme.com
© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Trust a local company that has been providing superior service in Waldo County Since 1902.
“between you and me, i hope it’s a train.”
ADS IN FUNNIES EXTRA GET NOTICED. FULL COLOR. LIMITED AVAILABILITY. by DANIEL BORIS
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HOXWINDER HALL
FACT OR FICTION? *7.5 million toothpicks can be created from a cord of wood. *The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. *Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell. 15 MINUTES
Check out our
summer sandal sale!
by ROBERT DUCKETT
COLBURN SHOE STORE | 338.1934 Downtown Belfast | Open Every Day!
© 2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
www.ColburnShoe.com | Like us on Facebook
VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11
CRIME-QUIZ
by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN
TO ERR IS BOVINE
by JASON DODGE
BAROLLI
© 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
© 2011 Jason Dodge / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
LAST ISSUE’S
CAPTION CONTEST WINNER Look Steve! We’ve found D.B. Cooper!
No Funnies Extra! in your neck of the woods? No problem! Just contact us for information on starting your own lucrative Funnies Extra! publishing business. Hurry! Limited licensing opportunities available in select territories across the U.S. and Canada. For details, go to: www.funnies-extra.com 12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Ryan Duplisea, who submitted the above caption to last issue’s Caption Contest. Offer your own submission to this month’s contest on page 3.
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12 wordgames.co.uk
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14 Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC in North America only.
LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS
#2 FUEL KEROSENE OFF-ROAD DIESEL PROPANE GASOLINE ULS DIESEL 24-hour emergency service Oil & propane equipment sales, installation and service Free estimates for installation of propane and oil heating units
Š 201
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k Bott le Syn
dicate , LLC
1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine t UIPNQTPOTPJM DPN
For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13
Cart
nist Sp tlight
Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited) by DREW POCZA Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
POKEWEED
Pokeweed! A small town with big fun. It’s the anywhere and everywhere town on the map, but just south of nowhere. Living in Pokeweed, anything can happen, but always with loads of fun. A simple life pokes at ya from Drew Pocza. www.pokeweedcomics.com
unisex scrubs | chef jackets, aprons | Dansko shoes
15 STARRETT DRIVE BELFAST | 207.338.6653
OUT TO LUNCH
by RICH DIESSLIN
Monday & Friday, 10-5; Tuesday-Thursday, 9-5
Home to cartoon titles including Out to Lunch, The Cartoon Gospel, Religious Light, and KNOTS or Not Scout Cartoons!
Fast, accurate, ffriendlyy service! Owner on site!
Thanks to over 1.2 million visits to his web site and over 35,000 to last year’s “The Cartoon Days of Christmas” (TCDC), Rich enjoys success far outside the norm for most cartoonists.
65 MT. EPHRAIM RD, SEARSPORT MON-SAT, 9AM-5PM | 548-2363
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
MT Bottles REDEMPTION CENTER
Rich is a prodigious cartoonist in many different markets that appeals to a wide audience.
Stop By for 6 Cent Tuesdays!
14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
Rich Diesslin is a member of the National Cartoonists Society. To view his extensive collection, go to: www.the-cartoonist.com
Bring this adOffer toexpires theJuly 31Belfast branch for a free gift. or when supplies run out, whichever occurs first. Limit 1 per household.
KSW is proud to announce our field of membership now includes Belfast, Unity and Thorndike. Our field of membership includes anyone who lives, works, worships, goes to school, or volunteers in Kennebec or Somerset Counties, and the following towns in Waldo County: Belfast, Belmont, Brooks, Jackson, Knox, Liberty, Monroe, Montville, Morrill, Searsmont, Swanville, Thorndike, Unity and Waldo. You may also become a member if you are related to an existing member.
135 WALDO AVENUE, BELFAST, ME 04915 (207)338-5160 FAX: (207)338-6129 222 COLLEGE AVENUE, WATERVILLE 04901 (207)872-5602 FAX: (207)872-5776
SPECTICKLES © 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END
by TYSON COLE
Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC
Answers to last month’s crossword
VOL 5 - JULY 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15
SPEED BUMP
by DAVE COVERLY LOOSE PARTS
by DAVE BLAZEK CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK
Professional iPhone Repair. iPhone | iPod | iPad
broken screens | water damage | battery issues | buy and sell | recycling
chris downs
computerroom 207.217.2534
cdcomputerroom.com chris@cdcomputerroom.com
KARMA CAFE HOW COME THE GOOFIEST PEOPLE GET PROMOTED TO MANAGEMENT?
© 2012 Karma-Cafe.net / Dist. by Ink Bottle Syndicate
by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT Want to learn more GAWRSH, MUH WATCH STOPPED!
info@karma-cafe.net
16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 5 - JULY 2012
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