Sam Hughes

SAM HUGHES

I mulled over the theme of masculinity for the solo show I have to do for my acting courseseveral times. I definitely wanted to talk about lotsof different things. I had a thousand ideas, butmasculinity stuck out the most to me. I starteddoing research into it and, when I began playingwith the idea, I got really hooked. I knew I definitelywanted to talk about this. It is a really serious subject,but to me, some aspects of it are quite funnyas well. There are loads of dark undertones andserious social issues, but then it is also like mencan’t paint their nails, men can’t wear pink. Stufflike that is just really funny to me, all the rulesthat are involved in “being a man”. I want peopleto laugh, but at the same time, I want them to reflecton their own behaviour. Hopefully, it will say to them that some of these ideas aren’t healthy. I just wanted people to have fun with it, not drag everyone down. I want to make people laugh but also feel guilty. I want to present the rules and the expectations of what you can and can’t do as a man, what you’re supposed to do and what’s expected of you. I want to go on stage to challenge things and break those rules.

Danielle Goodland

The way I behave, the way I dress, and the way I look isn’t very manly, so people have always characterised me like that. Other men don’t see me as a threat. Whenever I meet new people, at some point they say, ‘“Oh, I thought you were gay, I’m sorry.” I’m not offended if they thought I was gay, it’s not a problem and it isn’t a bad thing. I ask why they thought I was gay, and they say, “Well, you’re just so nice”. It’s hilarious! They’re like, “You’re really nice, not at all dominating or threatening or anything.” If I have to be dominating and threatening to come across as straight, then I’m happy that people think I’m gay. Call me gay, it’s fine!

you’re a man and that’s just what men do

In first year, when I started dying my hair all sorts of crazy colours, people were asking me why I was doing it, wondering if it was because I was coming out. I was like, no I’m just dying my hair fun colours because I want to. I feel, a lot of the time, if you do something out of the norm, it’s expected to mean something and some sort of big revelation around it is expected. Whereas, in actual fact, you are just doing something because it is fun. I think if more people did that it wouldn’t be such a weird thing for other people to see or be a part of.

Danielle Goodland

I do think it’s going to get easier to ignore these rules because there are lots of movements at the moment breaking down the barriers and getting people to be themselves.

I think I’m pretty lucky being surrounded by the people on my course. The thing about my acting course is that most of us don’t give a damn. We are pretty carefree towards the unwritten rules of what men are allowed to do. I find the most honest and open people when talking about manly topics are gay people. They’re the ones I can have the most honest and open conversation with about how they’re feeling, what they’ve been through and what it’s like at the moment to be a man. When it comes to the social norms that we have, guys buying drinks and holding doors open for girls, I don’t really know where I sit on those arguments. Is it patronising? Is it belittling? Or is it manners? I guess it all depends on the motivation behind the action on the man’s part. If a man is buying you a drink just to sleep with you then he’s not a nice guy, he doesn’t have good intentions, whereas if a guy is just holding a door open for you, he might just be holding a door open.

Danielle Goodland

My feeling is that men’s mental health is not taken seriously. I think it comes with the stigma of what it is to be a man and that masculinity means that you shouldn’t have emotions. If you are unhappy, you need to speak out. There are no social restrictions that should stop you from being happy. I don’t think rules, especially unwritten rules with regards to being a man, should stop you from doing anything at all. Especially talking about how crappy you feel. Male suicide is such an incredibly sensitive and important issue at the moment. I’m sure it has always been a massive problem, but it only seems to be recently that people have started talking about it or have even been allowed to start the conversation. It feels like, due to the immense restrictions surrounding being allowed to talk about emotions and how you feel as a man, it creates an inescapable prison. You’re trapped fighting an unbeatable force all on your own because you’re a man and that’s just what men do. They sort things out on their own. I think that’s bullsh*t. The idea that anyone should have to suffer just because of who they are is crazy. Anyone can talk, you just have to make sure you talk to the right people. If someone judges you because you’re a man and you’re opening up, then they’re an outdated moron who doesn’t deserve to witness your immense bravery. The main method to combat this issue is to dispel the idea that men shouldn’t talk about feelings. Neither men nor women are better at conveying how they feel, everyone has the potential and ability, it’s just whether you feel safe enough to do so. Whether or not you feel you’re allowed to. Find the right people and you can say whatever you want, free of judgement and persecution. Gender shouldn’t be a prison. It is really important to ignore the rules and just think about yourself.

I’m a massive believer in doing things for the joy of it. If you ever feel the shadow of masculinity looming over you whilst you’re having a bath with a moisturising, pink bath bomb from Lush, just put more cucumber on your eyelids and block it out. Societal rules shouldn’t dictate what you can and can’t do. Only you can do that. It’s understandable that people are going to judge you because you’re breaking the norms. You’re intimidating and frightening them, that’s all. Which is packed full of irony, really.