AntiValentines? AntiValentines?

Ahh Valentine’s Day - the most lamented public holiday of all!

The day when we are all suffocated by hearts and chocolates and expectations. When single feels lonelier than ever and taken feels like endless pressure. Yet still this holiday endures in all its commercial glory, as it has done so for hundreds of years, with showing no signs of stopping!

Our annual day of love hosts mysterious origins, that were far from romantic. According to a National Geographic article, Valentine’s Day found its beginnings in Roman Pagan rituals where sometime in the month of February, “Men would strip naked and sacrifice a goat and dog. Young boys would then take strips of hide from the sacrificed animals and use it to whip young women, to promote fertility.’ In the 14th century it was reshaped into a celebration of two possible St Valentines, both Christian martyrs, with the date being that of their supposed death. It wasn’t until Chaucer created a link between this date and love that the day began to have romantic connotations. Shakespeare further strengthened this link with his mentions of Valentine’s Day in his plays referring to romance.

So, it seems like the rituals we know today had a sweet start in literature. But when did Valentines catch the same commercialised cold that Christmas has been long since afflicted by? It was the US Revolutionary War that popularised sending Valentines cards, when sweethearts would send handwritten notes to minimize the distance between them before they became mass produced in the early 1900s. Perhaps that is the issue with Valentine’s Day; romantic gestures that had their roots in genuine affection have been corrupted by becoming widespread expectations. We have chosen a cold day in February to celebrate our most precious ones. And yet a holiday that is supposed to celebrate love is one that makes people feel more stressed and inadequate than ever (with the exception of Christmas).

What if we did things differently? Why shouldn’t we appreciate our loved ones all year round? Why should you need a specific day to buy chocolate or flowers? It would mean a lot more if you surprised your partner with a gorgeous bouquet on a dreary Tuesday afternoon. Or said “hey I’m taking you out to dinner tonight, just because” after a long hard week in March. The best gifts are the most unexpected ones after all.

But life takes over, thus we constantly neglect those that we should appreciate the most. So perhaps having a designated day to show love isn’t so bad. Though maybe instead of showering our loved ones with wilting petrol station bouquets and boxes of Lindor Belgian, we could use this day to show our love in other ways. Perhaps write a poem for your girlfriend who accuses you of being unromantic. Or how about an act of service? Maybe we should consider that men receiving flowers should be as normal as women receiving them.

Just because you don’t have romantic love in your life, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate other kinds on this day. Last year, my friends and I celebrated Galentine’s words by: Laura Wallace Schjoett design by: Ananya Ranjit

Day to band together and banish any feelings of sadness surrounding our collective singleness and/or heartbreak. We ate takeaway and enjoyed a cosy evening in each other’s company. The emergence of new ways to celebrate this day are helping to crush the sense of inadequacy that can arise on Valentine’s.

It can be particularly difficult seeing endless photos of roses and jewellery on people’s Instagram stories during this time. If you’re still reeling from a breakup or feeling particularly bitter about love, it may be a good day to avoid social media, even if IRL lovebirds are harder to avoid! Yet this doesn’t mean it has to be all doom and gloom for singletons. If cupid hasn’t shot his arrow at you this year, why not grab your friends and go for brunch? Call your parents and tell them you love them. Surprise your housemate with a bottle of their favourite wine.

My most memorable Valentine’s Day took place in primary school, when my 6-year-old boyfriend Callum wrote me a brief card with a teddy bear on the front. I still keep it in a box, fifteen years later. Maybe we’ve lost sight of the fact that ostentatiousness isn’t a measure of our love for someone; simplicity is more than enough.

So, this Valentine’s, find your way to show love. Even if it’s just to yourself.