Garfield Messenger: Volume 101, Issue 8

THE MESSENGER

Cover by Daniel Cumming

STAFF

Asmaa Bah

Amirah Melvin

Ali Merz

S. Avalon Leonard

Chelsea Li

Eli Silver

Finian Guinney

Fiona Real

George Martin

Griffin Crabs

Havana Hakala

Imbie Jones

Jeremy Cogswell

Jordana King

Kennedy Greenfelder

Leo Carlin

Lea Shaw

Lillian Small

Lucy Gaines

Marisa Valenzano

Mia Andreeva

Michelle Tong

Nikhil Choudhury

Olivia Thompson

Sly Gross-Hamburger

Unity Jirkovsky-Gual

EDITORS

Lakelle Bridges · Editor-in-Chief

Maile Quenzer · Graphics & Layout

Mairead Averill · News, Feature, Opinion

Tess Wahl · News, Feature, Opinion

Ellen Taylor · Arts & Entertainment

Taylor Gale · Arts & Entertainment

Mika Ichikawa · Sports

Eden Huschle · Social Media

Sydney Steinwinder · Business

Your contributions help make the production and publication of The Messenger possible. If you would like to support The Messenger, please contact us at garfieldmessenger@gmail. com, or scan the QR code to subscribe.

Flyer by Virginia Buckley

LESSONS IN LUXURY

An Inside Look into Seattle’s Private Schools.

By: Mia Andreeva, Lucy Gaines, Mairead Averill

About 1 in every 5 Seattle students are enrolled in private school, according to a 2020 report by the Seattle Times. As Seattle Public Schools project a deficit of $190 million dollars in funding, and Seattle’s household income gap grows greater

HOLY NAMES ACADEMY

On the front page of the Holy Names Academy website, you can see their mission stated: “to inspire young women of diverse beliefs and backgrounds to excel in life with confidence and courage.” Former Holy Names and current Garfield student Flora Vall-Spinosa believes that this mission statement is fairly exaggerated. Holy Names has a strict dress code, includ ing rules about no dyed hair. Vall-Spino - sa did not appreci- ate the regulations surrounding hair and decided to show up one day to school with bright blue hair in retaliation. “[The administration] was not happy with me,” Vall-Spinosa stated. “I actually used their mission statement against them in my email about dyed hair.” You can now spot Flora in the Garfield hallways sporting the brightest blue hair.

Holy Names Academy is not afraid of academic rigor, and AP exams seem to be a measurement of success at the academy. All students enrolled in AP classes are required to take the corresponding AP exam, their exam statistics on the second page of their school profile, with HNA students outperforming the global averages by a huge margin. It’s clear that HNA is academically intense, and some former students think it goes too far. Both Vall-Spinosa and Gracie Larson are former HNA students who transferred to Garfield. They agree that there was high pressure to perform well. “The thing I love about Garfield is how much less stressed and miserable I am. The HNA pressure to succeed and excel was overwhelming, and I have found Garfield academics a lot more relaxed. People’s attitude towards school is very different at Garfield; it does not seem to be a priority in the way it was at HNA. However, I am very appreciative of the academic skills I learned in private education.” Larson stated.

every year, the difference between private and public education grows ever so stark. While private schools boast high academic enrichment and a greater teacher to staff ratio, are they also bubbles of privilege that exclude students from the “real world”?

THE LAKESIDE SCHOOL

The Lakeside School has a reputation for expecting excellence and is known for their college counseling team. The college prep process starts as early as sophomore year at Lakeside, when the counselors present a powerpoint to get students thinking about colleges. At Lakeside, there are 2 counselors per every 8 students, one for mental health and one for college counseling. Junior year, Lakeside students get assigned college counselors, with meetings roughly once a month. These meetings become as frequent as every 1-2 weeks during senior year. When asked what to describe the college counselors role, Lakeside Junior Khalil Wilkinson stated, “[The counselors] are there to work with your parents and suggest which schools you should apply to. They help you think about what extracurriculars you should take, and which schools you should apply early to.” The counselors provide students with a list of colleges to apply to based on their career aspirations, life goals, and personal wants. In addition they prepare a list of internships, and extracurriculars to participate in, in order for the student to get into their top college. This extensive college prep process is what makes Lakeside a feeder into top universities such as Stanford and MIT. Withholding from college is almost not an option for Lakeside students, “I would say there is a very high pressure to go to college, basically everyone goes on to do some type of higher education. There definitely is some pressure to get into highly tive colleges, but it’s not an insane amount” Wilkinson said when asked to describe the social environment surrounding colleges at Lakeside. The school culture at Lakeside reflects this rigor, “My least favorite part about this school is the intensity. There is a lot of pressure,

How much of a difference does your educa tion make? We asked students from around the Seattle area about their experiences with private education.

it almost feels like everyone is really good at something, like there is someone in my advisory who has multiple world records for solving Rubrik’s cubes, and another classmate is the best tennis player in the state. It does feel very intense, and the academics are very intense, there’s a culture of constantly pushing yourself.” Wilkinson explained. He later added that the support from the teacher faculty makes the intensity bearable, stating, “The teachers are there because they really care about you. They’re passionate about what they’re teaching, and it feels like they’re there to support you.”

THE BUSH SCHOOL

The Bush School; home to the mighty Blazers, support dogs, and a Nordic ski team. Outside activities seem to be a staple at Bush, with yearly “field trips” to different camp-sites around the Seattle area. Bush Senior Ethan Lapin stated, “At the start of the year, every grade goes on a retreat. We normally go to different camps and do bonding activities for a day or two.” On top of this, Bush hosts the only high school cross-country ski team in Seattle, with ski trips to their extensive 20-acre campus in Mazama, WA.

While the academics at Bush are rigorous, the social environment surrounding academic performance is quite supportive. According to Lapin, most Bush students care about their grades, and for a lot of students that means maintaining a 4.0. However, ever, “At Bush we do have almost inflated grades. Bush has a lot of systems in place, making it hard to get anything lower than a B-. But on the other end of the spectrum, a 4.0 is pretty hard to maintain,” Lapin stated. These systems in place include three college counselors, two wellness counselors,

While for most students the silver lining of sickness is the opportunity to miss school, Lakesiders get to experience the thrill of zooming around the hallways on their infamous COVID bots (an iPad on wheels).

three learning specialists and two support dogs. A lot of the support also comes from the student body, especially in athletics. Bush hosts “Blazer Bashes’’ (A.K.A tailgates) for each sport. “We try to support each other in everything, we try to be show up and show out, ”Lapin said when asked about Bush’s school spirit.

BISHOP BLANCHET

The recently renamed Bishop Blanchet is one of many Catholic schools in the Seattle area. While this does mean that students partake in regular religious practices during school hours, there’s much more to the school than its catholic focus. Mckay feel that the Blanchet staff really care about their students, and try to cultivate a sense of legacy and pride throughout the school. Like Garfield, many of the staff at Blanchet attended the school as teenagers. However the reputation of Blanchet is certainly not one of diversity, according to Blanchet senior Eliot Mckay, “There are like no black people at my school, it’s pretty ass.. Like literally my one black friend graduat - ed last year. ” This issue of diversity further feeds the fire of another as- pect of the Blanchet so- cial scene: the clique- ness. According to Mckay the school is composed of set friend groups that remain unbroken from middle school. Despite the issues within the culture of the school, Blanchet does a good job at ensuring their students feel supported, fostering a “no student left behind” policy. Students are all expected to maintain as close to a 4.0 as possible. “Last year I dropped the ball with my grades second semester and my teachers really helped me get it back together and figure out how to get my GPA good again.,” said Mckay.

Graphics by Lucy Gaines

TRAGEDY IN TURKEY

Earthquake strikes the Turkey and Syrian border.

By Unity Jirkovsky-Gual

On Monday February 6, 2023, the first of two quakes struck the southeast corner of the Turkey/ Syrian border followed by aftershocks on February 20 and 27. With the current death toll at 50,000 and over $34.2 billion in damages, communities in Turkey and Syria work towards rebuilding and repairing after such a tragedy.

The most destructive of the quakes was measured at a 7.8 in magnitude scale, meaning the quake was felt across a large distance with significant damage. Being Turkey’s first major earthquake in the last 200 years, it has rocked the world and is the strongest earthquake in Turkey history. On Monday, the recorded death toll tallied at 35,000 and continued rising as the rescue workers arrived on sites to save as many people as possible. Some deaths will forever remain uncounted as people buried their dead without taking them to the hospital.

The lack of enforced building codes and inadequate construction made the earthquake more dangerous than it should have been. “The [earthquake] resistant infrastructure is unfortunately patchy in South Turkey and especially Syria,” said risk-communication specialist Dr. Carmen Solana to the BBC. Turkey has arrested almost 200 people that were suspects of not following construction regulations, after over 100,000 buildings collapsed in the quake. Many of the buildings’ deficient foundations caused the buildings to fall in a pancake effect, which resulted in widespread destruction and made it more difficult to rescue civilians. Smallscaled errors in design or overlooked inspections can change the amount of collapsed buildings and the ability to rescue people. Syrian president Bashar Al-Assad has been accused of exploiting the tragedy in order to gain international aid in the midst of Syr-

INVESTING: MANSPLAINED

By Jeremy Cogswell

Investing: getting rich by doing nothing. Sounds great right? It’s not as easy as it looks, but I’ll make a simple guide that even an idiot could understand.

The number one rule of investing is that it takes money to make money. I suggest asking your dad for a small loan of a million dollars. Although any amount of money invested can grow large over time due to the power of compounding. If you have the money, real estate is the way to go. Take advantage of the tax laws written by real estate investors. However, if you’re still lacking millionaire status, investing in stocks is the easiest way to get there.

What is a stock?

Stocks can be described simply as small

pieces of a company. By purchasing a unit of stock (commonly referred to as a share) in a company, you become entitled to a portion of the company’s assets and profit.

How do I make money?

You can make money from owning stock in a company in two ways. One way is the company declaring a dividend to shareholders. A dividend is when the company directly pays some or all of their profits to shareholders. Most companies pay dividends quarterly (4 times a year). The second way you can make money is share-price appreciation. If the company is performing well, other investors will view your piece of the company, and its rights to the company’s profits, as more valuable and you will be able to sell this

ia’s civil war.

The U.S. House of Representatives approved a resolution mourning the deaths of the many citizens that passed away and awarded the heroic effort of the healthcare and rescue workers. Many citizens have also been mourning in their own way. Thousands of stuffed animals were thrown on the field at a Besiktas soccer game in Turkey to honor the many children that had passed. Fundraisers all around the world have been established to contribute to repair the many damages.

Despite aid to the region in the immediate aftermath, over a million people are still homeless and awaiting help. Thousands of people whose homes have been destroyed must rely on humanitarian aid to survive. With millions of tons in rubble it will be many years before Turkey and Syria can rebuild and repair the damage of the disaster.

Art by Unity Jirkovsky-Gual

stock for more than you paid for it.

How do I get started?

You need to be 18 to open your own investment account. However, if you are under 18, your parent or guardian can open a custodial account for you. This account will initially be under your parent or guardian’s name, but control will be transferred to you when you come of age.

How do I choose what to invest in?

An investment strategy that has stood the test of time is buying great companies at fair prices. Think of a great company, or one that you believe to be well positioned for the future. Say you are an iPhone user and want to invest in Apple (NASDAQ: APPL). Apple makes the best phones,

they are obviously a great company; but how do you tell if Apple is fairly priced? One of the easiest ways to gauge if the price is fair is looking at the price to earnings ratio (P/E). This is simply the company’s total value divided by their profit in the most recent year. The lower the value, the more money the company is making relative to its price, and therefore the better for its investors. A common range of P/E would be 20-28 with anything lower being cheap and anything above being expensive (Apple’s P/E is ~ 25).

How to get rich by doing nothing.

YOUR HEALTH ON YOUR TERMS

The many services of Garfield’s Teen Health Center.

By Imbie Jones

Medical care, nutritional services and mental health counseling are just a few things the teen health center provides! The Garfield Teen Health Center (GTHC) is located on the first floor of Garfield to the left of the main office in room 102. The office hours are from 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. The THC is operated by Seattle children’s staff and is sponsored by Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic, Seattle Public Schools and King County’s Public Health Department. The Health center provides lots of different services, ALL free to Garfield students due to the funding from the Cities of Seattle’s Families and Education levy. The THC is a

safe space and judgment-free zone where teens can feel comfortable talking about personal issues. When many teens find topics like sexual or mental health awkward or taboo to talk about, extensive information is made accessible and free at the Teen Health Center. Upon entry, the office immediately feels very inviting. There are lots of signs, posters and brochures around the room available to students to learn about a variety of health-related issues, or seek out additional resources. The Center makes an obvious effort to feel less like your typical doctor’s office. Inside the front door there is even a little table of grab and go’s like period products and condoms.

DUMPLINGS NOT DISPLACEMENT

The Health Center has four different providers on their staff, three nurse practitioners, a mental health counselor, and a nutritionist along with the clinic coordinator. All these different specialized staff make it very easy and accessible for students to get help with any care that they may need. Students must provide full parental consent in order to receive services such as vaccinations or injuries, but other services like contraceptives and STD treatment are confidential services between the THC and the student, thanks to a WA state law that states that youth may access reproductive health care anytime and at any age, without parent/guardian consent. Garfield’s

The fight against Sound Transit’s proposed Chinatown station.

By Leo Carlin

In the early spring of 2022, Sound Transit, Seattle’s public transport authority, released plans to extend the Link Light Rail system by building a new route from Ballard to West Seattle. These plans included building a new station right in the heart of the beloved Chinatown-International District (CID), alongside the currently existing one. There are many benefits to improved public transit in any community. Increased access to small community businesses, decreased automobile dependence, just to name a few. However, as JSA president Tula Kurashige emphasizes, “public transport is important…but it cannot come at the expense of a community.” For Sound Transit’s plans for a new station in the CID, the importance of public transport will directly come at the expense of the CID as a community.

Kurashige and CSA co-president Olivia Fann called the CID “one of the most culturally and historically significant places…a place with intergenerational impact.” For the entire Seattle AAPI community, the CID is a space for heritage, identity, family, and food. The long-term residents and small businesses are the heart of the com-

munity. Without them, the CID would exist only as a mark on a map.

There is no question about the physical effects of constructing a new link light rail station in CID. Construction would directly displace around a dozen small, local businesses and many residents right in the core of the CID. The decade of construction would adversely affect air and noise pollution levels. Large trucks carrying dirt and debris away from the construction site would routinely need to pass through the CID and its small, pedestrian-oriented roads. Bus routes already crucial to public transport in the CID would be rerouted away from construction.

The CID has always faced oppression. When the first Chinese immigrants settled in Seattle in the 1860s, they established a small community on the waterfront near Yesler’s Mill. Race riots by white-supremacist mobs in 1886 and a fire in 1889 forced the community further inland, around Washington St. and 2nd Ave S. As downtown Seattle grew, land values rose, and the community was forced to move

again, to its present-day location around S King St. In the 1950s, the construction of I-5 tore the community into two parts with a fifteen-lane strip of concrete. In the 1970s, the Kingdome Stadium construction threatened to turn the CID into an asphalt parking lot. In the 1980s, the construction of the original downtown Metro Bus tunnel, which is currently used by Link Light Rail, displaced many small Asian-American businesses, only to have them never return. Less visible is the threat of gentrification, where land values and rents rise to levels unaffordable to the CIDs low-income residents, forcing them out. Building a new station will only serve to displace, disrupt, and destroy the community even further. Fann says that the CID, in the eyes of Sound Transit, is only “a convenient location to put a station geographically…It felt careless.”

Time and time again, the CID community has banded together to preserve their community. It is fighting for itself again. Community leaders, business owners, and long-time residents led a coalition calling for re-

Teen Health Center’s primary focus is to provide healthcare to students who do not have health in surance coverage or have not recently seen a primary care provider. Since the office is within the school building, students can come on a daily basis. The Teen Health Center makes sure that no student feels that they cannot access care.

Appointments can be made in person at the teen health center of by calling their office at 206-860-0680

vision of Sound Transit’s plans. Kurashige highlights how unity in the CID shows the “power of the voice of the [CID].” and sets “important precedents for community coalition building.” A month ago, Sound Transit released revised plans that also contained potential to move the new station outside of the CID, though the choice deemed by Sound Transit to “maximize community benefits while minimizing costs and impacts” would still cause irreversible damage to the heart of the CID, destroying part of Seattle’s culture in the process.

The CID, Sound Transit, and this issue are a lot more nuanced, dark, and beautiful than a single article can describe. Sound Transit’s website, the CID Coalition Instagram account humbows_not_hotels, and a smattering of news articles from every Seattle newspaper are great sources of research. Sound Transit is a government-run entity, which means it will listen to the voice of the people. Students can add their voices to the conversation through public comment sessions anybody can participate in, or online surveys sent out by Sound Transit. Public transit will shape a community, but a community can also shape public transit.

Graphic by Leo Carlin

Graphic by Mia Andreeva

CHILLY DAWGS A plunge into the benefits of cold immersion therapy and how to get started.

By Griffin Crabs

Imagine: It’s a Sunday morning, brain fog is running rampant and you’re feeling drained from an exuberant Saturday night. You have a pile of homework waiting to be completed but you’re lacking motivation. What’s one thing you can do to boost your energy and motivation levels? A COLD PLUNGE.

Cold plunges have gained a lot of traction recently, with many people preaching about the benefits of cold immersion therapy. But are they really as good for you as they are made out to be? The scientific evidence of cold immersion is extensive, with many people going to the extreme of putting their body under intense freezing temperatures to test the effects of the plunge. But if you’re not up for enduring extreme temperatures like Cold Expert Wim Hof, then a quick dip into Lake Washington will suffice in getting your cold immersion therapy in.

So what are these insane benefits from simply jumping into some cold water? Cold plunging can improve muscle recovery, cardiovascular circulation, and strengthen your immune system. Cold plunges can be a game changer for athletes who are looking for a way to tame that post-workout soreness. The plunges can help athletes recover quicker,trimming down their turnaround time and getting them playing a lot quicker. Apart from the physical benefits of it, there are a lot of mental benefits as well, such as increased production of mood-boosting hormones, neurotransmitters, and boosted energy levels.

Entering into the world of cold plunges can be daunting. Actually getting into the cold water can take some courage, but taking small steps to get there can make it more manageable. The best way to start is with

PUTTING THE ART IN ARTIFICIAL

cold showers, it’s a great way of getting into cold plunging and to start your morning feeling energized and awake. Then, once you’re ready you can move to submerging your body in a cold lake of your choosing. To reap the full benefits of the cold immersion, it is advised to do two to four sessions per week of a total time of eleven minutes, but honestly just one session of getting in the cold wa ter is enough to make you feel accomplished. If you want to up grade from the lake then you can find a cold tank at a gym or buy a cold plunge tub that you can keep at your home and will be much colder than the lake temperature.

The debate on artificial intelligence in media.

By Havana Hakala

Artificial intelligence has become increasingly accessible, from text generators online to filters on TikTok. What AI generators do is mass search online for images that fit a selected prompt, then combine them to further represent the subject, producing several designs in varying styles (i.e. photo of the Eiffel Tower with a purple sky). But this revolution in AI generation comes accusations of theft, plagiarization, and artistic erasure.

Anti-AI hashtags and projects have trended on multiple social media platforms, with thousands of likes and shares. Artists who share their work online have wiped them completely from the internet out of fear of theft. But AI continues to override, especially since art-centered applications like ArtStation are allowing AI-generated art to trend over professional artists, causing waves of protest.

Though this doesn’t stop artists–both first-time and full-time–from launching their own AI exhibitions, like in the case of DALL-E, a free AI art generator online. DALL-E recently held their own gallery in 2022 dedicated to artists partnering with their site. This recent development in AI has sparked controversies, as some of the art pieces are centered around artificial copies of famous works, such as Girl with a Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer. DALL-E states that since their AI is “[extending] the original image, creating large-scale images in aspect ratio” (known as Outpainting), it isn’t considered plagiarizing. Outpainting can be used to “recreate” iconic portraits with different settings or different subjects (i.e. Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci underwater, The Kiss by Gustav Klimt with two cats, Brittany Spears painted in the style of Van Gogh).

As expected, the website garnered attention from authentic creators who believe that progression in AI will debilitate “real art” and erase artistic appreciation. This was only magnified when game developer and amateur artist Jason Allen entered Colorado State Fair’s annual art competition with his AI piece “Théâtre D’opéra Spatial.” The depiction of other worldly creatures inspired from Frank Herbert’s Dune took home first place, making it the first–and likely not the last–AI artwork to win a prize. This feat, while successful for those in the technology of AI, undermines the commissions of other artists who have spent countless hours perfecting their craft.

With new inventions being made in tech, art continues to evolve with it. “Real art” means something different to each viewer: modern artists like Yayoi Kusama would have been discredited hundreds of years ago, today she is celebrated worldwide.

You may be asking, where can I do these cold plunges? Well honestly anywhere there is water. Some good places to do it are beaches like Mount Baker Beach, Madrona Beach, Seward ocks, the are endThe best way to attack getting into the water is to wade in. You can also jump dock, but it’s more dangerous as it can send your body into shock. Wading in allows for your body to get used to it or you can just sprint into the water which is a nice middle ground.

So if you’re feeling up for the challenge, get out there and jump in the water!

While artificial art is undeniably less powerful as the Renaissance, technology will continue to invade the world of visual art and literature.

Art by Lily Collet

Art generated by DALL-E with the prompt “Cartoon Bulldog”

Examining the culture Garfield’s Jazz and Orchestra

Garfield High School is histor ically notorious for its jazz pro gram. Led by Jared Sessink, the band was recently accepted as one of fifteen to compete in debatably the most prestigious highschool jazz festival in the country– Essen tially Ellington.

lington and other musicians from that era. “It’s a little bit like jazz foot ball, you have to know the game,” Sessink jokes. Out of hundreds that apply, only three bands from the northwest region are accepted to the competition.

people is such a great opportunity,” Barr-Clingan reflected.

The Jazz Band schedule is packed, with the festival being only one of the several performanc-

want the band to continue to work towards whatever goals they have and then just put as much joy on that stage as possible,” Sessink shared. He can be confident that his band has lived up to his hopes. Barr-Clingan says that both her electives are music related, and that’s on top of having morning sectionals and her individual practice. She emphasizes her enthusiastic outlook on this, “I don’t mind because music is an outlet for me, so it’s not a burden. It’s more like something I get to do.”

The commutative atmosphere of the music department as a whole is shared by both students and teachers. Barr-Clingan expressed, “I think that everyone has a shared passion and knows that they can

Club has performances after school sometimes.” Sessink is confident that his band will represent Garfield justly. “I want us to be represented as authentically as possible. It has always come back to joy and love and just trying to be as authentic as we can possibly be.” And that is exactly the reason why people rave about the jazz program. “Garfield is such a unique school and I know that they’ll represent Garfield [well] just because of who they are.”

This year those schools include Garfield, Roosevelt, and Bothell High School–all in the Seattle area. According to Sessink, this is no coincidence given that all of these schools are in one of the only regions to offer daytime jazz instruction as a class. Sophomore Miep Barr-Clingan who plays trombone in the jazz band notes that sectionals (small group practice) played a big part in preparing for the competition. “If you can’t get along with people you’re playing with, there’s no way to sound together and have the right vibes,” she remarked. Nonetheless, it is a huge honor to be invited to compete in New York. “I know if we hadn’t gotten in, the hard

es that are coming their way. For their concert in Quincy Jones on March 29th, they’re working hard on music they picked out as a band from the Essentially Ellington library. Two days following, the ensemble will be showing up as one of the top five high school jazz bands in the state for the 26th annual Hot Java Cool Jazz event, a Starbucks sponsored event at the Paramount Theatre.

What truly separates the Garfield Jazz program from others is the culture and sense of community surrounding it. Above all, Sessink values his musicians and the passion they share for their craft. “I just

learn things from each other.”

The jazz program subtly contributes to the lively environment at Garfield– more commonly known as the Bulldog spirit. Music can almost always be heard coming from the band room at any point in the day, even before school hours. Barr-Clingan agrees, noting that the music department contributes to Garfield in its own subtle ways, “You can always walk by the music rooms and hear some sort of loud noises coming out of them– Drumline and Pep Band at sports games, choir singing in the halls during holiday season, Jazz occasionally at the assemblies, and Chamber Music

Composed mostly of seniors, this particular jazz band happens to have a special place in their director’s heart. Barr-Clingan recalls her time back in middle school, “I always looked up to the Garfield Jazz program. Hearing all about Essentially Ellington, I just thought how much fun that looked like. I still feel that way. It’s a great program in my opinion and it’s amazing to be a part of it.” The core of the Jazz band has been playing with Sessink since their time at Washington Middle School, which attributes to the pure chemistry they share on stage. “It literally feels like a family. It feels like there is an extreme amount of established trust that allows us to go way past what a normal student would experience being in a class with new people” Sessink remarked.

HOUNDS

culture and success of Orchestra Programs.

An often overlooked yet extremely talented part of Garfield music is its orchestra program. The program consists of three levels, freshman, concert, and symphony orchestra. The freshman orchestra introduces students to the program and sets a baseline skill level. From there, students can either enter the concert orchestra, or audition into the more selective and challenging symphony orchestra. The program has numerous concerts throughout the year. Their regular concerts where they play classical music for the community, the Pops Concert, in which they play movie and pop songs, the Winter Waltz, which acts as a fundraiser and school dance, and the Senior Concerto Concert, in which seniors are given the opportunity to play a solo while being backed up by the orchestra.

The orchestra’s year will be highlighted by a trip to Los Angeles in late March. Joined by Garfield’s Symphonic Band, the Symphony Orchestra has a packed itinerary. The trip will consist of recording a movie soundtrack at Disneyland, listening to the LA Philharmonic perform in their famous Frank Gehry built concert hall, touring the campus of USC, and working with the music director of the USC Thornton School of Music, Larry Livingston. Garfield orchestra Director Bryan Kolk hopes that students see this trip as an op-

portunity to experience the music as well as the culture of another part of the country. “I think both are kind of equally important - to experience the musical life of anoth er community, but also the culture of what it’s like to live and just engage as a human in Los Angeles.”

Miep Barr-Cl ingan

who plays trombone in not only Jazz Band but also Symphony Orchestra shares, “I’m looking forward to collaborating with Symphonic Band. Even though the ensembles are pretty different, I think we have similar musical styles and it will be fun to work together.”

Violinist Athena Brkanac also expressed her expectations for the trip, hoping to get to know her fellow orchestra members better. “Orchestra is the only class where I could not name everyone,” Brkanac stated. This disconnect between students is understandable, as orchestra is one of the largest classes in the entire school. “I’m looking forward to some great community bonding with my peers,” she added. Brkanac also hopes this inspires the orchestra to enter more competitions. “I feel like that’s something our orchestra is missing that we had in the past,” she said.

This lack of entering competitions

change was the pandemic. As an activity that relies heavily on musicians being in the same room and collaborating with each other, transitioning to remote learning for a year made rehearsing together essentially impossible, and Kolk says the orchestra is still feeling the effects of that. “Now that we’re together in school, there’s many ways that we interact with each other that are different than they might’ve been.”

Another change the orchestra has faced is changes with the HCC program. Students in HCC tend to have more financial opportunities; musicians in the program are more likely to have access to private lessons, and therefore may have more experience on their instrument. The HCC program would historically bring students, and these more experienced musicians, from all around the city into Garfield. Now, Garfield has become less of an HCC feeder and more of a neighborhood school, so it has been receiving less musicians who take private lessons. As a result, the orchestras now contain a very broad range of skill levels. Howev-

er, Kolk believes this has created an extremely unique and beneficial culture within the program, allowing students to teach and learn from one another. “The opportunity to be a model for each other and also to be a student of other students, I think that’s an integral part of every levsician, and I think it’s part of the culture of the orchestra program here,” Kolk said. Brkanac agreed, stating, “The range [of skill level] is important. You need different opinions in an ensemble.”

Overall, the orchestra plays a special part in the Garfield community. “[It’s] a space where people can express themselves through music”, Brkanac said. “Someone who’s never befriended an orchestral musician or gone to an orchestra concert immediately thinks of it as a very stuffy, formal thing…and I would hope everyone could see orchestra as something that is part of their life every day,” Kolk remarked. “I would hope that anybody walking by our hall would feel safe and welcome to open the door and listen and enjoy.”

By Jordana King, Chelsea Li, Finian Guinney Graphics by Jordana King and Havana Hakala

A&E

MSCHF, MORE THAN BIG RED BOOTS

It’s not about the money,

By George Martin

Over the past few weeks it feels like the biggest release in sneakers has not even come from a sneaker brand. Pictures of big red Astro Boy inspired boots have been flooding Instagram and Tiktok, in a fusion of real life and cartoon. They have been seen on the feet of influencers such as Johnny Dang, (aka The King of Bling), Sarah F*cking Snyder, Trinidad James, Lil Wayne, Coi Leray, Shai, Diplo, Wisdom Kaye, Iggy Azalea, Fivio Foreign, Rich

The Kid and Pardison Fontaine amongst many others, all within the span of a couple weeks. The boots were released for $350 on the MSCHF website February 16, and sold out almost instantly. If someone missed out on the release and wants to get a pair now it would cost them upwards of $1,200.

But MSCHF is much more than a shoe brand. They call themselves an artist collective and their mediums expand from sneaker release to full art galleries and installations. They were formed in 2019 and by 2022, MSCHF had opened their first gallery at Art Basel in Miami. One of

it’s

about the MSCHF.

the exhibits contained remakes of popular and iconic sneakers, constructed as if they were being seen through a wavy distortion filter. Another exhibit was a hole in the wall with rapper 24kgolden’s actual arm sticking through on display for fans to touch. But the real star of the exhibit was a fully working ATM that took pictures of the users when they inserted their card and then placed them on a leaderboard and displayed their bank account balance next to their picture. At #1 was DJ Diplo with a balance of $3,004,913.06.

But perhaps MSCHF’s most successful marketing strategy has been getting sued. It seems like many of MSCHF’s drops involve taking a piece of iconic intellectual property and flipping it somehow. Back in 2019 one of the first things they released was a pair of Nike Air Max 97s with catholic imagery and holy water in the air bubble so you can walk on water. This shoe got them a good amount of attention, although it did not get them sued.

However, in 2022 they adopted a similar

AND THE AWARD GOES TO…

concept. They took the same shoe model but this time collaborated with Lil Nas X to release a devil shoe with 666 and a penta gram on it, and a mix of red dye and just a little bit of human blood in the air bub ble of each shoe. When Complex asked where the blood came from, MSCHF’s co creator Daniel Greenberg replied “Myself and some of my co-work ers, Not the best way, to say the least,” he said. “I could tell you; it’s just kind of graph ic. But, like, not by any means a good way of doing it.

Although MSCHF got by scot free from Nike for their Jesus shoe, Nike doesn’t play with the devil’s name. When the shoe dropped, many people didn’t understand that it was not created by Nike and threatened to boycott the brand. In an effort to distance themself from the project and the devil, Nike filed suit against MSCHF. Eventually they were able to settle and MSCHF was ordered to send out a voluntary recall and offer a full refund of over $1,018 on all

A breakdown of three prominent award shows this season.

By Marisa Valenzano

Golden Globes: January

10th awarded by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association since 1944, the Golden Globes recognize excellence in American and international film and television. Members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association vote on the nominees and winners from films and TV shows released in the calendar year (Jan 1 - Dec 31). The Banshees of Inisherin ended up taking home the most wins with three, in cluding Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy while Everything erywhere All at Once and Fabelmans tied with two wins each. Abbott Elemen tary won three of five awards with The White Lotus fol lowing closely behind with two wins. This 2023 Golden Globe’s marked a revitalized comeback as many stars boycotted the 2022 awards in protest over the HFPA’s questionable practices and overall lack of diversity. The organization was criticized for corrup-

tion, bribery, and a lack of Black members. The organization has since apologized, with Black comedian Jerrod Carmichael as the invited host. Whale nominee Brendan Fraser did not attend because in 2018 he came forth with a sexual assault allegation against a former president of the HFPA.

Grammys: February 5th

The Grammy awards are presented by Recording Academy of the United States to recognize “outstanding” achievements in the music industry. They are regarded by many as the most prestigious awards in the music industry worldwide. Lizzo won record of the year with “About Damn Time,” Bonnie Raitt took home song of the year with “Just Like That,” Harry Styles won Album of the Year, and Best New Artist was awarded to Samara Joy. The selection process for the GRAMMY Awards was altered last May, following very public criticisms from The Weeknd when he didn’t win. The show

no longer uses anonymous review committees to determine its nominees, yet, this year’s awards still saw famous artists such as Drake and Silk Sonic decline to submit their music for consideration in protest. The album of the year catego sparked intense discourse online when Harry Styles won over Beyonce. Things only got worse for the white British superstar when he claimed, “this doesn’t happen to people like me very often,” in his acceptance speech. Howev er, Beyonce did break the record for most Grammys won all-time by an artist with an astounding total of 32 Awards to her name.

SAG Awards: February 26th

Screen Actors Guild Awards, known as SAG Awards, are accolades given by the Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA). Since its founding, SAG Awards have been one of the major awards events in the Hollywood film industry, and is unique in that it’s the only ceremony that exclusively honors the actors. To little sur-

666 pairs of sold out shoes. But, ultimately, this lawsuit helped both parties because Nike was able to distance themself from the projand MSCHF received a lot more attention including an article in the New York Times. While MSCHF may be known for their Big or Devil shoes, there is much more intention work than the casual observ- er might know.

prise, this year, Everything Everywhere All at Once took home multiple awards on the night. Not only did the film win for the Motion Picture Cast category, but its stars Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan won for Female Actor in a Leading Role and Male Actor in a Supporting Role, the first time an Asian had won in either award. A heartwarming acceptance speech from James Hongfurther summarized the emotions of the night. He spoke of yellow face and other racist behavior he has witnessed over his career, and how proud he was of the movie and cast for overcoming those experiences. While diversity still has a long way to go within award shows and production, Everything Everywhere All at Once proves things are headed in a positive direction.

Graphic by Olivia Thompson

Graphic by Fiona Real

The Last Of Us is set in the United States after a fungal pandemic causes a full-on zombie apocalypse. It follows Joel, a hardened survivalist who lost his daughter when the virus first broke out, and Ellie, a 14 year-old who is immune, and potentially humanity’s last hope in beating the virus. The duo cross the country to get Ellie to the doctors, who claim they can use her to make a cure, slowly forming a father-daughter relationship in the process.

The story was originally a video game developed by Naughty Dog and released in 2013. It was a smash hit, winning four awards and selling 37 million copies between the original and its sequel, the Last of Us 2.

The much-anticipated TV adaptation, teased years ago, finally released January 15 of this year, and immediately took off. The premier alone garnered 4.7 million viewers, and a second season has already been confirmed, even before the release of the final episode in season one. The ninth and final episode is set to release March 12.

Creating shows that already have an established audience is a fantastic idea, but it can easily go wrong. Video games in particular have a long history of adaptations that fall flat, especially in the eyes of the communities most looking forward to it. To combat this, Niel Druckmann, the writer and creative director for the video games, was deeply involved in the creative process for the series. While some changes still have been controversial, the majority of fans believe the TV show has only elevated the main story by expanding on elements that were more forgettable in the game.

In the show, nearly an entire episode is devoted to the story of how the doomsday prepper and the seemingly average Frank met and fell in love, the forces they had to face to keep their idyllic life, how they helped Joel, and how, when Frank falls fatally ill, Bill chooses to die alongside him. Ellie and Joel never speak to Bill in the show, instead finding a letter he wrote them, telling Joel, “I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong. Because there was one person worth saving.” The stark change from the original storyline in the game, where Bill and Frank’s relationship is toxic and only mentioned in passing, serves to accentuate one of the most important topics and themes within the series: how love and caring for people is innately human, and how it persists through even the most dire of circumstances.

The show is heartfelt and at times gut-wrenchingly tragic, with humor sprinkled throughout to make it clear that even at the end of the world, humanity and love still shines through.

A&E

Fatal Fungi Ferocious Felines Fighting Ants

By: Ali Merz, Sly Gross-Hamburger, Lillian Small

‘Puss in Boots: The Last Wish’, released on December 21, 2022, has accrued overwhelming popularity. The Last Wish has a star-studded cast, with Antonio Banderas as Puss, alongside Olivia Colman, Florence Pugh, Harvey Guillen, and John Mulaney. The movie follows Puss, a sword-wielding, feline bandit whose hazardous lifestyle finally catches up to him. On a quest to escape death, embodied by a whistling wolf, Puss, as well as a ragtag team of fairytale misfits, discover their true wish – which you guessed it – is family. After using eight of his nine lives, Puss experiences fear for the first time, resorting to domestic life at the home of a certified crazy cat lady. Garnering a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes, and grossing over 334 million dollars worldwide at the box office, ‘The Last Wish’ has surpassed the success of the original Puss in Boots. The phenomenon of animated children’s movies pulling in hordes of teenagers and adults is nothing new, as seen in the ‘Minions: Rise of Gru’. Both ‘Minions’ and ‘The Last Wish’ are spin-offs of franchises close to many Millenial and Gen Z’s childhoods, with ‘Shrek’ released in 2001, and ‘Despicable Me’ in 2010.

‘The Last Wish’ is visually captivating, and delivers the hallmark elements of a Dreamworks movie, erring on darker themes like death and abandonment.

Using animation inspired by “fairytale books”, the action scenes particularly reminisce comic-style movement. Yes, you will find lackluster comedy as well as formulaic plotlines and characters, but it is exactly this mediocrity that many fans find comfort in. There are worse ways to spend 104 minutes, but you certainly could think of better.

There’s only one word to describe this movie: potential. Quantumania reeks of decision by committee, not surprising given that is the hallmark of Marvel’s house style. However, despite clearly being the product of a studio executive looking at the success of Thor Ragnarok and deciding to just do that again, there are moments when the corporate sheen breaks, and a much wittier and driven movie shines through.

While most of the jokes fall flat in the traditional overly witty marvel style, moments with Quaz, a telepath who is constantly subjected to all the dirty thoughts of the people around him got some genuine laughs. A standout bit in the film is the solid 5 minutes spent implying a past torrid love affair between Michelle Pfeiffer’s Janet Van Dyne and Bill Murray. M.O.D.O.K.’s appearance, in comics the literal head of a terrorist group/megacorp and on screen a cgi-mangled mess of the villain from the first ant man, in the movie is a lot better if you look at it through the lens of a purposeful attempt at humor rather than a serious villain, but still not very impressive. Most of the hate this movie receives is due to a misunderstanding of the intent of the film, and is therefore unwarranted.

Quantumania spends a lot of time trying to emphasize the moral of the story: you shouldn’t stand by while people are harmed, even if it doesn’t affect you. We see Cassie get arrested for fighting police who were raiding a homeless camp and both Janet and Scott are offered the chance to get to go home if they help the villain, even though that will result in innocent deaths. The movie never executes this though, leaving the emotional plot of the movie to fall flat.

While this movie might be a good sign of Marvel moving away from its overly serious Avengers era into creative stories, it’s bogged down by the constraints of being a “Marvel Movie” and an over reliance on CGI. In the end, it’s a film typical of its property.

Graphics by Ali Merz and Sly Gross-Hamburger

SPORTS

February 27th marked the beginning of the spring sports season, and with five teams running full force on campus, it is Garfield’s busiest sports season of the year. Here’s a look at the teams.

Track

A surge of new people joined track this season. With 200 students on the team this year, it is the most populated sport at Garfield. This is because it is one of the few no cut sports and according to long distance runner Kamil Zeri bi, very accessible. “Anyone can do it. You don’t need ma terials… you just show up and run.” Zeribi said.Though track season officially started on Feb ruary 27th, the long distance team has been preparing for months. They have had preseason practices six days a week since January, “It’s cold and it sucks, but it’s good preparation,” Zeribi said. Running long distance takes a lot of time and effort. “Progress isn’t linear, it’s very much exponential,” Zeribi explained. This confidence carries over to the short-distance team as well. “I feel like it’s game where you have to deal with the pressure and be confident in yourself. The Garfield team tries to have a team envi-

Garfield spring sports preview.

By Kennedy Greenfelder, Asmah Bah, and Eli Silver

ronment where we can be supportive of each other, “ Taylor said. Some prominent players to look out for are Lakelle Bridges, Sydney Vinnedge and Kai Murphy. “We are trying to play well, hoping to make it to state and keep fighting hard,” Taylor added.

Softball

For the first time in almost a decade, there will be both a varsity and junior varsity softball team at Garfield. While this is exciting, it brings unique challenges to the program. “Our coach decided to have two really small teams, but not by necessity. People were cut and we have small teams. Which doesn’t make sense,” Scarlett Baebler, varsity softball player said. “People are going to be over worked.” This will be a problem if a team member gets injured. “It seems [like] everyone gets hurt at some point,” Baebler said. With only nine people on the JV team and nine players on the field at a time, it doesn’t leave much wiggle room.

Baebler is looking forward to many things this season, especially playing non-metro teams. The team will be travelling to places like Burlington and Vancouver, Washington to play. But Baebler is most looking forward to the connection she’ll have with the team. “You make unique friendships and strong bonds doing school sports.” Baebler explains, “community is big from day one… there’s no judgement, it’s very

ers, including freshman pitcher Eli Hurst and sophomore Prince Davis, will anchor the team for years to come, while senior ace Ben Bennet will look to have another dominant season. Several big names appear on Garfield’s schedule including

torically Roosevelt

and Holy Names have been very good. But she is not overly con

Hogan be lieves that with proper prepa- ration and the right attitude, anything can happen. “I think the sky’s the limit. I think with the talent we have we can make it all the way to state. If guys are showing up, playing loose, not letting the moment overtake them like it did last year, just competing and having fun.”

Soccer

Boy’s soccer is back and bigger than ever. “Over 100 people signed up this year which is a record high for Garfield,” varsity captain and junior, Cooper Haley said. Players reported a fun but challenging try

who did make the team look at the positives. “The coaches they set a really clear standard for what they wanted to see,” said varsity player James Carey, “They’re looking for players who not only have technical skill and ability on the ball but also a mindset where they have a good attitude, they’re tenacious, they want to work hard for the team, and they really want to win.” Varsity looks ahead to a season packed with close games. “Last year Lincoln had their way with the league, it’s going to be a really big challenge for us.” Haley said. However with proper preparation, both Haley and Carey believe the team has what it takes. “I think we have a team with a lot of mental strength and because of that we have the ability to go far,” Carey emphasised. The team also possesses a fair bit of talent, and potential young stars. Santiago Celis who moved to Seattle from Colombia last year is looking to build on a productive last season, and sophomores Itamar Iron-Jobes and Yanis Dillo could see breakout years. “They’re two smart, hard working players [and] with one year of varsity soccer already under their belt, I’m looking forward to what they can do on the field,” Haley said. Like many years, the team’s hoping for

Bulldog baseball heads into the spring season in a metro league packed with solid teams. Luckily, the team con tains quite a bit of promise itself. “Hitting wise we have a ton of depth. We have a lot of guys putting in a ton of work,” varsity captain Ollie Hogan said. On the defen sive end several promising young play

Art by Kennedy Greenfelder

SPORTS

HOW TO GET THE MOST BULK FOR YOUR BUCK

Affordable workout options for high schoolers.

By Lea Shaw

Exercise is important, but exercising on a budget is difficult. Here is a list of accessible and affordable workout options for highschoolers:

Planet Fitness

Planet Fitness is a great gym for people who want to workout at their own pace. You can get the Classic Membership at any Planet Fitness Gym for a starting fee of $49 and a monthly fee of $10. This membership includes unlimited access to the nearest club, free wifi, a no-commitment requirement, and free access to the personal trainers at the gym who can instruct and support you throughout your workouts.

Drop-In Swimming

If you are hoping to create a splash in your fitness journey, try out the drop-in option at your local community center. Maddison Pool is offering Sunday morning swim sessions from 11 am to 1 pm. This class is April 2 to June 18 and $4.50 for ages 1-17, $6.50 for ages 18-64. If your weekend mornings are too important, then try out the completely free drop-in swimming at

Magnuson Community Center from 6:458:30 every Friday night for ages 13-17.

Drop-In Basketball

Want to shoot some hoops and meet new people while exercising? The International/ Chinatown Community Center is offering drop-in basketball games every Wednesday from 2:30 to 5:30, April 5 to June 21 for ages 10-17. All skill levels are welcome for this completely free game!

Youtube Workout Channels

Maybe you want to workout from the comfort of your own home. Throughout covid and with the advancement of many new technologies, it is easier than ever to workout in your living room. If this is the kind of convenience you’re looking for, there are hundreds of workout channels at the tips of your fingers…

Natacha Oceane

Natacha Oceane is a great option because she uses no extra equipment, all of her videos are made using just your body weight. Her channel provides free access to HIIT –High Intensity Interval Training, cardio,

POWER-PACKED PERFORMANCE

and stretching routines. She even creates no-noise workouts that are perfect for apartments. Her videos, ranging in length, cover a wide variety of topics including the diet parts of exercise as well as her workouts. You can choose any of her videos and jump right in!

Toya and Juice work together to bring you quality workout vid eos. On their page you can find a wide range of work from cardio to weight lifting, nu trition, and a beginner’s guide to stretch ing. You can pick your choice of length of vid eo and follow along with your weights from home for con venience and satisfaction.

How to fuel your body: An Athlete’s Nutrition Guide.

By Nikhil Choudhury

For all types of athletes, nutrition is vital for performance and progression. So, what can you do to make sure you have a healthy diet? The number one thing to remember is to eat all your meals.

“I think the big thing is making sure you are getting your meals so you’re getting enough energy to play whatever sport it is that you’re playing,” Jannet Nieves, Garfield’s nutritionist at the Teen Health Center, said.

You may skip breakfast or use ated drink to replace a meal, but by doing this, you are missing out on a lot of energy.

Many meals have carbohydrates in them, which then break down into glucose. Glucose is your

body’s primary source of energy, so you need lots of it to fuel your intense workouts. It is actually rec-

your workout. Some good options to get carbohydrates in are bagels, raisins, potatoes, bread, and rice. Another thing

that athletes should focus on is getting enough protein into their diet. When you work out or lift weights, your muscles experience microscopic damage. In response to this, amino acids in your body provide the building block for new tissue to repair your muscles. These are how your muscles grow and get stronger. This is why it is recommended that 30-45 minutes after your workout, you should eat some sort of protein. Some good options are nuts, beans, dairy foods, and any type of meat. “A lot of weight lifters don’t eat enough carbohydrates because they are so focused on the protein intake, [but] without the carbohydrate intake it’s really hard for you to be able to fuel yourself,” Nieves said. So be careful when prioritizing what to eat, and make sure to eat an adequate amount of carbohydrates to have energy. Dairy intake is another key thing to keep in mind. Dairy is a great source of calcium, protein, and vitamin D. The sun is a

The Fitness Marshall

If you are looking for something a little different than the traditional weight lifting to improve your endurance, look no farther! The Fitness Marshall group has choreographed dances to all of your favorite songs. Their moves are sure to get you moving, and are designed to get your heart rate up and work all muscles. They have many free videos for you to follow along to their fun cross between exercise and entertainment. And if you become a Channel Supporter for $6.99 a month you get access to all of their exclusive content which includes live 30-minute sessions 2-4 times a month.

Art by Kailyn Shaw

good source of vitamin D, but in cloudy Seattle, dairy is a necessary alternative. With dairy providing lots of calcium, it is a good way to make sure your bones are in good health. Strong bones are essential to being able to do hard workouts and recover fully. When Nieves was asked about calcium intake in relation to weightlifting she said, “you’re still developing, your bones are still growing and if we are doing a lot of weightlifting you are putting a lot of pressure on those bones.” Growing teens should maintain strong bones that will be able to put up with intense, frequent workouts. Some good sources of calcium could be milk, yogurt, and cheese. When thinking about your diet as an athlete, you need to remember to eat all your meals to ensure optimal performance. Focus on carbohydrate intake to fuel yourself, then protein intake to help your body recover and repair, and remember to include calcium in your diet.

Art by Lily Collet

Last year, I went to Pagliacci during lunch. I tripped on the concrete in the courtyard, almost face-planted, and spilled my drink and food on my pants. Luckily no one saw me.

SCHOOL LIT FOR DUMMIES

WARNING: Spoilers

Romeo and Juliet: Two rebellious teens fall in love but their clashing families prevent their relationship. The Taylor Swift song Love Story, that (don’t deny it) you probably know all the lyrics to, inspired by the play is a lot more hopeful than the play itself. The two lovebirds are too stupid for their own good and essentially end up killing themselves.

There Will be Blood: The only thing I remember about this movie was “I WILL DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE” and a child being blown away by an oil explosion.

Great Gatsby: Gatsby is a major simp. He throws all these parties with Pigs-In-A-Blanket and everything in case his crush Daisy will just DROP BY and doesn’t even invite her. Like, dude, literally grow a pair. There are some other random things that happen too like some guy gets run over by a drippy Rolls Royce. The only saving grace is that Leonardo DiCaprio plays Gastby in the movie version, who I think we all can agree was hot af when he was younger.

Purple Hibiscus: This book will make you need therapy. Essentially, this dad who thinks he’s God beats up his family as his kids drink hot tea for the sole purpose of burning their tongues because it makes them think of him. Like…wtf.

Great Expectations: I had great expectations for this book. Okay so it’s about this orphan child who “plays” for this old lady who may or may not have a kink for children 1/10 her age. Then he grows up and inherits a lot of money and becomes really arrogant and catches feelings for this absolute b**ch.

The Catcher In The Rye: Your average horny 16 year old going through a midlife crisis. He fails out of school 4 times, has a friend who pops his pimples all over the place and basically hates the world.

Frankenstein: Legit the most boring book I’ve ever read, and that’s saying a lot. Okay, to be fair, the premise sounds interesting: A mad scientist makes a giant man baby out of disheveled body parts. But in reality, I was just annoyed throughout the entire novel about how dumb the characters are. The monster baby (who’s name btw is The Creature, NOT Frankenstein), chases the mad scientist until they basically get depressed and give up.

Hamlet: Kenneth Branagh. Enough Said.

The doors they close during 1st lunch are open, literally just open them.

One time I saw a rat in the garbage eating Ezell’s. I think I’ve gotten the full Garfield experience.

I was in physics and tried to stiflle a sneeze. Instead a snot rocket came out my nose.

Class of 2023 might be the last best class at Garfield.

Graphics by Lakelle Bridges and Tess Wahl

THE BACKPAGE

THE BACKPAGE TRIES WEIRD FOOD COMBOS!

PICKLE PB SANDWICH: 4/10

HAPPY WOMENS HISTORY MONTH BULLDOGS! TO HONOR THIS MONTH WE DECIDED TO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR OUR FAVORITE FEMALE CELEBRITIES!

JAM & CHEESE: 6/10

THE CHICKLE: 8/10

COKE & MILK: 5/10

ICE CREAM ROLL UP: 10/10

EGGS WITH KETCHUP: 1/10

OLIVE OIL ICE CREAM: 8/10

AVOCADO, ICE & CONDENSED MILK: 7/10

MADAM SANDLER

MICHELLE B. JORDAN

CHRISTINA RONALDO

STEPHANIE CURRY

PATTI MAHOMES

EDNA SHEERAN

AUBREY GRAHAM

TAYLOR THE CREATOR

DWANETTE JOHNSON

MRS. SNYDER

MISS LOU

MS. REES