SLICK OUT THE MOUTH, PG. 24 BUSINESS: Customer Service, PG. 30
Becoming FREE...Again, PG. 10 GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN, PG. 18 TRAVEL: It’s All Greek To Me!, PG. 68 August 2022
Gentleman’s Purpose Articles
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FAITH
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Becoming Free...Again Written by Justin Gaynor It seems that in my life I go through cycles of being debt-free ,and then having outstanding loans. I always feel the sense of freedom that I have when I don’t owe anyone anything (except, of course, a mutual sense of love). In my life, it’s been similar to sticking with a health regimen. There have been seasons were I would be at the gym with one of my Brothers at 6am, get a solid workout in five days a week, eat healthy, do physically challenging things...and I felt great. I was in good physical health. Then there have been other times when I have gotten to be overweight, felt lethargic most days, and really didn’t want to be bothered. Now, in our nation, it has become ridiculously common to be overweight and in debt. Something really grabbed my attention though. It was the Scripture that says, “The borrower is slave to the lender.” I was instantly repulsed by the idea of being a slave to anyone. Yet, my mindset and behaviors indicated that I obviously didn’t mind that much. So, as I am getting older, I’m 42 now, my body is slowing down, my metabolism isn’t what it used to be and it is requiring that I be far more intentional about stewarding this body. The same is true of my personal finances. My retirement years are closer now than they have ever been. For me, I went through an unexpected divorce (they should all be unexpected)that reset me to zero in my early 30’s. So, having everything I worked for up till that point wiped away, 10
both good and bad, it took me quite a while to process everything. Now, in the state of rebuilding in my early forties, having taken time to heal, I have a lot of ground to make up. However, it puts me in the same position as a lot of other Americans that simply didn’t make wise savings decisions in their twenties and thirties as I had. The truth is that I will not be able to rebuild financially without God’s help. In the same way that He has helped to rebuild my heart, my soul, and my “muchness” after the divorce. I need His help with my finances, my physical health, and every other aspect of my life...and so do you. God is in the business of setting captives free, so let’s step into that freedom and accept what He is calling us into.
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www.SaintLukesAnglicanChurch.com
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Relationships
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Girls Just Want to Have Fun Written by Justin Gaynor As gentlemen seeking to live a healthy, balanced life while fulfilling our purpose, we inevitably run into the old saying, “Girls just want to have fun.” So, as men that certainly enjoy having fun, how do we balance that with our responsibility to set the tone for relationships with the opposite sex that are considered healthy and fruitful in God’s economy? In this article, we’re going to explore three ways to enjoy our female friends, co-workers, and lovers more. First, we all know that men and women are different. Without question, the women in my life add significant value and joy to everyday living. So, as important as common ground is, look for ways to explore and celebrate the uniqueness of the individual women in your life. This will take time and it is not so much like figuring out a puzzle or a problem with a carburetor as it is considering the mind of a great painter like Salvador Dali or Picasso as you behold one of their prized works. As you notice certain areas of brightness, or deeply shaded areas, gently press in, ask questions and ruminate on the responses. Walk with them a little while. Commit yourself to seeing their joys and sorrows, to hearing their whimpers and their roars. Enjoy life with who they actually are and not who you imagine them to be or who you want them to become.
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Next, get ready to have fun! Know how to do spontaneous things that bring excitement and mystery and awe into her life. Understand, however, that while she may find this sexy and cool, most women have an underlying desire, a strong desire, for stability and security. You will need to learn to ebb and flow with her in these things and really take hold of the unforced rhythms of God’s grace in your relationship. Emotional IQ comes into play at this point, almost as much as prayer. Praying for the women in your life is without question the best way to stay on the same wavelength. Pray that God gives you great adventures together, a solid foundation for long-term viability, and clear, honest communication to be able to embrace joy, happiness, and fun together. Lastly, learn to draw her to yourself with honesty and genuine lovingkindness. We are men. We are very visual, and very sexual beings. Being honest with ourselves about that without allowing that carnal nature into the driving seat at inappropriate times will help us grow as gentlemen. There are, of course, times when our sexual energy and appetites can be satisfied with the one we love in a way that is beautiful in God’s sight, exciting and fulfilling in her heart, and healthy and upbuilding in our own being. This takes wise stewardship of your own heart and soul, though. Let the Spirit lead in this as in other areas of your life. To sum things up, be a student of how God is at work in the women in your life. This will help you grow in wisdom. You cannot systematize the relationships you have with the women in your life. Yes, learning the basics of the dances you engage in is important, but in real life, you have to build on those foundational steps with a freedom, rhythm, and grace that simply can’t be turned into a universal checklist. Lastly, let your love and personal being command, not demand, a free-will response from her. Giving her as much time and space as required for her to truly embrace you as who you are. Be prepared for pain and frustration, and be prepared to learn to love more like Jesus in all of your relationships. 19
Justin Gaynor, REALTOR®, 3510 S. Nova Rd., Ste. 112, Port Orange, FL 32129 - 561-876-9728 (Mobile)
Click the eBook for FREE access to the definitive guide to buying a home in Florida!
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Style
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Slick Out The Mouth Written by Justin Gaynor Everywhere we turn these days there are messages blaring at us from every angle. With all of the noise, not only can our voice get lost, but the important voices that are meant to speak into our lives can get lost. The better we learn how to communicate and the more we understand how communication actually happens, the better we can send and receive. Since we have covered the three C’s of communication in previous editions of GP, here I want to look at communication style. There are four basic styles of communication. First, some people are highly passive in their communication style. They can seem to be very non-chalant in their interactions. These are typically very easy going people. They tend to be peacemakers and are able to navigate highly controversial topics and situations without losing their composure. We should be aware; however, the non-confrontational nature of passive communicators can lead to strong underlying, unexpressed feelings of disillusionment and resentment. They can feel as though nobody really cares about what they have to say about a topic, and that their input lacks value. If we perceive we are interacting with a passive communicator, listening well, asking questions with genuine interest, and affirming their value can go a long way in helping to build them up, and in drawing wisdom up from people who tend to think very deeply about things. Second, there are some people who have an aggressive communication style. These communicators are easily recognized, they often rise to leadership and management positions. They tend to have very bold personalities. Aggressive communicators can struggle with listening, which is a vital part of communicating. While their general failure to listen well is an overall negative attribute, they move the ball down the field in the direction they intend to go. One can only hope it’s the right direction if you are following them. Next, there are communicators that have a passive-aggresive approach. Their aggression is subtle and can take the form of sarcasm, off the cuff snide remarks, attempts to sabbotage things they agreed to verbally or with body language, but were against with their true will. People with this type of communication style can be seen as toxic in many ways, but most likely they have never really been listened to.
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Perhaps they were aggressive communicators at one time , but some negative experience caused them to tone things down on the outside while they now rage with bitterness, resentment, and folly on the inside. If you perceive this type of communication style, it is best to listen well, ask questions, non-verbally give them permission to open back up and express themselves. Do what you can to help them find their voice and feel valued as far as it is possible with you. Otherwise, you may end up with the proverbial knife in your back. Last but not least, are folks that have an assertive communication style. Not surprisingly, this is the communication style that Jesus demonstrated most often, with His characteristic Jewish chutzpah of course. This is seen to be the most effective communication style. The communicator is able to honestly express their position, they are aware of and own their emotions, but they don’t shove their opinions and ideas down the throats of others. They are able to listen well and empathize and tend to have a very high level of emotional intelligence. These four communication styles exist. Some are healthier than others and some are more effective than others in various situations. The important thing is to be able to recognize your own style, and the style of the person you are communicating with. Awareness and the ability to include that awarenes in your efforts to truly connect with the other person can go a long way in ensuring that communication has actually happened. You have understood the other, and the other has understood you.
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Business
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Customer Service Written by Justin Gaynor
Providing excellent customer service has long been encouraged in my life. From when I was a boy working in my mom’s cafe’ to my career as the branch manager of a securities firm that had “above and beyond” customer service engrained in its DNA. However, these are strange times we are living in. For a long time, many consumers have enjoyed and even taken for granted this good natured unwritten business rule. Of course, the higher the premium a person pays for a product or service, the greater the expectations people tend to have regarding the level of service they receive. Some think their money gives them the right to be downright nasty to people. Since the recent COVID epidemic and the massive government handouts that have been happening, finding qualified workers is more difficult. There are cries from small business owners to consumers to be grateful that they are getting any service at all. If a customer is receiving terrible service from a restaurant server for instance, and the customer complains, the server just says fine, fire me, or quits and leaves the business owner so short handed that they have to close their doors. The safety net in America has gotten so strong that not only are workers not afraid of falling, some are like, “watch me do triple lindy off this position.” As our nation has been overwhelmingly less exposed to Biblical teaching, there is far less “fear of God” in the hearts of people. The value of a person’s word typically only exists in small subcultures where something like that is even talked about.
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In fact, in a recent article it was explained that many businesses have become so focused on producing more money that even when they advertise “customer service excellence” they are intentionally and proactively increasing customer frustration levels so that they simply give up and no longer seek to have issues resolved. Of course, the problem with this approach is that while it works for companies that have a monopoly, or close to one, industries that have a lot of competition find themselves surprised when customers silently go elsewhere without giving any opportunity for the product or service provider to “keep them” or “win them back”. It is quite a mess. That’s for sure. The question for us, gentlemen, comes down to Christian ethics. The whole WWJD should still be ringing true in our hearts and minds, both as business owners, employees, and consumers.
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FOR SALE
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Call with questions or to schedule a private showing.
561-876-9728 Mobile
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Dining
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SANTORINI’S
GREEK CUISINE 136 N. Woodland Blvd. Deland, FL 32720
Daniel Bass, with Waterstone Mortgage, has been a pal of mine since I was a kid. He worked at my mom’s restaurant in Orange City, Florida and was one of the first gentlemen I reconnected with when I returned to Central Florida. We got to talking about all sorts of things and one of them was my love for good food. A lot has changed in Downtown Deland he told me. As a matter of fact it was voted the BEST downtown area of all the mainstreets considered in America! When I asked for restaurant recommendations, Santorini’s Greek Cuisine was at the top of his list. I arrived on a Friday evening for an early supper. The town was bustling, but I was seated fairly quickly and the service was delightful. The menu was extensive and offered some really amazing greek dishes that I absolutely love. The lamb chops struck my fancy on that particular day. After starting with one of their Greek salads, of course. Delicious. When the lamb chops were served, I found them tender, cooked as I had requested and the flavor was amazing. The citrus potatoes and glass of wine made for a well rounded meal, although I was tempted to add a couple extra lamb chops for $4 each, but I saved room for dessert...a pint of Chimay across the street at The Abbey. An overall wonderful experience. I am looking forward to spending more time, and money, in Downtown Deland in the future... Click Here to Visit Website of Santorini’s Greek Cuisine of Deland 38
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Books
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Recommended A Library For August 2022: E
There’s nothing quite like sinking into a big leather chair with one of the greatest high seas adventure novels ever written and losing yourself for a while with pirates, mysterious islands, beautiful damsels in distress...and RUM...don’t forget the RUM...and a mega-pint of it if possible...
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Additions To Your Essential Summer Reading
Treasure Island is a classic that every gentleman ought to have read at least once. Put a little Jimmy Buffet on in the background and set out for adventure!
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Recommended A Library For August 2022: Es
Continuing our pirate theme this month. Adding Black Flags, Blue Waters to your personal library will offer some history and substance to the adventures we take with our novels. History is one of those things that it is wise to learn from, lest we repeat it.
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Additions To Your ssential Summer Reading
I’ve long been a fan of his RUM, but getting to know the REAL Captain Morgan makes for some great reading. Pick Graham A. Thomas’ book on the famous pirate up and add it to your shelves for these hot summer days where pool side reading with a nice frozen beverage can turn a gentleman into a scallywag quicker that you can say, “AARRRGGHH”.
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Music
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Music For The New Christendom Brian Sauvé
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BOOK NOW 53
Gear
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After getting some freediving in, you may want to think about getting your scuba diving certification...
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The equipment can cost a pretty penny, so start thinking about what gear you’re going to need to get started on this adventure! 57
...And don’t forget the little extras that could be handy in a difficult spot.
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Magazine? friends and family!
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Travel
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GREECE
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It’s All Greek to Me Written by Justin Gaynor
Traveling to Greece, if you are a student of the Bible, is a dream come true. The Greek culture was rapidly transforming the Jewish culture in the New Testament. With the Helenization of the Jews, thousands of years of Torah based ideas and values were rapidly changing. That is, until a Jewish Rabbi turned Christian Apostle decided to take the battlefield of the mind to the steps of the Aereopagus in Athens and beyond. Today, the country is a modern wonderland with old world charm all while still boasting some of the most beautiful and unique shorelines and geographic features on the planet. The Christian way has made strong inroads into Greek culture as it has in Roman culture. As mentioned in the Dining section of this month’s magazine, I am a HUGE fan of greek food and the flavors of the mediterranean always seem to delight the eye. Planning a trip to Greece before the summer is over is certainly a possibility. Roundtrip tickets to Thessaloniki can be purchased for around $1,600 USD currently. Let’s continue taking the Gospel to the world...and have some fun, too! 68
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