Living Through Loss

May and June can be difficult months for those who have lost their loved ones. Mother’s and Father’s Day are often dates where people struggle for many reasons. Some are reminded of the absence of their loved ones. Others are troubled because they may be estranged from a parent due to abuse, mistreatment or abandonment. And others may be disconnected due to choices they have made to protect their peace, privacy or any number of reasons that may discourage them from connecting with their loved one.

Adjusting to losing a parent whether physically or emotionally is a life changing event. It transitions your identity and sometimes can reinvent your purpose. Grief is personal and there is no timetable for it. Comparing your grief and loss journey to that of another family member or friend does not lessen the impact of the loss. Learning to stay on the path of healing that is best for you is the most helpful way to process your feelings and shapes your attitude towards the loss. Sometimes fear, panic and despair set in as the reality of the loss hits home. This shock can happen over the years. Sometimes you will be just fine and then there will be days that you say to yourself, “This can’t be real”. is one way to get through the difficult days. It is also helpful to honor them by donating to their favorite charity, planting flowers, volunteering in the community or finding other meaningful ways to pay tribute to them. Your parents may be gone or not available to you, due to illness, incarceration or addictions, but you can focus on the path forward.

Cherishing the memories of your loved one and making the most of them

Losing loved ones can be a turning point and lead to more impact in the days and months to come. Be the parent or friend that helps their loved ones through their grief journey. It is possible to live through loss when you rely on your faith in God, the support of others and the resilience within you.

Dr. Carla Debnam, Founder, Renaissance Christian Counseling Center