And They Lived Happily Ever After DEARLY BELOVED, we are gathered here today, at the neighborhood Cineplex, to witness the union of two people in holy matrimony. Though big-budget Disney remakes, superhero films and sci-fi sagas from a galaxy far, far away often get the most attention at the box office, movies about marriage remain a cinematic staple. That’s because good movies depend on interesting conflicts, and marriage offers no shortage of storytelling fodder in that department, whether we’re talking about Hallmark romances, silly romcoms or serious dramas. We may snicker at the contrived situations and the stilted dialogue that Hollywood often delivers, but the fact is that we do indeed have high expectations of marriage. And movies tap into those “happily ever after”
longings, sometimes in ways that are constructive, other times in ways that quietly reinforce unhealthy expectations of what love and marriage are all about. So let’s take a look at the potential perils and promises of onscreen relationships, especially when it comes to how they influence our perceptions of marriage.
Unrealistic expectations? Most of us like happy endings, and most movies give us exactly that. In fact, we typically get mad when they don’t. And when it comes to relationship movies, happily ever after often comes wrapped in passion, intensity and neatly resolved conflict. The message: The world is a better place now that these two people have finally worked through all their issues.
pluggedin.com
by Adam Holz, PluggedIn.com That desire for a happy ending is, I believe, hardwired within us. We long for a world where broken places are healed, where rough edges are filed down, where the most unlikely couples somehow navigate their differences and discover that true love can conquer any and all obstacles. Classic rom-coms like Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Notting Hill, Hitch and Crazy Rich Asians — not to mention virtually every movie on the
Hallmark Channel — are built on this same narrative template. While I am well aware of their derivative nature, I actually like these kind of movies. I’m a romantic at heart. But I sometimes face the temptation to compare my marriage of 15 years (with three kids) to a nice, neat, feel-good story that’s completely wrapped up in the two hours. And if I’ve had a recent conflict with my wife, or we’re dealing with some unresolved issue in our marriage or family, these films can make me feel like there’s something wrong with my own relationship - that it’s not as good as what I’ve just seen on the big screen. In those moments, I have to remember that rom-coms are essentially fantasies and that
Sleepless in Seattle
MOVIES THAT INSPIRE CONVERSATIONS If you and your spouse are looking for an evening of uplifting entertainment, consider the following films. These movies just might inspire you and lead to heartfelt and honest conversation about love, marriage and family (Note: Some of these movies are rated PG-13, so be sure to check out PluggedIn.com if you have any questions about a film’s content.)
• Father of the Bride
• A Beautiful Mind
• Up
• The Incredibles
• Shadowlands
• Wonder
• Marley & Me
• Julie & Julia
• Fireproof
• Ever After
The Incredibles
Wonder Ever After
Fireproof 30 • February 2020
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