True Life | Claire’s story
I thought I was losing my mind and I tried to ignore it Award-winning mental health blogger and author Claire Eastham reveals her journey from social anxiety to mastering self-care
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unning down a street in central London, tears streaming down my face, I knew I’d really done it this time; I’d ruined my life. The mental health condition that I’d been hiding for 10 years, had finally seeped through my subconscious. During an interview earlier that morning, I experienced what I now know was a panic attack – the worst of my life. But at the time, I thought I was losing my mind. I knew from the moment I entered the room that something was wrong, but as was my usual approach, I tried to ignore it. A warm
56 • happiful • March 2018
sensation seemed to flow from my head and down my body, and by the time it reached my heart, everything exploded. I couldn’t breathe, I felt dizzy and I swear, my heart was pounding so hard you could see it beating through my shirt. I can still remember the look on their faces when I rose suddenly from my seat and announced in a Jane Austinesque voice: “I have the norovirus and must leave at once!” Two things to bear in mind. Firstly, I’m from Bolton, so I’ve no idea where that posh voice came from. Secondly, I don’t think I’ve ever used the phrase “at once” since.
