HAYATI No 3
THE NIKAH ISSUE
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HAYATI FEBRUARY 2013
ALL THANKS BE TO THE ALMIGHTY
FATIMA TOGBE Chief Brand Ofiicer/ Editor-In-Chief CONTRIBUTING WRITER Nouran Amin & Melanie Elturk CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER Atiyeh R. Amiri GENERAL ENQUIRIES info@hayationline.com MEDIA ENQUIRIES media@hayationline.com EDITORIAL BUSINESS work@hayationline.com CONTRIBUTOR ENQUIRIES content@hayationline.com Special thanks to Yanate Banigo, Aisha Maaji, Umar Hamza, Sadiq and Naima Nassir, and Kabir Idris Hayati is published monthly by Kimera Media, Potomac, MD, 20854. Hayati is currently only available online. Subscription is free. For information about reprint, e-prints and previous issues please contact media@hayationline.com.
Editor’s Letter
ALL ABOUT NIKAH! This issue has been a long journey for me. I found writing the articles, researching ried yet so I learned a great deal of valuable information during the making of this issue. From issues such as polygamy to how men feel about women who wear makeup, I hope you all can benefit from reading these articles whether you are married, single or parents in-sha-Allah. I am really thankful for all the help and support I have gotten throughout the month. All the encouragement messages, suggestions and comments have been very helpful and keep me going each day. Jazak’Allah to you all and I pray that Allah swt blesses each and every one of you. Don’t forget to share the issue with all your friends and family so we can spread the beauty of the Muslimah Lifestyle and remember that we want to hear from you! Send us your suggestions, comments and/or stories; we want to hear them all. You can also follow us on social networks and keep in contact with us between issues.
Fatima Togbe
From left to right: Images courtesy of Arikk Ruslan, Hadler Yousuf, Alex Skopje and Africa Studio.
and speaking with people about the topic of nikah very interesting. I am not mar-
SISTER TALK
Hayati Letters Hayati wants to hear from you! No matter what it is. Whether its words of encouragements, suggestions, your birthday, pictures of you and your friends, we want to to hear it all! Hayatiletters@hayationline.com
Assalaamu Alaykum, Jazakillah khayrun for a beautiful magazine mashaAllah. I do have a suggestion; I would appreciate it if you could do a segment on polygamy. Most of the sisters in the west struggle with this one. Thank you for reading my suggestion and hope it can be covered in Hayati Magazine InshaAllah. Fi amanillah NADIA
NOURAN AMIN Contributor
I saw your december issue and I cant stress how proud I am. This magazine will grow by God’s grace. SHAIDA
Salam Sister, I believe that the Hayati Online project has been a huge succees mashaAllah! Jazak’Allah! AMANDA
MELANIE ELTURK Contributor
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THE KAYYS
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HAYATI FEBRUARY 2013
FAITH
Question and Answers Greatest Love Story What is marriage? Let’s talk polygamy Duties of a wife
HEALTH Understanding first-aid
LIVING
Helpful applications Establishing family health records
BEAUTY Men’s view on makeup Growing out your hair Quick natural looks The health benefits of wearing Hijab
FASHION Classy hijab-friendly looks 2013 shoe picks Spring bag collection 2013 Haute Hijab
Being a top-chef
7/day Complete menu
Cleaning vs. Your nails Recipes
SHOP GUIDE Details on all shopping items
IN EVERY ISSUE Editor’s Letter Hayati Letters Subscribe to Hayati Editor’s Choice Charity
Necklace, Leitmotiv Zambia Swarovski Crystal, SHOUROUK
R O S E L L E D U B A I - D O H A
Issa
I love colors! Especially when it comes to my clothing. This dress by Issa has just the right amount of color mix and makes for a great evening dress.
CHOICE
Prints
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Wild
With a nice white hijab, a clutch and some killer pumps, this look is definetly one that I would see myself wearing.
Zebra print silk jersey maxi dress, ISSA, $993
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CHOICE
EDITOR’S
School
Dreams
Olympia Le-Tan I have a very playful side and this sort of accessory is perfect for that. This green cotton-canvas clutch is definetly something I would wear with a pair of jeans, some pumps, a nice blouse and a matching hijab.
A midsummer night’s dream embroidered clutch, Olympia Le-Tan, $1880
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CHOICE
EDITOR’S
Sequin skull embellished suede loafers, Alexander McQueen, $645
Orange
Sunset McQueen
There is everything to love about these shoes. From the vibrant color to the elegance it adds to any casual look, these loafers are a winner in my book.
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CHOICE
EDITOR’S
Unusual
Beauty Lanvin
What I love about these earrings is the contrast between the storm blue cord and the pweter-tone brass. It at once makes your look unique with an edge and easily adds an element of class.
Crystal and cord clip earrings, Lanvin, $780
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Miu Miu
I am really into sunglasses but I am also very picky. However I love a pair of cat-eye shades any day. These are definetly not your everyday shades mainly because of their color, but surely a favorite.
CHOICE
Sparkle
EDITOR’S
Queen
Cat eye glittered acetate and metal, Miu Miu, $390
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Need a question
ANSWERED?
We are here for you! Do you have all these questions concerning Islam, the way it is meant to be practiced or simply personal questions you do not feel confortable asking? Well we are here to help you answer some of these questions.
Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE? A: There is no specific Islamic prescription for knowing the right time to get married; it is more of a personal choice. However, from a biological point of view, when a male or female has attained the age of puberty, then it is time to get married; that is because they have reached the child bearing age. In addition to this, a person must be mentally and physically able.
Q: HOW DO YOU BEGIN THE PROCESS OF MARRIAGE? A: This is more cultural than it is religious. However, because Islam does not permit that a woman should be in the company of a man without a muharam, the groom to be must seek the consent of the potential bride’s guardians to begin courtship; usually under the supervision of a chaperon. When the couple has agreed/consented to marrying each other, a marriage contract is concluded between the guardians of the bride and groom. Sometimes this is done before the nikah (weddding ceremony) and a mahr (mandatory sum) is agreed and paid by the groom to the bride at the time of the nikah (through their guardians).
We have answered these questions to the best of our knowledge, making use of the Holy Quran, Hadiths, Scholars and Fatwas. May Allah SWT reward us for what we have gotten right and forgive/correct us for those we have gotten wrong.
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Q: WHAT DUAS SHOULD YOU MAKE? A: Jabir bin ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet used to teach us to seek Allah’s Counsel in all matters, as he used to teach us a Surah from the Qur’an. He would say, “When anyone of you has an important matter to decide, let him pray two Rak’ahs other than the obligatory prayer and then say: Allaahumma ‘innee ‘astakheeruka bi’ilmika, wa ‘astaqdiruka biqudratika, wa ‘as’aluka min fadhlikal-’adheemi, fa ‘innaka taqdiru wa laa’aqdiru, wa ta’lamu, wa laa ‘a’lamu, wa ‘anta ‘allamul-ghuyoobi, Allahumma ‘in kunta ta’lamu ‘anna haathal-’amra - [then mention the thing to be decided] khayrun lee fee deenee wa ma’aashee wa ‘aaqibati amree - [or say] ‘aajilihi wa aajilihi - faqdurhu lee wa yassirhu lee thumma baarik lee feehi, wa ‘in kunta ta’lamu ‘ amna haathal-’amra sharrun lee fee deenee wa ma’aashee wa ‘aaqibati amree - [or say] ‘aajilhi wa ‘ajilhi - fasrifhu ‘anne wasrifnee ‘anhu waqdur liyal-khayra haythu kaana thumma ‘ardhinee bihi. {O Allah, I seek counsel of Your Knowledge, and I seek the help of Your Omnipotence, and I beseech You for Your magnificent Grace. Surely, You are Capable and I am not. You know and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if you 20
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know that this matter [then mention the thing to be decided] is good for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come, - [or say: in this life and the afterlife] - then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless me in it. And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come , - [or say: in this life and the afterlife] - then distance it from me, and distance me from it, and ordain for me what is good wherever it may be, and help me to be content with it.} [Al-Bukhari] Whoever seeks the counsel of the Creator will not regret it and whoever seeks the advice of the believers will feel confident about his decisions. Allah said in the Qur’an: “...and consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah.” Q3:159
Q: SHOULD YOU ASK FOR YOUR FAMILY’S HELP? A: It is always recommended in Islam to seek advice and assistance where it is deemed beneficial. Islam allows a woman to choose the man she will marry, and does not allow parents to force her to marry who she dislikes. However, the Muslimah should not reject the advice or guidance of her parents if they are based on the sunnah.
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Q: IF YOU WERE NOT A VIRGIN AT THE TIME YOU REVERTED TO ISLAM SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO BE?
It is therefore important that a man should know this. It is very possible that most men would understand that a woman who has reverted has changed her ways and has turned a new leaf. However, it would be disastrous if he has the impression that A: Yes! In Islam, marriage is a contract she is a virgin and finds out the contrary between two people. Just like with any after the marriage. other contract in Islam, full disclosure is a necessity, particularly of information that is fundamental to the agreement. It is then Q: BLOOD TYPE, GENOAND FERTILITY up to the contracting parties to decide if TYPE they will continue with the transaction or ARE VERY IMPORTANT IN not. Deliberate non-disclosure of material CHILDBEARING, SHOULD information leads to fraud. In Islam, YOU DISCUSS THAT BEchastity is an important decisive factor. Allah SWT says in the Qur’an: “...So marry them with the permission of their people and give them their due compensation according to what is acceptable. (They should be) CHASTE, neither (of) those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers.” Q4:25.
FORE MARRIAGE?
A: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was reported to have said, “Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on Qiyammah.” [Abu Dawood]. To be able to achieve this objective, It is permissible to discuss these issues and ensure they will not hinder you Allah SWT also says in the Qur’an: “...And from meeting this objective. In addition, (lawful in marriage) are chaste women discuss HIV, and other transmittable disfrom among the believers and chaste eases. women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you Continued on next page > have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking (secret) lovers.” Q5:5. HAYATIONLINE.COM
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Q: IF A WOMAN IS INTERESTED IN A MAN, HOW SHOULD SHE LET HER INTENTIONS BE KNOWN? A: The woman should follow the example of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), the first wife of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him). Khadijah confided in her friend Nafisa, and Nafisa went to take up the matter with the Prophet. A woman in this position should confide in a trusted friend who will then go and discuss the matter with the man in question.
Q: HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT STIPULATING EACH OTHERS DOS AND DON’TS FOR MARRIAGE? A: In Islam, every marriage is preceded with a marriage contract. In fact, in Islam marriage is a contract. All the dos and don’ts should be discussed, agreed upon, and included in the marriage contract as long as it is not haram.
Q: WHAT TO DO IN THE EVENT THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS FAVORING ONE WIFE MORE THAN YOU? A: Bring it to his attention citing the Qur’an and hadith. If that does not work, you should complain to the guardian who married you to him.
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Q: WHAT TO DO IF BEFORE MARRIAGE YOU BOTH AGREED THAT HE WOULD NOT MARRY A SEOND WIFE BUT HE IS BEGINNING TO CONSIDER THE OPTION? A: Allah has given permission for men to marry women in twos, threes or fours. This permission has made polygamy lawful. “Allah wants to make clear to you (the lawful from the unlawful) and guide you to the (good) practices of those before you and to accept your repentance.” Q4:26 Any decision to make unlawful what Allah has made lawful is void. “Say: ‘Have you seen what Allah has sent down to you of provision of which you have made (some) lawful and (some) unlawful?’ Say, ‘Has Allah permitted you (to do so) or do you invent (something) about Allah?’” Q10:59. “And do not say about what your tongues assert of untruth, ‘This is lawful and this is unlawful, ‘to invent falsehood about Allah” Q16:116.
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Photo credit: Alex Skopje
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Understanding Marriage
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“Choose a man who is attractive to you in all aspects and will most importantly gain because in chapter four of the Holy Qur’an “An-Nisa (Women)”, verse 34, it says “men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given them one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guards in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard”. This means that a wife’s duty is not only to be there emotionally and physically for her husband but to also work hand in hand with him in order to make the life of the family significantly meaningful.
it is accepted as the basis of human society, marriage is seen as a social contract that comes with extensive and varied responsibilities and duties on both parts. According to the Holy Qur’an, marriage is a sacred pledge on to which Allah (SWT) is made witness and a woman with a religious and honourable character is entrusted to a man. I used the word entrusted
Husband and wife both need each other as much as the other and therefore are meant to be mutual support, comfort and protection for each other. In chapter two, verse 187, it says: “They (wives) are as garments to you and ye are as garments to them”. This simple but profound verse demonstrates the equality in marriage between a man and a woman. Although men have been
Photo credit: Haider Yousuf
any things come to my mind when I think of marriage. Like many young women I think about the day itself, how happy I’ll be, the beautiful henna designs I’ll get, my dress and most importantly the vows I will be taking before The Almighty Allah (SWT). All that is fine and lovely but there is a lot more to marriage than that. Webster defines marriage as “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law”. However in Islam, although the institution of marriage is recognised and
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In the Holy Qur’an there are many verses which explain the different purposes of marriage. In chapter 30 verse 21 however, the main purpose is explained as follows: “and among His Signs is this, that He created for you [men] mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts”. This verse has, by many, been taken out of context and used to prove a woman’s inferiority to man simply for the fact that she was created from him. Instead, people have failed to see that it explains that both man and woman are the descendants of Adam and therefore both share the same soul. The underlined purpose of marriage, according to the Holy Qur’an, is the union of these two souls which are in essence one. The two [man and woman] are intended to be united by marriage, which will subsequently bring them close physically, mentally and emotionally.
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your constant admiration and respect”
It is very important to take notice to the fact that many times when the Holy Qur’an makes reference to the strong bond of marriage between two partners, it equally emphasises the presence and need for love to dwell in the union. This love for the sake of The Almighty Allah (SWT) is the cement which makes the marriage foundation strong enough to building a Muslim family in which children can grow up learning the good character taught by Islam. to dwell in love, to be mutual support, comfort and protection for each other and to raise a When a family is productive, constructive, helpful family. Next, we must focus on the steps a woman and constantly encourage one another to succeed, must take in order to choose a good husband. that family becomes a strong and major component of the Muslim society they live in. This is also one of One of the beautiful aspects of Islam is that a woman the reasons why being a pious and virtuous woman has the right to choose her husband. Unlike what is very important, especially in marriage, because many people around the world may think, The Holy women are the pillar and the cornerstone of the Qur’an has thought us that if a woman is unsatisfied Muslim family. They are also the greatest joy in a with someone her parents would like her to marry, man’s life as the Prophet (SAW) said. “This world is she is free to refuse the proposal. No one can force just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort her to marry someone she does not like. However, in this world is a righteous woman.” (Sahih Muslim she should be careful not to refuse the advice and 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr). guidance of her parents when they suggest a potential A righteous woman is someone her husband can suitor, for they have your best interest at heart and find comfort in after a long day at work; with her they have more experience in life and with people. he can find incomparable tranquillity and pleasure. There are many examples from texts which support a woman’s right to choose her husband. Conclusively, marriage in Islam has many pur- One of these examples is a quote by Imam poses, the major ones being the unity of two souls, Bukhari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam >
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Photo credit: Ariff Ruslan
made our protectors, we as women also play major roles such as childbearing and house-keeping to name a few. In chapter seven, verse 189, it says: “it is He who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love). When they are united, she bears a light burden and carries it about. When she grows heavy, they both pray to Allah (SWT) their Lord saying: “If Thou givest us a goodly child, we vow we shall (ever) be grateful”. This verse reveals to us another purpose of marriage; which is to have children and multiply.
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“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, `I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, `Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’” (Fath al-Bari, 9/194, Kitab al-nikah, bab ikrah al-bint ‘ala al-zawaj) At first The Prophet (SAW) advised al-Khansa’ to accept her father’s choice, however once he realised that her father wanted to force her into marriage, he advised that she marry “whomever [she] wish”. This goes to show that Islam in no way supports forcing a woman into an unwanted marriage because it strives to create successful marriages based on compatibility and love between partners. Alongside their compatibility, couples should also establish common grounds on topics such as looks, attitudes, habits, aspirations and more. Nevertheless, if something goes wrong after the marriage and the woman no longer feels like she can sincerely love her husband, and fears that she may begin to disobey and oppose her husband out of lack of love, she may ask for a divorce. The wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah, the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, approached the Prophet (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behaviour, but I hate to commit any act of kufr (disbelief) when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” her mahr (wedding gift) had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So the Messenger of Allah sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.” (Fath al-Bari, 9/395, Kitab al-talaq, bab al-khul’)
status, a luxurious lifestyle and other things which can and are usually primarily attractive especially in the world we live in today. Instead, you should look at his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour in general and towards others because these are the best features of a husband. With the sort of entertainment that surrounds us these days, it is easy to be attracted to the “play-boy” types. Nevertheless, no matter how handsome, wealthy or funny they may be you should be grounded and guided by Islam and ultimately not fall for this kind of man. Instead, you should turn towards a serious, educated, believing man who is easy going and pure at heart, whose behaviour is good and whose understanding of religion is sound. Ultimately, no man is a more suitable partner for the good, believing woman than a good, believing man as Allah (SWT) has said: “Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity” (Qur’an 24:26) However, I am by no means saying that appearance should be neglected at the expense of inner nature, and vice versa. In fact, a woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects. One who will most importantly gain her admiration and respect for he will eventually have the right of qiwamah over her, as the holy Qur’an says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers [qiwamah] of women” (Qur’an 4:34). It is important as a Muslimah to choose a man whose qiwamah over you, you will feel proud of. A man who you will marry and be happy with and never feel regret. You should want a man who will take your hand in his and work to fulfil your life’s mission of bringing up a new generation of intelligent and caring children, in an atmosphere of love and harmony.
Next, a woman should strive to obey her husband (provided that no sin is involved) and show him reAs a Muslimah, understanding the teachings of your spect as this is one of the keys to making everything religion will give you wise and correct standards when in the marriage work. If your husband does not have it comes to choosing your husband. A Muslimah much money for example, do not complain about his should not concern herself with just good looks, high inability to spend much or the amount of housework 28
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HAYATI you have to do. You should remember that many of the virtuous women in the Holy Qur’an exercised great patience, goodness and a positive attitude with regard to their husbands and their house chores even though they were faced with poverty and hardship. A great example is Fatimah al-Zahra’ the daughter of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW). She was married
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Photo credit: Haider Yousuf
(SAW) instead decided to visit his daughter and her husband and said “shall I not teach you something that is better than that for you which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say ‘Subhan Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Al-hamdu-lillah’ thirty-three times, and ‘Allahu akbar’ thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant.” (Fath al-Bari, 7/71, Kitab fada’il al-Shahabah, bab manaqib Ali ibn Abi Talib) A way for you to obey your husband is by respecting his opinion and his wishes with regard to everyday things such as social visits, dress, speech and more. You should understand that he makes his decisions with your best interest at heart and therefore if you have chosen a man whose opinion you respect than you should trust and obey him. However it is important that you do these things out of your own free will and not resentfully or else it defeats the purpose and may only steer-up problems which may arise later on.
So conclusively, when choosing a husband, a woman should look for a man who is easy going and pure at heart, whose behaviour is good and whose understanding of religion to ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib (RAA). In the beginning, Fatimah is sound. She should also take into consideration used to complain about her house work and how it compatibility on issues such as looks, attitudes, habits, hurt her hands. Hearing this, her husband told her to aspirations and more and should most importantly go and ask her father for one of the female slaves he chose a husband whose qiwamah over her she will just brought in to assist her at home. She went to see be proud of. For more details about the duties of a her father but could not bring herself to asking him, wife in Islam, you can continue reading on page #. so her husband went instead. Prophet Muhammad
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LET US Ta Polgam
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alk my
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We all know what polygamy is but do we truly understand it? Do we look at it and apply it in the way the Holy Quran has prescribed it for us? Or have we let the media distort our view on the subject? By Fatima Togbe
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Married to the man of your dreams.
Life is perfect in your eyes and he adds a second wife. Now what?
It is easy to write off polygamy because it does not conform to the western way of life the world has grown to embrace... But there is more to it.
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he media is a very powerful tool and it has for many years been instrumental in shaping the way people view polygamy. It has succeeded in brainwashing people to believe that wrong is right and vice versa. When it comes to polygamy, we have seen countless times in movies, read in magazine or heard on the radio that it is an evil tool used by men to get their way with women and should as a practice cease to exist. Feminist groups have taken this issue up many times and are constantly fighting to liberate women, mostly Muslim, from the so-called claws of polygamy. The media has also strategically chosen to shed light on select cases of polygamous marriages which have gone wrong and successfully
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convinced its audience to view them as typical marriages. The audience, among which are Muslims, absorb this distorted representation of polygamy and fail to realize that human nature and sin are separate from the teaching and doctrines of Islam. Polygamy in the sense in which it is practiced in Islam is referred to as polygyny; a form of marriage in which a man has two or more wives at the same time. This practice is recognised under the civil law of 47 countries, under the customary law of 13 countries and is recognised as a legal foreign marriage in Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. In countries like The United States, Canada and France where polygyny is illegal, it interesting to see that a woman can often be dating more than one man at a time and
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a man could be dating numerous women as well and it is all socially acceptable as long as they are not legally committed to one another by marriage. In a contributed article by Jonathan Turley for The New York Times titled “One Big, Happy Polygamous Family”, Turley brought up a great point; how is it that many states are beginning to abandon the laws that criminalise homosexuality and adulterous relations, yet they still want to go on prosecuting polygamists? Turley is of the opinion that “some view the effort to decriminalise polygamy as a threat to the recognition of same-sex marriage or gay rights generally.” Whether that is true or not is still debatable, however his article did spark many responses which for the most part depict the general tone of the American public concerning the matter. They believe that polygamy “promotes female child abuse, demeans women and exists only in situations where the woman has a minimal education level” and this is immensely due to the hold media has on many of its followers. With regards to Islam’s prescription of polygamy, it is true that there are some instances in which polygamy is wrongly practiced. A recent example in the UK is that of Dr. Zabina Shahian who married
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Pervez Choudhry who failed to mention to her that he was legally married to someone else in Pakistan. This major omission on his part made Dr. Shahian feel like her marriage was based on a lie and for this reason she divorced him. In an interview by Linda Serck for BBC, Dr. Shahian explained that many of her family members discouraged her decision to get divorced because according to them she is “supposed to keep her mouth shut and just carry on”. Although her situation and the ways of her family are unfortunate, they are by no means Islamic problems but cultural ones instead. In Islam when getting married, the man is responsible for informing his bride to be as to whether she will be his first, second, third or fourth wife. This woman then has the choice to decide whether she wants to proceed with the marriage or not. The media is skilful in magnifying cases of Muslim women like Dr. Shahian’s who opted to end their polygamous marriages and is even more skilful at omitting the fact that many times it is due to the malpractice of polygamy. Polygamy as prescribed by Allah SWT is as follows: “if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall
“A man should be physically, mentally, financially & spiritually able to marry more than one wife”
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not be able to deal wives feels like she justly (with them), is being deserted by then only one, or (a her husband or being captive) that your treated unfairly, she right hands possess is free to divorce him that will be more since Islam does not suitable, to prevent encourage staying you from doing inmarried to someone justice.”Quran 4:3 against your will. In Islam polygamy is I recently heard not the norm as many the story of man may think, however who is married to it is permitted. Islam two women. When calls for men to be physihe was younger, he went “If for any cally, mentally, financially off to school and fell in love and spiritually able to marry reason one of with one of his female class more than one wife. All mates. They began dating, the wives feels had pre-marital sex and once wives must be treated fairly and equally, their property like she is being her family found out they must be separate but equal sent her to live with family deserted by her and finally, there should members in another town. be no favouritism when it The man went on to finish husband or comes to the children and his studies and never heard being treated their treatment. If the man from the woman again. He unfairly, she is then met someone else, got has carefully and wisely chosen his wives, they married and began his life free to would fear Allah SWT and with her. Some years later, divorce him” while dropping his child off love each other for the sake of Allah SWT. They would at school, he bumped into understand that HE would not prescribe that first woman who had recently moved something which is bad for them and they back to town and was enrolling her child at would also keep that in mind when human that same school. After talking he learned nature will come over them and they might that she got pregnant after their encounter, get jealous of one another as Ai’sha (May kept the child and has never been married. Allah be pleased with Her) became jealous Out of guilt for his sin of pre-marital sex of Khadijah (Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) and compassion for the woman he knew first wife). If for any reason one of the that the right thing to do would be to marry 34
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her. She agreed, his first wife understood and that is how he married two women. Each wife is happy, they live in separate houses and they only interact during family gathering. It is easy to write off polygamy because it does not conform to the western way of life the world has grown to embrace. At first glance it seems like a heartbreaking situation for a woman; when in reality is a security blanket prescribed by Allah SWT. All parties are ensured under the marriage laws and if anything were to happen to the husband, all wives would be taken care of. Many great women, including The Prophet Muhammad’s wives (May Allah be please with them) have lived harmoniously in polygamous marriages. Scriptures have also shown us that they are human and therefore susceptible to human nature such as jealousy. However the scriptures also give us prescriptions for how to deal with it and remain focused on Allah’s SWT word. So before you write off a man just because he is already married, or your husband brings home another wife, think about Allah’s SWT prescription for man and use The Prophet’s SAW wives as examples. Surely you may feel a bit hurt or jealous, but that is human nature and it will pass. Patience, understanding and steadfast prayer will never lead you astray, because pleasing Allah SWT is above all.
FAITH
50 FACTS ABOUT MARRIAGE
By: Wajih Ahmed - The Daily Reminders
1. Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created. You have to work at it. 2. If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer. 3. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness. 4. It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time. 5. When you complain about your spouse to your friends, remember that their feedback can be distorted. 6. The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with. 7. It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time. 8. It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with what you have. 9. If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again. 10. Growing up in a happy household doesn’t ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa. 11. It’s never too late to repair damaged trust. 12. The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about. 13. Love isn’t just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions. 14. Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment. 15. Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided. 16. One of the greatest gifts you can give >
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THE DUTIES OF A WIFE This is a list of the 8 main duties you have as a Muslim wife as prescribed by the Holy Quran. By Fatima Togbe.
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1. Obey your husband: As a righteous woman of Islam you should strive to obey your husband in all matters (that Islam has permitted) as best as you can, for Allah SWT said “...the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands)...” 4:34 2. Show your husband gratefulness: The Prophet Muhammad SAW reported in Nisa’I that “Allah will not look at a woman who is not thankful to her husband despite the fact that she can not get along without her husband”. So it is your duty as a wife to show your husband gratitude and appreciation for his efforts. 3. Seek your husband’s permission: Since it has been prescribed that your husband as the right of qiwamah over you, you should always seek his permission when leaving the house or inviting people over. 4. Look after your husband’s wealth: As a wife it is your duty and responsibility to guard your husband’s wealth. You should however not be wasteful and squander his wealth. 5. Preserve yourself: Preserving yourself means that you should safeguard your chastity. Do not make yourself an object for public display. 6. Look after your husband’s welfare: You do so by devoting yourself to his happiness and being by his side in time of need. 7. Fulfil your husband’s needs: It is your duty to fulfil your husband’s desires; do not allow the evils of society to corrupt him and have him turn towards sin. 8. Look after your husband’s children: In Islam, mothers are also regarded as teachers and it is their duty to look after and raise the children to have Islamic identities.
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CONTINUED... your spouse is focused attention. 17. Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person. 18. Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself. 19. The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it. 20. Your opinion is not necessarily the truth. 21. Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy. 22. Guilt-tripping won’t get you what you really want. 23. Don’t neglect your friends. 24. If you think, “You are not the person I married,” you are probably right. 25. Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points. 26. Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage. 27. If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that. 28. Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100. 29. You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire. 30. Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs. 31. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continous process. 32. Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person. 33. Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.
34. A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you’ve experienced in the past. 35. Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself. 36. There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening. 37. One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is “How best can I love you?” 38. Marriage can stay fresh over time. 39. Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them. 40. Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing. 41. Good sex won’t make your marriage, but it’ll help. 42. Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but secrecy will. 43. Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love. 44. Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming. 45. If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is. 46. Marriage never outgrows the need for romance. 47. The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary. 48. There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon. 49. It’s better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong. 50. If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce. Source: The Daily Reminders
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She was one of the noblest women around, coming from a very prominent family. She was also quite beautiful and the holder of a considerable amount of wealth, being a prominent businesswoman. To marry her would have been a great feat for any man, and indeed, quite a few of the most prominent and wealthy men in society had asked for her hand. Yet, she rejected them all; already being a widow, she had lost the desire to marry again; until he came into her life. He was a young man of 25, and although he was also of a noble family, he was an orphan and was not a man of many means. He had made a meagre living tending sheep in the hills surrounding the city. Yet, he had an impeccable moral character, and he was widely known as one of the most honest men around. That is what attracted her to him. She was looking for someone honest who could conduct business for her, as she – a woman in a fiercely patriarchal society – could not do it herself. So, he started working for her. After he came back from his first business trip, she asked a servant, whom she sent with him, about him and his conduct. The servant amazed her by his report.
This young man was the kindest, gentlest men he had ever met. Never did he treat the servant harshly, as many others do. Yet, there was more; as they travelled in the heat of the desert, the servant noticed that a cloud had followed them the entire time, shading them from the blazing sun. The businesswoman was quite impressed with her new employee. Not only that, this new employee proved to be an astute businessman in his own right. He took his employer’s merchandise, sold it, and with the profits bought other merchandise that he sold again, this profiting twice. All this was enough for her. The embers of love in her heart that were once extinguished rekindled again and she was resolved to marry this young man, who was 15 years younger than she. So she sent her friend Nafisa to him. Nafisa asked him, “why are you not married, yet?” “For lack of means,” he answered. “What if I could offer you a wife of nobility, beauty, and wealth? Would you be interested?” she told him. He replied in the affirmative, but when she mentioned her friend, the young employee chuckled in amazement. “How could I marry her? She has turned
THE GREATEST LOVE STORY
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down the noblest men in the city, much wealthier and prominent than me, a poor shepherd,” he said. “Don’t worry,” Nafisa replied, “I’ll take care of it”. Not long after, the wealthy businesswoman married her young employee, and it was the beginning of one of the most loving, happiest and sacred marriages in all human history; that of Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah the daughter of Khuwaylid. When they were married, the Prophet was 25 years old and Khadijah was 40. Yet, that did not bother the Prophet one bit. He loved her so deeply, and she loved him as deeply. They were married for 25 years, and she bore him seven children; 3 sons and 4 daughters. All of the sons died in young age. Khadijah was a source of immense love, strength, and comfort for the Prophet Muhammad, and he leaned heavily on this love and support on the most important night of his life. While he was mediating in the cave of Hira, the Angel Gabriel came to the Prophet Muhammad and revealed to him the first verses of the Qur’an and declared to him that he was to be a Prophet. The experience terrified the Prophet Muhammad and he ran home, jumping into Khadijah’s arms crying, “Cover me! Cover me!” She was startled by his terror, and after soothing and comforting him
FAITH
for a while, the Prophet was able to calm down and relate to her his experience. The Prophet feared he was losing his mind or being possessed. Khadijah put all his fears to rest; “Do not worry” she said, “for by HIM who has dominion over Khadijah’s soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress”. She then took him to her cousin Waraqah ibn Nawfal and he confirmed to the Prophet that his experience was Divine and he was to be the Last Prophet. After his ministry began, and the opposition of his people became harsh and brutal, Khadijah was always there to support the Prophet Muhammad, sacrificing her wealth to support the cause of Islam. When the prophet and his family were banished to the hills outside of Mecca, she went there with him and the three years of hardship and deprivation eventually led to her death. The Prophet Muhammad mourned her deeply, and even after her death, the Prophet would send food and support to Khadijah’s friends and relatives, out of the love for his first wife. ▪
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CHARITY
CHARITY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE MONETARY
A
llah SWT is constantly reminding us throughout the Holy Quran to be steadfast in both prayer and charity. Many times we take charity to mean monetary gifts to the less fortunate; however there are many more ways to be charitable other than by donating money. Out of the many mentions of charity in the Holy Qur’an, I have two favourites. The first one is in chapter two, verse 215, and it basically explains that whatever good you do for your parents, kindred and orphans is considered charity. The next mention is in chapter 57, verse 18, and it says: “For those who give in Charity, men and women, and loan to Allah a Beautiful Loan, it shall be increased manifold (to their credit), and they have (besides) a liberal reward”.
Allah SWT has made charity compulsory to all Muslims for a reason; it is so that we may help each other, develop a sense of solidarity and ultimately deliver good to others in the name of Allah SWT. Someone once told me the story of a woman who went to a hair salon. While she was getting her hair done, the hairdresser let her know that she also does house calls if/whenever she should be interested and they exchanged phone numbers. As the hairdresser continued doing her hair, she brought her husband. Explaining to the woman that he is a plumber and in need of a job as well, and if she ever needed any plumbing work of knew of anyone that had such a need, she could contact her husband. The client began to get annoyed, asking herself why the hairdresser would bring up her husband and jeopardize her chances of being called to work just so her husband could get a job. As the story continues, the woman was asked why she got annoyed, and she explained that she felt that the hairdresser should be more independent and put her career first. What this woman fails to understand is that the hairdresser was being charitable to her husband. Of course she could have decided not to mention his plight of getting a job, but she understood that as her husband his duty is to care for their family and him getting a job is a priority (especially since she already had a steady job as a hairdresser and house calls would just be extra). In the end, the woman did not to call either of them back. This woman could have easily been charitable and taken both the hairdressers and her husband’s number and called either one of them when need be and that would not have cost her anything. So next time someone shares their problems with you, even if it is a week, month, or year later that you are able to help, please find it in your heart to remember them first of all and reach out to them. I promise you that even if they no longer need help, the simple fact that you have thought of them will bring them joy, make you a better person and will earn you points with Allah SWT. ▪
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HEALTH
Understand your
FIRST AID KIT Family health is very important, and as a woman, wife and mother there are basic things you should know about first aid and general health so you can be prepared and know when to seek help.
First aid is at once basic but very extensive. Everyone should have a first aid kit at home; so if you do not have one, I recommend you quickly invest in one. There are many places such as CVS, Giant, Boots and local pharmacies where you can get starter kits. Essentially, the kits must contain the following: germ killing and wound treatment, pain relief, bandages and dressing, and finally, an emergency information sheet.
Germ killing and wound treatment: This section of your first aid kit should consist of antiseptic cleansing wipes, castile soap towelettes, alcohol cleansing pads, insect string relief pads, antibiotic ointment and first aid/burn cream. Pain relief: This section should include extra strength non-aspirin tablets, ibuprofen tablets, aspirin tablets and any other pain relief medication which is specific to anyone in the family.
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Bandages and dressing: This part if the first aid kit should contain gauze dressing pads, 5�x9� trauma pads, triangular bandages, abdominal pads, sterile eye pads, knuckle bandages, fingertip bandages and smaller bandages of various sizes. Miscellaneous: In this section you should have plastic gloves, safety pins, scissors, tweezers, splints, chemical cold & heat packs, nail clipper and anything that may particular to your family such as inhalers etc.
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Emergency information sheet: Your emergency information sheet should contain emergency phone numbers, addresses, physician information, fire service, police, ambulance, health insurance information, blood type for all members of the family, allergies, current medical conditions, and any other important information. You should also have a first-aid guide book. Most times the kit will come with one; however it is possible for you to download one from the internet. You should go through the book thoroughly for your own safety and especially if you have smaller children. There are a few apps such as Web MD which you can download and get instant feedback with, however nothing compares to your personal knowledge in the event that there is an emergency where you might not be able to make use of your phone, tablet or computer. Like everything you use, you must not forget to replenish and restock your first aid kit as you make use of it and as items such as rubbing alcohol expire. Nothing is worse than cutting yourself and having no bandage to place on it. You should also speak with your spouse and your children (who are old enough) about the first aid kit and explain the contents to them. Place it in a safe enough place that a small child cannot find it and temper with it, but in a place that is accessible in case of an emergency. A great thing to do would be to take a family first aid course. There are many that geared to younger children as well so that they can have a basic understanding and preparedness. â–Ş
HEALTH
EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS: Physician ___________________________ Poison Control Center _________________ Ambulance __________________________ Hospital ____________________________ Health Insurance Services _______________ Police ______________________________ Fire ________________________________ MEDICAL INFORMATION: (Father, Mother, Children, Others) Blood Type __________________________ Allergies ____________________________ Current Medication ___________________ Current Medical Conditions ___________ *This information list is exemplary. You should tailor the information to suit your family’s needs. Consult with your physician for help creating and filling an emergency information list. Be sure to update the information at least four times a year or as often as your current information changes. Please insurance that all emergency contact phone numbers are fully functional. For those who live in countries where national emergency numbers are not functional, remember to add alternative contact numbers.
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MEDICAL APPS
Men vs. Makeup
This discussion has been long coming. There is a growing makeup trend amongst Muslimahs and it only makes sense that we hear the opinion of the men we beautify ourselves for.
Photo credit: Jason Salmon
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Photo credit: Jason Salmon
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am guilty of falling prey to the makeup trend. I used to work as a beauty consultant however once I realised the long term effects many these cosmetic product had on my skin (mainly aging), I began to reduce how often and how much makeup I wore. Now, for the most part, I wear eyeliner, lip gloss and do my eyebrow. I stopped wearing foundation (unless I’m going to a major event) because having a good skin care routine has really evened my skin tone. Never-the-less, it can be very impractical to have a full face of makeup on and realise that you have not made wudu or that sometime throughout your day you broke it! So my advice is the less makeup, the better!
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THIS IS WHAT MEN HAD TO SAY... “IT IS A WIFE’S DUTY TO... Always look appealing and attractive to her husband to prevent him from looking outside. Such beauty however must be concealed from public view using a hijab. Makeup should be decent and not too loud. I like my woman to look like she took her time to look attractive so yes, I like light makeup... even when I choose my wife.” Usman, 30
makeup. She does not need it. I prefer that woman be as natural as she can be. However during special events and outings, I believe that she can apply light makeup; but she should not cake on a layer of makeup.” Ibrahim, 29 “I THINK IT’S OKAY... But I would make like to see the woman I plan to marry without makeup before our nikah but ultimately I do not like overly made up women.” Idrissou, 24
“MY SISTERS ARE MUSLIM... And they wear makeup and pray regularly so I do not have a problem with makeup. I just do not like “THERE IS NO NEED... For a Muslimah to wear so much excessiveness.” Muhtar, 28
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“i prefer a woman... nd the verdict is up! The Who does not wear excessive average Muslim man does makeup. I don’t mind if she wears not mind that a woman some makeup but it should be nat- wears makeup, as long as it is light ural looking.” Abubakar, 28 and natural looking. So let’s get into beauty habits. “i do not care much... Whether she wears makeup or not; believe that it is highly posjust as long as it is of not too much.” sible to look just as beautiful Sadiq without any makeup on if you maintain good skin care and beau“Personally... ty habits. You can grow your hair I am not a fan of makeup. Do not out (no matter what ethnicity), you get me wrong, I do not mind if a can grow your lashes, and you can woman wears light makeup, but I have flawless skin. What more is prefer that she did not.” Farouk there? Sure you might want to use eyeliner once in a while or lipstick. But you would not need to apply as much makeup because your natural beauty foundation will be a lot more solid.
I
MEN ON TWITTER THINK...
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is unique to each person). You will have to take the time to understand your hair and create a personal hair regime to suit your needs.
THE BASICS
* * * *
If your hair is permed, you should apply a protein treatment right after relaxing your hair and once a month thereafter. You should make sure that your shampoo and conditioner contain protein (it would be marked on the label). After rising out your conditioner, you should also apply a moisturising conditioner.
When drying your hair with a towel you should blot your GROWING YOUR HAIR hair instead. However ideally it would be best to use a 100% cotton “O Muslimah... The Noor on your face is more Many sisters who have really curly, cloth or just an old T-shirt will do. beautiful than the makeup you kinky and coarse hair might find You should also apply a leave wear. Wear the “Iman makeup” its it hard to grow their hair past a certain length without it breakin condition or moisturizer FREE.” Durre ing. Hair guru Sister Saudah of and then apply less than a teaAll About African Hair, explains spoon of oil to seal the moisture in; “defeats the purpose... Of giving dawah when you are that the reason the hair breaks off as oil does not moisturize your hair. caked with makeup pouting. Re- so often is because the frizzy/curly member hijab is supposed to be texture of the hair makes it difficult The same goes for eyelashes. Defor the natural oil secreted from pending on the texture of your simple” Sarmad the scalp to makes its way along lashes, they may not be getting the length of the hair shaft. This in enough moisture so before going to “hijab... With 5 layers of makeup is NOT hi- turn makes the hair more suscep- bed what you can curl your lashes tible to drying and breaking. The with an eyelash curler and using a jab.” Rihan remedy, Sister Saudah tells us is clean mascara wand (a toothbrush moisture and protein. She however will do) apply Vaseline to your “what is the point... Of wearing so much makeup and warns that too much of either one lashes. Be careful not to get any hijab? Who are you trying to im- can cause an imbalance and ulti- in your eyes though. This will give mately lead to damaged hair. The your lashes the moisture they need. press?” Anonymous key is to establish a balance (which Continue on page 56>
*
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BEAUTY
WE LOVE VERA WANG
NATURAL Smashbox Artificial Light Luminizing Lotion($ 26)
When it comes to looking natural, that can never be out of style. This season many designers have gone back to basics with neutral and nude colours.
Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Pur Couture. ($ 30) Tom Ford Beauty Lip Colour ($ 48)
BACK TO BASICS
Chanel Rouge Allure Luminous Intense Lip Colour ($ 34)
Many people have the tendency to start their makeup routine with foundation, eyeliner and an eyebrow pencil but before they know it, they feel the need to add eye shadow, then blush, then mascara, then concealer and by the time they are finished, they are fully made up. Achieving the natural look can be tricky at times because once you over do it, that’s it, you have lost it. Instead of applying foundation straight onto your face, try mixing it with some lotion to get a lighter and more natural look. Try a bronzer, or a more neutral blush instead of your regular darker colours. With your eyes, draw a thinner line with your eyeliner and do not use a lot of mascara either. For your eyebrows, line the bottom and slowly blend upward. Finally with your lips, go for nude colours, or just lip gloss.
Images credit to Saks Fifth Avenue, Polyvore and Nordstrom
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RACHEL ROY
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Laura Mercier Arabesque Collection Nail Lacquer ($ 18)
If you are not big on makeup, I still advise that you take extra care of your skin by at least going through a basic skin care routine such as: cleansing, toning, moisturizing and sun protecting. Also, if your skin is oily all over or just in the T-zone, I suggest that you use a translucent powder to reduce the shin. If your skin is dry, you should use an appropriate moisturizer or add extra moisture with products such as the Clinique Moisture Surge line.
La Mere The foundation brush ($ 40) M路A路C Duo Fiber Face Brush ($ 42)
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Mason Pearson Rake Comb ($ 30) continued from p53 To sum up the advice the hair guru Saudah gave us regarding hair care and growth, remember to always use a comb when dealing with your hair. It is less rough on your hair and minimizes the breakage. Shampoo and condition regularly using protein fortified products. Between washes, keep hair moisturized and seal the moisture in with an oil based product. â–Ş
Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Nutrient spray & Miracle dry Oil ($ 5.99ea) 56
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MORE INFORMATION For more information about growing your hair and maintaining it, visit http://allaboutafricanhair.wordpress.com
Carol's Daughter Monoi Repairing Shampoo & Conditioner ($ 18 - $ 20)
ADVERTIZE with
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the Health benefits of wearing
hijab
By: Nouran Amin
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T
o wear or not wear Hijab is probably the most discussed topic among us Muslimah’s and that is probably because of its life commitment aspect. However, what some of us don’t realize is Hijab comes with a guaranteed box of never ending rewards; one of those rewards is our health and well being. So, below I found some fascinating health benefits of wearing Hijab. Hijab helps prevent sunburns and skin cancer. We all know that Hijab does not mean that cute scarf we wrap around our hair, but its the full modesty that falls under the Islamic dress code which means covering everything except our hands, face, and feet. So, in short, Hijab protects our most vulnerable body parts from the sun which is our neck, arms, legs, back, and chest. Because, honestly even if you're wearing tons of sunscreen and even if you’re wearing it from the best brands nothing will guarantee you 100% protection from the rays unless if you’re covered in the Islamic standards. Those are actually not my words just go ask any dermatologist and they will say the same thing that the only protection from the sun is dressing
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the way Allah (SWT) has why hats were invented for described in the Holy Quran. a reason its not just to keep our ears warm or make a Subhan’Allah!!!!! fashion statement but its to Hijab protects the health keep the heat from escaping of our hair. This is actually our body. This actually helps pretty ironic because a lot of keep our body warm during sisters including me complain the winter but of course Hijab that Hijab causes our hair to already fulfills this purpose fall out because it’s always with or without a hat. Also, covered. But, actually after during the summer, Hijab a bit of research its quite the won’t make you feel hot as opposite. Hijab protects our most of us think (depends on hair from the cold harsh the material of hijab you’re winters that could be the wearing) but, instead Hijab major cause of our hair falling serves as a major protection out due to excessive exposure to our hair. Covering your to freezing temperatures. head during the summer Hijab also protects our hair is not only to keep the sun from humidity which can dry away from our eyes but, it’s out the hair strands making it to actually protect your locks appear like a messed up bird from the brutal damage the nest. So, don’t worry peeps sun rays may give. The sun Hijab actually protects our can actually cause severe split hair from other things like ends and long time dryness to lice, dandruff, pollution, and your hair but, of course there’s the person sitting behind no need to worry with that you who constantly sneezes Hijab on. without covering their mouth. In other words, there is no Disclamer: One Should Wear damage the Hijab brings to Hijab Only For The Sake of the hair it all depends on how Allah (SWT) And Not For you take care of it and if there Materialistic Things Like The happens to be any damage it So Called “Health Benefits” This won’t equal the amount of Was Just For Informing Purposes. damage you’ll get without If You’re Planning To Wear Hijab Hijab. or Currently Wearing Hijab You Should Wear It Only and Only
Hijab regulates our body For Allah (SWT) Otherwise You temperature. Did you know Will Have A Very Hard Time. ▪ we lose most of our body heat through our heads? That’s HAYATIONLINE.COM
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FASHION
1
Jane Long Floral Print Dress, ERDEM, $3425
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Image credit: Erdem for Bergdorf Goodman
H i j a b Friendly L o o k s
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Square Neck Lace Gown, DOLCE & GABBANA, $4525
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3
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Image credit: Carolina Herrera for Bergdorf Goodman
Taffeta Gown, CAROLINA HERRERA, $4290
Image credit: Dolce & Gabbana for Bergdorf Goodman
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Sequined Sweater & Lame Pleated Skirt, OSCAR DE LA RENTA $2290 - $3490
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Image credit: Oscar De La Renta for Bergdorf Goodman
Pleated Long Sleeve Chiffon Gown, OSCAR DE LA RENTA, $4690
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Silk Georgette Capelet Gown, ELIE SAAB, $4790
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Image credit: Monique Lhuillier Bergdorf Goodman
Lace Neck Gown, MONIQUE LHUILLIER, $5890
Flat Edited by Fatima Togbe
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Line
FASHION
Horsebit-detailed patent-leather loafers, GUCCI, $575 Call 1 877 678 9627
Sheila leopard-print satin slippers, CHARLES PHILIP SHANGHAI, $135, Call 1 877 678 9627
Madras Metallic Woven Leather Tassel Loafer, PRADA, $650, Call 1 877 678 9627
Filme color-block leather brogues, ROBERT CLERGERIE, $595, Call 1 877 678 9627
Nina Two-Piece Skimme, VINCE, $295, Call 1 877 678 9627 Crystal-studded suede slippers, VALENTINO, $895, Call 1 877 678 9627
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Quick Fix
Equestria Heel-Plate Red Sole Bootie, CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN, $1895 Call 1 877 678 9627
Edited by Fatima Togbe
Crystal-embellished suede sandals, LANVIN, $2800, Call 1 877 678 9627
Malika perforated leather sandals, JIMMY CHOO, $995, Call 1 877 678 9627
Arnold 100 patent-leather and mirrored-python sandals, CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN, $895, Call 1 877 678 9627
Arnold 100 patentleather and mirroredpython sandals, RENE CAOVILLA, $1365, Call 1 877 678 9627
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Kendall Beaded Platform Pump, JIMMY CHOO, $2995, Call 1 877 678 9627
HAYATI
FASHION
1. 1. Gucci, Embroidered Broadway Evening Bag, $1690;
2. Judith Leiber, Zahara Optic Shoulder Bag, $3195; 3. Valentino, Girello Flap Bag, $2795; 4. Jason Wu, Karlie Crystal & Stone Embellished Satin Box Clutch, $2195; 5. Charlotte Olympia, Pandora Bamboo Perspex Clutch, $895; 6. Marc by Marc Jacobs, Preppy Leather Pearl Color-Block Tote, $470
4.
2.
5.
6. 3.
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FASHION
Pastel Paradise Scarf
Bermuda Twilight Scarf
Chocolate and Roses Scarf
Urban Sunset Scarf
Lovely In Lilac Scarf
Cherry on Top Scarf
$20.00
$20.00
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$20.00
$20.00
$20.00
$20.00
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Photo credit: Zeba Ramos
HAYATI
ARMINE
HAYATI
LIVING
Hayati Living BEING A TOP CHEF AT HOME By Fatima Togbe
I know many of you have gone through days where you just do not know what to cook or eat. You are tired of eating left-overs days in a row and it is easier for you to order in or just go out for dinner. Growing up, my mom’s solution for this was to have a menu. This is great for sisters with children because making a menu it is not only a great bonding experience for you and the children but also a great way to stay organized. This is equally suitable for all other sisters mainly because it is an easy way to keep your head above water and it facilitates home-making
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and grocery shopping. Compiled on the next page is a complete 7 days (3 meals) menu. You can use the menu as is or as a guideline and impute your preferred meals. Since the meals are planned ahead of time, you will have more time to look up recipes and understand the cooking process. Over the course of two weeks, I am sure that you will notice more consistancy in your eating habits. If you stick to the menu, your meals will be more balanced and the variety in dishes will have you looking forward to each meal. â–Ş
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LIVING
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GLOVE ME?
O
GLOVE ME NOT?
ne of the many things that really drives me crazy is growing my nails out for 2 or 3 months, then doing the dishes or some other household chore and having half my nails break off! I would love to tell you that I have found a permanent solution to this, but all I can do is share little tricks I have developed to delay the inevitable. Once my nails are at a length where they can easily chip off, I begin to take extra precaution with everything I do; but mainly with household chores. When it comes to washing the tub or anything else which involves me using and getting my hands wet, I have a few options for you: 82
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GLOVE ME?
1. Some would say wearing gloves is the best option. I have found that this works when my nails are still relatively short; however once they have reached a long enough length, they can easily bend and break under the gloves without you noticing. My advice if you are to wear gloves is to apply 2-3 coats of a nail protector polish (or nail hardener) before working so your nails are harder and less susceptible to breaking. 2. My preferred option is to apply a few coats of nail protector on both sides of the nail (I don’t bother about neatness because I will be removing it afterwards, but I do make sure I cover all surfaces). Once they are dry, I can begin my chores. The nail protector hardens
GLOVE ME NOT?
the nails and protects them to a certain extent from chipping or breaking even when the nails are wet. My tip for this method is to still be careful and once your chores are done; remove the polish and let your nails dry for about 30 minutes. If I have an hour or more until prayer time, I sometimes apply another coat of the nail protector while I wait for my nails to dry. 3. Finally, you can choose to either wear gloves or not and use cleaning utensils with elongated handles. These handles minimize your contact with water however I have found that when I am doing heavy duty cleaning, I still end up gripping the sponge at the base for a better handle.
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LIVING
Hayati Recipes A few cool recipes from West Africa which will really do you some good during the winter or any other season. Plus a heart warming Amercican favorite desert.
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LIVING NIGERIAN GOAT MEAT PEPPER SOUP
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
1kg Goat Meat (cubes) 1 small Onion chopped coarsely 3 teaspoon of dry Pepper (ground) 1 tablespoon of All-purpose sprices 2 Seasoning Cubes 1 litre of water Salt for taste
In a medium sized pot, add the onion, salt, a teaspoon of pepper and the goat meat. Simmer until the natural juices from the meat have dried up. Add the litre of water, stir and add the all purpose spices, the remaining pepper and the seasoning cubes. Cook on medium heat till the meat is tender and the stock has slightly thickened. Serve hot.
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HAYATI
LIVING WEST AFRICAN FRIED RICE
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
2 cups Parboiled rice 1 Medium green peeper (diced) 1/2 Medium red onion (diced) 1 cup Green peas 1 cup Diced cooked carrots 1 teaspoon White pepper Salt to taste 1 stick Stick of butter 2 teaspoons Afrofood Curry powder 1 teaspoon Afrofood Thyme 2 teaspoons Chicken bouillon powder
Place rice in a pot with 2 cups of water, salt to taste and place over medium heat. In a saucepan over low to medium heat, melt butter. Once melted, add green pepper and onions and sautĂŠ mixture for about 3 minutes. Add all dry spices and mix intermittently, taking care not to allow bottom of pan to burn. After 5 minutes of total cooking time for green pepper mixture, add fully cooked rice. Once well mixed, add carrots and green peas and fold into rice. Serve hot.
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LIVING AMERICAN APPLE CRISP
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
4 medium tart cooking apples, sliced (4 cups) 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour 1/2 cup quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats 1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 3/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg Cream or Ice cream, if desired
Heat oven to 375ºF. Grease bottom and sides of 8-inch square pan with shortening.
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Spread apples in pan. In medium bowl, stir remaining ingredients except cream until well mixed; sprinkle over apples. Bake about 30 minutes or until topping is golden brown and apples are tender when pierced with a fork. Serve warm with cream.
ARMINE
HAYATI
SHOP GUIDE
COVER On model: Clothes and accessories provided by model. HAYATI EDITORS CHOICE Zevra print silk jersey dress by Issa, $993, visit net-a-porter.com. A midsummer night’s dream embroided cluth by Olympia Le-Tan, $1880, visit net-a-porter.com. Sequin skull embellished suede loafers by Alexander McQueen, $645, visit net-a-porter.com. Crystal and cord earrings by Lanvin, $780, visit net-a-porter.com. Cat-eye glittered acetate and metal by Miu Miu, $390, visit net-a-porter.com. HAYATI FAITH Q/A:We have answered these questions to the best of our knowledge, making use of the Holy Quran, Hadiths, Scholars and Fatwas. May Allah SWT reward us for what we have gotten right and forgive/correct us for those we have gotten wrong. Marriage: Work cited: The Quran translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali, Sahih Muslim translated by Abdul Hamid Siddiqui and The ideal Muslimah by Dr. Muhammad `Ali al-Hashimi Polygamy: Work cited: The Quran translated by Abdullah Yusuf Ali, Sahih Muslim translated by Abdul Hamid Siddiqui, The ideal Muslimah by Dr. Muhammad `Ali al-Hashimi and Melanie Elturk Facts about Marriage: Article was reposted from TheDailyReminders.com The Greatest Love Story: Story was taken from “The life of Muhammad” by Hadrat Mirza Bashiruddin HAYATI BEAUTY We love natural: Artificial light luminizing lotion by SMASHBOX $26, Visit: sephora.com. Rouge pur couture by YVES SAINT LAURENT, $30, Visit: sephora.com. Beauty lip color by TOM FORD, $48, Visit: sephora.com. Rouge Allure luminous intense lip color by Chanel, $34, Visit: sephora.com. Arabesque collection nail lacqeur, LAURA MERCIER, $18, Visit: bergdorfgoodman.com. The foundation brush by LA MERE, $40, Visit: bergdorfgoodman.com, Duo fiber face brush by MAC, $42, Visit: bergdorfgoodman.com Rake comb by Mason Pearson, $30, Visit: bergdorfgoodman.com, HAYATI FASHION Hijab-friendly: Jane Long Floral Print Dress, ERDEM, $3425; Square Neck Lace Gown, DOLCE & GABBANA, $4525; Square Neck Lace Gown, DOLCE & GABBANA, $4525; Sequined Sweater & Lame Pleated Skirt, OSCAR DE LA RENTA $2290 - $3490; Pleated Long Sleeve Chiffon Gown, OSCAR DE LA RENTA, $4690; Silk Georgette Capelet Gown, ELIE SAAB, $4790; Lace Neck Gown, MONIQUE LHUILLIER, $5890; All from Bergdorfgoodman.com Shoes: Christian Louboutin, Equestria Heel-Plate Red Sole Bootie, $1895.00; Giuseppe Zanotti Open-Toe Side-Buckle Ankle Boot, Brown, $1250.00; Prada, Madras Metallic Woven Leather Tassel Loafer, $650.00; Vince, Nina Two-Piece Skimmer Nude, $295.00; Jimmy Choo, Kendall Beaded Platform Pump, $2995.00; Rene Caovilla, Jeweled Ankle-Wrap Platform Sandal, $1365.00; All from Bergdorfgoodman.com Bags: Judith Leiber, Zahara Optic Shoulder Bag, $3195.00; Gucci, Embroidered Broadway Evening Bag, Black, $1690.00; Valentino, Girello Flap Bag, $2795.00; Gucci, Embroidered Broadway Evening Bag, Desert Rose, $1690.00 88
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