Issue 11

HAYATI No 11

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180 Talbott Street, Rockville, Maryland, 20852 No 11 December 2013 Chief Brand Officer: Fatima Togbe The magazine HAYATI is a publication edited for Hayati by Kimera Media, Potomac, Maryland, 20854 Editor-In-Chief : FATIMA TOGBE Director of Marketing & Advertising: AAMIRA JOHNSON aamira@hayatimagazine.com Online Editor & Content Director: BINTA MOHAMMED binta@hayatimagazine.com Tel. +1(573) 415-0275 Writers: RUMKI CHOWDHURY, SARA YOUSSEF, & NDAA HASSAN Beauty Consultant/Writer: HOLLY KNOYLE-HUGHES Online Blogger: ALYA ALFATHEL Contributed to this issue: Sadaf Farooqi, Fatimah Gimsay, Hayati Revert BBM group, Yuganov K., Konrad, Anna S., Jay, Ink Studios, Haider Yousuf, Anand, Serov and Vataya For more information about advertising, makerting, sponsorship, media coverage, sponsored features and more contact the Director of Marketing and Advertising, Aamira Johnson at aamira@hayatimagazine.com or visit our media kit site: www.hayatimagazine.com/mediakit Ad Director: +234 816 518 1507 Client Director: +1 573 415 0275 Chairman & CEO: fatima@hayatimagazine.com Š HAYATI MAGAZINE, USA 2013

Special thanks to my mother, Inusa Ubby, Our BBM Groups, and All our readers and followers.

Hayati is published monthly by Kimera Media, Potomac, MD, 20854. Hayati is currently only available online. Subscription is free.

For information about reprint, e-prints and previous issues please contact +1(202) 618-7284 or media@hayationline.com. The Editor is not responsible for the texts, photos, illustrations and drawings published herein, which are the sole responsibility of the authors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written consent/permission is strictly prohibited. Hayati cannot accept responsibilit for submitted material.

SUE S I R O EDIT N. 11

REVERTING BACK TO ISLAM Reverting to Islam is a major step in anyone’s life. Although you are not changing who you are, you are changing what you believe in, how you dress and how you relate with other, so it is only natural for people to think that that you are a totally different person. It is very important that you do not forget yourself once you convert. I believe that Allah SWT made everyone the way they are for a reason and things such as your sense of humour, talents, flare for fashion or even your business savviness should not be thrown out the door alongside your bad habits. In fact they should stay by your side and you should use them to make you a better Muslim.

People tend to be very judgemental when they are face with the unknown. If you are reverting in a community where there are no Muslims, or within a family or group of friends where no one is close to a Muslim person, you may most likely feel a resistance in the beginning. Your friends may be bummed because they no longer have a drinking buddy, but guess what? Half my friends are Christian and when we go out I am always drinking tea. Your family members may be shy or even embarrassed to be seen with you in public because of your hijab, but guess what? Other than covering your hair, you style of dressing can pretty much remain the same (as long as you its long enough).

Turbans are always a good idea and easier way to ease your new found religion on the people around you. I hope that you find this issue helpful and do not forget that you can always contact us with stories or idea for topics to cover. I still want to hear from you!

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LIST Our editor’s hot picks

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Togbe shares her must-haves

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HAYATI NOVEMBER 2013

BEAUTY Holly’s Monthly Beauty List

EVENTS MOMO Awards

IN EVERY ISSUE FAITH Hero or Misfit?

Revert Diaries Revert Issues At Work & School Stop Calling Me A Revert Christian Patway To Islam Hijab Challenges For Reverts Revert Living In A Muslim Country My Daughter Is A Muslim

Editor’s Letter Editor’s Wish List Hot Spots Share Hayati Insta-Hayati Download Instructions Credits

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LIST Holly’s Monthly Beauty

BEAUTY

HAYATI

BABY LIPS HAYATI EXCLUSIVE

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Hayati & M.A.C. Professional Makeup artist Holly KnoyleHughes brings us her favorite beauty products for this month.

I came across these in my local drug store. They are super cute and come in 6 moisturising varieties (Peppermint, Pink Punch, Peach Kiss, Grape Vine, Cherry Me, Quenched). Each different Baby Lips comes in a different colour shades which looks great on all skin tones because the colour pay off is very sheer. You won’t need a mirror to apply it because glides on with minim effort. I have used them continuously for a week, and I noticed my lips were not so dry and noticeably softer.

They keep your lips moisturised for 8 hours with it’s amazing ingredients, including vitamin E. I will always keep one of these handy and they have become a real makeup bag staple.

Maybelline Baby Lips, £2.99 (prices may vary) HAYATIMAGAZINE.COM

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T S LI Holly’s ly Month Beauty

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BLUSHER HAYATI EXCLUSIVE Rose Gold is my new favourite blusher. EVER! I use it on everyone: young, old, for bridal clients, party clients, photo shoots and in makeovers. You name it and I have put it on them! I just love everything about this blusher. It’s highly pigmented and I never need to top it up after applying. It gives an instant glow to the cheeks and with the gold shimmer running through the rose pink, it can be used as blusher or highlighter depending on the look. I like to use a big powder brush and lightly dust it on my arms and legs. It’s suits all skin tones. It’s really versatile. It comes in a compact with a mirror, and for the price its very good value for money. Ladies, it’s a must.

Sleek Makeup, 8g/0.27oz - £4.49

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LIST Holly’s Month ly Beauty

HAYA TI

BEAU T

VINYL GLOSS HAYATI EXCLUSIVE This gloss is high shine and high impact. Vinyl Gloss in clear can be worn on its own for a natural effortless look or can be added on top of lip colour to add the ultimate glossy finish.

The texture of the gloss, once on the lips, is light weight and doesn’t feel like you have anything on. Not sticky at all. I wear this gloss for hours at a time and find it doesn’t bleed or move.

The perfect start or finish to any makeup look

Rimmel Vinyl Gloss, £5.00 (prices may vary)

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T S LI Holly’s ly Month Beauty

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TANGLE TEEZER HAYATI EXCLUSIVE I love and use this brush all the time. It’s great for home or professional use. Perfect for detangling the most knotted hair.

It smooths out and doesn’t rip through hair or encourage split ends. It works wonders on wet, vulnerable and coloured hair that is over processed without tugging, pulling, yanking or even snapping! Great for wet or dry hair. I even use it on my husbands beard! I really like this brush and since using it I have noticed my hair doesn’t get knotty throughout the day. It does a fantastic job at back combing too. They come in loads of different colours and designs. Really funky and really useful!

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HAIRSPRAY HAYATI EXCLUSIVE When it comes to hairspray I am really fussy. But when it comes to Silvlkrin hairspray I am a real fan. It helps protect your hair from UV damage whilst giving long lasting, maximum hold but your hairstyle still has a flexible feel. It doesn’t dry out or leave my hair feeling sticky or crunchy. Fab. It brushes out too, so at the day after use your hair feels great and ready for a fresh new style.

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LIST Holly’s Month ly Beauty

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DEVINE NIGHT HAYATI EXCLUSIVE

The beautiful and much talked about winter holiday collection is here! Devine Night. It’s gorgeous in colour and rich in texture and finishes. Limitless luxury. A collection is inspired by 70’s glamour and evenings of lavish living. It’s after hours and excess. If in doubt, throw some glitter on it! When the clock strikes 12, the fun begins. And remember… the darkness keeps the secretes!

With an amazing array of products and colours, a make-up can be created for every mood with this collection. I am particularly in love with the Mineralized Skinfinish (Scene to be Seen, Centre of Attention, Perfectly Poised). They can be best described as a mixture of highlighters and blushers. A quick easy way to make your cheeks a focus feature or to finish off an already brilliant makeup look.

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HERO OR MISFIT?

By Lauren Booth

they thought) for the Prophet (peace be upon him), after he announced to his closest relatives that God was One. Rumors and gossip mongering played a large part in their scheme to discredit him. Once all the locals in Makkah had been told/warned to avoid Prophet Muhammad, then even visitors, international pilgrims, to the city, were told to avoid the ‘magician,’ the ‘wizard’.

Time and again assertions were made that Prophet Muhammad had ‘gone mad.’ Why this accusation in particular?

‘Mum I’m a Muslim’.

This statement falls from your lips.

Then you watch, heart pounding, as your mother, the one who gave birth to you, who knows you inside and out, struggles to put words to her horror – that you have suddenly joined the most pilloried faith in the modern world.

Despite the fact that before taking my Shahadah I had spent half a decade traveling the Muslim world, my mum was still shocked. She had never expected me (‘of all people’), her Jack Daniels drinking, low neckline wearing, foul mouthed, eldest daughter, to embrace something so ‘puritanical’.

All credit to my mum though. Despite her silent horror, she has (with bitten lip) for the past three years, worked hard at accepting that Islam has entered her family from this most unexpected direction.

What goes on in the homes, the difficulties faced, are mirrored, or worsened by the reaction of wider society.

Certainly, this is true in the West. It was ever thus.

FROM MAKKAH TO THE UK We remember that the Quraysh put into process a deliberate plan aimed at making life intolerable (or so

Because he was previously known and respected for his good character. He was a relative of some of the most powerful people in the Arabian Peninsula at the time. Therefore he could not be written off as a ‘fool’ or a man of evil. Both would have been easily disproved.

So, the accusation of madness was made. God revealed the following verse in response to these lies: {Nun. By the pen and what they inscribe, You are not, (O Muhammad), by the favor of your Lord, a madman.

And indeed, for you is a reward uninterrupted. And indeed, you are of a great moral character. So you will see and they will see. Which of you is the afflicted (by the devil).} (Al-Qalam 68: 1-6) As in the Prophet’s time, so today, there seems to be an imprinted pattern of reaction unchanged in more than 1400 years. The main difference is that instead of poetic insults being hurled at Muslims in the market place or the Ka’bah, Twitter and Facebook are the preferred mediums of spreading fear and loathing.

I was amazed that far from the spirituality change being questioned when I announced my own conversion, the main questions put to me by disbelieving colleagues and acquaintances was to do with what they consider a ‘lifestyle’ change.

What! NO alcohol at all?

What! NO sausages and bacon?

What about boyfriends then?

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Never mind I was in my forties and a mother of two So, pantomime villain, manic depressive or social children. Clubbing, dating, drunkenness are sadly misfit, Western reverts face a series of social assaults deemed things that British people cannot do without. after they take Shahadah.

We have a RIGHT to drink ourselves into a hospital ward and a RIGHT to make fools of ourselves at the THE REAL QUESTION ubiquitous ‘office party’.

The most telling feature of our life change, from darkness to understanding, has a far more subtle SOCIAL MISFITS? flavor. This is expressed by the people who know you Most reverts describe a gradual – or even immediate the best. Those we have grown up with. The ‘bf ’s’ (best – ‘drifting away’ from people and places they enjoyed friends) we had water fights with. Those we cried with previously. Pubs, bars, clubs, social gatherings where over exam results and laughed with until the tears house prices are the main topics of conversation; these flowed over our most embarrassing teenage gaffs. The just become either horrifically dark or unbearably childhood buddies whose treetop pledges of ‘forever friends’ blossomed into a genuine, hard wearing, boring. affection.

Islam opens our minds to a whole new universe.

Like a door that was locked keeping us in the broom These special people are the real reflection of the cupboard of existence, has been flung open and there changes that have taken place inside our minds, our before us lies infinity. Nope. Engaging with half bodies and our spirit. hour conversations about fashion just doesn’t cut it For in their eyes, in their gentle, questioning anymore. comments, the revert is reminded of the enormity of The social isolation that almost inevitably occurs isn’t the journey we have embarked upon. all the choice of our former associates. Prayer and ‘You’ve changed’ said my friend Sam, the last time we reflection are not spectator sports. ate together.

Meanwhile, should you begin to wear the hijab then mainstream society recoils in horror, then mocks. The ‘And I feel a peace in you, that wasn’t there before.’ ancient plan of discreditation begins.

When we enter Islam, we humble ourselves before The very papers I wrote with, for over a decade, God. The abuse from society only strengthens our trust have recently become the most vociferous in their in Him. Being mocked at or denigrated only makes personal attacks. I am neither surprised nor angry at us appreciate all the more, the trials that our beloved this predictable turn of events. As a former colleague Prophet Muhammad faced. So, the real question isn’t of some of the most highly respected and published will society change towards us, for history shows us writers and editors in the UK, how else can they cope that is unlikely. (in 1000 words or less) with a colleague coming to a religion they regularly pillory for cash? Seriously, are The real question then is how can we be as composed as Prophet Muhammad was to those who are harsh they going to be respectful or non sensational? towards us?

Muslim reverts in the public eye in Britain, must be painted as needy, social failures, possibly in the grip And how can we be as grateful and as patient during of a mid-life crisis in order for society as a whole, in our own small trials and thank God for the good days its gaudy drunken Technicolor, to continue making and the bad? sense. {Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and ‘What sort of woman freely converts to a religion do good to parents, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, which supports the oppression, torment and murder the near neighbor, the neighbor further away, the of thousands of Christians, homosexuals and spirited companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom women, worldwide, every year? The sort of woman your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like who writes love letters to a serial killer, I reckon’, wrote those who are self-deluding and boastful.} (An-Nisa’ 4: a columnist in one of the more middle of the road UK 36) tabloids.

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REVERT DIARIES Compiled by Fatima Togbe came back to his religion and found his faith again.

STORY #1 He started to read the Quran and pray, and everything I will shortly give you an introduction of why I became like that.

Muslim and how it just came about really.

He started to read to me stories about the prophets, About a year ago, my fiancĂŠe came back to his religion. peace be upon them, and also gave me a web site When we first met he was Muslim, but he was not a where I could read the Quran in English, and next to practicing Muslim. And this time last year he actually it was the Arabic translation.

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The Quran actually wasn’t what I expected. The way it was written was really beautiful, and it seems to me that every question you had it was answered there. No matter what question it was or anything, there was an answer in the Quran at some point in it.

So the more I started to read about it, the more I wanted to learn about Islam, its principles and what it was like to be a Muslim in general, so I started to get books out and read them, and I also started to look at web sites on the Internet about Muslim converts and just anything that I could find really.

So it carried on for a few months, me researching and finding everything that I could, and in November of last year I actually said my Shahadah. I didn’t say it with anybody present, I said it to myself, and I did all the purifications and everything. So since then, it’s just been amazing. I don’t actually live in a Muslim community, so it’s a bit difficult for me to interact with Muslims personally.

I got a book out a few months ago, it was called The Bible, The Quran and Science, and that book is so great. It’s by an author called Maurice Baucaille, and he basically tells you all the contradictions of what the Bible says, between the Old and the New Testament, and how it has changed through the years. And then he also goes on to say that the Quran is in modern knowledge it can’t be explained, and therefore it must be the word of God, because things that happened hundreds and hundreds of years ago cannot be explained today, how they knew it sort of thing, and it’s just a great book, you should check it out it’s really good.

So that’s in a nutshell, it took a few months for me to get there, but I did.

So brothers and sisters, you’ve got a new one to add to the family.

STORY #2

I was brought up in Yorkshire, UK. I’m the eldest daughter of three.

I was not brought up in a religious household. It was not even a nominally religious household, if I am honest. My father was always extremely and violently anti-faith, no matter which faith, and no 28

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matter which way it manifested itself.

DIALOGUE WITH MUSLIMS When I was a girl of about 12, I discovered “religion”.

I had a profound belief in God, but only really being I had made friends with some Muslim neighbors who exposed to “mainstream” Christianity, that’s all I really were lovely people. I resolved to ask them about the understood... faith. I thought “It’s better I should ask them, and get the information directly.”

I sincerely wanted to follow God, so I began going to church. My father was furious that I had become I asked my Muslim neighbors: “Please, would you religious, and beat me up for wanting to attend church. tell me… What do Muslims believe? What does the Quran say?”

My mother then suffered a brain hemorrhage at the young age of 37. She lingered, in the hospital, We sat together, in their cozy, welcoming home, paralyzed, and unable to speak, for two and a half and started a dialogue. Little did I know that, later, I years before she died. would find myself embracing the faith of Islam… The intent of my initial inquiry was an interest in gaining My mother’s traumatic illness was just another blow to knowledge of Islam, to better understand what my my father, and only served to reinforce his belief that Muslim friends believed.

God did not exist saying: “There’s no God of love! If there were a Loving God, as you believe, your mother Within the discussions, they asked me, “What do you would not have suffered so!” It wasn’t an easy time, at believe?” all, for us to see my mother so ill. However, I believe that, because God is a merciful God, my mother’s I replied “I believe that there is only one God, and that suffering was cut short. It was only two-and-a-half only He is worthy of worship. I believe it is He who years. She could have lingered for decades. It seemed created us.” like forever, in human terms, but to God, the eternal, it was as a twinkling of an eye.

“I believe that there will be a Day of Judgment, where we will stand before Him, and answer to Him for our Despite my father’s objections, I continued to attend deeds and our misdeeds.” church till thirty-plus years. However, despite my longing to follow God, I felt something was still “I believe He sent the Prophets, and the Holy missing. The pieces of the jigsaw were not quite fitting Scriptures, and that He created the angels.” together properly, so to speak. Things did not totally make sense, and it troubled me.

“Well!” Said my friends, beaming: “That is Islam!”

The church’s preacher, in his sermons, kept decrying Islam, saying “Oh, Islam is evil! It’s a false religion!

God is nothing but an idol, a moon god!”

As the dialogue continued, my friends said: “Do you realize, the simplicity of your beliefs is more in alignment with Islam?”

He asserted that Allah of the Muslim was not Sadly, my husband was not happy about my interest in concerned with mankind… “He (Allah) does not love Islam, and, unfortunately, we divorced. humankind. The Muslim is terrified, and makes his five daily prayers out of sheer fear! ” I had thought and thought, about the history of the monotheistic faiths, (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) I puzzled over these statements, for the longest time. when listening to the minister at church, who had I thought “how can this be so? How can God, who been declaring that Islam was false. created us, who wrote for us the time of our first breath, and the time of our last, not love humankind? How I thought to myself, How can it be that Islam is false can He be like the images we have of the Greek gods, when the Torah, and the Gospels all state quite clearly, capricious, petulant, ready to throw lightning-bolt that Abraham (peace be upon him) was a friend of javelins down at the puny humans, for entertainment?” God… he was the first to recognize that in an age of

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idol worship, that God was One - The unique, creator faith) officially, in front of the NMP sisters. I spoke God, the only God. the words How could Abraham have taken one son to his knee, “Ash-shadu ana la illah ilallah, wa ashadu ana and taught him Monotheism, truth, faith… and the Muhammadun rasool-Allah!” (I testify that there is no other son polytheism, falsehood, disbelief?

God but Allah, and that Muhammad is His Prophet.)

Both sons would have been taught “Tawhid” (monotheism) at their father’s knee. Abraham was a Prophet of God, and he is described in the Torah and the Gospels as being “A friend of God”.

I thought about Jesus (peace be upon him) and how he would have been brought up as a practicing, observant Jew, for whom his daily prayers would have started “Shema, Yisrael!” “Hear, O Israel! The Lord thy God is one!” (New International Version, Mark 12: 29 ) His faith, like Islam, quite clearly forbade the sin of associating others with God, the Almighty. Jesus would have strongly refuted the idea of God having associates: He was the Lord, the one who begets not, nor is begotten, the one who has no need of wives or children.

I discussed with my neighbors the concept of the “fear” of God, and understood from our discussions that the Islamic “fear of Allah” is the same as the Christian concept of “Fear the Lord: the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”. (New International Version, Psalm 111:10)

I WAS FINALLY A MUSLIM! It’s not been 100% plain sailing, having embraced Islam. I have been on the receiving end of some very nasty and spiteful comments about my conversion.

I have been told “You have betrayed your white British race, and your religion, by becoming a Muslim!” “You converted because your husband demanded you do so!”

I also chose to wear Hijab, myself. No one demanded it of me. It was my choice to put it on, to respect myself, and to fear God. I have struggled with my health, too. I am an insulindependent diabetic, and a couple of years ago, I collapsed with a bad heart.

I was taken into hospital, as an emergency, where I was diagnosed with a condition called ‘Heart Block’.

It meant that my heart was not beating regularly enough, or often enough to keep the oxygen going to my brain, and I was passing out.

Fear is being a reverent-awe of God, a loving respect, I was told by the doctors that I would need pacemaker and a desire to please Him, rather than the cowering, surgery to save my life. I had the surgery a few days craven terror, as it had been represented to me. later. The surgeons who operated on me were Muslim, and I know that God guided the surgeons’ hands.

NEW MUSLIM PROJECT God got me through this, and, Subhanallah, He The more I learned, the more I desired to learn. The preserved my life. I’m still here, still breathing, and Jigsaw pieces began to fall into place. still able to praise Him. As well as my discussions with the friends, I started going along to the local New Muslim Project (NMP), where I was befriended by a group of beautiful revert sisters, who were also hungry for the knowledge of Islam.

I started living “Islamically”, including wearing the Hijab, toward the end of 2007.

In August 2008, I made my Shahadah (testimony of

I am grateful to God that He gave me an inquiring mind, and that it was His will that I would seek the truth about Him. I’m thankful to Him that I learnt about Islam, and that I embraced Islam as my religion.

I pray that He will look kindly on my deeds, and forgive my wrongdoings, and I earnestly pray that He will be merciful, and save me from the Hellfire on the Day of Judgment.

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REVERT ISSUES AT WORK & SCHOOL

be pressured to go back to your old ways and to fit in with the outside world but be strong and ask God to make things easier for you.

P

I converted in November 2010 whilst I was working at a fashion retail store in the local shopping centre. I never told anyone whilst I was working there, I did not wear hijab because I was worried about what my colleagues would say but I wore more modest clothes which affected the way I was treated at work as it didn’t fit in with the fashion industry. They offered me a permanent job in February but I decided to escape that environment, I turned it down and began a fresh start as a Muslimah who covered with hijab.

By Diva Allot

eer pressure is something that affects everybody at some point throughout their lives, but is mostly predominant in teenagers and young adults.

What can make peer pressure even more difficult to handle is when a person is new to Islam.

Their life is changing so much and they must adapt to fit within the boundaries of Islam without appearing anti-social with peers.

My advice to all those contemplating whether they should reveal their recent conversion or keep it a secret, I would always advise an individual to be courageous and to out their religion.

REVERTS & CHALLENGES FROM PEERS - Holding On to Who You Are - Standing Strong in a Mad World - Reverts and Their Muslim Communities - A Well-Balanced Life After Conversion - Reverts’ Journey After Shahadah (Folder) Be proud of what you are and the decision you made. Write a list of all the pros and cons of either keeping it a secret or being open about it.

And I will guarantee that every time it is always the better option to be open about it so that you can practice Islam in college or the workplace to the best of your ability.

I will not lie to you, of course you are going to

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The following you are going to read are experiences I have had as a young Muslim both in the workplace and at college and I hope they will help you make your decision and guide you along your journey as a new Muslim.

MY EARLY DAYS AS A MUSLIM

My advice to people suffering from peer pressure in the work place is to be strong and not run away, it is wrong for companies to discriminate against you because of the way you look or your religion. Don’t feel pressured into fitting in or looking a certain way, what I find helpful now is to remember God and what He has ordained us to do, and that He is the All Wise and the All Knowing and He does not try to make this life hard for us but to protect us, we should strive for the Hereafter not pleasing those in this life.

After leaving my job I felt courageous enough to declare my Islam.

AT COLLEGE she said “Look! Diva was normal last week and is abnormal this week” I’m also a college student and after declaring my Islam naturally the peer pressure got worse as all of my friends were non Muslims and they wanted me to be “the old me” again. A significant memory I have of first wearing my scarf was when I walked into my psychology

HAYATI lesson late because I was trying to make my scarf go on right. As I walked in the teacher was doing a lesson on abnormality, and used me as an example, she said “Look! Diva was normal last week and is abnormal this week,” suggesting that because I wore a scarf it didn’t make me normal. This made me feel pressured to fit in with my environment and what people thought of me.

When a young Muslim encounters any pressure, it’s very important not to fall at the first hurdle and to give up in order to make other people happy. You have to think of yourself, what you want and what you believe in. I started to gradually change my activities and started going to the prayer room at lunch to read books and meet other Muslims. Slowly, I made new friends and started to take part in different social activities like study circles, Arabic classes and cinema trips. I didn’t completely cut ties with my old friends, I just made it clear to them that I wasn’t able to indulge in most of the activities I used to and after having being invited a couple of times and politely declining they got the message.

I will be the first to say that it isn’t easy to completely change your lifestyle without upsetting anyone but my key advice is to decline any offers that go against Islam and perhaps suggest something else such as a cinema trip or a shopping trip. Always stick to your guns and don’t change your mind because this will show others you are weak. Be strong and don’t one week say “yes” to going to the pub or a nightclub then another week say “no” because this can be confusing to others.

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NEW JOB IN HIJAB speak to your colleagues and mangers personally and explain Islam Last year I got a new job as a revert Muslim who covered in a local supermarket. If anything I thought this would have less pressure in it than the fashion industry. Although it wasn’t the same kind of pressure it still affected me.

I received lots of nasty comments from managers and customers. I would be asked why I wear that rubbish on my head. People would say “are you a Pakistani now then?” “You’re boring because you don’t drink” or “Muslims are ignorant.”

Mangers would often say you can’t wear that scarf at work, get a different color, ... nothing was ever good enough for them.

What made it worse was the long shifts as I often needed to take breaks to make Salah (prayer).

People would mock me saying “make a prayer for me while you’re there”, “you don’t need to pray you’re just making it up”. I had to prove my prayers to my manager by bringing a time table in so she knew I wasn’t lying. This put me under a lot of pressure by other colleagues because they were kicking up a fuss saying that “if she can pray, I can break to smoke.” It made going to work very difficult.

My advice to Muslims in a similar situation is to speak to your colleagues and mangers personally and explain Islam and that it is obligatory to pray despite what they may think. Finally if they are still putting you under pressure explain the law to them on equality in the work place.

Whatever you do, don’t run away from the I am still studying at the moment and there is only situation because you have as much right to be me and three other Muslims on the course out of there as anyone else. thirty, most days at lunch are spent discussing the events of the weekend, how drunk people Finally, I hope these anecdotes have helped and were and whose boyfriend is whose. Sometimes may God make your journey in this life as easy it’s difficult feeling left out because we don’t as possible. drink wine, don’t have boyfriends and don’t go nightclubbing. When the conversation takes this When you feel all alone remember that God is direction I tend the venture to the prayer room or always close to you. try and strike up a conversation with somebody else about something I can join in.

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STOP CALLING ME A

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By Idris Tawfiq

uslims believe that Islam has existed since the beginning of time and that it is the natural religion of mankind. Its message is for all people.

All people born into this world are born with the knowledge deep within them that there is a God, one God, who speaks to His Creation.

Muslims similarly believe that it is the actions of a person’s parents, and of the society and culture around them, which make him or her Christian or Hindu or whatever, by going through ceremonies to make them part of those religions. Left to their own devices, people would naturally believe in one God. (Muslim, 6423)

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This is why, as Muslims, we don’t talk of people “converting to Islam”. According to Islam, when a person freely chooses to accept Islam he or she is coming home, returning to that original state in which he was born. You can’t convert to something you originally were.

NEW MUSLIMS OR REVERTS/CONVERTS? The problem comes, then, in deciding what to call these people who accept Islam later in life. If we are not to call them “converts”, what are we to call them?

Unfortunately, in rightly rejecting the word “convert”, many Muslims have settled for using another word which is quite unsuitable and, to many who have

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without question. As they grow in the knowledge and practice of their faith they will be able to contribute more and more, but right from the start they have a contribution to make and it calls for wisdom from the community’s leaders to ease them gently into the life of being a Muslim and maybe find roles for them to play suitable to the gifts and talents they possess.

In the English language, we usually use the word “revert” to mean taking a step backwards in life.

People can revert to a life of crime, for example, or they can revert to smoking. In English usage, we don’t usually revert to something good. It has a very negative connotation. So how can we possibly refer to those who embrace Islam with their hearts and minds New Muslims are also entitled to all the support they as “reverts?” need for them to grow as Muslims. God Almighty has given these new brothers and sisters to us and it is The one who first coined this term to refer to New our duty to help and care for them, like tender young Muslims was probably not familiar with English as plants, as their faith becomes stronger. a first language. The idea is correct, that people are returning to Islam, but the word is not – and it can do We all make mistakes from time to time. New Muslims more harm than good. are often terrified of doing something wrong in front of their new brothers and sisters and it is terrible for As Muslims, we need to realize that New Muslims (my them when a member of the community points out term) are not a problem. They are not some inadequate their mistake in front of others. addition to the Muslim Ummah who will one day get to learn all there is to know about Islam and until then Not performing wudu (the ablution before prayer) we all just have to put up with their shortcomings and properly or perhaps entering the mosque with our left lack of knowledge. No! God Almighty calls whom He foot rather than our right are things we get to learn Wills to Islam. We don’t. And we don’t get to choose about with time. Just as babies can’t be expected to who they are. know everything at birth, neither can New Muslims be expected to know everything about Islam right First of all, we need to realize and accept that they are from the start. They need to be corrected in a very full Muslims. They are one hundred per cent Muslim, gentle way, away from the gaze of others so that it not people in the process of becoming Muslim. By doesn’t cause embarrassment. taking Shahadah with full knowledge and a free will a person becomes a Muslim, not a half Muslim or a not And those new to Islam are surely entitled to be quite Muslim yet. taught properly right from the beginning. One of the reasons many new to Islam fall away from their new There are many who accept Islam and declare Shahadah faith is that they find the wrong Muslim companions after many years of questioning and reading. Many of or even no companions at all and so have no one to them know far more about Islam than some Muslims teach them. who have been Muslim all their lives.

The community needs to ensure that someone is There are also many new to Islam who very quickly responsible for each one who accepts Islam. It isn’t become involved in the work of Dawah, telling others enough, after four weeks, asking: “where is the brother what Islam is really like. Their stories of coming to who accepted Islam one month ago?” It is hardly any Islam are often the very catalyst for others also to surprise that no one has seen him if no one showed become Muslims. Their commitment and passion are any interest in him during those four weeks. an inspiration and, indeed, often show up the rather lukewarm practice of many who have been Muslim The best system, of course, would be for the Muslim since birth. community to adopt a mentoring program, where one person in particular is responsible for one new NEW MUSLIMS’ RIGHTS Muslim in particular. This might just be asking how she or he is from time to time or it might involve New Muslims have rights. They have the right first of walking with them to the mosque or even having all to be accepted fully into the Muslim community sessions to discuss the practice of Islam.

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Islam is a faith of brothers and sisters. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) didn’t just wake up one day and decide it would be nice to call each other brothers and sisters. We do this in Islam because that is what we are. We really are brothers and sisters to one another. And brothers and sisters are committed to help each other.

So, instead of being concerned to point out that our brothers and sisters in Islam are new to Islam and instead of pointing out that they still have much to learn, we should try, instead, to make them feel welcome and as part of the community as any other member.

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If we need to use a special term at all, why not talk about “New Muslims?” My own preference is to talk about those who have embraced Islam. It might take a couple of seconds longer to say, but it is a much friendlier term and it certainly shows that these brothers and sisters are welcome.

Whatever term we do use, let us stop talking about reverts and, instead, let us help those new to Islam to see how really beautiful, gentle and sweet Islam really is and how blessed they are from all the people in the world to have been called By God Almighty to be Muslims.

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two countries were two polar opposites when it came to their tolerance of Islam: France (not so much) and Switzerland (much). Therefore, it was her move from France to Switzerland that her curiosity bloomed into something more than just a wonder. Adriana began to research about Islam while studying in Switzerland and compared it to her own religion, Catholicism. She found herself growing more and more apart from her birth religion and moving toward Islam. I had an interview with Adriana, a revert and professional Daee (informer of Islam), who faced the negativity of her own family as a result, but had gained the understanding that Allah is always there.

R: Assalam alikom.

A: Walaikumassalam R. When did you first know about Islam, who or what was your first contact with Islam?

CHRISTIAN PATHWAY TO ISLAM

A. As Mexican (USA neighbor) we get only bad news about the Islam religion and the Muslim people on the media so everything I thought I knew about Islam was bad, I went to Paris to study French and over there, the sense of scare about Muslim people was even bigger. Years later I traveled to Switzerland for a Master in Translation, and I was very surprised that at the University, they had Arabic classes… I thought, ‘If the Islam Religion is that bad, why in Switzerland (a so freakishly controlled country) are they allowing Muslims to live there plus offering their language at the Universities?’

That was the beginning of my numberless questions…

By Rumki Chowdhury

I started reading about Islam on the net, talking to Muslims, searching and searching more and more, and every time I found a huge number of similarities Islam, though portrayed badly in the media, has between the Islamic and Christian faiths, the religion planted a seed for a growing curiosity among people that I was practicing since childhood. worldwide, thus blooming into the clarification of misconceptions. By misconceptions, one means, the R. When was the first time you realized understanding of what is true Islam according to the you wanted to become a Muslim?

Qur’an and Hadiths as opposed to word of mouth, often stimulated by the media. Growing up in a traditional A. After a lot of searching, reading and talking to Catholic family in Mexico, Adriana Valadez knew the Muslims, I discovered that the Christian and Muslim Islam she read, heard and watched about in the news. religions are very similar, but the Christians have lost The result was, not surprisingly, a bad impression. so many of their own traditions. I’m saying this because As she grew older and studied at a University in both I come from a very religious family and we used to France and Switzerland, Adriana noticed that these fast (half a day), but not anymore; also, my mum used HAYATIMAGAZINE.COM

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to cover her hair when she went to the church, but not anymore; even my grandma always covered her hair to pray “el Rosario” at 5pm; the messe (mass or gathering) was given with the priest with his back to the people, but not anymore and so on.... But my generation, the “new generation” stopped practicing a lot of traditions, one of the main reasons is that no one is there to say anything if we go according to the religion or not.

On the other hand, I noticed that the Muslim are the religious people who are very faithful to their traditions and treat it as their duty. Muslims also encourage others to be good practicing. That´s why I fell in love of Islam, I feel like I´m back on track with my traditions.

R. Tell me a little bit about your background?

doing Dawah is important because I want the people to discover, by themselves, what are the true teachings of the Islam and not base their thoughts only on what the media says. If someone reverts, it is important to support him or her because they might face problems after becoming Muslims like I had faced with my family.

R. What is one of the most important you have learned about Islam?

A. The most important thing that I´ve learned about Islam is about the Darkness Age. I didn´t know that the Muslims were so active at that time and so powerful! They had a lot of influence on the European Renaissance. It was due to the hard work of the Muslim scholars of the House of Wisdom in Bagdad.

R. What does the word ISLAM mean to you? What do you believe makes a good A. I grew up in a very traditional Catholic family in MUSLIM? Guadalajara, Mexico. I’m living in London where I found the freedom to learn and practice my religion, A. Islam for me means traditions, respect for others, alhamdulillah. brotherhood, sisterhood, but the most importantly...

Allah. Islam is to believe that we are not alone at any R. How did you family react when time or anywhere. Every good deed will be rewarded they found out you wanted to become and every bad act, even a bad intentions, will have a Muslim? consequences.

A. When I told to my parents that I’m Muslim, it was like an atomic bomb dropped in the middle of my parents’ house! My dad was very, very upset with me and my mum was more confused than anything else.

My brother and sister were also upset.

R. You are working in the Dawah sector. Can you describe what it is like to do Dawah? What do you think makes a good Daée?

A. Because of all the negative influence I had on me about Islam, in the past, I was really against the Muslims. That was because without having a real and clear information about what Islam really is about.

Now, working and doing Dawah (showing to the people what Islam is), has made it easy for me to talk to people who are against Islam, simply because… I was one of them! To do Dawah (share the beauties of Islam with other people) is the most grateful thing, because you open the door of Islam to someone, who maybe will revert one day. Of course, Allah decides to whom He will open the Door of Islam to. For me, 54

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It is thanks to Muslims like Adriana that inspire, helping us to rediscover our faith and redeem our hearts. We grow to appreciate Islam and understand that we are never alone even when the people closest to us shun us away for there will always be Allah, waiting for us to turn to Him. Every little act from not littering on the streets to helping an old woman cross the street, is not only accounted for in Islam, but also influences the impression one has on a Muslim person, a representative of Islam. Adriana Valadez works for WAMY.CO.UK and helps clear up misconceptions by breaking down the wall of communication that media has put up against the true Islam.

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HIJAB CHALLENGES FOR REVERTS

By Diva Allott

As a revert, I can appreciate and understand the feelings a new Muslim may experience when being faced with the hijab (Muslim dress code).

When a young woman reverts to Islam and makes the decision to say the shahadah (declaration of Faith) then there are a number of things that she must do as a Muslim woman.

One of these things is to work on her hijab.

God says in the Quran: And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display they beauty or their ornaments except what ordinarily must appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers, their brothers sons or their sisters sons, or their women or the servant whom their right hand possesses or male servants free of physical needs or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and they should not strike their feet to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.

And O you Believers turn you all together towards Allah so that you may attain Bliss. (An-Nur 24: 31) This verse of the Quran had been made so simple to understand by God it lays out the rules of hijab and who can see you Islamically without wearing it.

This verse also highlights how the hijab should be worn, covering your bosoms. It also highlights that hijab is a way of life and not just about covering ones hair, it is about how women behave around others; they should not 56

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strike their feet to draw attention to their ornaments.

help you come to terms with the physical appearance of hijab and what feels best for you. There are some Personally, I feel that hijab is a very important part of websites or images on the Internet with different hiIslam and of being a Muslim. However, as a revert, jab styles which you may find useful.

I can understand how difficult and overwhelming a scarf can be. If you are a new Muslim or are think- I think that you must be realistic when wearing hijab ing of becoming a new Muslim then understand that and, unfortunately, prepare yourself for some not so the hijab is compulsory, but do not rush yourself into nice comments. I only say this to prepare you and not wearing it as I feel from my experience to wear the to put you off. The first time I received negative comhijab you must understand why you have to wear it. ments I didn’t know how to take it, and I was stunned that an individual could be so offensive. The best way A MILLION POUNDS! to deal with negative comments is to ignore them and rise about and say “God, protect me from Satan the When she said this to me I understood why it was cursed one”, and this will calm your anger inshallah. important to cover with hijab Be humble and pious in these times.

When I became Muslim, a very close friend of mine who was with me when I took my shahadah explained the hijab in a no nonsense way. She said if you had a million pounds would you leave it out for everyone to see and to take some whenever they wanted to? I replied no.

She then asked why would you protect money more than you are willing to protect yourself? The hijab protects you from people taking little pieces of you as and when they please. When she said this to me I understood why it was important to cover with hijab.

As my faith grew, I became more confident on wearing hijab.

As a revert, I can appreciate that many new Muslim sisters don’t wear hijab at first because of their circumstances. This is what happened in my case; I converted in November 2010 and kept my conversion a secret from my family which made wearing hijab very difficult. I understood that I needed to put God first, so I compromised to the best of my abilities. I used to leave the house without hijab and then run around the corner and put it on, the situation was not ideal, but it was what suited me at the time.

I would not advise anyone to lie about their conversion or hide it from their family, as this can make practicing Islam difficult. I think that when putting hijab on you must be confident in yourself to know that you have made the right decision and that inshallah Allah will reward you for taking that big step.

HIJAB AT WORK Hijab at the workplace can be another obstacle that a sister must overcome. I worked in a fashion store at the time of my conversion and I didn’t wear the hijab at first. I was always very scared of what others would think and how they would react to my conversion, I have always gone through life people pleasing.

I started dropping hints to my colleagues asking them what they thought of hijab and Muslim women, and they said it looked ugly and they were forced to wear it by the husbands. This made me angry that they could make such a judgment without knowing a person. This made me feel even more anxious about coming into work with my hijab. Since I worked in a fashion store there was a certain dress code to follow which often consisted of dresses and skirts. I immediately changed how I dressed for work as soon as I took my shahadah opting for trousers and long sleeve tops. This didn’t go down well with managers and supervisors because they claimed I didn’t fit in or look the part.

I had been Muslim three months and I wore my scarf outside of work and then took it off for work out of fear of what they would say. I realize now that this was wrong, but it was how I coped with things at the time. After being Muslim for three months, they offered me a permanent job at the store. Although I loved working there and helping people choose clothes, I wanted a fresh start as Diva the Muslimah with hijab.

To help relieve any anxieties you may have about hijab, I think that trying to put it on different ways can Another reason why I wore hijab is to be recognized HAYATIMAGAZINE.COM

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as a Muslim, as I was proud of my religion.

I decided to refuse the offer and I left. I handed out my CV again to more fashion stores which previously landed me 7 job interviews. The same CV with hijab landed me none. Although it is against the law to discriminate, people will still have their prejudices about Muslims. I advise you to persist and stand up for your rights as women to be treated equally. I eventually got a job in my local supermarket which helps me and my husband get by; it’s nice really, we both work part time together as we both study at college and university the rest of the time.

Another reason why I wore hijab is to be recognized as a Muslim, as I was proud of my religion. As soon as I wore my hijab, sisters who were Muslims but kept it secret also became public about their conversion and often come to me for help or questions about Islam. Hijab also made it easier for me to give Dawah as people recognized the struggle I had been through to become Muslim and I was living proof Alhamdulillah that your family members aren’t necessarily going to disown you, they will learn to accept the new you.

I wore hijab fully when I told my family, which was three months after my shahadah. Gradually as I grew in faith, my dress sense changed every day from leggings to jeans to skirts to maxi dresses, and now, almost two years later, the abayah, Alhamdulillah.

My advice to any Muslim struggling with hijab is to take a day at a time and remember that it is between you and God Almighty, and He is the All-Wise and the All-Knowing.

He knows what is in your heart and your deepest darkest secrets, He knows your intentions, so inshallah make intention to wear the hijab and may Allah make it easy for you. Ameen.

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Ndaa Hassan’s

Fashion Insight

LIST Modest Street Fashion

For the October issue of Hayati Magazine, I wrote about how #modestfashion has been a very hot topic in the fashion industry and on the runway. Not only is modest fashion of high interest to mainstream designers, but modest fashion has also grown to become one of the major topics of discussion for fashion blogger, instagramers, and Muslim fashionistas all over the world.

Someone who’s taking the initiative to document this phenomenon is photographer, videographer and creative engineer, Langston Hues. Hues has embarked on a journey to document the #modeststreetfashion trend all over the world. Chicago, New York, Detroit, London, Kuala Lampur, and Kuwait are but a few major sites Hues has been spotted on or is planning on being in the upcoming months.

As Hues mentioned to me, this project is not limited to Muslims but just so happens to be dominated by a particular group all of the Muslim faith. With over 1,413 Facebook fans, #modeststreetfashion has been gaining a lot of attention from fashion bloggers all over the world. Hues knew that it was going to be a big hit but he did not think it was going to be this massive. “It’s been received MUCH larger than expected,” he explained.

I asked Hues about his photography and what makes it stand out. He explained to me that he is very particular about looking at angles and texture. In fact, most of his photos can be easily identified among other photographer’s because of his particular texture selection The release date for this much awaited book has not yet been announced but is set to be completed sometime around April and will end the journey in Kuwait and Dubai, which are also two major cities with prominent fashion industries.

He left me with a few wise words “It is better to be a participant now than a viewer later”. So ladies, if this is His inspiration was seeing this boom in the modest something you’d be interested in being a part of, make street fashion world. His ultimate goal is to document sure to reach out to Langston Hues to see when he’s a book along with short video clips of his visits to coming to your city. these beautiful cities.

WHERE TO FIND LANGSTON HUES: In all of his short movies, Hues asks the participants what they think is the current state of modest fashion. Twitter | @LangstonHues So I decided to ask him that same exact question. He Instagram | @LangstonHues Facebook | LangstonHuesOfficial replied: “It is very exciting. It’s a community being built on MODEST STREET FASHION: a common ground along with supportive enthusiasts and engaging fans. This has sparked conversation www.modeststreetfashion.com between the fashion bloggers and their fans on modeststreetfashion@gmail.com Facebook, Instagram and many more social media Facebook | ModestStreetFashion outlets” When asked to describe this phenomenon in one word, he explained it as exhilarating.

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REVERT LIVING IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY

By Sahar El-Nadi

M

ost of us have heard this story: that someone embraced Islam in a nonMuslim country and excitedly started preparing to move to live in a Muslim society, only to be severely disappointed and wishing to return back to where he or she came from.

actually Muslims can learn, grow, and benefit their communities wherever they are in the world.

That’s actually one of the beautiful aspects of Islam that it’s not just tolerant to diversity, it’s actually built on it, and it’s strong enough to What’s worse, we also see Muslims responding adapt to -and to absorb- all kinds of cultures, apologetically that the new Muslim was right, rather than take cultural identity away from because life in Muslim countries is indeed a people and turn them into clones. disappointment by modern, civilized standards.

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF NEW Let’s look at this unfortunate situation from MUSLIMS: many different angles: First of all, please remember that you became THE RESPONSIBILITY OF MUSLIMS a Muslim for who you are now, you’re not IN THE WEST: required to become someone different to become a Muslim. Islam will not make you a Middle It’s very important that Imams and the Muslim Eastern or an Asian. It is designed to make you communities give realistic expectations to a better person, who is comfortable in your own prospect and new Muslims about life as a Muslim skin, race, nationality and gender. anywhere in the world. In their excitement to gain a new convert, sometimes people raise the Islam is not a magic spell that changes your bar too high in how life will suddenly become circumstances either, it’s a personal development perfect as soon as someone pronounced their program that you need to actively adopt and “Shahadah” or declaration of faith. practice to be able to change your circumstances yourself; more like a rigorous -but enjoyable Without knowing it, they have just mislead and very effective- gym routine. someone into unrealistic expectations and put the focus on the expected “rewards” of becoming Nothing will change if you don’t work hard at it Muslim, rather than the long –and enjoyable- by constantly reading, learning, contemplating, journey of learning, self-discovery and personal practicing, and seeking good company to growth. support you on your journey. Those don’t have to be scholars or “elders,” but rather friendly Additionally, a lot of emphasis is placed on and warm people who will love you for who you “migration” to the lands of Islam, to the extent are and accept that you’re only human; that you that a prospect Muslim starts believing it’s have your doubts, need to find your own answers mandatory as part of becoming Muslim, when in your own good time, and that you will make

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mistakes, lots of mistakes actually, but that this a solution to escape the place and responsibility is the only way you can learn and understand in of making a difference. order to be able to apply to your daily life.

So, let’s say you’re shocked about living In short, you need an effective support system in standards or people’s behaviors in a certain your community who will help you and accept community. If you can identify something as you rather than burden you and rush you. “bad’ or “wrong” then you obviously know what’s good and right, and so if you neglect Also, please form your mental image about your responsibility to at least educate about it -if Muslim countries from updated, modern not actually work hard to change it- then you’re reading, online resources, native citizens of not fulfilling your role as Muslim on this earth, those countries and possibly short trips before which is making this a better world for yourself you decide to move there. and others.

It’s important to know that those who immigrated to the West decades ago and want to preserve their native cultures, almost always romanticize reality by eliminating all the negatives and adding a silver lining to all their memories from back home.

This causes even their own children to get a culture shock when they travel to the motherland and find it totally different from what mum and dad have been telling them all those years. So, if some of your friends fall into this category, then please don’t take all their stories at face value, a reality check is advised.

Islamic values are that we should love for others what we love for ourselves, and that helping others is the shortest way to Paradise, and that those who don’t care for the affairs of Muslims are not considered part of the community.

Consequently, our main concern should not be where to place the blame, but rather how we can help.

If and when life in a place becomes unbearable after sincere efforts to improve the surrounding environment, then people have the right to abandon it for a better place, but only after trying to make a difference because they recognize that Needless to say, don’t assume that all two billion this is the essence of being Muslims.

Muslims everywhere in the world are copies of the ideal first followers of Islam at the Prophet’s time.

Remember that we’re all only human; no one is perfect or should even try to be, rather, we should all accept each other’s human weaknesses and help each other improve and become better humans.

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THE RESPONSIBILITY OF MUSLIMS EVERYWHERE:

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Hardships, afflictions and problems are the real test to your strength of faith and belief in the message you chose to follow, in application, not just words. True Muslims do not only adapt and adjust to circumstances, but also try to improve them for themselves and other Muslims; it’s not

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THEORY, Forta pleated silk-georgette blouse, $235; VALENTINO bracelet, MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA ring, PAUL & JOE pants, LANVIN boots, ALEXANDER WANG bag

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GUCCI, Washed silk-twill wide-leg pants, $1,250; VALENTINO top, EQUIPMENT top, MULBERRY bracelet, CHLOÉ ring and bag, AURÉLIE BIDERMANN ring, AQUAZZURA shoes

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MY DAUGHTER IS A MUSLIM Nele Godts grew up with her two brothers in a typical Belgian family. Her parents gave their children all the possibilities to develop their personalities. At the age of 17, Nele converted to Islam and changed her name to Nawal. Now, nine years later, Nawal is married to an Egyptian and teaches Qur’an to her neighbors. This is an interview with Tine and her daughter Nele, or Nawal, to others.

By Eva Vergaelen MOTHER TINE

When Nele was 17, she converted to Islam.

For me, it all happened all of a sudden. I “My daughter has two names: Nele, the did not realize that she was interested in name chosen by me and her father, and Islam, so it came a bit as a shock. It would Nawal, the name chosen by herself when have been easier for me if I would have she entered Islam. Her husband and been more involved, so as to share with friends call her Nawal, which means ‘gift.’ her in her new way of life.

For me she is and remains my Nele. And yes, she is a true gift.

The first time we went out together while 76

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she was wearing a veil, I did not feel at ease. People were staring at her. Actually, the problems that we faced in our relation were mainly stirred by external factors.

I often play the role of mediator when friends or family criticizes my daughter’s religious choice. Although I don’t entirely understand her choice, I respect it and defend her rights. I don’t see her in the first place as a Muslim, but as a young woman with a beautiful heart.

from our society, especially because she wears ‘non-Western’ clothes and a veil, which are associated with foreigners.

When she got married to an Egyptian and moved to Cairo, it felt in a way that she was going ‘home,’ to a place where she is considered to be part of. It is amazing the way their life is centered around religion.

Our Western lifestyle is centered around time; we live according to our watch.

Communicating in respect is the key for people of different cultures or religions to living together. Nele does not want to be near people who drink alcohol; however, alcohol in our culture is widely used. No one questions the fact that a birthday dinner goes with a bottle of wine.

After a long process of seeking the true message of God, I read the story of Prophet Salih. Prophet Salih was sent by God to the people of Thamud [1]. They asked him to prove the existence of God. God sent a pregnant camel, made of rocks, and brought it to life.

Nele does not visit her relatives during festivities, because she knows that alcohol will be served. This is sometimes difficult for others to understand. I respect this, but many others don’t. They start focusing on the things that differentiate us instead of on those that bring us together. As such, social isolation is developed and communication fades away.

While reading this story, I wondered to myself what proof I needed to believe in God. Was I really just seeking excuses not to believe in Him? I opened my heart and was blessed with His love.

Nele was an emancipated and critical What bothers me is that sometimes there girl. Entering Islam seemed for me a are certain Islamic practices, like gender contradicting choice. However, if I look division and wearing a veil. My generation beneath her veil and long clothes, she still had to fight for independence against the is my strong girl and I am proud of her. suppressing influence of the church. We Yes, my Nele is called Nawal, and yes, she symbolized our struggle through ‘liberal’ is Muslim, but she will always remain my clothes and gender-mixed activities. daughter whose personal development I support.”

Christian traditions such as fasting, praying, or meditating belonged to the DAUGHTER NELE past. Now, I am confronted again with such religious rules, which is not easy. However, “I was merely 17 when I woke up one I admire the way Nele lives her religion. morning and asked myself whether I It really is a way of living, not just some believed in God and whether Muhammad practices. In our hectic lifestyle, we should was His Prophet and Messenger. I reconsider the beauty of meditation - be it answered ‘yes,’ got up out of bed, and went religiously inspired or otherwise. to the mosque in Brussels.

I did not have to change my name, but I felt that I was in need of a new identity.

My new name was a symbol of a new start.

I changed as a person, not in my way of I was worried that Nele would be isolated dealing with others, but of looking at life. I HAYATIMAGAZINE.COM

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have different identities, such as daughter, wife, friend, and sister. I feel home within all these identities.

with theirs. Although we don’t always understand each other’s choices, we respect each other. As Nawal, I am proud to be a Muslim; and as Nele, I hope that I am home among Muslims who try to my mother is proud of me being a good live according to Islam. I am home with person.” my parents and brothers, who love me and whom I love despite our religious [1] [And to Thamud (We sent) their brother differences. Although my family does not Salih. He said, O my people! Serve Allah, understand my religious choice, they give you have no god other than Him; clear me all the opportunities to develop myself proof indeed has come to you from your in an Islamic way of life.

Lord; this is (as) Allah’s she-camel for you - a sign, therefore leave her alone to pasture It has been nine years since I converted on Allah’s earth, and do not touch her with to Islam and, al-hamdu lillah, every day I any harm; otherwise, painful chastisement am more convinced of the choice I made. will overtake you.] (Al-A`raf 7:73) I try to learn as much as possible about --------------------my religion and apply it to my daily life, in order to become a good person and a good Muslim. I share my knowledge with IF YOU HAVE ANY STORIES YOU other girls who are interested in Islam WOULD LIKE TO SHARE and together we grow in our belief. I find it important to be critical towards myself CONTACT US AT and my belief.

The Qur’an is the word of God, but we are merely people with our own interpretation.

We can only try to study Allah’s message and come as close as possible to Him. In the Western context, it is not easy to be a critical Muslim, since Islam is being blamed as the source of all evil. As a Muslim, you tend to defend your religion by isolating yourself as a community. However, as true Muslims, we should always be open for a dialogue.

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When I started my life as a Muslim, I was still a teenager. As all teenagers, I was not very open towards my parents. Actually, they suddenly discovered that I converted just when I started wearing the veil. For me, this was a normal step in my religious development; for my parents, it came as a shock.

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My communication skills grew over the years. Now, I find it important to involve my parents in seeking solutions when my perception on something clashes

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Hayati Recipes A few cool DIY recipes collections for you to try at home.

Plus a sweet cooling dessert to finish your meal off.

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BOURBON CHICKEN INGREDIENTS 2 lbs boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces 1 -2 tablespoon olive oil 1 garlic clove, crushed 1/4 teaspoon ginger 3/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 1/4 cup apple juice 1/3 cup light brown sugar 2 tablespoons ketchup 1 tablespoon cider vinegar 1/2 cup water 1/3 cup soy sauce METHOD Heat oil in a large skillet.

Add chicken pieces and cook until lightly browned.

Remove chicken.

Add remaining ingredients, heating over medium Heat until well mixed and dissolved.

Add chicken and bring to a hard boil.

Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.

Serve over hot rice and ENJOY.

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BEEF TENDERLOIN STEW INGREDIENTS: 2 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 1/2 cups diced potatoes, rinsed (1/2 inch) 1 cup baby carrots 1 cup small white button mushrooms 1/3 cup chopped onion 1 tablespoon chopped garlic 1/2 cup fresh baby green pea (or frozen) 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 lb beef tenderloin, fat trimmed (cut in 1 1/2 inch pieces) 1/4 teaspoon fresh ground pepper 2 tablespoons dry white wine 2 tablespoons chicken broth METHOD Heat 1 tablespoon butter and the oil in a large nonstick skillet- Add potatoes, carrots and mushrooms.

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Cook, partially covered and stirring occasionally, 8 minutes or until vegetables are soft when pierced and lightly browned.

Add onion; cook for 1 to 2 minutes.

Add garlic, peas and 1/4 teaspoon salt; cook 1 minute until fragrant- Cover and set aside.

Heat remaining butter in another large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until very hot and foaming.

Sprinkle meat with remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt and the pepper; add to skilet and cook 2 to 4 minutes, turning meat until browned on all sides.

Add to vegetables; stir to mix- Transfer to a platter.

Add wine and broth to skillet and boil 10 seconds- Pour over stew and serve

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APPLE CINNAMON ROLLS INGREDIENTS 1 large chicken, cut into serving pieces 1 cup packed brown sugar 2/3 cup vinegar 1/4 cup Sprite or 1/4 cup 7-Up soda 2 -3 tablespoons minced garlic 2 tablespoons soy sauce 1 teaspoon pepper (regular black or cayenne)

METHOD Place chicken in crock pot.

Mix all remaining ingredients and pour over chicken.

Cook on low for 6-8 hours.

Serve over rice or noodles.

You can thicken the juices after cooking with a little cornstarch.

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