Here & Now Issue 31 | April 2019

What’s On Guide 29-41

Here & Now Live! 5 All of Worthing’s a Stage 6-7

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THIS ISSUE SPRING INTO ACTION ISSUE 31HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK | APRIL 2019

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APRIL 2019

34,000

PRINTED COPIES

27,000 door to

door in Worthing

7,000 in outlets

and supermarkets from Ferring to Shoreham

STUFF THAT MATTERS

FREE to read online “Here & Now has increased the exposure of so many of our live events. It’s got a brilliant distribution network and an amazing community element.

We would highly recommend working with Here & Now.” STEPHEN SHELDRAKE, WORTHING THEATRES

WORTHING LIFE | PEOPLE | PLACES Local Theatre: All of Worthing’s a Stage 6 - 9 | 50 Sides of Worthing: Brenock O’Connor 9 | Arty Round Up 11 | Dadifesto 14 | Community Matters 15 | Make a Difference 17 - 19 | Thomas H Green’s Time Machine 26 – 27 | Joe Bunn’s Bardic Trials 41 | Worthing Bypass 46 WHERE TO EAT & DRINK Sugar Rush 12 | Recipe + Events 13 LOCAL BUSINESS Info & Listings 20 | Sunny Worthing Awards 23 - 25 | Council Business Initiatives 25 WHAT’S ON | EVENTS | MUSIC | THEATRE | FILM | COMEDY Your Guide to What’s On 28 – 41 | New! Amphibirun Comes to Worthing Beach 37 COFFEE BREAK Prize Winning Crossword 44 | Super Justice Worthing 44 BUSINESS DIRECTORY 42 - 43 COMPETITION Win tickets to Francis Rossi’s revealing talk 30 | Win tickets to 3 Choirs 35

ADVERTISE WITH US - CALL FRANCES ON 01903 686 100 advertise@hereandnowmag.co.uk | editorial@hereandnowmag.co.uk D I S T R I B U T I O N D E TA I L S PA G E 4

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INFO

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Your customers read this!

Here are the key places. Many more cafés, bars, libraries and community centres hold a few copies too.

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Published by Here & Now Media Ltd The Mill Building, 31 Chatsworth Rd, BN11 1LY www.hereandnowmag.co.uk

STUFF THAT MATTERS

PRINT | DISTRIBUTION

Publisher / Editor: Frances Wetherilt Contributing Editor: Zoe Rhodes Page Design & Layout: Mint Design Studio Film & Theatre Listings: Abi Else Music Listings: Oscar Simpson General Listings: Susie P Smith Regular Contributors: Karl Allison, Joe Bunn, Dan Flanagan, Thomas H Green, Hazel Imbert, Mike Pailthorpe, Jimmy Pearson, Alan Martin Social Media: Abi Else & BiGiAM

DISCLAIMER: HERE & NOW Media Ltd cannot be held responsible for any errors or omissions, or claims made by our contributors or advertisers, and does not endorse companies, products or services that appear in the magazine.

Information was correct at time of going to press.

Readers are advised to check event listing information in case of changes.

Local Business Features are advertorials.

WORTHING

Baked, Rowlands Rd Beach House Coast Café Corner House Colleges: Northbrook Met / Worthing College (staff + students) Cellar Arts Club Colonnade House Denyer News, Goring Rd Diya Newsagents, Broadwater Dome Cinema Durrington Community Centre East Worthing Community Centre Heene Road Community Centre Julia’s Kitchen, Findon Lions shop, Goring Morrisons Old Bakehouse Tea Room, Tarring Passion Fruit Café Ren’s Kitchen Sainsbury’s, Lyons Farm South Downs Leisure Centre, Shaftsbury Avenue St Paul’s Centre Bar Next Door Tesco Extra, Durrington The Burlington Hotel Train of Thought Village Shop, High Salvington West End Gallery, Rowlands Rd Worthing & Adur Chamber and networking events Worthing Library Worthing Museum Worthing Pier, Southern Pavilion Worthing Rugby Club, Angmering Worthing Theatres Worthing Town Hall

FERRING

Asda Kingsley Café Pinkertons Newsagents

SHOREHAM

Artisan Café Basepoint Tesco Extra, Holmbush Ropetackle Centre Shoreham Community Centre Tom Foolery Shoreham Airport

LANCING & SOMPTING

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Asda Deli Bean Lancing Community Centre

FROM THE EDITOR

We’re live, we’re loud and we’re listening!

HERE & NOW will be taking up residence at Colonnade House, 19–24 March WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR IDEAS for future issues! Tell us how

we are doing, share your stories and shout about your events.

Whether you are part of the business scene, a community group, restaurant or venue, theatre group, artist or band, come say hello and help us share the #stuffthatmatters to you.

GET INVOLVED: ACTIVITIES THROUGHOUT THE WEEK

Look out for updates on social media and at hereandnowmag.co.uk/here-now-live

ALL WEEK Joe Bunn’s WordBank. Deposit a word, pop it in the box and Joe will magically turn it into a poem.

COMPETITIONS Drawing competition for children to win a signed copy of Mini Rabbit Not Lost. Pick up an entry form. Look out for more competitions!

TUESDAY – FOOD & DRINK AND BUSINESS 12-2pm Indigo Restaurant and The Dining Room provide a taste of Worthing’s food scene. 12-2pm In business? Find out about networking opportunities and business support and grants from the people who know.

WEDNESDAY – COMMUNITY MATTERS Get Involved. Meet people we feature in the magazine, including the Repair Café and Freedom Works. 12-1.30pm Worthing Community Chest: Info on grants available and how to apply, and how you can help raise funds from recycling.

THURSDAY - MEET THE TEAM If you would like to get involved with Here & Now or have an idea for future issues, come along for a chat.

FRIDAY - FILM & THEATRE AND THE TIME MACHINE Worthing Theatres have something in store for us today. 3.30–5pm Meet Thomas H Green, who would love your ideas for future Time Machine articles.

SATURDAY – ART 11am-3pm Join in with an interactive art project with arts correspondent, Hazel Imbert.

SUNDAY – MUSIC & FAMILY Live performances from Wannado Street Dance, local musicians and more to be confirmed.

2–4pm Local author and illustrator John Bond will be signing copies of Mini Rabbit Not Lost. n

Frances, Editor HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK

HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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THEATRE FEATURE

All of Worthing’s a Stage Too long seen as out-of-the-way, independent theatre in Worthing is quietly starting to make some noise.

THE WICK THEATRE COMPANY

WORTHING THEATRE TRAIL returns for the second year this September. Two acts each venue, two dates each weekend, last two weekends in September.

The Trail is looking for new venues with free suitable space for up to two hours on any of the dates for up to two acts to perform. Closing date of 30 April. They would also welcome new acts and ideas from anyone wishing to participate. Contact Sue or Gary Krost at worthingtheatretrail@ virgin.com.

If you’re involved in local theatre and we missed your jazz hands, please give us a shout at editorial@ hereandnowmag.co.uk and let us know what you’re working on! We will be revisiting theatre in the future so we’d love to hear from you.

You can list your events for FREE at hereandnowmag.co.uk.

If you’re sharing this article, don’t forget to tag us #hereandnowmag #stuffthatmatters

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IF YOU’RE A THEATREGOER ON A BUDGET, or looking for something new, challenging and engaging, it’s time to look again at some of Worthing’s hidden gems and take a chance on the creative work that’s taking place in our local performance spaces.

“Yes, it’s true, Worthing’s got talent – and lots of it!” agrees actor Kerri Hedley-Cheney. “This really is a very exciting time to be involved in theatre and the arts in Worthing with so much going on.

“You only have to take a peep at the FB group, Worthing Area Actors and Creatives – set up by local actor Christophe Phillips two years ago – to see what a thriving community of actors and creative minds we have on our doorstep. The group has steadily grown in numbers and is a fantastic platform for actors and theatre technicians to get together, air ideas and, of course, socialise.”

The group has already spawned Worthing’s very own Theatre Trail, masterminded by locals Gary and Sue Krost. This event, which launched in 2018, saw some of our town’s finest actors, both amateur and professional, taking to the stage in various locations across Worthing to showcase their many and varied talents.

The trail was supported by 11 venues, including Cellar Arts Club, Brunswick & Thorn, Bar 42 and Coast, who offered their space for nothing as did the 12 acts.

“Coast Cafe and Kenads Printers covered the cost of our printing and insurance,” explains Sue. “The rest we organised on no budget, only our time and the goodwill of Worthing.”

“Our ethos is to bring theatre to Worthing for free, so up-and-coming actors, writers and directors have the opportunity to perform to the people of Worthing with no outgoings for venue and no cost to audiences.

“We want to show there is more to theatre than Shakespeare or musicals. We also wanted to bring something new to Worthing, a place we both feel already has so much to offer.”

Marlene Tincknell, who as a long-standing member of Lancing Rep was part of the trail, says, “Creating theatre in the Worthing area is a lot of fun but can be very full on. Trying to find a play which might not only be of interest to the actors, but to the paying audience is a fine balance.

“Performing in places like The Charles Dickens and Libertine was interesting to see how shows could be performed without needing a dressing room, lights or even seating!”

The emergence of such intimate and versatile performance spaces is invaluable in supporting more risky fringe productions. Heavyweight venues such as the Connaught and Pavilion have long supported local communitybased theatre companies, including Worthing Musical Comedy Society, Worthing Musical Theatre Company and in-house professional troupe The Conn Artists Theatre Company.

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TEATIME THEATRE COMPANY, WORTHING THEATRE TRAIL

However, as Dick Douglass of Cellar Arts Club points out, “In the past it would seem that smaller theatre productions had no place to go. The establishment of spaces such as Cellar Arts provides a space for productions that could not fill a large theatre or do not require a large stage area but wish to retain professional standards.”

While some groups have been lucky enough to acquire a dedicated rehearsal or performance space in village halls or fully-fitted venues such as the Barn Theatre in Southwick, where resident company the Southwick Players mounts full-scale shows with production values often rivalling those of professionals, others have worked to develop symbiotic relationships with smaller venues to encourage their support. Linsay Olliver, of vibrant new company Saints Theatre, will be staging her second show at St Paul’s in April.

THE EMERGENCE OF SUCH INTIMATE AND VERSATILE PERFORMANCE SPACES IS INVALUABLE IN SUPPORTING MORE RISKY FRINGE PRODUCTIONS.

“St Paul’s is a truly inspiring and versatile performance space that is highly valued by all of us lucky enough to be able to use it. That’s why all profits from Saints Theatre Group go back to St Paul’s in order to help sustain this marvellous venue as well as secure the future of the drama group there.”

At a time when arts funding is hard to find, this kind of mutual support from businesses and communities is vital to the survival of local theatre. Some groups run as not-for-profit organisations, enabling them to plough all takings back into the company and keep ticket prices low, but sponsorship and advertising is key.

“Funding is difficult for any group or new group starting up,” says Marlene.

“Putting on a show, however minimal, will incur costs of some sort.”

Local businesses often lend a hand, whether it’s Gardner & Scardifield loaning a lorry to Lancing Rep to transport sets, or Cloudberry Boutique in Angmering running a joint competition with WMTC to support their recent production of Bad Girls. Lancing Lions donated money to enable Lancing Rep to offer some free seats for families to watch their panto.

Linsay feels the outlook is positive. “We’ve had great support from the wider community; we had 22 volunteers working on our last production, which sold out and won two Brighton & Hove Arts Council Drama Awards, and we were delighted to receive some funding from the Sussex Police Property Act fund. Our next production in April promises as much if not more in terms of engagement and creativity with a cast and crew made up of Worthing residents, so I’m pretty darn chuffed!”

Sue Krost agrees. “Funding, promotion and sponsorship help enormously, but we would have done it again just us if we had to, as we feel so passionate about it.”

So what next for theatre in Worthing?

Lorraine Juniper-Palmer of WMTC says, “It would be wonderful if the council had a pot of money to upgrade the theatres generally; not just the auditoriums, but behind-the-scenes facilities as well. I would also like to see larger audiences, which means the theatres helping more with promotions to a wider area.”

Marlene Tincknell would like to see higher levels of inclusion. “I’d love to see more performance opportunities for all abilities and all ages. It isn’t easy, with limited accessibility to many rehearsal and

performance spaces and no funding to make it better. I am thinking something along the lines of Chickenshed in London. Perhaps it’s a pipe dream, but maybe in years to come it will happen.”

Stephen Sheldrake of Worthing Theatres says, “For me personally, I would love to see Worthing producing as much original work as possible, whether that is adaptations of famous plays and musicals, or creating original and unique productions that start from scratch. The more work we can create here, the more we can spread the word about our fantastic cultural town and the exciting hub it has become over the past few years.”

Linsay Olliver believes the only way is up. “It’s an honour to share the creative challenges of theatre making with the generous and talented people in this local area. I firmly believe that talent and commitment attract more talent and commitment, and Worthing has its own cultural and creative identity that I feel theatre groups like ours contribute greatly to. So far we’ve been exceptionally lucky and are continuing to grow a superb team of talented, generous and hard working people who are fully engaged in crafting theatre to a high standard.”

Get Involved

Getting involved with voluntary theatre is a well-trodden path into gaining more experience on the boards, but gone are the days when shows by non-professionals were dismissed as amateur.

THESE PRODUCTIONS ARE NOW OFTEN AS SLICK and well-puttogether as their paid counterparts.

Local non-professional groups are friendly; every one that we spoke to stressed that they are always looking for new members, regardless of experience, and that the opportunities are endless and sometimes surprising.

Gary Cook of Southwick Players emphasises, “If anyone is thinking of tapping into their ‘dramatic’ side, I cannot recommend joining a group like the Players enough. I volunteered to help out with graphic design and a few years later have found myself directing two full-length plays, becoming president and treading the boards.”

Vicky Scales of WMCS agrees. “There is no better way to develop skills, foster relationships and gain confidence. Attend as many productions locally as you can, which will give you an insight to high quality local amateur theatre.”

As Susanne Crosby of Wick Theatre Company concludes “There are tons of things to do for a major theatre production. All our members are volunteers, not because they are worthless, but because they are priceless.”

Whatever your experience take the plunge and give it a whirl - you never know, you might be the next Brenock O’Connor or Gwendoline Christie! n

HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK

Zoe Rhodes Contributing Editor

HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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50 SIDES OF WORTHING

For the Watch

As we gear up for the final season of HBO’s Game of Thrones, Here & Now chatted to Worthing-born and bred Brenock O’Connor, who as farm boy-turned-steward Olly stabbed fan favourite Jon Snow through the heart (and in the back) right at the end of season five.

How long have you lived in Worthing?

My whole life! I was born in Worthing hospital and I’ve lived in the same house ever since. I’m in the process of moving up to London now, but it’s always been Worthing.

What do you love about Worthing?

THEATRE LISTINGS Macbeth 27-30 Mar. 7.45pm. Barn Theatre. Wick Theatre Co. Whispers through the Static 11 Apr. 7.30pm. Cellar Arts Club. Four short horror audio dramas The Importance of Being Earnest 11-13 April. 7.30pm & 2.30pm Sat matinee.

Lancing Parish Hall. Lancing Rep. Backstage help welcome at the get-in on Sun 7 Apr and set changes during the run.

Wonderful World of Dissocia 25-27th April. 7pm. St Paul’s. Saints Theatre.

V 25 May. Time tbc. Cellar Arts Club.

Sean McLevy performs Tony Harrison’s controversial work

I really enjoy busking in Worthing, I’ve gotta be honest. I like the people in the streets, they seem to always have time for musicians. It’s a good bit of fun to pass the time!

What has been one of your most embarrassing moments?

I think any blooper I’ve done on any job! There’s one in Game of Thrones where I’m doing a sword training scene with Jon. I wanted to do this cool fighting thing, I was 14 and I was like “Yeah, I’m gonna be a cool action hero, I’ve got a sword in my hand”, and I just tripped myself up and landed on my arse.

If you could bring anything extinct back to life, what would it be?

The blue parrot from Rio. It’s such a good film, I really enjoy it and now I can only watch it knowing we failed on that one!

What piece of music has changed your life?

The Wedding Singer 14-18 May. 7.30pm & 2.30pm. Connaught. WMCS.

There’s a brilliant album called Sleep by Max Richter. I was doing a piece of theatre in Bath and we used a track from that in one of the scenes. Now I listen to it every time I get a new script sent through. It lets you zone out of the noise of the real world and focus, which makes script reading a lot easier.

Ben Hur 5-8 June. Times tbc. Barn Theatre.

Southwick Players.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

Neighbourhood Watch 26-29 June. Times tbc. Barn Theatre. Wick Theatre Co.

CHECK OUT Blacksheep Theatre Domino Theatre Downstage Theatre Durrington Theatrical Society Full Circle Theatre Kompact Theatre Lancing Rep Limbo Theatre Rustington Players Saints Theatre Group Southwick Players Teatime Theatre Company This Is My Theatre Troubadour Tales The Warriors Co Wick Theatre Company WIMPS Worthing Musical Comedy Society Worthing Musical Theatre Company

I wanted to be a scientist but I didn’t live the dream long enough to pick which part of science before I fell into acting. I did pantomime, and went “This is fun”, so I joined Worthing Musical Comedy Society for a couple of years. Then I moved into The Theatre Workshop in Brighton which had an agency attached, and it all fell into place from there. I enjoyed acting but I never decided it would be a career, it just sort of happened!

What single thing would you do to improve Worthing?

I think I’d have a better mental health centre because there’s a lot of troubled teens in Worthing from my experience, having been one myself and still being one. There’s not really anywhere you can go until you get into Brighton, or not that I was told about, so I think it would probably be that that is needed.

What was the last event you paid to go to in Worthing?

It was Newton Faulkner at the Assembly Halls. He was insane; he did this one song where he unplugged his guitar, stepped away from the microphone and just sang and it was brilliant.

And finally…who do you think will sit on the Iron Throne?

Haha! I want to say Jon (obviously) but I really think the Night King is unbeatable. Who knows though! n

HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK

Abie Else

HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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FINANCE CORNER

Making Time for a Financial Review

year period. Let us take the pressure out of the search and find you the best scheme with a no obligation review.

We always find it surprising when we see someone who hasn’t had a financial review in a long time.

EVERYONE WORKS REALLY HARD, often sacrificing family time and hobbies to earn their money but once it’s earnt so many of us don’t take steps to ensure that money continues to work as hard for you as you did when you earnt it.

B U S I N E S S F E AT U R E

Typical financial mistakes we see clients make are normally in regard to their mortgage, savings or debts.

If you have come off a special deal on your mortgage and have moved on to the lenders’ variable rate this is normally an expensive rate and for most, there are alternative options with significant savings to be had. These savings are often simple to achieve and quick to process, ensuring your money is in your pocket and not your lender’s.

If your deal has ended don’t just jump on what your current lender offers. Normally there are better deals in the wider market and what may look like a small difference in interest rate can add up to hundreds or thousands of pounds over a 2 to 5

For those with savings or investments, interest rates are at a low level so it’s key you make sure you are getting the best deal that you can get. The impact an extra 1% can have over time is incredibly significant. The ISA deadline is also drawing near so don’t forget to top up this years ISA or make plans for the 2019 ISA allowance.

At Emerald Finance we ensure our clients’ finances work for them, not their lender or bank. If you would like to make sure your money works for you, please take advantage of our free review.

Emerald Finance have two offices locally, one at 77 Rowlands Road, Worthing and one in the town centre at 10 Chapel Road, Worthing. Our advisers can also meet you at your home or discuss your affairs on the phone. Call 01903 222940 or email info@ emeraldfinance.co.uk for more details. n

MATT SUTTON, MANAGING DIRECTOR OF EMERALD FINANCE, your local award winning financial advisers, is here to answer your financial questions. Got a query? Email info@emeraldfinance.co.uk

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Your home may be repossessedand if you do not maintain payments Finance is a trading nameandofregulated Fairstone Financial Management Ltd who is authorised regulated by on your mortgage. value of your investments can go Authority, down as well as up and you could get back lessNumber than you paid in.475973 theThe Financial Conduct FCA Register

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ART IN APRIL

ART ROUND UP

Tue 26 – Mon 31 Mar Gill Dixon: The Landscape of Stitch Colonnade House. Gill uses hand stitch as if it were drawing and collaged fabric like paint to interpret the various moods and atmosphere of the area, from Downs to sea, river to beach.

FREE Sat 30 Mar

Artist Profile CREDIT: MARIE VICKERS

Sunprint Photography Workshop 11am-1pm.

Cast45 at East Beach Studios. Discover how to paint with light to produce botanical prints.

Tickets eventbrite Fri 5 Apr Felted Flowers 11am-1pm. The Little Craftery.

Learn to make felt with Merino wool, and create gorgeous felted flowers! £20 Sun 7 Apr

Here & Now spoke to Worthing-based artist Marie Vickers, whose work featured in the recent West Sussex Art Society’s exhibition at Colonnade House, about her development as an artist and her inspiration.

“ART IS A GREAT ESCAPE from the daily grind, it takes you out of yourself and there is such a sense of achievement when you create something,” Marie explains. “When I first sold a painting, it meant so much to me that someone loved it enough to buy it and have it in their home.”

It hasn’t been a straightforward path for Marie. She first discovered her love of art at secondary school, where a teacher ran after-school art sessions which quickly became the highlight of her week. She went on to study A-level art at a local sixth form, but didn’t have an idea for an art-based career so gave it up.

Marie didn’t take up any art-related activity for another 15 years, but a life drawing class at Union Place (original site of Worthing Art School) caught her eye and she signed up. The tutor, John Stanley-Clamp, introduced her to a whole new way of drawing.

People who have inspired and encouraged her development include fellow artist Naomi Frances, and her partner Joe, giving her confidence when she took up drawing again.

“I was also fortunate to know and be taught by Marcus Finch, who gave me great technical advice, and allowed us to play around with different ideas and materials; and Phil Tyler, whose painting course I went on – it allowed me to finally paint, and I haven’t looked back since!”

Describing how she starts a piece, Marie said, “I find an image I really like the look of, sketch it out, and then, if it feels right, paint it. I love working with acrylic paint; it is very forgiving, and dries quickly, which suits me very well as I can be quite impatient!”

Marie cites Tamara de Lempicka as an artist whose figure painting she admires, and Dorothea Tanning, the American painter and sculptor, whose work is currently on exhibition at Tate Modern. Her own favourite work?

Printmaking 10.30am. Worthing Museum.

Make unique prints using different approaches drawing, stencils, textures and direct painting with artist Gary Goodman.

Ages 14+. £15 Tue 2 – Sat 13 Apr INK: Spring Colonnade House. Sussex Printmakers. FREE Tue 16 Apr – Sat 4 May Constructed Geographies Colonnade House.

A visual arts exhibition featuring artists who have created new work in response to Sussex’s diverse heritage and population.

FREE Sat 20 Apr Printmaking 10.30am. Worthing Museum.

Make unique prints using different approaches drawing, stencils, textures and direct painting with artist Gary Goodman.

Ages 14+. £15 Sun 28 Apr Hand-Rolled Beeswax Candles 3-4.30pm. The Little Craftery. Learn different techniques to make several designs and styles of candles with natural beeswax sheets, in a variety of colours.

Ongoing Schooled at Slade Worthing Museum.

Fascinating look at some of the early teachers at Slade School of Fine Art, and the impact they had on their students. Until 6 Apr. FREE

“It’s usually the one I am working on. You spend so much time working on it and looking at it – you do have to love it a little bit. But once it’s finished, I move on to the next one!”

Marie will be participating in this year’s Worthing Artists Open Houses based in Rose Walk, where her paintings and sea glass jewellery will be on display. Visit www.marievickers.co.uk n

Artists Networking Breakfast 9am.

Brunswick & Thorn. FREE Sat 6 Apr

Hazel Imbert Art Correspondent

HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK

Memory of Clothes Worthing Museum.

An exhibition of sculptural work and a podcast documenting research by artist Helen Barff and writer Suzanne Joinson.

Until 8 June. FREE

HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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WHERE TO EAT & DRINK

Going out? Try here.

The Cow Shed

The Dining Room

Indigo

Be Here Now!

Family and dog friendly bar directly opposite the pier. Cocktails and American comfort food our speciality. Wide range of draughts and craft beers, wines and over 30 gins. Watch the world go by, stop for pre-theatre drinks or just chill out.

Open to 1pm Fri & Sat.

Fine dining. Re-imagined. Locally sourced ingredients and a feast of dining delights and masterclasses to enjoy, all from an award-winning team. From casual dining to 7-course tasting menus, there’s something for everyone. Opening times the-dining-room.co.uk

Contemporary English & European cuisine, expertly prepared & presented. Only the finest ingredients are sourced, wherever possible from local producers.

Choice of a la carte or fixed menu, Sunday lunches, afternoon teas, private dining.

Your customers look here.

Let us help you from just £40 + vat. Print and online packages with social media support.

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FINE DINING RESTAURANT 14 Crescent Road 01903 204 194

BAR & RESTAURANT Steyne Gardens 01903 230 451

FAB BAR OR RESTAURANT? advertise@hereandnowmag.co.uk 01903 686 100

Sugar Rush If like us you struggle with a sweet tooth, the arrival of Easter can be enough to turn you into Augustus Gloop.

PURE Chocolate Truffles, I want not only to introduce you to delicious chocolate truffles but also to show that they can be made without any colourings, additives or preservatives.”

HOWEVER, THIS YEAR WE ARE GOING TO RESTRAIN ourselves from gorging on chocolate rivers and instead tantalise our taste buds with some of the incredible artisan chocolate being handcrafted by local chocolatiers.

OUR SHOREHAM NEIGHBOURS have outdone themselves with this year’s Easter egg, which features an all-over design of spermatozoa lovingly crafted in white chocolate with a hidden surprise of champagne truffle. More traditional designs include a Fabergé-style egg covered in ‘brooches’ and a chilli, lime and dark chocolate extravaganza. All eggs can be personalised with a hand piped message. n

Charlene’s Chocolate Factory

INSPIRED BY THE BIRTH OF HIS DAUGHTER, Richard set up the company in 2015 to make high quality artisan chocolates.

They now offer over 25 delicious flavours including mint choc chip, lemon drizzle and white chocolate and beetroot, as well as Easter specials such as the limited edition hot cross bun-flavoured chocolate slabs and Easter eggs which taste of bubblegum or scorpion chilli and popping candy.

The Chocolatician

PURE Chocolate Truffles

THIS FINDON COMPANY CREATES handmade Scandinavian chocolate truffles under the watchful eye of Kim BangSørensen and his committed band of chocolatiers. Kim says, “I

love good chocolate and enjoy it every day, however, 25 years ago when I first came to the UK, it was impossible to find. With 12

| April 2019 | HERE & NOW ADVERTISE NOW 01903 686100

APRIL RECIPE

Hidden Mini Egg Cake To celebrate Easter, fooling people and hidden things this month, Here & Now brings to you a simple recipe for a delicious hidden mini egg cake.

You can do this with pretty much any cake recipe and flavouring you fancy, but I would recommend doing at least 3 layers of cake to get as many of those delicious mini eggs in the centre as possible!

VANILLA CAKE

• 375g butter/ margarine •375g caster sugar • 2 tsps vanilla extract •6 eggs •375g self-raising flour ICING

• 200g butter/margarine •400g icing sugar, sifted • 1 tsp vanilla extract •250g mini eggs to fill (fooled you!)

OPTIONAL DECORATION

Go wild – sprinkles, flowers, icing bunnies or carrots.

METHOD - CAKE & ICING

• Grease and line 3 20cm cake tins. Preheat oven to 160c (fan)/180c/Gas mark 4.

• Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add in the vanilla extract and then one egg at a time, beating the mixture well after each one.

• Whack in the flour and fold until all mixed.

• Divide the mix between the 3 tins and bake for 25-30 mins until golden. Check that a skewer comes out clean with no wet mixture on it.

• Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

• To make the icing, beat together the butter, icing sugar and vanilla until fluffy.

ASSEMBLY (Once the cakes have cooled!)

• Level the tops of the cakes if they are domed (helps

to avoid ‘leaning tower of Pisa’ when stacking).

• Cut out the centres of 2 of the cakes using a cutter or sharp knife to create 2 rings.

• Set the first ring onto a plate/cake board and sandwich with the second ring using a layer of the butter icing.

• Fill the ring up with your hidden surprise mini eggs.

• Coat the top ring with icing. Place the final full cake on top.

• Coat the top and sides of cake with remaining icing.

• Go wild on any additional creative decorations you have. Cover in a tonne of sprinkles to hide any sins.

HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK

HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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-

DADIFESTO

The Joke’s on You, Suckers!

On one hand, the old bucket of water on top of the classroom door prank may have worked like a dream when pulled off by Roger the Dodger or Dennis the Menace.

But when the target was a science teacher at an allboys school in Kent in 1987, affectionately nicknamed ‘Psycho’ by generations of kids in his care because of his hair-trigger red-faced temper, the results could lead to something other than humour #justsaying.

Anyway, since the arrival of Dadulthood, a terrible condition that afflicts many of us grown-up males, the chance to be silly might be a rapidly disappearing memory.

This year I want to bring it back, so here are some ideas to get the ball rolling:

1. Hack into your boss’s email account, and set an out-ofoffice message that makes them seem adorably bananas.

Something like “I will be unreachable by email from

Wednesday 1 April for one week. During this time I will be getting help for my halitosis, poor personal hygiene and inability to do my job without making wholly inappropriate and casually racist/sexist remarks whilst micromanaging other more talented and better-looking members of my team. In case of emergency, please contact anybody who gives a flying flip.”

CREDIT: DENNIS THE MENACE CBS TV

Give me a shout on Twitter @ TotRockinBeats, let me know what you think and tag it #stuffthatmatters and #hereandnowmag Or if you are a dad that is struggling with Dadulthood, join me and a group of very cool dads and kids at Dad La Soul on 27 April.

More details at totrockinbeats.com

Pinch, punch, the first day of the month, black rabbit, white rabbit, no returns. Can you even do that anymore?

PHYSICALLY ASSAULTING OTHER KIDS in the playground was a daily ritual at schools back in the day, especially when it could be claimed it was a hilarious ‘joke’. How times change, eh?Back then the only way to survive the first of the month was either stay off sick or get there early and go in for the kill before the other kid did.

However, the first of the month in April was always seen as something special. A chance to play pranks on your mates, or, if you were a little more foolhardy, your parents and teachers.

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2. Tell your in-laws that, since Brexit, a new law has passed whereby if they feed your kids Haribo continuously or judge your parenting abilities with withering looks and snide comments they will be forced to explain their actions in a court of law.

3. Set the alarm for 3am, charge into your kids’ room and jump on their beds screaming that you want to watch YouTube videos of other parents with annoying voices wrapping presents, as an alternative to all the toy unboxing channels they subject us to watching. Do not give up screaming until they are on the verge of a breakdown and start to turn on each other with death stares, saying “This

is your fault, I told you they were having too much screentime”.

April Fools’ Day will never be the same again.

That’s all folks, until next time. n

Dan Flanagan TotRockinBeats | Dad La Soul

COMMUNITY MATTERS

Walk this Way schools armed with the skills to develop the ideas with their students. The young people, teachers and volunteers will then have about six weeks to create their outfits and structures in extra-curricular sessions before the big day on Saturday 15 June.

If all those young people can get anywhere near matching Caroline’s enthusiasm, it should be something worth seeing. “I’ve

CREDIT: KA WELLS

been teaching art for 20 years now and I’m really passionate about it. And I’m passionate about reading as well, so if we can find ways of inspiring young people towards a love of stories through a love of artwork then we must surely be onto a winner.”

There will be a day in June, hopefully a gloriously sunny one, when the streets of Worthing are full of Gangsta Grannies, Demon Dentists, Bad Dads and even the occasional Mr Stink.

“There’ll be costumes and giant sculptures.

We’re just sparking young people’s imaginations.”

SUCH IS A SUMMER IN WORTHING these days that most people won’t even be terribly surprised.

CAROLINE WOODWARD

Last year, the Children’s Parade brought us Harry Potter; this year it’s the books of David Walliams. “It’s going to be a really good year,” says organiser Caroline Woodward. “There are

so many ideas. There’ll be costumes and giant sculptures. We’re just sparking young people’s imaginations.”

The Children’s Parade has been going for 12 years and it gets bigger every time. “We’ve got 20 schools signed up already,” says Caroline,

“including a few that are involved for the very first time. It’s exciting to be spreading our creativity around and giving more young people access to art provision in school.”

The preparations are already underway. Teachers from all the participating schools met recently at St Andrew’s – the school where Caroline teaches – for a masterclass in all things Walliams.

Design elements for the giant sculptures were discussed with the contributing artists, enabling the teachers to go back to their

“I think everyone is creative and I get saddened by the narrowing curriculum. I know maths and English are really important, but so are play and discovery and producing art. In life, nothing is ever pigeon-holed the way it is in schools. In the real world, we all work together, so it’s really nice to get that over-arching view that I don’t think you get on a daily basis working in schools.”

“This type of work is really important.

We get a group of young people together and watch them bounce ideas off each other, getting more and more excited about the work they are doing. Transferable skills, problem solving, health and wellbeing and developing people’s confidence; all of that is embodied in the Children’s Parade. You can’t bottle that. I really don’t think it can be replaced by anything else.” n

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Spring Clean Micro-volunteering Day is 15 April, so at Here & Now we’re challenging you to take five minutes that Monday and do one of the things listed below.

TAG US ON SOCIAL MEDIA and hashtag #stuffthatmatters and if we like what you’re up to, we’ll re-post it!

Pick of the Litter

IF YOU’VE EVER PICKED up a bit of litter on Worthing beach, you’ve already micro-volunteered! Next time you’re on the seafront, try doing a five minute beach clean or litter pick.

If you find any fishing lines, drop them off at Prime Angling on Brighton Road and they will recycle them as part of a national scheme. The scheme started in Sussex and you can find more info at anglers-nlrs.co.uk. Organisations such as Friends of Shoreham Beach, Keep Lancing Lovely, the Marine Conservation Society and Sussex Wildlife Trust also organise regular beach cleans which you can join whenever you’re free.

Nutty for Knitting?

THE SPECIAL CARE BABY UNIT at Worthing Hospital

is always grateful for knitted hats, blankets, booties and cardigans. There are lots of patterns on bliss.org.uk to get you started. You could also knit a tiny woollen hat for Age UK to be popped on bottles of innocent juice drinks; drop it off at Age UK in Chapel Road or post to the charity direct before July. Since 2003, volunteers have knitted over seven million hats and raised more than £2.4m for Age UK.

So you’ve never...

MICRO-VOLUNTEERED Time-poor but big-hearted? You need to get involved with micro-volunteering, an easy way to support charities in short, efficient bursts and still feel like you’ve made a big difference.

Why do it? It’s flexible, open to all and ideal for busy people. Usually it involves

easy tasks that can be done anywhere at any time, with no ongoing commitment and no prior skills or training required.

Where can you do it? Pretty much anywhere that has an internet connection.

Other micro-actions such as two-minute beach cleans and litter picks can be done when you are out and about, or you could knit a blanket, write to a child in hospital or visit a lonely neighbour.

Who does it? Micro-volunteering tends to be popular among young people, but it’s great for anyone who has short chunks of time to donate rather than a long-term regular commitment. It also opens up volunteering to people who find it hard to get involved because of issues like mobility challenges.

Any drawbacks? There can be a lack of community when you volunteer on an ad hoc basis, but as it takes place online there are always meet-ups, forums and networks to join.

How do I find out more? Check out Help From Home on social media, or try the UN portal for online volunteering. There are

specific areas such as citizen science which rely on micro-volunteers to contribute to research; have a look at Zooniverse for projects. If you have professional skills to offer, check out Skills For Change, where you can help community projects and non-profits with social media, design, research and even brainstorming. We’ve put together some suggestions for local micro-action opportunities as well. n

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Tree is the Magic Number

A GREAT HANDS-ON WAY to teach children about the changes in seasons, The Woodland Trust asks people to upload everything from when they spot butterflies or frog spawn to blackberries ripening or when leaves begin to bud. They also have an Ancient Tree Hunt, which encourages you to check in on ancient woodland and make sure the trees are still standing!

Find out more at woodlandtrust.org.uk.

Sail Away

THE HISTORIC HIGH SALVINGTON MILL re-opens for the 2019 season on Sunday 7 April, and will open every first and third Sunday afternoon. Volunteers can get as involved as they would like, from guides and gatekeepers to friendly faces and cake makers. Message them on Facebook @ HighSalvingtonWindmill for more info.

Power to the Grid Please Mr Postman EVERYONE LOVES receiving a letter, and Postpals is on a mission to send post from anywhere in the world to a sick child or their siblings. You can write a one-off missive or become a regular penpal, and there’s the option to send emails or gifts if you like. More at postpals.co.uk

Go Hog Wild

HELP OUT MRS TIGGYWINKLE and join the Living With Mammals survey, for The People’s Trust for Endangered Species, which starts on 1 April and runs until the end of June. Counting our native wildlife helps us keep an eye on populations and tell when a species is in trouble. To take part, all you have to do is record the mammals that you see each week in any green space within 200m of a building, plus any signs they might leave behind, such as droppings or footprints. You can also help to monitor numbers of stag beetles, and register a hog you’ve spotted on the bighedgehogmap.org.

Have a Duvet Day

GOT A DUVET IN NEED of a spring clean? Call the Aldingbourne Trust who will collect and wash it for you, with all profits going back into the charity. They will also clean curtains, blankets and dog beds. Get more information at aldingbournetrust.org.

THE WORLD COMMUNITY GRID is a project to enable anyone with a computer, smartphone or tablet to donate their unused computer power to advance scientific research. It has supported 29 research projects to date, including searching for more effective treatments for cancer and HIV/AIDS, finding low cost water filtration systems and new materials for capturing solar energy. Find out more at worldcommunitygrid.org

Get App-y

IF YOU PREFER TO VOLUNTEER on your phone, Free Rice is a game where each correct definition of a word donates 10 grains of rice to the UN World Food Programme. You can choose from a number of different categories, so use it to test your general knowledge on everything from flags to the world to languages and famous paintings! Join in at freerice.com. There are also apps such as Elbi, where you interact with short videos uploaded by charities, or Be My Eyes which lets you lend your eyes to a visually impaired person through video chats. n

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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LOCAL BUSINESS

Join us at Here & Now Live.

19–24 March, Colonnade House

GET INVOLVED

Find business info and support, get involved – be inspired!

Here & Now Live at Colonnade House! hereandnowmag.co.uk/here-now-live.

FREE

Join Here & Now during the week 19–24 March, when we will be taking up residence at Colonnade House, Warwick Street. We invite you to drop in, meet the Here & Now team and find out about all the good stuff going on in and around Worthing.

What If…? 6-9pm. Connaught Theatre.

Informal, inclusive explorations of key issues in business, culture, community and education. Guest speakers, debate, drinks and introductions. Info + book thepossibilityclub.org

On Tuesday 19 March, Freedom Works, Worthing & Adur Chamber and Adur & Worthing Councils will be dropping by to talk about business support, grants and office space in Worthing. You could also take the opportunity to chat with Colonnade House about their office space. Information leaflets will Please mention Here also be available to pick up & Now when booking throughout the week. Look out your event and check for updates on all activities at websites for updates. hereandnowmag.co.uk/ here-now-live.

List your business event for FREE at hereandnowmag. co.uk

To advertise your event from just £40 + VAT, email advertise@ hereandnowmag. co.uk

20

Always wanted to attend a networking event but not sure it’s for you? We’ll happily chat through any of the listings below and if you have a business event that you’d like to promote, we’d love to hear from you too. n

Tue 19 - Sun 24 Mar

Thu 28 Mar

Fri 12 Apr Chamber Hub 12.30-2pm.

Impulse Leisure, Lancing Manor.

Informal networking for all. Book worthingandadurchamber.co.uk. FREE

Thu 25 Apr Networking Hub 12pm. Basepoint (SHM). FREE

Fri 8 Mar WorthingDigital

it can be used it in very different ways.

Register Meetup. FREE

Tue 7 May Worthing Digital Talks: Using Data as a Creative Material 7pm. Fresh Egg, Buckingham Rd. Terika Seaborn-Brown reviews methods used in the early stages of product development/redevelopment. Register Meetup. FREE

Wed 8 May Worthing & Adur Chamber of Commerce AGM 5.30pm. Register.

FREE REGULAR (MOSTLY FREE) EVENTS

Looking to grow your business? BNI Networking Every Thu. 6.30am. Dome Cinema. This friendly business group meets over breakfast at the Dome.

Members support each other to grow their businesses.

The best way to find out about BNI is to visit. For info, call Jim on 0333 800 0888, Facebook @bniworthing or visit bniworthing.co.uk. Booking essential. £10 inc breakfast.

Tue 30 Apr

Networth First Wed/month. 5.307.15pm. Cafalatte, Chapel Rd. FREE

#ShakeItHUB Design and Marketing Help Session 12-1.30pm. Worthing Town Hall. FREE

WorthingDigital Social First Thu/ month. 8-9pm. The Cow & Oak. FREE

Tue 30 Apr Worthing Digital Talks: Formative Research Methods 7pm. Fresh Egg, Buckingham Rd. Mike Brondbjerg looks at how data connects projects and how

| April 2019 | HERE & NOW ADVERTISE NOW 01903 686100

First Friday Network First Fri/month.

12.30-2.30pm. Burlington Hotel. FREE Worthing Business Oracle Last Fri/ month. 9.30-10.30am. Starbucks, Broadwater. Book Eventbrite. FREE

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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A bunch of fresh ideas

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SUNNY WORTHING AWARDS 2019

You Voted.

They Won! Last month, we at Here & Now ensconced ourselves front and centre at Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion and had a fabulous time at the latest Sunny Worthing Awards.

INDEPENDENT RETAILER

WINNER: Sewsilver SPONSOR: ST. GEORGE’S SCHOOL OF ENGLISH

BAR / VENUE WINNER: Brooksteed Alehouse SPONSOR: INSPIRED BY THE SEA

LEISURE, SPORTS & TOURISM

ARTS & CRAFTS

COMPERED THIS YEAR by Bob Smytherman, the awards recognise business and community organisations within Worthing and are organised by Colm Sweet and the team of Sunny Worthing volunteers.

Here & Now sponsored the Sunniest Worthing Event and we were thrilled to present the award to winners Worthing Pride.

Founder Colm Sweet says, “Like many of you, I moved to Worthing a few years ago and now call it home. Like all of you, I am determined to make Worthing a more fun and dynamic place for me to live and my children to grow up in.

“This year I’m delighted to see so many new faces at these awards. Part of this cultural boost is the work done

by Worthing Community Chest in supporting grass roots projects, and Here & Now magazine as a breath of fresh air in publishing listings and promoting events and local businesses. These awards are turbo-powered due to the support of both of these organisations and I am hugely thankful for their support this year.”

WINNER: St George’s School of English SPONSOR: GLENDALE THEATRE ARTS SCHOOL

WINNER: The Little Craftery SPONSOR: WORTHING WOW

INDEPENDENT CAFE

WINNER: Coast SPONSOR: SMART CHOICE ELECTRICAL & CONTRACTING

NEW BUSINESS

WINNER: VBab SPONSOR: THE GEORGI FIN

This year’s awards were sponsored by Worthing Community Chest, whose chair Karl Allison says, “We were really pleased to be a part of such a great night! The spirit of these awards tells us so much about what’s happening in Worthing right now. New ideas, new businesses, new initiatives. Can we do it again next year please?”

INDEPENDENT RESTAURANT

WINNER: CrabShack SPONSOR: STEPHANIE LEIGH

Congratulations to all nominees and winners! n

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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| April 2019 | HERE & NOW ADVERTISE NOW 01903 686100

PEOPLE’S CHOICE

WINNER: The Shelley Care SPONSOR: THE LIBERTINE

Home

Pete and Hannah from Across the Sea provided music, sponsored by Lemon Fizz.

Luke supplied the sound.

Ed Watts photography, sponsored by CrabShack.

WORTHING EVENT WINNER: Worthing Pride SPONSOR: HERE & NOW MEDIA

Subway EPS, provided the framed certificates.

Studio Freer created the trophies.

GRASS ROOTS PROJECT

CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT

SERVICE SECTOR BUSINESS

PANEL’S CHOICE

WINNER: Plastic Free Worthing SPONSOR: WORTHING COMMUNITY CHEST

WINNER: Kala Beauty SPONSOR: SEWSILVER

WINNER: Worthing SPONSOR: ART-FUL

A collection on the night raised an amazing £300 for Superstar Arts.

Sling Library

WINNER: Community House SPONSOR: WORTHING PIER’S SOUTHERN PAVILION

COLM SWEET, SUNNY WORTHING COMMUNITY PROJECT WINNER: Save Our SPONSOR: COAST

Schools HEREANDNOWMAG.CO.UK

HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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THOMAS H GREEN - MUSICAL TIME MACHINE

THE BARRIERS CREDIT: ETHAN TOMLINSON

Converted from a Victorian terraced house to Waldorf’s Café in the 1960s, 42 Marine Parade initially served ice cream with a dash of rock’n’roll spirit.

BY THE MID-70S it had become the Boat and Anchor pub, with netting and plastic lobsters on the ceiling and a clientele of hippies, bikers and fishermen. It was Paige’s in the 90s, a club-bar playing house sounds, and Bar Breeze opened in the early 00s. Over time, the latter gained a reputation for edginess set to a drum & bass soundtrack. By 2011 the premises sought a new leaseholder.

Bar 42

MARK KNOWLES CREDIT: JAMES COOMBER

2011-Present

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The story of Bar 42, however, is also the story of Mark Knowles. Born in Sutton in 1973, he moved to Worthing aged five, and grew up in Durrington.

“I always wanted to own a bar,” he says. “When I was 21 there was an empty double-fronted shop up for lease on Chapel Road. I had a surveyor look it over, then put a proposal together for the landlord, but they said I was too young.”

Mark had various jobs after leaving school but eventually studied physiotherapy at the University of Chichester in the late 90s. His canny plan was to join the growing armada of backroom bods in professional sport. He ended up instead working at Lloyds in Haywards Heath, learning the rudiments of computer programming language VBA. After a spell as a pizza delivery man (Favourite Pizza on Ann Street!), he snaffled a well-paid position at Shell in London, working as tech support to the trade floor.

“My first day I walked onto the trade floor and there was paper everywhere and people shouting down phones,” he recalls, “I was fantastically sack-able at first, but after six months I started to relax. The traders themselves were like massive children, as soon as you’d fixed a problem they’d just push you out of the way.”

Dealing with them, he says, stood him in good stead for later band ego games at Bar 42. The job was well paid but lacked a social life and he left after five years. Back down south he worked as a field engineer for Tarmac, a job he thoroughly enjoyed, but fallout from the subprime mortgage crisis closed the position. He was back working short-term jobs he disliked. When he saw 42 Marine Parade on the market, he took a loan and dived in.

“We didn’t have a lot of money,” he recalls, “We painted it, put sofas in, but the toilets upstairs we couldn’t do much about. I’d always enjoyed community-based pubs like The Fountain [closed 1997, now Slug and Lettuce], so it was just going to be about that vibe, but it was a lot more difficult than we thought.”

| April March2019 2019| |HERE HERE& &NOW NOW ADVERTISE NOW 01903 686100

“Even though Bar 42 is not a solely a metal venue,” says Mark, “the reason we’re sometimes known as a metal bar was that those were the busiest nights. People even came over from Brighton.”

Thursday nights put on by James Doherty of doom metallers DKH were a case in point, but there was much else happening. It wasn’t always successful – pop-punk band Roam played to one person; the lead singer of US prog-rockers Thank You Scientist refused to perform when he saw the venue – but over the years, despite having a stage made of pallets, acts such as St Albans punks Trash Boat, Portsmouth punk-metallers Seething Akira, prog-poppers Black Peaks, Littlehampton punks GLOO, Worthing altrockers Grenades, and many, many more, helped Bar 42 develop a gritty, vibrant reputation.

AFTER REFURB CREDIT: CLIVE HUTCHINSON

Last year the venue had a complete refurb.

After it, Black Peaks said to Mark, “Well done, mate, you’ve a proper venue now.” For Mark, a gig last November by metal band Monuments, who usually play 500-1000 capacity venues, was validation.

BEFORE REFURB CREDIT: CLIVE HUTCHINSON

Bar 42 opened on April 14 2011, with one of Mark’s friends, Sam Comfrey, performing an acoustic set. The first few months were good but then things slacked off. Whenever the weather was bad, the venue was empty. They started putting on comedy nights, tried salsa evenings, even Ann Summers parties, but times were tight.

Mark’s assistant manager Adam Saryazdi PREACHER CREDIT: ETHAN TOMLINSON started putting on gigs. The first were

by The Crown, his mates. It worked.

Other acts followed: Brighton indie outfit Fickle Friends, Swedish band Red Sleeping Beauty, punks Sak-Less Jack, and local metallers (and Bar 42 perennials) Bleed Again. Of the last of these Mark says, “It was the

loudest night I’ve ever had to endure – 120 decibels in the back room.

There were complaints and we had a decision to make if we were to continue.”

He borrowed another £5000 for soundproofing, and bought the venue’s first in-house PA and sound desk. Local character ‘Noisy’ Nick Halstead (now deceased) built the soundman’s booth and the porch area. As important was Mark’s philosophy. He didn’t want to take the lazy route of pub covers bands; he wanted new talent, local talent, excitement. He persuaded then-rising (now-defunct) Brighton punk rockers Screama Ballerina to play, a key moment, but the venue’s bread’n’butter was metal.

“When they walked in, the drummer said, ‘We can’t play here’,” Mark remembers, “It tested my people management skills.

When they heard the insane thunder of the sound check, when they saw the support bands amid the sweat, smoke and lights, they changed their minds. During their set the vocalist came out, ordered a pint of Guinness, jumped up on the bar and did vocals there while his pint settled. I’d seen them headline a stage at Download and here they were...”

Whether it’s Kev Hough’s punk-ish all-dayer Sundays, Northbrook College band evenings, electronic nights, folk bands, or metal mayhem, Bar 42, with a capacity of 100, now flies the flag as a leading venue.

“I didn’t really know about music, growing up,” Mark admits, “I was proper mainstream. My first gig was Wet Wet Wet at the Brighton Centre! But that’s changed, I’ve become a fan. There are bands that play Bar 42 no-one’s heard of, but that I love. There’s so much fantastic music going on in Worthing now, and people need to get out of their houses and come see it.”

The Time Machine says Amen to that. n

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

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FILM & THEATRE Readers are advised to check event listing info in case of change.

FRONT ROW FILM & THEATRE IT’S APRIL, FOOLS! Get your chocolate fix this Easter with Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971) at the Dome Cinema, or maybe you’ve got a taste for something more comical like the Barnstormers Comedy Club at Ropetackle, Shoreham. Either way, there is plenty to do over the next few weeks!

Make sure to check out our lead article to find out how to get involved in local theatre, and look out for us at Here & Now Live! when we’ll be based at at Colonnade House and on hand to hear your stories about film and theatre in Worthing.

If you have any exciting theatre or cinema events that you would like to share, list them at hereandnowmag.co.uk and we’ll add them here. n Abi Else

THEATRE

Sun 7 Apr

Wed 27 – Sat 30 Mar

The Treason Show 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Spring has sprung and so have the lunatics from The Treason Show! Somehow they’ve been let out again.

Macbeth 7.45pm. The Barn Theatre, Southwick. How those who have unchecked rule and desire for power for its own sake can destroy everyone and everything in their path.

Wed 3 Apr Caroline’s Kitchen 7.30pm.

Connaught Theatre. When the camera turns off, the truth comes out. There is more to spill than the wine!

Sat 6 Apr Seann Walsh: After This One, I’m Going Home 8pm. Assembly Hall.

The famously dishevelled, fiercely idle, millennial comedian takes his live show on the road.

YOU TALK: LINSAY OLIVER SAINTS THEATRE FOUNDER Here & Now spoke to Linsay Oliver, founder of Saints Theatre company, about her latest production The Wonderful World of Dissocia, which you can catch at St Paul’s on 25-27 April.

How would you describe The Wonderful World of Dissocia to potential audiences?

The main character travels to an imaginary and fantastical place called Dissocia which is populated with strange theatrical characters who really appealed to me as a director.

Dissocia represents her disconnection from reality, and that sense of substitution has led to the play previously being described as a sort of Alice In Wonderland done by David Lynch. I doubt you’ve ever seen anything like it, but it’s brilliant! The second act is a different kettle of fish altogether and I don’t want to give too much away, but the entire play is fresh, often hilarious, moving and highly relevant.

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What inspired you to choose a play with a key topic of mental health and dissociative experience?

I chose it for two main reasons: the first is it’s a brilliantly theatrical exploration of a dissociative episode that’s witty, edgy and very humorous, but still manages to provoke a deeper emotional response from the audience.

The second is that in this engaging way, the writing raises some highly relevant questions about the awareness and treatment of mental health issues. Neilson attempts some insight into why someone might choose not to take their prescribed medication, not necessarily to be critical of mental health treatment, but rather to explore how it feels to be ‘treated’. I like this focus of the piece and the centring of the patient experience. n

Tatiana Dean

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Thu 11 Apr Ivo Graham: Motion Sickness 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Join Ivo for a feisty new hour about facing the future, named after his fourth favourite Hot Chip song (and a beaut

by Phoebe Bridgers).

Thu 11 – Sat 13 Apr The Importance of Being Earnest 7.30pm. Lancing Parish Hall. Oscar Wilde classic performed by Lancing Repertory Players.

Fri 12 Apr Elmer The Patchwork Elephant 2pm. Connaught Theatre. Based on the classic children’s book series by David McKee, Elmer the Patchwork Elephant is a celebration of individuality and the power of laughter!

Sat 20 Apr Barnstormers Comedy Club 8.30pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Every month Barnstormers Comedy Club promises, and delivers, a great laughout-loud night out.

Treasure Island 11am. Ropetackle (SHM). Laughter, plenty of adventure and a whole host of pirates are on the horizon – brought to life by our intrepid crew in search of buried treasure!

FILM & THEATRE Sun 21 Apr

Thu 26 Apr – 25 May

Fri 3 May

Tue 2 Apr

Remembering The Movies 7.30pm.

Pavilion Theatre. Strictly’s very own Aljaz and Janette are back on tour with their brand-new show Remembering the Movies.

Shadowlands. Chichester Festival Theatre. Starring Hugh Bonneville. Celebrated writer C.S. Lewis, author of The Chronicles of Narnia, splits his time between an ordered domestic routine at home with his brother, Warnie, and the academic rigour of his dispassionate, all-male Oxford college.

Horrible Histories: Awful Egyptians 10.30am. Pavilion Theatre. Are you ready to rumble with Ramesses the Great? It’s the history of Egypt with the nasty bits left in! Includes postshow Q&A.

Royal Opera House: La Forza Del Destino (12A) 6.15pm. Connaught Cinema. A fatal accident triggers a drama of obsession, vengeance and tragedy. Live broadcast from the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden.

Tue 23 Apr Shakespeare’s Lost Women 8pm.

Connaught Studio. In 50 minutes of funny, intriguing drama, Deirdre Compton reveals more than she means to – including secrets her cold mother thought could remain hidden for ever.

Thu 25 – Sat 27 Apr The Wonderful World of Dissocia 7pm. St Paul’s. Saints Theatre Group present a compelling look at a young woman’s experience of mental health treatment.

Thu 25 Apr Patrick Monahan #Goals! 8pm.

Connaught Studio. We all have life goals, whether it’s to win the lottery or marry up. Make it your goal to come and watch this great comedy show!

His evenings are spent replying to his many correspondents. One stands out: vivid, expressive, New York poet Joy Gresham.

When she arrives in England with her young son, Douglas, everything Lewis believed to be true about life and love is thrown into question. And a relationship begins which will take them both to the extremities of pain and joy.

Sat 4 May Horrible Histories: Terrible Tudors 6.30pm. Pavilion Theatre. Hear the legends and lies about the torturing Tudors. You might even survive the Spanish Armada as it sails into the audience.

Fri 5 Apr Fisherman’s Friends (12A) 8.15pm.

Connaught Cinema. British comedy drama about the rise to fame of a group of fisherman in the music industry.

FILM

Sat 6 Apr

Sun 31 Mar

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (PG) 10am. Dome Cinema. Hiccup’s reign as village chief is tested when dragon and rider both face impossible decisions to save their kind.

Bumblebee (PG) 10am. Dome Cinema. On the run in 1987, Bumblebee the Transformer finds refuge and friendship in a junkyard in a small Californian beach town.

Mon 1 Apr Bohemian Rhapsody (12A) 7pm.

Lancing Luxor Revival Cinema.

Follow Queen, and lead singer Freddie Mercury, on the band’s journey to success.

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The Greatest Showman (PG) 10.15am. Worthing Theatres. This hit musical celebrates the birth of show business with the tale of a visionary who rose from nothing to create a spectacle that became a worldwide sensation.

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FILM & THEATRE

ELMER THE PATCHWORK ELEPHANT

Tue 9 Apr Suspicion (PG) 7.30pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Psychological thriller from Hitchcock about a young heiress who marries a charming man who she suspects is planning to murder her.

Fri 12 April, 2pm, Connaught Theatre

Be yourself, like Elmer!

SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO FIT in to learn that it’s better

to stand out! That’s the message behind Elmer the Patchwork Elephant, and this month the live show arrives in Worthing from 12-13 April at the Connaught. Based on the children’s classic by David McKee, Elmer’s discovery that it’s always best to be yourself, combined with the vibrant colour and cheeky humour of the main character, makes Elmer a great show for children of all ages.

If our article on theatres has inspired you to go more often, you might be interested to hear of a new discount scheme from Worthing Theatres. The Wheelhouse scheme automatically applies a 10% discount whenever you book for three or more productions online in 2019.

Any future shows booked afterwards will benefit from the same discount.

Tickets Worthing Theatres box office, worthingtheatres. co.uk. n

COMPETITION! WIN 2 TICKETS

to Francis Rossi’s revealing talk at the Pavilion Theatre on Thursday 9 May. To enter, answer this question: Francis Rossi is the lead singer of which iconic band?

A) Status Quo B) Guns and Roses C) Fairport Convention To enter, go to hereandnowmag.co.uk. Click on WIN! to give your answer (Ref: Rossi) or post to Here & Now, The Mill Building, 31 Chatsworth Rd, BN11 1LY. One entry p/p. Closes Mon 15 Apr. Winner selected at random and contacted by Tue 16 Apr. Good luck!

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Thu 11 Apr All About Eve (12A) 7pm. Worthing Theatres. The story of Margo Channing. Legend. True star of the theatre. The spotlight is hers, always has been. But now there’s Eve. Her biggest fan.

Sun 14 Apr Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck It Ralph 2 (PG) 10am. Dome Cinema.

Video-game bad guy Ralph and best friend Vanellope von Schweetz leave the comforts of Litwak’s arcade in an attempt to save her game Sugar Rush.

Wed 17 Apr As You Like It (12A) 7pm. Worthing Theatres. When Rosalind is banished, she journeys to a world of exile where barriers are broken down and all can discover their deeper selves.

Thu 18 Apr Monty Python’s Life Of Brian (15) 8.15pm. Returning to cinemas for its 40th anniversary in glorious standard definition and mono-sound!

Isle of Dogs (PG) 2pm. Ropetackle (SHM). When the mayor of Megasaki sends all dogs into quarantine, his twelve-year-old goes there to find out what has happened to his beloved Spots.

Fri 19 Apr Exhibition on Screen: Rembrandt ft. Q&A with Phil Grabsky 7.30pm.

Ropetackle (SHM). This film marks the 350th anniversary of Rembrandt’s death, and explores the major show of the artist’s works.

Followed by a Q&A with executive producer Phil Grabsky.

Sun 21 Apr Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971) (U) 10am. Dome Cinema. This movie brings to the screen the endlessly appetising delights of Roald Dahl’s cherished book.

The King And I: From the London Palladium (12A) 3pm. Connaught Cinema. Set in 1860s Bangkok, the story of the relationship between the King of Siam and Anna, a British schoolteacher.

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Mon 22 Apr Wild Rose (15) 11am. Connaught Cinema. Silver Screen. British drama about a struggling mother who dreams of becoming a country music star.

Thu 25 Apr The Children Act (12) 2pm.

Ropetackle (SHM). As her marriage crumbles, Fiona, an eminent high court judge, is asked to rule on the case of Adam, a brilliant boy who is refusing the blood transfusion that will save his life.

Fri 26 Apr My First Cinema: Messy Goes to Okido 11am. Ropetackle (SHM).

Zam tries out her new navigator, which the friends use to get to Messy’s favourite place in Okido: Socktropolis!

Sat 27 Apr The Lego Movie 2 (U) 10.15am.

Connaught Cinema. It’s been five years since everything was awesome and the citizens are facing a huge new threat.

Sun 28 Apr The Fight plus Q&A with Jessica Hynes (15) 3pm. Connaught Cinema.

Determined to ditch the dysfunction of her family and beat her inner demons, Tina puts on her fighting gloves – literally.

Mon 29 Apr Red Joan (15) 11am. Connaught Cinema. Silver Screen. Shocking true-story of Joan Stanley, the KGB’s longest serving British spy.

Tue 30 Apr Faust (12A) 6.45pm. Connaught Cinema. Faust trades his soul with the Devil for youth and power in Gounod’s enthralling opera. Live from the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden.

Tue 7 May An American in Paris: The Musical (12A) 7pm. Connaught Cinema. The hit West End musical on the big screen!

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MUSIC Readers are advised to check event listing info in case of change.

Tue 26 Mar

SPOTLIGHT ON MUSIC

Arthur Catt Jazz Quintet 8.30pm.

The Hare & Hounds. Jazz. £5

THIS MONTH YOU’RE IN FOR A TREAT! On Sat 13 April, 80s soul legend Alexander O’Neal will be bringing his nine-piece band to Assembly Hall. Tickets are £35.50. If R&B is your thing, this is where you need to be.

Into soothing classical mastery?

WSO and Sussex’s first international piano competition winner Arta Arnicane will be performing Grieg’s Piano Concerto at Assembly Hall on Sun 7 April. Tickets cost £19. Truly remarkable.

From Thu 18 to Sun 21 April, Bar Forty Two will be hosting its annual Pangalactic Festival. Looking to be a good weekend, and at just £5 for a wristband you can’t go wrong.

Have a good month! n

Oscar Simpson

Worthing Original Music

Wed 27 Mar Steve Harley Acoustic Trio 6.45pm.

Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion.

The original Cockney Rebel goes acoustic. £48.15 Jazz Café w/Jo Fooks 8pm. Pavilion Café Bar. Jazz. £9

Thu 28 Mar

Kristin Hersh 7.30pm. St Paul’s.

Rock. £20 Lisa Lo & the Blind Mice 8pm.

Libertine. R&B/Soul. FREE Raw Deal 8.30pm. Hare & Hounds.

Blues. FREE Richard Durrant 7.30pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Folk. £16

Fri 5 Apr

Ian Siegal 7pm. Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion. Classic Rock/ Blues. £22 Fisherman’s Friends 7.30pm.

Pavilion. Sea Shanties/Folk. £20.50 Tonight Matthew: Labour Party Fundraiser 8pm. Coast. Rock. £8.80 Sarah Jane Morris & Antonio Forcione 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM).

Jazz. £20 The Entire History of Drum & Bass In One Night 8pm. Coast.

Drum & Bass. £4.40

Reggae All-Dayer 2pm-2am.

Cellar Arts Club.

Reggae fundraiser for Cellar Arts Club. £4

Inappropriate Hand Clap 7pm.

Coast. DJ. FREE

Thu 4 Apr

Paul Lamb and the King Snakes 7pm. Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion. Blues. £17.60

Sat 30 Mar

Derelict Dream w/support from Tales of Autumn and Kicking Graves 6pm. Bar Forty Two. Metal. FREE

Gene Pool w/support My Pet Shark and Outpost 3-8pm. Bar Forty Two. Experimental/Post-Punk. FREE AMPlify Friday Live 2 w/40 Shillings On the Drum & Pascale 5-10pm.

Punk Rock/R&B/Indie. View Café Bar. Aynsley Lister 6.45-10.30pm.

Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion.

Blues-Based Rock. £23 Hazel O’Connor 8pm. Ropetackle.

80s. £20

Sat 6 Apr The Cheer Up Mollys 7.30pm.

John Selden. Fundraiser for WADARS. Folk/Acoustic/Americana. thecheerupmollys.co.uk The Solid Silver 60s Show 7.30pm.

Pavilion. 60s. £27.50 The Vibrators 8pm. Bar Forty Two. Punk Rock. £11 2 Turntables & A Microphone 8pm.

Bar Next Door. Hip Hop/Spoken Word. FREE The Korgis w/James Warren 8pm.

Ropetackle (SHM). 80s Pop. £18 The Absolute Flakes 8.30pm. Hare & Hounds. Blues. FREE Wonky Vinyl Club 9pm. Cow & Oak. Vinyl-only DJ night with funk, soul, psyche, indie, house and so much more.

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MUSIC Sun 7 Apr

Sat 13 Apr

WSO Grieg Piano Concerto 2.45pm.

Assembly Hall. Classical. £19

Minimo 7pm-1am. St Paul’s.

Minimal/House/Techno. £7 skiddle

Pete Fij 7.30-midnight. Cellar Arts Club. Rare solo show as Pete looks back on 25+ years of making music.

Members £5 /non-members £7 wegottickets

Ingested w/support from Abhorrent Decimation, Enslavement and Woe Betide 7pm. Bar Forty Two. Metal. £16.50

Open Mic Sunday Session 8-10pm.

Cafalatte. Live music. FREE

Sunny Side Up 7pm-2am. Castle Goring. Underground Dance. £15 skiddle Soul Stew 7.30pmmidnight. Cellar Arts Club.

You gotta get up to get down.

Alexander O’Neal 7.30pm. Assembly Hall.

80s Soul/R&B. £35.50 Charity Concert w/Aled Jones 7.30pm. Pavilion. £25

Tue 9 Apr Collabro 7pm. Pavilion. Musical Theatre. £21.50

Wed 10 Apr Carcer City w/support from Last Hounds, Sonnet of the Damned and Anodyne 7pm. Bar Forty Two. Metalcore. £6 Blue Rose Code 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Celtic Soul. £14

Fri 12 Apr Benjamin Francis 7pm. St Paul’s. £15 Quiet Night Out 7pm. Artisan (SHM). Live music from local bands including Niches and Monatona Ray. Charity Concert 7.30pm. Findon Valley Church. Choir. FREE Jackie Oates 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Folk. £15 Charlie Harper w/support 8pm. Bar Forty Two. Punk Rock. £5 The Stash 8pm-midnight. Cellar Arts Club. Join DJ Alex Borg on an eclectic vinyl voyage through the 1960s. Guests £2/students £1/ members FREE Tulka Trio 9pm. Libertine. Jazz/Hip Hop.

The Jukebox Junkies 8.30pm. Hare & Hounds.

Blues. FREE

Fri 3 May

The Dumb Waiters 8.30pm. Hare & Hounds. Blues. FREE

Flook 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM). Folk. £16

Sun 21 Apr

Sat 4 May

Tangent 2pm. The Lido. Pub Rock.

Drusila w/support from Loathsome Guts, Cool Trees, Doctor Gonzo, Bad Billy Brad and Across the Sea 6pm. Bar Forty Two. Electronica/ Indie Rock £5

Thu 18 - Sun 21 Apr Pangalactic Festival 1pm. Bad Billy Band playing along with many good bands throughout the weekend. Bar Forty Two.

Wed 24 Apr Jazz Café w/Jacqui Hicks 8pm.

Pavilion Café Bar. Jazz. £9

Sun 14 Apr

Fri 26 Apr

Kevin Morgan 2.30pm. Assembly Hall. Hear the magnificent sounds of the Wurlitzer Theatre Pipe Organ. £12

Shemekia Copeland 7-10pm.

Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion.

Unmissable gig from one of the greatest living blues singers. £23

Elliot Falla & The Blue Valentines w/support from Lauren O’Mahony, Dan Shepherd & more 3-8pm. Cellar Arts Club. Dark Blues.

This is Pop 8pm. Coast. 80s Club Night. £4 wegottickets

Thu 18 Apr

Caspar Gomez’ 16 Hour Technicolour Dream 10am-2am.

Cellar Arts Club. Sponsored 16 hour DJ set by Caspar Gomez that will include the club nights Synthesize Me and FREEDOM, as well as his Top 100 tunes. Fundraiser for Cellar Arts Club.

Mei w/support from Lisa Lo and Stone Lane 7.45pm. Bar Forty Two. Singer/Songwriter. £5

Fri 19 Apr Bleed Again w/ support from Seething Akira, As Flames Rise, Nausicaa, Atronach and Anodyne 6pm. Bar Forty Two. Metal. £5 Back to the 80s 7.30-midnight. St Paul’s. Featuring DJ Mr Steeps and live band The Receptionists playing classic 80s tunes. £3 lineupnow

Sat 20 Apr The Glamour Club Easter Bonnet Ball 12pm. Ferring Village Hall. £10 Gloo w/support from The Alchomy, Aren Drift, Ariandelle, Dead Letter and Dead Red Lips 6pm. Bar Forty Two. Punk Rock. £5 Mud Morganfield 6.45-10pm.

Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion.

Son of Muddy Waters brings the Chicago blues to Worthing. £23

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From The Jam: All Mod Cons + The Truth 7pm. Assembly Hall. Former members play the band’s third album for its 40th anniversary. £25 seetickets

Sat 27 Apr

Ian McNabb 7pm. Bar Forty Two. Icicle Works front man performs his first ever Worthing gig. £14 from Train of Thought/Bar Forty Two/ ticketweb Charlie Landsborough 7.30pm.

Connaught. Country. £23.50 The Black Cadillac 8.30pm. Hare & Hounds. Blues. FREE

Sun 28 Apr Ian & Mike’s Anything Goes Jam 3-6pm. Park View Pub. Open mic comedy, dance, poems, music and songs. Material must be family friendly.

Animals Farewell 7.30pm. Assembly Hall. Farewell show to The Animals & Friends, also featuring The Troggs and The Fortunes. Rhythm & Blues. £30.50

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Ashestoangels w/support from Out Cold, Melwood and Rcklss 7pm. Bar Forty Two. Horror Punk. £6.60

Stacey Kent 8pm. Ropetackle (SHM).

Jazz. £27.50

Sun 5 May Worthing Surf Music Festival II 2pm. Bar Forty Two. Surf Rock.

WSO Scheherazade 2.45pm.

Assembly Hall. Featuring award winning pianist Yi-Yang Chen.

Classical Piano. £19

ONGOING DJs Coast. Thu-Sun Jazz 8.30pm. The Hare & Hounds.

Tue Open Mic w/Bustin’ A Groove 8pm.

Thomas A Becket. E/other Tue Secret Shore Shanty Singers 7.30pm. Ye Olde House at Home.

Last Tue/month Dixie Blues 8pm. Charles Dickens.

1st & 3rd Tue/month South Downs Folk Singers 7:30pm.

Ye Old House at Home. 1st Wed/ month Open Stage 8pm. Bar Next Door.

Wed Open Mic w/Karl 8.30pm. Piston Broke (SHM). Wed Jazz 8pm. Charles Dickens. E/other Wed Beach House Music Club w/guests 8pm. 1st Thu/month Karaoke 9pm. The Warwick. Thu Karaoke 8pm. Charles Dickens. Thu Open Mic w/Bustin’ A Groove 8pm.

Crown & Anchor (SHM). Thu Madi Laine w/Chris Simmons 8pm.

Beach House. Last Sun/month South Coast Blues Jam 2pm. Charles Dickens. 3rd & 4th Sun/month

3 Choirs

An Evening of Gospel & Soul Sunday 22 June 7.30pm St Paul’s 3 Choirs – An Evening of Gospel & Soul returns to Worthing in June for the third year running, this year with renowned choral director and vocal coach Mark De-Lisser as guest director.

FAMED FOR ARRANGING STAND BY ME for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, as well as his work on shows such as BBC’s The Voice and All Together Now, Mark brings passion and energy to any performance.

When you arranged Stand by Me for the royal wedding and then performed it with the Kingdom Choir, did you and the other choir members realise the impact you would have?

We had no idea how massive the song would be. It only dawned on me around 24 hours after the performance when my phone was off the hook with Tweets etc!

Who or what inspired you to get involved in the music industry?

Growing up in church gives you a love and understanding of music and being creative. When I found out that I could make a living doing this, I took the opportunity to make that happen.

We feel honoured to have you back again as part of 3 Choirs project. What made you say yes to Worthing?

We had such an incredible time last year and my love for community choirs only continues to grow. I will always give my time to inspire, nurture and develop choirs in the community. n

COMPETITION TIME! Win two complimentary tickets & 2 drinks* for

3 Choirs

An Evening of Gospel & Soul by answering this question:

Who conducted the Kingdom Choir at the royal wedding of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle on 19 May 2018?

To enter, go to hereandnowmag.co.uk. Click on WIN! to give your answer (ref: 3 Choirs) or post to Here & Now, The Mill Building, 31 Chatsworth Rd, BN11 1LY. One entry p/p. Closes Tue 30 Apr. Winner picked at random and contacted by Thu 2 May. Good luck!

3 Choirs – An Evening of Gospel & Soul returns to Worthing on Saturday 22 June. Doors 7.30pm. Tickets lineupnow.com Fancy having a go at singing? 3 Choirs hopes to persuade Mark to facilitate a beginner’s workshop. Keep an eye on brightsoul. co.uk or Facebook @3Choirs. *Glass of wine, beer or soft drink of your choice.

Available only on 22 June 2019. Non-transferable.

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GENERAL LISTINGS Readers are advised to check event listing info in case of change.

Tue 26 – Sun 31 Mar Gill Dixon: The Landscape of Stitch Colonnade House. Explore the potential of embroidery.

Wed 27 Mar Energy Shop 10am. St Paul’s.

Impartial advice to the local community, including a tariff comparison and switching service, and eligibility check for further assistance. FREE Trustee Open Evening 6.30pm.

Guild Care Caer Gwent.

Tales from The Forest 7.30pm.

Cellar Arts Club. Worthing Storytellers. £5/mem £3

Thu 28 Mar Spiritual Café 7-10pm. Maybridge Keystone Centre. Entry FREE Durrington Country Market 9.30am. St Symphorian’s Church.

What If…? 6-9pm. Connaught Theatre. Informal, inclusive explorations of key issues in business, culture, community and education. Guest speakers, debate, drinks and introductions. Book thepossibilityclub.org

Want to promote an event here or online?

List it FREE! Go to hereandnow mag.co.uk or email info@hereand nowmag.co.uk Please mention Here & Now when booking or attending events.

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Traditional Pub Games Evening 7pm. Methodist Church Hall. Come along to enjoy some traditional pub games. FREE Fundraising Fashion Show 7pm. St Paul’s. In aid of Hft Sussex. From £5 eventbrite The Speakeasy Conversation Club 7.30pm. Cellar Arts Club. Three speakers, three topics. £4/£2 wegottickets BAME Community Wellbeing Meeting 11am-1pm. The Elim Centre, Broadwater. Confirm by email to bameforum3@gmail.com

Fri 29 Mar Mother’s Day ‘Mum and Me’ Workshop 6.30pm. Porto’s Flowers, Worthing. Create your own blooming masterpiece. Book eventbrite Evening with Danny Abrahams 6.30-8.30pm. Room With A View Gallery. Artist collection showcase.

Folk In Adur and Friends 7.30pm2am. Cellar Arts Club. Mem FREE / £2

Sat 30 Mar Shoreham Artisan Market 9am.

East Street, Shoreham.

Spring Fayre Time tbc. Thomas à Becket Infants. Book a stall office@ tabinfant.org.uk Record Fair 10am-3pm. St Paul’s.

Featuring stalls of vinyl, CDs and music memorabilia.

TTW Repair Cafe 10am. Friends of Quaker House. Info + book worthingrepaircafe.org.

Allergy Support Group 2-4pm.

Broadwater Parish Rooms. Book 01252 546100.

Silent Disco 8-10.30pm. Worthing Leisure Centre. Supporting disability-focused activities. Book 01903 905050. £12 Reggae All-Dayer 2pm-2am. Cellar Arts Club. Fundraising Event. Info cellarartsclub.com. £3

Sat 30 – Sun 31 Mar Creative Art Therapy Weekend 10.30am. Sakala Steyning.

Weekend tickets £60.

Sun 31 Mar Clocks go forwards! Don’t forget!

Fun with Mum Party 2.30pm.

Heene Community Centre.

Celebrate Mother’s Day with craft, music, games, dancing and bouncy fun. Tickets £7

Mon 1 Apr My Sistine Chapel Ceiling Reproduction English Martyrs Church, Goring. Opening day for visitors in 2019.

Tue 2 Apr Autism Awareness Day 9am.

Charmandean Centre. 40 stands, workshops and clinics. Contact lindsey@parentsforautism.org.uk. £6.45 inc lunch eventbrite Sessions 4.30-6.30pm. Ridiculously Cool Music Studios. Live sound, production and rap workshops for 17-25 year olds. FREE

Sat 6 Apr Great Little Farmers’ Market 9am.

Goring. Come and choose from a selection of local produce.

Worthing Samaritans Volunteer Open Day 10am. Worthing Samaritans, 2 Lennox Road.

Worthing Custom Scooter Show 12pm. Goring Conservative Club. In aid of Ferring Country Centre. Info 07895 461787. Tickets £10/£5 Heene Cemetery Open Day and Tour 2-5pm. FREE

Sun 7 Apr Train Rides Worthing Model Engineers 2-5pm. Field Place Manor House. 50p per ride.

High Salvington Windmill Open Afternoon 2-5pm. High Salvington Windmill.

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Artists Networking Breakfast Meeting 9am. Brunswick and Thorn. FREE Alternative Wedding Fair (QQW) 12—4pm. Clapham and Patching Village Hall. Entry FREE Mind Body Spirit Fayre 10.30am.

Charmandean Centre. Entry FREE

Mon 8 Apr Action For Happiness 7pm. Coast.

A national movement to build a happier and more caring society.

FREE

Tue 9 Apr Worthing General Auctions 6.30pm. The Barn, English Martyrs.

Goring. Entry £1

Wed 10 Apr Youth Activities Event 10am-1pm.

Pond Lane Durrington. Open to all young people to gain skills and confidence. Contact Beth 07764 605699. FREE

Thu 11 Apr Self-Publishing Panel 7.30pm.

Goring Methodist Church. West Sussex Writers talk on the ins and outs of self-publishing, with a panel of three successful authors. £3-5

Sat 13 Apr Plastic Free Worthing Launch! 2-4pm. Town Hall. Stands, films, talks and awards ceremony. Entry FREE This inspiring local initiative in association with Surfers Against Sewage launches on Saturday 13 April at the Gordon Rooms from 2-4pm, with stalls, speakers and opportunities to get involved and help make Worthing a plastic free town. If you can’t make it on the day, head down to their next beach clean and keep an eye on Facebook @plasticfreeworthing

EXTREME AMPHIBIRUN

Ready for a Challenge Like No Other?

22 & 23 June: Action Packed Event Village at Beach House Grounds including a climbing wall, bar, street food and obstacle challenges.

EXTREME AMPHIBIRUN BRINGS YOU 10KM of challenging obstacles set along Worthing’s beautiful seafront to test your strength, stamina and mental grit. Competitors will face 25 of the largest structures in UK obstacle racing, with a mixture of ninja warrior rig-styled apparatus including monkey bars, ring swingers and net climbs, all set on the punishing surface of sand. All competitors can celebrate their participation with a finishers t-shirt, medal and of course, bragging rights.

Founder and director Adam Turner says, “The Extreme

Amphibirun event is a great addition to Worthing’s racing calendar and aims to drive profits for local businesses during the event as well as promising to support local charities.”

Sound good? Entry is open for 22 and 23 June at amphibirun.co.uk at £54 + fees, with a discount for teams.

Here & Now Magazine Special – get 20% discount using code HEREANDNOW20 Want to get involved without taking part? Extreme Amphibirun would love to hear from volunteers. You’ll receive a t-shirt, free race entry, food voucher and more. Register amphibirun.co.uk.

Worthing… the countdown begins. n Prices are subject to change. For more info visit amphibirun.co.uk or contact enquiries@amphibirun.co.uk

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

37

FAMILY

Easter Fun for Big Kids (and Small) Tue 2 Apr

Tue 9 Apr

Arundel Castle 10am-5pm.

Re-opens for the 2019 season Tue-Sun inclusive.

REwrite Easter holiday family workshop 10.30am/11am/11.30am. Lancing Library. Turn old letters, books and magazines into collages of pictures, poems and stories. Ages 4 and up. Adult supervision required.

Register weareoverthemoon.org FREE

Sat 6-Mon 22 Apr Giant Duck Hunt Arundel WWT Find all 16 giant ducks hiding all over the wetlands reserve to receive a small treat. Crafts, pond-dipping and plenty of other activities.

Sat 6 Apr Printmaking 10.30am. Worthing Museum & Art Gallery. Explore printmaking with artist Gary Goodman. Ages 14+. £15 worthingmuseum.co.uk

Sun 7 Apr Vintage Car Show 10am.

Amberley Museum. Cars from pre-1956 in restored and original condition.

Victorian Shellwork 10.30am.

Worthing Museum & Art Gallery.

Have a go at making a shellencrusted object. Ages 7-12 years. £5 worthingmuseum.co.uk

Tue 9 Apr-Thu 11 Apr Hip Hop Till You Drop 9am start.

Thomas A Becket Infants. Three days of masterclasses for 6-18 year olds run by Wannadoo Street Dance. £25 day ticket/£60 course

High Salvington Windmill 2.30-5pm. Working 18th century windmill opens for the 2019 season.

Busy Bee Family Fun Day 11am-3.30pm. Worthing Town Centre. We Are Food Pioneers and Worthing Honey Collective will be on Montague Square on Easter Monday to celebrate the humble bee in Worthing. They will showcase the Worthing Honey Collective programme with opportunities to get involved in community beekeeping and activities for children including a waggle dance, seed bomb making, creating honeycomb designs and seeds for sale.

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Elmer the Patchwork Elephant Live 2pm. Connaught Theatre. £15/13.50 worthingtheatres.co.uk

Sat 13 Apr Easter Train Party 10.30am2.15pm. East Worthing Community Centre.

Four 1-hour sessions. Book through Facebook @trainpartyfun. £6 morning/£5 afternoon Elmer the Patchwork Elephant Live 11.30am/2pm.

Connaught Theatre. £15/13.50 worthingtheatres.co.uk

Tue 16 Apr Mini Medics 10am/1.30pm.

Heene Community Centre. First aid workshop for children. £25 eventbrite Origami Workshop 10.30am. Worthing Museum & Art Gallery.

Try your hand at paper folding. Ages 7-12 years with adult supervision for under-eights. £5 worthingmuseum.co.uk

Thu 11 Apr Victorian Scrapbooking 10.30am.

Worthing Museum & Art Gallery.

Try out making your own card using scrapbooking. 7-12 years. £5 worthingmuseum.co.uk

Fri 12 Apr REwrite Easter Holiday Family Workshop 10.30am/11am/11.30am.

Shoreham Library. Turn old letters, books and magazines into collages of pictures, poems and stories. Ages 4 and up. Adult supervision required. Register weareoverthemoon.org FREE

Wed 17 Apr

Readers are advised to check event listing info in case of change.

receiving an Easter egg. Book tinytinkerssoftplay.co.uk Printmaking 10.30am. Worthing Museum & Art Gallery. Explore printmaking with artist Gary Goodman. Ages 14+. £15 worthinguseum.co.uk

Alice in Wonderland Easter Fun Day 10.30am/2.30pm. Activus.

Three hours of circus skills with Poi Passion Circus plus a show, Alice in Wonderland characters, soft play and a tea party. Other dates through April. £9.50 wegottickets. com A.Star’s Eggstravagant Princess Easter Egg Hunt 1-2.30pm. Beach House Park. Join Rapunzel and Ariel for an egg hunt plus games and fun. £10 astarparties.co.uk

Sun 21 Apr Easter Sunday Funday 11am4pm. Shoreham Fort. Family day out with games, crafts, cakes and plenty of fun!

REwrite Easter Holiday Family Workshop 10.30am/11am/11.30am.

Southwick Library. Turn old letters, books and magazines into collages of pictures, poems and stories. Ages 4 and up. Adult supervision required. Register weareoverthemoon.org FREE

Tue 23 Apr

Sat 20 Apr

Sun 28 Apr

Easter Fun Soft Play 10am-3pm.

St Mary’s, Goring. Hosted by Tiny Tinkers. Come and meet Peter Rabbit, enjoy the bouncy castle and soft play with each child

Bluebell Trail Run 9.30am start.

The Fox, Patching. 10k or 10 mile options with BBQ, drinks, food, children’s play area and face painting.

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Easter Egg Hunt Sompting Big Local 1-5pm. Over the Easter weekend look out for SBL coloured eggs around Sompting. These can be exchanged for a chocolate egg on Tuesday 23 April in the Sompting Big Local Hub between 1-3pm. One egg per child.

OUR PICK OF THE MONTH

Funky Feet & Fresh Beats Get the kids body-popping with Wannado’s energetic three-day streetdance workshops from 9-11 April. Each day, two leading dance professionals will run through skills and moves such as breakin, circus, acro, hiphop and lockin.

TUTORS INCLUDE CHOREOGRAPHER ZAC SMITH fresh from his appearance at the BRITS with Hugh Jackman and as lead dancer in Mary Poppins Returns, and UK hip hop freestyle champion and three-time world champion SuperMalcolm.

Founder Kerry Smith says, “We’re so excited by our incredible line-up, and by having street dance experts teach these workshops we hope to inspire our students to experiment with different styles, express themselves and outshine their own expectations.”

Classes will run from 9am-12pm with a halfhour session at 12:30 for students to showcase their new street styles to friends and family.

Ages 6-18 years. Book onto individual days or save by booking onto all three days at kerry@ wannadostreetdance.com. n

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

39

GENERAL LISTINGS Craft and Gift Market 9am-4pm.

Guildbourne Centre.

Shoreham Farmers’ Market 9am. East Street.

Boot Sale 8am. Broadwater Green. In aid of BW Cricket Club.

Sun 14 Apr Pedal Along The Prom 10.30am.

Opposite Marine Gardens. Enjoy a fun day out for the whole family filled with bike riding, activities, and food. £4-6 The Fairy Tale Fair 10.30am-4pm.

Charmandean Centre. Easter craft and design fair. Suggested donation.

Craft and Gift Market and Fair 11am3pm. Field Place.

Fri 19 Apr

Fri 26 Apr

ONGOING

Good Friday – Messiah 7pm. Assembly Hall. Tickets Worthing Theatre £14

All Aboard Games Night 7-10pm View Cafe Bar. Adults £1/under-13s FREE

Sat 20 Apr

Sat 27 Apr

Rapture – 80s Night 7.30-midnight.

Cellar Arts Club. £2/mem FREE

TTW Repair Cafe 10am-12.15pm.

Friends Quaker Meeting House.

Memory of Clothes Worthing Museum.

An exhibition of sculptural work and a podcast documenting research by artist Helen Barff and writer Suzanne Joinson.

Runs until 8 June

The Glamour Club Easter Ball 12-3pm.

Ferring Village Hall. Jay Sings Swing will be singing favourite songs from the 40s to 60s. £10

Craft and Gift Market 9am.

Guildbourne Centre.

Poetry Workshop 2-4pm. Cellar Arts Club. Book camerongac@gmail.com £2/mem FREE Busy Bee Family Fun Day Honey Collective 11am-3.30. Worthing Town Centre.

Sompting Big Local AGM 10am-noon.

Sir Robert Woodard Academy.

Sun 28 Apr Angmering 10-mile Bluebell Trail Run 10am-1pm. From the Fox in Patcham.

Book rawenergypursuits.co.uk

Northern Soul Night 7.30pm-midnight.

Palatine Park. Door £6

UK Southern Book Show 10am-3pm.

Field Place. Meet 50+ authors! Book eventbrite

Sun 21 Apr

Sat 4 – Mon 6 May

Salvington Windmill Open Afternoon 2-5pm. High Salvington Windmill.

LGBTQ Meet-Up 2-5pm. Cellar Arts Club.

Street Food & Craft Beer Festival 10am. Steyne Gardens. International street foods and bars offering the best of ales, ciders, craft lagers, gins and plenty of fizz.

Tue 23 Apr

Sun 5 May

AFX Endurance Championship 6.30pm. English Martyrs Church. All ages and abilities welcome to take part. £2-16

Recycling Pop-Up 8.30am. Town Hall.

In aid of Worthing Community Chest.

FREE

The 8:01 Quiz Night (April Showers) 7.30pm-midnight. Cellar Arts Club. £1pp

Recycling Pop-Up 8.30am. Town Hall.

In aid of Worthing Community Chest.

FREE

Three Forts Challenge Marathon 10am-4pm. Hill Barn. A glorious 27.2-mile marathon across the three iron age forts on the South Downs.

Organised by local Rotary Clubs and volunteers in aid of Ferring Country Centre.

Elliot Falla and the Blue Valentines plus support. 3-8pm Cellar Arts Club. £2/mem FREE

Wed 17 – Sat 20 Apr Worthing Scout & Guide Gang Show 5pm. Pavilion. Features a live show band with songs, dance and bags of comedy suitable for all the family.

Wed 17 Apr

Thu 18 Apr The Speakeasy Conversation Club 7.30-11.30pm. Cellar Arts Club. wegottickets £4/£2 Heretics 2019 6-9pm. Heritage Parts Centre (SHM). VW & Porsche enthusiast meet with food, drinks and DJs. FREE

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Thu 25 Apr

Worthing Storytellers 7.30-11.30pm.

Cellar Arts Club. £5/£3

Thu 25 – 28 Apr Shakespeare Celebration: Shoreham Wordfest Various times & venues. A feast of events including talks, films, a performance of Macbeth and an Elizabethan ceilidh to celebrate the Bard’s birthday. shorehamwordfest. com

Tue 7 May Antique, Arts & Collectors Club 7.30pm. Worthing Library. This month’s speaker is Bex Simon, artist/ blacksmith, as featured on BBC’s Money for Nothing.

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Run The One Various times & places.

This group isn’t about how fast or how far you can go. The aim is to get active, make friends, and most of all have a lot of fun while training to run, jog or walk one mile. Info independentage.org Pub Quiz 7.30pm. Cow & Oak. Cash prizes! E/Wed Pub Quiz 8.30pm. The North Star Pub. Chance to win £100! E/Thu Pub Quiz 8pm. John Seldon. E/2nd and 4th Sun Quiz Night 8.30pm. Beach House.

Fundraising for Superstar Arts. E/Tue The Big Quiz 8pm. Hare and Hounds.

E/Wed All-Aboard Games Night 7pm. View Café. E/last Fri

Worthing Community Chest are raising funds from recycling.

Funds raised are used to provide grants to local community groups.

See main advert on P5 of this issue for what items you can drop at any of the following pop up collection points.

Tue 23 Apr, 8.30am-6.30pm.

Worthing Town Hall.

Thu 25 Apr, 8am-2pm. Worthing Leisure Centre, Shaftesbury Ave. Fri 10 May, 12-2pm. Colonnade House, Warwick St. Sat 11 May, 10am-3pm Colonnade House, Warwick St.

-

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So Worthing has its own Banksy does it?

YOGIFLOW MINDFUL LOVING YOGA

WORTHING HAS ITS OWN politically-charged vandal, spray painting wry satirical works of art on public walls to stick it to the ‘establishment’?

Wednesday’s 6.30pm in central Worthing.

With guidance, find your own way into Yoga. Unwind, release and simply be.

Beginners welcome.

Individual consultations also available.

Part of it’s true. Spray painted figures have been appearing on the sides of businesses in Worthing, nine of them in total.

There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but take a closer look at who the figures are. Yes, they are all famous people with some connection to Worthing. But there’s Billy Idol, who didn’t come here through any choice of his own, he was here for school. There’s Oscar Wilde, who stuck it out for a two-month holiday. There’s Royal Blood, who almost immediately claimed they were from Brighton as soon as they became big. A great group of people, for sure, but people who seem quick to distance themselves from Worthing. What is my point, I hear you ask (maybe because you don’t understand how reading an article works). My point is this.

Julie 07506 143762 | email yogiflow@icloud.com | facebook.com/YogiFlowYoga

Perhaps more of the figures could be like the Horace painting, local legends. People who lived in and loved Worthing their whole lives. People who made it their home, then made it their own. As an example, I would have loved to have seen Nick, aka Noisy, an absolute local hero who sadly passed away a few years ago. Who wouldn’t have been delighted to see his long hair, and bescarfed neck, perhaps bending over to whisper in your ear, ready to slap you on the back.

I’m not saying change the figures currently painted, but how about also creating some form of spray paint figure graveyard to commemorate these local legends? As always, I just want us to be more proud of what we have here, not those who have gone on to claim they were from Brighton, or ‘Near Brighton’. Let’s be proud of the people that were proud to be here.

Plus I want to be commemorated somewhere when I die, and I think this would do the job nicely. (Note to self: do not leave this bit in, lest people consider you big headed enough to consider yourself a local legend). n Joe Bunn

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CROSSWORD 2D

1A/ 1D

3D

4D

2A 3A/ 5D 4A/ 6D

5A

6D

6A 7D

7A

8D

8A

10A

10D

9D

9A

11A/ 11D

12D 12A

13A

13D

14A

Crossword with thanks to Hazel

Win a £30 Hamper!

Prize Hamper donated by Kingsley Coffee, a family run coffee shop with a craft studio and gift shop. It’s open every day and has free parking. Details at kingsleycoffee.co.uk Kingsley Coffee, 7 Sea Lane, Ferring BN12 5JP

© Jimmy Pearson

February’s Winner was Carole. Enjoy the hamper!

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| April 2019 | HERE & NOW ADVERTISE NOW 01903 686100

ACROSS 1. Mrs Cameron, or a TV witch (8) 2. A type of sweet flower, or a type of thick jacket (3) 3. Bright green rock or marsh plant, crisp and salty,

nice with fish (8) 4. Like some girls in a noughties tv show (4) 5. Utterly delicious (4) 6. Vietnamese noodle soup (3) 7. Old financial centre of Venice, and an adjoining bridge (6) 8. Biblical husband, or auction item (3) 9. Annoy (4) 10. Recently overturned prince (6) 11. Pleasant spot in the desert, or Gallagher boys (5) 12. An unlikely occurrence (7) 13. Search thoroughly! Leave _ _ /_ _ _ _ _ unturned! (2,5) 14. Moreish snack, particularly Cornish (5) DOWN 1. Gemstone, usually blue, often used in watches (8) 2. All that I need, apart from loving you (3) 3. Clothing, sometimes American (7) 4. Dark material, useful for roads, boats, and roofs,

but not lungs (3) 5. St Andrew’s cross (7) 6. Prefix indicating single, and part of a popular

board game title (4) 7. An object to ward off evil or bring good fortune (8) 8. Tropical forest animal with a long nose (5) 9. The very end, or the state of a kid’s bedroom (3) 10. Inflatable beach beds (5) 11. Indicating eight – sides, legs, babies (4) 12. Fine particles in river water, leading to clogging (4) 13. Speaker (3) MARCH ANSWERS Across: 1. ESTIMATE 2. SHED 3. FARTHER 4. MOD 5.BRIDESMAIDS 6. SHIRE 7. RAFA 8. RUT 9. ROSS 10. EASTWARD 11. OFF 12. DOOR CHIME 13. ABLE Down: 1. SO FAR 2. THERMOS 3. HAMSTERS 4. DIDO 5.BEDSTEAD 6. DISASTER 7. HARD 8. AWASH 9. TOFFEE 10. ORB 11. OC 12. IT March Anagram Answer: BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH

COMPETITION

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HERE & NOW | April 2019 |

45

THE WORTHING BYPASS

This Column Will Not Change Your Look “What do you want me to do with your balls?”

ILLUSTRATION: JOE BUNN

THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. I stare at the phone as if the device itself has offended my precocious sensibilities.

Then I remember who’s on the other end. “Balls?” My snooker balls as it turns out, from when I was ten. Which is a relief.

The birth mother (I don’t have another but I can but dream) is doing the thrice-decade attempt at a clear-out. She always fails, as we puckish offspring pile on the emotional baggage. Those balls were so special. My first and favourite snooker table. What if I decide to buy myself another four-foot table and recreate countless hours of fun whilst listening with unbridled glee as the rest of the family tear each other to shreds in the daily teatime pantomime routine?

WHAT IF I REGRESS TO MY TEN-YEAROLD SELF? YOU DO, INTERRUPTS THE BELOVED HACKETTE IN THE BACKGROUND, EVERY TIME I ASK YOU TO DO THE DISHES.

What’s more, what if I regress to my ten-year-old self? You do, interrupts the Beloved Hackette in the background, every time I ask you to do the dishes. That’s not fair, I blurt out with the huffiness of a taut teenager in full-on meltdown mode. Besides, stop interrupting, I’m busy tormenting my mother. It’s revenge for my upbringing.

She, it has to be said, gives as good as she gets. “Are you sure you don’t want your

dad’s chest expanders? He’d have wanted you to have them.” Classy piece of emotional blackmail there

mamma. Hats off. The same chest expanders that would clamp my solitary chest hair to elicit excruciating electric shocks of

46

agony every time I mishandled the fiendish contraption. Nor will I forget the time I foolishly stood on the handle and attempted a bicep curl. Needless to say I nearly knocked myself out as it slipped, catapulting the steel missile towards my jaw with the terrifying velocity of a jet-propelled left hook from prime Mike Tyson. “I think he liked me too much to want to decapitate me

mum, but thanks for the thought.”

“Would you like some of his clothes?” she’d asked, hours after

the funeral. I was expecting a hardy winter jacket, a fine pair of hand-stitched leather gloves, or a casual button-down shirt that could never go out of fashion for a seventy-six year old. Instead, she paraded a pair of underpants. “Any good?” I shook my head, walked out and never looked back.

Regrettably, she followed me into the living room and partially redeemed herself by offering up the remnants of his last bottle of Talisker. Families, what can you do?

I am no stone cold clearer-outer-er though. I have tried, but as soon as I empty the closet I find myself bereft of trousers and have to go out and buy another pair. For the Beloved Hackette that makes perfect sense. For a certain type of man, and sadly I am that man, it makes no sense at all. Why buy something new when you can wear the same thing for the rest of your life, and get away with it by decorating your staid appearance with some fancy aftershave that a more discerning relative buys you every Christmas? “He looks like dross but smells like an angel” is the look I’m after. That’s living the dream folks.

So the fundamentalist’s approach to an April total clear-out makes no sense to me. Recycling the crumbling threads of a clearly outdated wardrobe on the other hand is completely sensible; one does not want to be accused of appearing old fashioned after all! I also like the idea of repurposing possessions, like some tatty old beanbag that’s laid dying and featureless in the corner of the attic – trapped in the moribund malaise of a 1970s time warp – suddenly reincarnated as the upholstery to a futuristic La-Z-Boy. Not many people know that Here & Now is primarily focused on recycling and repurposing, subtly conveyed but nonetheless overlooked by the less observant reader in the strapline: ‘stuff that matters in Worthing’. Whilst the Worthing Bypass unashamedly focuses on trying to keep the riff-raff out (spoiler alert: there is no bypass!), one does serve to shine a light for the more discerning reader on the good stuff on the south coast. So it may be worth upending the shed, digging out a dusty relic and traipsing along the next time the Antiques Roadshow hits town, or even better, popping into the repair café to resurrect that fading transistor radio. Then you too can re-live your dreams. n

The Ubiquitous Hack

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