Here & Now Issue 3 | December 2016

LAST CHANCE TO WIN £1000

WIN £1000 FOR CHRISTMAS In association with Worthing Ice Rink - 5

EATING OUT

Food reviews & offers - 28/31

PETER PAN

Panto at the Pavilion- 43

FREE # 3 Dec 16

HERE & NOW | Page 2

HERE & NOW | Page 3

Inside

This month’s stuff that matters in Worthing Hello ho ho Worthing HERE & NOW is published by: HERE & NOW Media Ltd. PO Box 2142 WORTHING BN12 9EF

Tel: 01903 686 100

editorial@hereandnowmag.co.uk advertise@hereandnowmag.co.uk

List ANY EVENT for FREE at: www.hereandnowmag.co.uk

Distribution: 38,000 copies.

30,000 delivered to homes in Worthing.

8,000 copies available free from outlets across the Worthing area.

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Co-Publishers & Directors: Frances Wetherilt Editor & Accounts Manager

This issue, we’re full of family friendly festive fundraisers, goodwill, and fun times. Here & Now has an abundance of Christmas fairs, quizzes and parties, all lined up for when you’re ready to unbox the decorations and find your ho, ho, ho.

For some of us, Christmas can feel like it’s suddenly screeching around the corner; but there’s no need to panic about buying gifts. Book in for lunch at one of Worthing’s fabulous local eateries, check out the quirky independent shopping areas and buy local. We love the idea of receiving a unique gift from one of our many local artists and makers. And if you know anyone who wouldn’t love the memory of a dinner out or a ticket to a gig or show, then just send them to us and we’ll put them straight.

Meanwhile, it can never be too early to say a huge festive thank you to our readers, founding partners, advertisers, and supporters and wish you all a merry Christmas.

Frances & Mike

Mike Cottee

Eating Out Page 28-31

f

Distribution by: Worthing Direct

Business Awards

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Disclaimer: HERE & NOW Media Ltd.

cannot be held responsible for any errors or omissions, or claims made by our contributors or advertisers, and does not endorse companies, products or services that appear in the magazine.

Information was correct at time of going to press.

Readers are advised to check event listing information in case of changes. computing are experts in data and Local Business Features are advertorials.

Clear internet security and have helped numerous HERE & along NOWwith Media Ltd. large and small companies many are proud members of: schools to stay safe against this ever increasing threat.

We pride ourselves on our customer service levels and offer a complete service for all your computer and IT requirements.

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g

And, Christmas would not be Christmas without a panto.

Worthing Theatres Peter Pan promises us a magical show packed full of comedy capers. And if you’re hooked on panto, there’s more, oh yes there is… in the listings.

Commercial & Production Manager

Website by:

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Our services include: b Security g Worthing Life b Disaster recovery Page 7 b IT Project Delivery f b Support levels to suit The Real Boatb VoIP Love of Art? that Rocked b Broadband Page 25 Page 32 b Web Development f g b Software Development b Hardware b Bespoke solutions To advertise in HERE & b Project management

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Superstar Arts Page 10

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Page by Page 5 - Last Chance to Win a Grand 7 - Worthing Life 9 - Why Worthing?

10 - Superstar Arts 13 - Men in Sheds 15 - Style Goes Beyond Size 16 - Christmas Book Reviews 17 - Reaching out, Worthing 19 - Business Awards 22 - Let’s Dance 25 - Love of Art? 27 - Sunny Worthing Awards 29 - Restaurant Review 30 - Foxy Roxy 32 - The Real Boat That Rocked 33 - Oxjam 2016 Review 34 - Want to Make Music 36 - Live Music Listings 39 - The C’ Word 40 - General Listings 42 - Theatre & Cinema Listings 44 - Coffee Time 47 - Worthing Bypass

NOW CALL TODAY - 01903 686 100 option 1

Please Note: HERE & NOW magazine is distributed over a 12 day period.

For this reason our what’s on listings will cover the month of publication and the first week of the following month. For a small new independent start-up, distribution of our massive 38,000 print-run is a logistical challenge. As we grow, we aim to complete distribution in a single week.

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CHANCE TO WIN

HERE & NOW has teamed up with the Worthing Ice Rink to give one lucky reader £1000.

To enter this month, email competition@hereandnowmag.co.uk or send a postcard to PO Box 2142, Worthing BN12 9EF. Ensure you include DECEMBER ENTRY in the subject header, to reach us by Monday 12 December. You must include your email or phone number & postcode.

The competition has been run over three months, this is your last opportunity to win, with the final closing date on Monday 12 December.

ONE entry per person per month. The winner will be selected at random from the three months’ entries and notified by 5pm on Wednesday 14 December 2016.

To qualify to enter: you must be over 18 and resident in the BN11, BN12, BN13, BN14 & BN15 postcodes area and be able to collect your winnings in Worthing, West Sussex on 19 December 2016 at the Worthing Ice Rink. You must be willing to have your name & photograph published in our magazine and our social media.

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HERE & NOW | Page 5

set out in Competition Notices in our magazine, website or social media are the Here & Now Media Ltd (Here & Now) Competition Rules.

Failure to comply within 48 hours of being advised of winning may result in disqualification and selection of an alternate winner.

Employees of Here & Now and their immediate families, persons connected with the competition and their immediate families are not eligible to enter the Competition.

No responsibility for postal entries lost, delayed or damaged.

Here & Now reserves the right to cancel or amend the Competition or the Rules without notice in the event of any actual or anticipated breach of any applicable law or regulation or any other event outside Here & Now’s reasonable control.

Any changes will be posted within these terms and conditions or the Competition Notice.

By entering the Competition, you hereby affirm that all information submitted by you is true, current and complete.

Here & Now reserve the right to disqualify anyone found to be breaking the competition rules. In the event of any dispute regarding the rules, term and conditions, conduct, results and all other matters relating to a Competition, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

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HERE & NOW | Page 7

Worthing Life

Private members’ club in Worthing: Where everybody does not need to know your name.

PEOPLE

When Alex Bailey and I met for the first time, we were in the woods. He remarked on how urbane I looked for someone sleeping in a tent and told me he’d like my advice as he’d applied for a job as Chief Executive of Adur & Worthing Councils. I was unprepared having rushed straight from painting at home in Worthing to volunteer for Brighton based mentoring charity, A Band of Brothers.

It was about 5 years ago and I told him that Worthing’s wealth of creative talent is extraordinary. Alex got the job and made many changes.

When we met again recently, I thanked him for his work freeing Worthing’s funk. It can’t have been easy. We agreed that you can’t please everyone and I asked him what he thinks Worthing needs now. “A decent private members club!”

We didn’t go into the details of what that means. I guess each person’s idea of what’s decent is different. For me, good art pushes the boundaries of possibility. Kevin Hough runs Train of Thought Emporium and Gallery in North Street and works with local bands Noisferatu and Thee Bald Knobbers at the cutting edge of Worthing’s culture. Their acts, described as ‘experimental ceremonialism’ and ‘cult radish worshipping’ feature regularly at Bar 42 on Marine Parade alongside self proclaimed Bard of Worthing, Joe Bunn

and confessionalist poet and musician Daniel Parsonage. The richest and funniest cultural experiences of my life have been provided by these local talents who have recently joined forces with Nigel Watkins of micro-pub, Anchored in West Buildings, les Tres Femme D.J.s / promoters, Susie Pepper Smith and Jessie Cunnett, Steven Williams, One Love’s Luke Angel, socialite Maria Knox, author of Kinch, Laurie Owen and internationally renowned Romany artist Delaine Le Bas to open Cellar Arts Club.

Cellar Arts Club opens in December and will be accessible from the seafront’s Marine Parade and Prospect Place. Its premises have a long history, having previously been called Oasis, Riojas Tapas and Wine Bar, Cellar Bar, Cask Club, Claymore Club, Robert Bruce, Pathana Cafe and from 1966

to 1968, Arosa Club. Founder membership for the first 18 months is just £20 and gives you priority access to small gigs, poetry, talks, theatre and arthouse cinema. The members’ bar is a friendly space to share with like-minded people, a home from home where you will be as happy to hang out on your own with a book as you will with a group of friends watching great comedy, cabaret, and the like.

By stretching sanity beyond the confines of custom, threads of alternative reality form.

Weave them into the rich tapestry of Worthing’s culture by paying the ludicrously small membership fee to support this new venture. Events and organisations the board of Cellar Arts Club administer include: Instant Mash, Share the Warmth, Friends of St Paul’s and Comedy Club at Alehouse.

You don’t have to be an artist,

social activist or community builder to join Cellar Arts Club.

You can be whoever you are, even if that’s Chief Executive of Adur and Worthing Councils but don’t expect this to be another Soho House or Groucho. Club members will be local real people rather than international celebrities. Encouraging less boundaries between them and us and more opportunities for artists who are not considered mainstream. I’m looking forward to more authentic sharing, less name dropping and Hollywood endings.

David Freud

HERE & NOW | Page 8

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HERE & NOW | Page 9

Why Worthing?

Julie Hunt, Partnerships Manager @ Voluntary Action Worthing (VAW), tells us why it’s great to be home.

I’ve been desperate to get back for over fifteen years. Now the ‘salmon’ (as my husband has called me on several occasions) has finally returned home!

Adele sang in Hometown Glory, “round my hometown, memories are fresh”. I vividly recall my school days at Davison as if they were yesterday, regularly attending church services at the now fabulous new community space of St Paul’s. Dressed in our ‘Batman’ capes and red caps, we must have totally dominated the pavements of Worthing.

My childhood memories also include acting and dancing in several Worthing Musical Comedy Society shows at the Pavilion, including The King & I, Oliver and Show Boat. Then at 16, everything changed. I discovered punk music and fashion.

Julie, age 16

on the Town’s development and am so pleased to see the many new initiatives in place to welcome artists, musicians and families to our wonderful, historic seaside town!

Worthing has a long history of volunteering and supporting local people. Today, many voluntary sector organisations want to work with new and established partners, including businesses, to make our local communities even stronger. That’s why I am so happy to have joined VAW as the Partnerships Manager as I can support the sector to develop new partnerships and secure project funding and sustainable incomes.

I’ve worked and volunteered in the sector for nearly two decades, helping organisations to increase their impact and I can’t wait to make things happen for the benefit of Worthing too. VAW has been operating in our town since 1993 and has exciting plans to create a new membership hub which will be launched in 2017.

To find out more do email partnerships@ vaworthing.org.uk or call direct on 07787 056208 for a chat.

You can support our work in the future by simply using an on-line portal when you do your internet shopping,

At 19, London was calling (I blame The Clash) and the lure of the ‘big city lights’ was too irresistible.

Every time (and there were seven attempts) we tried to move home, something happened and I had to put my desire to get back home on the back burner. Meanwhile, I kept a close watch

PEOPLE

for Christmas gifts, all year through. No donation is needed - just nominate VAW (Reg. Charity number 1107753) and a small percentage of your overall spend will automatically be donated to us. Go to www.giveasyoulive.com/join/vaw to register before you start shopping! Thanks for your support!

It’s great to be home …

Julie Hunt

Worthing has a long history of volunteering & supporting local people

HERE & NOW | Page 10

Superstar Arts:

COMMUNITY

Get Stuck in and Don’t Stand By!

Arts sometime in November or

time out from her art work to talk

December. She went on to explain

about Super Friends (a friendship

how much she gets from being

group set up by Superstar Arts)

part of the group. “When I joined

for people aged 16 plus. “I’ve been

I hardly spoke a word. Now, when

to Chessington, gone bowling and

I go home at the end of the day,

to Out of Bounds in Rustington.

Superstar Arts is a not for profit

with services focusing on personal

Street, 11 Rugby Road, Brighton

I know I’ve achieved something

It’s so much fun and I get to make

community interest company

development and skills that are

and Café one22 at Heene

good.”

new friends.” Adele also tells

which delivers creative projects to

purpose driven and emphasise

Community Centre and they have

people with learning disabilities

improvements in independent

now launched an Etsy shop.

in Worthing and the surrounding

working, communication, decision

area. Established by Jo Sullivan

making and social skills. Making

There’s justifiable pride within

and Jo Telling, their mission is to

tasks and the realisations of ideas

challenge negative impressions

possible for each participant at

of learning disabled members

their own level is key.

of our community and enable

Tell people to come and get stuck in and don’t stand by

HERE & NOW | Page 11

me that Fi, a volunteer with the Martin, who sums up his life prior

project, meets her at the bus stop

to Superstar Arts as, “just hanging

and that now she has confidence

around with nothing to do,” has

to travel independently with

the group, when they tell me they

raised over £1,600 over the last 3

friends.

had two pieces of art exhibited at

years through activities, including

the Art Trail in Arundel this year.

sponsored silences and has also

Everyone discusses the Super

And, who wouldn’t be thrilled to

secured support from the local

Friends weekly evening meals out

“Tell people to come and get stuck

projects and welcome ideas for

greater understanding and respect

I joined the group on their

see someone in the street wearing

CO-OP store. He tells me how

at their favourite local Worthing

in and don’t stand by. Just come

fundraising and support from local

of what people can achieve.

activities day at Heene

your bag design. Martin, one

he now feels good about himself,

eateries. Martin, Adele and

along and have a look and be

business.

Their ethos is to be inclusive

Community Centre, where we

of the participants said, “I just

how he’s enjoyed the opportunity

friends also come up with a list of

yourself.”

and to create a collaborative

discussed ongoing enterprise

thought wow, I made that bag!”

to develop and make use of his

recommendations for going out

environment where members can

activities and how they support

enterprise skills and take part in

locally and we decide to make this

If you want to find out more about

produce work with professional

fund raising by designing and

Another participant explains

so many different activities, and

a regular column in the magazine’s

Superstar Arts and Super Friends,

artists and designers, which they

making cards, bags and brooches

how she spoke about the project

how the opportunity to meet up

general listings to share with other

please see www.superstararts.com

can share with the community.

for sale at events. They also sell

to her bank, Barclays in Chapel

with friends “lets the stress come

people who are learning disabled.

for info and contact details or go

out. I’m grateful for this group.”

their enterprise goods through

Rd and gained agreement to

They currently have over 100

outlets in Worthing, including the

promote the group’s activities in

people accessing their programme,

Craft Tea Gift Shop in Warwick

the foyer. Look out for Superstar

Always buying!

Coins & Banknotes.

Gold & Silver.

Medals & Jewellery.

Old Weapons, Army, Airforce & Navy items.

Old Watches & Quality Silver Plated items.

Old Car Badges, Old Postcards & Photos.

Old Leather Suitcases & Fountain Pens.

Antiques, Curios & Tribal items. & many other items.

Sussex Coin Company

20 New Broadway, Tarring Rd., West Worthing, BN11 4HP

Tel: 01903 232080 - email: sussexcoins@aol.com

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Shop open: Mon. 9.30-3.30, Tues. & Fri. 9.30-1.00 & 2.15-4.30.

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Free home visits. est 1968.

Another participant, Adele, takes

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Arts and their participants work

to leave with, I ask? Martin says,

hard to raise funds for their

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HERE & NOW | Page 13

Among the many ‘havens’ in Worthing is one where older men get together to create, mend and up-cycle, where they share carpentry skills and an occasional bit of companionable banter whilst working with wood .Where better to do this than in a shed? Ralph and Robin, who founded the Worthing Men in Sheds project learnt about the concept from Australia where it was born and where there are over 930 sheds. Ralph set about attracting donations of wood and a bit of funding from the County Council to buy tools and soon began attracting members; men who wanted to get out of the house and off the sofa or away from the telly.

In addition to undertaking community projects such as making bird boxes for a project in a local small wood, the guys have been commissioned this year by Worthing Museum & Art Gallery. The museum owns one of the largest collections of costumes dating back over 200 years and wanted a set of wardrobe-style doors made to help display the collection.

People stepping into the ‘Secret Gallery’ at the museum will encounter Men in Sheds handiwork. Other workshop products include rocking horses, garden planters, tables, chairs and candlesticks. An

All the guys in the shed are retired and are from all walks of life. So, in a typical shed, an engineer might rub shoulders with an accountant sharing expertise with a bus driver or window cleaner. In Worthing it’s not background that gets a man accepted into the shed; he will be welcomed if he has an understanding of working with wood (or a desire to try), some time to get together with the guys and shows an aptitude for using the kettle.

There is no mistaking the sense of purpose and social connection going on in the shed and clearly this enhances well-being but there is also a camaraderie and buzz about the place every time it opens for a few hours twice a week.

The guys are always looking for donations of tools for refurbishment and wood for reuse in projects. If you can help please let them know.

More information can be found at: www.meninshedsworthing.eu.pn Men in Sheds Worthing/ Facebook or email meninshedsworthing@gmail.com Julia Carrette

Photos: Robin with some of the Men outside the Shed Giraffe on display at Worthing Museum Garden

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HERE & NOW | Page 14

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PEOPLE

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Miscellaneous Curries

Side dishes

Chicken...........................................£5.30 Chicken and mushroom ...................£5.30 Malayan chicken with pineapple ......£5.50 Malayan meat with pineapple..........£5.70 Meat Sag (Spinach and meat) .............£5.70 Sag (Spinach ) and Prawn ................£5.70 Meat and Mushroom .......................£5.70 Prawn and mushroom .....................£5.70 King Prawn and mushroom .............£8.00 Kashmir chicken with fruit ...............£5.50 Chicken Rezala ................................£5.50

Vegetable curry (V) ..........................£2.95 Mushroom Bhajee (V)......................£2.95 Cauliflower Bhajee (V) .....................£2.95 Bhindi Bhajee (Okra) (V) ..................£2.95 Sag Paneer (V) ................................£3.20 Sag Chana (V) .................................£2.95 Brinjal Bhajee (Aubergine) (V)..........£2.95 Sag Bhajee (Spinach) (V) ...............£2.95 Aloo Paneer ....................................£3.00 Aloo Sag Bhajee (V) .......................£2.95 Bombay Potato (V) .........................£2.95 Dal (Lentals) (V) ..............................£2.95 Dal Tarka (V) ...................................£2.95 Onion Bhajee (V) .............................£2.95 Kabuli Chana Bhajee (V) ..................£2.95 Aloo Ghobi (V) ................................£2.95 Bendi Bhazi (V) ...............................£2.95 Mattar Paneer (V) ............................£3.20

(With garlic tomato & ginger)

Meat Rezala ....................................£5.95 Bombay chicken or meat ................£5.70 (Medium with egg and potato)

Satkora ..........................................£5.70

(Fish cooked with citrus fruit spicy and sour)

Sundry dishes Boiled rice ............................................................................................................£2.00 Pilau rice ..............................................................................................................£2.30 Special fried Rice ..................................................................................................£2.80 Egg rice ................................................................................................................£2.80 Mushroom rice .....................................................................................................£2.80 Keemar rice ..........................................................................................................£2.80 Garlic rice .............................................................................................................£2.80 Lemon rice ...........................................................................................................£2.80 Coconut rice .........................................................................................................£2.80 Chicken rice .........................................................................................................£3.50 Chapati ................................................................................................................£1.50 Plain Paratha ........................................................................................................£2.50 Stuffed Paratha ....................................................................................................£3.00 Papadum .............................................................................................................£0.60 Masala Papadum ..................................................................................................£0.60 Raitha onion or cucumber .....................................................................................£1.50 Chips ...................................................................................................................£1.80 Lime or mango pickle ............................................................................................£0.60 Mango chutney .....................................................................................................£0.60 Onion chutney.......................................................................................................£0.60

Set Meals

We will be pleased to prepare any curry not listed, the management reserves the right to refuse admission. Prices are subject to change without prior notice.

Some dishes may contain traces of nuts/ bones.

We cater for outside parties.

English Menu

Soft Drinks

Chicken Nuggets and Chips ............£4.95 Chicken and mushroom omelette and chips ............................4.95

Cans ...............................................£1.00 Bottles ............................................£2.95

If we don’t stock what you’re after, contact us to see if we can order it in for you at our best possible price!

SCRAPPAGE IS BACK!

Set Meal 1 Vegetarian £9.50

Starters: Onion Bhajee, Vegetable Samosa , Green Salad, Mint Sauce, Onion Salad, Papadum

Homes Brochure v2.indd 1

Mild Dishes

Medium Dishes

Hot Dishes

Korma - Masala Passanda

Dupiaza - Curry Methi - Sag Bhuna

Dansak - Jalfrezy - Madras Vindaloo

Set Meal 2 Chicken £10.50

Starters: Pappadum Chicken Tikka Starter, Onion Bhajee Green Salad, Mint Sauce, Onion Salad Mild Dishes Korma - Masala Passanda

Medium Dishes

Hot Dishes

Dupiaza - Curry Methi - Sag Bhuna

Dansak - Jalfrezy - Madras Vindaloo

sundarban Conversation page 11

Connections page 14

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Takeaway Menu

Medium Dishes

Hot Dishes

Dupiaza - Curry Methi - Sag Bhuna

Dansak - Jalfrezy - Madras Vindaloo

1/15/2016 11:58:42 AM

That’s right, on selected new Peugeots (for a limited time) scrappage is back.

Fine Indian Cuisine

Community page 7

Set Meal 3 Lamb & Prawn £10.50

Starters: Pappadum Chicken Tikka Starter, Onion Bhajee Green Salad, Mint Sauce, Onion Salad Mild Dishes Korma - Masala Passanda

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All Served with Vegetable of the day

Two full valets a year for 3 Years £300

No Discount on set meals

Three years free servicing £785* Ten years free MOT’s £548**

Total £1,932 - All for Free *Servicing offer is limited to three services, 1 per year. Figure of £785 is taken as an average cost of servicing across our model range. **MOT offer is on the car you purchase and is not transferable.

OR HEADLINE CUSTOMER SAVINGS Peugeot 108’s with £420* off Peugeot 208’s with £1,200* off & £1,040** off - Totalling £2,240 off

Opening Times

(V) Vegetarian jMild jMedium jjHot jjjVery Hot

prices correct at time of print.

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One of my favourite clients when I was styling in New York was a plus size company called Laine Bryant. Their tag line is ‘style goes beyond size’. The chance to work with voluptuous models was a welcome one, an opportunity to celebrate their shapely bodies and be paid handsomely for it. Most importantly, they looked and felt great. Apparently, the average woman in the United Kingdom is 5’ 3”, weighs 11 stone and is a size 16.

Recently, there was a furious comment posted on social media, saying that an online Designer Fashion website was selling a size 14 garment as XL or XXL. My daughter Lily is 25, she is size 16 and 5’ 3”. Like most young women of her age, she likes to shop at high street shops like Top Shop and H&M, sometimes at New Look. She has always struggled to find key items like jeans to fit her.

If they fit around the hips, they are probably going to be too big on the waist and about a foot too long. After a few frustrating years, she has learnt where to go to find sizes and shapes to suit her.

A friend’s daughter is 19 and over 6’ tall. She has had the opposite challenge to overcome, she can never find jeans or leggings long enough.

She has found that Tesco is a great place for leggings and that the ‘tall’ range at New Look is good for fashion. Her mum says that Bon Marche has improved their selection,

and is more inspiring than it used to be. She is also pleased that Peacocks has opened in Worthing.

And now for somebody completely different. Emma is Assistant Manager at St Barnabas House shop on Rowlands Road. She is studying Fine Art at Northbrook and has a young family. She is always beautifully dressed, stylish and confidently put together.

She loves bright colours like turquoise and pink and isn’t afraid to stand out. She has a great sense of style, and in her own words ‘my size and age are irrelevant’. I haven’t got a clue how old she is or what size clothes she wears! It really doesn’t matter. I can tell you is that she is a gorgeous woman who looks great.

There is a growing trend for the ‘Pin Up’ look, and there is a fantastic shop called Retro Daisy on Warwick Street which specialises in just that.

It is full of brightly coloured dresses printed with bunches of cherries, pencil skirts and 1950’s inspired sweater girl knits. I think their clothes look best on larger sized girls/ women, an hourglass figure ideally. They also have jeans, usually high-waisted, and very well cut. And not a hipster skinny jean in sight, a breath of fresh air.

If you are prepared to be adventurous, Worthing has a fantastic array of charity shops and they are great places to find unique clothes at bargain

prices. Shopping in charity shops is a bit of an art, you have to be patient and look carefully. I find it serendipitous and rewarding. I buy most of my clothes in them nowadays.

My mantra for clothes shopping, whatever size and shape you are is that the first step is to accept, understand and celebrate your body.

Identify your natural assets and show them off. Fitted clothes look great on curves, as long as they fit well. And, a well fitted bra is vital. I styled Victoria’s Secret advertising campaigns, fashion shows and catalogues for years and in the process learnt how important it is to invest in a good bra.

Photos: Lily models a Vintage navy & white dress size 16 - £10 & Houndstooth wool jacket size 16 - £8, both from St Barnabus House. www.stbh.org.uk/shops.

PS I am a tall, slim size 10 with a somewhat ‘gamine’ body, in other words boyish. I do not need to wear a bra. And yes, we all have our issues!

Debbi Mason

HERE & NOW | Page 16

Readin’ Around the Christmas Tree The Christmas Book Review

I’ll cut to the chase – books make the greatest gifts because they are thoughtful, timeless and make you look intellectual. Here is a round-up of my favourite books from 2016 and who they would make perfect gifts for. No need to thank me!

Letters of Note: Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience, Shaun Usher Perfect for: Everyone, this book is that good This is so much more than a compilation of letters - prepare yourself for an adventure through an emotionally rugged landscape.

Letters of Note is a celebration of the power of written correspondence which captures the humour, seriousness, sadness and brilliance that make up all of our lives. Featuring letters from a truly diverse line up: Leonardo da Vinci, Bill Hicks, Anais Nin, Roald Dahl, Albert Einstein, Elvis Presley, Dorothy Parker, John F. Kennedy, Groucho Marx, Charles Dickens, Katharine Hepburn, Steve Martin, Emily Dickinson and many more, including aesthete and Worthing’s biggest fan, Oscar Wilde.

Hello World: A Celebration of Language and Curiosities, Jonathan Litton, L’atelier Cartographik Perfect for: Budding young linguists

Learn to say hello in over 150 languages with this beautifully illustrated and interactive atlas, suitable for children 5-12 years old. Who hasn’t wanted to know how to write ‘hi’ in hieroglyphics or sign a greeting in Native American hand talk?! The more precocious young people in our lives may wish to try out their newly acquired language skills at one of Worthing’s many brilliant restaurants – Hola at Picasso, Sawasdee Ka at Spice I Am and Ciao at Giuseppes. Delizioso!

The Sellout, Paul Beatty Perfect for: Literature lovers, second cousins A book so great that it won the Booker Prize this year.

Paul Beatty delivers a biting satire about a young man’s isolated upbringing and the race trial that sends him to the Supreme Court, it is equal parts absurd, painful and hilarious.

It would be remiss of me to not mention that there are also plenty of gift ideas to be found in the warren of shelves of secondhand and antiquarian bookshops and for that, I recommend Badgers Books on Gratwicke Road. An adored book in a beautiful edition will win you Christmas, which is of course in the spirit of the celebration.

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Reaching Out, Worthing: Bringing a bit of Christmas cheer Shannon Colbourne, Youth Trustee at Blueprint 22 Youth Organisation Reaching Out: Worthing, is a project that I have been developing over the past year because I wanted local young people to meet and support older people over the Christmas period. Our plan is for a team of young people to visit, and give a gift and card to older people in Worthing who are isolated and vulnerable at Christmas time.

Due to the success of that project, we were asked many times to focus on supporting older people locally.

Some people don’t have anybody at Christmas time and often older people can be at their most vulnerable at this time of year. I don’t want anyone to feel lonely at Christmas so wanted to do something to help. I also want older people to have a positive experience of the younger generation and know we are thinking of them. It’s important for me to do this because we are part of the same community and need to get active in supporting each other.

How are you going to make it happen?

What was the idea behind your project?

Last year my Reaching Out project focused on Calais, helping displaced, homeless young people.

8 Blueprint 22 young people got together to make Christmas cards and small decorations. We will give these out as part of this project and hope to get many other gifts donated so that we can wrap and

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distribute them. During our visits, we will stay, chat, play games and spread a bit of Christmas cheer to those we meet.

How can the community get involved?

We are appealing to local people in Worthing and asking them to kindly donate gifts on our list below. We can directly collect these gifts from you between the 1st-9th December 2016. If you wish to donate, please call or text Shannon or Veronica on 07495 916359 and we will arrange a pick up. *Gift sets, Jars of sweets, Tins of biscuits, Soap, Socks, Chocolates, Playing cards & Tea* Blueprint 22 is a not for profit youth organisation. To find out more, please visit: www.blueprint22.org.uk This project was in-part funded by Worthing Community Chest.

Give a gift and card to older people in Worthing who are isolated and vulnerable at Christmas time.

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Invader Security experts in theDESIGN supply,AND PRINTING LTD to advertise my I herebyas consent to MODE company withinand the overdrive magazine for said period I also understand that installation, maintenance design of intruder the for information that residential I have been provided is correct and agree to pay the alarm systems domestic, and below fees with the invoice period stated. This does not affect you statutory commercial customers. rights I will also comply with the terms and conditions that MODE set before

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We will carryme, outterms free and a noconditions obligation Under the the Data Protection Actsecured.

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& P R I N T I N G eMagazine

every effort is made to minimise errors, occasionally they do occur. The final responsibility is with We provide aWhilst number of packages forthethe yourselves - the advertiser - to check that proof of the advert is correct. Please check all information & state clearly any alterations required. We cannot accept responsibility for late alterations requested after the Number: monitoring and maintenance of your alarm given deadline commencing on the date of the initialsystem proof shown above. It is the responsibility of the advertiser to ensure that the proof is correct prior to this deadline. to ensure that the correct response is given in the ct: Mr Kevin Grover event of an alarm activation.

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ing Amendments or Sending us Your Own Artwork Office Building

rn in the envelope provided to our office or E-mail us at gn@md-ab.co.uk clearly stating the changes you would like Postion: ____________________________ ake. Please Include your Invoice Number to avoid any delays. ch images at 300dpi in pdf, jpeg, tiff, ai, psd or ms word) Littlehampton Road, WORTHING, BN12 6PB 01903 502333 natively you can contact us on: 0151 227 4003

YEOMANS

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HERE & NOW | Page 19

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Company Registration No.9199143

Official Fuel Consumption in MPG (l/100km) and CO2 emissions (g/km) for the New 2008 SUV Range are: Urban 47.1 – 65.7 (6.0 – 4.3), Extra Urban 65.7 – 85.6 (4.3 – 3.3), Combined 57.6 – 76.3 (4.9 – 3.7) and CO2 114 – 96 (g/km). MPG figures are achieved under official EU test conditions, intended as a guide for comparative purposes only and may not reflect actual on-the-road driving conditions. †Subject to availability and on selected models

T e l e p h o n only. e: 0 1 5Control® 1 2 2 7feature 4 4 3is 3engine • W e b : Model www . m ois d e d2008 a p SUV . c oAllure . u k1.6L BlueHDi 100 at £199 Advance Payment. ^Rear parking aid is optional on Active level and standard on Allure & GT Line. **Touchscreen available from Active *Grip specific. shown New

1 9 9 1 4 3 • R e g i s t e r e d O f f ilevel. c e : Available F i r s t toFthose l o oinrreceipt O f fofi cthee Higher , U nRate i o nMobility M a rComponent i n e B uofi the l d Disability i n g , 1Living 1 DAllowance a l e S t(DLA), r e ethe t , Enhanced L i v e rRate p o Mobility o l L 2Component 2 S H of the Personal Independence Payment (PIP), War Pensioners’ Mobility Supplement (WPMS)

or Armed Forces Independence Payment (AFIP). Offer available on cars ordered between 01/10/16 and 31/12/16. Information and offers correct at time of going to press. For full terms and conditions, please contact Peugeot Motability on Freephone 0800 877 8201. Calls may be recorded for training and quality purposes. Call charges to the number shown from landline or mobile networks may vary. For information please contact your network provider. Peugeot Motor Company PLC reserve the right to change or amend the offer at any time. Please visit peugeot.co.uk/motability for details of our latest offers.

Electronic Temperature Instruments Ltd (ETI) the Worthing based thermometer manufacturer was thrilled to be the new headline sponsor at this year’s 2016 Adur & Worthing Business Awards, which took place on Friday 11th November at the Pavilion, Worthing.

Peter Webb MBE, Managing Director of ETI commented “We were delighted to sponsor these awards which recognised the achievements of local businesses small and large, new and long standing - I started my business in 1983 as a small enterprise, however ETI has grown phenomenally and way beyond my wildest dreams”.

Businesses were invited to enter the awards which offered twenty separate categories, all designed to recognise successes and achievements across various industries.

Being selected as a winner or finalist is a tremendous achievement, and a real opportunity to generate positive publicity for your business. ETI have enjoyed much success themselves at these awards, winning various accolades in recent years

LOCAL BUSINESS

including ‘Overall Business of the Year’ and ‘Large Business of the Year’ in 2014.

The 2016 awards evening was deemed a great success as local businesses and professionals enthusiastically took the opportunity to network, reinforce existing business relationships, and make new ones during a night to remember.

The big winner on the night was Ricardo, who won both the Innovation and Manufacturing Awards, and Ricardo then went on to take the big prize on the night, overall Business of the Year.

A fitting tribute in many ways as Ricardo celebrated their centenary last year (2015) 100 years in business.

Other notable winners were Dave Hunt (Mr Worthing) Business Personality and Peter Davis (Shoreham Port and director of Adur & Worthing Business Partnership) the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Dog day care Dog grooming Dog training

/cont. p. 21

Ricardo team and Peter Webb from ETI (centre) Photo: Steve Forrest / Bloomfield Digital

Your thank dog will choos you for ing us Open 7am - 7pm Mon - Sat 32a Teville Road, Worthing BN11 1UG www.unleashed.uk.com 01903 211 468 info@unleashed.uk.com

HERE & NOW | Page 20

HERE & NOW | Page 21

Adur & Worthing Business Awards ...cont. from p.19

2016 Winners & Highly Commended

Left: Dave Hunt Below: Peter Davis

Photos: Steve Forrest / Bloomfield Digital

Customer Service Winner - Gardner Scardifield Highly commended - Henry House Start up Winner – Bespoke You Beauty Retreat Highly commended - GoGecko Innovation Winner – Ricardo Small Business Winner – Bloomfield Digital Highly commended – Momentum Business Support Green Business Winner - The Nature Shop Highly commended – Perch on Lancing Beach Training & Development Winner PEP the Printers Hospitality, Tourism & Leisure Winner - The Worthing Food & Drink Festival Highly commended – Worthing WOW Festival Medium Business Winner - Investment Solutions Wealth Management Highly commended - Spicer International Outstanding Contribution to the Community Winner – Laroma Therapies

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Places to Eat and/or Drink Winner – Perch on Lancing Beach Highly commended (two) – Crab Shack and the Hummingbird Restaurant Young Achiever Winner – Jordan Hay-Ellis of Limesphere Manufacturing Winner – Ricardo Large Business Winner – Guild Care Highly commended – Gemini Print Retailer Winner – VJG Jewellery Highly commended – Candle Scentral Team of the Year Winner - Hunters Recruitment Highly commended - Northwood Estate & Letting Agents Employer of the Year Winner – ECE Architecture Highly commended - GuildCare Business Personality Winner - Dave Hunt Worthing Herald Reader’s Choice Winner - Pannisa Coffee Lounge Lifetime Achievement Winner – Peter Davies Overall Business of the Year Winner - Ricardo

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Let’s Dance HEALTH & WELLBEING Think of dancing and what comes to mind? The elegance of ballerinas and their perfect pirouettes? The marching strut of the boys from Madness?

Or indelible, cringe-worthy memories of school discos…?

Just for Kids?

Growing up in the 80s, Thursday night was a big deal for my younger sister and me: tea, bath, pyjamas, then places reserved in front of the television ready for our weekly ‘Top of the Pops’ dance-off. I can still feel the excitement of dancing as though our lives depended on it, and the post-show euphoria that accompanied our lively debrief as to whether my Dexys stomp was better than her Bananarama bop.

As children it feels perfectly

natural to dance with abandon, regardless of where we are and who we’re with. Though - for many of us - inhibitions creep in as we grow older, and dancing becomes something reserved for cramped wedding reception dancefloors, or limited to a surreptitious wiggle whilst stuck in traffic.

Dan Flanagan has no such inhibitions, “I grew up in the 80s and 90s; with hip hop, street dance and acid jazz making dance accessible to young men in the UK”. “However, we become self-conscious as we get older. Many of my friends haven’t danced in years.”

Why should we dance?

It’s almost impossible not to smile whilst dancing. With a healthy dose of ‘feel good’

“Dancing is good for the soul.

Seeing a room full of smiles, different generations dancing together to the same tune... that’s what it’s all about”. Ant Dickinson, St Paul’s Arts Centre Manager

hormones, we really do get a boost from the boogie!

When we dance, our body and mind work in synergy. We fall under the spell of the music (though not necessarily in time to the beat!) and our body responds. This focus helps to reduce stress, providing a valve to let off steam. We’re quite literally able to dance our cares away!

So where do I start?

The simple act of dancing with others can provide an exciting new activity to enjoy with friends, or even an opportunity to meet new ones.

All this and it can be fun! It really doesn’t matter whether we think we’re any ‘good’ at it. See it as playing whilst pogo-ing, laughing whilst lambada-ing…

• Jive Talking – learn how to ‘modern jive’ at the Assembly Hall with Jive Play

• Tremendous Tap - RSOPA offers classes in a variety of styles for all ages from toddler, to teen, to adult.

So in the words of Suggs, if you’re beginning to feel the heat, you’d better to start to move your feet, to the rock steady beat...

• Rave On! – St Paul’s Arts Centre has an exciting list of events, with everything from Sunday afternoon Swing to electronic nights.

Contact Sim at sim@simsspace.co.uk

Windows, Doors & Conservatories

Party time at St Paul’s

• Sizzling Salsa – shake your stuff with a Zumba class at Splashpoint Leisure Centre

…and in case you were wondering, my Dexys stomp is still top notch.

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We’re spoilt for choice for places to don our dancing shoes in Worthing. So if it’s more than a shimmy in the kitchen you’re looking for, here are a few ideas:

• Cheeky Charleston - Keenes Dance Studio offers a range of classes to suit everyone from adult beginners to

•

HERE & NOW | Page 23

Sim likes to write about the happy things in life and, also runs the Yoga Brunch.

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HERE & NOW | Page 25

Love of art?

Join a club or check out the fabulous exhibitions at Worthing Museum & Art Gallery.

ARTS & CULTURE

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talks and lectures with occasional

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Centre.

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The membership consists of a broad

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HERE & NOW | Page 26

HERE & NOW | page 27

Sunny Worthing Awards 2016 Vote now for your Sunny Worthing best local independent company, charity and community group.

Sunny Worthing Awards celebrates the best local independent companies, charities and community groups. 2016 will be the 3rd year of the awards.

Nominations have been shortlisted and you can now vote online in a number of categories ranging from your favourite independent cafe to a worthy grass roots project. Voting will be open until the end of December.

Nominations were submitted by the local community and shortlisted by a panel of Sunny Worthing team and independent businesses. All information, including last year’s winners can be found on Sunny Worthing Awards Facebook page @ SunnyWorthingAwards.

Colm Sweet, founder of Sunny Worthing, said “Our 2nd Sunny Worthing Business Awards was a huge success; over 5000 votes were cast and the evening was attended by 240 local awards nominees and VIPs. The Sunny Worthing team would like to

thank all the sponsors and especially Phil Duckett at the Southern Pavilion.

These really are local awards for the people, by the people!”

COMMUNITY

Photo: Ed Watts Weddings

The Awards are being held at Worthing Pier’s Southern Pavilion on Friday 17 February 2017. Here & Now are sponsors of the Services category.

Sunny Worthing is a non-profit making local media group run by a team of volunteers, whose aim is to use social media platforms and large local following to support local businesses, charities, events and community groups.

Shaun Daniels (right) with Mike D Petretta (left), co-owners of Picolla Italia, 2015 winners of Sunniest Independent Retailer.

“Worthing is a magical place and it’s thanks to the people that live and work here. The Sunny Worthing Awards is a spectacular example of this, with the love and commitment dedicated to helping small business, charity groups and events get recognition.

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HERE & NOW | Page 28

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Restaurant Review

There’s a new grill in town... and its name is Fernando’s There’s an art to telling your 13 year-old son that you’re taking him to a former pole-dancing club for dinner...

BISTRO Palm Court Pavilion, Beach House Park, Lyndhurst Road, Worthing Tel: 01903 212011 Palm Court Pavilion is a stylish Café-Bistro in the beautifully renovated pavilion in Beach House Park. We serve delicious homemade food in a tranquil setting a few minutes walk from the town centre and the seafront.

EUROPEAN The Beach House Bar 23 Marine Parade, Worthing Tel: 01903 367313 A family friendly beach front bar - home cooked meals & gourmet burgers. Locally sourced food & Sussex ales. Our sea front terrace is perfect for watching the world go by & with heaters can be enjoyed even in the colder evenings.

CAFE St.Paul’s Chapel Rd, Worthing Tel: 01903 368967 Using fresh, local ingredients we produce everything from homemade soups & tarts to grilled burgers, fresh sandwiches and lovely hot stews. From midday to 2pm each day you can help yourself to our super-healthy buffet.

EUROPEAN Coast Cafe des Artistes, Seafront, Beach Parade, Worthing Tel: 01903 216937 Superb beach cafe offering a short menu of dishes; from coffee & croissant to organic burgers. Fully licensed. On the beach, 200 metres east of the pier, we do the best Sussex breakfast and great portions of freshly made lunch dishes.

FINE DINING

CAFE Southern Pavilion The Pier, Worthing Tel: 01903 366017 The award-winning Art Deco period building at the end of the pier.

Our daytime cafe serves food & drink with the best sea views on the South Coast, with panoramic windows on all sides. Fully licensed - with our own Worthing Pier Beer!

Indigo Bar & Restaurant Steyne Gardens, Worthing Tel: 01903 230451 Indigo, a relaxed yet stylish environment, offers Contemporary English & European Cuisine, expertly prepared & presented.

Only the finest ingredients are sourced, wherever possible from local producers.

ITALIAN

GRILL

PIZZAFACE 138 Montague Street, Worthing Tel: 01903 202026 Best pizza in town! Fresh veg, the best meats we can find & Sardinian ‘00’ flour. Gluten, wheat free, vegan options. Salads & meat boxes & sides. And, Bo Ho Gelato!

Delivery radius 3 miles.

ITALIAN

Fernandos Bar Grill 31 Chatsworth Rd, Worthing Tel: 01903 367890 At Fernando’s Bar and Grill you will get the best Chicken and Steak in Worthing!

At Fernando’s we are passionate about chicken and spectacular service. Come and join us in a relaxing and vibrant setting.

PUBS & BARS

Giuseppes Restaurant 8 Warwick Lane, Worthing Tel: 01903 212780 Authentic rustic Italian food served in our warm, friendly restaurant in the heart of Worthing. From familiar favorite’s like lasagne and carbonara, to high quality locallysourced steaks and fish plus Italian specialty dishes.

The Tudor Close Pub & Kitchen Ferringham Lane, S. Ferring.

Tel: 01903 243155 Gourmet food for casual eaters good food & friendly atmosphere.

Our food is homemade with the greatest of care possible thanks to our expert chefs. Enjoy a meal in the Bar, Gallery Restaurant, Library Room or Conservatory.

For further details on all listed restaurants

hereandnowmag.co.uk scroll down & click on EATING OUT

However, the owners have removed every trace of that venue, so Joe and I entered on a Thursday night impressed with what met us. The space is bright, clean, warm and inviting and the front-of-house team welcome is warm and inviting too.

There’s obvious comparisons with... well, you-know-who...but the restaurant is not a complete homage. At its core are steaks and peri-peri chicken, with sizes and heat levels to cover every desire and palate, supplemented by other grill dishes and a wide variety of sides.

We wanted to cover as much of the menu as possible, so I chose chicken wings to start, followed by baked aubergine, with “Fernando’s rice” on the side. Joe had feta-

stuffed peppers, then chicken, with corn and potato wedges.

The wine list is fairly extensive, all reasonably priced and available by the glass.

Service is friendly and attentive.

The starters were nicely spicy, with the wings being moist and a large portion (3 entire wings); Joe said the peppers were delicious.

Plates cleared and new cutlery issued, we eagerly anticipated the mains... and weren’t disappointed.

The aubergine bake was a warm, sweet and piquant hug, and the spiced rice perfectly cooked. The chicken was again moist and wellspiced (Joe gave me a taste) and the corn and wedges on his plate soon disappeared.

We finished with a piece of banoffee pie and two spoons (always a good benchmark for desserts) and were delighted to find pastry encapsulating the banana and toffee, topped with

Service is friendly and attentive caramel cream and a deep, almost burnt, caramel... not your usual banoffee pie.

Pricing is great value with three courses coming in at under £35 for the two of us.

With talk of major chain chicken restaurants coming to the town in the not-too-distant future, Fernando’s Grill certainly has cajones in opening now - but with this kind of food and service, it’ll develop a loyal and satisfied fan base.

Reviewers: Jonathan & Joseph Nulty

Tired of turkey & all the trimmings?

Why not try a Not-So-Secret Santa?

Fancy something a little different for a festive outing with friends, work colleagues or family?

Then book private dining at Worthing’s famous Not So Secret Suppers throughout December.

BE HERE & NOW!

INDIGO BAR & RESTAURANT STEYNE GARDENS, WORTHING TEL: 01903 230451 Indigo, a relaxed yet stylish environment, offers Contemporary English & European Cuisine, expertly prepared & presented. Only the finest ingredients are sourced, wherever possible from local producers.

Peri-Peri chicken Fernando’s rice

Fernando’s Grill, 33 Chatsworth Road www.fernandosgrill.co.uk

To be listed here & online CALL TODAY - 01903 686 100 option 1

Do they know how good you are? Here’s an opportunity to shout about your restaurant, cafe or pub!

Get your eatery listed in print & online to reach 50,000+ potential customers for just £20+vat per month.

Book 6 months for £150+vat or 12 months for £240+vat. CALL TODAY - 01093 686 100 option 1.

EATING OUT

“A unique dining experience, right here in Worthing” Alternatively, come to one of our Suppers and get to know other people around a single table, feasting on three courses of fine dining &lively conversation.

Dates: 9th, 16th & 17th Dec.

Book now:

Choice of a la carte or fixed menu, Sunday lunches, lighter meals served in the bar, afternoon teas, special dining events, private dinings and weddings.

Call 01903 202767

More about Indigo

vicepuddings@hotmail.co.uk

DECEMBER MENU £32 a head - BYO Starters: Christmas Prawn Cracker Ravioli Rudolfo (venison ragu) Rice-Stuffed Brussels Tops Mains: Porchetta with Gingerbread stuffing Monkfish fillet on Saffron Risotto Cheese Souffle with Carrot & Fennel Desserts: Cranberry Bakewell Tart Christmas Knickerbocker Glory Snow-flecked Brownie Price includes cocktail, dessert wine, coffee, petit-fours & £2 donation to WCHP

HERE & NOW | Page 30

FOXY ROXY’S BEST OF EVERYTHING DOG Well here I am in my brand new role as ace columnist for Here & Now. As we approach Leftovamas, I wanted to start off with a big up to my good friends at the Rocking Horse cocktail bar, perfectly located for moi at the mouth of Steyne Gardens.

It’s a lovely and welcoming place with great mixologists and the best damn cocktails in town.

I instructed my assistants to try a signature drink, the Jamaican Rum Punch. This gorgeous concoction is lit with a blow torch, so it’s a fairly spectacular if not barking affair. While they’re sipping, I question Igor, the bar’s chief mixologist and proprietor about his work.

So Igor, what attracted you to set up this great venue in Worthing?

We recognised that Worthing had fantastic potential. I am also pleased to be living in Worthing: the town is full of very quirky independent bars and restaurants and discerning dogs.

What’s the story of the Rum Punch, and is there a special reason to use this specific rum?

Tiki cocktails are now very popular in the world of cocktails, the recipe itself is an old classic rum punch. We decided to use Jamaican over proof rum (for the flame) and cinnamon to create a visual effect and extra flavours.

Igor, how do you come up with new combinations and discover new flavours? What inspires you?

It’s a Rum Do at the Rocking Horse

HERE & NOW | page 31

It takes time to create a new recipe, we have to find the right combination of flavours and the right balance between ingredients. The inspiration comes from various sources; social media is now the most effective way to learn new things, we are sharing pages and recipes with bartenders from all around the world; travelling and discovering new culture is my second source of inspiration.

Thanks Igor, I’ll be back soon for another session of TLC (Top Lovely Cocktails).

Humans, you got to try this doggie friendly, laid back ambience. Say bonjour if you see me hanging around the joint.

Kisses Foxy X

P.s. Check me out at Sighthound Ezine Foxy Roxy’s Blog Find me on Instagram & Facebook!

Or email reservations@ardingtonhotel.co.uk We can send it to you in a printable format or post it or you can simply send it via email with a personalised note

HERE & NOW | Page 32

The Real Boat That Rocked PEOPLE

– with a local connection

seventies and eighties, the public perception was that the station had Sgone broke, or had been forcibly silenced. Indeed, this did happen when in late 1989, the UK and Dutch authorities, exasperated that Caroline kept on keeping on, boarded the station’s ship Ross Revenge and smashed it up. Sometime after, Ross Revenge was shipwrecked and salvaged, though in dreadful condition.

Caroline was a revelation by comparison and gained a huge audience, which spilled over in to new youth culture and fashion and an explosion of good modern music.

While they may have been over generous, The Who have stated that without Caroline they would not have sold a single record.

The choice was to give up, or start all over. Caroline chose the latter.

Now the station can be heard anywhere in the world via the Internet and on mobile phones and other devices. The radio-ship Ross Revenge was rebuilt and now sits at anchor on a broad river in Essex. Via the new technology of DAB, Caroline now covers Brighton, Portsmouth, Aldershot, Norwich, Glasgow & Birmingham, with more towns and cities to follow.

1967 brought Flower Power and the Summer of Love and everyone was happy aside from the Government who devised a law intended to make Caroline unprofitable, thinking that the station would give in. But not being profit motivated, Caroline defied the law saying that it could and would continue.

Thereafter things get hazy, as the Government banned positive mentions of the station and the media, of course, like to publish bad news. As the station struggled with marine, financial and legal setbacks, there was no shortage of such news. So while Caroline continued at sea through the

The matter of whether any money can be made in this way is of no more importance than it was fifty years ago. The station is 100% independent, being mainly financed by its own listeners.

Local resident Gary Ziepe joined Caroline in 2012. He started his career over forty years ago in the library at London’s Capital Radio.

Since then he’s presented shows on various stations including Breeze, Essex FM, Invicta FM and Worthing based Splash FM (now More Radio). He also worked on Capital Gold for over ten years.

Some dial surfing in the 70’s led him to discover Radio Caroline for the first time. He told us. “I remember listening back in the 70’s and thinking that it was doing what the others weren’t by simply playing radio friendly album tracks.

“Most music stations today have limited, repetitive playlists which leads to burnout and they only seem to play sterile over produced music. It’s radio by numbers. Fact is that most of them won’t take risks anymore in breaking new artists. I know it’s a business but in business you sometimes have to take risks in order to expand.

“I wanted to be on a station that plays quality music with soul and passion, written by musicians who can play their own instruments.

Within reason we get complete freedom to choose what we want to play across the genres. Rock, soul, indie, R&B, blues, country rock. It’s a capacious tapestry of quality tracks. If it’s good enough it’s on!

Oxjam 2016 3 Venues - 1 Cause - £650 raised for Oxfam

LIVE MUSIC

This year I was privileged to be able to put on Worthing Oxjam 2016, a free local music festival across 3 venues. Musicians provided over 30 hours of free entertainment to the people of Worthing. We raised just over £650 for Oxjam through collection buckets and donations from venues.

We are gratifying a market that isn’t being catered for in so called ‘mainstream radio’.

That’s the genius of Radio Caroline.

Most people in the UK will know the name Radio Caroline, the ‘pirate’ station that arrived off the British coast in 1964, tantalisingly just out of reach of UK legislation.

With a never before heard diet of non-stop pop music, it liberated the listening public from Listen with Mother, The Archers and the Billy Cotton Band Show, featuring cutting edge music from the Big Ben Banjo Band.

HERE & NOW | Page 33

All 3 venues were buzzing. What struck me was the range of ages, styles and yet the consistently high quality of all the performers. At Bar 42 we saw band after band smash out great sets at the hands of local legend Mike Baker on the mixing desk.

The RPMs, who have played at Glastonbury headlined. The Alehouse & Kitchen used Oxjam to showcase many of the great performers who regularly attend Open mic nights organised by Susie Pepper Smith.

“New technology and the mighty power of the net liberates people to listen to Radio Caroline from anywhere on the planet. There’s no doubt that the radio landscape is changing and Caroline is beautifully evolving into it. We are gratifying a market that isn’t being catered for in so called ‘mainstream radio’. That’s the genius of Radio Caroline. It was doing this back in the 1960’s and it’s still doing it here in the 21st century!”

To find out more & how to listen, visit: www.radiocaroline.co.uk NB: Caroline carries some sponsored shows Mon & Tue evenings, which fall outside of the usual format.

PHOTOS:

Top left: Ross Revenge 2016 at anchor on the River Blackwater Top right: At sea before the 300ft mast came down shortly after the Great Storm of 1987.

Above: Local man & Caroline DJ, Gary Ziepe Left: Mi-Amigo, a former ship, which came to an unhappy end in 1980.

This event happened because local people and businesses rallied around a great cause. A huge thanks to all those that played, helped or came along and supported the event and especially those who kindly donated.

Thanks in particular to Mark Knowles at Bar 42; Matt and Tim the owners of the Beach House, Daniel Trudgian the Alehouse & Kitchen and Bar Ten owner, and Susie Pepper Smith for all their help and support.

Studio 13 designed and printed flyers and posters, and Paul O’Brian at Candy Love shop who invited us to busk and raise money outside his shop to kick start the event.

But of course, the event would not have been possible without the musicians, (just a few highlighted here) and sound technicians, (Mike Pailthorpe, Ben Wolage, Ian Barber and Shona Best), who all gave their time freely.

Keep your eyes peeled for news about next year’s Oxjam in Worthing.

Colm Sweet, Sunny Worthing

PHOTO CREDITS Top Left: Ludo, The Beach House. Photo: Katie Almond Bottom Left: The Dead Reds, Bar 42. Photo: Colin Bolton Top Right: The Azure (Max & George), Bar 42. Photo: Colin Bolton.

Above Left: Harvey Kimber, The Alehouse & Kitchen. Photo: Colin Bolton Above Right: Jenny Wear, busking at Candy Love. Photo: Colm Sweet Below Left: Izzy Fin, The Beach House. Photo: Colm Sweet Below Right: The RPMs, Bar 42. Photo: Colm Sweet

HERE & NOW | Page 34

So You Want to Make Music?...

LIVE MUSIC

Mike Pailthorpe interviews two prominent music locals on their Worthing-based music careers

When it comes to making music, Worthing can be a bit like an iceberg: most of it is below the waterline, quietly hidden but getting on fabulously well, thanks very much. I thought I’d look at the future career prospects here for young music makers, so I talked to two prominent music locals with quite different approaches to their Worthing-based music careers: Ruby Taylor, otherwise known to music fans as the electronic artist Yumi and The Weather, and Matt Chapman from media music company MuchasMusic.

Ruby fronted popular alternativereggae based band Tin Roots in Festivals all around the country, then started Yumi and The Weather, playing cut down electronic gigs by herself with her guitar and laptop.

She’s joined forces with indie label XVI Records to start her own label Miohmi and has run showcases at seafront venue Coast this Summer.

Ruby, you’re signed to a label as an artist. When’s your next music coming out?

“My solo project: Yumi And The Weather has 2 tracks coming out early 2017 on a limited edition press of 7” vinyl with a hand sprayed sleeve design. It will be the first release on the label so very excited! I’ve also worked with local video production company United Magic Studios on the music videos which was great fun and I’m very excited to share.”

Now you also have your own label - are you looking for talent?

“Yes definitely, already starting to approach people to release in 2017.

Anyone interested in submitting demos you can find the info on the contact page www.miohmirecords. com.”

The latest news is that you’ve joined highly rated female fronted

HERE & NOW | page 35

local band Bloom as guitarist - will you sing as well? Will you write with them too?

“I am so happy to be part of Bloom.

They are one of my favourite bands, so it’s great to be involved. I will eventually back Emily and Megan on BVs, but for now just want to get the guitar parts down solid. Perhaps in the future will help with writing, at the moment will mainly just be gigging their current album.

How is it as an artist living here in Worthing? What is it about the place that helps your life, productivity etc? What do you want to change?

Having moved here in 2003, I’ve seen Worthing slowly develop and become a place that people are actually very content with, including myself. There’s beautiful graffiti popping up in places now, also great events going on pretty much every weekend, so people don’t need to journey to Brighton to find good vibes. What keeps me productive here is the chilled pace Worthing has - which allows me to focus. I also get very inspired by what I find in the local charity shops and second-hand shops (like the flea market down Bath Place and Train Of Thought Emporium).

What I would change though, would be the homelessness issue.

It’s starting to get cold now and it’s heart-breaking seeing people on the streets during winter.

Ten years ago, Matt Chapman started the company which has become MuchasMusic in Worthing to make bespoke music and sound effects and sound design for adverts, film, TV and online. He’s been increasingly busy, and lately you might have unknowingly heard his music on Vodaphone or Primula adverts or the US trailer for the TV series of JK Rowling’s Casual Vacancy. “It’s quite different to career as a Pop artist, even though I spend most of my time in the studio”.

Muchas Music is a full-time job for Matt; “but without the commute, or an office full of co-workers, although at Christmas, it means the office party is a bit small.” Why not have a Christmas “office” party for local music/film/creatives, including competitors, all in one

SOUTHERN PAVILION

place? Brighton has the Media Centre and Wired Sussex, but with new creative spaces opening up in Worthing this year at the Sphere, Colonnade House and The Loft, there could be quite a big party.

It’s a great idea - how about it, Worthing creatives?

Ruby has sung for Matt on a couple of advert music jobs, but he won’t ever say which! “I don’t like to publicly link people’s bands with the work they do for me, but great singers will sound great on everything.”

Matt, do you use local talent, or do you get your guitarists and singers to send you their recordings from around the world?

“Because of the Internet, we’re connected to the whole world, and a guitarist in Chicago can record some licks to our brief and send me the tracks by email, but the results can often be so much better when we simply work together in the same space at the same time.” Matt says: “I’m relying on local talent all the time, and I’m constantly looking for new people, because every job is different. I’m always short of good male vocalists: there are good singers about, but I need a vocalist who can really control and work with different sounds.”

Many of the vocalists Matt uses were originally spotted by him playing live in the town. ”Most people I work with, I end up going to their gigs. And the best thing

about having success with someone living locally is you can actually meet up and buy each other a beer!” Matt also uses local visual art talent, in particular Doug, who designs the great Bar 42 posters you might have seen around town.

THURSDAY 29 DECEMBER th

Matt’s music is his business, but his band Doppler Shift is still very important to him and they recently played St Paul’s.

Matt is now looking for more music talent: “If you’ve got music recorded that you’d like to get into film, TV, adverts etc. send me links to your tracks via sync@muchasmusicsync. com” These are just two of the talented Worthing people making music each day. Many more are out there, some I get to meet as they come through Northbrook College Music Department, either as students, or later as tutors or Industry Visitors.

If you’re making music, get in touch with Matt and Ruby, and with us at Here & Now, and we’ll tell the rest of the town.

Mike runs S’koolFest & the Music Business Degrees at Northbrook College Twitter: @mikepailthorpe

Jeanie Wishes

Your Host Dawn Gracie

Griffin and Jones

Cabaret • Burlesque Comedy • Music • Magic

Vicky Butterfly

Doors open 6.45pm Show starts 8pm till 10.30pm £22 per ticket • Plus booking fee Over 18’s only

Tickets available from The Southern Pavilion Cafe or www.worthingpier.co.uk

Unreserved seating & standing • some restrictive viewing due to pillars

burlesque@worthingpier.co.uk • www.worthingpier.co.uk

Lou Safire

HERE & NOW | Page 36

LIVE MUSIC

Martin, Adele & friends from Superstar Arts recommend!

Beatbox 2016 Ball Fri 2 Dec 7-10pm.

Beatbox presents the Alice Band. A fabulous night with friends. Live music all night. Finger buffet & bar available. For adults 16+ with learning disability.

St Paul’s, Chapel Rd. Tickets call 07729 679908 info@beatboxworthing. co.uk. £5.

Love Music - Hate Racism Sat 10 Dec 7pm-midnight.

Train of Thought Emporium, are holding a Punky, Funky, Reggae Party.

Paul Jones & Dave Kelly Acoustic Blues Sat 7 Jan 8pm, doors open 6.45pm.

Paul Jones and Dave Kelly’s tangled and colourful roots go way back into the true undergrowth of the tradition.

As well as their own original material, they not only know and perform the work of the greats, ranging from Howling’ Wolf, John Lee Hooker through to Sonny Boy Williamson - they actually played alongside them, and enjoyed their friendship.

After over a quarter century as presenter of his BBC Radio 2 R&B show, and as a thrilling singer and harmonica maestro, what Paul Jones doesn’t know about the Blues can be written on a pinhead.

Southern Pavilion. £20

St Paul’s, Chapel Rd. FREE

Listings DECEMBER Janet Devlin with support from Hollie Rogers Thurs 1 Dec 8pm. Doors open 7pm. In 2011, Janet caught the public’s attention on Series 8 of The X Factor. Southern Pavilion. www. worthingpier.co.uk or Southern Pavilion Cafe £12.50 Shalamar: A Night to Remember Thurs 1 Dec 7.30pm. The Greatest Hits Tour! Featuring Howard Hewett, Carolyn Griffey and Jeffrey Daniel Shalamar. Assembly Hall. £31 Child £16.50.

Bustin’ A Groove Thurs 1 Dec 8.30pm. Live music.

Coach & Horses. FREE

Harvest Moon Thur 1 Dec Folk songs at The John Selden, Half Moon Lane Vektrill Thur 1 Dec 7.30pm. Plus NEKO & LUNA LACUNA. Bar 42 FREE 42 Samurai Fri 2 Dec 7.30pm Bar 42 Beatbox 2016 Ball Fri 2 Dec 7-10pm. Beatbox presents the Alice Band. A fabulous night with friends. Live music all night. Finger buffet & bar available.

For adults 16+ with learning disability. St Paul’s, Chapel Rd. Tickets, call 07729 679908, info@ beatboxworthing.co.uk. £5.

Tom Hingley (ex Inspiral Carpets) Sat 3 Dec 7.30pm. Plus Five Kites,

Imbium, The Jezter. Bar 42. FREE The Audacity Sat 3 Dec. The Merry Monk, Lancing.

Gatling Camel 3 Dec. 5 piece live band playing everything from 70’s to 90’s music.

Thomas A Becket. FREE Wish You Were Here (A Festival By The Sea) Sun 4 Dec 4pm. Launch Party. With Kevin, Jessie and Susie. Bar 42.

Alternative @42: Launch Night!

Tue 6 Dec 7pm. Alternative styled music. Ebolalas (punk), Phantom of Eden (Stoner rock), and our headline act being Peach fuzz (punk). Bar 42. £2 WSO: Tasmin Little

Tue 6 Dec 7.30pm. The return of one of Britain’s greatest violinists in Szymanowski’s magical First Violin Concerto. Also Rachmaninov’s hugely popular Second Symphony and Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite.

Assembly Hall. From £19.

80’s Disco Sat 3 Dec 8.30pm-2am. Relentless ‘80s. Bar Next Door, Rowlands Rd. South Downs Folk Singers Sat 7 Dec. Join in with South Downs folksongs. We sing songs about the South Downs – or that were sung in the South Downs – or written by a resident of the Downs.

Beechwood hall Hotel.

Taylor Maid Christmas Show Sat 8 Dec. The John Selden

HERE & NOW | page 37

HERE & NOW | Page 38

LIVE MUSIC Cont. from 36 Brian May and Kerry Ellis’ ‘The Candlelit Concert Christmas Tour’ Thurs 8 Dec 8pm. This legendary partnership returns to the UK touring circuit featuring their unique style of intimate and interactive rock music. Assembly Hall. £46.50 Christmas Celebration Concert Fri 9 Dec 7.30-9.30pm. The Rowland Singers Choral Society Christmas Celebrations Concert.

Special guests The Emery Ensemble.

Emmanuel URC, St Michael’s Road.

Tel: 01903 238792.

Seething Akira/Core of iO/ plus Fri 9 Dec 8pm Bar 42 Love Music - Hate Racism Sat 10 Dec 7pm-midnight. Train of Thought Emporium, are hold a Punky, Funky, Reggae Party. There’s also a Vinyl and Vintage Fair 125pm. St Paul’s, Chapel Rd. FREE The Dumb Waiters Sat 10 Dec 9pm. The Egremont.

The Salvation Army Carol Concert Sun 11 Dec 3pm. Get into the Christmas mood with The Salvation Army, raising money for Worthing Community Work. Featuring well-loved carols and a variety of Christmas music. Assembly Hall. £5 Tangent Sun 11 Dec 4pm. The George & Dragon.

Christmas Classics with Blake Mon 12 Dec 7.30pm Brit-Award winning vocalists BLAKE for their celebrated Christmas show, featuring festive songs in beautiful

trio harmony, video projections & the group’s famous fast-paced comedy banter. Connaught Theatre.

Price: £21.50, Concession £19.50, Friends £18.50 Roy Wood and His Band Tue 13 Dec 7.30pm. Classic hits from The Move, plus others from his extensive back catalogue including California Man, See My Baby Jive, I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday and much more. Support from The Vals.

Assembly Hall. £29 S Club Party Thurs 15 Dec 4-7pm. Christmas Party in Montague Place with entertainment. At 5pm, S Club Party will perform all their hits. Plus other local bands and acts and late night shopping.

The Magic of Motown Fri 16 Dec 7.30pm. Supersensational nationwide tour honours the 50th anniversary of chart-topping single Reach Out I’ll Be There. Assembly Hall. £27, Concs £25, Friends £23, Child £13 DJ Tres Femme (Christmas Party) Sat 17 Dec 9pm-2am. Spinning the best Soul, Funk & Reggae Vinyl Tunes. The Alehouse & Kitchen.

FREE Jazz on Stage Sat 17 Dec 12.30-2.30. St Paul’s, Chapel Rd. FREE Christmas Carol Concert with Ovation Vocal Group Tue 17 Dec 7.30pm. A journey of Christmas nostalgia as Ovation sing all your favourite songs. FREE gift from Ovation & £1 off a mince pie and glass of mulled wine with your ticket. www.bookmeonit.co.uk (booking fee applies) Or from Mitch on

Draw a cracking crowd

Advertise in

Get your event in front of 50,000+ readers!

Tel: 01903 686 100 option 1

01903 602 815 | 07788 497 779. £9 (no concs) Big Yellow Taxi Sat 17 Dec 9pm. The North Star, Littlehampton Rd. The Dumb Waiters Sat 17 Dec 9pm. West Worthing Working Men’s Club, Elm Grove.

Christmas Concert Feast of Festive Music Sun 18 Dec. Assembly Hall £9 Christmas Carol singing Mon 19 Dec & Tue 20 Dec. The Corner House, High St. Holly at Christmas ‘Buddy Holly & the Crickets’ chirrup away Mon 19 Dec Mark Daniels as Ultimate Bublé performs the biggest hits of Michael Bublé in this stunning tribute show featuring his live band with brass section.

Assembly Hall. £18.50, Concs £17, Friends £16, Buble and Bubbles Package £23.50 Worthing Folk Club Christmas Party Thur 22 Dec. All welcome at the John Selden Half Moon Lane Samurai Nights Xmas Party Fri 23 Dec 7.30pm Bar 42 St Paul’s Christmas Party Sat 24 Dec. FREE Christmas Party with Live Music Sat 24 Dec. The John Selden Half Moon Lane Small Charge on Door The Factory Reunion Wed 28 Dec. Bar 42 Sophie Shepherd Thur 29 Dec. The John Selden, Half Moon Lane FREE Never Stop Discotheque Sat 31 Dec. 80s Alternative Night with DJs. Welcome aboard the special NEVER STOP express train taking you from 2016 to your final destination of 2017 in comfort and style. Ticket price includes a glass of sparkling wine to see in the new year, plus snacks and nibbles from the buffet car (aka The Coast Kitchen) Café des Artistes. From £11 NYE party with Desperate Dan Band Sat 31 Dec. The John Selden pub Half Moon Lane. £5 NYE with Murdoch’s Crazy Eyes Sat 31 Dec 8.00pm. ATOM/MCE. St Paul’s, Worthing. See in the New Year with crowd pleasing pop, tear up the floor and leap into 2017.

Tickets from £22.50. Over 18’s NYE at 42 Sat 31 Dec 8pm. Bar 42 New Years Eve at Cheers II Sat 31 Dec 8.30-1am. Cheers ll Worthing New Years Eve at Worthing Golf Club

Listings Sat 31 Dec 9pm-1am. Worthing Golf Club Gangsters & DJ Micky Gangster Sat 31 Dec 7.30pm-1.30am. Ticket must be bought in advance, no ticket sales on the night. Includes a free finger buffet. £15 tickets available form clubcue leisure & Gangsters gigs The HB Band NYE gig Sat 31 Dec 8.30pm-12.30am.

Broadwater Working Men’s Club.

Beach House music club Every Thursday evening Live Music.

Beach House, Marine Parade.

Reggae Doctors 2nd Sat every month. Beach House, Marine Parade.

Beach Beats Last Sat every month. Beach House, Marine Parade.

The Cellar Arts Club Opening Dec. A new community initiative. Members only - sign up via email: cellarartsclub@gmail.com

JANUARY WSO: New Year Viennese Concert Mon 2 Jan 2.45pm. Traditional Viennese New Year Celebration with lots of your favourite Strauss Waltzes and fizzing Polkas and Galops. Assembly Hall. £19 – £28 Paul Jones & Dave Kelly Acoustics Blues Sat 7 Jan 8pm doors open from 7pm. Paul Jones and Dave Kelly’s tangled and colourful roots go way back into the true undergrowth of the tradition. As well as their own original material, they perform the work of the greats, ranging from Howling’ Wolf, John Lee Hooker through to Sonny Boy Williamson.

Southern Pavilion. £20 Suspiciously Elvis: Birthday Celebration Show Sat 7 Jan 7.45pm. One of the UKs favourite Elvis Presley tributes with full live band. All the classic Elvis hits plus classic album tracks, along with a DJ playing all Elvis tunes.

Assembly Hall. £21.50 Production times and Book tickets Richie solo vocalist Sat 7 Jan 8-11pm. Durrington Working Men’s Club – CIU. Any Event Listed for Free in:

Just add your events at: hereandnowmag.co.uk

HERE & NOW | page 39

Just Don’t Mention The C’ Word.

Remember, remember the 5th of November as the old rhyme goes. No, not because of all the fireworks, (although the wonderful people at Tide of Light did another sterling job this year at lighting up, not only the skies but the faces of thousands of people of Worthing).

But because it is at that exact moment, as soon as the last sparkler dies out, the bloody Christmas ads start on the box.

The tinselly lights go up and the manager of your local Tesco’s start digging out the Mariah Carey CD’s.

Every year it starts getting earlier. However, I do have to admit that the old ‘Well, you had better get dressed/ eat your veg/stop having a tantrum in the middle of the street, because I have Father Christmas on WhatsApp right now’, conversations with my four-year-old started around Halloween.

Joking aside, Christmas is also the time where you start to reflect on the good and the bad things that have happened in the last year. You raise a glass to the absent friends and family members that leave empty spaces around the dinner table and start counting your blessings for the good things you have around you.

Living in Worthing, we have a lot to be thankful for, namely being fortunate enough to be in the company of the some of the

COMMUNITY

people that live and work here, a few of which, we are telling the stories of in this issue.

Stories about the lovely team at Blueprint 22 delivering presents to some of the more mature members of the community.

The hard-working people at Sunny Worthing, who are busy beavering away ready for their awards show in Feb to help showcase local businesses.

The amazing Superstar Arts who founded Super Friends so people with a learning disability can meet up at local venues for nights out with friends.

And the frankly inspiring Worthing Churches Homeless Project whose vision of a community where no local person needs to sleep out and can fulfil their potential, should be applauded from the rooftops of those of us who are lucky enough to have one.

But think about this - How many Golden Oldies around you, have maybe spent Christmas by themselves and won’t have been out on the razz for a new year’s knee’s up in donkey’s years. - Answer? Far too many.

So, alongside the kidzone at the next event on N.Y.E at the Assembly Hall, we are making it OAP friendly. We will be playing classics from the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s and will be planning more foolishness than you can shake a walking stick at.

Give It Up And Turn It Loose: We are also going to be setting up a gift donation station for any unwanted Christmas presents or toys that the kids might have grown out of.

• This year’s must-have Barbie usurped last year’s unloved Ninja Turtles?

• Got chocolates that need shifting before you start the new diet?

Wrap and label them and bring them along for donation to local charities.

Calling All TotRockers

We want 70 & 80-year-olds DJ’ing and cutting a rug with the toddler massive, and because we are celebrating midnight at 6 pm, it suits everyone’s bedtime routine.

In your own small way, you too can do something to help. As some of you reading might know I run a series of family-friendly raves called TotRockinBeats TRB was born out of a need to give parents of young kids a desperately needed ‘night-out’.

So, if you have an elderly neighbour or family member, why not do the right thing and bring them along? Tickets for OAP’s are only £5 each - Why not buy one as a gift for a stranger and give them and your kids a memory to remember?

If you fancy volunteering to help with decorations, manning the gift station, dancing partners, drivers, etc. - drop me a line, at dan@dontbelievethehype.biz or @DBTHSocial on Twitter.

Until 2017. Keep safe, keep it real, keep calm, keep on keeping on, keep the faith and most importantly ‘keep em’ peeled’.

HERE & NOW | Page 40

Listings GENERAL EVENTS

DECEMBER Worthing Ice Rink Up to 27 Feb Fully covered rink ensures fun whatever the weather.

Special sessions during off peak times for younger children (under 4 years) to have a go when the ice is quiet. See worthingicerink.com/wp/ for info.

West End Gallery Christmas Shop Up to 18 Dec. Thurs-Sun 11am4pm. Featuring work of Sarah Sepe and Barry Williams with seven other local artists. West End Gallery, 87 Rowlands Road. Contact info@ worthingartstudios.com, 07734 348569.

From cocoa bean to chocolate bar Thurs 1 Dec 7pm. Join chocolatier, Dawn Shrives at Worthing Library for an evening learning about the history of chocolate and sample chocolate.

Worthing Library. £5 includes hot chocolate.

Energy Shop Fri 2 Dec 2 10.am-3:30 pm. Worthing residents can access practical free services and money saving advice, including a tariff comparison and switching service. Transition Town Worthing. Tel: 07792198665 www. ttworthing.org. Worthing Library Fri, from 10am to 3.30pm. (St Paul’s Arts Centre, Chapel Road on Wed).

JivePlay Annual Winter Ball Sat 3 Dec 8pm-midnight. Two rooms covering Modern Jive/West Coast Swing & Blues. See Jiveplay.co.uk/ events for further info. From £10.

Reflections From the Seaside, by Sue Harding Up to Sat 3 Dec 10am-5pm.

Except Sun 27 & Mon 28 Nov. An exhibition of original paintings and prints depicting the seaside, past and present. Sue Harding exhibition.

Colonnade House. Colonnadehouse. co.uk/event/reflections-seaside-sueharding.

Norman Sussex - Conquest, Castles & Town 3 Dec 10.30 – 12.30. William the Conqueror beat King Harold at Hastings… In-depth look at the huge changes wrought upon the county by the incoming Normans. Artefacts from Arundel and Bramber castles will be available for handling after the talk and refreshments are included. See www.worthingmuseum.co.uk for info.

Kids Run Free Sat 3 Dec 9am, please arrive 8.45am.

Running events for children on the first Saturday of the month. From toddlers to teens and everyone in between. No running experience required, simply turn up and have fun.

Victoria Park, BN11 4BD. FREE to take part, but don’t forget to register at: www.kidsrunfree.co.uk. 01926 336628.

Findon Valley Art & Crafts Group Sat 3 Dec & Mon 5 Dec 2 - 4pm. A weekly Arts & Crafts Group. Findon Valley Residents’ Association Share a skill or learn a new skill. Every Mon/ Sat. Findon Valley Free Church.

01903 872004. £2 - £3. The Great Little Farmers Market Sat 3 Dec 9am - 2pm. Goring Road.

Quality, local produce. Great food and live music! Bad weather relocate to St John the Devine Church, just around the corner on Elm Grove.

Cheeki Monkeys Indoor market Sat 3 Dec 9.30-11.30am. Pre-loved baby and children’s items, plus craft and cake stalls etc. Woodlands Avenue, Rustington. Entry £1 children free. www.cheekimonkeys.co.uk.

Christmas Around the World Sat 3 Dec 9am-7pm. Indoor Christmas market. Experience the magic of Christmas around the world; entertainment, food & drinks & gifts.

Craft workshops and face painting for children. St George’s School of English, 58 Chapel Road (opp.

Museum).

The Bear And The Piano Sat 3 Dec 10.30am. David Litchfield will be drawing live - watch him create fantastic illustrations on our windows! David will create a special piece that Harpenden Books will be auctioning for Christmas to raise funds for Book Trust. Waterstones, Montague Street. FREE. Small Business Christmas Craft Fair Sat 3 Dec 10am-3.30pm. The Shoreham Centre, Shoreham-by-Sea Christmas Tree Festival Sat 3 Dec – Sun 4 Dec. A display of Christmas Trees decorated by local businesses and community groups at St Mary’s Church, Shoreham.

Christmas Bazaar Sat 3 Dec 1.30-4pm. Christmas Bazaar! Visit Santa’s grotto, enjoy live family entertainment, a market selling crafts, real Christmas trees, Christmas gifts, cards and decorations, mulled wine, mince pies and cakes. The Queen Alexandra Hospital Home, Boundary Road BN3 2BH. Tel: 01903 218444 The Heene Christmas Fayre Sat 3 Dec 10am - 3pm. Come along for a sprinkle of Christmas Cheer. Lots to see and do with plenty of children’s activities and Christmas Market stalls to grab some Christmas presents.

122 Heene Road. Worthing BN11 4PL. www.heenecommunitycentre. org FREE. Christmas Tree Festival Sat 3 Dec 10am - 6pm / Sun 4 Dec 11am - 6pm. Join Worthing Churches Homeless Project as we celebrate

Christmas in style by filling St Mary’s Church in Shoreham with beautifully decorated trees & crafts stalls and cake! Church Street, Shoreham by Sea, BN43 5DQ. Macmillan Charity Night Sat 3 Dec 7.30-11.30pm. Music, dance & fish & chips. Wear something green. Tel: 07977130355. Broadwater Working Men’s Club. £10.

So this is Christmas Sun 4 Dec 10.30am-4pm A magical day out for all the family. In aid of St Barnabus House. Over 70 stalls, inc. face painting, café, Elsa & her princess. The Charmandean Centre, Forest Road. Tel: 01903 254777 www.thefairytalefair.co.uk Artists Networking Breakfast Wed 7 Dec 9.30am. An informal get together for local artists- everyone welcome. The Denton, Marine Parade.

Open Studios at Worthing Art Studios Sun 4 Dec 11am-4pm. Resident artists and guest artists will show their art work. Ideas for original Christmas presents. Festive refreshments. Free Parking. Worthing Art Studios, Unit 2 King Edward Close, King Edward Avenue BN14 8DJ Networth Meeting 7 Dec 6pm-9pm. Informal networking, Christmas party.

Alehouse & Kitchen, High Street.

Comfort & Joy Fri 9 Dec 7-8.30pm Davison Worthing Youth Concert Band are performing a Christmas concert.

Refreshments & Raffle. Davison High School. dwycb.com Tel: Mrs Pereux 01903 505879. £5 Record Fair & Vintage Clothing Sale Sat 10 Dec noon-5pm. Train of Thought. Vinyl stalls, cds, dvds memorabilia, Vintage Clothing stalls.

St. Paul’s, Chapell Road. FREE. Saturday Tea Dance Sat 10 Dec 7-10pm. Waltz, Tango, Foxtrot, Rumba, Quickstep, Sequence Dancing, Jive and Cha Cha. Heene Community Centre. Join for £8.00 membership. £3.20 per session (includes a tea or coffee).

Christmas Movie Night Sat 10 Dec Book a limited private booth or an area upstairs in front of the giant projector. FREE entry & popcorn. 01903 238392 or email tenbooking@hotmail.co.uk. 10 Cocktail Bar, High Street. Over 18s.

Johnny loves June Christmas Vintage and Handmade Fair Sun 11 Dec Sun 11am-4pm.

Festive Vintage and Handmade Fair. Over 25 stalls with fabulous vintage and handmade treasures, live entertainment, tearoom. Craft activities too! Worthing Dome, Marine Parade. Tel: 07886 115658.

£1 entry, kids FREE. Open session for all under 4s to come and play Sun 11 Dec 1.45-4.45pm. Heene Community Centre, Heene Rd. Open session for all under 4s to come and play whilst raising money for to Chestnut Tree House. All proceeds donated. Mel & Andy @ Tiny Tinkers.

01903 209997.

Worthing & District Society of Model Engineers Public Running Sun 11 Dec 2-5pm. A variety of 5 inch gauge live steam and diesel outline electric locomotives provide the motive power. at Field Place The Boulevard, Worthing. Rides cost 50p each.

I Can’t Stop Drawing Tue 13 Dec-Sat 17 Dec. Exhibition of original pen & ink drawings by Michelle Dawson. Michelle will also draw live – check times on Facebook Colonnade House.

The Beach House Christmas charity quiz Wed 14 Dec 7.30pm. Quiz, raffle and chance to win a hamper worth approx. £250. Raising funds for Superstar Arts. The Beach House, Marine Parade.

The Royal Arcade panto themed late night shopping 15 Dec. Santa, dress up competition, circus workshop, charity raffle.

Christmas market with music and dancing.

WCHP Christmas Carol Service - Out of the darkness Thurs 15 Dec 7:30pm. An evening of carols and festive celebration with Worthing Singers Rechoired and students from the Regnante School of performing arts who will perform and lead us in our carols. Clients of WCHP will share readings and poems.

St Symphorian’s Church, New Road, Durrington.

Santa’s Coming!

Sat 17 Dec 10am - 2pm. Santa will be visiting PRP Windows. 221-223 Tarring Rd, Worthing BN11 4HW 01903 201822 Worthing Emporium Market Sat 17 Dec 9am-5pm. Every 3rd Saturday the Emporium brings you a fresh contemporary outdoor market in the town centre offering craft, food, upcycled and vintage goodies.

Cuban Salsa Sun 18 Dec 6.20-11pm. Salsa Devotion. The Parrot, Warwick Street. £4-9.

Winter Wonderland Mon 19 Dec - Fri 23 Dec 11am6pm. Step into a world of magic and wonder this Christmas. Climb aboard the Wonderland Train, then visit Santa in his Christmas Grotto and receive a fabulous gift!

Fun Christmas activities, a Frozen themed bouncy castle and more.

HERE & NOW | Page 41

Book ticket & time to see Santa in advance. Field Place Manor House, The Boulevard. Tel: 01903 446401 www.southdownsleisure.co.uk £12.50 per child and adults go free!

Decking the Halls Wed 21 Dec 10.30am-12pm. 7-14 years. Be inspired by Victorian Christmas decorations in the Museum collection and make your own.

Worthing Museum. £5.

Christmas Cards Thurs 22 Dec 10.30am-12pm. 5-11 years. Look at our Museum Collection of Christmas cards and make your own. Worthing Museum. £5.

Sompting Village Morris Dancing Sat 24 Dec 11:30am. The traditional dance of England with all its colour, energy and fun. The Black Horse, Findon.

Wrestling Wed 28 Dec 7.45pm. High-flying action from the top rope and beyond featuring the giants of the grappling game. Show presented in connection with the Mayor of Worthing’s Charity Appeal. Assembly Hall. £10 (advance), £12-£15 (door) Starlets Burlesque Show Thurs 29 Dec starts at 8pm, doors open 6.45. Dawn Gracie hosts an evening of hilarity and high kicking, award winning burlesque and cabaret

performances. Worthing Piers Southern Pavilion. Tickets www. worthingpier.co.uk or the Southern Pavilion in person. £22.

TOT & OAP ROCKING BEATS Sat 31 Dec 4-7pm (Midnight at 6pm).

Get your sparkly dancing shoes on and join the TotRockinBeats crew for a massive N.Y.E family-friendly house party. Assembly Hall. Adult £15.00, Child (Aged 3 to 15) £10.00, Senior Citizen £5.00, (Under 3’s are free but require a ticket, please call the Box Office).

Everyday

Ensembles

Specialising in Group Piano and Keyboard Lessons

“A fun and motivational way to share our passion for music with others”

Only £9.90/45mins

Call Shelley on 01903 770315 or 07711 284850

www.everydayensembles.co.uk

JANUARY Sompting Village Morris Dancing Sun 1 Jan 12pm. The traditional dance of England with all its colour, energy and fun. The Richard Cobden, Worthing.

Board games group Every Thurs 2pm-3.30pm. Worthing Library. Go along for an afternoon of fun and informal game playing.

Scrabble, card games and many more. Take a friend or meet some new ones, all welcome. Just turn up!

(01903 704809) worthing.library@ westsussex.gov.uk

To advertise in HERE & NOW CALL TODAY 01903 686 100 option 1

HERE & NOW | Page 42

Win a family ticket for 4 to an amazing Christmas show!

CHANCE TO WIN

Kipper’s Snowy Day 19-29 Dec | Connaught Theatre

Kipper and his best friend Tiger go on an adventure in the snow – but on the way they lose their friend Arnold in a terrible storm. Will they find him? And will they find their way back home?

Based on the award-winning Kipper stories by Mick Inkpen, Slot Machine present the first stage adaptation of these well-loved books. Filled with original songs and music, gorgeous puppetry and gentle humour, this warm-hearted Christmas show is perfect for children and their families.

CHANCE TO WIN

Win a year’s free membership to Worthing Film Club Want to watch a brilliant film at the Connaught Studio for free every month?

Want to have free access to a DVD library of over 600 films from around the world?

This month we’ve teamed up with Worthing Film Club who’ve agreed to give away a whole year’s membership to the lucky person who can name three films that Worthing Film Club have screened during 2016.

All correct answers will go into the hat and the lucky winner Any Event Listed for Free in:

Just add your events at: hereandnowmag.co.uk

will be emailed before Xmas with a fine voucher for a year’s membership worth £35 (make an excellent Christmas gift..... for yourself!)

Your answers and contact details must be received by us before midnight Monday 19 Dec. One entry per person. The winner will be notified by email or phone by Wed 21 Dec. Email: competition@ hereandnowmag.co.uk To be entered Worthing Film Club must be in the subject header. www.worthingfilmclub. blogspot.co.uk Facebook @worthingfilmclub

For a chance to win, see Kipper’s Snowy Day post on our Facebook page @HereAndNowMagazineWorthing.

Competition closes Midnight, Thurs 8 December 2016. The lucky winner will be notified on Facebook on Fri 9 December.

Listings CINEMA DECEMBER

Aidan Goatley: 10 Films with My Dad Thurs 1 Dec 7.30pm. Inspirational comedy incorporating stand-up comedy and film. Connaught Studio. From £5.50.

Hook (U) Sat 3 Dec 10.15am. Peter Pan is a cut-throat merger and acquisitions lawyer, married to Wendy’s granddaughter. Connaught Theatre. £2.50.

Sully (12A) Sat 3 Dec 4pm, 6.15pm, 20.30pm to Thursday 8 Dec 8.30pm. Tue 6 Dec 4pm (MM), 18.15( SUB). Thu 8 Dec 4pm (MM). The “Miracle on the Hudson”. Dome Cinema.

Midweek matinee £3. See Dome for other prices.

Sully (12A) Silver Screen.

Mon 5 Dec 11am. The “Miracle on the Hudson”. Connaught Theatre. £4.

ROH: The Nutcracker (12A) Thu 8 Dec Live 7.15pm. Encore Sun 11 Dec 2pm & Mon 26 Dec 6.30pm. The Royal Ballet, danced to Tchaikovsky’s magnificent score. It is Christmas Eve and Drosselmeyer the magician sweeps young Clara away on a fantasy adventure in which time is suspended.

Connaught Theatre. From £13.50.

Moana Sat 10 Dec 11am. For families with autistic children only. An adventurous teenager sails out on a daring mission to save her people.

Siblings welcome - parent/carer must attend. CEA cards cannot be used on these screenings. Film starts at 11am (no adverts or trailers). Dome Cinema. All tickets £2.50.

Arthur Christmas (U) SMP Sat 10 Dec 10.15am. Arthur Christmas reveals the incredible, never-before seen answer to every child’s question: ‘So how does Santa deliver all those presents in one night?’ No Adults admitted without a child. Connaught Theatre. £2.50.

The Accountant (15) Silver Screen.

Free T&C served from 10:30am.

Mon 12 Dec 11am. Christian Wolff is a mathematics savant with more affinity for numbers than people.

Connaught Theatre. £4.

No Man’s Land (15) NT: Thu 15 Dec 7pm Live. Encore Fri 30 Dec 1pm. Following their hit run on Broadway, Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart return to the West End stage in Harold Pinter’s No Man’s Land, broadcast live to cinemas from Wyndham’s Theatre, London. The broadcast will be followed by an exclusive Q&A with the cast and director Sean Mathias.

Connaught Theatre from £13.50.

HERE & NOW | Page 43

Returning to Neverland.

It’s Panto Season at Worthing Theatres… Oh Yes It Is! Panto at The Pavilion is definitely going to hook audiences of all ages this year as it’s anchors away and sails set for the launch of The Pantomime Adventures of Peter Pan. Worthing Theatres are once again teaming up with Paul Holman Associates, one of the country’s leading pantomime producers, to bring a show packed with all the comedy capers, colourful costumes and creative scenery that make pantomime so magical!

The JM Barrie classic tale of the boy who refused to grow up gets plenty of 21st century treatment, with spectacular flying sequences and the introduction of the essential pantomime dame, Able Mabel. With a fine production team, flying and special effects, splendid costumes and scenery, and good old fashioned slapstick, this pantomime has something for everyone.

Worthing Theatres have announced

that their official charity partner for The Pantomime Adventures of Peter Pan will be local children’s hospice Chestnut Tree House. The charity will have a collection stand throughout the 6 week run at the Pavilion Theatre.

As well as raising funds for Chestnut Tree House, ticket sales for Peter Pan contribute to Great Ormond Street Children’s Charity, as the pantomime adaptation is based on the original story by J.M Barrie.

The Pantomime Adventures of Peter Pan Fri 2 Dec 2016 - Sun 8 Jan 2017.

2 Performances per day, times vary.

Pavilion Theatre, Marine Parade, Worthing.

01903 206 206 or www.worthingtheatres.co.uk £12.50 to £24.50

Listings Get Santa (U) SMP Sat 17 Dec 10.15am. A father and son who team up to save Christmas once they discover Santa Claus sleeping in their garage after crashing his sleigh and finding himself on the run from the police.

No Adults admitted without a child.

Connaught Studio. £2.50.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG) Sun 18 Dec 10.15am, Fri 23 Dec 9pm. Christmas classic from the deranged mind of Tim Burton.

Connaught Theatre. £4.

Muppets Christmas Carol (U) SMP Fri 23 Dec & Sat 24 Dec 10.15am.

A retelling of the classic Dickens tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, miser extraordinaire. Connaught Studio. £2.50.

Look out for other films at the Dome as they become available.

THEATRE & CINEMA

THEATRE DECEMBER

The Pantomime Adventures of Peter Pan Fri 2 Dec 2016 - Sun 8 Jan 2017.

The JM Barrie classic tale of the boy who refused to grow up gets plenty of 21st century treatment, with spectacular flying sequences and the introduction of the essential pantomime dame, Able Mabel. 2 Performances per day, times vary.

Pavilion Theatre, Marine Parade, Worthing. 01903 206 206 or www. worthingtheatres.co.uk £12.50 to £24.50 Band of HM Royal Marines Fri 2 Dec 7.30pm. Leading maritime charity Seafarers UK with the Band of Her Majesty’s Royal Marines Collingwood. Worthing Assembly Hall. £19.50, Concessions £18, Friends £16.50 Ubu Roi Wed 7 Dec 2016 8pm-10.30pm.

“Isn’t injustice just as good as justice?” Join us on the absurdly grotesque killing spree/sex-capades

of one man...a man who promises to make Poland great again! A daring new adaptation of Alfred Jarry’s 1896... Jubilee Hall, 96 South Street, Lancing BN158AJ. Tel: 07500 554005. From £7.

Sleeping Beauty The Pantomime 7 Dec - 11 Dec 7.30pm-10pm (Matinee Sat & Sun 2.30pm).

Brilliantly funny Traditional Pantomime by Durrington Theatrical Society. Barn Theatre Field Place, Durrington, BN13 1NP. Tel: 01903 872073. £9-12.

Beauty and the Beast Pantomime Wed 14-Sat 31 Dec. Ropetackle Arts Centre, Shoreham-by-Sea BN43 5EG. Tel: 01273 464440.

Magical, magnificent tale of Beauty & The Beast. With CBeebies star Rebecca Keatley starring as the Magical Mirror (through voice and projection). For full details and to book tickets visit the Ropetackle Centre website.

Henning Wehn: Westphalia is Not an Option Sat 10 Dec 7.30pm Join German Comedy Ambassador Henning Wehn for an evening of Teutonic jolliness at its best. This time Henning’s having an unbiased look at immigration. Connaught Theatre. £18.50

Father Christmas Needs a Wee Sat 17 – Sun 18 Dec 11am & 2pm After two sell out years in Worthing, Father Christmas is back on his rounds… and he still needs a WEE! Connaught Theatre. £12.50, Family of Four £46, Group 20+ £10 Buddy Holly and the Cricketers Mon 19 Dec 7.30pm Buddy Holly and the Cricketers once again herald in the Yuletide festivities with Holly at Christmas. A fast, furious and funny feast of entertainment for all the family.

Assembly Hall. £18.50, Concessions £17, Friends £16 Kipper’s Snow Day Mon 19 – Thurs 29 Dec 11am & 2pm. Kipper and his best friend Tiger go on an adventure in the snow but on the way, they lose their friend Arnold in a terrible storm. Connaught Theatre. £13.50, Family of Four £50.

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COFFEE TIME

Crossword

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Use the 19 letters from the green squares to name a Christmas plant with brightly coloured bracts AND a fairy-like sweet in a Christmas ballet.

Crossword by Hazel 1. Slippery surface on the Steyne (3) 2. Foxy ---- and the amazing 4 Across cocktail (4) 3. No hideaway! This new grill on Chatsworth Road is a sizzler! (9) 4. The Andrews Sisters paired this with Coca-Cola for a tropical treat (3) 5. Performing Arts school in the centre for fame seekers (5)

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by Heaton House & Highgrove House 2. Famous reindeer with a glowing hooter (6) 3. Magic floor covering used by Inspiral group member Tom Hingley, perhaps? (6) 4. Prominent local artist sharing his Worthing faves in this issue (5) 5. Plus 6 Across for local not for profit offering creative opportunities (9) 6. Sssh! Jonathan’s suppers are under wraps (6) 7. Tunes for Christmas (6)

Clues across:

HERE HERE & & NOW NOW || Page Page 44 44

6. Plus 5 Down for a local not for profit offering creative opportunities (4) 7. Plus 8 Down for the partridge’s roost over Christmas (4) 8. Subterranean site for a new Arts Club on the seafront (6)

Clues down:

1. Residents of Heaton/Highgrove House will be crafting these for Christmas (5)

We’ve fiendishly hidden some of the answers in the magazine.

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HERE & NOW | page 47

The Worthing Bypass This column will not change your life The campaign to prevent the wind farm on Highdown Hill is gathering pace due to little resistance from the developers (currently, and quite wisely, there is no intention to deposit a wind turbine on top of a Bronze Age settlement), hence the campaign is ahead. In the words of my three year old granddaughter “we are winningest”.

The inspirational idea to start a campaign against something that doesn’t exist was two-fold: a) it would put us on the front foot and b) we are likely to win. Ok, it’s actually three-fold but we’ll come to that later, in case your nonsense-detector overheats.

There is a grand British tradition of campaigning against things that don’t exist (too lengthy to list here), or in the case of the Campaign for Real Ale, for things that do already exist but they want more of, which is just greedy. One rather suspects that the beardy brotherhood are a bit put out by all those trendy microbreweries, but it serves them right for being hopping mad in the first place (keep up).

Anti-Heathrow Airport campaigners got it slightly wrong in that they started campaigning against a third runway after the first two had already been built.

You see where I’m going with this.

Let’s get the resistance started early. Just because nobody has been idiotic enough to suggest putting a 300-foot high whirly thing on top of Highdown doesn’t mean to suggest that they won’t.

It’s in their idiot’s charter: keep intelligent citizens guessing by

doing exactly what they wouldn’t expect you to do. It’s how Trump was invented.

Now, at this point I can hear the smarter reader (no, not you) begin to believe that they’re pealing back the labyrinth layers of this column to reveal the true hidden depths – campaigning for (or against) the Worthing Bypass.

Rather surprisingly, that is not the case at all; there are no hidden depths and the bypass will come to pass if it will.

Swedish snow-blind philosopher and Matrix fanboy fanatic (I postulate) Nick Bostrom hypothesised that we are very possibly a simulation put in place by a post human society running an ancestor simulation for their delectation. They’d have been better off watching a movie.

AND FINALLY...

The campaign to prevent the wind farm on Highdown Hill is gathering pace

No, let us concentrate on the here and now and the strikingly real possibility of some imbecile planting a wind farm on Highdown. Well, more ‘possibility’ than ‘real’ but we are here and now. Or are we?

The third triangle of the threefold trilemma is that we are in a simulation. The idea was touted by Swedish philosopher Nick Bostrom after watching the Matrix (this might not be true but the Matrix came out in 1999 – his theory came out in 2003, so go figure). For those who are unfamiliar with the Matrix, I’d stop reading now.

For those who are familiar, I’d stop reading after the end of this paragraph and wake up for goodness sake, build yourself an underground bunker and prepare yourself for Armageddon! (This was something I was seriously considering when the Russian armada floated past until I remembered I live in a flood risk area).

For those of us left (that’s Matilda and I), the best bit’s coming up…

But I like the theory. Gives you leeway. If you screw up, you know that it doesn’t matter. If you’re winningest then you might get to move on to the next level – like real life Candy Crush (I presume) but less engaging.

I have an alternative approach.

I rather suspect that a 13 year old geeky super human teenager (I call her Matilda) from 2247 is observing my life as a history project. So I spend many hours filling my mind with nothing just to try and out-bore her. I’ve taken up meditation – I’m bored stupid but I sense I’m outlasting her – she’s in for a Maya-mind-mash.

I’ve also taken to starting abstract projects to confound the bejangles out of her, such as commencing a campaign against

something that doesn’t exist. Try taking that thesis to your teacher and expect to get higher than a C-. Ha! They may even pull the plug on the whole project, which I suppose is slightly worrying. Doh! So I’ve upped the ante, splitting the campaign by organising a sub-committee to lobby for a lighthouse on Highdown (it makes sense if you live in Ferring; who needs streetlights when you have a hundred thousand watt spotlight blinding all the foxes?).

The fallout is that I’ve become the subject of my own disdain.

I sense cognitive dissonance from the heavens. I’m definitely winningest.

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