Mamas&Papas February 2016

Parenting... Your Way!

M A M A S

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VOLUME 8 NO 74 FEBRUARY 2016

& P A P A S

TODDLER CODE

Parent i ng ... You r Way!

HOW BABIES RECEIVE TOUCH BABY MASSAGE

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www.mamasnpapasmag. com

THE ART OF BIRTH ACROSS THE GLOBE

FE BRU A RY 2016 • V o l 8 • N o 7 4

BEST PUMPING PRACTICE FOR BACK AT WORK

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NTOMBI NGCOBO

PUTS FAITH & FAMILY FIRST

BRAVING THE COUPLES’ THERAPY COUCH TOGETHER

PRIORITY PRESCHOOL! Select the right one for your child

ADHD IS MORE COMMON THAN YOU THINK

PRE-PREGNANCY | PREGNANCY | LABOUR & BIRTH | BABIES | TODDLERS | PRESCHOOLERS | SPECIAL NEEDS | WORKING MOMS & DADS February 2016 Cover.indd 78

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Mamas & Papas | February 2016 Cover

Model: Ntombi Ngcobo Directed By: Tumi Mdluli Assistant: Tebatjo Manamela Photographer: Gareth Jacobs 082 424 1188 www.garethjacobs.com Hair & Make-Up: Lucoh Mhlongo lucohm@gmail.com Dressed By: Stuttafords Model’s own accessories

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64 Your features

On the cover

12 Testing Positive For Pregnancy

33 How Babies Receive Touch And Baby Massage

16 Knowledge Is Power When It Comes To Prenatal Screening 30 The Art Of Birth Across The Globe 38 It’s A B...Baby! Birth Announcements Explored 56 Love Is A Language

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44 Cracking Toddler Code 52 Priority Preschool! Select The Right One For Your Child 60 The Restless Child: ADHD Is More Common Than You Think 64 Ntombi Ngcobo Puts Faith And Family First

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70 Braving The Couples’ Therapy Couch Together M a m a s & Pa p a s

Contents_Feb 2016.indd 1

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Mamas & Papas | February 2016 Section guidelines 12 Pre-Pregnancy 16 Pregnancy 30 Labour & Birth 33 Babies 0-1 year 44 Toddlers 2-4 years 48 Preschoolers 5-6 years 60 Special Needs

19 Preggy Diaries 28 Preggy Fashion 36 Philips AVENT Hall Of Fame 41 What’s in a Name?

47 Gogo’s Advice

74 Family Law Veerash Srikison 79 DeConstruct To Construct Fumani Shilubana | FatherFigureZA 80 Cancer Column Zoleka Mandela 92 Motoring Katherine Swift

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48 Kids’ Summer Fashion 55 Kids’ Voices 75 Parents With Pizzazz

In every issue

78 Reviews

08 From the Editor’s Pen

81 News & Tips

10 Contributors

82 Real-Life Story

11 Your Letters

84 Your Exercise

96 Stockists List

86 Your Recipes 90 Your Travel 94 Baby Shower

Your columnists 15 Fertility Dr Antonio Rodrigues 26 Your Gynaecologists Dr Herman Netshidzivhani & Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner 42 Your Paediatrician Dr Ashraf Ahmed

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COVER: PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. HAIR & MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLOGO. DRESSED BY: STUTTAFORDS. ACCESSORIES: MODEL’S OWN., ©ISTOCK.COM, QUORN.

Your regulars

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64 Working Moms & Dads

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1. Bikowski J. Update on Prevention and Treatment of Diaper Dermatitis. Practical Dermatology for Pediatrics. 2011 July/August: 16-19.

2. Putet G, Guy B, Anders P, Sirvent A, De Bony R, Girard F. Effect of Bepanthen® Ointment on the prevention and treatment of diaper rash on premature and full term babies.

Realites of Pediatriques. 2001; 63:33-38.

3. De Bony R. Introduction to New Nappy Rash Expert Panel. Asia Pacific Workshop. February 2004.

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Parenting... Your Way!

CEO of Kwenta Media & Founding Editor of Mamas & Papas

Nawaal Nolwazi Mdluli

Managing Editor Copy Editor Features Editor Features Writers Fashion & Beauty Editor Fashion Assistant

Tracy Maher Nicky De Bene Loren Stow Cathrine Versfeld, Thina Mthembu, Hlulani Masingi Tumi Mdluli Tebatjo Manamela

Designer Junior Designers Digital & Web Specialist

Lelethu Tobi Asanda Mazwi, Siphokazi Masele Lekeke Mahlo

Sales & Business Development Team Business Development & Production Manager Sales and Business Development Manager Marketing/PR & Events Operations & Finance Manager Administrator Office Drivers Advisory Board

Columnists

Contributors

Publisher Physical Address

Postal Address Websites Subscription Queries Advertising Editorial Information & Enquiries Printers Distribution

Nuraan Motlekar Monice Kruger Mbalenhle Fakude Kelly Moyo Tebatjo Manamela Yusuf Msinyi, Gabriel Mashishi Grace Masuku, Mohammed Bhabha, Lethepu Matshaba, Dr Herman Netshidzivhani, Dr Ashraf Ahmed, Dr Bongani Khumalo, Dr Alessia Gioliano, Major-General Jackie Modise, Maria Sterrenberg, Dr Sumayya Ebrahim, Veerash Srikison, Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner, Dr Antonio Rodrigues Dr Ashraf Ahmed, Dr Antonio Rodrigues, Veerash Srikison Dr Herman Netshidzivhani, Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner, Zoleka Mandela, Fumani Shilubana Peta Daniel, Claire Maher, Katherine Swift, Nicky Manson, Sr Yolanda Mpilo, Mary Moore, Dr Sumayya Ebrahim Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. Fourways View Office Park, Block C, First Floor, Cnr Sunset Ave and Sunrise Blvd, Fourways Tel: 011 467 5859, Fax: 011 467 2808 or 086 672 6468 Mamas & Papas: P.O. Box 4437, Dainfern, 2055 www.mamasnpapasmag.com / www.kwentamedia.com subs@mamasnpapasmag.com advertising@mamasnpapasmag.com editorial@mamasnpapasmag.com info@mamasnpapasmag.com / info@kwentamedia.com

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Mamas & Papas Magazine, TV show, Website and Webzine are 100% owned and published by Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. The editor and publisher reserve the right to alter copy and visual material as deemed necessary.

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M&P|from the editor’s pen

e are going back to the days of Abraham and Sarah, and revisiting the age of miracles.

That with which we are familiar are no longer as we know them and it is time to rewrite the scripts of our hearts. In Genesis 21, there is a narrative where the 90-yearold Sarah and her 100-year-old husband, Abraham, conceived a child together. They became parents in their old age, redefining the days of wonder and everything that was believed to be true about conception.

Late pregnancies, particularly those that make us rethink everything we know about a woman’s life cycle, are not just a thing of the past anymore. Thanks to the continuous advancements in technologies and cuttingedge infertility procedures, couples are now able to select from a variety of scientific interventions to usher new life into the world.

Although we still require the approval of our Creator as the ultimate giver of life, these scientific strides have dared us to reposition our mindsets and reconsider the limitations of our bodies, as women previously thought of as beyond their childbearing years are presented with opportunities to become biological mothers.

It is not only the ‘older-mother’ phenomenon that has the medical world abuzz, but also the fact that women are becoming mothers at a disturbingly younger age – girls in their preteen years are birthing babies when they are mere babes themselves. I am truly perturbed when I see nine-year-olds with well-developed breasts and hear of them starting menses at such a tender age – it seems to me that they have been robbed of years of their childhood and

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while our words deny it, the truth is that society does look at and treat these young ‘girl-women’ differently!

Our young girls have become victims and who is to blame? I strongly believe that some of the accountability must be apportioned to the foods we consume – foods that are loaded with growth hormones, artificial preservatives and other toxins. From ‘farm to table’ is not the simple concept it used to be, and parents need to seriously consider the nutrition they provide for their families. I am acutely aware of this as my daughter will soon be entering this preteen phase and my fears will become our reality.

The definition of a mother is broadening as the age range increases, single households become the norm and same-sex couples are afforded the right to raise children. But how is society equipped to deal with the new motherhood reality?

Do we have the resources to educate mothers across the spectrum and provide the unique, individual support to which

the new mother is entitled? The future is here and now… we need to re-evaluate what it means to be a mother and adjust and negotiate the roles that technology and human conception will have in our new understanding of motherhood.

One thing, however, will not change… mothers are the cornerstones of society and we need to provide them with the right support from as early as the pre-pregnancy stage to ensure they have a phenomenal journey of memorable moments.

IMAGES: ©KWENTA MEDIA, WWW.MOMORIALCARDS.COM.

RETHINKING THE JOURNEY OF MOTHERHOOD

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M&P|contributors FERTILITY COLUMN

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Dr Antonio Rodrigues MBBCH(Wits) FCOG(SA) MBA(Henley)

CANCER COLUMN

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 Infertility specialist, founder developer and director of Medfem

Zoleka Mandela

Fertility Clinic, along with fellow directors Dr Johan van Schouwenburg and Dr Johan van Rensburg.  Co-author of the book Faster, Better, Sicker and codeveloper of StaminoGro (Georen Pharmaceuticals).

The doctor’s special medical interests lie in lifestyle management to improve fertility. Dr Rodrigues is married to clinical psychologist Mandy Rodrigues and together they have six children, ranging from 28 to 6 years in age.

Although the unexpected and tragic loss of two of her children surpassed her battle with addiction, her early breast cancer diagnosis catapulted Zoleka from a journey of pain and struggle to one of hope, faith and inspiration.

Zoleka is an author, a motivational speaker and founder of the Zoleka Mandela Foundation.

Visit www.zolekamandelafoundation.org www.zolekamandelafoundation.org.

Contact Dr Rodrigues on 011 463 2244

FAMILY LAW

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DECONSTRUCT TO CONSTRUCT (FATHERHOOD)

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Fumani N. Shilubana Father, actor, producer, social entrepreneur, founder of Father Figure ZA and DeCon2Con Talks If the passion and talent that God gave me won’t make a better difference in people’s lives, then I don’t want to do anything.

@zolekamandela

@FumaniShilubana @FatherFiguresSA

zolekamandelafoundation

FumaniNShilubana FatherFiguresSA

DR HERMAN (GYNAECOLOGISTS)

FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST

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Dr Sumayya Ebrahim Dr Herman Netshidzivhani & Dr Birgit Katharine Bothner

Advocate Veerash Srikison Advocate Veerash Srikison is an internationally accredited mediator at Fair Practice in Johannesburg. For more information on mediation and how you can benefit from it, visit www. fairpractice.co.za.

Contact the doctors on 011 643 8492 or 011 480 4143

Contact Veerash on 011 046 2644.

DR DAD (PAEDIATRICIAN)

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Dr Ashraf Ahmed Dr Ahmed is a Johannesburg-based paediatrician and father of 5 children, Iman (16), Mehreen (9), and 8-yearold triplets Jazib, Taheem and Alman – conceived naturally!

His wife Aneesa is also a doctor.

Contact Dr Dad on 011 875 1845 or 011 875 1840

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Obstetricians and gynaecologists These two doctors are partners in work and in life.

They run a fertility clinic together at Park Lane Clinic in Johannesburg and have two children.

Dr Ebrahim is a registered psychologist in Johannesburg. She holds an Honours degree in Applied Psychology, a cum laude Masters degree in Psychology and a PhD. Her academic interests are Wellbeing, Emotional Intelligence, Positive Psychology, Critical Psychology and Infertility. Dr Ebrahim is both an academic and a practitioner and is the author of Investment in Self: A comprehensive well being construct.

Contact Dr Ebrahim on 078 864 2007 or email doctor@psychologiste.com.

Visit Psychologistse.com.

FATHERHOOD FEATURES

ED. PSYCHOLOGIST

James Fouché

Claire Maher

James is a well-known crime author from South Africa. Like most artists he has an appreciation for good food, good wine and good coffee. He loves to travel, and enjoys learning about different cultures and, more than anything, he loves to write. James and his wife, Marlene, live in Knysna and recently welcomed their baby daughter into the world.

Website: www.jamesfouche.com Blog: jamesfouche.wordpress.com @james_fouche

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Claire works fulltime at a school in Johannesburg and maintains a private practice. Claire is interested in attachment, barriers to learning and fair assessment practices in South Africa. In her free time, Claire enjoys drinking tea, cycling, photography, cooking and spending time with her family and friends.

Contact Claire on 071 150 1863 or clairemaher. psych@gmail.com.

@Educ_Psych

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M&P|letters

A SPECIAL BLESSING I want to thank Mamas & Papas magazine for your amazing section on Special Needs. It is really great that you are doing something to help break the stigma attached to various disabilities. During my pregnancy I never really considered that this would become something personal to me. I had a really easy pregnancy and all our scans and blood tests showed that we were expecting a perfectly healthy baby girl.

When our daughter arrived on 8 September 2015, we could not have been happier! Her birth was a lot easier than I had anticipated and she looked absolutely perfect to us. However, soon after she was born they took her to NICU, which we found confusing, as there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her. That evening the paediatrician gave us the shocking news that our little girl has Down syndrome.

My husband and I were devastated. This didn’t fit in with the image we had envisioned for her or our family.

In hindsight I am so thankful that I didn’t know about her diagnosis before she was born because we would have only stressed unnecessarily. Our daughter is so full of life! She is easy and content, yet stubborn and determined. She takes in so much around her, and is able to do more than we thought would be possible. The day of her birth was a surprise, but the huge blessing she is trumps her diagnosis in every way.

We are thankful that God has chosen us to be her parents and I really want to encourage expectant parents who are afraid of a diagnosis like Down’s to think twice before choosing to terminate. In many ways, your child will bless you and the amazing community of people who have special children like ours.

Linda-Jane du Toit

Find us on:

We want to hear from you Share your thoughts, opinions, suggestions and touching family stories. Log on to our website www.mamasnpapasmag.com or drop us a mail at letters@mamasnpapasmag.com.

We reserve the right to edit all letters for the purposes of publishing.

FACEBOOK Annelise Singh Third feature in Mamas & Papas magazine Dec 2015/Jan 2016 issue. I talk about how my third trimester went and the time leading up to #BabyEthan’s birth. Thank you Mamas & Papas magazine for sharing my pregnancy journey. #Blessed #HighlyFavoured #MamasAndPapasMagazine #Dec2015Jan2016 #ThirdTrimester

MOMMY-TO-BE I am soon to become a mommy and I love your magazine!

I need advice on my delivery. I am so excited and nervous because my first baby was born in 1999 – that is a big age gap between babies. I would also like to be featured in your magazine.

Gertrude Dakalo

thank you!

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M&P|pregnancy

TESTING POSITIVE FOR PREGNANCY Taking a pregnancy test may be one of the most important tests of your life. Katherine Swift looks at home pregnancy kits and how they work.

re you feeling some early pregnancy symptoms? Heading to the bathroom to take a home pregnancy test (HPT) can be nerve-racking, especially if you’re not sure whether or not you can trust the results.

Know when and how to take a HPT, as well as some of the possible pitfalls of home testing, how they work and the earliest you can try them.

WHAT IS A HOME PREGNANCY KIT? An HPT is a simple and quick way to initially determine if you are expecting. It shouldn’t be your last port of call, but it’s a good place to start. Dr Howard Manyonga, Chief Operating Officer at Marie Stopes South Africa, is an obstetrician and gynaecologist and says that these can be bought over the counter at your local chemist.

“A kit contains a stick or paper strip that tests a woman’s urine for the main hormone released during pregnancy – hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin),” he explains.

“After a sperm and egg meet in the Fallopian tube, the fertilised egg attaches itself to the wall of the uterus and begins to secrete hCG.” Whichever one you buy, test first thing in the morning.

Pop the stick in midstream, lay it flat and give it a few minutes to work. If it’s negative, try again in a few days if your period still hasn’t arrived. If you get a faint, isthat-what-I-think-it-is positive read, chances are you’re indeed pregnant. Wait a day or two and test again. And if it’s a clear positive, it’s time to celebrate!

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M&P|pregnancy KITS ON THE MARKET While you will see a shelf stacked with the various kinds of tests, essentially, they all work the same way – testing the urine for traces of hCG. Dr Manyonga says that no brand or model is better than another. “It’s about preference and budget, really. Some women really like the digital sticks with all the bells and whistles. These have a screen that reveals a + or – sign and can give an indication of the gestation of the pregnancy in weeks,” the doctor explains. “The simpler versions are more basic sticks or paper strips that just change colour to show a positive result.”

Dr Manyonga adds, “Be warned that where the models estimate how far along the pregnancy is, this, as well as the pregnancy itself, will need to be verified by a doctor or nurse. If you are planning to parent, it is important to schedule an antenatal appointment as soon as possible.”

AT WHAT STAGE WILL AN HPT WORK? Dr Manyonga says that the pregnancy hormone, hCG, doubles in amount every 48 hours, so while he always recommends testing early, too early can lead to inaccurate results. “The recommendation is testing no sooner than a day or two before your missed period – if not, a day or two later – to allow the body time to build up hCG. If you get a negative result and still think you might be pregnant, hold off a few days and then test again. Taking a test too early or with diluted urine can result in a false negative result when you are actually pregnant.

Everyone’s early pregnancy hormone level, like everyone’s body, is different. Time of day also plays a role. Your best bet is to use the test first thing in the morning to catch your first stream of urine, which is most concentrated,” Dr Manyonga maintains.

“Lastly, patience is a virtue when it comes to waiting for your result. It’s vital to follow the packet’s insert and not to check every two or three seconds.” He emphasises leaving it for two minutes, then you need to wait the full two minutes to be able to get an accurate

result. Try setting the timer on your phone and leave the test in another room while you distract yourself, to avoid peeking too soon.

Some HPTs claim to be sensitive enough to give you a positive result as early as five days before you would expect your next period and some women will have produced enough hCG to get a positive result at that point. So, if you’re anxious to know and don’t mind spending the money, go ahead and try it.

Lucy De Villiers, mom to daughter Sarah (6), says that she had false negatives but only when she tested before her period was due.

“The ones taken thereafter have always been accurate. I did a few tests and it showed quite quickly that I was pregnant, but I was four days late.”

“It’s about preference and budget, really. Some women really like the digital sticks with all the bells and whistles… The simpler versions are more basic sticks or paper strips that just change colour to show a positive result.”

ARE FALSE POSITIVES POSSIBLE? False negatives are far more common than false positives but it is technically possible, if rare, to get a positive result on a home test when you are not actually pregnant. “This can happen if you have had an early pregnancy loss or take a test too soon after using a fertility drug containing hCG. Menopause can also cause false positives in some instances,” says Dr Manyonga. One possibility is that you ovulated later in your cycle than you thought and took the test too early to get a positive result, so don’t assume that one negative result means you’re not pregnant. Just because you were positive early in your first pregnancy, doesn’t mean you’ll test positive early in your second one.

False positives can happen under certain circumstances: you had a miscarriage or a pregnancy termination in the previous eight weeks or have a molar pregnancy; you’ve taken a fertility drug containing hCG (used to induce ovulation in fertility treatments); you have a rare medical condition, such as an hCG-secreting tumor, or you’re using an expired or faulty test kit. If you have an early positive result and then get your period soon after, you may have had what’s sometimes referred to as a chemical pregnancy. This

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M&P|pregnancy

means a fertilised egg implanted in your uterus and developed just enough to start producing hCG, but then stopped developing for some reason. This form of early miscarriage usually happens when the fertilised egg has defects that prevent it from growing normally.

After a chemical pregnancy, your period may be a little heavier and a few days later than usual. When pregnancy tests were less sensitive than they are today, these very early losses were never identified. An ectopic pregnancy usually results in a positive pregnancy test, but occasionally shows negative because of lower hCG hormone levels. No matter what result you get from an HPT, call your doctor right away if you feel dizzy or faint, have abdominal pain (especially a sharp or stabbing pain in your abdomen or on one side of your pelvis) or have abnormal bleeding.

THE BEST WAY TO CONFIRM YOUR PREGNANCY Blood tests also measure hCG levels to determine pregnancy and are performed by healthcare professionals, generally to confirm initial urine test results. “For those who can’t wait, blood tests can also allow for early testing, from a week or two from the possible conception date. However, they also need to be sent away to the lab so do not provide instant feedback,” says Dr Manyonga.

l A qualitative hCG test simply checks to see if hCG is present. It gives a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and doctors often order these tests to confirm pregnancy as early as 10 days after a missed period. However, some of these tests can detect hCG much earlier. l A quantitative hCG test (beta hCG) measures the exact amount of hCG in your blood and can detect very low levels of hCG. Because these pregnancy tests can measure the concentration of hCG, they may be helpful in tracking any problems during pregnancy. They may also, in combination with other tests, be used to rule out an ectopic pregnancy or to monitor a woman after a miscarriage, when hCG levels fall rapidly.

For more information about pregnancy-related matters, visit www.mariestopes.org.za.

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“False negatives are far more common than false positives but it is technically possible, if rare, to get a positive result on a home test when you are not actually pregnant.”

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

Two types of blood pregnancy tests are available:

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M&P|fertility

STDs & FERTILITY Certain untreated sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs, can decrease fertility in both males and females.

TDs are spread through sexual contact with an infected partner through oral, anal, or vaginal sex. They are most prevalent in adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 24.

WORDS: DR ANTONIO RODRIGUES. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

BACTERIAL INFECTIONS Chlamydia and gonorrhoea are the most common bacterial STDs and are often described by doctors as ‘silent’ infections, because the majority of people diagnosed with chlamydia or gonorrhoea do not have any symptoms. Untreated chlamydia and gonorrhoea can adversely affect the fertility of both men and women.

In women, gonorrhea and chlamydia can cause cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix) or urethritis (inflammation of the urethra).

Left untreated, 10 to 15 percent of chlamydia infections will cause an upper genital tract infection in the uterus or the Fallopian tubes.

An infection in the upper genital tract is called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease or PID, which can be either asymptomatic or symptomatic.

When symptoms do occur, they can include pelvic pain, abnormal vaginal discharge, vaginal bleeding, nausea and fever. PID is a

particularly serious condition because it can permanently damage the uterus and the Fallopian tubes.

When eggs are released from the ovaries, they travel through the Fallopian tubes before being fertilised by sperm and implanted in the uterus. Fallopian tube scarring caused by STDs can prevent the egg and sperm from ever meeting, thereby inhibiting fertilisation.

The scarring also increases the risk for an ectopic pregnancy, a pregnancy inside the Fallopian tubes. An ectopic pregnancy can result if the scarring in the Fallopian tube prevents a fertilised egg from entering the uterus. An ectopic pregnancy is potentially life threatening because it can rupture the Fallopian tube.

In men, gonorrhoea and chlamydia also cause urethritis in men, the majority of whom do not display any symptoms. When symptoms occur, they can include dysuria, pain or redness around the opening of the penis, or spontaneous penile discharge.

Left untreated, the infection can spread up the genital tract and cause epididymitis, which is inflammation of the epididymis.

Recurrent or untreated infections can cause chronic epididymitis, which can lead

to infertility by damaging sperm mobility, function and sperm count.

VIRAL INFECTIONS HPV infection won’t harm your Fallopian tubes in the same way that chlamydia and gonorrhoea can — but certain treatments could make it harder for you to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. A cone biopsy, used to treat HPV infection of the cervix, can lead to hostile cervical mucous or premature delivery due to a the cervix being weakened.

HPV infection can now be prevented by both males and females being vaccinated against this viral infection, from as early as the onset of puberty.

CONDOM-WISE Some couples may think it is acceptable not to use a condom because the female is taking birth control and cannot fall pregnant. Others may not use protection because they trust that the other does not have an STD. However, even if you have sex just once without using a condom, you are putting yourself at risk of getting an STD. Be wise and condomise!

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M&P|pre-pregnancy

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER Pregnancy comes with many hilarious, and not-so-hilarious physical side effects. But something that is seldom discussed openly, is the emotional burden that all pregnant women experience as they wonder if their baby will be born healthy. Catherine Versfeld explains how medical advances in the field of prenatal screening have gone a long way to help ease the fears of mothers-to-be. efore the common use of ultrasound technology and advances in laboratory testing of blood and tissue samples, all mothers had to spend nine months hoping and praying that their baby would ‘come out okay’. Fortunately, today there are many problems – both major and minor – that can be detected by experienced obstetricians just by looking at your baby’s ultrasound results.

But what happens when they do see something and your doctor recommends further testing.

HOW DOES IT WORK? There are three main screening and diagnostic tests available in South Africa:

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M&P|pre-pregnancy 1. Amniocentesis is done at about 12 weeks of pregnancy and tests the cells found in the amniotic fluid from the womb.

Because fluid must be extracted from the womb in order to perform the test, it bears a risk to mother and child.

2. Chorionic-villus sampling (CVS) is also an invasive test that can be performed as early as 10 weeks, where cells taken from the placenta for testing.

3. Ultrasound screening bears no risk to mother or baby, and many things can be identified by looking at the baby in the womb. For example, the chances of Down syndrome can be detected with 80 percent accuracy by looking at the neck fold of the baby and any additional fluid in that area (also known as a nuchal translucency test).

WHEN IS SCREENING NECESSARY? Prenatal screening generally occurs in the first trimester of pregnancy.

As the chances of congenital problems are higher in older mothers, testing is recommended for pregnant women in their mid-thirties and older. Doctors also look for specific symptoms, family history or habits in parents that may indicate a higher chance of complications in the foetus. Under these circumstances, regardless of the age of the mother, screening will be highly recommended. Screening tests are different from diagnostic tests. Screening tests can only indicate the chances of various known problems and are always the first point of call, since they are not at all invasive.

“Screenings for various common disorders are provided free of charge at national hospitals and maternity clinics for mothers over the age of 35 years.�

Diagnostic tests can show whether or not the baby actually has a suspected condition. They require tissue samples from the placenta or amniotic fluid for analysis. The process of extracting samples for diagnostic testing bears risks for mother and child.

In some cases, diagnostic tests have been known to initiate premature labour. There is also a risk of harm to the baby (as in the case of an amniocentesis, where an injection needle must be inserted into the womb to extract the amniotic fluid).

WHY IS SCREENING IMPORTANT? Screenings for various common disorders are provided free of charge at national hospitals and maternity clinics for mothers over the age of 35 years. The South African Department of Health (DOH), with the support of organisations like Down Syndrome South Africa (DSSA), provide counselling for parents who have received confirmation of a genetic or congenital illness in their unborn baby. By knowing in advance what may lie ahead for their baby, parents are better able to plan and make arrangements with their medical aid and employers, and prepare friends and family.

Although one of the reasons for screening and diagnostic testing is to give parents a chance to consider terminating the pregnancy while there is still time, many health professionals and experts in the field do not recommend it. As it is not always clear what the M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|pre-pregnancy severity of a condition might be prior to birth, or how successfully the baby may battle these problems, it is still felt that termination on the grounds of prenatal screening is an extreme approach.

THE BENEFITS OF PRENATAL SCREENING Although screening will only come highly recommended under specific circumstances, pregnant women are at liberty to request screening. Doctors are more likely to recommend blood tests or ultrasound screening first, to ascertain if there is a need to look into diagnostic testing. Although it is possible that certain symptoms or conditions may be missed in the normal process of prenatal screening, getting the tests done can do wonders for a mother’s peace of mind.

On the other hand, if conditions or anomalies are found, plans can be made in advance. Specialists can be brought in to assess the information and formulate a strategy to help correct or mitigate the condition, particularly in the case of surgery for conditions like cleft palates or heart defects. This information can also be pivotal when compiling the birth plan, as home births, or sometimes natural birth, may become inadvisable.

“Specialists can be brought in to assess the information and formulate a strategy to help correct or mitigate the condition, particularly in the case of surgery for conditions like cleft palates or heart defects. This information can also be pivotal when compiling the birth plan, as home births, or sometimes natural birth may become inadvisable.”

In 2014 and early 2015, two prominent cases emerged in South Africa, related to prenatal screening. The first case involved a couple in Cape Town, who sued a prenatal care facility for incorrectly reading the results of a scan for Down syndrome in 2006. The doctor at the time told them that the chances were very slim. When the child was born with Down syndrome and a congenital heart defect later that year, the parents were completely unprepared. They sued the hospital for over R6 million in damages, claiming that they would have terminated the pregnancy, had they known. In early 2015, a Pretoria couple also sued two Pretoria-based gynaecologists and a pathologist for, once again, incorrectly stating that there was little risk of Down syndrome, and later being proven wrong when the child was born with the condition.

Both couples have come under fire for claiming that they would have terminated the pregnancies had they been given accurate information. Both children are now already about 10 years old. On the other hand, the mother in the Pretoria case insists that she is merely claiming damages in order to cover the costs of her child’s medical care, and the ongoing treatment of depression for her and her husband.

The opinion of the court (and later the court of appeals) concluded that although medical practitioners have the responsibility to give as much information as they can, they cannot be held responsible in the rare cases when screening results prove inaccurate. Although the Cape Town couple’s identity was kept a secret, the Pretoria couple’s wasn’t and they still suffer public criticism for their decision to sue.

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IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM. IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, VECTORSTOCK.COM, WWW.PARENTS.COM.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

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M&P|preggy M&P|preggydiaries diaries

ASHLYNE RAMLUKAN

WORDS AND IMAGE SUPPLIED BY ASHLYNE RAMLUKAN.

1st Trimester

y husband and I have known each other for at least 21 years of my life, 13 of which we’ve been married. We have a 12-year-old son and this has been my family for the last 12 years, although we’ve been hoping for an addition to the family since our Ashwin was three. Despite the doctor confirming that my husband and I could still conceive, we were still unsuccessful – after years of trying naturally and then using fertility medication.

What seemed to be the most difficult part of my life only became worse, as I went on to experience three consecutive miscarriages. Not understanding why my body was rejecting the pregnancies, I focused on the positive – the fact that I was now conceiving and every three months! My last miscarriage in January 2015 was also unexplained, leaving us with more questions as to what was going wrong. Shortly thereafter, I accepted a new job offer and we decided to stop trying for a while.

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On the first day at my new job, I enjoyed the endless supply of coffee at induction in an effort to help with the fatigue I was experiencing. I kept brushing it off as first-day jitters, not realising that my body was trying to send me a message. A few days later I finally got the message and soon we saw the first picture of our ‘bean’ at six weeks and five days. The biggest relief came when the doctor said: “All is looking good” followed by a “Junior is doing well” on our second visit. I thrived on any reassurance that my baby was fine, from the doctor’s report to seeing his movements or hearing his heartbeat.

This didn’t put an end to my fear of losing him, but I was not afraid to love him from the moment I knew he was there. Hubby and I chose not to share the news at that time, deciding to have faith and support each other through this pregnancy. Every sign or symptom of a potential problem had me on the phone to the doctor and his reassurance was comforting.

Fortunately, I progressed through this trimester with no pregnancy symptoms, except for tiredness. I immediately gave up tea and coffee and increased my water intake. Heels changed to flats instantly and I soon packed away tightfitting clothes when I noticed my baby bump start to develop towards the end of the first trimester. Our baby weighed perfectly at my 13-week scan and my fear began to subside. I could start to enjoy my pregnancy and we were able to share the good news. Now it’s just a case of waiting for our new addition.

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M&P|preggy |preggy diaries

his trimester was by far the most difficult and time seemed to move very slowly. We couldn’t wait for our little prince to make his debut as his small kicks and punches began to feel like those of a fully developed person. The countdown had already begun! At 36 weeks I experienced false labour and after a short admission to hospital, I was discharged. I couldn’t wait for the real contractions to come.

It’s been such a long wait and all we could think of was to have our little bundle of joy in our hands. Tshego and Tshiamo couldn’t wait to meet him and kept talking about how they would take good care of him and teach him how to play their favourite sports. Lehlogonolo and I were just as ready to get into a new routine of sleeping, eating and all the changes that newborn babies bring about.

My awesome husband, sisters-in-law and a few of my close friends planned a ‘Royal’ baby shower for me that was worthy of the theme. Friends and family that attended wowed everyone in their blue and white, in keeping with the royal blue, white and gold colour scheme. Beautiful memories were made that will forever live in our hearts.

I always felt heavy and tired, and

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eating made it worse! But despite my loss of appetite, my bump grew really bigger in the last month of my pregnancy.

I spent most of my days lying on the couch and bonding with our baby, rubbing my bump and poking back when he kicked, but I couldn’t sleep. It felt like he was just minutes away and I could already sense how active he would be.

Lehlogonolo stopped travelling much to make sure he’d be close enough for the arrival of our bundle of joy. Pregnancy has been a beautiful journey and all the love and support from my family made it even more amazing. The swollen feet and backaches were all worth it and came with the added perks of foot massages and back rubs, all supplied by my hubby.

By the 38th week, we were all eagerly anticipating our son’s arrival and everything was in order. The nursery was ready and the baby clothes were stocked up, along with all other baby necessities. We used to drive around with a packed bag just in case labour found us on the road. On 15 October 2015, two weeks before his due date, our little prince was born – Thorišo Tau Noah Mabitsela!

Every woman should experience the beauty of pregnancy – it’s a magical experience and is truly a gift from God. I wouldn’t mind going through it all over again, in a few years time of course!

WORDS AND IMAGE SUPPLIED BY RATILE MABITSELA.

RATILE MABITSELA

2015/12/11 9:24 AM

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M&P|pregnancy

TIPS FOR BEST PUMPING PRACTICE

Having navigated the first few months with your baby with great success, the next big step for many new mommies is going back to work.

But what if you’re not ready to wean yet, asks Catherine Versfeld.

Is it possible to work a full-time job while breastfeeding your baby? s The South African Department of Health (DOH), the World Health Organization (WHO) and every paediatrician and clinic sister will tell you, exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby’s life is highly recommended. But Statistics South Africa (SSA) will also tell you that there is a large percentage of South African women that have fulltime jobs. This presents a dilemma for breastfeeding mothers, and in a larger sense, for employers too. Although recommendations in labour law are moving towards a ‘breast-friendly’ mindset, the prospect of pumping breast milk at work is still daunting for many women.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE IT ALL? Like so many aspects of parenting, backto-work breastfeeding is subjective. Some mothers will laugh it off as ‘so easy, as long as you have a pump’, while others admit that it is difficult, uncomfortable, and ultimately frustrating. The overwhelming opinion of lactation specialists and nurses, however, appears to be that attitude and perseverance are the two primary keys to success. In all cases though, the ability to produce and pump a sufficient supply

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M&P|pregnancy of milk for your baby is at the crux of success. Many mothers have done it and pumping technology, modern storage methods, and a more sympathetic working environment are all contributing to the growing trend. It is absolutely possible to ‘have it all’, provided all your bases are covered.

“Although recommendations in labour law are moving towards a ‘breast-friendly’ mindset, the prospect of pumping breast milk at work is still daunting for many women.”

PREPARATION It’s all in the prep and the sooner you can train your body and baby, the better. By two to three months, your baby’s feeding schedule will be well established. This is the perfect time to get the ‘production line’ going. Exclusively breastfed babies are notorious for growth spurts and drinking faster (and more ferociously) from time to time. This is why you will need to build up a bank of frozen feeds for when you return to work. Initially, being able to pump a feed or two extra per day will set you on the right track.

The idea, once back at work, is to feed your baby first thing in the morning, then three banked feeds while you are gone, and then to feed fresh again as soon as you get home. This can be challenging, as many mothers recommend pumping a

last feed just before bed time too. The secret is to start slowly and as your milk supply increases over time, you will be able to pump more.

Training your baby will also take time.

In the case of demand-fed babies, it will be important to establish how many feeds they are drinking per day. This will give you an idea of how much you will need to pump. Although getting them into a routine will be hard at first, it is a great benefit and comfort to you and your baby when you return to work.

GEARING UP FOR THE BIG DAY If you have a nanny at home who will be taking care of your child while you are at work, it is important to start practising the exact routine at least a week in advance.

If your child will have a daycare mother, start attendance a few days before you return to work. Apart from giving you much-needed time off to prepare yourself for the rat race, it will also help your baby to get comfortable with the new routine.

In addition, it serves as an important step for the mother and aids with separation anxiety in advance.

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M&P|pregnancy Depending on whether you are going back to a familiar environment or embarking on a new job, if at all possible, it is important to pave the way. Don’t be afraid to mention your intentions to pump breast milk at work. By arranging the best times of day, and requirements with your boss well in advance, you will be more likely to find your needs accommodated.

This also minimises embarrassment or confusion when you need to leave your office area, or ‘disappear’ for 40 minutes at a time.

According to the South African Code Of Good Practice On The Protection Of Employees During Pregnancy And After The Birth Of A Child, Section 5.13, employers are strongly advised to facilitate breastfeeding (or pumping breast milk) where possible. Although this is just a guideline for employers at the moment, it bodes well for the future of labour legislation and breastfeeding mothers in the workplace.

It is important to remember that although many women have achieved success pumping breast milk at work, others do not find it so easy. Difficult shifts, circumstances in the workplace, or the demands of a full working day can lead to feelings of failure or incompetence. Keep the faith though; if supplementing with formula in the day becomes necessary, always remember that you can continue to breastfeed your baby at night for as long as you like.

“According to the South African Code Of Good Practice On The Protection Of Employees During Pregnancy And After The Birth Of A Child, Section 5.13, employers are strongly advised to facilitate breastfeeding (or pumping breast milk) where possible.”

CHEAT SHEET

PUMPING APPS

 Invest in a good-quality pump and use it regularly before going back to work, to get the hang of it.  A good sterilisation system, including bottles or freezer bags and an easy refrigeration container, is an excellent investment.  Remember to store milk in small quantities, as your baby will not always finish a full feed, and it is heart-wrenching when you have to throw too much away.  Insist on a conducive area at work. You will need a lockable door, a comfortable chair and refrigeration facilities. By campaigning for a ‘breast-pumping room’ at work, you will also be paving the way for future mothers.  Remember to pack plenty of breast pads and wet wipes, as you will be more engorged in the first few weeks.

Check out these apps to help you on your pumping adventure!

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Baby Sprout (Free for IOS) Mommy Log (Free for IOS) Baby Tracker 6 (Free for Android) iBaby Feed Timer (Free for IOS)

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, ITUNES, GOOGLE PLAY STORE, WWW.LANSINOH.COM.

WORKPLACE BACKING

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Ads.indd 8

2015/12/11 11:31 AM

M&P|dr herman

PROTECT YOURSELF DURING PREGNANCY Playing it safe is the only way to decrease your chances of getting sexually transmitted infections during pregnancy.

eing exposed to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) increases the risk of infections that can affect your pregnancy along with your baby’s health.

An STI can be a bacterial or viral infection that you get from having genital, oral, or anal sex with an infected partner. However, it is important to note that there are other ways to transmit these diseases, such as through the use of contaminated needles or other sharp instruments, contact with blood or open wounds of an infected person, or even sharing household items where bodily fluids are involved, like a toothbrush. Hepatitis B is one such virus that can survive outside the body for at least a week.

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Some STIs can be transmitted to your baby through the placenta, when your waters break or during labour and delivery. Newborn infections can be very serious and some may lead to long-term, irreversible health and developmental problems. Some STIs raise your risk of miscarriage, premature rupture of the membranes, preterm birth, uterine infection, and stillbirth. Many healthcare providers advise that the best way to protect yourself and your baby is by using a condom, although condoms can’t protect your from all possible STIs.

CONDOMS AND YOUR PREGNANCY Who should use condoms?

Pregnant women and their partners with the following risk factors should use condoms: l You or your partner have a history of STIs. lY ou or partner currently have an STI, although it is better to avoid sex during an active infection. lY ou or your partner are not in a mutually monogomous relationship. lY ou have intercourse with a new partner after getting pregnant.

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M&P|dr herman

 Roll the condom down until it’s completely rolled out, and if it’s inside out, throw it away and get a new one and start over.

Q. How can I tell if I’m allergic to latex condoms?

COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: THEFERTILECHICKONLINE.COM, WWW.PARENTMAP.COM.

Women who are allergic to condoms may experience the following symptoms of irritant vaginitis or inflammation of the vagina:  Rash around the vagina.  Swelling that might feel like the vagina is getting smaller or tighter during contact.  Itching and burning sensation that, although quite common at times, will be more pronounced after latex contact and may be combined with swelling and burning.  Odour and discharge after sexual intercourse or after a medical examination where latex gloves have been used by the doctor.

FACTS ABOUT NON-LATEX CONDOMS  They prevent reactions in those who are allergic to latex.  Lambskin condoms expire quicker than latex condoms.  Polyurethane condoms break more easily than latex condoms.  Lambskin condoms protect against pregnancy, but not STIs.

Q Do you know how to use a condom correctly? Consider the following:  Check the expiration date because condoms can dry and crack if they’re old.  Preferably choose latex condoms for maximum protection; alternatively, choose polyurethane if you or your partner are allergic to latex.  Store condoms away from heat and light, which can make them more likely to break.  Only use water-based lubricants with condoms.

The vagina is a self-cleansing unit that maintains its own balance of flora as a woman goes through her monthly hormonal changes. At times, bacterial vaginitis can be harmful, but it helps protect the body against harmful infections that may enter through the uterus into the Fallopian tubes and ovaries and lead to infertility. The most obvious way to avoid contracting STIs and HIV is to abstain from unprotected vaginal, anal, and oral sex, maintain a long-term mutually monogamous relationship, and make time for both you and your partner to get tested regularly for infections.

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M&P|preggy fashion OVERALL DRESS (WHITE), R399, COTTON ON. DENIM DRESS, R450, G.COUTURE, SPREE.

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DENIM SHORTS, R305, CHERRY MELON.

DENIM DRESS, R159, MRP.

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M&P|preggy fashion

TENCEL SHIRT DRESS, R999, WITCHERY, WOOLWORTHS.

CHAMBRAY SHIRT DRESS, R999, TRENERY, WOOLWORTHS.

DENIM SHIRT R129.99, MRP. DENIM SHIRT, R899, COUNTRY ROAD, WOOLWORTHS. MAMA DENIM BLOUSE, R349, H&M.

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SKINNY JEANS CHERRY MELON, R389, ZANDO.

MAMA DENIM SHORTS, R349, H&M. BOYFRIEND JEANS, R749, COUNTRY ROAD, WOOLWORTHS.

MAMA DENIM PLAYSUIT, R399, H&M.

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The Art Of Birth Across The Globe Nicky Manson, mom of two, discovers there is a whole other world of labour practices out there.

n South Africa, it is the norm to give birth in a hospital bed. We may have a C-section or we may choose natural delivery. However, in more recent years, there has been a conscious move towards more natural and holistic birth practices. Water has replaced the bed, midwives or doulas have replaced the gynae and meditation has replaced the meds.

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Women want to be in touch with themselves and their baby before, during and after the birth – but what about dad?

It’s interesting to note that men were not allowed in the hospital room during labour and birth until about 50 years ago. Today’s dad is present by holding his wife’s hand in the labour ward, the theatre or even jumping into the water bath. All in all, there is nothing unusual in our labour and birth

methods, but further afield lies a host of unusual and unique practices. While the elements of labour like contractions, dilation and pain are universal, a woman’s labour and birth experience is very much influenced by her culture and religion.

POSITION In South Africa, it’s common practice to give birth while lying down in a hospital

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M&P|labour & birth Latin Americans also sit the month but they call it La Cuarentena, which means ‘to quarantine’. For six weeks, new mothers abstain from sex, certain foods and strenuous activities. During this time, they are dedicated to breastfeeding and taking care of the baby. On the other side of the spectrum, in Holland, if it’s a hospital birth, mother and child can go home within two hours of birth if there are no complications. A nurse then visits the family at home for a week.

“While the elements of labour like contractions, dilation and pain are universal, a woman’s labour and birth experience is very much influenced by her culture and religion.” bed. In the US, moms are more often than not in a seated position, while in most parts of Asia the most popular position is in fact squatting, which is believed to shorten labour.

AFTER BIRTH In South Africa it’s standard to stay in hospital for two nights with a natural birth and three nights with a C-section.

Life then pretty much returns to normal.

In Japan, hospital stays tend to be longer.

New mothers can expect a minimum of a five-day stay for a natural birth and 10 days or more for a C-section. A new mother will continue her recovery at her parent’s house for three weeks. In China and Vietnam, they observe ‘sitting the month’, a custom that encourages women to stay confined to their homes for at least the first few weeks after giving birth.

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M&P|labour & birth

STRANGE BIRTHING CUSTOMS Our favourite strange custom is that Balinese newborn babies aren’t allowed to touch the ground until they reach three months of age. The newborn is considered pure and any contact with the floor will defile it.

On the child’s three-month birthday, a formal ceremony is held where the baby can touch the floor for the first time.

THE EXPERTS In South Africa, the gynae is the most common medical expert present during the birth, but this is changing. Now midwives and doulas are becoming more commonplace, something that is already the norm in other countries. In Egypt, midwives are known as dayas. They provide women with care during childbirth. In Morocco, a midwife is called a qabla.

She massages the woman’s stomach and vulva with olive oil to make them softer and supple to make the baby’s passage easier. For the Dutch, home births are pretty much the norm and are overseen by a midwife rather than a gynaecologist. And in Germany, it is a law that a midwife be present at every birth, while gynaes are optional.

PAIN RELIEF From a young age, Vietnamese women learn that they have to give birth in silence and Mexican women have to keep quiet or else face mockery. In

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Taiwan, a woman giving birth may not cry out for fear of disturbing the other inhabitants of her village. In Togo, silence during labour is to keep away the evil sprits. The Japanese shun away from the use of painkillers, as this relates to the Buddhist perception of suffering and the centuries-old belief that labour pains act as a test. Epidurals are hard to come by in Turkey, so to avoid the pain of natural labour many women opt for a C-section under general anaesthetic.

However, it’s believed by some experts that this use of general anaesthesia may be a contributing factor in Turkey's having one of the highest maternal mortality rates in Europe.

“In China and Vietnam, they observe ‘sitting the month’ ... women stay confined to their homes for at least the first few weeks after giving birth.”

In Helaine Selin’s book, Childbirth Across Cultures: Ideas and Practices of Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Postpartum (Springer, 2009), she discovers that in developing countries, many women are still dying in childbirth due to poor sanitation and hygiene. Funnily enough, she also found that these women are also the ones who have the biggest support system around them during birth in the form of family and female villagers.

Her research revealed that Nepalese women, for instance, are sometimes pressured to push the baby out before their bodies are ready. Hmong women must give birth alone, without expressing any pain or discomfort, as do women in Nigeria; one in 18 die during the process. Tibetan women often give birth in animal pens. Selin writes of beautiful labour practices too, such as those of the Navajos. Their rare tradition of home birth sees the mother and father labouring together, while a traditional healer performs blessings. But if Selin had to choose, Sweden would be her top priority for childbirth as ‘they try not to treat childbirth like a disease.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, WWW.VECTORWORLDMAP.COM.

CHILDBIRTH IS NOT A DISEASE

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M&P|0-1 babies

THE GENTLE Our neonatal expert explains why newborn babies experience touch differently to us, and Mary Moore looks at how massage can get your newborn to sleep better, improve their health, and help parents bond with their infant.

n an article titled ‘The Sense of Touch and How It Affects Development’

by Crystal Leonard (14 May, 2009) she explains how the sense of touch develops before all other senses in embryos, and is the main way in which infants learn about their environment and bond with people. In fact, a baby’s first experience with the surrounding environment occurs through touch, developing prenatally as early as 16 weeks in amniotic fluid, so gentle and calming touch is an important source of stimulation for newborn babies.

Massage helps newborns to foster the neurodevelopment of brain regions producing oxytocin, thus enhancing their future socio-emotional development, and is also linked to the ‘growth of physical abilities, language and cognitive skills’, according to an article on Urbanchildinstitute.org, titled ‘Enhancing Development Through the Sense of Touch’ (23 May, 2012). Massage is also calming and especially helpful, according to Gayle Friedman, who runs workshops from Baby Grow Clinic in Cape Town, as well as privately or to groups on request, and has been teaching baby massage classes for 21 years for “colic to help with digestion, and helps soothe a baby who cannot settle easily.”

Through touch, the baby learns to experience pleasure and, Friedman adds, “Non-verbal communication between the parent and child is enhanced.”

This is vital for the development of attachment behaviour and “for early social development of the young child, in that both the infant and parent have the capacity to elicit and respond to behaviours in mutually pleasurable ways, according to an article on healthyfamily. org titled ‘Touch Communication, The Power of Infant Massage’ by certified infant massage instructor, Elaine Fogel Schneider, Ph.D., C.I.I.M In an article titled ‘The Sense of Touch and How It Affects Development’ by Crystal Leonard (14 May, 2009) she M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|0-1 babies explains how the sense of touch develops before all other senses in embryos, and is the main way in which infants learn about their environment and bond with people. In fact, a baby’s first experience with the surrounding environment occurs through touch, developing prenatally as early as 16 weeks in amniotic fluid, so gentle and calming touch is an important source of stimulation for newborn babies.

Massage helps newborns to foster the neurodevelopment of brain regions producing oxytocin, thus enhancing their future socioemotional development, and is also linked to the ‘growth of physical abilities, language and cognitive skills’, according to an article on Urbanchildinstitute.org, titled ‘Enhancing Development Through the Sense of Touch’ (23 May, 2012). Massage is also calming and especially helpful, according to Gayle Friedman, who runs workshops from Baby Grow Clinic in Cape Town, as well as privately or to groups on request, and has been teaching baby massage classes for 21 years for “colic, to help with digestion, and helps soothe a baby who cannot settle easily.”

Through touch, the baby learns to experience pleasure and, Friedman adds, “Non-verbal communication between the parent and child is enhanced.” This is vital for the development of attachment behaviour and “for early social development of the young child, in that both the infant and parent have the capacity to elicit and respond to behaviours in mutually pleasurable ways, according to an article on healthyfamily.org titled ‘Touch Communication, The Power of Infant Massage’ by certified infant massage instructor, Elaine Fogel Schneider, Ph.D., C.I.I.M

LOVING HANDS “Touching is the first communication a baby receives,” says Frederick Leboyer, author of Loving Hands: The Traditional Art of Massage (Newmark Press, 1997). “The first language of its development is through the skin.”

“Being touched and caressed, being massaged, is food for the infant. Food as necessary as minerals, vitamins, and proteins.”

Dr Frederick Laboyer

WHY IS A NEWBORN’S EXPERIENCE OF TOUCH SO DIFFERENT?

THE BEST WAYS TO ENHANCE A BABY’S TOUCH EXPERIENCE

According to an article titled, “Young Infants Have No Clue Who’s Tickling Their Feet”, by Andrew Brenman (October 19, 2015), “for a newborn baby emerging from the cozy womb, the outside world is much bigger, much colder and quite a different kind of place”. At birth, babies are more sensory sensitive and are still discovering their physical awareness and sensing their environment. Brenman explains how in the outside world, the environment becomes much more multisensory, and the “tactile feeling of being picked up is likely to be accompanied by sights such as a parent’s face or hands, and the sounds of voices”. He says “we don’t fully understand yet how infants link these kinds of sensory stimuli, and how long it takes them to figure out the way what they feel – and what they see or hear – fits together.”

According to Fogel Schneider, “infant massage, or touch communication, nurtures the most important relationship the child will ever have: the relationship between the parent and infant.” This is because babies or infants communicate through their bodies. She explains, “When you engage an infant in a massage, you begin to listen to the infant; you listen to sounds, you watch movements, you listen with your eyes, your ears and your heart.” Schneider lists the benefits of receiving massage for babies as follows:

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In The Psycho-Social Domain  Benefits to the infant of receiving massage.  Promotes bonding and attachment.

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M&P|0-1 babies HOMEMADE OIL Friedman recommends sticking to simple oils, and cautions against the use of stimulating essences. She explains that all the oils should be used with base oils of almond, sesame or coconut (4ml base oil to 1 drop essential oil).

BASIC STEPS FOR BABY MASSAGE

 Body/mind/spirit connection.  Increases self-esteem.  Increases sense of love, acceptance, respect and trust.  Enhances communication.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

In The Physiological/Physical Growth Domain  Improves body awareness.  Improves relaxation and release of accumulated stress.  Stimulates circulation.  Strengthens digestive, circulatory and gastrointestinal systems, which can lead to weight gain.  Reduces discomfort caused by teething, congestion, gas, colic and emotional stress.  Improves muscle tone coordination.  Increases elimination and respiration.  Improves sleep patterns.  Increases hormonal function.

Friedman teaches baby massage to professionals and suggests working on the baby every day for a short period (five minutes), choosing a time when the baby is not hungry or tired, and about half an hour after a feed. Alternatively, you can work for about 20 minutes, depending on the baby, and allow it to get used to what you are doing, as long as the baby feels safe and comfortable.

Fogel Schneider explains that the massage process is composed of about 20 percent technique and 80 percent communication.

1. The infant must be in a quiet, alert state.

If the infant does not want a massage, or is fussy and uncooperative, then choose another time for the massage.

2. Place the blend in hot water to warm the oil before applying it with warm hands.

3. Use a heater to warm the room.

4. Ask for the infant’s permission by placing a small amount of oil in the palm of your hands and rubbing these near the infant’s ear so that they may hear the sound and associate that sound with a pleasurable experience.

5. Hold up both hands with opened palms for the infant to see and ask: “Do you want a massage?” or “Are you ready for a massage?” Watch the infant’s body language to know whether the infant is engaging or disengaging.

6. Begin gently at first until the baby gets used to the massage, then proceed more firmly.

7. The most vital areas are the spine and abdomen; the spine for the general nervous

system, and the abdomen for digestion and therefore nourishment of the body. Never press on the actual spine and only massage alongside it.

8. The basic procedure begins with the baby first lying with its back on your legs, its head on your knees and its feet in your lap area.

Your legs should be outstretched with a towel underneath them.

9. Begin from ‘head to toes on the front’ and then roll the baby over onto his or her tummy and massage again from head to toes down the body.

Massage is a foundation from which parenting skills emerge through encouraging touch and communication. In fact, infants who experience more physical contact with caregivers demonstrate increased mental development in the first six months of life compared to young children who receive limited physical interaction. Provided parents have attended an infant massage class and are relaxed both physically and mentally before massaging their baby, massage will positively impact on their baby’s physical and social development, and increase the sense of love and acceptance between parent and baby.

Gayle Friedman is an Allied Health Registered Aromatherapist and Reflexologist focusing on Pregnancy and Babies, Pregnancy and Postnatal; a baby yoga teacher, doula, and Chairlady for WOMBS).

For more information on baby massage, visit www.iaimsa.co.za or www.infantmassageusa/org. Parents can also visit www.kangaroomothercare.com for more scientific information on touch.

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M&P|hall of fame

WIN* WITH PHILIPS AVENT! Send snaps of your picture-perfect baby moments to us at photos@mamasnpapasmag.com to feature on our Hall of Fame.

Include your baby’s full name, gender and age, as well as your full contact details, with Hall of Fame in the subject line.

Last month’s winners...

Akhile Majo Ileney de Klerk Thato Takayi Sinovuyo Samuel Zarah Cupido YOUR BREASTFEEDING Q&A Breastfeeding brings its own unique rewards and like so many aspects of parenthood, it is an art that has to be learned. To some it comes easily, others may need more patience. In an effort to help you get the best out of these precious moments, Philips AVENT answers some of the most common FAQs about breastfeeding that new mothers have.

Q Does the size of the breast influence the milk supply?

Size has little to do with the ability to make milk. Small breasts may contain as many milk glands as large ones. The fatty and connective tissue determines the size.

Q How soon after birth can the baby be put to the breast?

These days, it is standard procedure to be handed the baby to cuddle and feed as soon after birth as possible, provided you had a normal delivery and you and the baby are well.

Q Can I run out of milk? Can the milk evaporate?

No! Production of milk works on a demand-supply principle and your baby’s appetite will regulate your milk supply. Breasts are never empty because they are filled with colostrum, which will satisfy your baby’s needs for the first few days after birth. The protein-rich colostrum contains more vitamin A and E, and fewer carbohydrates and fats.

The antibodies in colostrum provide your baby with resistance to infection. No matter what the size of your baby, you can produce enough milk for them.

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Faith Dhludhlu

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Huggies Hall Of Fame_edTM.indd 36

2015/12/11 9:35 AM

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Babies must be 0 to 3 years months to qualify. Closing date for March 2016 issue Hall of Fame entrants: 31 January 2016. * M&P terms and conditions apply. See page 96.

Available at Baby City or online from www.takealot.com. Alternatively all products can be viewed on www.babies.co.za.

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M&P|labour & birth

IT’S A B…

BABY! In the last few years, birth announcements have become an entire industry on their own. Catherine Versfeld says that Facebook, Twitter and Instagram takes ‘shouting it from the rooftop’ to a whole new level.

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ne of the most wonderful things about having a new baby is that moment when you get to share the news with the world.

In an age when our every moment of our lives is being documented and broadcast photographically, geographically and biographically, pregnancy and birth are right at the top of the ‘to announce’ list.

Pregnancy announcements have taken on a life of their own as hilarious, creative and witty ‘we’re expecting’ puns, images and memes threaten to push the cute factor over the top. Although some are cute, hilarious and too darn adorable, others can be quite bizarre.

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M&P|labour & birth A LOOK AT TRADITION Birth announcements as we know them date as far as back as the days of ancient Greece and Rome, when the town crier would announce the births of the offspring of prominent city members. These announcements made a natural transition to newspapers in the 1800s, with the Industrial Revolution and cheaper printing methods. At this stage, it became possible for anybody to announce the birth of their child – and not just the higher echelons of society.

Although friends and family were treated to hand-written letters or postcards for many decades, cheaper photographic technology in the 1950s and 1960s allowed photograph prints to be posted through the mail (with a handwritten message on the back).

There is no doubt that we are living in an age of the most prolific birth and baby announcement trend in history. Some photographers specialise exclusively in this area, and graphic design companies and online tool applications have also caught on by offering by any number of resources to parents who wish to announce the arrival of their new bundle in style.

Another interesting trend that has emerged between the pregnancy announcement and the birth announcement is the gender reveal. This usually occurs at the stork party, or in some cases, a special get-together that is held to honour the moment. Using pink for a girl and blue for a boy, the ‘reveal’ will happen at some point during the festivities. It may be a sealed box filled with helium balloons in the appropriate colour that the parentsto-be open, or a series of appropriate baby clothes that guests unwrap for the baby. A popular choice is also the reveal cake, which is a completely white iced cake, sometimes in the shape of a baby, that reveals the colour when sliced open (similar to the intensity of red velvet cake, but in pink or blue.) The gender reveal

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M&P|labour & birth trend has also sparked several cute and interesting online announcements, usually photographic, and including older siblings.

The thing that makes all of these announcements special, is the fact that they reflect the unique personalities of the parents. Much like wedding themes and invitations, it is an opportunity to share and celebrate the things that make your specific family special. Whether parents prefer to go for classic, no-frill announcements, or elaborate, clever and funny themes, their culture and mind-set can be beautifully visualised. However it’s done, welcoming a new baby is a wonderful and precious moment for all who share in it.

For many thousands of years, certain parts of Kenya would publicise a new pregnancy by having the pregnant woman move back to her mother’s house. Traditionally, she would stay there for three to four years and her husband could not look at her or pay any attention to her or the baby. By three years, she could begin to visit her husband, but she and her baby would only be allowed back home a year later.

In many parts of Ghana, babies are not named or officially announced until the seventh day after their birth. This is to ensure that they are not merely spirits passing through this world and into the next. On the seventh day, the baby will be brought outside for the first time, shown to everybody and named.

This ancient tradition is known as outdooring. Although many babies are born in hospitals now, and the outdooring must often be postponed beyond the seven-day mark, it is still widely practised throughout Ghana.

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HEAR YE HEAR YE! Traditional birth announcements in newspapers, postcards and letters historically contained the following information:  The date and time of the baby’s birth  Name  Gender (although usually apparent from the name, many people add it)  Place of birth  Birth weight  Names of the parents (and sometimes even the grandparents on both sides)  Visiting information (generally a pre-set date, for when well-wishers may come and meet the baby at home)  In modern times, birth announcements include a series of beautiful photographs with the baby, siblings and parents, or a hospital photo.

IMAGES: PINTEREST.COM, IMAGEBOARD.COM, ETSY.COM, WWW.BOREDPANDA.COM.

WELCOMING A BABY IN AFRICA

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M&P|baby names

PREDICTIONS FOR 2016

Last year came with strange new monikers that will soon be all too popular. See our list of interesting names that will be making the rounds this year.

AFRICAN NAMES

COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGE: ŠISTOCK.COM.

BOYS

GIRLS

NAME

MEANING

ORIGIN

Brielle

Woman of God

Hebrew

Cora

Maiden

Greek

Danica

Morning star

Morning star

Eliana

My God has answered

Hebrew

Kylie

Graceful

Gaelic

Lila

Night

Arabic

Nora

Woman of honour

English

Tressa

Late summer

Greek

Zoya

Life

Russian

Axel

Father of peace

Danish

Cairo

Victorious

Arabic

Everett

Brave

English

Ezra

Help

Hebrew

Haydon

Hedged valley

Old English

Kai

Keeper of the keys

Welsh

Otto

Wealth

Old German

Rhys

Enthusiasm

Welsh

Silas

Three

Hebrew

Trace

Brave

Anglo Saxon

Ayana

Beautiful flower (Girl)

Ethiopia

Azzeza

Brilliant (Girl)

Eritrea

Imani

Faith (Girl)

Kenya

Nailah

Successful (Girl)

Egypt

Naledi

Star (Girl)

South Africa

Ayabonga

They are thankful (Boy)

South Africa

Iggi

Only son (Boy)

Eritrea

Maahes

Lion (Boy)

Egypt

Vuka

Arise (Boy)

South Africa

Zarif

Elegant (Boy)

Kenya

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M&P|dr dad

HOT UNDER THE COLLAR Sr Yolanda Mpilo from the Pampers® Institute helps Dr Dad answer your burning questions about fevers, aches and pains.

fever or high temperature on its own is not an illness, but rather a symptom of an underlying condition – in most cases an infection.

Most of the time it is associated with physical discomfort and your child should feel better when treated.

Depending on your child’s age, physical condition and the underlying cause of the fever, your child may or may not require any medical attention for the fever alone. Many doctors believe that a fever is a natural bodily defence against infections; however, there are also many non-infectious causes of a fever.

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Conditions that cause fevers include: 1. Flu 2. Ear infections 3. Tonsillitis 4. Kidney or urinary infections 5. Common childhood illnesses, such as chickenpox and whooping cough.

Q. How can I tell if my child has a fever?

You should be able to tell if your child has a high fever by just touching them.

You’ll notice that the skin feels very hot, or your baby may have flushed cheeks and feel clammy or sweaty. Normal body temperature is 36°C to 37°C, but this can vary from child to child by a few points of

a degree. No one knows your baby better than you, so a fever is anything that is high for your baby.

Q. I babysit my niece often – how should I measure her temperature?

The easiest way to check a baby’s temperature is by touch, but it isn’t the most accurate method. Many doctors would advise you to buy a thermometer for home use from any retailer or pharmacist.

It is better to use an oral thermometer if the child hasn’t eaten or had any fluids for 30 minutes.

Types Of Digital Thermometers Available:  Oral

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M&P|dr dad  Rectal  Ear  Forehead Q. When should parents call the doctor?

A fever on its own is no cause for alarm, but there are circumstances when you should seek medical attention for your child, such as:  A temperature above 38.3°C.  A red rash from the neck that extends to the extremities (arms and legs).  Bright red tongue with bumps on it.

Q. What medicine can be used to treat fever and when should it be given?

Give your baby paracetamol syrup every four to six hours if the temperature is above 38°C. Be sure to follow the dosage instructions on the bottle or as per your doctor’s instructions.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

Q. How can I keep my toddler comfortable when they have a fever?

Remember again, not all fevers need to be treated. In most cases, a fever should be treated only if it’s causing your child discomfort.  Dress your child in light clothes.  Encourage your child to drink small, frequent sips of fluids, preferably water.  Make sure that your child is in a cool environment, but not a cold one.  Administer paracetamol correctly.  Let your child eat what they want in reasonable amounts, but don’t force feed them if they’re not hungry.  Make sure your child gets plenty of rest.

They don’t have to stay in bed, but they should refrain from energetic activities.

Q. How can I tell if my child is in pain?

It can be a challenge to recognise symptoms of pain in young children. Ask yourself the following:  Is my baby crying because baby is in pain or just overreacting?  Is my child crying inconsolably?  Is my child restless?  Is my child child sweating?  Is my child still, quiet and avoiding eye contact?

Q. How can I help my child cope with pain while we’re at home?

Even if doctors find no physical cause for pain in your child, something could still be wrong. If the pain occurs during the school day, investigate what is happening in the classroom or playground.

If having pain is the only way your child can

get your attention, plan special time with your child each day. You can also do the following to keep your child comfortable:  Distract your child by keeping them busy, either by watching their favourite TV programme, going for a walk, playing around the house or reading a book.  Cuddle and gently massage your child.  Bath your child in lukewarm water. Never use cold water and never leave your child unattended in the bath.

Don’t ever ignore chronic pain; your child may need help from a paediatric pain management specialist, psychologist, nurse, and physical therapist. Talk to your child’s paediatrician if you have any concerns.

Dr Dad and M&P would like to thank Sister Yolanda Mpilo, a midwife and Pampers® Institute Expert for her contribution to this column.

SAY NO TO ASPIRIN! Aspirin has been linked to a rare, potentially fatal disease called Reye Syndrome, which causes swelling in the liver and brain.

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M&P|toddlers

Children aged two to three have a unique way of expressing themselves, often resulting in tears and misunderstanding. Peta Daniel talks to a child development expert for tips on how to crack your toddler’s communication code.

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M&P|toddlers ez Meredith is an earlyyears educator who has left the profession to stay at home with her child.

Her speciality was two-tothree-year-olds. Although South African, she now lives in the UK with her young son and partner. Meredith explains that as your child develops and becomes better able to understand what is happening around them, they become more and more interested in navigating this interesting new world, and less patient with all the restrictions from grown-ups around them.

Little do they know that putting their fingers in the wall socket will lead to a nasty electrocution – so they simply can’t understand why you won’t let then touch the harmless-looking holes in the wall! This newly found interest, the ability to move around more independently (which is also pretty new) and the frustration of being held back all contribute to often-difficult toddlers, who simply wants to explore. Your toddler may be getting fast on their feet, but they still can’t outrun you. Every times they turn around you’re there!

They don’t realise that when you grab them under the armpits and whisk them away from the interesting brown splotch on the floor you were actually saving them from touching dog poop, or when you snatched their hand back from the shiny thing you were saving them from burning their fingers on a candle flame. Of course they’re going to wail, stomp and pout!

All of these are perfectly natural and shouldn’t be taken seriously. “It’s very normal for children to idealise the parent they don’t see as often,” explains Sez. “We’ve had this from day one, with our son usually favouring daddy. Once you understand that it’s a developmental thing it becomes funny and you can laugh about it.”

TOP TIPS TO GET YOUR TODDLER TO DO WHAT YOU WANT 1. Let them take risks.

This is a vital part of learning! Obviously don’t let your child climb into the oven, but assess each situation and decide whether or not the risk level is acceptable. They will never learn to sit on a chair by themselves if they don’t topple off a few times. Make sure it’s on a carpeted area, and you’re good to go.

2. Child-initiated learning is a wonderful new trend.

Let your child choose where and when they learn. Sitting them down to teach them the alphabet will be a lot less effective than if you see them playing with alphabet blocks or books and sit down with them and teach

DIFFICULT TODDLER STAGES Toddlers go through many phases that are difficult for their parents, including: l Saying ‘no’ all the time to everything. l Suddenly preferring one parent over the other. l A sudden obsession with objects that aren’t meant to be toys; the dog’s food for example, when a stack of brand new ageappropriate toys lies unused in the corner. l Hitting. l Throwing objects – like food.

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M&P|toddlers

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

them the alphabet then, while using the toy they chose. The same goes for teaching colours: when they’re building with bricks, tell them the colour they’re using and have fun games (that don’t interfere with his play) around the blocks that will help him learn. That’s not to say you shouldn’t have planned activities, but keep an eye on your toddler and if you find they’re really into a certain activity, use it to your advantage to teach them.

3. Become a narrator from day one.

Narrate everything you do from the moment your child is born. It all makes a big difference. It will increase their vocabulary later on in life, get them talking quicker and make them more confident. As they start to understand, it will also teach them how to do daily activities.

4. Praise them and have fun.

Praise them when they do something correctly and get excited when they manage to do something they’ve been trying to do for a while.

Most importantly, take the opportunity to become a child yourself.

You’re in this together and being a parent is not about adhering to strict rules or becoming a disciplinarian. Have fun with your kid.

There are few times in your life when you can act like a two-year-old and you’d be doing the right thing. Turn off your phones, PCs and tablets – get on the floor and dress that Barbie, build that castle and sing that song.

5. Don't shout.

Be firm and clear, but don’t shout. Much like wild animals, children can hear when you're cracking. Try shouting in a room filled with 30 two-year-olds – you get nowhere. They raise the level of noise until you can't be heard. It’s a challenge to them and encourages them to play up more. However, dropping your voice and slowly telling them what they should be doing is almost always more effective. Yes, you can make yourself sound scary!

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Read more about Tips To Get Your Toddler To Cooperate on our website. Click on Toddlers!

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2015/12/11 9:46 AM

M&P|gogo’s advice

TRIED & TRUSTED Have you become a regular at the doctor’s office?

Try Gogo’s suggestions before rushing off.

USE WITH CAUTION 1. Supplements are very helpful but they too, like any other medication, need to be taken with care.

2. Peppermint may relax the oesophageal sphincter, increasing the risk of heartburn; use the herb wisely if you’re prone to acid reflux.

FIGHT THE FEVER

COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

SIZZLE IN SALTS Epsom salts is well known for its properties to reduce stress, soften skin or relieve aches and pains. Mix half a cup with water to form a paste, add to bathwater or massage handfuls into your skin while bathing. A great remedy for:  Drawing toxins from stings and bringing splinters to the skin’s surface.  Deep cleaning pores.  Easing muscle aches.  Reducing swelling of sprains and bruises.  Soaking haemorrhoids.  Removing foot odours.

Lowering your child’s fever won’t cure an illness, but it will prevent dehydration and reduce discomfort.  Keep Cool: Consider removing one or two layers of clothing to move the process along.  Sponge Bath: Sponge high-heat areas like armpits and the groin with cool water to help reduce the fever as the water evaporates.  Offer Ice Cubes: Try giving your toddler or ice chips or an ice lolly to suck on. This will cool them down while preventing dehydration.  Stay Indoors: Find a cool place inside the house or ensure that your child is in the shade.

WARNING! Fevers in babies younger than three months are very dangerous. Call the doctor immediately, especially if the fever is accompanied by other serious symptoms.

Remember that, although you trust Gogo’s advice, it’s always best to ask your doctor or nurse at your local clinic first!

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M&P|kids’ fashion

DIAMANTÉ GLADIATORS (PINK), R119, ACKERMANS.

CHARACTER CROP TOPS, R599, JET.

DENIM DUNGAREES, R299, SOOBE, SPREE

NOVELTY SUNGLASSES WITH ROUND FRAME, R35, MRP.

BOHO GIRLS’ VEST (PINK), R49, ACKERMANS.

TRAINERS, R229, H&M.

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2015/12/11 9:51 AM

M&P|kids’ fashion

BARBIE JEWELLERY SET, R59, CHARACTER FASHION, SPREE.

BLOUSE WITH A TIE, R149, H&M.

HANNAH SLEEVELESS DRESS, R539, POLO.

COTTON SHORTS WITH GLITTER, R129, H&M.

SHOULDER BAG, R149, H&M.

BUTTERFLY WATCH, R129, COOL KIDS, SPREE.

AZTEC DENIM SHORTS, R89, MRP.

SANDALS (PURPLE), R149, RAGE.

SMART GOLFER, R249.

SUMMER SHORTS, R229.

TROPICAL PRINT PLAYSUIT, R220, SOOBE, SPREE.

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M&P|kids’ fashion

TWO-PACK VEST TOPS, R99, H&M.

ROYAL BRACES TURN-UP SHORTS, R109, ACKERMANS.

TWILL SHORTS, R79, MRP.

ASHTON HENLY T-SHIRT, R339, POLO.

SURFER FLIP FLOPS, FROM R95, WOOLWORTHS.

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M&P|kids’ fashion DENIM SHORTS WITH PRINT, R109, MRP.

SHORT-SLEEVED COTTON SHIRT, R199, H&M.

BRYAN RAGLAN T-SHIRT, R349, POLO.

CAP (BLUE AND WHITE), R139, QUIKSILVER, SPREE.

GOLF SHIRT, R69, JET.

RACER WATCH MULTICOLOUR COOL KIDS, R219, SPREE.

ESPADRILLES, R129, H&M.

PRINT COTTON BUCKET HAT R89.90, WOOLWORTHS.

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M&P|preschoolers

ccording to clinical psychologist, Kirsten Clark, (MSocSci – Clinical Psychology) in Westville North (KZN), “A high-quality preschool is designed to set up young children for future academic, emotional, and social success,” and will provide them with the knowledge, skills and confidence needed to succeed in formal school.

Children who attend preschool commonly achieve certain skills and developmental milestones, ranging from physical development (such as fine and gross motor skills), visual and spatial perception, problem-solving skills and social enhancement through fixed regular activities and routines specifically aimed at stimulating, preparing and teaching children to cope with the demands of formal schooling.

According to Clark, children are now engaging in more formal learning from a younger age as preschools or early childhood development (ECD) centres now follow a more structured form of learning and are “required to meet certain legal requirements if they choose to be registered with the Department of Social Development, the municipality and/or the Independent Schools Association of South Africa (ISASA).” Clark says there also seems to be a perception that foundation phase learning has become more rigorous and children are expected to have mastered the skills and abilities needed for school readiness at an earlier age.

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Is it really necessary for your child to attend a preschool?

Mary Moore explores the learning and development that takes place between crèche and big school.

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M&P|preschoolers “… there also seems to be a perception that foundation phase learning has become more rigorous and children are expected to have mastered the skills and abilities needed for school readiness at an earlier age.”

IS YOUR CHILD READY FOR GRADE ONE? Clark details some of the skills which are required for Grade One and formal learning in general: 1. Body concept – the ability to know what is part of their body and what is not; and the ability to name body parts.

2. Form concept – the ability to name shapes and forms.

3. Form constancy – the ability to recognise, classify and match forms and shapes; and the understanding that a form or shape is constant regardless of its size or orientation.

4. Size concept – the ability to distinguish between and name different sizes (i.e. big/small, thick/thin, tall/short).

5. Size constancy – the ability to recognise, classify and match objects that area similar size.

6. Writing – the ability to recognise their own name and perhaps write their own name.

7. Memory – the ability to remember basic facts about themselves (i.e. surname, birthday month, age).

8. Part-whole concept – the ability to name parts of an object (i.e. half, quarter).

9. Part-whole constancy – the ability to recognise, classify and match similar parts (i.e. half an orange is similar to half an apple).

10. Colour concept – the ability to name colours and variations of colours (e.g. light and dark blue).

11. Colour constancy – the ability to recognise, classify and match colours which are the same colour.

12. Number concept – the ability to count from memory, count objects and recognise numbers (from 1 to 10 at least).

13. Number constancy – the ability to count the number of objects present and if an object has been added or taken away.

14. Sequencing – the ability to place objects in order (e.g. smallest to biggest).

15. Speech/sounds – the ability to identify sounds at the beginning and end of words; the ability to identify words which sound similar (e.g. bat, cat, sat, mat).

16. General – the ability to listen to and follow instructions.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT A child’s physical development must be taken into account as part of the learning that takes place between crèche and big school.

Clark explains how in a nursery school environment, children have the opportunity to work on their fine and gross motor skills by “climbing on jungle gyms, dancing to music during ‘ring’ time, playing with balls, riding on bikes, hopping, skipping and pretending to gallop like a horse.” Furthermore, they practise walking along lines, going on the slide and walking on tiptoe, all of which improve their sense of balance. Hand-eye coordination is enhanced through arts and crafts (cutting and sticking, colouring in and painting), as well as sorting objects, threading beads and sorting objects.

Children are monitored and taught how to sit still and pay attention during story time, which is important in terms of being able to focus and complete tasks in Grade One.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT Magdaleen Vermaak, principal of Klein Pikkewyn Preschool and School for Early Childhood Development in Little Falls, Roodepoort, says, “With children having to cope with social pressure from an increasingly young age, it is necessary for them to be well prepared before going to school.” She identifies the role of nursery school as essential to a child’s ability to “converse his or her own feelings and needs in a socially acceptable manner.”

Learning to fit in with the rules of society and to understand and accept authority figures plays an important role as well. Vermaak elaborates, “The child needs to learn and understand there are rules that have to be enforced and that there are consequences in breaking those rules.” Social independence is also a necessary skill children need to develop before going to school if they are expected to listen to instructions, work in a group situation or on their own without constant supervision, and learn to take responsibility for their own actions.

Jean Dearman, owner and principal of Jean’s Playgen in Hillcrest for 42 years, studied crèche administration and child care at the Commercial Institute, Department of Education in Durban. Dearman advises, “Children do not instinctively share; they need to be guided in a group situation, they need to learn to be kind and caring, and they need to learn to play together as a group in games and projects. They need to grow in confidence and self-esteem, and develop leadership qualities and positive ways to behave outside the home.”

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“The preschool environment offers children the opportunity to experiment and improve their social skills, to play in a group and learn to share and negotiate.”

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT According to Dearman, nursery schools generally work in a theme format to provide children with pre-reading, pre-writing and premaths skills to prepare them for the academic demands of school. To sustain their excitement and motivation for learning, these activities are introduced not as isolated exercises, but in the context of activities that are interesting and meaningful to children. “They learn about their environment and they learn to use their imagination, to think outside the box, to solve problems and generally gain an enormous amount of information and skills while doing activities specifically prepared to benefit certain skills,” explains Dearman.

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ADVANTAGES OF THE PRESCHOOL DAY Clark confirms that a child’s day at school presents additional learning and structured activities that are specifically designed to help them learn about basic concepts. “[These] are designed to help them learn about basic concepts such as shapes, colours and numbers,” she explains, which gives them an understanding of form and structure, which is then used to develop their early reading and writing skills.

Preschool activities include:  Exposure to abstract concepts such as seasons and time.  Learning about the foundations of reading, writing and maths through play and games.  Discussions about stories that are read to the children encourage their listening, comprehension and expressive language skills.  Playing with magnetic alphabet letters may inspire a child to ask a teacher to help her write a word.  Matching games, sorting games, counting games, and board games build children’s understanding of number, categories and sequence, which supports later maths learning.  Putting together puzzles encourages children to notice patterns, plan ahead and problem-solve.

COMPLIANCE Dearman stipulates that sending your child to preschool gives them a huge advantage, as long as it follows a registered ECD programme that stimulates a child physically, emotionally, socially and intellectually.

It should not “just be a glorified babysitting service,” she emphasises.

As long as parents choose a high-quality programme that suits their child and family, the role of the nursery school is essential for preparing a child for school and the child will enter school with better skills than those who do not.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, SAMSABEL.COM.

Clark reiterates that this kind of emotional maturity is a key factor in determining school readiness. A child may be intellectually or physically ready for ‘big school’ but may not have the emotional or social skills needed for dealing with large numbers of other children, as well as how to deal with conflict, disappointment and frustration. The preschool environment offers children the opportunity to experiment and improve their social skills, to play in a group and learn to share and negotiate.

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M&P|kids’ voices

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M&P|preschoolers e all understand and communicate love in different ways, and this unfortunately sometimes means miscommunication.

Our expert, Dr Sumayya Ebrahim, a practicing psychologist specialising in family psychology, adds some insight to how to love in the right language for your child.

LANGUAGES OF LOVE EXPLAINED In his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitmewnt to your Mate (1995) relationship counsellor and author, Dr Gary Chapman, outlines the five ways in which people express and experience love. These five languages include:  Gifts  Quality time  Words of affirmation  Acts of service  Physical touch.

Dr Chapman suggests that each person has a primary and secondary love language that makes the most sense to him or her. However, he explains that we should use the love language that the person we love can most easily understand and receive. For example, if your primary love language is ‘words of affirmation’ and your partner’s is ‘physical touch’, you should use physical touch to show your affection wherever possible rather than your own primary language. After all, love is selfless.

Peta Daniel helps parents learn how to identify their preschooler’s love language and bridge the gap between different ways of loving.

LOVE IS A LANGUAGE

“… each person has a primary and secondary love language that makes the most sense to him or her … we should use the love language that the person we love can most easily understand and receive.”

This may be primarily aimed at helping couples to better show their love, but it works for all relationships, including those with and between your children. It makes sense for us,

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as parents, to do our best to meet our children’s needs, and the need to be loved is the most important one of all.

Under the age of five children would have physical touch as their primary love

language, but as they get older they learn and develop differently. Let’s look at how each love language could apply to your child:

1. RECEIVING GIFTS By ‘gifts’ Dr Chapman does not necessarily mean showering your child with material objects. In this sense, a gift can be something very small as it really is the thought that counts. The child who

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M&P|preschoolers 3. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION Children who fall into this category enjoy hearing your appreciation for them. Simply saying: ‘I love you so much!’ will mean more to them than most other gestures. If your child seeks words of affirmation as received love, you can build them up by telling them something positive about themselves. According to Dr Ebrahim, making full eye contact when saying ‘I love you’ will go a long way in adding to your child feeling loved.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE Acts of service refers to doing things for someone that you love. The tasks may be enjoyable or not, they may be mundane chores or huge gestures, but the children in this category only feel truly loved when you perform a task for them. Tucking them in bed, carrying their school bag when it’s been a long day, remembering to pack their favourite soft toy for a sleepover... it’s these acts that will show them how much you love them.

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH

feels most loved when receiving a gift thrives on the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift, says Dr Chapman.

Children who fall into this love language category will simply glow when you bring home something that showed you thought of them.

2. QUALITY TIME For some children, having your undivided attention, with no

chores, multitasking, computers, siblings or other people around is simply the best. These children enjoy nothing more than feeling that you are truly listening to them, hearing and understanding them.

Dr Ebrahim adds that in today’s fastpaced life, quality time is the first to be neglected in favour of more supposedly urgent tasks, like cooking or doing homework. An extra-conscious effort needs to be made to give children your

Those who thrive on intimacy love hugs, kisses, cuddles, pats on the back and simply having you physically close by. Never pull out of a hug too soon, never forget a goodnight kiss and always stroke that little head when your child rests it against you.

These children feel cherished when you are affectionate with them. Even in a tantrum, sometimes just stroking or holding your child can soothe them, advises Dr Ebrahim.

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language is quality time. They might feel that you are too busy worrying about all the tasks at hand to give them your undivided attention, and may also be feeling hurt. Take a few moments off from all your tasks to spend quality time with your child instead and watch the situation resolve itself.

“Conflict occurs when two people with different love languages believe they are showing the other their love, but don’t feel it is being reciprocated because they simply can’t perceive or understand the way the other person shows their love.”

A FAMILY WITH DIFFERENT LOVE LANGUAGES As your children get older, they are better able to understand that we all show and experience love differently. Ask them what makes them feel most loved, and tell them what your love language is. Give examples of situations where they can avoid conflict by showing their siblings love in a love language that is different to their own.

Julia Gafurova is a qualified paediatrician who is currently not practising. She stays at home with her son Andrey (8). “My child’s primary ‘love language’ is touch and secondary is quality time,” she says. Gafurova shows her son love by looking directly at him when they chat, listening and speaking carefully. To resolve conflict, she uses a combination of both languages: lots of hugs, talking it through, asking questions, listening and explaining. If you have difficulty working out what your love languages are, you can go to www.5lovelanguages. com and take the quiz.

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IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, vectorstock.com, karenzach.com,

perceive or understand the way the other person shows their love.

Many people believe that their way is the only way, simply because they have never had this idea challenged. This has made for many misunderstandings, tears, arguments and broken relationships.

Avoid conflict by finding out what your child’s, your partner’s and your own love languages are. Once you know these, you can try to show your love in their love language. For example, if your primary love language is acts of service you will feel very let down and unloved if your children and partner constantly leave all the chores to you, never do anything to help around the home, and seem unappreciative of all the tasks you so lovingly perform for them. It’s understandable that you would feel hurt when this is the primary way you show and receive love. Unfortunately, in this situation most parents would end up becoming frustrated and angry and misunderstandings, fights and conflicts could occur, leaving everyone feeling hurt and hard done by.

In this example, let’s say that your child’s primary love

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- SINCE 1976 -

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M&P|special needs

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M&P|special needs As the school year begins, educational psychologist Claire Maher discusses attention and concentration difficulties certain children experience, and offers parents and teachers some support. ttention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is an exceptionally common childhood disorder that can continue through to adolescence and adulthood.

While genetics is thought to be the main cause, research shows a combination of factors including environment, nutrition and other disorders can play a part in the development of ADHD. Just in case there is any confusion, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is an outdated term and is no longer used due to the fact that it only referred to those who were lacking attention (inattentive) and failed to acknowledge hyperactive or impulsive areas.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 (DSM-V), ADHD is characteristic by persistent inattention or impulsivity and hyperactivity (see characteristics listed in the table below). For either diagnosis to be made at least six symptoms need to have been present for at least six months and these symptoms need to be developmentally inappropriate. The symptoms need to have been present prior to 12 years of age, and be observable in two or more settings (i.e. at school and home, or school and with relatives). In addition, for a diagnosis of ADHD to be made these behaviours must show a significant interference with academic and/or social functioning. While a psychologist, teacher, parent or other significant party in the child’s life may be able to recognise these symptoms, a formal diagnosis needs to ideally be made by a psychiatrist or medical doctor.

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE TWO TYPES OF ADHD INATTENTION

HYPERACTIVITY / IMPULSIVITY

1. Makes careless mistakes.

1. Fidgets or taps hands or feet

2. Has difficult sustaining attention.

2. Leaves seat when seating is required

3. Does not seem to be listening when spoken to.

3. Runs or climbs at inappropriate times

4. Does not follow through on instructions

4. Unable to engage in quiet play

5. Has difficulty organising self or tasks

5. On the go, as if driven by a motor

6. Avoids tasks requiring too much mental effort

6. Talks excessively

7. Often loses items

7. Blurts out answers

8. Forgetful in daily activity

8. Has difficulty waiting for his/her turn Interrupts others’ conversations

9. Easily distracted by external stimuli

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M&P|special needs IGNORING THE SIGNS Untreated ADHD can create numerous difficulties for children, and therefore their parents and teachers. Children with ADHD who are not treated will generally perform lower than their abilities academically.

They will often feel that they are trying their best, but that their best is just not good enough. They are often deemed to be ‘naughty’, which can create difficulties socially as well as internally with self-esteem, for example. Parents will often feel like pulling their hair out because their efforts to organise their child or assist them academically often seem to be in vain. And realistically, when the fifth set of stationery goes missing before June you can understand! Teachers of learners with ADHD find it difficult to keep teaching a class when one or two children are disruptive or demand more attention.

The effects of ADHD on academic performance can be significantly reduced when treated appropriately. I often explain to parents that in the same way a diabetic child requires insulin, there are children with ADHD who require medication to function to the best of their ability.

Medication, whether pharmacological or homeopathic, alongside therapies and strategies used at school and at home will help a child be more susceptible to learning, and to take in more of what they learn.

They can perform to the best of their ability and on par with the others in their class provided there are no other delays or difficulties. Treating ADHD helps children to cope in the classroom setting because, amongst other factors, they feel more capable – not treating it leads to hopelessness and difficulties coping with the demands placed on them.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

STRATEGIES FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS There are a number of strategies parents and teachers can use to make the life of an ADHD child (and their own) easier to manage.

At home: Keep a schedule and routine. This doesn’t have to be to the minute, but at least have some sort of order of events such as: arrive home, eat a snack, do homework, play, bath, eat, brush teeth, bedtime.

That way your child knows what is expected of them.

O rganise everyday items and keep them in place.

Keep firm (but fair) boundaries and rules, and reward when these are followed – star charts can be useful.

Praise, praise, praise!

P rovide opportunities for success and responsibility.

At school: Break tasks up into manageable portions that the child can complete in a step-by-step fashion.

Seat children struggling to concentrate away from distractions (doors, windows, friends), but do not ostracise them.

Send them on errands. This gives them a sense of responsibility and importance, but also gives them a subtle break and chance to expend energy.

Where quiet and sitting still is required, give them Prestik or play dough to play with to expend energy.

Stick to a routine as much as possible.

Repeat instructions as and when necessary.

THE TEACHER JUST DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE MY CHILD Many parents and teachers experience conflict when addressing issues such as concentration. It is helpful for teachers to explain to parents exactly what is it they are observing in the classroom setting that warrants concern. Parents can be defensive, saying ‘but she’s fine at home’ or ‘you just need to know how to handle him’. Teachers need to be careful not to make diagnoses, but rather make suggestions of how to assist. There are times when teachers are overwhelmed and feel a ‘go-to’ diagnosis of ADHD (and medication) will solve the problem – which is not always the case.

It is important that parents and teachers work together and make use of other support to come to some conclusions. While it may be difficult, it is also important that parents listen to teachers and be open to working with them. This doesn’t mean parents have to agree, but just be open to exploring options. Parent-teacher conflict or disagreements often mean the child will suffer, which needs to be avoided at all costs. If your child’s teacher or therapist suggests your child may be struggling with a concentration difficulty, discuss the options and routes to take with them. Generally, full psychoeducational assessments are recommended to look more in depth at a child’s cognitive abilities and determine skills and weaknesses.

Recommendations of therapies or referrals to psychiatrists are generally made thereafter.

HELP! I NEED SOMEBODY! Parents respond in a variety of ways when told their child has or may have ADHD – or any other barrier to learning or difficulty for that matter. Many parents are relieved, having always recognised that there was something amiss, or something they couldn’t put their finger on.

Other parents will admit to being in denial, or hoping for a different outcome. And many parents will take longer to accept the reality, if at all. All these parents need support. It is helpful for parents to receive parental guidance, or even for their own therapist to help them either in dealing with their child, or dealing with their own feelings around a diagnosis. It is important that schools, teachers, parents and any therapists work closely together to assist the child and family as much as possible and provide support where necessary.

A diagnosis of ADHD in your child may initially be difficult to accept, but with the correct support for your child and your family it is a very manageable and treatable disorder. The key is to find the correct combination of treatment and support systems that work for your child and family.

For more information or advice, contact Claire Maher, Educational Psychologist, on 082 768 9251.

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M&P|cover story

FAMILY FIRST To know Ntombi Ngcobo-Mzolo you need to understand the story of her family; they are all entertainers, cultural guardians and role models. Loren Stow found out how they embody the adage that blood truly is thicker than water.

ur 31-year-old cover model was born into a family of award-winning musicians and she has seen the world, yet she remains passionate about South African cultures. Through it all Ntombi’s proudest achievements lie in a wonderful marriage with her husband Sizwe Mzolo (32), raising their daughter Nomvelo (4), and embracing their soon-to-be-born baby boy, who has been diagnosed in utero with a serious and rare condition. Faith and family are the cornerstones of this story.

THE CULTURAL NUCLEUS Ntombi’s father, Bheki Ngcobo, moved to Johannesburg when he was just 17 years old, but anyone would be forgiven for thinking he had raised his children in KwaZulu-Natal (KZN), such was his dedication to making the Zulu culture come alive for his four children. “I remember as a child when we returned home from school my father would tell us to take our uniforms off and put them in the cupboard along with our English culture,” she shares. “Then it was time to be Zulu.”

Better known by his entertainment alias of Ihhashi Elimhlophe (meaning ‘white horse’), Bheki and his wife Linah ‘Ebony’ Khama made the East Rand home for their growing family and promising musical careers. Ntombi and her siblings, brothers Nkosinathi and Jabu and sister Vuyisiwe, were born within six years of each other.

The children were raised to embrace and fully identify with the Zulu culture of their father who, in addition to teaching them the Zulu language, also made cultural identity fun and engaged his children through songs and stories, explaining various ceremonies and cultural dress. “People cannot believe we weren’t actually raised in KZN,” she says with a smile.

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M&P|cover story The entire family is musical and born entertainers; the children formed their own group in 1997 called Amaponi (‘pony’ being an ode to their father’s stage name). Like their father, Amaponi also wrote, produced and performed traditional Zulu folk music called Maskandi. “At the time we created Amaponi Kwaito was really becoming popular, yet our father insisted we stick to our roots with our traditional music,” says Ntombi, explaining that their commitment to their culture has been richly rewarding in that all these years later they have travelled the world and are still booked for performances, even though the group is no longer their sole focus.

MASKANDI MAGIC A traditional Zulu Maskandi performance tells a story through music and movement, shares real life experiences, joys, sorrows and observations about the world around us; this is why is it often referred to as the Zulu version of the ‘jazz and blues’. Men and women, young and old, now perform Maskandi, which was once the domain of male performers only.

“Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.” – Rabindranath Tagore THE FAMILY NUCLEUS In an exceedingly fickle industry where stars rise to meteoric heights only to plummet back to earth with a dull and painful thud, the Ncgobo family has not only weathered the winding road but also served as an example for other entertainment families to follow. “I have two very hardworking, very honest and supportive parents,” Ntombi says unequivocally. “Actually, they are a bit like twins!” she laughs. Mr and Mrs Ncgobo may have entertainment flowing through their veins, but they had unshakeable belief in God within their hearts. In fact, Linah has within the last two years been ordained as a pastor and started her own church. This balance between celebration and reverence for the Zulu culture whilst always observing Christian values has been instilled in the entire family.

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M&P|cover story “… the young couple plans to create rich cultural experiences for their family that honour their primary heritage, but embrace the beautiful tapestry of South African philosophies at large.”

“We have always worked and travelled together; my mother is our manager, our father plays guitar during our performances.

Wherever we go, we go together,” she admits. It is this togetherness that has surely been the greatest asset in an industry where you can appear to be surrounded by people but in reality, you are all alone.

Ntombi’s parents showed their children, their community and their fans around the country how to love for the sake of love. “I learned to love a person for who they are and not for what they had, or what I thought I could get from them. My parents met when they had nothing; they stuck together and braved times when there was no money or success, but they had each other,” Ntombi says with obvious admiration.

It is with this humility and honesty that the Ngcobo family is founded on. Their belief that people deserve respect by virtue of who they are and not what they are, they hold steadfast to the notion that everything and everyone you encounter has been brought there by the Grace of God and for reasons you may not fully understand. Ubuntu is not only paid lip service in this family. “We are because of others, and they are because of us,” is a living practice in this family.

As with all children growing up, Ntombi and her siblings are flying the coop and exploring the world in their own ways, giving of the gifts they have to share, creating new careers and standing on their own two feet; but like satellites, they are never far from the gravity of their family. And although it may seem daunting to an outsider marrying into such a family, Ntombi explains that spouses are like blood relatives. “Marriage is something where you tell another person you are now family – I will not leave you behind; even if we fight and have difficult times I will never leave you, just as I would

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M&P|cover story never leave my siblings or parents,” Ntombi confesses.

BRIGHT SATELLITES

“I wanted a natural birth. I wanted to experience some pain and some drama, and to swear at my husband and slap him in the throes of a messy labour.”

Ntombi met her film-producer husband, Sizwe, on the set of one of her father’s music videos. The couple dated for almost seven years before they tied the knot in a traditional Zulu ceremony. “I was very aware that we were young when we met so we took things slowly and pretty much grew up together. I know we fell in love for the right reasons.” In a constantly changing world, in Sizwe Ntombi finds that most beautiful and often overlooked quality of dependability. “He is helpful, he is involved in everything, he takes part and he truly loves who I am,” she says, adding that she knows this is in complete contrast to today’s modern world of Facebook likes and profile pictures.

As parents to a bubbly, talkative, independent and inquisitive little four-yearold daughter, Nomvelo, both Ntombi and Sizwe hope to instil in their children a love of culture, a belief in being honest and true, and the qualities of respect, hard work and integrity. “We love our Zulu culture; my husband is half Zulu and half Swati, I am half Zulu and half Tsonga, and we are devoutly Christian.” And so the young couple plans to create rich cultural experiences for their family that honour their primary heritage, but embrace the beautiful tapestry of South African philosophies at large. “I ask a lot of questions, I try to learn as many languages as possible and I’m a people’s person,” she describes.

Just before welcoming their first child, Ntombi released a solo album in 2010 called African Sexy featuring the single Amakhosikazi, which was nominated for a SAMA award the same year. She also found success on-screen as a presenter on various shows such as Backyard Science, Science 4 Life and Come Again? and she hosted music shows One and Gumba Gumba on eKasi+.

Just as her solo career was set to soar even higher, Ntombi and Sizwe discovered they were pregnant with Nomvelo in 2011.

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THE NEXT GENERATION Ntombi and Sizwe were thrilled to welcome their daughter to the world in 2012 after a healthy, uneventful pregnancy that culminated in a Caesarean-section birth. “I wanted a natural birth. I wanted to experience some pain and some drama, and to swear at my husband and slap him in the throes of a messy labour,” shares the soon-to-be mother of two with a giggle.

Such was the nature of her first pregnancy – no morning sickness, no cravings, no fatigue, and no real weight gain except for a healthy six kilograms. She performed on stage until her eight month of pregnancy and admits that she secretly thought that pregnant women who complained about ailments were simply exaggerating.

“My plan was to take three months’ maternity leave and then get back to work, but then I met Nomvelo and I knew instantly that I could not leave her.” Ntombi became her daughter’s primary caregiver until she started crèche at the age of two; she not only breastfed her daughter for 18 months, but she also took her everywhere with her. “If I needed to shoot a music video or do an interview, someone from my family – my mother or mother-in-law or sister – would hold Nomvelo while I worked and then I’d be done and back with my girl. I never got a nanny or involved anyone else, I just wanted to be there with her and raise her myself.”

When the couple discovered that they were expecting again, this time a pleasant surprise, Ntombi knew that she was pregnant before a test could even confirm it. “I know my body and within a week or two of falling pregnant I just didn’t feel like myself. I felt sick and terrible. I did a home pregnancy test and it was negative; two weeks later I was still feeling so terrible so I tried again. This time it was positive,” she says. Ntombi’s second pregnancy could not be more different to her

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“Perhaps God’s plan is for me to reach out and help others and create a support structure for parents in need of guidance. You are given the most devastating news and then sent home with your baby still in your womb to make the most difficult decision, all alone.

It is a terrible experience,”

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PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. HAIR & MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLOGO. DRESSED BY:STUTTAFORDS. ACESSORIES: MODEL’S OWN.

M&P|cover story first, an experience she believes that God planned for her so that she would understand what other pregnant women were complaining about. “This has been a very difficult pregnancy. I was sick for much of the first seven months with nausea, cramps, and exhaustion, and I had a threatened miscarriage at eight weeks,” Ntombi admits.

Just as she turned the corner and began to feel well again, the couple was faced with devastating news. At a routine seven-month check-up, their unborn son was diagnosed with a very rare and life-threatening heart condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS). This congenital condition is usually detected as early as six to eight weeks, but in this instance it went undetected. “Sizwe was working in France, so I didn’t want to tell him until he got home a week later, because it wasn’t fair on him to hear the news so far away.” Ntombi explains, “We were told that he would either die before or shortly after birth, and they offered us a medical abortion. They wanted us to end the pregnancy because his heart condition is so severe and there is a lack of medical experience in treating it in South Africa.” She adds, “They offered to give me an injection that would stop his heart and end the pregnancy.”

For Ntombi and Sizwe there was no doubt that they wanted to continue with the pregnancy, to carry their baby to term and to trust in the plan that God had for them. “This unplanned pregnancy was a happy surprise for us, so we believe it was meant to be and this baby is God’s gift to us. We believe he is coming to us for a reason.” Ntombi also started to speak about her experience in public and she says that the support she’s received has been nothing short of amazing. Ntombi believes that she is encouraging other parents who are experiencing the same or similar situations to have courage. “Perhaps God’s plan is for me to reach out and help

others and create a support structure for parents in need of guidance. You are given the most devastating news and then sent home with your baby still in your womb to make the most difficult decision, all alone.

It is a terrible experience,” she confesses.

Whatever the outcome for Ntombi and Sizwe, their family and their extended families, the fact remains that they are buoyed by an incredible support structure that is entrenched in the belief that everything and everyone you encounter is a gift – you are you only because of those in your life. Their belief system encourages them to dig deeper and appreciate the value a person brings to your life, and the recognition of the bigger story that God has planned for you.

HYPOPLASTIC LEFT HEART SYNDROME (HLHS) HLHS is a rare congenital heart defect where parts of the left side of the heart do not develop completely. The right side of the heart then has to maintain the circulation for both lungs and the whole body. Complex treatment and surgery are necessary, otherwise the heart will fail with the additional strain.

BORN A MIRACLE Since doing the cover shoot, Ntombi and Sizwe welcomed their baby boy into the world. They named him Dunamis (a biblical, Greek name meaning ‘God’s Miraculous Power’) Asande Sizwe Junior Mzolo. After a painfully short two minutes together, he was taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to receive the best possible care. On 30 November 2015, he underwent major heart surgery and at this stage is recovering well in NICU. Ntombi shared with us from the hospital following her son’s birth: “I am proof that it is possible to get a diagnosis like this and still carry on. I want mothers and fathers out there who also receive a difficult diagnosis to know that it is not their fault. There is nothing you could have done to change the outcome. All you can do is love your child and know there is a reason for everything. They need you and they have brought you on a journey that you need to walk; they are a gift from God. Do not worry about what you cannot change, rather focus on what you can do, which is to love your baby and give them your very best.”

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M&P| working moms & dads

BRAVING

THE COUPLES’ COUCH TOGETHER Katherine Swift asks the experts about the benefits of couples counselling as part of maintaining a healthy relationship.

ouples and individuals often don’t recognise a decline in themselves or their relationship until the differences and arguments become insurmountable.

Counselling is then often sought as a last attempt to save the situation.

Different experts weigh in on the matter from a South African perspective.

THE CULTURE OF COUNSELLING Liesl Vogt, a clinical psychologist at the Bryanwood Therapy and Assessment Centre, says that although the practice of psychotherapy was imported from abroad, South African attitudes have

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become more open to the concept. In fact, seeing a professional outside of your circle of acquaintance or family is seen as more valuable and protective of the relationship, versus ‘gossiping’ to family members or friends who may present a biased view.” She adds, “Sadly, many do still see professional help as a sign of personal weakness or an inability to sort out one’s own problems.

Based upon his experience in private practice as a counselling psychologist at the Lighthouse Therapy Centre, Brian Blem believes this is indicative of a more proactive approach to life and dealing with problems. “If you have a problem, seek and find solutions,” Blem adds.

Counselling psychologist CarolAnn Dixon also admits to seeing more couples across all cultures than before. Chandra Valab, Senior Social Worker at The Family Life Centre (FAMSA) says that the act of seeking counselling might have been considered an invasion of a person’s privacy, religious and cultural beliefs.

“I guess to a certain extent, there may have also been the perceived threat of being dictated to by a stranger,” Valab adds.

According to Dixon, there have been quite extensive changes in the therapeutic approach. Most pastors/ couples’ counsellors did not see a couple as a unit, but rather as two individuals with a hierarchical relationship. She

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M&P| working moms & dads

S’

“… couples’ counselling offers a safe place to work through unresolved issues, increase levels of consciousness, and develop skills to improve their relationship experience with the help of a trained counsellor or therapist.” says, “With the Systems approach to family therapy, couples are now viewed as a dynamic unit, where both are equally responsible for their relationship. More recently, with the emergence of Imago therapy, Emotionfocused couples’ therapy, Encountercentred couples’ therapy and various other forms of relationship therapy that approach counselling from a more relational paradigm, the focus is more on the ‘space’ between and how the couple react or respond to each other.”

TAKING YOUR PROBLEMS TO STRANGERS Blem states that the internet has assisted in personalising the service

offerings available and encouraged more people to reach out for help. He emphasises the importance of couples’ counsellors having a good internet presence via their own personal website and other reference material, which helps people get a good feel for the practitioner’s personality and approach. “This should then be tested and confirmed in the first face-toface meeting, which gives the clients an opportunity to see if they wish to continue the relationship,” Blem advises.

“A notable change over the years has been the increase in the number of men accessing counselling, who may have previously thought it too touchy-feely,” admits Valab. The more

success there is in couples’ therapy the more stories are told, and the mindset begins to change. “As people are more exposed to reality TV, and social media,” maintains Dixon, “they understand more about their domestic lives.”

COUPLES’ COUNSELLING UNPACKED According to Blem, couples counselling offers a safe place to work through unresolved issues, increase levels of consciousness, and develop skills to improve their relationship experience with the help of a trained counsellor or therapist.

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M&P| working moms & dads “All healthy relationships will go through stressful times. Life is busy and it is this ‘busy-ness’ that can rob couples of emotional and physical intimacy.”

wounds from adulthood, including the relationship. He adds, “The skills are largely around communication and how to create greater safety within the relationship so that we can help one another to meet more of our needs in life.”

A GOOD IDEA FAMSA, government clinics and several churches and other NGO’s provide free couples’ counselling, or counselling at a reduced rate. Vogt says that these sessions offer a shortterm exploration and are helpful to couples whose churches require premarital counselling. Counselling is a good idea even when a relationship is healthy. Volunteer counsellor for Focus on the Family Lisa Comrie says, “It helps to keep it healthy and to recognise negative patterns early. All healthy relationships will go through stressful times. Life is busy and it is this ‘busy-ness’ that can rob couples of emotional and physical intimacy.”

Blem believes that marriage is one of the most fulfilling but also challenging

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experiences, especially when children arrive. “We all spend a great deal of time, energy and money getting an education or passing our driver’s licence. But we don’t invest nearly the same amount of time and energy in preparing for or understanding the most important thing in life – how to create and maintain intimacy with another human being,” he says.

Valab says that problems heighten our emotions and we are unable to think objectively or contain our thoughts and feelings.

“Professional counsellors offer the necessary containment, contextual framework and appropriate intervention through a safe, caring and enabling environment.” Sometimes couples stuck in a difficult relationship struggle to understand the underlying problem and a counsellor can really assist them to see things from a different perspective. According to Dixon, many couples brush their troubles under the carpet for years before deciding to end the relationship – taking their unresolved issues into new relationships.

Counselling Before Life-Changing Decisions “Counselling is seldom preventative, although it should be,” admits Blem. Unfortunately, people often only learn by making mistakes.

Couples erroneously believe that having children builds a strong bond that will allow them to overcome disagreements, when the opposite is in fact true. Their relationship needs to be strong enough to withstand

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IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, khoobsurati.com.

M&P| working moms & dads

the onslaught that a new baby brings to their previous way of life. Vogt suggests that all major life decisions a couple make should involve some form of thoughtful decision-making, which can be facilitated by a therapist or counsellor.

Counselling After A Disaster Comrie says that too often counselling is only sought when the relationship is already in crisis, such as after an affair. “So much damage has been

done that it makes it so much more difficult to come back from,” she says.

“Many people understand the need for training and mentorship in the workplace or on the sports field, sadly the idea of mentorship or counsel in marriage is frowned upon.”

Blem advises that a problem can be an opportunity in disguise for growth and new life. “The right help at the right time is critical to arrest the breakup and restore hope and belief

that things can be better by staying together. Use the available information and choose wisely.” Vogt concludes, “It may be a painful process, but it certainly offers couples an opportunity to grow stronger together rather than grow apart.”

For further information on couples’ counselling, visit www.bryanwood.co.za, www.famsa.org.za, www.kznimago.co.za, www.lighthousetherapycentre.co.za or www. safamily.co.za.

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M&P|family law

Advocate Veerash Srikison stresses the importance of understanding how you can protect those who are in need of your assets once you have passed away.

he Wills Act 7 of 1953 provides the regulations of ‘inheritance’ and below are some basic guidelines for drawing up a will that will help your family transition through their period of mourning.

WHAT MAKES A WILL VALID?  You, known as the testator (a person who has the will drawn up for themself) must be 16 years or older and mentally capable of understanding the nature and effect of your actions.  The will must be in writing.  You must initial/sign every page of the will and the end of the will.  Two competent witnesses (older than 14 years of age) must be present when you sign your will and must also sign the will in your presence and each other’s presence.  If you make changes to your will, then two competent witnesses must be present when you sign the changes and they must sign the changes in your presence and in each other’s presence.

THE PURPOSE OF YOUR WILL  To divide your property and appoint an executor to make sure that your property is divided according to your wishes set

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out in your will. Be sure to appoint someone who is trustworthy, as he or she will be in charge of collecting all of your assets and settling your debts, and dividing the balance of your assets amongst your heirs. You can appoint more than one executor. If you have not appointed an executor, the family may agree to nominate an executor. If there is disagreement, the Master of the High Court has the discretion to appoint a person.  To appoint or nominate people who will act as guardians of your minor child(ren) and create a trust to provide for your child(ren)’s future maintenance and education.

DEBT ON AN ASSET THAT WOULD BE INHERITED The common law assumption is that an asset on which there is still a debt (an encumbered asset) is bequeathed without the debt, unless the will explicitly says otherwise. In other words, the outstanding debt on the assets is paid out of the estate unless you specifically state who will take over such debt on that particular asset.

IF YOU DIE WITHOUT A WILL If you die without a will, your estate will be distributed in terms of the rules of Intestate

USEFUL TIPS  If you choose to create a will on your own using a template will purchased from a stationery store, make sure that you include terms and clauses that are particular to your circumstances which can be enforced.  If you put conditions of inheritance in your will, be sure to include sanctions should these conditions not be fulfilled.  When there are significant changes in your life, it is important to review your will for any amendments you would need to make and use the words ‘this is my last will and testament’ once you have updated your will.  You should also keep in mind the change in laws that will affect your assets, liabilities and cash flow, along with the tax implications that will affect the monetary value of certain assets you bequeath to your heirs.

Disclaimer: Please note that the information contained in this article must not be read as legal advice to a particular person and that each case must be evaluated on its merits upon consultation.

IMAGE: WWW.TELEGRAPH.CO.UK.

WHERE THERE’S A WILL...

Succession. This means that:  If you were married, your spouse will inherit your entire estate.  If you were married with children, your estate will be shared between your spouse and your children.  If you have children but no spouse, your children will inherit your entire estate which will be deposited into the Guardian’s Fund until they reach the age of majority and then they will receive equal distribution of your assets, unless you specifically allocate their inheritance.  If you do not have a spouse or any children, your parents will get everything.  If you do not have parents, your siblings will inherit and so on.  If you have divorced your spouse and have not updated your will within three months of the divorce order being granted, your ex-spouse will inherit fully in terms of your will.

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M&P|parents with pizzazz

wiggle and move was always such a joy. I also didn’t know that I was having a boy, so it was so much fun when everyone tried to guess.

How do you cope with work and home stresses?

My husband Christopher and I are a great team and help to keep each other pretty calm and level headed.

MEGHAN LESS

Training Manager for Poise Brands

COMPILED BY THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGE: MEGHAN LESS.

Describe one moment in your childhood that you would like to relive.

The carefree days of my childhood summers and playing outside until the streetlights came on. When they did, I knew I had to go home.

What parenting methods did you copy from elders in your family?

Go easy on yourself. My mom always told me that whatever I do is perfect for my child and it has helped me to not stress too much through this journey. Also never hesitate to ask for help. It really does take a village to raise a child.

What values would you like to instill in your child?

To be honest and to stand up for what is right, protect those who cannot help themselves, and to try and leave the world better than when it was given to them.

What are your most memorable moments about your pregnancy?

I LOVED being pregnant! Feeling my son, Hayden (9 months)

Where does your passion for your career come from?

I’ve always believed that if you love what you do, you will always be excited to do your job. The minute you lose that, it’s time for a change.

Who is your biggest inspiration and why?

My mom – she has taught me so many valuable lessons in life, and she is also the most loving, honest and fun person I know.

Describe your perfect day.

Preferably at the beach or at my family’s lake home. I am happiest near the water.

How do you spend time with your family?

We try not to plan ahead too much; just being able to spend time together makes us happy.

Define motherhood.

The wildest, most rewarding thing I have ever had the pleasure of being blessed to do.

RAPID FIRE Favourite song? Blackbird by the Beatles Favourite gadget? My iPad Mini Spa day or retail therapy? I LOVE to shop!

Favourite getaway spot? My parent’s lakehouse.

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M&P|parents with pizzazz

What is your definition of motherhood?

To wake up each morning and look at your beautiful children and feel so much love that it hurts.

What changes have you made in your career to accommodate being a mother?

I was very career driven and wanted to run an empire. After having kids, I had to prioritise more and realised that I could just not have an empire and give my kids the family life they deserved. I now have a bit of both – a career and a family – and try to bring that happy medium to both.

What are your most memorable moments about your pregnancy?

Feeling both my girls, Kate (6) and Olivia (3½), move for the first time and hearing their heartbeats. If those could be bottled, that would be wonderful.

Describe any family tradition that you particularly enjoyed as a child?

Christmas. The whole experience from cutting the tree down on the farm to decorating it and the house. Also, the Christmas stocking filled with little presents at the end of my bed and the family lunch.

Describe the influence your biggest inspiration has had on your life choices.

My mom taught me to work hard and not to settle for anything but the best for me. She also taught me honesty, kindness and to fight for what I believe in.

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What role do you think women have to play in society at large and their family?

Women are the puzzle piece that keeps a family grounded and together. At the same time, woman play just as an important part in society as they are generally hard-working and level-headed.

How do you hope to inspire your children to become successful adults?

I hope that my values of honesty and hard work will be instilled in my girls. I also believe that lots of love and kindness is important.

When you’re not working, where can we find you?

Spending time with the family, gardening or in the kitchen.

What does your family do on a typical Sunday afternoon?

Lazing around and swimming in summer. Watching movies in winter.

RAPID FIRE Favourite song? Just give me a reason by PINK and Nate Ruess Favourite gadget? My phone Spa day or retail therapy? Spa day!

Favourite getaway spot? The coast. Anywhere that has sea and sand!

COMPILED BY THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGE: SANDRA GAIL GREAVES CAMPBELL.

Owner of Change the Conversation PR

How do you encourage your family to live a healthy lifestyle?

The kids don’t eat takeout at all and Keith and I limit their sugar intake. We encourage them to take part in extramurals like dancing and gymnastics.

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2015/12/11 11:18 AM

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M&P|reviews

Affectionately called ‘the father of motivation’ by his fans, the late Dr Dyer was an internationally renowned author, speaker, and pioneer in the field of self-development.

His first book, Your Erroneous Zones (1976), is one of the best-selling books of all time. Memories of Heaven features children’s shared dialogues with God, which talk about long-deceased family members they knew while in the dimension of Spirit, verify past-life recollections, and give evidence of having had a hand in picking their own families. Parents are encouraged to take a much more active role in communicating with their children and to realise that there is far more to this earthly experience than what we perceive with our five senses.

THE ULTIMATE DOMESTIC WORKERS GUIDE Elanè vd Westhuizen and Charmaine Murray R160 (if ordered directly) The authors own a recruitment agency for domestic workers and, in accordance with the Basic Conditions of Employment Act, aim to fill a gap in the knowledge market regarding their employment and address issues on how to safeguard both parties in a professional and legal manner. Included is a guide on recordkeeping for both employer and employee.

Facebook: DomesticWorkerGuide.

THE FIRST 30 DAYS Ariane De Bonvoisin R200 (Jonathan Ball Publishers) De Bonvoisin talks to readers about the very relevant issue of how to deal with and adapt to change – whether it’s divorce, empty nesters, graduation, retrenchment, career change, finishing school, having a baby, retiring or mourning death. The author has been published in magazines all over the world and has appeared on Oprah and the Today Show to mention a few.

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ROALD DAHL’S HOUSE OF TWITS iTunes & Android R54.99 Fans of Roald Dahl will delight at the chance to poke Mrs Twit’s glass eye, feed Mr Twit worms and play tricks to unlock mini games! Explore the Twits’ house, including the filthy kitchen, Mr Twit’s shed and even the ghastly bathroom, and work out the secret ways to score Trick Points. Also try Roald Dahl’s Twit or Miss or get the Roald Dahl Audiobooks app to hear your favourite stories read by famous voices, including Kate Winslet, Stephen Fry and Chris O’Dowd.

BABYBUMP PREGNANCY PRO WITH BABY NAMES iTunes & Android Free Track your days right up to the date of the birth and arrival of your baby.

Perfect for first-time mothers who want to remain on top of everything, from belly images and your baby’s kicks, or check out their selection of baby names to help you with that all-important decision.

XANDER ENGLISH LEARNING BUNDLE 3-in-1 iTunes & Android R54.99 Perfect for back-to-school, this app helps with early childhood development and is optimised through mother-tongue learning. Children can learn the names and pronunciation of different body parts, clothing and weather, and engage with high quality educational Xander apps in the comfort of your home.

COMPILED BY THINA MTHEMBU AND TRACY MAHER. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY PUBLISHERS, GOOGLE PLAY STORE, ITUNES.

MEMORIES OF HEAVEN Dr Wayne W. Dyer (co-authored

by Dee Garnes) R215.95 (Hay House Inc.)

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M&P|deConstruct to Construct

MAKING THE

CUT

IMAGE: ©iSTOCK.COM.

Fumani Shilubana talks about the need for fathers to take the lead when it comes to circumcision of their sons. rowing up as the only boy with two sisters, I was filled with a rush of emotion and joy the day the ultrasound revealed that Boitumelo and I were pregnant with a boy. Children don’t come with instruction manuals and we sought a lot of advice from both our families, which included taking my son for circumcision when he was 10. I wanted to be there for him during this time in the same way that my mother and father had been for me when I was 10 – she watching the procedure carefully and my father holding my hand to distract me. Their presence made me feel brave despite my fear of needles and I knew that one day I would want my son to feel the same love and support I did.

My son, VP, turned 10 in 2015 and as we left for Siluvana Village, the thought of him experiencing any kind of pain was frightening. But I knew that I had prepared him well – so much so that he was looking forward to it! When we arrived at the clinic, I looked around to see the other parents with their sons.

What struck me the most was the

absence of fathers; I could only count three men and the rest were women.

Logic dictates that this should be the father’s responsibility and I was immediately determined that FatherFigureZA work even harder on the issue of absent fathers. I had begun to prepare VP for this when he was six and I remember him being terrified when I first explained what would happen. He was used to showering with me and this eased his fear, as we would talk about it and he knew that I was circumcised. I took a week off from work to make sure I could walk him through the process and the pain; I showed him how to clean the area and praised his bravery. This attention only served to strengthen our bond and deepen his trust in me.

Upon returning to work the following week, a female friend related how scared she was for her son after taking him for circumcision. The father of her two boys was not involved in their lives and had, of course, not been there for his son at this crucial milestone event. She sought advice and help from me and I understood how desperate she felt as a mother unable to relate to her son about his experience.

When I consulted Dr Ntsakisi Bandi about the role of the fathers, she explained that her research revealed the cold, hard facts: some fathers were just not around and others had to work, while some men insisted that their boys be sent to initiation schools in the mountains rather than for a medical circumcision. Dr Bandi also explained why medical circumcision is a hygienic and healthy choice. Many young boys develop infections as they are not taught proper hygiene, and some run the risk of developing phimosis, a disorder of the foreskin that results in painful erections that don’t subside.

I urge fathers or father figures to take over from the mothers and help their sons through this time. Not only will your son feel more able to share his feelings and concerns with you, but it also provides the perfect opportunity to strengthen your relationship. It is time to DeConstruct the backseat mentality of primitive rites of passage and the roles that men play in the community, and Construct a norm in society where fathers take the initiative regarding their sons’ medical circumcision.

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M&P|cancer column

CANCERS DURING PREGNANCY The cancers that are identified during pregnancy are, interestingly, those most commonly found in much younger individuals, such as:  Breast cancer  Thyroid cancer  Cervical cancer  Melanoma (the most dangerous form of skin cancer)  Hodgkin’s lymphoma (cancer of the lymphatic system)  Gestational trophoblastic tumour (cancer of a woman’s reproductive system)  Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma (cancer that starts in the lymph nodes and lymphatic system).

There are various risks and benefits to consider once diagnosed although, as with any other cancer, treatment will consequently depend on whether or not the cancer has spread, one’s general health and the form of cancer diagnosed. Upon discussing the safest treatment options, the following treatments are considered: chemotherapy, radiation and surgery.

Dr Litton of the MD Anderson Cancer Centre in Houston (US) reveals that the

CANCER & PREGNANCY

Zoleka Mandela explains that there is a small percentage of women who are diagnosed with cancer whilst pregnant and although there has not been enough research conducted, expectant mothers do not have an increased risk of developing cancer. older a woman becomes, the greater their odds are of developing cancer and that should they wait until their 30s or 40s to have a baby, a cancer diagnosis during pregnancy can occur. However, should that be the case, the mother can be treated without harming the foetus.

It is equally important to state that pregnant women with cancer are in fact able to give birth to a baby that is in good health due to the reason that cancer seldom affects the unborn child directly.

Even though certain cancers have the potential to spread to the placenta, the majority are unlikely to spread to the foetus. Despite it being a harrowing experience for both the mother and the baby, there are doctors who specialise in treating pregnant women with cancer.

Recovery is almost always the same as that of a woman who is not pregnant and who is of the similar age with the same stage of cancer.

Cancer.Net suggests you ask your cancer specialist the following important questions if you have been diagnosed with cancer in pregnancy: 1. How much experience do you have treating pregnant women with cancer?

2. How will you work with my obstetrician?

3. Do I need to have any special tests?

4. What treatment plan do you recommend? Why? 5. Do I need to begin treatment right away, or should I wait to start treatment?

6. Could delaying treatment affect my prognosis?

7. What are the short- and long-term risks of my treatment plan for me and for the baby?

8. Will treatment affect my delivery choice? How? 9. Will I still be able to breastfeed?

10. What support services and other resources are available to me? To my family?

IMAGE: WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.CA.

eing diagnosed with a lifethreatening disease such as cancer has the tendency to leave one in absolute fear of death regardless of their age, gender or creed. Some cancer treatments are known to be relatively safe to use in pregnancy and therefore relatively harmless to the foetus.

Treatment to destroy the cancer, such as radiation, would be more damaging to the baby in comparison to the mother who may need it. Radiation is always unsafe during pregnancy, although it may be safe and effective in individuals who have cancers that have spread to other parts of the body.

This column is dedicated to the late Feziwe Radebe, the courageous cancer fighter who died in October 2008.

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M&P|news & tips NEW FLATBAR SNACK RANGE Cecilia’s Farm, situated just outside Ceres, has a brand new flatbar, miniflatbar and snack-pack packaging that is the perfect treat for any occasion – from lunchbox snacks and children’s party-pack treats, to a convenient snack for moms on the go. @CeciliasFarm #onceuponafarm #driedfruit

SOURCES AND IMAGES: HATCH COMMUNICATION, ATMOSPHERE COMMUNICATIONS, BIZNEWS CONNECT, BOSTIK MARKETING, SILVERAY STATIONERY COMPANY, FREEBEES PR, WWW.HEALTHYCHILD.ORG.

STABILO DOES FASHION

With the JEANS edition, STABILO shows how your kids can be fashion forward with jeans at school or university – or even you at the office! The tailor-made jeans sets for the STABILO pen 68 Mini and point 88 Mini not only look fantastic but are also suitable for use as smartphone cases. What is cooler than carrying your STABILO swing cool, point 88 Mini or pen 68 Mini?

These limited edition sets make great back-to-school gifts for stylish girls and trendy boys!

STICKER FUN WITH BOSTIK Always innovating, Bostik wants to make back-to-school time fun by including a special set of funky stickers with every 100g pack of Prestik. The wonder product with 101 uses will help you plan your weeks and your children’s schedules, and of course ensure the latest artwork is on display for all to see! The ‘wax-like’ paper that ensures your Prestik pulls off easily is filled with free smiley-faced reward stickers for you to use and share with your friends and family anytime Look out for the bright new packaging!

A BALANCED LUNCH BOX The Nestlé’s 2014 TuckShop Truths survey commissioned in 2014 reports that children mostly preferred food items such as chips, chocolates, pies, hot dogs, white bread sandwiches and doughnuts. Although 71 percent of children participate in sports, 36 percent of parents surveyed admitted that their children eat nothing before playing their sport of choice. Naazneen Khan, Health and Wellness Manager at Nestlé South Africa, says, “A healthy and well-balanced lunch is vital for children’s development and consistent concentration and energy throughout the school day.” Khan adds, “A balanced lunch box should include lean protein, starch, vegetables, fruit, dairy products and water – not only for break time, but for after school activities as well.”

What are parents giving their children as snacks?

62 percent – fresh fruit 32 percent – biltong 33 percent – crisps 12 percent – energy bars 11 percent – throw in a few sweets.

HAMLEYS MAGIC SPREADS TO NELSON MANDELA SQUARE Following hot on the heels of the openings of their V&A Waterfront and Greenstone shops in August 2015, Hamleys opened their third store in South Africa on 1 December 2015, just in time for Chri stmas. Hamley’s South Africa CEO Philip Paphitis said, “We are delighted to launch our third Hamleys toy shop at Nelson Mandela Square, an iconic and popular destination that caters to a wide South African audience.

Shopping at Hamleys is a unique experience, and with our latest expansion, that experience is more accessible and convenient than ever.” From the traditional to the high-tech, to games and puzzles, arts and crafts, magic tricks, and the Luvley Boutique stocked with glittering goodies, Hamleys offers more than 10 000 carefully selected toys guaranteed to excite children of all ages. For additional information and details, follow Hamleys South Africa on Facebook or visit www.hamleys.co.za.

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M&P|real-life story

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M&P|real-life story

WORDS AND IMAGE: NDLILISA DIDIZA.

Two years ago Ndlilisa Didiza reunited with Tumie, the father of her daughter, and the couple looked forward to growing their family together. dlilisa always wanted to have a second child and quietly prayed for a boy as Tumie and her already had a beautiful 14-yearold daughter, Onwaba. Despite her daughter’s nagging for a sibling, Ndlilisa told herself that the timing was never quite right. That is, until she and Tumie were reunited as a couple.

Although she had a few serious relationships during their separation, these had never borne children and it was only when the family got back together that she felt ready to try.

The couple often comment on the power of his prayers as Tumie had patiently waited for her to commit her heart to him. When Ndlilisa told Tumie that she had missed her period, he could not contain his excitement. Initially they wanted to wait until they were financially ready and Ndlilisa had quit her job to focus on developing her own business, but God had other plans for the couple and they accepted this willingly.

After a home pregnancy test confirmed her suspicions, Ndlilisa thanked the Lord for giving her a son. “As of this moment, I dedicate him to you,” she prayed, filled with excitement to the extent that she knew she wanted to name him Yongama, a Xhosa word meaning ‘to conquer’. Since it had been 13 years since her first pregnancy, she was excited and the couple started to buy nappies from as early as eight weeks, whenever they saw a special. Her initial due date was 17 March – Tumie’s birthday – but her gynaecologist wanted to schedule her for a Caesarean.

Ndlilisa resigned from her job before she started to show, which gave her a better opportunity to focus on a healthy pregnancy. Tumie was by her

side for all of her check-ups and with every visit a sonar was done. Even when the medical aid stopped paying, the couple continued to pay out of pocket because they wanted to make sure that everything went well. And with every visit, the doctor happily in formed them that the baby was developing perfectly.

At her last check-up a week before the delivery date, the doctor weighed her and routinely checked for Yongama’s heartbeat. Ndlilisa felt a lump in her throat when she saw that there was no movement around the heart cavity on the screen and no noise came from the sonar. The doctor asked her when she had last felt her baby move. She looked over at Tumie and saw tears in his eyes, but Ndlilisa refused to believe that her son was no longer alive. They were referred to a second doctor who confirmed that their baby was gone.

Ndlilisa could not bear the thought of going home with Yongama inside her, knowing he was not alive.

The saddest part was having to break the news to Onwaba. She had played music for her brother when he painfully punched his mother’s ribs, and helped her mother to pack the hospital bag.

She saw Yongama for a few brief moments after the C-section. Born with a lot of hair at 4.5kg, the baby boy looked a lot like his mother. They don’t understand why Yongama was stillborn and as the family deals with their devastating loss, Ndlilisa emphasises that they don’t blame the gynae or God. The pain will never go away, but changes form and chooses its own time to surface. The couple believe that they will be united with him one day and don’t doubt that he is their guardian angel. Rather than dwell on their loss, they choose to hold onto the great joy he brought to their lives.

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M&P|exercise

EXERCISE YOUR LOVE MUSCLE! Most women have heard of doing pelvic floor exercises for childbirth.

But did you know that working these muscles could help you have better orgasms and prevent incontinence?

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WORDS: TRACY MAHER. SOURCES: TENA.CO.ZA, LOLEWOMEN.COM. IMAGES: MUMMEBABY.COM, WWW.WALSHTHEFATAWAY.COM.

M&P|exercise our pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle stretches all along your genital region, from the pubic bone to the tailbone, like a hammock. The best way to locate your PC muscles is to try and stop the flow of your urine midstream.

This is only to feel for the right muscles and should not be done regularly as it can be harmful and interfere with your usual urinary function. When you contract these muscles, they should squeeze and lift up into the body without tensing the buttocks or thighs. Tightening of the anus (as if holding in a wind) can help. Any medical professional can help you if you are not sure you are doing it correctly.

BENEFITS OF A STRONG PELVIC FLOOR For sex: Both men and women with strong, healthy pelvic floor muscles will find their sexual experiences more intense. Kegel exercises increase blood flow to the genital

region, a key factor in arousal, and there is the potential for stronger and longer-lasting orgasms. There is some evidence to suggest that Kegels can help men suffering from erectile dysfunction to get more erections.

For urination and elimination: Again, both men and women who exercise their pelvic floor will experience better bladder and bowel control.

For labour and delivery: Most commonly suggested for pregnant women, Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor and make it more able to accommodate the stretching required to push a baby out. The stronger the muscles are, the less damage there might be after the birth and the quicker postbirth recovery might be.

Step Three Remember to exercise these muscles when you actually engage them, such as moments when you laugh, cough, bend over or anything that might make you leak urine.

HOW TO EXERCISE THE PELVIC FLOOR

Whatever your reason for becoming a Kegeler, you can step it up a notch by using vaginal weights to increase the resistance during your exercises. ď Ź Women can try toys such as Smartballs or ben-wa balls, which are placed inside the vagina and left there for a few hours a day to strengthen and tighten the PC or Kegel muscles. ď Ź Men who are able to get erections can drape a light washcloth over their erect penis and move it up and down with each clenching motion.

These exercises can be done several times a day, totalling 30 to 40 repetitions. The great part is that they can be done discreetly in almost any position, anywhere: sitting, standing, lying down.

Step One Hold and squeeze the muscles for one or two seconds. Gradually increase this to 10 seconds and repeat as often as you can, until you reach 10 repetitions.

Step Two Rests should be the same duration as contractions. If you squeeze for 10 seconds, rest for 10 seconds. Also, alternate between fast and hard contractions with a quick release, and slow, controlled contractions with a slow release.

For How Long Should You Exercise Your Pelvic Floor?

If you exercise as directed, you should notice a difference by two to four months, but physiotherapists recommend continuing for six months for the best results. Once you have optimum control over your pelvic floor muscles, you should continue to exercise them but can reduce the amount of exercise.

TAKING KEGELS A STEP FURTHER

Strengthening your PC muscles has benefits all round, for you and your partner. So why not make a daily Kegel date and work on maximising your sexual pleasure, whether you are planning for a baby or not!

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M&P|recipes

Y A D Tina Bester shares her tantalising and easy meal A R O F suggestions for a family of four to make the most of your meat-free Mondays.

LIME QUINOA SALAD WITH FRESH SPRING GREENS & CHIMICHURRI Take a humdrum salad to a new level of yum with fresh vegetables and flavoursome chimichurri.

Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 20 minutes Ingredients Lime quinoa salad: 1 cup (250 ml) quinoa, rinsed 2 cups (500 ml) vegetable stock 1 tbsp. (15 ml) coconut oil 1 lime, juice and zest freshly grated ¼ tsp. (1.25 ml) salt ¼ tsp. (1.25 ml) freshly ground black pepper 280 g Quorn Vegan Savoury Pieces 2 tbsp. (30 ml) olive oil 8 snap peas, sliced in half lengthways 80 g fresh peas, cooked 2 baby marrows, julienned 2 avocados, cubed 1 small yellow pepper, chopped 1 spring onion, finely sliced 2 tbsp. (30 ml) fresh coriander 50 g pumpkin seeds 1 lime, juice Chimichurri: 1 cup (250 ml) fresh coriander ½ cup (125 ml) fresh parsley ¼ cup (60 ml) fresh oregano 2 garlic cloves, crushed ¼ cup (60 ml) red wine vinegar 2 /3cup (160 ml) olive oil ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) salt ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) freshly ground black pepper

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Method

Lime quinoa salad: Place the quinoa and stock into a saucepan over high heat and bring to a boil. Once boiling, reduce the heat to low and cover the saucepan. Cook for about 15 minutes, or until all of the liquid has been absorbed. Stir in the coconut oil, lime juice, zest, salt and pepper. Allow to cool. Fry the Quorn Vegan Savoury Pieces in the olive oil until golden brown and add to the quinoa along with the rest of the ingredients. Adjust the seasoning.

Chimichurri: Combine the coriander, parsley, oregano and garlic in a food processor and pulse until finely chopped. Add the vinegar and while the motor is running, pour in the olive oil in a steady stream and mix until just combined. Stir in the salt and pepper – adjust the seasoning if necessary. Serve with the quinoa salad.

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M&P|recipes MOROCCAN QUORN VEGAN NUGGETS WITH LEMON & MINT DRESSING & SPICY POTATO SALAD Perfect for lighter eating and great for entertaining!

Prep time: 15 minutes Cook time: 20 minutes Ingredients Spicy potato salad: 450 g potatoes, unpeeled 1 tsp. (5 ml) salt 3 tbsp. (45 ml) olive oil ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) ground cumin ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) ground ginger ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) salt ¼ tsp. (1.25 ml) freshly ground black pepper ¼ tsp. (1.25 ml) ground coriander ¼ tsp. (1.25 ml) cayenne pepper ¼ tsp. (1.25 ml) ground allspice Pinch of ground cloves 1 cup (250 ml) soya or vegan yoghurt 2 tbsp. (30 ml) red wine vinegar ½ cup (125 ml) mint, roughly chopped ½ cup (125 ml) flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped 1 lemon, zest 1 orange, zest ½ cup (125 ml) black olives, roughly chopped Moroccan nuggets: 2 x 280 g Quorn Vegan Nuggets 2 cloves garlic 2 cm piece fresh ginger, peeled and roughly grated 1 tsp. (5 ml) cayenne pepper 2 tbsp. (30 ml) fresh coriander, chopped 2 tbsp. (30 ml) fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped 1 tbsp. (15 ml) smoked paprika 1½ tsp. (7.5 ml) ground cumin ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) ground cinnamon 1 tsp. (5 ml) salt Freshly ground black pepper ½ cup (125 ml) olive oil 1 lemon, rind and juice Olive oil, for frying

½ tsp. (2.5 ml) salt Freshly ground black pepper 1 tbsp. (15 ml) honey ½ lime, juice Pomegranate seeds and fresh mint leaves, for garnish (optional) Method Spicy potato salad: Boil the potatoes in a large saucepan filled with salted, boiling water. Cook until just tender. Drain the potatoes and transfer to a large bowl. Set aside to cool. Cut into wedges.

Heat the olive oil in a small saucepan over medium heat and add the cumin, ginger, salt, black pepper, coriander, cayenne pepper, allspice and cloves and cook for one minute. Pour this infused olive oil over the potatoes, and mix to combine. Add the yoghurt, vinegar, mint, parsley, lemon zest, orange zest and black olives and gently combine. Adjust the seasoning if necessary and refrigerate until cool.

Moroccan Quorn vegan nuggets: Place the garlic, ginger, cayenne pepper, coriander, parsley, smoked paprika, cumin, salt and pepper into the bowl of a food processor and whizz for two minutes. Add the olive oil, lemon zest and juice and whizz for 30 seconds. Pour the marinade over the Quorn Vegan Nuggets and toss well. Leave to marinate for 30 minutes minimum and then drain the excess marinade. Heat the olive oil and fry the nuggets until golden brown.

Lemon and mint vinaigrette: Add the lemon zest and juice to a small saucepan. Bring the mixture to a simmer until the zest absorbs the juice. Spoon the zest into a small bowl and add the olive oil, parsley, mint, salt, pepper, honey and lime juice. Whisk to combine.

Set aside. Serve the Moroccan nuggets with the lemon and mint vinaigrette and the spicy potato salad.

Lemon and mint vinaigrette: 2 lemons, rind and juice ½ cup (125 ml) olive oil 1 tbsp. (15 ml) fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped 2 tbsp. (30 ml) fresh mint, chopped

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M&P|recipes 2 x 264 g Quorn Vegan Hot & Spicy Burgers

QUORN VEGAN BURGER WITH HOT FENNEL & RAINBOW CARROT SLAW & ONION RINGS

A delicious healthy burger alternative with crunchy slaw and crispy onion rings.

Prep Time: 30 minutes plus overnight soaking time for the onions Cook Time: 20 minutes Ingredients Onion rings: 2 red onions, thickly sliced 2 cups (500 ml) soya milk or milk alternative Batter: 150 g flour 50 g corn flour 1 tsp. (5 ml) baking powder 1 tsp. (5 ml) castor sugar 1 tsp. (5 ml) salt 330 ml beer ½ tsp. (2.5 ml) cayenne pepper 2 cups (500 ml) vegetable oil, for frying

Vinaigrette:

4 burger buns or bagels, halved and toasted Leafy greens Method Onion rings: Soak the onion slices in the milk / milk alternative overnight to help extract any bitterness.

Batter: Place all of the ingredients for the batter into a bowl and whisk together until smooth. Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Dip the onion rings into the batter and fry in the hot oil until golden brown and cooked through.

Vinaigrette: Heat a griddle pan over high heat. Drizzle a little olive oil onto the cut side of the lemon halves. Place them cut side down, on the very hot griddle pan. Sear for 4 minutes. Give the lemons a quarter turn and sear for another two minutes. Squeeze the juice and pulp into a bowl and add the rest of the ingredients for the vinaigrette and whisk together well.

Slaw: Heat the oil in a pan and flash fry the fennel and carrots.

Remove from the heat, add the walnuts and pour the vinaigrette over the hot slaw. Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat and fry the Quorn Hot & Spicy Burgers.

To assemble: Place leafy greens, two patties, slaw and onion rings onto the bottom half of the buns and top with the other half.

3 lemons, halved 1 tbsp. (15 ml) mustard 3 tbsp. (45 ml) olive oil Âź tsp. (1.25 ml) salt Freshly ground black pepper 2 tbsp. (30 ml) honey

Slaw: 1 tbsp. (15 ml) olive oil 4 baby fennel bulbs, tops removed and thinly sliced 3 rainbow carrots, thinly sliced on a mandolin 50 g walnuts, toasted in a dry pan 1 tbsp. (30 ml) olive oil

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M&P|recipes QUORN VEGAN CRUMBED SCHNITZEL WITH BEETROOT & PARSNIP RÖSTI SEARED ASPARAGUS & ROASTED EXOTIC TOMATOES A healthy vegetable rösti makes this schnitzel dish ideal as a light lunch or dinner.

Prep time: 15 minutes Cooking time: 20 minutes

RECIPES: TINA BESTER. IMAGES: QUORN.

Ingredients Parsnip rösti: 2 beetroots, roughly grated 2 parsnips, roughly grated 2 cloves garlic, crushed 1 small red onion, roughly grated and liquid squeezed out 1 egg 2 tbsp. (30 ml) olive oil 100 g asparagus 300 g exotic tomatoes ¼ cup (60 ml) olive oil Salt and freshly ground black pepper ¼ cup (60 ml) soya or vegan yoghurt 1 tsp. (5 ml) horseradish 2 x 200 g Quorn Vegan Crumbed Schnitzel 1 yellow beetroot, shaved, for serving Rocket leaves, for serving

Method Parsnip rösti: Place all of the ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Heat the olive oil in a pan. Divide the rösti mixture into four portions and fry in the hot olive oil for about two to three minutes on each side.

Place the asparagus and baby tomatoes on a baking tray, drizzle with half of the olive oil, season with salt and pepper and pop under the grill for four minutes. Mix the soya or vegan yoghurt and horseradish together. Heat the remaining olive oil and fry the Quorn Vegan Crumbed Schnitzel on both sides until golden brown.

To serve: Place a rösti onto each plate, top with asparagus, a schnitzel and a dollop of the horseradish mixture and serve with the roasted exotic tomatoes, beetroot shavings and fresh rocket.

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M&P|travel

A DESERT

Romance Kgalagadi Lodge, situated between the red sand dunes of the Kalahari, is the ideal desert haven where modern meets wilderness.

SUNSET OVER THE BORDER OF BOTSWANA

ecently established, Kgalagadi Lodge now occupies what was once empty, desert land and is located 250 kilometres from Upington Airport, and only five kilometres from the popular Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park. Perfect for adventure seekers, founders SJ and Denise Koortzen recognised an opportunity in the bare terrain to create a luxurious, familyowned and operated lodge to offer the best services and products to weary travellers and holiday-makers.

With every detail being handpicked, Kgalagadi Lodge is truly a reflection of dedication and passion for hospitality.

DINE AT THE 50-SEATER RESTAURANT

ACCOMMODATION Only 5km from the Twee Rivieren gate of the Kgalagadi National Transfrontier

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M&P|travel simply looking for the perfect getaway.

Find everything under one roof for your convenience: a 50-seater restaurant that offers authentic South African cuisine; a fully-stocked grocery shop and liquor store, and picnic packs available for guests visiting the park. All chalets are fully self-catering and come equipped with air-condtioning, DSTV, an outside braai area, tea and coffee, and certain toiletry items, along with a room-service menu.

SELF-CATERING FAMILY CHALET

KGALAGADI TRANSFRONTIER PARK

COMPILED BY TRACY MAHER. IMAGES: KGALAGADI LODGE.

RELAX ON YOUR CHALET PATIO

Park, Kgalagadi Lodge offers the perfect affordable, alternative to staying in the national park.The clean, fresh, modern style chalets and camping complement the area. Select your preference from an array of strategically placed modern chalets, (four-star family chalets, threestar luxury, standard and business chalets) as well as a four-star campsite with a swimming pool and fire pit.

Whether you want to watch the sunrise from your patio, witness the setting sun from the dune behind your chalet or stare into the starry night canvas, the accommodation offers mesmerising vistas that will ensure your return.

For those seeking a proudly natural environment fused with contemporary living right on your doorstep in South Africa, this is the perfect destination for your next getaway. Kgalagadi Lodge, where rugged terrain and luxury meet.

FACILITIES There are a variety of services, whatever your need – whether a pit stop en route to your destination, to explore the famous national park, or

The lodge is your ideal base to explore the national park, which is the epicentre of the Kalahari Desert and comprises a breathtaking 3.6 million hectares.

It is one of the very few conservation areas of this magnitude left in the world and is a result of an amalgamation of the Kalahari Gemsbok National Park in South Africa (proclaimed in 1931) and the Gemsbok National Park in Botswana. Summer temperatures in the Kalahari basin can climbs upwards of 40°C. Between December and April, annual tropical thunderstorms deliver a huge amount of rain in a short time to transform the desert into a green oasis with colourful wild flowers all over. The winter months from June to August bring a pleasant climate with dry air and temperatures hovering around the 25°C mark. This is also the best time for game viewing, but be prepared for extremely cold nights.

KGALAGADI LODGE ENTRANCE

Visit www.kgalagadi-lodge.co.za for more information or to make a booking.

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THE ROAD TO SAFETY All parents want their little ones to be secure; Katherine Swift explores car safety as you transport your most precious cargo around.

regnant women and parents with small kids drive for many different reasons. It is imperative that the time you spend in the car is as safe as it can be. Remember, you are your baby’s first safety seat.

Safety First Being pregnant does not exempt you from wearing a seat belt while driving or as a passenger, either in the front or rear of the car. The lap belt portion of the seat belt should be placed well under your pregnant tummy, snugly fitting over your pelvis and pubic bone and across your hips as high up on your thighs as possible. It's really important that while driving, you constantly check to see the lap belt has not risen up over your bump.

Frontal air bags prevent drivers and front seat passengers from hitting the steering wheel, dashboard or windshield. It’s advisable to sit as far back from the steering wheel as your legs will allow with the steering wheel tilted, normally downwards, to suit the size of your bump and stature.

Never turn off the air bags just because you're pregnant and air bags should not be seen as an alternative to seat belts.

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The safest place for children 12 and under is in the rear seat. If a child must sit in the front seat because no other seat is available, the seat should be moved as far back from the air bag as practical, and the child should be restrained in the appropriate car seat.

Installing A Car Seat Your child should always be securely strapped in, and preferably in a car seat, every time you travel by car. Child car seats are divided into groups, based on the weight of the child. It is important to read the manual and ensure that you understand the steps. Car seats should not be placed in the passenger seat and being in the back seat protects your child more if an accident occurs. The most common position is behind the passenger seat so that you can easily monitor your little one. Some seats are convertible and can be used in rear-facing or forward-facing mode. l Rear-facing position – Ensure that you use the harness slots at or just below the shoulders. l Front-facing position – use the harness slots at or above your child’s shoulders. l If your seat does have a chest clip please ensure that this is placed at armpit level. l Tighten the harness straps snugly. Do the pinch test by trying to pinch the harness

straps at the child’s shoulders. If you can pinch them easily then the straps are too loose and should be tightened.

Rules And Regulations In South Africa, all children transported in a motor vehicle have to be buckled up with appropriate child restraints.

Children under the age of six are unable to secure their own safety; it is up to adults to do this. Parents that don’t strap their children under the age of three in a car seat will be fined. Infants should ride rear facing, at least until they are a year old. Once they exceed the weight or height limit set by the manufacturer of the infant safety seat, they should ride rear facing in a convertible safety seat.

When they have outgrown this seat, they should use a forward-facing safety seat with a full harness. Children who have outgrown a convertible safety seat should use a booster seat until they are at least 1.3m tall. Children tall enough to wear an adult seatbelt should still ride in the back seat until they are 13 years old. Adjust the seat belt so the lap belt crosses the child’s upper thighs and the diagonal belt crosses the upper chest at a point between the neck and shoulder.

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M THIS ONT

3

’S

Practical Cars That Are Fun To Drive

TOP

’S

M&P|motoring

H

M THIS ONT H

FORD B-MAX ECOBOOST Your city runabout comes complete with perky performance and fine dynamics. It ticks all the boxes and is cheap to run, good for long journeys, pram-friendly, great for families, easy to park, offers a raised driving position and easily accessible. There are airbags for the driver and front passenger, and window airbags that run the length of the car. Electronic systems that help prevent skidding under braking and in corners are also standard throughout the range. Practical and affordable, it is definitely worth a test drive.

WORDS: KATHERINE SWIFT. IMAGES: QUICKPIC, CITROENPICASSO.COM, SHARE.MURPHYVARLEY.COM, SMARTCHRISTIANWOMAN.WORDPRESS.COM.

CITROEN C3 PICASSO Not a big car on the outside, it has loads of room inside and maintains the Citroen’s reputation for soft suspension. All models come standard with airbags and ABS brakes, as well as the now ubiquitous LED daytime running lights. If you want to stand out in the crowd and look stylish then the Citroen C3 Picasso is hard to beat. A practical car with good value and good looks to boot.

HYUNDAI IX20 Built well, the exterior styling is brought inside, such as the front grille design that is replicated on the speaker covers and the seats. Active head restraints for front passengers help prevent whiplash injury, and optional extras include a hill-hold assist system to prevent the car from rolling back. The stylish, spacious vehicle is excellent value for money, with good storage space at a low starting price.

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B A B

GUESTS PARTICIPATING IN A GAME

Y

GIFT MASHELE, WINNER OF THE JOHNSON’S BABY HAMPER

GUESTS LISTENING ATTENTIVELY

A BABY SHOWER FOR LITTLE GEMS LEFT TO RIGHT: NINA HASTIE, MASINKITA MATJOMANE (WINNER OF A YEAR’S SUBSCRIPTION TO MAMAS & PAPAS) AND SENIOR SCHEME REPRESENTATIVE, ZANDILE SEBONA

KESHA JUGNUNDAN. AND GERTY POTGIETER

FITNESS PROGRAMME REPRESENTATIVE, BRIDGETTE KGWELE

EXHIBITORS

WARMING-UP SESSION

UNARINE MOKOENA

DELIA HOOKE TALKS ABOUT BABY BATH AND MASSAGE

LEFT TO RIGHT: MAKOBA LETSIE (WINNER OF THE CHELINO TRAVEL SYSTEM), BRIDGETTE KGWELE AND NINA HASTIE MOM-TO-BE, MABATHO SEKWALA

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S H O W E JOHANNA MHINGA, WINNER OF A PURITY HAMPER

WORDS: MBALENHLE FAKUDE. PHOTOGRAPHER: THE MOUSIST.

EMS (Government Employee Medical Scheme) realised the need to celebrate pregnancy with their members and use the opportunity to educate the new mothers in a fun environment where communication and conversation could be encouraged amongst women to support each other during this time. As such, GEMS hosted their first baby shower at Indaba Hotel in Fourways, Johannesburg, on the 28th November 2015. Fifty Gauteng GEMS moms in their third trimester received an exclusive invitation to attend a half-day of pampering, where they participated in fun, themed games as well as a few exercises activities for pregnancy and post-pregnancy. The event was facilitated by Nina Hastie, with Dr Diana du Plessis sharing her expertise on breastfeeding and Delia Hooke (founder of Bub Hub) delivering practical advice on baby bathing and massage. Mothers received fabulous gifts from sponsors, and there were also exhibitions from well-known baby products like Philips AVENT, Bub Hub and Pure Romans.

BREASTFEEDING EXPERT, DR DIANA DU PLESSIS

PROGRAMME DIRECTOR, NINA HASTIE

R

SENIOR SCHEME REPRESENTATIVE, ZANDILE SEBONA

DÉCOR TO DIE FOR!

CHARLOTTE NGOBENI, WINNER OF THE PHILIPS AVENT HAMPER

PREGGY MAMAS DOING SQUATS

GUESTS SHAKING WHAT THEIR MAMAS GAVE THEM ON THE DANCE FLOOR

GUESTS IN CONVERSATION

GEMS would like to thank the following sponsors for their support: Cadbury, Chelino, Clicks, Johnson’s Baby, Philips AVENT, Pure Romans and Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s.

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ESSAYS A WOMAN’S JOURNEY

OF AFRICA

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2015/12/11 6:39 PM

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