Mamas & Papas March 2016

Parenting... Your Way!

M A M A S

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VOLUME 8 NO 75 MARCH 2016

& P A P A S

PREGNANCY CRAVING SNACK ATTACK

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Steps to be IVF ready Facts about your 7-year-old

What does your body want?

Parent i ng ... You r Way!

FUNDAMENTALS OF TODDLER FOOT DEVELOPMENT

40 FULL WEEKS the ‘new’ fullterm pregnancy

www.mamasnpapasmag. com MA R CH 2016 • V o l 8 • N o 7 5

ARE YOU A MILLENNIAL PARENT?

A Million Ways TO BE A MOTHER

VACCINATE TO ENHANCE YOUR BABY’S IMMUNITY

PRE-PREGNANCY | PREGNANCY | LABOUR & BIRTH | BABIES | TODDLERS | PRESCHOOLERS | SPECIAL NEEDS | WORKING MOMS & DADS March 2016 Cover.indd 78

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Mamas & Papas | March 2016 Cover

Models: Gugu Tsela and Luzaan Grobler Directed By: Tumi Mdluli Assistant: Tebatjo Manamela Photographer: Gareth Jacobs 082 424 1188 www.garethjacobs.com Hair & Make-Up: Lucoh Mhlongo lucohm@gmail.com Dressed By: D’oré Sandton

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64 Your features

On the cover

10 The Mommy Wellness Imperative

14 Pregnancy Craving Snack Attack: What Does Your Body Want?

26 The Lowdown On Pelvic Prolapse 36 Perinatal Stroke 52 Preschool Party Fever 56 Understanding Your Seven-Year-Old

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20 40 Full Weeks, The New Full Term 32 Vaccinate To Enhance Your Baby’s Immunity

60 Choosing Your Child’s Caregiver

44 Fundamentals Of Toddler Foot Development

82 Beyond The Syndrome

64 A Million Ways To Be A Mother 70 Are You A Millenial Parent?

44 M a m a s & Pa p a s

Contents_March 2016.indd 1

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Mamas & Papas | March 2016 Section guidelines 10 Pre-Pregnancy 14 Pregnancy 26 Labour & Birth 30 Babies 0-1 year 44 Toddlers 2-4 years 52 Preschoolers 5-6 years 60 Working Moms & Dads

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82 Special Needs

17 Preggy Diaries 24 Preggy Fashion 29 Gogo’s Advice 30 What’s In A Name?

40 Philips AVENT Hall Of Fame 47 News & Tips

74 Your Gynaecologists Dr Herman Netshidzivhani & Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner 77 DeConstruct To Construct Fumani Shilubana | FatherFigureZA 80 Cancer Column Zoleka Mandela 90 Motoring Melissa Jane Cook

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48 Kids’ Summer Fashion 55 Kids’ Voices

In every issue

78 Parents With Pizzazz

06 From the Editor’s Pen

81 Baby Shower

08 Contributors

85 Your Exercise 86 Your Recipes

09 Your Letters 96 Stockists List

92 Your Travel 94 Reviews 95 Nappy Braai

Your columnists 13 Fertility Dr Antonio Rodrigues 42 Your Paediatrician Dr Ashraf Ahmed 76 Family Law Veerash Srikison

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Contents_March 2016.indd 2

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COVER: PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. HAIR & MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLOGO. DRESSED BY: STUTTAFORDS. ACCESSORIES: MODEL’S OWN., ©ISTOCK.COM, INDIZA.

Your regulars

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Parenting... Your Way!

CEO of Kwenta Media & Founding Editor of Mamas & Papas

Nawaal Nolwazi Mdluli

Fashion & Beauty Editor Fashion Assistant

Tracy Maher Nicky De Bene Loren Stow Cathrine Versfeld, Thina Mthembu, Hlulani Masingi, Melissa Jane Cook Tumi Mdluli Tebatjo Manamela

Designer Junior Designers Digital & Web Specialist

Lelethu Tobi Siphokazi Masele Lekeke Mahlo

Managing Editor Copy Editor Features Editor Features Writers

Sales & Business Development Team Business Development & Production Manager Sales and Business Development Manager Marketing/PR & Events Operations & Finance Manager Administrator Office Drivers Advisory Board

Columnists

Contributors Publisher Physical Address

Postal Address Websites Subscription Queries Advertising Editorial Information & Enquiries Printers Distribution

Nuraan Motlekar Monice Kruger Mbalenhle Fakude

Kelly Moyo Tebatjo Manamela Yusuf Msinyi, Gabriel Mashishi Grace Masuku, Mohammed Bhabha, Lethepu Matshaba, Dr Herman Netshidzivhani, Dr Ashraf Ahmed, Dr Bongani Khumalo, Dr Alessia Gioliano, Major-General Jackie Modise, Maria Sterrenberg, Dr Sumayya Ebrahim, Veerash Srikison, Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner, Dr Antonio Rodrigues Dr Ashraf Ahmed, Dr Antonio Rodrigues, Veerash Srikison Dr Herman Netshidzivhani, Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner, Zoleka Mandela, Fumani N. Shilubana Peta Daniel, Claire Maher, Nicky Manson, Mary Moore Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. Fourways View Office Park, Block C, First Floor, Cnr Sunset Ave and Sunrise Blvd, Fourways Tel: 011 467 5859, Fax: 011 467 2808 or 086 672 6468 Mamas & Papas: P.O. Box 4437, Dainfern, 2055 www.mamasnpapasmag.com / www.kwentamedia.com subs@mamasnpapasmag.com advertising@mamasnpapasmag.com editorial@mamasnpapasmag.com info@mamasnpapasmag.com / info@kwentamedia.com

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Mamas & Papas Magazine, TV show, Website and Webzine are 100% owned and published by Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. The editor and publisher reserve the right to alter copy and visual material as deemed necessary.

Copyright by Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. All rights reserved.

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M&P|from the editor’s pen

DAUGHTERS OF THE FUTURE

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Where does this come from? There is more to your parenting responsibilities than your child’s economic emancipation, so the next time you enter a fast-food drive-through or take your shopping from the bag lady in the supermarket after standing in a long queue, remember the power of your words. Your child, your daughter, is watching everything you say and do and she will one day blossom into the being that you have nurtured.

More importantly, when the women in the family gather together, celebrate everyone – the grandmother whose husband is long gone; the single auntie with children and no husband; the auntie who cannot bear any children of her own. Show your daughter that every woman in the family has a voice and demands respect from the men around them and society at large. Teach your sons and your daughters to respect not just humanity, but all living things. Happiness doesn’t come in a lucky packet. It is not the absence of conflict, but an internal state of being that can only be achieved by a greater understanding of their place in the world – show your children your happiness!

We care…

IMAGE: ©KWENTA MEDIA, SHUTTERSTOCK.

e are preparing our daughters for failure.

There’s no other way of saying it. All spheres of society prepare the girl-child to marry from as early as possible with fairy tales of a prince charming whisking her away on her wedding day. The reality, however, is far from the whimsical image we paint for our children.

Today he might be here, but tomorrow he can be snatched away from her while she is left to pick up the pieces.

It is time we stop the subliminal messaging to our daughters about what makes a wife. The books and toys we buy them, the chores we assign them at home, and the way we let their male family members treat them all engrave in their psyche an understanding of their future role in society – one of subservience to and dependence on men. How many parents teach that the end goal of happiness is marriage with children, rather than a life of personal growth and self-fulfillment?

While marriage is indeed a blessed union between a loving couple and can be a life-changing experience, we have to equip our children for the reality that their life may not have that particular ending – and that is okay! Let’s equip them with the education, knowledge and the skills to fend

for themselves emotionally and financially, so that they are never reliant on a man for their self-worth and existence.

When asked what our daughters bring to the table, they should be able to declare that they are the table! They will have been imbued with a culture of independence and self-respect, as well as completeness of being so that they never have to seek meaning outside of themselves. Let us throw away terms like ‘broken homes’, which insinuate that children whose parents are no longer together are damaged or imperfect souls.

Instead, we need to teach our children that they are perfectly loved and not lacking in any way so as to be thought of as a ‘broken’ child. Their contribution to society will be as solid as the emotional and personal investment you make in your child today… this moment.

As society as a whole marches forward with the times, our culture remains stuck in the past. Single women are not always afforded the same respect or consideration as their married counterparts, even though they may be better off and happier. Their social standing in the community is questioned, their reputations frowned upon and their opinions discarded as insignificant. Our daughters observe this perpetual injustice and unless we establish in them a true sense of their place in this world, the paradigm will not shift.

Consider the conversations you had with your parents and elders decades ago.

The content of the discourse was not as important as the manner in which it was conducted. Respect was the foundation of any interaction with another person, yet today we are bombarded with news media that smacks of disrespect, anger and hatred.

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M&P|contributors FERTILITY COLUMN

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Dr Antonio Rodrigues MBBCH(Wits) FCOG(SA) MBA(Henley)

CANCER COLUMN

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l Infertility specialist, founder developer and director of Medfem

Zoleka Mandela

Fertility Clinic, along with fellow directors Dr Johan van Schouwenburg and Dr Johan van Rensburg. l Co-author of the book Faster, Better, Sicker and codeveloper of StaminoGro (Georen Pharmaceuticals).

The doctor’s special medical interests lie in lifestyle management to improve fertility. Dr Rodrigues is married to clinical psychologist Mandy Rodrigues and together they have six children, ranging from 28 to 6 years in age.

Although the unexpected and tragic loss of two of her children surpassed her battle with addiction, her early breast cancer diagnosis catapulted Zoleka from a journey of pain and struggle to one of hope, faith and inspiration.

Zoleka is an author, a motivational speaker and founder of the Zoleka Mandela Foundation.

Visit www.zolekamandelafoundation.org www.zolekamandelafoundation.org.

Contact Dr Rodrigues on 011 463 2244

FAMILY LAW

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DECONSTRUCT TO CONSTRUCT (FATHERHOOD)

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Fumani N. Shilubana Father, actor, producer, social entrepreneur, founder of Father Figure ZA and DeCon2Con Talks If the passion and talent that God gave me won’t make a better difference in people’s lives, then I don’t want to do anything.

@zolekamandela

@FumaniShilubana @FatherFiguresSA

zolekamandelafoundation

FumaniNShilubana FatherFiguresSA

DR HERMAN (GYNAECOLOGISTS)

FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST

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Dr Sumayya Ebrahim Dr Herman Netshidzivhani & Dr Birgit Katharine Bothner

Advocate Veerash Srikison Advocate Veerash Srikison is an internationally accredited mediator at Fair Practice in Johannesburg. For more information on mediation and how you can benefit from it, visit www. fairpractice.co.za.

Contact the doctors on 011 643 8492 or 011 480 4143

Contact Veerash on 011 046 2644.

DR DAD (PAEDIATRICIAN)

Obstetricians and gynaecologists These two doctors are partners in work and in life.

They run a fertility clinic together at Park Lane Clinic in Johannesburg and have two children.

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MOTORING

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Melissa Jane Cook

Dr Ashraf Ahmed Dr Ahmed is a Johannesburg-based paediatrician and father of 5 children, Iman (16), Mehreen (9), and 8-yearold triplets Jazib, Taheem and Alman – conceived naturally!

His wife Aneesa is also a doctor.

Contact Dr Dad on 011 875 1845 or 011 875 1840

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Bewitched by the magic of France, Melissa Jane Cook is an intrepid explorer. A lover of traversing the globe, she eagerly absorbs different cultures and laps up the magnificent oceanic experiences. Wooed by words and writers alike, her penchant for facials, chocolate, owls and bugs, is surpassed only by her fascination with the stage aglow in lights or bookshelves that heave with stories, where characters invite her along on their marvellous journeys. @jwanderlustmjc

Dr Ebrahim is a registered psychologist in Johannesburg. She holds an Honours degree in Applied Psychology, a cum laude Masters degree in Psychology and a PhD. Her academic interests are Wellbeing, Emotional Intelligence, Positive Psychology, Critical Psychology and Infertility. Dr Ebrahim is both an academic and a practitioner and is the author of Investment in Self: A comprehensive well being construct.

Contact Dr Ebrahim on 078 864 2007 or email doctor@psychologiste.com.

Visit Psychologistse.com.

ED. PSYCHOLOGIST

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Claire Maher Claire works fulltime at a school in Johannesburg and maintains a private practice. Claire is interested in attachment, barriers to learning and fair assessment practices in South Africa. In her free time, Claire enjoys drinking tea, cycling, photography, cooking and spending time with her family and friends.

Contact Claire on 071 150 1863 or clairemaher. psych@gmail.com.

@Educ_Psych

M&P|letters

WILL THE REAL MEN PLEASE STAND UP? I am a first-time mom and these last five months have been a roller coaster ride for me. When I first found out I was pregnant, I bought Mamas & Papas magazines like crazy just to learn all that I could from women going through what I was. What saddens me the most is how many men seem to run away from their responsibilities when their partner falls pregnant.

I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and I am always tired and crampy.

To make it worse, the father of my baby has left and is messing around with other women. I pray daily that I give birth to a baby boy so I can teach him about being a man and taking responsibility. I am angered at the thought of these men who walk away and then come crawling back to us, begging for our forgiveness. Women have to not only think of themselves, but also of what’s best for their children.

Pregnancy can be a lonely road and it is even more painful when you try to reach out to the father of your child and he pushes you away. I applaud those men who know what it means to be a real man and take responsibility for their children. Although I am sad, I know that my family supports me and that my child will be loved.

I thank M&P magazine for being there for me, as well as all the single mothers out there. I know it gets better in time and I cannot wait to meet my baby, my prince charming, in April.

Real men, stand up please because when a woman is pregnant she needs you more than ever!

BHG

Find us on:

We want to hear from you Share your thoughts, opinions, suggestions and touching family stories. Log on to our website www.mamasnpapasmag.com or drop us a mail at letters@mamasnpapasmag.com.

We reserve the right to edit all letters for the purposes of publishing.

MIXED BLESSINGS Your magazine gives me the opportunity to express how I felt when the doctor told me I was pregnant. I believe that a woman should not be pregnant after 35 because of the risks involved and as I am 39, my husband and I used condoms for birth control to prevent us from having any more children. I was very unhappy to hear that I was pregnant, but my doctor told me that God chose me to carry this baby. Now I am six months pregnant and the doctor has confirmed that I am carrying a baby girl. It took a while, but I have accepted my pregnancy. I have learnt that our lives lie in God’s hands and I hope to deliver a healthy baby. The sad part of this story is that while we await the birth of our daughter, my husband’s liver has started to fail and he is on the transplant list. We have had to remain resolute in our faith that God has a plan in this. With God, everything is possible.

We have to put our trust unto Him no matter what the situation.

Philisiwe Mvubu Mthath

M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|pregnancy

renatal massage is therapeutic bodywork that focuses on the special needs of the mother-to-be as her body goes through the dramatic changes of pregnancy, physically, physiologically and spiritually. It enhances the function of muscles and joints, improves circulation and general body tone, and relieves mental and physical fatigue. The gentle, non-invasive approach of prenatal massage can ease discomfort associated with pregnancy, help the mother-to-be prepare for labour and give her nurturing emotional support. Massage is a wonderful way to help alleviate discomfort, as well as promote a sense of well-being.

Sharon Sanders (35) is a mother of two and she says, “Both Timothy and Rachel and I benefited from the massages. I was prepared for an easier delivery because the massage had a sedating effect on my central nervous system.” She adds, “I was really relaxed and had hardly any stress. As I am a naturally anxious person, this was a great help to me as the due date loomed!”

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THE MOMMY

WELLNESS IMPERATIVE

Many of us would give up our firstborn for a good massage… but do we know what the effects of regular prenatal massage on our unborn child is, or even on our baby beyond the womb? Melissa Jane Cook gets hands-on with this sensitive issue.

M&P|pregnancy WHAT IS PRENATAL MASSAGE? Prenatal massage shares many of the goals of regular massage – to relax tense muscles, ease sore spots, improve circulation and mobility, and just make you feel good – but it is also tailored specifically to the needs of pregnant women and their changing bodies. Therapists who are trained in prenatal massage adjust their techniques accordingly. According to Izelle Louw at Mommywellness, “Touch is the sense which is the most developed and is the primary form of communication between parent and a newborn baby. Parents may instinctively touch their newborn to get to know him/her better, and this forms a very important part of bonding.”

WHO IS QUALIFIED? It is best to seek out a therapist who is certified in pregnancy massage. It is important that they know and understand what is and is not safe for the mother and her baby, as well as having knowledge of pregnancy and the anatomy of a pregnant woman. Proper positioning of the mother changes as her pregnancy progresses; for example, after a woman is 22 weeks pregnant, it is no longer safe for her to lie on her back. There are deep blood vessels that can be restricted due to the weight of the baby, causing decreased circulation for both the mother and her unborn child.

The whole body is massaged, from the head to drain sinus or a blocked nose to the back to promote relaxation, but there are certain areas on the mother that are best avoided during massage. One such area is the space between her heel and the ankle bone – an area that represents the uterus and vagina. Many reflexologists, who practise acupressure, and massage therapists believe that a lot of pressure to this area might bring on early labour. Louw states, “You need to go for an extra course in baby massage and the best one in South Africa is through the International Association of Infant Massage.”

“Mommy Wellness started with my pregnancy and no one wanting to touch me. I was not sick; I was just pregnant. There is nothing like a good massage to rub away the strains and pains of being pregnant.”

THE CORRECT POSITION

A SAFE PERIOD

Most women find it uncomfortable to lie facedown right from the start of pregnancy because of their tender, swollen breasts.

And you can't lie facedown on a traditional massage table once your belly has started to grow. On the other hand, it's not a good idea to lie flat on your back either, particularly once you're past mid-pregnancy, because the weight of your uterus puts too much pressure on the vein that returns blood from your legs to your heart.

For these reasons, some prenatal massage therapists use a special table or pad with hollowed-out areas and special pillows to accommodate your belly, and often your breasts as well, so you can lie face down. If you find this position stresses your lower back, or if only a traditional massage table is available, you can lie on your side with pillows, wedges, or a fulllength body pillow for support.

Women can begin massage therapy at any point in their pregnancy – during the first, second, or third trimester. Many facilities will refuse to offer massage to a woman who is still in her first trimester because of the increased risk of miscarriage associated with the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. In most cases it is safe to receive massage up to your due date and beyond.

Some women also choose to incorporate elements of massage during childbirth to cope with delivery. Massage therapy can also be a therapeutic treatment after pregnancy as your body returns to its normal state and you begin your exciting life with the baby.

AN OILY RUB According to Louw, there are certain aromatherapy oils that are safe to use during pregnancy but you need to check with your M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|pregnancy therapist beforehand. “The safest oils are grape seed or avocado oil. A gentle moisturiser containing vitamin E is a great option, as it may also help to soothe itchy skin.” Ask for an unscented lotion or oil, as not only might the strong fragrance turn you off, but some aromatherapy oils can also stimulate uterine contractions. Always check with your midwife before using any aromatherapy oils, as they're not all safe to use while you’re pregnant. Even completely natural substances can be unsafe for use in pregnancy.

THE FOETAL EXPERIENCE “In the uterus the foetus is massaged, as it were, by the movement of amniotic fluid and later, as it grows, by the wall of the uterus,” says Louw. Massage helps both the mother and father bond with the unborn child and also helps the parents feel more connected to each other during this special time. At about 20 weeks, halfway through the pregnancy, the mother will usually start to feel some movement, referred to as ‘quickening’. It is a subtle feeling, just a kind of flutter.

But, at 26 weeks, the baby will become very active, pushing his or her hands against the mother’s belly, stretching and flexing muscles, while still having some room to move around in.

Parents can start to actually touch and play with the baby through abdominal massage. The baby will recognise individual voices and can distinguish between light and dark outside the womb.

Louw explains that the touch of prenatal massage can extend beyond the womb with baby massage, and the baby will already be, in a sense, used to the touch. Research conducted with both adults and children show that massage therapy reduces stress hormones, increases endorphin and serotonin levels, relaxes muscles and promotes a state of well-being. When the expectant mother receives the benefits of relaxation and a balancing of emotions, these are passed onto her unborn child as cortisol and endorphin levels are brought into balance.

Between five and six months in utero, the baby’s hearing functions are complete. The amniotic fluid amplifies sound, so the baby will easily hear any music played nearby. Research has shown that the baby will react to the music with movement of his or her arms and legs, in a kind of in utero dance. Other studies have shown that baby’s respond favourably to music that mimics the heart rate of the mother (about 60 beats per minute), which is usually classics, like Mozart and Vivaldi – something to keep in mind during the massage session.

A happier and more comfortable pregnancy; a shorter land less painful labour, and healthier babies… what more could you ask for? Overall, prenatal massage when done properly by the qualified experts can only be considered a pregnancy must!

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For more information about Mommy Wellness Day Spa, contact Izelle Louw on 021 976 3174 or visit www.mommywellness.co.za.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

BENEFITS BEYOND THE WOMB

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M&P|fertility

STEPS TO BE IVF READY

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INVESTIGATE CAUSES Make sure that you have been fully investigated for all the causes of your infertility. On the female side, all your hormones need to have been checked, blood screening tests for causes of miscarriages, undergoing a pelvic ultrasound to check the ovaries and uterus and a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to check the anatomy of the pelvis and to treat endometriosis or fibroids if they are diagnosed. The male needs to have a semen analysis and hormonal tests if indicated. Any problems found need to be aggressively managed.

The decision to seek assistance to achieve a pregnancy is life-changing in more than one way. Couples or individuals need to consider costs, success rates and the rigours the process will place on their bodies.

4 2 5 6 3 7 DIET

The diets of both the male and female play a critical role in the quality of both the sperm and the eggs. A balanced eating plan must be adopted, with a special reference to reducing all refined carbohydrates – especially if you have high fasting insulin levels. Reducing alcohol consumption to a minimum and stopping cigarette smoking will increase your pregnancy rate.

IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

SUPPLEMENT

Taking supplements to both enhance sperm and egg quality, as well prepare the female environment for pregnancy. For example, Staminogro (four at night) for both men and women is a good choice. If there are severe male factor problems, extra L-arginine can be added (e.g. spermaid two per day).

REDUCE STRESS

Reducing stress levels is not easy, but increasing research is showing that stress increases inferility. Our research shows that stress plays a major role in creating a reduced immune system with resultant endometriosis. Reducing stress by carrying out our online stress management programme (www.tups.co) will increase the pregnancy rates in your IVF cycle.

UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS

This includes the specific treatment plan that has been mapped out for you as a couple.

These decisions include the type and dosage of ovarian hormone stimulation, the method of fertilising the egg (IVF, VS, ICSI) and the number of embryos replaced. This choice should be one or two embryos. It is important to understand the risks of multiple pregnancy complications. The goal of IVF is not to achieve a positive pregancy test, but to have a live healthy baby.

Its also important to have the knowledge of additional procedures that may benefit your specific fertility needs, such as

assisted hatching, pre-genetic testing of the chromosomal normality of your embryos, the use of immunolgical manipulators to enhance attachment, the survival of embryos, and embryo glue to enhance implantation.

The use of these procedures is specific to individual couples.

COST IMPLICATIONS

Understanding the costs of the procedure from start to finish gives each couple the opportunity to do their financial planning.

It’s important for couples to discuss the finances with their support group if they need help. You can also make use of a specialised financing company to organise a short term finance plan, such as www.fhf.co.za.

SUCCESS RATE

The success rate of IVF treatment varies from couple to couple. IVF failures occur and each couple needs to review the pregnancy rates specific to them with their fertility specialist. Failure of a treatment cycle needs its own management.

M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|pregnancy

PREGGY SNACK ATTACK

From peanut butter on pickles to handfuls of river sand, pregnancy cravings are known to strike at the oddest times, demanding the strangest items! Catherine Versfeld takes a bite out of this meaty topic to reveal the truth behind preggy snack attacks.

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esearch into the subject of food cravings whilst pregnant is ongoing and although there are many theories that try to get to the real reasons, to date there is no official medical explanation for the strange cravings so many pregnant women seem to experience. However, experts have some ideas as to why it might be.

WHAT ARE PREGNANCY CRAVINGS? According to Dr Brian Wansink, author of Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think (Random House Publishing,

M&P|pregnancy 2010), at least 50 percent of pregnant women will crave something strange, or different from their usual diets at some point during their pregnancies. It may be an uncommon blend of foods, for example, apples with salt or something the woman never really had a taste for before. Although it does not occur more commonly during any particular trimester, once it surfaces, it tends to be the same food craved throughout the pregnancy and will usually strike at more or less the same time every day.

Then there’s pica. This refers to people craving things that aren’t food at all, for example sand, ash, clay, stone or chalk. Pica is the Latin word for magpie, so named because of the strange, often indigestible things these particular birds tend to eat. The most prevalent cases of pica occur among children and pregnant women.

WHY DO THESE CRAVINGS HAPPEN? It is generally accepted that the strange cravings in pregnancy are related to a mineral or vitamin deficiency in the body. In other words, your body knows it needs more of a particular vitamin or mineral, and triggers an insatiable urge for it. Very often, the strange combination of foods will have similar core nutrients in overwhelming quantities, which is what has led to the theory as it stands. Although researchers believe that the phenomenon may be far more complex than just that, they have yet to confirm any hard evidence, or additional theories.

Unfortunately, research on pica is hindered because people are embarrassed to admit these cravings, and even more embarrassed if they follow through with them. The small amount of research available has suggested that pica can also be related to mineral deficiencies. This theory is a widely accepted explanation for non-

“… at least 50 percent of pregnant women will crave something strange, or different from their usual diets at some point during their pregnancies.” clinical pica, as children and pregnant women need more iron and calcium due to the enormous amount of physical growth required over a short time.

WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT CRAVINGS? According to Wansink, there is nothing wrong with eating strange combinations of food. The chances are very high that cravings will cease after birth, or in some cases, after you have weaned your baby. However, it is important to stick to healthy quantities and varieties of good food, too much salt or sugar and non-nutritious food is dangerous.

Similarly, seafood (especially sushi and crayfish), white cheeses and runny egg yolks should be avoided in pregnancy because of the risk of salmonella.

In the case of pica, unless you’re

simply chewing crushed ice, it is not advised to follow these cravings at all, even if they seem innocent enough. Plain garden sand, for example, can contain many unsafe microbes. Cat faeces, in particular, are extremely dangerous to pregnant women. When women report pica to their doctors, they are usually prescribed an iron supplement and, in many cases the craving minimises.

Studies have also shown that a bowl of popcorn can help to sufficiently distract you until the craving goes away.

Although many people don’t understand how very real and desperate a pregnancy craving can get, they will also never experience the genuine sense of relief when the craving is fed. Of all the unexpected side-effects of pregnancy, cravings are a charming and interesting part of the process. If you never

M a m a s & Pa p a s

15

M&P|pregnancy experience cravings at all, don’t feel bad – you probably have all the minerals you need. If you do experience them, make sure you have a good pregnancy multivitamin supplement and have some fun. Photograph your unearthly culinary creations for posterity. After all, life is too short not to try that chocolate and chicken salad!

INTERESTING CUSTOMS In Kenya, for many thousands of years, pregnant and breastfeeding women have been known to eat a particular stone called Odowa, which they buy from stalls in the marketplaces. According to AllAfrica.com, the salesmen buy them at local quarries and then smooth them down into small, edible sizes for their customers. Kenyan women insist that the Odowa have a sweet taste and give them energy.

The particular practice of eating stones, sand or clay is known as geophagy, and is not uncommon in African tradition. The Khoi people, for example, would eat white riverbank clay as part of their pre-birthing ceremony. It was believed that ingesting this clay would assure a strong, healthy baby, and successful childbirth.

“If you do experience them [cravings], make sure you have a good pregnancy multivitamin supplement and have some fun. Photograph your unearthly culinary creations for posterity.”

COMMONLY REPORTED PICA CRAVINGS IN PREGNANCY: Matchstick heads Stones Ice Toothpaste Soap Builder’s plaster Coffee grounds Sand Baking soda

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According to nutritionists, there are some common cravings that can point to specific possible deficiencies in the body: Chocolate – Although one hardly needs an excuse to crave chocolate, it may indicate a lack of magnesium in the body.

Salty foods – Very often, when the body craves salt, it is due to a lack of sodium.

Another reason may be dehydration, as the body uses sodium to retain water.

Meat or biltong – A craving for meat can indicate an iron deficiency. If your doctor suspects this, he may have your blood tested and prescribe an iron supplement. Note: Some iron supplements can cause constipation. Be sure to ask your doctor/pharmacist when receiving your prescription.

Cheese, yoghurt or ice-cream – Most milk-based cravings can be connected with a lack of calcium. Calcium is a major player in developing a baby’s bones; for this reason, pregnant women use a lot of it.

IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK.

POSSIBLE DEFICIENCIES TO LOOK OUT FOR

M&P|preggy diaries

NONTOBEKO NDLOVU

WORDS AND IMAGE: NONTOBEKO NDLOVU

1st Trimester

ontobeko is married to the love of her life, Xolani Machi, and the couple is blessed with three children, Wandile (15), Lungile (12) and Lakhanya (18 months).

The Christian family lives in a familyoriented estate in Durban and attends Life Abundance International Church in Ballito.

Nontobeko is eager to share the story of her latest pregnancy…

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I felt sick and, of course, I diagnosed myself and began taking flu medication.

While on my way to my mother’s place in Parlock, I decided to visit our family doctor to get something stronger for the ‘flu’ as it wasn’t letting up. As the doctor and I were talking about how hectic things were with my youngest child, Lakhanya, and how quickly she was growing, my doctor suggested – to my surprise – that she run a pregnancy

test. I was a bit hesitant and insisted that I wasn’t pregnant, but she insisted, and lo and behold, the results revealed that I was six weeks’ pregnant.

I was shocked, nervous and a little scared because we had not planned for this. It took a little time for the news to sink in that we were expecting another bundle of joy and when I went home I didn’t tell my husband right away. After a week passed, I decided to take another test, thinking that even doctors could be wrong. After a further two weeks I took another test – the result was still positive.

It wasn’t long thereafter that I told my husband that we were pregnant.

Like me, he was also a little shocked, but unlike me he accepted the pregnancy without hesitation. The first trimester went by without hassle and I can truly say that I enjoyed it. As per our cultural beliefs, we didn’t share the news with anyone. Rather, we waited 12 weeks before dropping the bombshell on our loved ones.

I don’t know if other mothers would agree with me, but I think that the fact that I was still breastfeeding Lakhanya made me feel more healthy and active.

Could pregnancy and nursing at the same time have contributed to my sense of vigour? I think so, but if it isn’t the case, I am very grateful for the energy and good health I experienced. This trimester passed very quickly and I look forward to the second one.

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M&P|preggy diaries

HONEY MALEKANE

’m 27 years old and pregnant with our firstborn! My partner, Katlego Ngwato Mabowa, has wanted a baby since the beginning of 2015 but he was in for a long wait, as it seemed that a bouncing baby wasn’t in God’s plans for us at that time.

However, giving up was not an option and we knew that our prayers would be answered. Katlego even chose a name for our firstborn – Bohlale – and we just kept on calling each other Bohlale’s Dad and Bohlale’s mom.

Thinking back on those times, I have to admit that it was difficult. Katlego wanted a baby so badly that I felt as if I was failing him when I didn’t conceive.

He wouldn’t say it out loud, but I could see that this was really bothering him.

I remember the day we sat in the car together and I told him that I was pregnant. I don’t know how it came about and when I saw how happy he was I didn’t want to disappoint him when he asked me if I was sure – so I told him I was when I really wasn’t.

I took the first home pregnancy test on 20 August 2015, and I took two more before I actually believed what I saw.

When Katlego saw the test results he was so thrilled that he planned an amazing weekend away for us. Six days after I had taken the test we went for our first sonar

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and discovered that I was already nine weeks pregnant. We were so excited to get home and share the good news with my mom, who started ‘taking care’ of me the moment she heard.

During my 12th week of pregnancy, I felt like death warmed over. I was tired and I suffered from cramps, headaches and severe nausea. My breasts were so tender

that I cringed at just the slightest touch and I also felt a bit depressed – in fact, I was a mess but I thank God for every week we have made it through and that this ‘messy’ part of pregnancy didn’t last. It would have been great to be one of those women who seem to sail through their pregnancy, but I know that this is my blessing and I am grateful for every moment.

WORDS AND IMAGE: HONEY MALEKANE.

1st Trimester

M&P|preggy diaries

WORDS AND IMAGE: ASHLYNE RAMLUKAN.

ASHLYNE RAMLUKAN welcomed my second trimester with much relief and pride. My previous miscarriages meant that this was a great achievement for me and, although I knew I still had a long way to go, I felt more confident having passed the crucial period. The second trimester, or ‘honeymoon’ phase of pregnancy, had me looking forward to lots of wonderful happenings. I was fortunate enough not to experience any morning sickness during my first trimester, but I still looked forward to my hormones settling and having more energy. I was also confident I would be able to feel my baby move soon and couldn’t wait to find out if we were expecting a son or a daughter.

Unfortunately, this ‘honeymoon’ phase was very short-lived! I went on to experience more discomfort and illnesses than I had in the previous trimester. Blood tests also revealed that my iron levels were low. As a result, I felt more fatigued and had to add more supplements to my prenatal vitamins.

I refused to complain, preferring to focus on the baby we desperately wanted. I was determined to make my baby’s well-being my priority, which meant that I would have to focus on my own health. I took time off and rested so that the medication could work and I would recover quickly. Fortunately, with my doctor’s support and prompt treatment, my baby was not affected and continued to grow and develop normally.

I was so thrilled to feel our baby’s first movements at about 16 weeks – it was something special that only I could experience for a while before I got to share it with my husband and son. We decided to have a family visit at my 16-week scan so that my son Ashwin could also hear the doctor reveal the gender of the baby. When he said it looked liked it was a little brother for

2nd Trimester

Ashwin, it was enough to put a big smile on his face – Ashwin’s prayer had been answered. Both hubby and I were just grateful to be having another baby and that he was growing well.

We shared the announcement with family and friends after our nest visit and soon the excitement kicked in when we began baby shopping and sharing name suggestions. Our baby has continued to

grow well and is weighing about a week ahead at every scan. At about 20 weeks, his movements were strong enough for my hubby and son to feel – a wonderful sensation, which is not only a reassuring sign to me that he is well, but it is also a special bond that I have with my baby.

Soon I will be entering the last trimester as we get closer to finally meeting him. There are exciting times ahead!

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M&P|pregnancy

THE NEW FULL-TERM PREGNANCY In late 2013 leading international maternal and foetal experts decided to redefine the meaning of a ‘full-term pregnancy’. Loren Stow explains the significance of this updated definition.

lective birth procedures such as labour induction and Caesarean sections have been on the steady rise over the past two decades – not just in South Africa, but across the globe. Of course, these can be life-saving procedures for both the mother and the baby in the case of an emergency, but in a risk- and complication-free pregnancy, it is best to carry to at least 39 weeks. While the new definition of ‘full term’ doesn’t alter the outcomes for babies who arrive precisely when they are ready to do so, it should be kept in mind when opting for an elective C-section or labour induction.

WHY ‘FULL TERM’ MATTERS In the past, a pregnancy that lasted between 37 to 42 weeks was called a ‘term pregnancy’ and healthcare professionals believed that it was safe for babies to be born during this five-week period. However, March of Dimes explains: “New research shows that every week of pregnancy counts for the health of your baby.” Simply put, your baby

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doesn’t only fatten up in the last weeks, but they are still developing in other very important areas.

Dr Catherine Spong is an associate director of extramural research at the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), one of the organisations that contributed to the research which updated the definition in question. She explains exactly why those last few weeks are so important: 1. Weeks 37 to 38 are characterised by the brain forming connections that are important for coordination, movement and learning.

2. Babies born at 37 and 38 weeks are more likely to spend time in neonatal intensive care (NICU), are at higher risk for blood infections, and can have issues controlling their temperature, breathing and feeding. These babies are also at higher risk of developing learning problems and difficulties with vision and hearing later on in life.

3. From experience and research it is clear that babies born at or after 39 weeks have the least complications.

M&P|pregnancy

The Royal Collage of Midwives in the United Kingdom agree that babies born at 37 and 38 weeks gestation appear to have increased mortality and neonatal morbidity compared to those born at a later stage.

THE NEW DEFINITION The new definition was proposed by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, the Society for Maternal-Foetal Medicine, and the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses and is supported by the NICHD, March of Dimes, the American Pregnancy Association, and many more.

These organisations are hoping that the new definition will become accepted across the globe.

Allowing a pregnancy to continue to its full term before considering interventions is not only beneficial for the baby, but it also has positive outcomes for the mother who is given the chance to go into spontaneous labour and therefore reducing the risk of cascading interventions that may ultimately lead to a Caesarean section. While the definition of a baby born between 37 to 42 weeks is still called a ‘term pregnancy’, it is now divided into categories: l Early Term – babies born at 37 and 38 weeks l Full Term – babies born at 39 and 40 weeks l Late Term – babies born at 41 weeks l Post Term – babies born at 42 weeks and later Modern medicine has given mothers the ultimate choice and ability to elect to have an induction or C-section and this new definition of ‘full term’ simply gives mothers and healthcare providers an even better chance of delivering a baby when they are truly ready to arrive. If your

doctor suggests an induction or caesarean before 39 weeks, you can also ask the following questions (recommended by March of Dimes website) to understand what your choices may be: 1. Is there a problem with my health or the health of my baby that may make me need to have my baby early?

2. Can I wait to have my baby until I’m closer to 39 weeks?

3. Why do you need to induce labour?

4. How will you induce labour?

5. Will inducing labour increase my chances of having a Caesarean section?

“Modern medicine has given mothers the ultimate choice and ability to elect to have an induction or C-section and this new definition of ‘full term’ simply gives mothers and healthcare providers an even better chance of delivering a baby when they are truly ready to arrive.”

THE BOTTOM LINE Ultimately research based on years of evidence is pointing to the fact that babies born before 39 weeks are at a higher risk of developing health and developmental challenges. The decades-long definition of ‘full term’ being anywhere between 37 to 42 weeks is now outdated and it is possible to give your baby every possible improved outcome in life if you opt to wait that extra week or two.

M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|pregnancy YOUR BABY’S WEEK-BY-WEEK DEVELOPMENT IN THE WOMB Week 17: The baby weighs around 150g and their eyes can move behind their closed eyelids.

Week 16: The muscles are developing and if touched together, baby can hold its hands.

Week 18: The nerves are developing a layer of myelin, which will continue to form up baby turns one year.

Week 19: Hair is starting to grow on their head, parts of the brain responsible for senses are starting to specialise and if it’s a girl, 6 million eggs have already formed in her ovaries.

Week 20: The skin is covered in a white greasy substance called vernix to protect it from the watery environment.

Week 21: The baby weighs around 350g and is covered in a layer of fine hair called lanugo.

Week 22: The digestive tract continues to mature by swallowing amniotic fluid.

Week 23: Looking more like a newborn, the baby is already between 28cm and 36cm long.

Week 15: The baby can now hear sounds and their eyes become sensitive to light.

Week 14: Now 85mm long, the baby has started to swallow amniotic fluid and urinate.

Week 13: Now called a baby, it weighs around 25g and its testes or ovaries are fully formed within the body.

Week 12: Just 12 weeks after your last period the foetus is fully formed with organs, muscles, limbs and bones in place. From now on it just grows and matures.

Week 11: The foetus is now growing rapidly, eyelids are closed, earbuds are looking more like ears.

Week 10: The heart is now fully formed and beats 180 times a minute, three times faster than yours.

Week 9: The foetus is now 22mm long and the face, hands and feet are slowly forming.

Week 8: Now called a foetus, it is developing legs.

Week 7: The embryo is 10mm long and its eyes and ears are developing.

Week 6: The embryo looks like a tadpole and is covered in see-through skin.

Week 4: The embryo grows and connects to the lining of the womb.

Weeks 1 to 3: The egg moves into the Fallopian tube and is fertilised. By the time it reaches the womb it’s gone from a single cell to a mass of more than 100 cells and is called an embryo.

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IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

Week 5: The embryo is around 2mm long and the foundations for all its major organs are in place.

M&P|pregnancy

Week 24: The taste buds are forming and the brain and lungs are developing rapidly.

Week 25: The baby is slowly putting on weight and may look a little less wrinkled.

Week 26: Now only 1kg, the ears and lungs continue to develop. If it’s a boy, the testes start their descent into the scrotum.

Week 27: The eyes may start to open now and the baby has developed a regular wake and sleep cycle.

Week 28: The brain tissue is increasing and eyebrows and eyelashes are visible.

Week 29: The Baby weighs approximately 1.25kg and the head is growing rapidly due to brain development.

Week 30: The eyes are now developed enough to see the difference between dark and light, and at this stage they can even follow a light source with their eyes.

Week 31: The baby is continuing to put weight on and developing a layer of fat under the skin.

Week 32: The toenails and fingernails, as well as skeleton are formed, but they are still very soft and pliable.

Week 33: Between 2 and 2.3kg, the bones start to harden, except for the skull, which needs to make it through the birth canal.

Week 34: Fat stores continue to be added, which will help the baby to regulate its temperature after delivery. The central nervous system is continuing to mature.

Week 35: The liver is beginning to process waste and space in your womb is now tight with baby weighing between 2.5 and 2.7kg Week 36: The lanugo and vernix that covers baby’s skin is starting to fall off the skin and into the amniotic fluid. Baby will swallow this and it will form their first poo – meconium.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

kg

Week 37: The baby is between 2.7 and 3.2 kg and the vast majority of its organs are functioning.

Week 38: The brain is still forming connections that are important for learning and the lungs are strengthening.

YOUR BABY’S GROWTH WEEK 1-4 5 6 7 8

SIZE

WEEK

Poppyseed Apple seed

21

SIZE Pomegranite

22

Papaya

23

Grapefruit

Pea Blueberry

24

Cantaloupe

25

Cauliflower

26 27

Lettuce

Raspberry

9

Olive

10

Prunes

11

Lime

28

Eggplant

12

Plum

29

Acorn Squash Cucumber

30 13

Peach

14

Lemon

15

Orange

16

Avocado

17

Onion

18

Sweet Potato

Week 39: The layer of fat under the skin continues to develop, which will help with temperature regulation outside the womb.

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Week 40: The baby weighs between 3 and 4.5kg and is ready to arrive any minute now.

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31 32

Pineapple

33

Durian Fruit

34

Butternut

35

Coconut

36

Honeydew

37

Winter Melon

38

Pumpkin

39 40

Watermelon

Mango

Banana

M a m a s & Pa p a s

Full Term Pregnancy.indd 23

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2016/02/03 7:39 PM

M&P|preggy fashion

PAIRED TO

KNIT TANK MAXI DRESS, R999, WITCHERY, WOOLWORTHS.

Perfection

If you are very pregnant, then maxi dresses are an absolute must for comfort. We show you how to pair them with great shoes and accessories.

SHORT-SLEEVED MELANGE (LIGHT GREY), R295, CHERRY MELON. RAPOLLA CLUTCH BAG, R649, ALDO.

ZELDA BEACH BAG NAVY STRIPE, R499, FOREVER NEW.

BOYFRIEND JEANS, CHERRY MELON, R429, ZANDO.

ISTRAGO BLOCK HEELS, R899, ALDO.

24

Preggy Fashion.indd 24

WEDGE WITH WOODEN FINISH, R159, RAGE.

M a m a s & Pa p a s

2016/02/03 9:28 PM

M&P|preggy fashion M&P STUDDED BACKPACK, R139, MRP. LONG SHIRT DRESS, R399, MAMA, H&M.

FUNNEL-NECK DRESS, R699, WITCHERY, WOOLWORTHS.

WORDS: TEBATJO MANAMELA. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS, PINTEREST.

MOLE HANDBAG, R599, H&M.

METALIC GLADIATORS, R199, RAGE.

TALLULAH MULTI-STRAP WATCH PACK (GOLD), R499, FOREVER NEW.

LEATHER TRAINERS, R749, H&M.

M a m a s & Pa p a s

Preggy Fashion.indd 25

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2016/02/03 9:29 PM

M&P|labour & birth

THE LOWDOWN ON PELVIC PROLAPSE

Delivering a baby changes your body in many ways. While the stretch marks and temporary bulges are standard, there are some complications that can cause quite serious long-term conditions. Cathrine Versfeld spoke to Dr Mduduzi Masilela about one of these conditions, pelvic prolapse.

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M&P|labour & birth hen one looks at the range of uterine and abdominal complications that can arise from childbirth, it begins to make sense that women (and especially mothers) did not live very long in the old days. Less than 100 years ago, the life expectancy of even a young mother would hang in the balance during childbirth. Complications after birth pushed the percentage of her chances even lower.

Thankfully, medical research has come a long way, and even conditions as serious as pelvic prolapse are no longer as serious or life-threatening as they would have been in the past.

WHAT IS PELVIC PROLAPSE? Pelvic organ prolapse occurs when a pelvic organ, such as your bladder, drops (prolapses) from its normal place in your lower belly and pushes against the walls of your vagina. This may sound like it should be an excruciating, or terminal condition, but Dr Mduduzi S.L. Masilela, a general practitioner in Bromhof, Johannesburg, sheds some light on the subject. Although many women will have some kind of pelvic organ prolapse and it can be uncomfortable or painful, it isn't usually a serious health problem and it doesn't always get worse. In some cases, it can get better with time.

The most common organ to prolapse is the bladder, but more than one pelvic organ can prolapse at the same time. Other organs include the urethra, uterus, vagina, small bowel and the rectum.

WHEN CAN THIS HAPPEN? According to Dr Masilela, when the muscles and ligaments supporting a woman's pelvic organs weaken, the organs can slip out of place and create a bulge in the vagina.

Women most commonly develop pelvic organ prolapse some years after childbirth,

after a hysterectomy or after menopause, and this bulge can worsen over time. Pelvic organ prolapse is most often linked to strain during labour and childbirth. Where your pelvic organs are normally kept in place by the muscles and tissues in your lower belly, during childbirth these muscles can get weak or stretched.

If they don't recover, they can’t support your pelvic organs. Removing the uterus, as in the case of a hysterectomy, can sometimes leave other organs in the pelvis with less support. Dr Masilela reminds us that pelvic prolapse is a very broad term covering various organs and areas. For example, pelvic floor defects may be created as a result of childbirth and are caused by the stretching and tearing of the endopelvic fascia and the levator muscles and perineal body.

Pregnancy itself, without vaginal birth has been cited as a risk factor as well.

A study, ‘The Progression and remission of pelvic organ prolapse’ by Handa et. al. (2004) suggests that vaginal birth and operative vaginal birth increase an individual’s risk for urinary incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse five to 10 years after delivery compared to Caesarean deliveries without labour. Impaired nerve transmission to the muscles of the pelvic floor can cause the muscles to decrease tone, leading to further sagging and stretching. Although

menopause also plays a role in pelvic organ prolapse, the exact mechanisms are not completely understood.

Other medical conditions that may result in prolapse are those associated with increased abdominal pressure, for example, obesity, chronic pulmonary disease, smoking, constipation and pelvic organ tumours, sacral nerve disorders and diabetic neuropathy. According to Dr Masilela, “a thorough evaluation and definition of all support defects is of critical importance, because most women with pelvic organ prolapse have multiple defects.”

IS THIS CONDITION CONSIDERED A LIFELONG AFFLICTION? Dr Masilela says there is hope. Prolapse is not a lifelong affliction and can be dealt with simply or with surgery, depending on the level of prolapse. Although it is rare for a new mother to experience pelvic prolapse, the ‘creeping’ nature of the condition makes it important to bear in mind in future. It can be avoided by being aware of your body and taking care to maintain healthy eating habits and regular, strengthening exercises.

Again, pelvic prolapse is not uncommon, and today, more than ever, there is a wealth of education and specialised treatment available for women with the diagnosis.

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M&P|labour & birth

Dr Masilela suggests the following management protocols: The Simple Approach Mild prolapse in the early stages can often be treated without surgery. The simple approach can mean: l Pelvic floor muscle training, where a programme of treatment is planned to suit your individual needs, with the advice of a pelvic floor physiotherapist. l Learning what caused your prolapse and making needed lifestyle changes, such as improving your diet, fluid intake, exercising and losing weight. l Being aware of good bowel and bladder habits to avoid straining on the toilet. l Having a pessary (a plastic or rubber device that fits into your vagina) carefully measured and placed into the vagina to provide inside support for your pelvic organs.

The Surgery Approach Surgery is a treatment option for serious symptoms of pelvic organ prolapse, but you may want to delay having surgery if you plan to have children (or more children). The strain of childbirth could cause your prolapse to come back. You may want to consider surgery if: l You have a lot of pain because of the prolapsed organ. l You have a problem with your bladder and bowels. l The prolapse makes it hard for you to enjoy sex.

Types of surgery for pelvic organ prolapse include: l Surgery to repair the tissue that supports a prolapsed organ. l Surgery to repair the tissue around your vagina. l Surgery to narrow or close off the vagina – sexual intercourse is not possible after this type of surgery. l Surgery to remove the uterus (hysterectomy).

Surgery can be done through the vagina or the abdomen to repair the torn or stretched fascia and ligaments. Sometimes special mesh is used to strengthen it where it is weak or torn. As the body heals, the mesh helps form stronger tissues to give more support where it is needed.

After Surgery Care To prevent prolapse coming back again, you should make sure you: l Have expert training to make sure your pelvic floor muscles work to support your pelvic organs (kegel exercises make your pelvic muscles stronger helping you recover faster from surgery). l Don’t strain when using your bowels. l Keep your weight within the suitable range for your height and age. l Learn safe ways of lifting, including sharing the lifting of heavy loads. l See your doctor if you have a cough that won't go away. l See your doctor if simple things don’t seem to make it better.

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IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO MANAGE POSSIBLE PROLAPSE

Ads.indd 16

2016/02/03 9:53 AM

M&P|baby names

What better place to start looking for your baby’s name than with the letters of the alphabet? We selected a few names for each letters from different cultures to get you started.

NAME A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

MEANING

ORIGIN

GENDER

Athandwa

They are loved

Zulu

Girl

Akeem

Wise

Arabic

Boy

Aubrey

Blond ruler

French

Boy

Bella

Beautiful

Latin

Girl

Bonita

Pretty little one

Spanish

Girl

Boipelo

Prideful

Setswana

Boy

Cienna

God is gracious

Italian

Girl

Caspar

Treasure

Persian

Boy

Cruz

Cross

Spanish

Boy

Darcey

Dark

Gaelic

Girl

Devina

Heavenly

Hebrew

Girl

Deven

Divine

Hindi

Boy

Dominic

Lord

Latin

Boy

Emeka

Great deeds

Western Africa

Girl

Eva

Life

Hebrew

Girl

Eugene

Noble aristocrat

Greek

Boy

Ezra

Help

Hebrew

Boy

Femi

Love

Egyptian

Girl

Frieda

Lady

German

Girl

Faizaan

Grace

Arabic

Boy

Gugulethu

Our treasure

Zulu

Girl

Greta

Pearl

German

Girl

Gino

Ever-living

Italian

Boy

Heidi

Exalted nature

German

Girl

Hera

Queen

Greek

Girl

Harvey

Battle worthy

Old French

Boy

Imani

Faith

Arabic

Girl

Ishaan

Giver of riches

Sanskrit

Boy

Ivan

God is gracious

Hebrew

Boy

Jasmine

Flower

Persian

Girl

Jamaal

Handsome

Arabic

Boy

Jeevan

Giving life

Indian

Boy

Katlego

Successful

Setswana

Unisex

Kiara

Black

Irish

Girl

Kyle

Narrow

Celtic

Boy

NAME L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGE: ŠISTOCK.COM.

W

X

Y

Z

MEANING

ORIGIN

GENDER

Laiba

Angel of heaven

Hebrew

Girl

Lwandle

Ocean

Zulu

Unisex

Lyla

Lyle

Arabic

Girl

Matilda

Mighty in battle

Old German

Girl

Marco

Hammer

Latin

Boy

Matteo

Gift of God

Italian

Boy

Nina

Little girl

Spanish

Girl

Noor

Light

Arabic

Girl

Nyiko

Gift

Xisonga

Boy

Ophelia

Help

Greek

Girl

Oscar

Spear of gods

English

Boy

Ozan

Bard

Turkish

Boy

Palesa

Flower

Sesotho

Girl

Perrie

Pear tree

French

Girl

Pieter

A rock

Afrikaans/Dutch

Boy

Quinn

Wisdom

Gaelic

Boy

Quincy

Estate of the fifth son

Old French

Boy

Quentin

Fifth

Latin

Boy

Rendani

Give praise

Tshivenda

Unisex

Riley

Courageous

English

Boy

Rhulani

Harmony

Xitsonga

Boy

Salma

Peaceful

Arabic

Girl

Serena

Calm

Latin

Girl

Salman

Safe

Arabic

Boy

Tendani

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M&P|0-1 babies As part of the Global Vaccination Awareness Campaign, Nicky Manson, mom of two, takes a look at the vaccinations your baby will need in their first year and why.

he medical website, www. medicinenet.com, defines the term vaccination as ‘an injection of a killed microbe in order to stimulate the immune system against the microbe, thereby preventing disease’.

Vaccinations, or immunisations, work by stimulating the immune system, the natural disease-fighting system of the body. The healthy immune system is able to recognise invading bacteria and viruses and produce substances (antibodies) to destroy or disable them. Immunisations prepare the immune system to ward off a disease.

Immunisation is recommended by pediatricians, doctors and midwives and according to research, vaccinating your child from birth can help to prevent a host of serious childhood diseases. Most children can be safely vaccinated with very few side effects, such as a rash, swelling or bruising at the site of the injection, and a mild fever.

However, there are exceptions, and history has shown that some children with allergies to something in a vaccine can react entirely differently. Children with compromised immune systems may also react badly.

FIGHTING DISEASES THAT SHOULD BE EXTINCT

ENHANCING YOUR BABY’S IMMUNITY 32

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In more recent times there has been quite a debate on the pros and cons of vaccination and it ultimately comes down to the parent’s choice. I put the debate out on social media and got a very colourful and heated response.

70% of moms were vehemently pro vaccination, with many of them asking how can the issue of to immunise or not to immunise even be debatable.

30% were against vaccinations. Their views are just as strong and many have had negative experiences to base their opinions on. One of these moms is so opposed to vaccinations that she has been interviewed in The Star newspaper about her views, which are a consequence of her newborn son having a febrile seizure (a lesser known side-effect of the DTacP-Hib vaccine).

M&P|0-1 babies For more on her research, go to www. worldwidetruth.com/blogs/1/3/my-journeywith-vaccine-awareness or read up on the Vaccine Awareness South Africa (VASA) Facebook page.

FACT OR FICTION? There have been global concerns regarding the connection between the combination vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella, called the MMR vaccine, and the developmental disorder autism.

However, it is important to note that this has been discredited by doctors and the World Health Organisation. The notion has persisted because the symptoms of autism tend to emerge around the time that the vaccine is given – when a child is a year old. Experts stress, however, that this does not mean the vaccine caused the problem. The Institute of Medicine backed up this conclusion: “Numerous vaccines are given to little babies over that first year, just when a lot of developmental changes are occurring,” said Dr Edwards. “If something happens around the time a vaccine is given, it’s easy to think the vaccine caused it.” If parents are still hesitant, vaccinations for measles, mumps and rubella can be given as single vaccinations and not a combined one, thus preventing a resurgence of diseases that should be under control.

and will become unnecessarily anxious and scared at the clinic.

5. Don’t threaten your children at home if they are being naughty they will go to the clinic for an injection, as this too will add to the fear of the clinic.

6. If breastfeeding, ask the nurse to please administer the vaccines whilst the baby is on the breast. If this is not possible, breastfeed immediately after the injection to comfort baby.

7. Have some form of distraction for the baby, like a book or their favourite toy for afterwards.

8. Ask the nurse to explain possible side effects to you once the baby has been vaccinated so you know what to look out for and how to manage these at home.

9. Don’t plan anything else for that day. Take your baby home and keep them calm.

10. Allow for around 24 to 48 hours to recover. Your baby may become more irritable. Apply arnica cream to the injection site to help with bruising. If you see something that concerns you, contact your doctor.

Vaccinations come in different forms such as drops and injections. In some instances, your child may be given a single dose or a combined booster shot. Vaccines are as effective given in combination as they are given individually.

GETTING THE JAB More often than not, mom is more scared of the needle than their baby or children. Joburgbased midwife, Pippa Hime from MyMidwife offers 10 tips for moms when getting their children vaccinated: 1. Your baby should be wearing something that allows for easy access to the upper thigh.

2. Have your vaccination card with you so that it can be updated.

3. Stick to your appointment time or clinic day for vaccinations.

4. Remain calm. Babies pick up on your stress M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|0-1 babies Figure One: EPI from birth to 12 months AGE AT BIRTH

VACCINATION Oral Polio (Drops) Tuberculosis Hepatitis B

6 WEEKS

COMBINATION 1: Diptheria Tetanus Acellular Pertussis Haemophilus Influenza Type B Hepatitis B Inactivated Polio Rotavirus 1 Pneumococcal Infection 1

10 WEEKS

COMBINATION 2: Diptheria Tetanus Acellular Pertussis Haemophilus Influenza Type B Hepatitis B Inactivated Polio

14 WEEKS

COMBINATION 3: Diptheria Tetanus Acellular Pertussis Haemophilus Influenza Type B Hepatitis B Polio Inactivated Polio Rotavirus 2 Pneumococcal Infection 3 Measles Pneumococcal Infection 4

FROM 9 MONTHS

Chicken Pox (Private Sector)

12 MONTHS

Hepatitis A (Private Sector)

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IMAGES: ŠISTOCK.COM.

9 MONTHS

Ads.indd 8

2016/02/03 9:32 AM

M&P|0-1 babies

PERINATAL STROKE Stroke in the first 28 days of life is much more common than parents realise, with the risk of stroke being greater than at any other time of life in the first week after birth. Mary Moore talks to an expert to find out more about this condition in delicate young lives.

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M&P|0-1 babies t isn’t a pleasant thought, but newborns in their first month of life are just as at risk of stroke as the elderly. According to the National Stroke Association based in Colorado, USA (www.stroke.org), stroke happens in about 1 in 4 000 live births.

DEFINING STROKE A stroke happens when a blood vessel that carries oxygen and nutrients to the brain either bursts or is blocked by a clot, caused by a heterogenous group of conditions. Dr Rajeshree Govender, Paediatric Neurologist at Inkosi Albert Luthuli Central Hospital in Durban, says that strokes occurs between 20 weeks of foetal life through to the 28th postnatal day and are confirmed by neuroimaging (CT or MRI scans).

There are two types of ischemic stroke that occur in children, especially newborns: Cerebral Sinovenous Thrombosis (CSVT), where there is blockage of a vein or sinus in the brain.

Arterial Ischemic Stroke (AIS), where there is blockage of an artery in the brain.

Haemorrhagic stroke is when a blood vessel in or near the brain ruptures, causing bleeding in the brain.

Transient Ischaemic Attack or TIA is also known as a mini-stroke, because the symptoms last for a short amount of time.

WHY DO STROKES OCCUR IN NEWBORNS? According to Dr Govender, there are multiple risk factors for neonatal strokes. l Maternal factors include diseases in the mother such as autoimmune diseases, drug abuse by the mother or infections in the mother. l Thrombosis (blood clots) or infections of the placenta may also be causally linked.

During pregnancy, proteins come across the placenta from mother to foetus, which help to decrease the risk of bleeding. However, this puts the foetus at higher risk for clotting and stroke. Sometimes clots can form in the placenta and travel to the foetus’s blood circulation. These clots may eventually make their way to the baby’s brain and cause a stroke. l Factors in the baby include heart disease, congenital deficiency of factors that prevent clotting, and infections including meningitis and encephalitis. l Premature babies, whose blood vessels are more fragile, can suffer bleeding in the brain. l Dehydration in the first few days after birth can cause the blood to clot.

Neonatal strokes, therefore, are “probably related to multiple different factors that are coming together at the time of birth to cause a blood clot to go to the brain and result in a stroke,” explains Dr Heather Fullerton, Director of the UCSF Pediatric Stroke and Cerebrovascular Disease Center in her online audio transcript of an interview, titled ‘Treating Stroke in Newborns and Children’ (2008). Dr Fullerton continues to explain that a mother forms blood clots more easily around the time of birth, as this is something she has to do so that she can basically clot off and not bleed after delivering the placenta.

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M&P|0-1 babies HOW ARE STROKES DIAGNOSED AND TREATED? A specialist familiar with perinatal stroke (usually a paediatric neurologist) will use imaging such as a computed tomography scan (CT scan) or magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan of the brain. These images can show whether a stroke was due to a blood clot or bleeding. Sometimes a dye is also used to make the artery and vein structures in the brain easier to see, and also to see if a blockage is present in the arteries or veins as a cause for the stroke.

Dr Govender emphasises that neuro-protective strategies are used to prevent further brain injury. There may be a need to use anti-coagulation therapy due to certain causes (thromophilias, i.e. deficiency of factors preventing clotting).

“Deficiency of factors that prevent clotting of blood often has a hereditary or genetic basis and congenital heart disease is also a risk factor,” says Dr Govender.

“… a newborn’s brain can build new neuron connections despite stroke damage, finding alternate routes around the injury.”

HOMEMADE OIL According to the National Stroke Association in Colorado USA, the following current treatments for paediatric stroke include: l Supportive care to maintain normal body temperature, proper hydration, and normal blood sugar levels. l Controlling high blood pressure. l Detecting and treating seizures with EEG monitoring and anticonvulsant medication. l Managing intracranial pressure. l Blood transfusions for children with sickle-cell disease. l Antithrombotic therapy, which refers to medications used to prevent blood clots from forming or growing, is used in children, but generally not infants. l Surgery related to haemorrhagic stroke (and less commonly, ischemic stroke) is sometimes performed to relieve pressure on the brain.

HOW TO RECOGNISE THE SYMPTOMS Quick diagnosis is important so that treatment and therapy can help to reduce death and improve outcomes of stroke.

According to Dr Govender, the commonest presenting feature in the newborn is seizures, which in turn lead to imaging being performed that reveals the stroke. The infant may also present with a “depressed level of consciousness or non-specific

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symptoms like feeding or breathing difficulties,” Dr Govender adds, and says, “Rarely do they present with weakness of their upper or lower limbs, as is typical for adults with strokes.”

Although seizures are the most recognisable sign of stroke in this age group, the symptoms of seizure are sometimes difficult to spot in newborns. According to Lisa Applegate’s onlilne article ‘Real Mom: My Baby Had a Stroke’ (September 2010), ‘infants might have seizures or twitches in only one arm or one leg, show a weakness on one side of the body, or have delays with their speech as well as with crawling and walking.’

OUTCOMES OF STROKE IN NEWBORNS According to Applegate, their neurologist told them that ‘a baby's brain is extremely elastic’ therefore ‘much of its wiring

M&P|0-1 babies muscle weakness) is the most common complication in perinatal strokes,” says Dr Govender, “with epilepsy, learning disabilities, and behaviour problems emerging as possible conditions.” These conditions require rehabilitation and therapy over the long term to ensure the best possible quality of life for the child.

CAN THIS BE PREVENTED? Dr Govender explains, “A healthy pregnancy lifestyle, including not indulging in drugs or alcohol during pregnancy, and booking early with a clinic or obstetrician may protect against perinatal stroke.” Furthermore, “managing preexisting maternal conditions and treating complications such as infections in the mother are also important safeguards.”

For example, if an expectant mother has a history or family history of clotting disorders, she should alert her doctor so that the necessary steps can be taken to manage this.

SUPPORT AND ADVICE

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

“A healthy pregnancy lifestyle, including not indulging in drugs or alcohol during pregnancy, and booking early with a clinic or obstetrician may protect against perinatal stroke.”

– especially the areas involving thinking, emotions, and behaviour – is established during the first months and years after birth.’ This means that a newborn's brain can build new neuron connections despite stroke damage, finding alternate routes around the injury. With that said, there are a number of common complications that can arise from stroke in newborns.

“Hemiplegic cerebral palsy (a neurological disease that is marked by severe abnormalities in movement and

Various hospital units countrywide have the capacity to provide rehabilitation including paediatric wings, and attending specialists including paediatric neurologist, paediatrician, neuropsychologist, speech language therapist, and psychologist might be able to help your child. In order for parents feel more in control of their child’s health and the challenges they may face, it is advisable to keep all records and information available. Finally, as a way of lightening the load, parents should consult with their doctor, family members, friends or any community resources about assistance with meals, transport, child minding, and emotional support, if necessary.

Dr Rajeshree Govender, Paediatric Neurologist MbCHB, DcH, FCPaeds, Cert in Paed Neurology (SA), MPhil (UCT) at Inkosi Albert Luthuli Central Hospital in Durban.

For information and inspiration about children recovering from a stroke, check out Ellen Seidman's blog about her son and being the parent of a child who has special needs at lovethatmax.blogspot.com.

Visit these helpful websites: Calgary Pediatric Stroke Program (www.perinatalstroke.com), Children’s Hemiplegia & Stroke Association (www.chasa.org) and Pediatric Stroke Network (www.pediatricstrokenetwork.com).

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M&P|hall of fame

WIN* WITH PHILIPS AVENT! Send snaps of your picture-perfect baby moments to us at photos@mamasnpapasmag.com to feature on our Hall of Fame.

Include your baby’s full name, gender and age, as well as your full contact details, with Hall of Fame in the subject line.

Last month’s winners...

Faith Dhludhlu Malaika Setshedi Rahmah Stoffburg

YOUR BREASTFEEDING Q&A Breastfeeding brings its own unique rewards and like so many aspects of parenthood, it is an art that has to be learned. To some it comes easily, others may need more patience. In an effort to help you get the best out of these precious moments, Philips AVENT answers some of the most common FAQs about breastfeeding that new mothers have.

Q How do I prepare my breasts for feeding?

The aim of breast care is to improve the suppleness and not the toughness of the nipple.

The following measures may help achieve this: l Each day, late in pregnancy, gently draw out your nipples and where the nipple joins the aerola, roll them gently between your thumb and forefinger to make them easier to stretch. l Wear a supportive bra to reduce the risk of stretch marks and sagging of the breasts. l Avoid using soaps and drying agents on the nipples. l Do not scrub nipples with hard brushes and rough towels (it removes the natural oils and cause damage to the skin of the nipple). l Expose your breasts to fresh air and sunlight, but limit the time and expose gradually.

Q Will flat or inverted nipples affect my ability to breastfeed?

Truly inverted nipples may be a hindrance in established breastfeeding. However, these are rare; often nipples appear flat but become normal as soon as the baby starts feeding. Test the nipples for inversion by doing the following: l Compress the areola between the forefinger and thumb, behind the base of the nipple. l If the nipple protrudes, it is likely that the flatness or inversion will correct itself. l A truly inverted nipple will stay flat or retract. This may make latching more difficult. Your midwife may suggest that breast shields be worn during pregnancy, or may recommend other types of exercise.

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Babies must be 0 to 3 years to qualify. Closing date for March 2016 issue Hall of Fame entrants: 31 March 2016. * M&P terms and conditions apply. See page 96.

Available at Baby City or online from www.takealot.com. Alternatively all products can be viewed on www.babies.co.za.

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M&P|dr dad

HYPOTHYROIDISM

IN BABIES The thyroid disease usually seen in adults also occurs in children, but what in the world is a thyroid and how does it affect your baby?

he thyroid gland is shaped like a little butterfly or bowtie and it sits under the skin in front of your neck. This gland produces and releases hormones into the bloodstream, the most significant of which is the T4 (thyroxine) and T3 (triiodothyronine). All the cells in the body need thyroid hormones to control how fast the body uses up energy – they are also key factors in helping children grow.

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Q. Could you please explain more about hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism?

Thyroid disorders occur if the thyroid gland produces too little thyroid hormone called hypothyroidism, or too much thyroid hormone called hyperthyroidism.

Hypothyroidism – The slug Hypothyroidism occurs as a result of an under-functioning or sluggish thyroid gland. It is caused by a variety of things, including autoimmune disease,

treatment for hyperthyroidism, thyroid surgery, radiation therapy, and some medications. Less frequently, it could be caused by congenital disease, a pituitary disorder, pregnancy, or an iodine deficiency.

Hyperthyroidism – The over-zealous Hyperthyroidism is the result of an overactive thyroid and the body produces excess hormones, which then impact on how the rest of the body functions. There are different types of hyperthyroidism, falling under diagnoses Graves’ disease, hyperfunctioning thyroid nodules, and thyroiditis.

Hyperthyroidism tends to run in families and is usually more common among women than among men.

Q. My family has a history of thyroid disease. Does this mean my baby will also have it?

It is thought that genetic factors are somewhat involved in the onset of Graves’ disease, Hashimoto’s disease and certain thyroid tumours. However, thyroid disorders are not only caused by genetic factors, though it is still unknown

M&P|dr dad consult with or send you to a paediatric endocrinologist, a children’s doctor who specialises in hormone problems such as hypothyroidism. A repeat measurement of T4 and TSH will be done on the blood drawn to confirm the diagnosis of hypothyroidism.

what other factors are involved. Even if the disease is genetically transmitted, boys are less susceptible than girls to thyroid complications.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, SHUTTERSTOCK.

Q. How will I know if my baby has neonatal hypothyroidism?

Many affected babies display few or no symptoms and this is because their thyroid hormone level is only slightly low. Infants with a severe case of hypothyroidism usually have a unique appearance, which includes a dull look, puffy face and a thick protruding tongue.

As the disease progresses, your child may develop: l Choking episodes l Constipation l Dry, brittle hair l Jaundice l Lack of muscle tone l Low hairline l Poor feeding habits l Short height l Sleepiness l Sluggishness.

Q. What Are The Symptoms Of Untreated Thyroid Disease In Babies?

Some babies have a yellow colour to their skin or the whites of their eyes, called jaundice. Children who remain untreated usually experience some delay in their mental and physical development, and they are much shorter than average. They may also have an unsteady gait; most will have speech delays and some have behaviour problems. The following is commonly seen in untreated children: l Coarse, swollen facial features l Breathing problems l A hoarse-sounding cry l Delayed milestones l Wide, short hands l Anaemia l Hearing loss l Slow heart rate l Fluid build-up under the skin.

Q. How Will My Baby Be Diagnosed?

The test itself is a heel-prick for infants that should ideally be done at birth, on every child. Your doctor may

Q. How Complicated Is The Treatment Of Hypothyroidism In Babies Or Children?

It’s easy to see how hypothyroidism can be confused with many other illnesses that affect South African men and women, but it’s important that you work with your doctor to identify links between symptoms. A simple blood test is all it takes to provide diagnosis.

Treatment for hypothyroidism is affordable, and essential to quality of life. It is true that endocrinologists, the specialist doctors that treat thyroid disease, are in short supply in South Africa. However, specialist doctors at Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital are pioneering a scanning protocol and training programme that, if rolled out to primary care clinics across the country, will make testing and diagnosis of thyroid disease much quicker and easier.

HYPOTHYROIDISM AND PREGNANCY It’s

important

for

women

of

childbearing age to understand the implications of hypothyroidism, as it can severely impact the development of your unborn children. If you’re undiagnosed during pregnancy and immediately after birth, children affected by hypothyroidism don’t develop mentally or physically as they should, occasionally leading to catastrophic outcomes.

Dr Dad and M&P would like to thank DR Kiran Parbhoo for his contribution to this column.

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M&P|toddlers

FEET FIRST Healthy feet are an important part of a healthy life. Loren Stow takes a step in the right direction as she investigates how foot development during childhood forms the basis of our lifelong foot health.

s adults we tend to forget about our feet as we shove them into shoes of all shapes and sizes and go on about the business of everyday life. We barely notice how our feet carry us through the day, support our bodies and provide strength, balance and well-being – until they begin to ache that is!

Your child’s feet develop at a rapid pace from birth all the way to the end of adolescence. Hema Gosai, a podiatrist who specialises in paediatric foot health and intervention, is a part-time lecturer at the University of Johannesburg (UJ) and works in the paediatric clinic at Baragwanath Hospital in the same city. Gosai explains that as a podiatrist she is a healthcare professional who works in diagnosing, preventing and treating foot and lower limb conditions. “Foot health links to general health and by treating early signs of possible foot conditions, I can help a child to improve and increase mobility and therefore general health,” she elaborates.

THE FUNDAMENTALS OF FOOT DEVELOPMENT Gosai describes how children’s feet differ from those of adults; they grow rapidly and they are a different shape altogether. From birth to 12 months a baby’s feet are generally wider at the front and narrower at the heel, often with curly toes. “Their feet are made up entirely of cartilage, so they are very soft and pliable. This is why children can often do things to their feet without harm that would certainly injure an adult under the same circumstances.” However, because of their pliability children’s feet are highly susceptible to deformities if they are not looked after correctly.

A baby’s feet are padded, soft and highly flexible and have the big job of supporting their entire body weight. “Make time for your baby to kick and flex their legs, as this will help their leg and feet muscles to get stronger,” Gosai advises. When a toddler starts to walk they are usually flat-footed and may turn their feet inwards because of poor muscle tone and weak ligaments in their feet. Gosai says reassuringly, “Don’t worry, this is normal and should improve as their feet strengthen.”

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M&P|toddlers If you are ever concerned about your child’s gait or feet, Gosai stresses the importance of consulting a specialist. “A podiatrist will be able to advise whether appropriate exercises or corrective in-shoe device might be needed.” Many other foot problems are common and easily remedied if treated early (see Common Foot Problems).

THE FOOT BONE’S CONNECTED TO THE ANKLE BONE… A foot is a really complex structure made up of 26 bones and 36 joints, supported by many ligaments. By the age of 7 or 8, a child’s foot is basically bony and their toes have straightened out, but the bone development will continue until the age of 18.

PUTTING YOUR CHILD’S BEST FOOT FORWARD It goes without saying that foot health is important for your child’s overall development, but foot health does not start and end with the shoes they wear. Instead, it is a holistic approach that takes into account all areas of health and well-being. Gosai explains that parents can promote healthy foot development the following way: Keep an eye on your child’s milestones.

“It Is important that parents know at what age their babies should be standing (eight to 10 months), walking (18 months) and running (two years), so that if they don’t meet these milestones they can look for further assistance from their baby’s paediatrician, clinic nursing sister, as well as a podiatrist” Gosai says.

Ensure your child has a balanced diet, and is generally healthy and safe. Foot conditions are more prevalent in lower socioeconomic areas, where poor diet, increased illnesses due to lack of preventative care, and higher exposure to physical accidents, causing a greatly increased risk of poor foot health, deformities and injuries.

Know the signs of foot conditions and act early. Some foot problems are pain-free, so even when a child is not complaining of pain they could be developing a foot problem that will only become more and more serious.

“Sort it out when it starts so that it doesn’t become a bigger problem later on,” Gosai underscores. l Missed milestones l Unbalanced standing or walking where one foot is often given preference l Walking on the toes for more than 6 months l Tripping or falling more than usual l Uneven shoe wear l Any foot or lower leg pain l Lumps or bumps on the feet

“… foot health does not start and end with the shoes they wear. Instead, it is a holistic approach that takes into account all areas of health and well-being.”

TO SHOE OR NOT TO SHOE? Choosing the correct footwear remains a very important part of ensuring your child develops and maintains healthy feet. Gosai emphasises that a baby does not need shoes at all until they are walking outside, and even then these are just for protection. Babies can happily walk on ‘friendly’ outdoor surfaces such as grass and soft sand without shoes. “Walking barefoot allows a child to take in important sensory information, develops balance, coordination and posture, strengthens foot muscles, and improves spatial awareness,” Gosai says, adding that whenever possible barefoot really is better.

NO HAND-ME-DOWNS You should never pass shoes down to younger siblings as they mould to the original wearer’s feet and can negatively impact the following child’s foot development.

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M&P|toddlers IF THE SHOE FITS

STANDING UP FOR FOOT HEALTH “You only get one pair of feet for your whole life and they are your foundation and ability to be mobile,” Hema Gosai says emphatically. Your child’s feet are so important to their ability to access life, learning, sport, health and one day work and travel, so checking their foot development is just as important as checking their teeth, hearing and sight as they grow.

APPROVED BY THE PODIATRY ASSOCIATION OF SOUTH AFRICA Look out for Funmates and Walkmates shoes, which can be found at Woolworths, and Froggies shoes which can be found at a variety of retailers nationwide. For more information, contact the Podiatry Association of South Africa:on 0861 100 249 or visit www.podiatrist.co.za.

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COMMON FOOT PROBLEMS Flat Feet: All babies are born with flat feet and as their feet strengthen, this usually improves. Some children’s flat feet do not improve and a podiatrist can assist with exercises and inshoe devices to correct this issue.

Pigeon Toes: Toes pointed in or out can sometimes cause problems and may cause a child to trip over more often. A podiatrist can manage the issue with exercises, corrective inshoe devices or even shoe modifications. Alternatively you may be referred to a paediatrician, orthopaedic surgeon or physiotherapist if the issue is higher up in the child’s hip area.

Sometimes a baby is born with foot problems Overlapping Or Curly Toes: Present from birth but more noticeable when a child starts to walk, it is caused by tendons that are too tight and pull the toe towards the underside of the foot. Often these toes do not pose a major obstacle to mobility but if they do, treatment can vary from taping the toes to surgery where the tendon is cut to release the toe.

Cerebral Palsy: Children born with cerebral palsy may have certain foot and gait problems such as spasms in their ankles and feet, in-toeing or out-toeing, limping, toe walking, or dragging of their feet when walking. Sometimes these problems can assist in diagnosing cerebral palsy at a later age.

Club Foot: A clubfoot is a relatively common congenital birth defect where the sole cannot be placed flat on the ground.

It is not painful for a baby, but if left untreated can become a major obstacle in walking and mobility. It is treated by a multidisciplinary team of doctors and specialists and can be greatly improved if treated early.

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM.

If you do need to put shoes on your child, Gosai shares what to keep in mind when choosing a good shoe for your child: l Your child’s feet grow very quickly*, so always ensure the shoes fit properly. The average growth rate of a child’s feet: 0 to 18 months: ½ a foot size every 2 months 18 to 24 months: ½ a foot size every 3 months 24 to 36 months: ½ a foot size every 4 months 36+ months: ½ a foot size every 6 months *Children aged between 10 and 14 years have a growth spurt and can outgrow their shoes even faster, sometimes even skipping a shoe size altogether. l A proper fitting shoe is not just the correct length, but width too. l The cost of a shoe is irrelevant – simply because a shoe is expensive does not mean it is well designed for foot health. l What to look for in a shoe: o It must be flexible across the ball of the foot where the toes bend. o It must be stable and firm by the heel. o Buckles, lace-ups or Velcro are important in keeping the shoe firmly on the foot and stopping the foot from sliding forward in the shoe. o Leather and canvas shoes are more durable and allow the foot to breathe. o Cotton socks that are not too tight are important accessories. o There should be a thumb’s width between the end of the shoe and the end of the longest toe to allow room for growth and space for free movement of toes. o Shoes should not need to be ‘broken or worn in’; if they do they are either poorly designed or poorly fitted.

M&P|news & tips

FOOD @ THE ZONE A 2 000 sqm indoor food emporium has opened on the first floor of The Zone @ Rosebank, Johannesburg, and offers panoramic views over western Johannesburg, with a balcony on Oxford Road. The new food court, dubbed Food @ The Zone, is the suburb’s hub for fashion, food and entertainment and enables moviegoers, families and entertainment-lovers to relax in an open plan self-service dining space, with access to some of South Africa’s favourite fast-food vendors and sit-down restaurants. Some of these include Panarottis, Spur, Chiapas Eat Mexican, Simply Asia, Wakaberry, Sweets from Heaven, Jimmy’s Killer Prawns and Häagen-Dazs. The intention of Food @ The Zone is to enhance the family appeal and convenience of The Zone @ Rosebank, and to add more leisure facilities to the existing cinema complex.

Families and moviegoers can now really enjoy a full outing.

COMPILED BY TRACY MAHER. IMAGES: BLACKBOOK EVENTS & PR, DUMMETT & CO, SIMPLY ENHLE.

TOYS R US LAUNCHES THE LARGEST POP-UP STORE Toys R Us has recently staked claim to a new record, having showcased the largest pop-up store in Durban’s Gateway Theatre of Shopping. Customers can look forward to a variety of choice as Toys R Us boasts a 324 msq shopping haven, which has been dubbed as the largest of its kind in the complex.

Pop-up store concept has been a growing trend that offers retailers a practical alternative for their customers during times of renovation or relocation, for example.

Customers will find a wide selection of baby merchandise, toys and gaming at the store, which will be open until 5 March at Gateway’s Theatre of Shopping in Durban.

PREGGY ROYAL Simply Enhle has launched a stylish and comfortable maternity clothing line in South Africa.

After its successful launch in New York, princess of silver screen, style icon and mother of two, Enhle Mbali Mlotshwa, expanded her fashion-forward clothing brand for pregnant mothers to her home continent of Africa, starting with SA. SE Preggoz is a range of oneof-a-kind clothing for expectant mothers, that “will not only allow an expectant mother to worry less about being comfortable through her pregnancy journey, but also will leave her looking elegant and stylish.” Available online at www.simplyenhle.com.

SUMMER SNACKING WITH VITAL Small healthy snacks between meals are advised as part of a healthy eating strategy as they contribute to the body’s dietary fibre intake. Vital Health Foods has launched two new flavours in its Mini Rice Cakes range. The GMO-free wholegrain rice cakes are completely free from azo dyes like tartrazine, and as Beef and Salt & Black Pepper are the two most preferred potato-crisp flavours, they have added these varieties to the existing range. Pop a packet into your child’s lunch box or serve up at home with some cucumber and tzatziki, mozzarella and a few drops of basil pesto. Available at any leading retail outlet.

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M&P|kids’ fashion PRINTED DENIM DUNGAREE SHORTS, R170, WOOLWORTHS.

BIB SHORTS, R199, H&M.

STRIPED PINAFORE, R99, MRP.

The popular bib-and-brace allows for freedom of movement and expression during work and play.

HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS (METALLIC), R79, MRP.

DENIM DUNGAREES, R199, H&M.

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M&P|kids’ fashion

DENIM DUNGAREES (MID-BLUE), R299, SOOBE, SPREE.

CROCHET ESPADRILLES, R140, WOOLWORTHS.

DRAPEY DUNGAREE, R549, WITCHERY, WOOLWORTHS.

HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS (GOLD METALLIC), R99, MRP.

FABRIC SHOES WITH PRINT R229, H&M.

HEART DENIM DUNGAREES, R260.

WOOLWORTHS.

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M&P|kids’ fashion BRACES, R79, H&M.

LIGHT DENIM DUNGAREES, R345, SEVEN OUNCE, SPREE.

CHAMBRAY SLIP (MIDNIGHT NAVY), R319, EARTH CHILD.

DUNGAREE CHAMBRAY, R379, EARTH CHILD. PINSTRIPED DUNGAREES, R260, JUST CHILLIN, SPREE.

ADIDAS SUPERSTAR FOUNDATION CF SNEAKERS, R749, SPREE.

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M&P|kids’ fashion

STRIPED DUNGAREES (NAVY), R330, JUST CHILLIN, SPREE.

TRAINERS, R149, H&M.

LACE-UP PLIMSOLES, R99, MRP.

WORDS: TEBATJO MANAMELA. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

STRIPED DUNGAREES (MID-BLUE), R330, JUST CHILLIN, SPREE.

HIGH-TOP TRAINERS, R349, H&M.

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ccording to Tara Berger in her online article ‘2015 Party Trends’ (www.onestylishparty. com) ‘there is certainly no shortage of party inspiration online and innovators in the party industry.’ There are hundreds of party blogs and websites, Instagram feeds and posts on Pinterest to help you choose a party theme that will fit in with this year’s trends for your sevenyear-old. “Gone are the days of the DIY children’s party at home with balloons and musical chairs”, says online article ‘Children’s parties: a winning formula for entrepreneurs’ by Alison Coleman (August, 2014). Parents are informed by current trends ranging from movie themes, games and characters, sporting events, or even the resurgence of artistic styles such as calligraphy, which are all underpinned by the influence of social media trends.

WHAT’S IN FOR 2016?

STORE

According to popular party planner and owner of Making it Count (MIC) Events, Jeannette Funk, trends for boys’ birthday parties in 2016 would be “things like planes, Star Wars, Woodland, sharks, dinosaurs, scientist themes, Lego, Paw Patrol, Minions and farm-style parties”.

For girls, Funk says it will always be “fairies and princesses” with big balloons and lots of glitter with ideas coming from Pinterest.

She says that children will want their favourite animal and she expects the flamingos and owls to come into birthday parties this year, while Carnival and Emoji are also current neutral themes. Funk advises that children always want entertainment and ‘Minute to Win it games’ promise to provide a simple and yet cost effective solution.

Tracy Thomas, event planner and owner of Quirky Queens, says that she is excited to see many new trends, as well as inspirational ideas appearing online for seven-year-old parties in 2016, although

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PRESCHOOLER

PARTY FEVER

Mary Moore takes a look at hottest, trending birthday party themes for seven-year-olds for 2016! there are still some favourites that never get old, such as Marvel Super heroes.

“Star Wars promises to become a new favourite,” she adds, “and opens up so many new ideas and creative avenues, such as the use of blue, black, white and silver colours.” Gaming-themed parties such as Minecraft and Lego, also seem to be on the rise. Some of the more popular themes coming to the fore this year appear to be Pink Camo, Mary Poppins, Candyland, Vintage Pony, and even Safari parties for girls, and camo and

paintball for boys. All of these options allow diversity in terms of colours, party favours and décor choices.

Calley-Anne Blewitt, owner of Sugar Plum Parties in Durban, confirms that movie-themed parties are usually the choice with her clients, with Frozen being a huge hit in the last months. She says that she lost count of how many Frozen parties she has done lately, and that the mothers still go all out to create a memorable occasion, despite the fact that their children may be too young to remember it.

M&P|preschoolers TOP IDEAS ONLINE www.mirabellecreations.com Movie-themed parties, Alice in Wonderland, Photo party with photo booth (rented or set up your own with silly props) www.lalasparty.com Astronomy and astronauts, Mad scientists www.marthastewart.com Space Odyssey – send manned party to the backyard to explore space-themed contests and treats. www.smartparenting.com Art of calligraphy – for invitations, party signs and cake toppers, handcrafted piñatas

ALL THINGS SWEET AND PRETTY Catering wise, Funk says, “It’s sweets and more sweets. Kids love sweets!” She has noticed that healthy snacks like cheese, cucumber sticks and carrots hardly get touched. However, chicken strips, pizza slices, fruit sticks, sandwiches, marshmallows and coated Marie biscuits are always a hit. Funk also loves doing stations where kids can build their own food, e.g. hamburgers, pancakes with different toppings, an ice cream station, or a table where they can decorate their own cupcakes. “Another huge hit at kiddies’ parties are slush machines,” she says, “as every child loves slush puppies.”

However, the focus is on coming up with fun and interactive food items.

According to Funk, the whole concept of matching the cake, party packs, cupcakes, and table décor is

still a firm favourite. Different kinds of balloons are also incredibly easy to incorporate at a party and create a fun, festive environment without costing a lot. “One of the key elements when setting up a party is décor and props,” says Tracy Thomas. “The décor needs to give you the WOW feeling as soon as you walk in!” As for the food, Thomas tries to provide a good balance of food as she says that children tend to forget to eat or, as Funk says, they go for the sweets. “The candy buffet tables are very popular,” she admits. “It makes little guests feel very special when they can choose what they like and even take it home with them.” Custom party packs are made for each party.

Thomas likes the idea of gift cards, as kids like choosing their own gifts, and this encourages them to be a bit more independent.

Event planner, caterer, party specialist and owner of Charlie B’s, Charlie Bainbridge, feels the décor and dressing-up aspects of a party are important, and she finds that many children enjoy fancy-dress parties. It is advisable that if you stipulate ‘fancy dress’ on your invitation, you keep the expectations simple to ensure that all the children will be able to participate.

Some mothers keep a few clothing items on hand for children who fail to arrive in fancy dress. It is always advisable to have a good camera on hand to take snaps or video of these special dress-up moments!

QUIRKY QUEENS – ONE OF THE MORE POPULAR THEMES COMING TO THE FORE FOR 2016 IS THE CANDY LAND THEME.

QUIRKY QUEENS – CARNIVAL IS CURRENTLY A POPULAR THEME.

SUGAR PLUM PARTIES – CONSTRUCTION THEME IS CLEVERLY CREATED.

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M&P|preschoolers

IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM/SUGAR PLUM PARTIES/QUIRKY QUEENS, VECTORSTOCK.COM.

“Some of the more popular themes coming to the fore this year appear to be Pink Camo, Mary Poppins, Candyland, Vintage Pony, and even Safari parties for girls, and camo and paintball for boys.”

POPULAR GIFTING SUGGESTIONS Gone are the days of push toys! One of the following will be sure to make the grade: ü Electronics ü Star Wars gadgets ü Science kits ü Remote control games

CLASS PARTIES

QUIRKY QUEENS - POPULAR GIRLS’ THEME IS MARY POPPINS.

“I personally love cake pops as they are small, they don’t mess and can still be decorated beautifully,” explains Funk, when asked about sharing birthdays with the class at school. Many teachers do not like cakes brought in as treats because of the mess factor and how much classroom time they take up having to divide and share the cake. Karen Johnstone suggests that cupcakes are easier to hand out than offering cake, and finds that most teachers ask for these.

Regardless of whether you choose cake, cupcakes or cake pops, remember to transport them in a suitable airtight carrier to keep them fresh and delicious.

Sending party packs rather than cake is also a great idea, as every kid loves getting a surprise and a treat. As a parting thought, Thomas says, “Sometimes having a birthday party at school is a parent’s best or only option and this can still be made special. Depending on the school’s preferences, themed cupcakes and/or a small party pack makes each child feel special and it keeps it simple.”

QUIRKY QUEENS – SAFARI THEME IS ALWAYS A WINNER!

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M&P|kids’ voices

AR UV

ASHE KUFA

(5

)

6)

R

RA BOTMA KA (

MILA BO TM (4)

M

A

CHIKW SHE A

N D

A

NA U

(5)

“I love swimming at birthday parties.”

“Get cake and lots of meat...”

“I love water slides at the parties and all the friends.”

WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY PARENTS, IMAGE: VECTORSTOCK.

NN IE

E PIENAAR

(6

)

ET

“Fun, games and jumping.”

“I love jumping castles.”

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M&P|preschoolers rade One is the start of an exciting journey, but parents often wonder if their child is ready for ‘big school’. This basic question can make even the most rational adult feel insecure.

Although every child is unique and develops at their own pace, there are certain skills and knowledge sets that most educators and developmental experts agree are essential for social and academic growth, development, and achievement in school.

This article highlights the milestones and stages seven-year-olds (the Grade One child) generally reach:

1. PHYSICAL MILESTONES Educational psychologist, Claire Maher, says that by Grade One, children will still be in the process of developing their gross and fine motor skills. “A seven-year-old will be able to stand on one foot with their eyes closed for a few seconds, tie their shoe laces, skip, catch and bounce a ball and possibly ride a bicycle without training wheels,” she explains. “They will also still be learning to hold a pencil correctly and maintain their grip.”

2. COGNITIVE MILESTONES

UNDERSTANDING YOUR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD M&P turns seven this month and what better way to celebrate than with your own seven-year-old?

Melissa Jane Cook unwraps your preschooler to reveal the seven gifts you have inside!

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According to Swiss developmental psychologist and philosopher, Jean Piaget, children reach the ‘Concrete Operational’ stage at age seven. This stage, which lasts until the child is approximately 11, is characterised by logical reasoning and children will become more aware of events going on around them, as opposed to their previously egocentric nature. “These sevenyear-olds will begin to realise that feelings are unique, i.e. that not everybody feels the same way about events,” says Maher.

3. SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL MILESTONES Maher

states

that,

“According

to

M&P|preschoolers developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, seven-year-old children are in the ‘Industry vs Inferiority’ stage. During this stage a child’s relationships with their peers becomes important.

Erikson explains that the primary challenge for children is ‘Can I make it in the world of people and things?’ Children in Grade One begin to socialise more formally with their peers and teachers, as opposed to just being able to play.” Grade One social and emotional skills are an interesting mix of independence and an increased need for your attention and approval. By age seven, kids typically start to understand that friendships aren’t something they can control by themselves and this may make them a little anxious.

4. LANGUAGE AND LISTENING MILESTONES Maher explains that child of this age may use language in long and complicated sentences to tell about past, present and future. They may also start combining spoken language with reading and writing this year.

“They typically start sounding out words; understand the relationship between letters and sounds; know, use and understand thousands of words, and stop reversing letters by the end of Grade One,” she adds. You will love listening to your child recite nursery rhymes, finger plays and songs and you can look forward to them:

l Understanding and following simple directions, l Listening to others for short periods of time without interrupting with their very important story. l Participating in discussions and conversations.

5. THE QUESTIONING STAGE “While children ask questions out of curiosity from as early as two, their questioning at age seven becomes more serious and they will attempt to solve problems independently and creatively,” says Maher. They will ask their parents, peers and teachers questions in order to satisfy their need to know information – as opposed to some meaningless questions at younger ages.

6. THE STAGE OF SELFAWARENESS

“… the primary challenge for children is ‘Can I make it in the world of people and things?”

TYPICAL QUALITIES OF YOUR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD l Are more independent, but less secure; want a lot of attention and approval from adults. l Form and break friendships easily; can be critical of other kids. l Have feelings hurt more easily and start being very aware of other people’s feelings. l Are eager to please and want to ‘be first’ and win. l Understand right from wrong, but look for the loopholes in rules to get what they want. l Become more gracious losers and are able to reflect on their role in conflicts, by the end of the year.

Your child will begin to recognise themselves as individuals and realise that their thoughts and experiences will not be the same as those around them. They will also begin to understand the feelings of others and develop a sense of empathy. “Talking about strengths and weaknesses can help your child gain selfawareness,” Maher advises. “Get your child involved in something he likes to raise their self-awareness and confidence.”

7. THE SELF-ESTEEM STAGE It is very important for children to feel good about themselves. Statistics show that children with low self-esteem tend to perform below their potential in school and make poor decisions in social situations.

“Self-esteem is not age prescriptive – a child’s esteem can be low or high, positive or negative at any age,” Maher cautions.

“However, as children become more aware of those around them and their achievements, they may struggle with self-esteem if they notice what others are capable of doing in comparison to their own achievements.”

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M&P|preschoolers

ü Be attentive – When your child speaks to you, give them eye contact and listen to them so that they feel that what they are saying is important to you. ü Make a child feel special – Praise children when they do a good job and also for trying hard. Tell children you are proud of them when they put a lot of effort in something. Give compliments and tell them that they are special. ü See the learning in mistakes – When a child makes a mistake, turn the negative into a positive. Focus on what they have learned from the mistake. ü Be a positive role model – If you are constantly hard on yourself, putting yourself down or pessimistic, your children will see that and may eventually emulate those same feelings.

This may lead to them to feel that way about themselves. ü Tune in to their feelings – Sometimes this can be hard, especially when a child has done something to upset you.

Sometimes a child doesn’t understand what they have done. ü Learning to accept different opinions – Children are encouraged to socialise more with their peers, not just their parents or siblings, so they need to learn to compromise.

Temperament will also have an effect on a child’s ability to accept these differences and the opinions of others.

“Grade One social and emotional skills are an interesting mix of independence and an increased need for your attention and approval.”

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For more information or guidance, contact Claire Maher, Educational Psychologist, on Clairemaher.psych@gmail.com.

IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK.

HOW TO HELP IMPROVE A CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM

Your Grade One cherub may seem more independent, but they still need your emotional support and approval, Maher reminds parents.

Children develop skills at different paces throughout the first grade, so your child may meet social and emotional milestones before physical milestones or vice versa. “As a parent, you are your child’s first and most important teacher,” Maher emphasises. “When parents and families are involved in their children’s schools in a positive way, the children do better and have more positive feelings about going to school. In fact,” she adds, “many studies show that what the family does is more important to a child’s school success than how much money the family earns or the parents’ level of education.”

It is important that parents work closely with their child’s teacher and any other important parties, such as therapists or doctors, and if necessary they can attend the various workshops that schools offer on how they can best assist their child. It is essential that parents understand their child’s capabilities so that they do not push their children unreasonably and expect them to perform beyond what they can and are developmentally expected to achieve. Maher reminds parents that there is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to child development, so enjoy your child as their potential begins to unfold before your eyes.

M&P|gogo’s advice

GOGO’S BEST HOUSEHOLD HEALERS Everyone seems to be opting for gentler methods of healthcare, and using Gogo’s kitchen cures is one way to achieve this.

COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES:WWW.PINTEREST.COM, WWW.IN-COSMETICSASIA.COM, WWW.STARTUPSARAH.COM.

SALT WATER MOUTH WASH FOR SWOLLEN GUMS

PETROLEUM JELLY Have you ever wondered why Gogo always has petroleum jelly in her house? The answer is simple; you can use it for just about anything!

1. Prevent windburn – It makes an excellent protective barrier between your skin and the wind.

2. Get relief from psoriasis – Apply the petroleum jelly to dry skin patches caused by this chronic skin condition. It lubricates the skin and helps remove hard, itchy scales.

3. Soothe chapped lips – To stop rapid evaporation, which causes dry lips, rub jelly onto your lips to keep them moisturised and glossy.

4. Protect cuts and grazes – A layer keeps moisture in and air and bacteria out.

5. Prevent nosebleeds – Rub gently inside your nostrils to avoid nosebleeds and keep your mucous membranes moist. This tip is especially useful when you’re flying.

Salt water is a natural disinfectant and helps get rid of all microbes in your mouth that can cause inflammation of your gums.

When you use it to rinse your mouth, you can get ease the discomfort of swollen gums.

You Need: ½ or 1 teaspoon salt ½ or 1 glass warm water Method: Place the salt into a glass. Pour the warm water over it. Mix well, with the help of a spoon if needed.

Take some of this warm salt water into your mouth and swish it all around there.

Spit is out after few seconds. Repeat the process with the remaining salt water in the glass.

You may rinse your mouth two to three times a day or as and when you require in order to get rid of swollen gums.

GOGO’S WARNING!1 Do not consume large amounts of cinnamon during pregnancy. This is because it may induce uterine contractions and, in some cases, even cause premature labour.

Remember that, although you trust Gogo’s advice, it’s always best to ask your doctor or nurse at your local clinic first!

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M&P|preschoolers

Nicky Manson discovers finding a caretaker for her children is not as easy as ABC. 60

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M&P|preschoolers au pair and a night nurse. According to caregiver placement company, Aupair Exclusive, a nanny will take care of your children only. She will know first aid and usually have a childcare certificate. She does not have a licence. A domestic helper will clean your house and do everything that relates to washing and cleaning and may also watch the children. A day mom is someone that you send your children to during the day and she attends to all of your child’s needs. This normally takes place at the day mother’s house and she usually has more than one child to take care of. An au pair will have her own car and licence, and first aid and childcare qualifications. She drives the children around, runs errands for the family and assists with the overall care of the children. A night nurse is for younger babies. She will help the mother by taking over the nighttime duties.

HIRING THE RIGHT PERSON We chat to the owner of Au Pair Exclusive, Marion Smith, about the intricate details of hiring a child caregiver.

Who do you find is more in demand?

My most common placement is for a night nurse who works a 12-hour shift at night, taking care of newborn babies. For day jobs, the most common placement is the childminder and the domestic childminder – a lady who cleans both the house and takes care of the children.

Should a caregiver have any qualifications?

A first-aid certificate is a good start. We hold a basic one-day childcare course and a sleep-training course. This is to ensure that all staff members understand the different cultural ways of raising children, and learn what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. It also provides the caregivers with basic knowledge of hygiene, how to wash and sterilise bottles, bath time safety, etc. Advanced childminders can do other courses that may take two or three months.

Should a caregiver have any formal medical training? eaving your baby or young child in the care of another person for the first time can be a very anxious moment for parents. Since moving to a new city, I have been through three caregivers for my baby in just six months.

It is a hard position to fill… your own shoes, that is. It is probably one of the difficult decisions to make, and the most important, because you cannot afford to get it wrong. The price is too high a one to pay.

There are a number of different types of childcare options available today. For example; a nanny, domestic worker, day mom,

For day staff, first aid is only required. A night nurse is usually a qualified caseworker or nurse.

How do you maintain boundaries between you (the employer) and the caregiver? Is it important?

It is very important to maintain boundaries. When the relationship becomes too friendly, issues start arriving. The caregiver should respect the mom’s ideas and ideals on raising her children, even if the caregiver does not approve of them.

“For day jobs, the most common placement is the childminder and the domestic childminder – a lady who cleans both the house and takes care of the children.”

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M&P|preschoolers “The caregiver should respect the mom’s ideas and ideals on raising her children, even if the caregiver does not approve of them.”

What are the most important qualities for a caregiver?

Kindness and patience. She is taking care of someone else’s most important possession and should treat the child as her own.

What kind of background checks can one do?

We always request written references, as you can very quickly determine their authenticity. Many people take the time to write good references. Call these references and double-check them. You can also do a police clearance, verify certificates and some families even do credit checks.

happy with their caregiver. Also if the child has any injury, make sure that you fully understand how it came about.

If you suspect abuse, what can you do legally?

You would need to have proof; however, do not hesitate to report it to the authorities. You can then install the nanny cam to get the evidence that you require. You could also have another person come and work in the house together with the person you suspect.

This could be a family member. She will then be able to see the dayto-day activities.

What are your thoughts on the nanny cam?

There are pros and cons to this. A new mom usually wants them. She is nervous and with the many horror stories out there, she does not want to become another statistic. However, if you want to build a relationship of trust with your child’s caregiver, you cannot be watching or spying on them from their first day of employment. If someone has the intention to do something wrong, they will make a plan to do it. I would suggest introducing a nanny cam if you suspect there is a problem but I wouldn’t start off with it.

There have been documented reports of abuse on children by nannies – how does one avoid this?

I always say follow your gut instinct. Even if a candidate has a superb resume, if you have a small nagging feeling don’t employ that person.

Your instincts are probably right. Secondly, once you have someone working for you, pop in at unexpected times and have other family members also visit on the spur of the moment. You will very quickly pick up if something is amiss. Take the time to do as many checks as possible on the person before employing her. Her CV should not have any gaps and even if a current employer has emigrated, they will still have an email address or family in South Africa. Lastly, we allow for candidates to work up to five consecutive days on a trial period without any commitment. This way both the employer and employee can see if they are happy.

Are there any warning signs to look out for?

A candidate with more than one phone number is always questionable. They are the ones that abscond quicker, as they are always on the look out for a higher paying job, etc. A candidate who always has family problems is also something to be concerned about.

If you come home from work and your children are more often than not unhappy, crying or just being difficult, it could mean they are not

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For more information, contact Au Pair Exclusive, Johannesburg: 072 049 7891 / 072 136 5927, KwaZulu-Natal: 061 339 1056; email marionsmith@ telkomsa.net or visit www.aupairsexclusive.co.za.

M&P|preschoolers

“Even if a candidate has a superb resume, if you have a small nagging feeling don’t employ that person. Your instincts are probably right.”

IMAGES: ©iSTOCK.COM.

A list of questions to guide you in your caregiver interview, courtesy of Au Pair Exclusive. l What is your family situation? l What are your childcare and first-aid qualifications? l How do you feel about me working from home or popping in any time? l Why do you like children? This often flushes out those who don’t and is subtly different from ‘what do you like about looking after children’. l What are your strengths? l Why did you leave your last three jobs? l What are some of the things you would do with a child of this age? l Do you have a philosophy or approach to childcare? l What are your feelings on setting boundaries and discipline? l What are the bad things about the job? l What are the worst kinds of parents to work for? l The baby has been crying for an hour and nothing seems to work, what do you do? l The baby vomits a feed, feels very hot, falls asleep and you can’t wake them up. You can’t contact the parents. What do you do?

(Right answer: call an ambulance) l I ask you to do something a certain way and you think it’s the wrong way. What do you do? l How much notice do you want to give for holidays? And how much notice should we give for our holidays without you? l Can my toddler or preschooler call me to come home, or to come and get them, or for a chat any time on your mobile if needs be and I will call back or reimburse you for the call? l Do you own your car and is it insured? If so, is it fully comprehensive?

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M&P|cover story others come from all walks of life; they celebrate a multitude of cultures, enjoy all kinds of family structures, and offer to the world many different strengths and weaknesses. Despite the incredible feats that mothers everywhere achieve on a daily basis, they are, after all, just human, and many wonder if they’re doing the best they possibly can. We share their stories of courage and determination, borne from two very different journeys, to show that that there is no single way to be a perfect mom, but a million different ways to be a great mom.

First there’s Grugulethu, a Nelspruit-based single mom, and then there’s Luzaan, Hartbeespoort-based first-time mother.

They may look very different to each other and they certainly have their own stories to share, but they have something in common – their courage in the face of adversity. The next time you come across a mom you’ve never met, remember that we all have a story, we are all courageous, and we are all working hard at the million ways to be the best we can be.

GUGULETHU BERLINGTON Gugulethu Berlington (36) was born in Kanyamazane, just

M&P|cover story

A Million Ways TO BE A MOTHER As we celebrate our seventh birthday, Loren Stow talks to two moms who represent so many other mothers out there. outside Nelspruit. Her father had a successful string of businesses and her mother was a teacher before leaving to assist her husband with his ventures.

Gugulethu recalls always being more interested in her father’s businesses than being a homebody.

“As a child I was closer to my father and only really became very close to my mom when I got older and had my own children,” she admits.

As one of four sisters she describes that the competition could be quite overwhelming at times, as each girl tried to express herself and carve out her own space within their family.

“We always want to be together, even now, and family is really important to us, but when we are together we tend to fight!” she says with a laugh. “We all love dancing and eating out, but we all have very different careers, from finance to marketing to writing and law.”

Being successful underpins Gugulethu’s drive in life, even though it all started out quite differently.

Initially, while her mother studied teaching, her maternal grandparents raised her in a small mud hut with only a few rooms. What the home lacked in grandeur was more than compensated for by the fact that it was filled to the brim with uncles, aunts and her grandparents, all doting on her. “This was the happiest time of my life; my grandfather spoiled me and I was given so much attention by everyone.” She returned to live with her parents when she started school at the age of four and life was very different.

Not only did Gugulethu’s family grow with the birth of her three other sisters, but they also lived a privileged, but isolated, life. “Our father was quite strict and we weren’t allowed to go out and play with other children. We had guards at our gate and if we did go anywhere, we’d have strict curfews,” she recalls. “But

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we were blessed enough to travel on holiday to London and Disneyland and all over the world, really.” This also set her and her sisters very much apart from the average family in her community, and the fact that she moved around to a variety of schools also added to Gugulethu’s growing independence and need to take care of herself without relying much on others.

At the age of just nine Gugulethu survived a house fire that started in her bedroom one night, where she sustained third-degree burns to her arms as a result of having to punch through her burning bedroom door to free herself. “The curtains were on fire and I was on the second floor, so I couldn’t get out the window. The only way out was through the burning door.” What followed was a long and painful rehabilitation, after which she had to repeat a year at school because of what she had missed. “I used to be bitter about the fire and I still have very visible scars on my arms.

I used to ask why me. But as I got older I realised that I had actually been given a second chance at life and if I survived that, I could survive anything.”

And survive she has. Life would continue to throw curve balls at Gugulethu and while there were times she almost gave up, she is still standing and more fulfilled than ever.

“I became a parent 11 years ago and my husband at the time was wonderfully supportive and we were very happy. I

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M&P|cover story had two incredibly easy pregnancies and my prayers were answered when I had a boy and then a girl,” she explains. Her previously business-focused personality changed into one of a very hands-on mother.

It was after the birth of her daughter that the mother of two developed postnatal depression. “I thrived on being a mother to my son, but having two babies so close together became too much for me,” she states, adding, “and then our divorce followed the depression.” Gugulethu describes the few years as the most difficult of her life, but also a time when she was sure the hand of God was directly over her.

“I don’t know how I did it,” she admits, describing how she made the choice to do her articles on a fraction of the salary she was earning, as a single mom juggling work, studies and children. “I literally didn’t know how I was going to pay the bills, but something just worked out every time and eventually I qualified and now I’m living my dream.” Together with her qualification came relief from the postnatal depression, and she can now honestly say that she feels like she’s a great mother.

“Eleven years on and I’d say yes, I am a great mom. I am so involved with my children and I make sure I’m the one driving them to school and their sporting events, helping with their homework and everything,” she beams. And if you ask 11-year-old Jodi and his sister, 10-year-old Jadyn, what they think of the fact that they’re going to have a baby sister, you’ll hear shrieks of joy as they regale you with the plans they’re making to be the best siblings ever.

From attending doctor’s check-ups to gathering nursery accessories and lovingly collecting baby blankets, Gugulethu’s eldest children are beyond happy. And while this pregnancy was certainly not planned, it has been a blessing that everyone is eagerly anticipating. “It’s just been the three of us for so long now and we are used to it. We love our little family and we can’t wait to welcome our newest baby. Of course I will miss the support I had the first time around, but we are so blessed and happy with the family we have.”

“It’s just been the three of us for so long now and we are used to it. We love our little family and we can’t wait to welcome our newest baby.”

After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the fifth month of her pregnancy, Gugulethu is now receiving treatment and she is less anxious about the possibility of developing postnatal depression again. “Getting the diagnosis explains a lot about my personality and some of the choices I’ve made, so instead of being devastated I am actually relieved. I’m getting the support I need for this,” she shares matter-of-factly.

Of course, true to Gugulethu’s vibrant and busy nature, she is working fulltime, has started her own business on the side, and is completing her Master’s degree, all the while being a single mother and carrying her third child. “This is who and how I am, and I embrace that, but I also know that I am always there for my children and I am going to be a great mother to Zani when she arrives too.”

LUZAAN GROBLER First-time mom Luzaan Grobler (33) lives with her husband of seven years, Cornelius (37), at Hartbeespoort. Together they own a manufacturing company, which supplies the entertainment industry. “It took a long time for us to conceive because of fertility issues and we are so excited to be having our first son now,” she opens up with such sincerity in her voice.

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M&P|cover story Luzaan and her younger brother André lost their mother at the age of five and three respectively, which could have ripped their worlds completely apart. Instead, they were absorbed into an uncommon family structure, but one that offered – and continues to offer – incredible support. Luzaan went to live with her maternal grandparents and André continued to live with their father. “I had a very traditional upbringing with school, lots of sports and church every Sunday,” Luzaan explains. “My grandparents took on the role of parents and I had my dad on weekends and whenever I needed him.”

Having lost their daughter, Luzaan’s grandparents never hesitated to take on the challenge of raising their granddaughter and she jokes that she kept them young. They attended every sports event that she did and she was an avid athlete, taking on as many different events as she could. “I have loved athletics since I could walk and I always remember my grandparents being there. My grandfather would be almost running beside me and my grandmother was always at the finish line,” she says with a smile, adding that she still loves to run.

Now that she’s pregnant, the least she’ll do is walk on the treadmill for 45 minutes.

This close-knit family centred around their church on Sundays followed by her grandmother’s big Sunday roast. “My grandfather is the soft one and I’d go to him first if I needed extra pocket money or something; my grandmother is a little stricter with routine and things,” Luzaan says. As for her father, he is the man many people go to when they need answers to a problem or question. “He will tell you what you need to hear, even if you don’t want to hear it.”

Routine and discipline were always important to her father and she remembers that if she and her brother André were having a fall out they’d be summoned to their father’s house where they’d have to sit in a room until they sorted things out. “My father believes in solving issues quickly and it’s not acceptable to ignore problems.”

After he remarried in 2001, Luzaan is now very close to her stepmother and her two young half-brothers.

Following her wedding in 2008 to Cornelius – who is also from a close family and is one of three siblings – they just assumed they’d fall pregnant. But this is not how it happened. After trying for a year the couple sought medical advice, but all the tests came back inconclusive; there was nothing physically causing their inability to conceive. “So we decided to just carry on trying,” Luzaan remembers. For a long time they lived with calculating her ovulation, reading everything they could about fertility, and trying hard to fall pregnant, but eventually the disappointment of not conceiving month after month was too much for them. “So we decided we would stop actively trying and it would happen when it was meant to,” she explains.

And that was their life for many years. “There was always something else going on, a big order for the business, or my stepmother having a baby, or whatever. We always had something we were focused on that took our minds off of going to see a fertility specialist.” That is until the tragic and sudden death of Luzaan’s M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|cover story brother in a motorcycle accident in September 2012. “I spoke to my brother the one day and then the next day I realised I would never speak to him ever again. It was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through and it changed me forever.”

Now Luzaan cannot shake the profound fear of losing a loved one and her husband knows if she calls he has to answer, if only to let her know that he’s safe. “You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, you just don’t.” Her brother’s passing was the impetus the couple needed to see a fertility specialist and start the family they so desperately wanted.

“It turned out that all we needed was artificial insemination, which worked the second time around,” Luzaan shares, describing the moment she discovered she was pregnant as a Sunday morning before church while Cornelius was still fast asleep in bed. “I crept into the bathroom and did two home pregnancy tests even though we were going the next morning for proper blood tests. When I saw those two lines appear on both of the tests I burst into such loud tears that I woke Cornelius.” She stood at the bathroom door with the tests in her hands and it was the happiest moment for the couple. Since then they’ve decided to name their son Deandré Pieter, after her brother and Cornelius’s father.

“Every single person in our lives is happy for us, supports us, and is excited about our baby; our families, our friends, the people at our church, and those within the small community of Hartbeespoort. We are overwhelmed by the love and support we have received for our baby,” Luzaan gushes with wonder. Although Luzaan has experienced more than her fair share of loss, she is an example of what is possible when others embrace you. She is the living example of the African belief that it takes a village to raise a child; it happened to her and it will happen again for her son.

“She is the living example of the African belief that it takes a village to raise a child; it happened to her and it will happen again for her son.”

“My best friend since Grade One is taking off two weeks to be with me after the baby is born, because she wants to be there if I need her for anything,” she smiles, and even Luzaan’s gynaecologist is someone she’s known for 15 years. “She knows already when I come for a check-up that she just puts a tissue in my hand when we start the scan, because as soon as I see his heartbeat I start to cry.”

And as for Cornelius, she describes her husband as practical and driven. From rubbing her feet to refusing to allow her to carry heavy groceries from the car, Luzaan knows that her emotional nature can sometimes be at odds with her husband’s calm personality. “When we were going through my brother’s death and our fertility issues he was never emotional like I was, but he always found a way to support me and make me feel better.” And now with the pregnancy Cornelius and Luzaan spend every evening on their stoep, while she shares what she has read that day about pregnancy or labour and birth. He will listen quietly, absorb the information and then ask a question now and again when he’s not sure. “He wants to be as prepared as I am, I know that.”

Different but similar, our cover moms are testament to how there are so many different ways to be a family, so many incredible ways to be strong and a million reasons to celebrate mothers around the world.

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DIRECTED BY: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. HAIR & MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLONGO. DRESSED BY: D’ORÉ SANDTON.

M&P| working moms & dads

THE MILLENNIAL

PARENT

It seems that every few years a new type of mom emerges‌ there was the Helicopter Mom, the Tiger Mom, Dragon Mom and now Millennial Mom has arrived on the scene. Cathrine Versfeld takes a closer look at the categorising of mothering styles.

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M&P| working moms & dads t is probably fair to say that ‘in the good old days’ no parent started out with the express purpose of applying a particular parenting style. For many centuries, people have raised their children the way their parents raised them. But times have changed significantly since those days.

From the first printing of Dr Spock’s childrearing book in the ‘60s to the volumes of books, blog posts, scientific papers and raging opinion boards online today, a parenting style is practically mandatory.

DO PARENTS REALLY FOLLOW A STRINGENT RECIPE? In my mind, there were always two categories: ‘bad parenting’ and ‘good parenting’. But that was many years ago when I was young and childless, so naturally, I knew everything. After the birth of my first few children, I persisted in the belief that good parents were the ones whose children were always clean and well behaved. I would take my brood of mewling, mud-covered children to a park and watch with extreme envy, as a mother nearby sat on a park bench and fed a wonderfully clean, relaxed baby a tub of healthy yoghurt. In the background, mine would be fighting like cats in a bag and demanding sweets. This led me to conduct furious research on the subject. I was convinced that the problem lay in my style of parenting, and somehow, somewhere, I would find the ultimate formula and become the best mother in the world.

Tiger parenting and Dragon parenting. As the millennial generation has reached the age of child-bearing, Millennial parenting appears to be on everybody’s lips. But these are all just clever-sounding labels. What does it all mean?

TIGER PARENTING Tiger parenting refers to the strict and controlled way that some Chinese mothers apply to rearing their children.

Extra-mural, academic and even leisure activities are carefully scheduled and controlled. As far back as preschool, children of Tiger moms are assessed for skills in gymnastics or maths or a musical instrument and then immediately put on track to master them. The goal of Tiger parenting is long-term and focuses heavily on the future competency and success of the child. Critics of the style believe that these children are pushed too hard and do not get enough opportunity to explore, play and just be children.

DRAGON PARENTING Dragon parenting appears to have emerged as a backlash to Tiger parenting. Also quite prevalent among Chinese moms, its focus is to enjoy your children in the moment, as they are right now, and not apply any expectations or long-term pressure. Although Dragon moms do not discount the importance of academics, a lot more focus is put on the emotional and playful component of parenting. Critics do not view this as a good long-term parenting strategy, although many have conceded that it is ideal for parents whose children suffer from a terminal illness, where the longterm outcome is unpredictable.

CO-PARENTING Co-parenting is still very popular in many Western countries, although it refers more to pre-and primary school children. Similar to Dragon parenting, the philosophy is that children develop better when they

“Millennials can best be described as people who were born between the late seventies and late ‘90s.

This is the generation that represents the majority of parents in the world today.”

WHAT ARE THESE PARENTING STYLES? There are many that would have popped up your Facebook feed or appeared in your inbox at some point. Helicopter parenting and co-parenting were two that stood out for me. More recently, the world has turned its attention to Asian forms of parenting, due to the generally high rate of academic success of the children in these countries.

This has sparked two popular trends that are attached to Chinese zodiac symbols, namely M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P| working moms & dads “Millennials are more interested in the emotional well-being of their children. The overwhelming child-rearing research coming out of Europe is that children progress better when they play more.”

are close to their parents. Co-moms sleep with their babies in their beds, stay by their side while playing, and carry them on their backs or in pouches while going about their daily activities.

parents have even been known to continue this behaviour at universities and worse still, show up at their children’s work interviews in adult life.

HELICOPTER PARENTING

WHERE DO MILLENNIALS FIT IN?

Helicopter parenting bares a close resemblance to Tiger moms and coparenting, although it is more related to a parent’s constant and complete involvement in every aspect of the child’s life. Helicopter parents tend to spend a lot of time at their children’s schools and demand special attention for their children. In extreme cases, Helicopter parents have been known to get involved with playground fights, lodge complaints against the school when their child doesn’t get a good role in a sports team or school play and berate teachers when their children don’t excel academically. According to a 2011 paper ‘Hovering too close. The ramifications of helicopter parenting in higher education’, (M.A Olivas and D.Y. Jones) some helicopter

Millennials can best be described as people who were born between the late seventies and late ‘90s. This is the generation that represents the majority of parents in the world today. We are neither helicopter parents nor co-parents. The world is a different place now than it was 20 years ago, and certainly more so in South Africa. So what separates us?

Millennials are more interested in the emotional well-being of their children. The overwhelming child-rearing research coming out of Europe is that children progress better when they play more. Millennial parents are aware of this and are starting to show a real push to minimise stress and undue pressure in the lives of their children.

Empathy is also a primary component in

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this new style. However, the tightening world economy has also influenced the way Millennials view money, careers and future prospects for their children.

In South Africa, quality schooling has become paramount and many parents spend more money than they can comfortably afford to try and guarantee a good future for their children. In addition, recent media attention on the plight of abuse against women and children in the country has changed the way our generation of South Africans views discipline. Where corporal punishment may have been common across cultures 20 years ago, millennial parents are reevaluating the way they were disciplined and applying more modern, non-aggressive techniques to their children.

As the saying goes, ‘Haters gonna hate’ and as with every new parenting trend, the critics weigh in hard on Millennial parents.

Many say that the children of today have no respect for authority and that they will grow up unable to do a good day’s work. It may help to remember, however, that critics were saying this to the baby boomers in the ’60s and have continued to say this of every generation since.

I have five children now and I can unequivocally state that there is no formula.

And even if there was some perfect recipe, it wouldn’t work perfectly for you. Every family is different, every parent is different and every child is different. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t wisdom in some of these parenting methodologies. Since my desperate search for the answer all those years ago, I have found and applied many approaches that wouldn’t have occurred to me otherwise.

By all accounts though, the overwhelming parenting trend for all ages should be love.

Loving your children and making sure that they know it. Whether you stick rigidly to an ideology or simply emulate the things your parents did, there can be no replacement for unconditional love. It is the one ingredient that no parenting recipe can ever do without.

M&P| working moms & dads

IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK, DEPOSITPHOTO.

MOST COMMON TRAITS OF MILENNIAL PARENTS In October 2015, Time Magazine published an investigation to try and identify the most common parenting traits in Millennials. By looking at statistics from previous years and including a poll that they conducted with 2 000 participants, they were able to reach some remarkable conclusions. l ‘Open-minded’, ‘empathetic’ and ‘questioning’ are the qualities Millennial parents most want for their children. l Millennial parents are concerned with the pressure to appear a certain way, thanks to the images posted by their peers on social media. l Nearly 90 percent of Millennials use social media l Forty-six percent of Millennials posted a pic of their youngest child either while in the womb or before the baby was 1 day old l Thirty percent of Millennials are concerned with their friends judging what their kids eat. l The average age of a first-time mother now is 26 years old. l Sixty-one percent of Millennial parents believe their kids need more unstructured playtime, according to a 2013 report by FutureCast, and only 21 percent view their children as ‘overscheduled’. l Millennials are more likely to look to Google for advice and only half as likely to turn to books. l Helicopter parenting is frowned upon by Millennials.

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M&P|dr herman

PREMATURE MENOPAUSE When you reach 40, you may start to notice signs of progression toward menopause. However, some women may notice such changes before 40.

enopause occurs when a woman stops ovulating and her monthly period ceases.

Many women reach menopause between the ages 45 and 55, with the average age being around 51. However, there are a small percentage of women who experience menopause before the age of 40. This is known as premature menopause or premature ovarian insufficiency (POI).

Q. What causes early or premature menopause?

Premature menopause means that your ovaries have spontaneously stopped working before reaching the age of 40. Women can be affected in their teens or early 20s for any of the following reason: Autoimmune conditions – About 10 to 30 percent of affected women have an autoimmune disease, such as hypothyroidism, Crohn’s disease, systemic lupus erythematosus or rheumatoid arthritis.

Genetic conditions, such as familial ovarian failure and rarely, galactosaemia. The latter occurs when the body cannot convert the carbohydrate galactose into glucose. It is thought that the unconverted galactose could be toxic to the ovaries. About five to 30 percent of women have an affected

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female relative, which suggests a genetic link such as: l Conditions characterised by enzyme problems, such as congenital adrenal hyperplasia, can also bring premature menopause. l Other genetic conditions such as Turner’s syndrome, where a chromosomal abnormality can cause early menopause, but this is usually evident before puberty. Fragile X syndrome may be another cause. l Viral infections such as mumps or cytomegalovirus, could trigger premature menopause in some women, although the evidence is still inconclusive.

Q. Am I experiencing early onset menopause?

Early onset menopause usually begins while a woman is still having periods. Hormonal changes take place, prompting these symptoms, which vary in frequency and intensity for each woman. This stage is called perimenopause, and it typically begins in the early 40s and signals the end of a woman’s reproductive years. Visit your doctor during the perimenopausal stage in order to establish if you are in fact experiencing early onset menopause symptoms and to learn how you can effectively treat them.

In the case of early onset menopause,

the symptoms can be difficult to deal with, which is why it is very important to recognise and understand the changes your body is about to go through in order to best deal with them. The symptoms are caused by a decrease in oestrogen and progesterone levels, which control menstruation and ovulation. When the ovaries stop working, they trigger a range of symptoms.

Symptoms Of Early Onset Menopause: l Hot flashes and night sweats l Irregular periods l Vaginal dryness l Mood swings l Reduced libido

menopause and sometimes they may be quite severe. In addition, women who go through menopause early may have a higher risk of certain health problems such as heart disease and osteoporosis. Talk to your doctor about treatment options that may help with the symptoms.

COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK.

Q. What treatment is available?

To reduce severe symptoms and longterm health risks associated with early onset menopause, your doctor may suggest hormone replacement therapy (HRT). However, it is possible to reduce some symptoms with changes to your lifestyle and environment, and you can also consider trying natural and complementary therapies along with HRT. Look into the following: l Healthy diet and eating l Exercise and physical activity l Natural and herbal therapies l Relaxation and paced respiration for hot flushes and mindfulness therapy.

Hormone Replacement Therapy is recommended to: l Ease menopausal symptoms l Maintain bone density and reduce the risk of osteoporosis l Reduce the risk of early onset of cardiovascular and heart disease.

l Hair loss l Incontinence l Heart palpitations l Dry skin l Joint stiffness, aches and pain l Reduced muscle mass.

Q. How is premature or early menopause diagnosed?

A number of tests are used to diagnose premature and early menopause. These include the following: l Medical history, family history and medical examination. l Investigations to rule out other causes of amenorrhoea (absence of periods), such

as pregnancy, extreme weight loss, other hormone disturbances and some diseases of the reproductive system. l Investigations into other conditions associated with premature or early menopause, such as autoimmune diseases. l Genetic tests to check for the presence of genetic problems associated with premature or early menopause. l Blood tests at various stages of the menstrual cycle to check hormone levels.

Q. How will this condition affect me?

If you enter menopause early, you can have symptoms similar to those of regular

LONG-TERM RISKS OF HORMONE THERAPY There are no long-term studies of HRT in women experiencing a premature and early menopause. However, women in the expected age category of menopause (45 to 50) should be taking HRT, and not anyone older. All the studies of long-term use of HRT published in recent years have been in women some years after the expected age of menopause. These women have much greater risks of heart disease, stroke and cancer because of their age. Serious adverse effects in younger women are very rare.

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M&P|family law

Advocate Veerash Srikison emphasises the importance of couples in customary marriages understanding what makes their union legally recognised. hen the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act (RCMA) became law on 15 November 2000, it gave full legal recognition to customary marriages of the indigenous African people of South Africa. Even those involved in an existing valid marriage under customary law before this date had their marriage recognised under this new law. It is important to note that this Act now states the rules that people getting married under customary law must follow in order for their marriage to be recognised.

In terms of Section 4 of the Act, a customary marriage is recognised if the following requirements are complied with: l Both parties to the marriage must be over the age of 18 years and have consented to the marriage. l If both or either of the spouses are/is a minor, child’s parent or guardian must consent to the customary marriage. l The marriage must be negotiated, celebrated and entered into in accordance with customary law.

Lobola is not a necessary requirement for legal recognition of the customary marriage.

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If paid, it proves that the marriage was negotiated in accordance to custom, but it does not automatically make the marriage valid in the eyes of the law.

REGISTRATION OF THE CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE Either spouse may request a registration of the marriage and must do so within three months of the marriage. The registration can only take place if the following people, once they have completed the necessary forms and declarations, are present at any office of the Department of Home Affairs, or through a designated traditional leader in areas where there are no Home Affairs offices: l The two spouses, with copies of their valid identity books and a lobola agreement, if available. l At least one witness and/or representative each from the groom’s family and the bride's family.

In the event that the spouses were minors (or one was a minor) at the time of the customary marriage, the parents should also be present when the request to register the marriage is made. Even though not registering the customary marriage does not invalidate the marriage where there is one husband and

THE LEGAL STATUS OF A CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE All customary marriages where there is one husband and one wife are in community of property. If the parties want to be married out of community of property, they will have to enter into an ante-nuptial contract before getting married. If they want to change to a marriage out of community of property after they are already married, they will have to apply to the High Court. If the husband has no other wives, the couple can get married under civil law as well as customary law.

However, neither of them will be able to enter into customary marriages with anyone else while they are married to each other under civil law.

If the husband wants to marry another wife he must enter into a written agreement or contract, which will state what should happen to the property and he must apply to the court to approve the written contract.

The court has to make sure that the property interests of all the wives are protected.

Should a couple want to divorce from each other they must approach a court of law and show that the marriage has broken down beyond the point of reconciliation.

The court will also decide on the contact and care of the children based on the best interests of the children and not who paid the lobola.

The contents herein are for information purposes only and must not be construed as legal advice.

Please seek the assistance of a legal professional for your particular circumstances.

IMAGE: SHUTTERSTOCK.

UNDERSTANDING CUSTOMARY MARRIAGES IN SA

one wife, it does invalidate the marriage if the husband is marrying a second wife after this Act was passed into legislation, that is, after 15 November 2000.

The registration of a customary marriage also plays an important role when a spouse dies and proof is required that a customary union did indeed take place for the surviving spouse, and possibly his/her children, to claim benefits from the deceased’s estate, especially where the claim of the customary marriage is disputed by the deceased spouse’s family.

M&P|deConstruct to Construct

TAKING STOCK

IMAGE: VECTORSTOCK.COM.

This month Fumani N. Shilubana celebrates the first anniversary of his column in Mamas & Papas – a platform he has enjoyed as he grows his mission to implore the parents of the nation to reconstruct a new truth and empower their children with a better reality.

arch is a very special month for me, as my emotional barometer goes through the roof and I run the gamut of emotions. Not only is it the seventh birthday of Mamas & Papas magazine, but I also celebrate my birthday on 22 March.

According to my mother, I was born at 12:40 on a Saturday and she explains that had she disobeyed the nurse’s instructions during my delivery, I might not be here today as the umbilical cord was tangled around my neck. This knowledge drives me to live a purposeful life.

Another reason I celebrate the month of March and strive to lead a life of meaning is my son, VP. He was born on 6 March 2005 – strangely enough, also with the umbilical cord tangled around his neck. Fortunately the doctor had foreseen this complication and VP was successfully delivered by C-section, changing his mother’s and my life forever, and igniting the initial sparks of passion that led to the foundation of FatherFigureZA (#FFZA) 14 months ago.

Reflecting on the year that has passed, I confess to finding my calling in #FFZA. Despite being separated from my son’s

mother, we are both committed, cooperative parents and I have taken my duty as a father one step further. Nurturing children, addressing the issues of absent fathers and providing a safe family unit (regardless of how one defines family), establishing a healthy society and empowerment through education have become my primary areas of focus and FatherFigureZA has provided a solid base from which to approach these societal issues head-on.

While it hasn’t been an easy journey, radical action is the only way to create the change SA so desperately needs and my being a recognised public figure is an effective tool in my social responsibility armour.

However, I soon realised the depth of the issues plaguing our society and the war against absent fathers would have to be waged one battle at a time. These battles became the pillars of #FFZA: Migrant Labour Under Apartheid, The William Lynch Method, Cultural Practices and Life Expectancy.

Television and radio interviews provided me with other platforms to publicly declare the war on our fatherless society and speak about our vision, mission and statement – when you name it you have to claim it and be

accountable. Along the way, our foundation realised the powerful force of unaddressed anger, misguided or understandable as it may be. Too many South Africans have experienced absent husbands, missing fathers, fathers who haven’t claimed them, or the loss of their parents. Instead of sweeping this reality under the rug, leaving it to manifest in a culture of hatred and violence in the youth, we realised that the truth needs to be revealed. What happened, why did it happen and what was done about it? Only then can true healing begin and stronger threads of family values be woven into the fabric of our society.

After one particular television interview, an enraged woman claimed that the producer and I had no idea about the struggles faced by mothers and I have subsequently realised that anger is a stumbling block to real progress. As humans, we tend to make decisions based on opinion and not fact. Our perception is our reality.

All the seminars and workshops addressing absent fathers will not change the mindset of those with deep-seated anger.

One of first battles in our war is working on emotional well-being and the subconscious.

Deconstructing the emotionally charged mindset and constructing new perceptions is a priority because it is difficult to forgive what you don’t understand. This begins with fewer family secrets, greater transparency and the willingness to work through the pain to achieve a state of peace. Forgiveness in society begins with forgiveness in the family and this is one of the first steps in building a nation of fathers!

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M&P|parents with pizzazz What parenting methods do you emulate from elders in your family?

There were always family meetings back in the day, where the elders discussed weighty family matters. With all the technology available today family meetings have been reduced to WhatsApp messages and the odd phone call. We have family meetings with our kids, as small as they are, to teach them how to resolve issues through communication and to estabish a common understanding with those you are in relationship with.

Who is your biggest insipiration? Describe the influence they’ve had on you.

Without a doubt, the biggest inspiration in my life is my mother.

She took herself through university, graduated and became a teacher. She has since done postgraduate studies in education and is a Director in the Eastern Cape Department of Education at a district level. Her investment in herself as a woman raised our standard of living, drastically improved our education and career prospects, and introduced us to a whole new world. Education is very important to me because I have seen in my own mother how it can change your world.

Independent Public Health Consultant Describe any family tradition that you particularly enjoyed as a child?

My father was somewhat of a professional photographer with his Nikon camera and he would take us to the zoo where we would happily pose for pictures. I still have a full photographic record of youth and that is a tradition that I have kept. Everything about my children is immortalised in photos.

How has parenthood affected you and your partner?

We have grown closer. It’s an incredible blessing to be entrusted with a young heart and mind to shape and influence, so we don’t take it lightly. We plan everything concerning our kids together and are resolute to demonstrate to them what a happy and loving family looks like. Children tend to emulate what they see, and being close to each other as parents is one of the best gifts we can give to them.

What is your ‘parenting’ mantra/motto this year?

Be present. Children don’t want our things, they want us.

When we become unavailable emotionally and otherwise, they find substitutes to fill in the emptiness they feel. I am determined to be an integral part of their lives, to play with them, do homework with them and watch Minions and Frozen with them.

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What values do you want to instill in your children?

Knowing God for themselves. When you find faith you find an all-inclusive package of discipline, patience, integrity, love and self-control. Believing in God has worked for us and we are actively passing on our faith on to our children. The day my children serve God because they want to and not because we said so, will be the most rewarding day for us as parents.

How do you ensure that your family lives a healthy lifestyle?

We do annual health assessments as a rule. We also participate in the annual family runs and we are looking to do more family sports activities this year. We are also very conscious of our diet and always include healthy eating options in our weekly menu.

RAPID FIRE Favourite song? Giants Fall by Francesca Batisttelli Favourite gadget? My Nikon Coolpix p530 camera Favourite getaway spot? My parent’s lakehouse.

Favourite fragrance? L’acquarossa Elixir by Fendi

COMPILED BY THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGE: NOTHEMBA KULA.

NOTHEMBA KULA

What does your family do on a typical Sunday afternoon?

We are devoted Christians so Sundays are really about church and family. Church is more than just the music or the traditions; it’s about sharpening our minds and hearts for effective living. After church, we eat Sunday lunch at the dinner table as often as possible and have an afternoon swim. We love entertaining and Sunday is the perfect time to connect with those close to us.

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2016/02/03 5:46 PM

M&P|cancer column

HEAD TRAUMA & BRAIN TUMOURS Is there a connection?

Head trauma is a known risk factor for brain tumours around the world, with five percent of people suffering from very serious brain injuries each year, either in an accident or from bumping theirs heads. Zoleka Mandela digs a little deeper into the issue as we shine the spotlight on World Head Injury Awareness Day.

TREATMENT FOR TUMOURS ON THE BRAIN Brain tumours cause serious damage because they exert pressure on the usual parts of the brain or they can disperse into those very same areas. Benign brain tumours may be non-cancerous, but they can cause serious health problems as they negatively impact on the cells around them by causing inflammation and specifically applying increased pressure on the tissue underneath, as well as inside and around the skull.

Brain tumours can be treated through brain surgery, steroid therapy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, complementary and alternative therapies. Brain cancer seldom spreads to other organs, but progresses to other parts of the brain and central nervous system.

SYMPTOMS OF A POSSIBLE TUMOUR Headaches are usually the first symptom of a brain tumour that causes brain injury by invading the spaces of the brain and causing direct damage to it. Other symptoms encompass the following: 1. Difficulty remembering words or speaking.

2. A loss of balance.

3. Nausea and vomiting.

4. Having disturbed vision, hearing, smell or taste.

5. A weakness or paralyses somewhere in the body.

6. Severe or mild seizures.

7. Drowsiness, a change in personality and general irritability.

Very few studies have shown a possible link between serious head trauma and brain tumours, where some people have developed a tumour at the site of a previous brain injury, marking the onset of a condition called glioma, a malignant tumour of the glial tissue belonging to the nervous system.

A report conducted by the International Journal of Medical Sciences in 2010 describes a brain glioma in a 45-year-old patient who suffered a head injury caused by a road accident prior to his diagnosis, showed that the glioma had developed in the scar of the old (brain) injury.

Albeit the evident association between head trauma and brain tumours, on some occasions brain tumours were caused by other malignant tumours in other parts of the body that had spread directly to the brain. While there is no way of preventing brain cancer, there are as many as 70 percent of known causes of cancers that are said to be avoidable and coupled with the awareness of adopting a much healthier lifestyle, research into the actual causes of brain tumours continues.

IMAGE: IMGKID.COM.

elebrated in March, World Head Injury Awareness Day is a reminder of how we can prevent head injuries or trauma, considered to be anything from a mild bump on the head to a more severe brain injury.

Approximately 89 000 cases of new traumatic brain injuries are said to be reported every year in South Africa alone – three of the most common causes of head injuries being violence, motor vehicles, bicycle or vehicle-pedestrian accidents. There are two types of brain tumours which are the most important in this regard:  Malignant (cancerous) affect adults and are one of the few cancers that occur in children.  Benign (not cancerous) tumours are caused by the formation of abnormal cells in the brain, which produce symptoms that differ depending on which part of the brain is concerned.

Although the cause of some tumours is unknown, they grow gradually and through observation, they may not necessarily need additional intervention.

This column is dedicated to the late Feziwe Radebe, the courageous cancer fighter who died in October 2008.

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M&P|social scene

NOKUBONGA MBANGA, PUMZA TSELANE, YOLANDA MPAKO, SIYASANGA MAKAMBA

UNATHI SINGATHA, ZANELE MAKAMBA, ZIMASA MHLONGO, TUTULA GCAGCA

HELLO BABY! There is always excitement around the arrival of a new baby and Pumza Tselane and her husband, Terry, were keen to share the experience with their friends and family in the best possible ways.

PENNY SEGONE AND BONGI MZAMANE

SIYASANGA MAKAMBA, PUMZA TSELANE AND SON MMUELEDI TSELANE

WORDS: WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU, PUMZA TSELANE. PHOTOGRAPHER: ADRIANN CRUYWAGEN.

AN ENCHANTED BABY SHOWER Having friends in the right places comes in handy sometimes – Pumza Tselane can vouch for this! Her close friend, Bongi Mzamane, is the founder and managing director of SJ Concepts, an event management company that specialises in private events, weddings and corporate events – and the perfect person to plan an enchanting baby shower. Knowing the mother-to-be on a personal level made the job more easy and fun for Bongi.

The concept ‘enchanted’ is an enthralling one with an element of delight, and this theme was inspired by Pumza’s elegance. Bongi chose a yellow and white colour scheme to represent happiness and friendship, with a touch of innocence and safety – the perfect combination for a baby shower. This is the ambience you want when you are about to usher a baby into this world.

LEIGH ANN FOSTER, DANIELLE MARTIN, YOLANDA MPAKO, BONGI MZAMANE

PUMZA TSELANE, SIYASANGA MAKAMBA, UNATHI SINGATHA

LEIGH ANN FOSTER, BONGI MZAMANE, DANIELLE MARTIN

PENNY SEGONE

THE GUESTS

UNATHI NDOBENI, PUMZA TSELANE

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M&P|special needs

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LINDA-JANE DU TOIT WITH KAYLA-ANN

M&P|special needs Hearing that the baby you are carrying will be born with Down syndrome can be a bitter pill to swallow. Nicky Manson talks to Linda-Jane Du Toit and her husband, who embraced their daughter’s difference and encourage parents to think twice before considering the alternative – medical termination. own syndrome (DS) is a genetic condition caused by an abnormality and excess in one’s genetic material. It can affect anyone regardless of race, nationality, socioeconomic status, and religion. According to Down Syndrome South Africa (DSSA) statistics reveal that about one in every 600 babies born in developing countries and one in every 1 000 born in developed countries has Down syndrome. In South Africa it is roughly one in every 500. Research has shown that if a mother is 35 years or older, the risk of having a child with Down syndrome increases.

Down syndrome can be detected during pregnancy through a series of tests: maternal blood screenings can be performed from 15 to 20 weeks of pregnancy but are only 60 percent accurate; an amniocentesis (where amniotic fluid is collected for a chromosome analysis) is performed at the 15th or 16th week and is considered 98 percent accurate. There is a small risk of miscarriage with this procedure.

If Down syndrome is present, counselling is advised. According to SA law, following a confirmed prenatal diagnosis of DS, the pregnancy may be terminated up until a gestation of 24 weeks. There are a number of different types of DS, some being hereditary and some not.

Trisomy 21 is the most common. It is not hereditary and therefore it is unlikely for a second child to inherit it. It occurs when the two number 21 chromosomes fail to separate and both instead of one become incorporated into either the egg cell or the sperm. This cell then has 24 chromosomes instead of the normal 23.

FATHER, GERHARD, WITH KAYLA-ANN

“I once read someone say that having a baby with Down syndrome is like winning the baby lottery.

Our baby is such a joy and parenting her has been way easier than we were expecting.”

Down syndrome is characterised by typical features that may include eyes that slant upwards; a small nose with a broad, flat bridge; a small mouth which makes the tongue appear large; short hands and fingers and a slightly flattened appearance of the back of the head. More serious features may include poor muscle tone; heart, eye and hearing defects, and developmental delays. Children affected with DS can vary enormously in appearance, temperament and ability. It is therefore important to also confirm the diagnosis by means of a chromosome analysis.

BEYOND THE DIAGNOSIS Linda-Jane Du Toit (28) and her husband Gerhard (30) had a birth diagnosis when

their daughter, Kayla-Ann, was born on 8 September 2015. This means that they only discovered their daughter had Down syndrome a few hours after she was born.

“Our story is unique,” Linda-Jane explains, “in that we did do screening tests but they gave a false negative result. We had heard of false positives for Down syndrome screening tests but not false negatives.” She adds, “Since the screening tests were negative we never considered that our baby might have Down syndrome and we were caught completely off guard.”

When asked how the doctor diagnosed their daughter, Linda-Jane explains that when there several of the characterists for DS present, the paediatrician will recommend M a m a s & Pa p a s

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M&P|special needs a blood test to confirm whether or not the baby has an extra chromosome. In the Du Toit’s case, their daughter has a single palmar crease on her hands, low muscle tone, almond-shaped eyes and a sandal gap, all common characteristics of DS. The initial shock was devastating, Linda-Jane admits, and recalls that the first night she felt as if she was on the biggest emotional roller coaster of her life. All the while, she says she felt the strong, reassuring presence of God, as if He was telling her that He has a plan for their daughter. Despite the disbelief, anger, hopelessness, sadness and sense of injustice she has felt, knowing that much of the full impact of the diagnosis will only be felt as her daughter grows older, Linda-Jane also admits to experiencing so much joy and love with her baby girl.

The hospital arranged for the couple to seek counselling with a paediatrician that specialises in genetics and although difficult, it started their process of acceptance. Linda-Jane explains how they were thankful that they were not aware of their daughter’s diagnosis earlier so that they did not have to face the pressure of a possible medical termination. She feels blessed that their daughter is healthy, and although it took a few weeks to get the breastfeeding going smoothly, their baby doesn’t display any of the other typical medical concerns at this stage. Her low muscle tone means she requires a little extra support, but Linda-Jane describes her as such a busybody that she was rolling onto her tummy as early as three weeks.

Understanding that babies with DS have unique growth charts because their development is slower, Linda-Jane chooses to view it as a money-saver, as her baby clothes can last that much longer!

KAYLA-ANN DU TOIT – THREE TO SIX WEEKS

WINNING THE BABY LOTTERY

PHOTOGRAPHER: ERIKA VENTER.

Linda-Jane once read having a DS baby described as ‘winning the baby lottery’. And she agrees as she describes their parenting journey thus far as being a joyful one and easier than they had anticipated. The Du Toits understand that their journey has become easier as they have adjusted to the circumstances, and this started with grieving and acceptance. This enables parents to embrace the path they are on and face a new future. While she admits to feeling guilt at the beginning, Linda-Jane reminds parents that your DS child still has your genetic makeup and there are excellent support groups like the DSSA that can walk parents through the process. “What I have shared is my experience and this will differ from person to person,” Linda-Jane adds, “and no family’s experience is the same. Our story in many ways is just beginning and I am sure my understanding of Down syndrome will still change as our daughter grows. It is an exciting journey that lies ahead with much for us to learn.

The Down Syndrome South Africa (DSSA) is a non-profit organisation which acts as a parent advocacy organisation and lobby group for the constitutional rights of persons with Down syndrome and other intellectual disabilities.

Contact them on 0861 369 672 or email dssaoffice@icon.co.za

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KAYLA-ANN DU TOIT – FOUR TO SIX MONTHS

M&P|exercise

elly breathing, or diaphragmatic breathing is a great calming breathing exercise that employs a natural state of breathing using the diaphragm or large muscle in our abdomen. Everyone will benefit from learning to breathe from the belly, but these exercises can be especially helpful to children who have difficulty with anger management, anxiety and attention difficulties (ADHD).

Proper deep breathing ‘tricks’ the body into thinking it is in a calm state, and as such the heart rate will slow down.

HOW BREATHING WORKS Breathing involves drawing air in through the nose and breathing it out through the nose again. Lie down on the floor with your child and show them what it looks like when you take shallow breaths and deep breaths.

Shallow breathing occurs when you see the only chest rise when you breathe in.

When deep breathing, we employ the phrase ‘in through the nose, out through the mouth’ and the belly and chest cavity will expand.

BENEFITS OF BELLY BREATHING

IMAGES: ITUNES, ©ISTOCK.COM.

Proper deep breathing has the following benefits for any person:  Replaces the body’s fight or flight response in times of stress.  Provides the body with energy as more nutrient-rich blood is delivered to cells throughout the body.  The increased blood flow helps to dispose of cell waste materials more efficiently.  Deep breathing is a free way to help manage stress.

CHILDREN LEARN THROUGH FUN Children as young as three can practise belly breathing and a good time to start is at bedtime. Try any of following activities that the whole family can do together.

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KEEP CALM AND BREATHE! Teaching deep breathing techniques to children is important so that they can soothe themselves in times of panic or anxiety.

1. Be a snorkeller If your tot has difficulty breathing slowly, have them breathe in and out through a straw. This restricts airflow and automatically slows their breathing down.

2. Blowing a pinwheel Give your child a colourful pinwheel on a stick and have them take a deep breath (slow and deep) to get the pinwheel to move quickly. They must hold their breath for the count of two and then release to see the colours mix into one.

Repeat three times.

3. Candle and flower For older children, have a flower and a candle ready. Have the child take a deep breath through their nose, as if smelling the flower. These are good feelings. Hold the breath for the count of two. Release the breath by blowing out the candle. These are the bad feelings they are letting go of. Repeat three times.

APPS TO HELP CHILDREN WITH THEIR BREATHING My First Yoga Free from iTunes The poses are cute, simple and provide easy step-by-step directions to follow. Do just one or all of them, it is easy to chose.

The peacock pose is one example. The fun animals can join you as your children relax and focus in the moment.

Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame Free from iTunes Kids learn important life strategies while having fun with familiar Sesame Street characters. While waiting for a turn on a slide, for example, kids learn they might sing a song, count items around them, or ask a grown-up for help.

The parent section includes even more tips for helping kids develop resilience by giving them tools to solve problems.

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M&P|recipes

L s I e e k r k u e t r l ! u C l a c o L hese recipes, which were used to t n i n w sed do s a k some of southern Africa’s o p o c o s t i w ders school ho easy-to-make recipes in your hom l e e e f th ners in s. Try these o y l m i m e a a f l . s m nutritiou ar od d o e n o l f a d e s g s wi youn igenou holesom e Th ach d ind for a w te ove l ste b

MUROHO WA THANGA (VENDA) Pumpkin Leaves Ingredients 2 tbsp. butter 1 star aniseed 1 large or 2 small onions 100 ml water 1 bunch of pumpkin leaves

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2 medium tomatoes, cubed Salt and pepper to taste Method Melt butter in a medium-sized pot; add the aniseed and sautĂŠ the onions. Add water and pumpkin leaves to the onions. Cover the pot and simmer until the leaves are soft. Add the tomatoes and salt and pepper to taste. Simmer for 5 minutes. Serve hot as a relish.

2016/02/03 6:26 PM

M&P|recipes LAMB AND GREEN BEAN POTJIE (KHOISAN)Ingredients 2 tbsp. oil 1 medium onion, chopped 1 kg lamb, stewing meat 250 ml water 3 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed 300 g green beans Salt and pepper to taste Method Heat the oil in a medium-sized pot. Add the chopped onion and fry until soft and caramelised. Add meat and cook until tender and golden brown in colour, stirring occasionally.

Allow meat juices to evaporate and fry for 5 minutes. Add water and cook further until the meat is well cooked. Add potatoes and green beans; cook until the vegetables are slightly soft, adding more water if required. Add salt and pepper to taste; stir thoroughly. Cover pot with a lid and cook for 10 to 15 minutes. Serve with a starch of your choice.

AMADUMBE (ZULU) Madumbi / African Potato Ingredients 4 medium madumbis ½ litre water 2 tablespoons oil Salt and pepper Method Wash the madumbis thoroughly under running water and peel. Put in a medium-sized pot. Pour in the water and madumbis. Boil for 20 to 25 minutes or until soft. Remove from the heat and drain the excess water. Mix in the oil. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve with stew.

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M&P|recipes LAMB / OX LIVER (KHOISAN) Ingredients 2 tsp. plain flour 10 ml barbecue spice ½ tsp. dried sage 4 to 6 slices lamb / ox liver 25 g butter 2 medium onions, sliced Method Mix the dry ingredients (flour, barbecue spice and dried sage) together. Toss the liver slices in the flour mix. Heat the butter in a large frying pan. Add the onions and fry until they are golden. Add the liver and fry for 10 to 20 minutes, until cooked to your preference. Serve hot.

QHUMATANA (XHOSA) Sorghum and Beans Mixture Ingredients 400 ml water 230 g sugar beans 190 g yellow/white mealies 180 g sorghum Add salt and water to taste Method In a medium-sized pot, bring water to the boil. Add sugar beans, mealies and sorghum to the pot and simmer until soft and cooked. Add salt and pepper to taste and simmer for another 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve hot.

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M&P|recipes CUCUMBER AND BAKED BEAN SALAD (KHOISAN) Ingredients 1 medium cucumber, peeled and cubed 1 large tomato (or 2 medium tomatoes), cubed ½ medium onion, chopped 250 g baked beans 1 tbsp. oil 50 g vinegar 1 tsp. sugar Green chilies, chopped (optional) Salt to taste

RECIPES AND IMAGES USED WITH PERMISSION OF INDIZA FOODS, EARTHAFRICACURIO.COM.

Method Mix the cucumber, tomato and onion together in a mixing bowl. Add the baked beans to the vegetable mixture. Add the oil, vinegar, salt and sugar. Mix well and serve as desired. Add the chopped chilies if desired.

Authors of A Culinary Journey of South African Indigenous Foods present their collection of these many more recipes of indigenous foods prepared by generations of women to commercialise and promote South African indigenous foods, in partnership with the Department of Arts and Culture and Department of Basic Education. Available at Exclusive Books and all good book stores.

(Published by Modjadji Books, 2015)

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M&P|motoring

UTILITY WITH A TOUCH OF OFF-ROAD CAPABILITY It seems that everyone wants one these days, and it’s easy to see the appeal, says Melissa Jane Cook. Crossovers combine the efficiency of an SUV and the comfort of a car, and have become a great mix of functionality, style and power. crossover, or a crossover SUV as they’re sometimes called, is a vehicle with the body and space of an SUV, but the underpinnings of a car. While the crossover vehicles released in the early-2000s resembled traditional SUVs or wagons, others have prioritised sportiness over utility. There is a broad spectrum of crossovers including mini crossovers, compact crossovers, mid-sized crossovers and full-sized crossovers. All-wheel-drive capabilities can vary greatly between each crossover, just like their pricing, size, towing capabilities and cargo room.

Some are expensive and refined; others are a little more homely, some catapult with phenomenal speed and others have the power of the Hulk.

IT’S GOT YOUR NAME ON IT These all-round, versatile family cars provide plenty of space for all of your passengers and cargo.

A crossover offers a roomy boot that is perfectly equipped to handle large and bulky items and if you are the type of driver who likes to take off on weekend adventures, this is a great right choice.

Fantastic fuel economy figures come with a suite of great active and passive safety features. The carbased platforms help make crossovers much more manoeuverable in the city and in awkward parking lots. Crossovers also tend to have smoother rides and better handling than many SUVs. Crossovers offer a stable, easier drive as the suspensions are designed to soak up road imperfections and allow for smooth handling resulting in a quiet and comfortable drive. The SUV-style bodies give them extra length and space for passengers, and some of them can cater for as many as seven people in three rows.

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2016 HONDA CR-V If you’re shopping for a compact SUV, the 2016 Honda CR-V remains one of your best bets, offering a lot of functionality at an attractive price. It gives a commanding view of the road, thanks to the elevated ride height, and can easily accommodate four occupants and their luggage. The engine is typically small and modestly powered, but fuel-efficient, and the spacious, feature-packed cabin and ample cargo space outweigh the minor disappointment that the CR-V doesn't offer a more powerful engine.

Comes standard with antilock brakes, stability and traction control, frontseat side airbags, side curtain airbags and a rearview camera. This nifty number offers exceptional fuel economy, self-folding rear seats, appealing technology and safety features.

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M&P|motoring 2016 VOLKSWAGEN TOUAREG The new Volkswagen Touareg is either a bargain-priced luxury SUV or a really expensive midsize family-crossover SUV. Actually, it’s both!

The Touareg features an impressive list of standard and available safety features, including recently added adaptive cruise control and lane-keep assist. The tastefully appointed interior has a clean and restrained design that’s carefully assembled with excellent materials. Every 2016 Volkswagen Touareg comes standard with antilock disc brakes, traction and stability control, front side airbags, full-length side curtain airbags and post-collision automatic braking to ensure it remains in place following a crash.

2016 MAZDA CX-3

WORDS: MELISSA JANE COOK. IMAGES: QUICKPIC, CARSCOOPS.COM, CAR.FOODDESIGNS.NET.

Stylish, nimble and well equipped, the new Mazda CX-3 is a standout among subcompact crossover SUVs, with thrifty fuel economy, sporty handling, quiet at speed, and attractive, high-quality interior with appealing features. The subcompact crossover SUV combines the manoeuverability of a small hatchback with the extra height of a crossover. It also features available all-wheel drive, Mazda’s trademark sporty handling and a stylish, well-equipped cabin with a standard touchscreen interface. Comes standard with antilock brakes, stability and traction control, front side airbags, side curtain airbags and a rearview camera. The front seats deliver outstanding comfort for this segment, with pleasantly firm support for long hauls and ample lateral bolstering for spirited drives.

2016 FORD KUGA A favourite crossover vehicle thanks to athletic driving dynamics, an inviting interior and advanced technology features, the compact turbo-charged crossover SUVs are suitable for going to work, taking your kids to school, loading up shopping or a trip to the beach. The Kuga earns its crossover stripes with optional all-wheel drive, respectable fuel economy, spacious boot and an available hands-free power liftgate with a super-cool foot sensor. Antilock disc brakes, traction and stability control, frontseat side airbags, driver knee airbag and full-length side curtain airbags are standard features, along with Ford’s MyKey (enabling owners to set electronic parameters for younger drivers), a rearview camera and blind-spot mirrors. Inside you’ll find plenty soft-touch materials and a generally impressive fit and finish, although there’s not as much storage space for personal items as you might expect.

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M&P|travel

SUN CITY

HAPPY HOLIDAY MEMORIES Make holidays with the kids less like a chore and more like a celebration with these tips from World Leisure Travel.

SUN CITY

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actoring your child’s needs into your travel plans involves organisation and forward thinking. Fortunately, there are several family-friendly holiday destinations and resorts in South Africa that can take the stress out of family holidays and allow you the relaxation you deserve.

Consider the following when planning your next family escape:

2. GIVE THE KIDS A CAMERA

1. TIME MANAGEMENT

Do your research before you make the trip and pack according to the climate of your destination. Be prepared for the weather and the terrain – whether its jackets and boots or shorts and flip-flops, everyone will be happier if they are appropriately dressed

Toddlers love to explore and don’t care for the time pressures of travel. The greatest holiday treat you can give everyone in the family is to keep your cool and factor in the faffing, gawping, stalling, and toilet stops.

Children love to mimic their parents, so give yours their own robust, childfriendly camera and encourage them to observe their surroundings and focus on what interests them. You might be surprised at the results from their kneehigh view.

3. BE PREPARED FOR THE CLIMATE

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for the occasion. Remember to protect everyone’s skin from South Africa’s harsh elements and insist that everyone wears sunscreen and a hat.

4. TECH-SAVVY PARENTS Gone are the days of cramming as many toys as possible into the boot of the car or into a carry-on bag for your flight. A smart phone or tablet offers a world of apps and games with incredible graphics that can keep your child entertained for hours. To ensure balanced child development, carry a book or two along with a magic scribbler and you have the entertainment portion of the travelling sorted.

GARDEN COURT SOUTH BEACH

COMPILED BY TRACY MAHER. SOURCE: MELANIE MILLIN-MOORE PUBLIC RELATIONS. IMAGES: BLACKBOOK EVENTS & PR, THE MAIL ROOM PR

5. TRY OUT THE PUBLIC TRANSPORT Young children love the novelty of travelling by train, plane, bus or boat, so try to incorporate these elements into your holiday and you will be sure to draw a few smiles and giggles.

6. INVEST IN A CHILD LOCATOR Again, technology comes to a parent’s rescue. Forget the leashes and strap a child locator around your child’s waist or shoe, or even around their wrist. This small unit will set off an alarm if your child wanders off, allowing you to locate them in busy airports, train stations or crowded malls and tourist attractions.

7. KEEP BUGS AT BAY Whether you’re travelling to the Kruger National Park or out of the country to Zanzibar or Mozambique, you need to ensure that your family remains healthy.

Always confirm with your doctor what health precautions need to be taken, such as malaria medication or immunisation against yellow fever. Even if you are travelling close to home, make sure that your first aid kit is well stocked with basic items like bandages, antihistamines, antiseptic cream, pain and fever medication and burn dressings.

RIVERSIDE SUN EXTERIOR

8. AVOID SWEETS They will beg you, but resist the temptation to feed your children sweets on long journey – you will only regret it! Rather pack a mixture of savoury snacks like cheese cubes, breadsticks, fruit, wholegrain bread rolls and trail mix. You don’t want to arrive at your destination at night with your children in the throes of a sugar rush.

9. ENCOURAGE THEM TO KEEP A TRAVEL JOURNAL Encourage your older children to keep a travel diary (along with their photos) where they make a list of the exciting things they did and saw, the new foods they ate and the places they went to. This can be done on the computer in blog form, and may encourage them to try out more activities than they usually would have. It can also be shared with their teacher and classmates when they return to school.

10. PASSPORT CHECK Children’s passports only last five years and important documents have a habit of being

RIVERSIDE SUN EXTERIOR

stored in safe places, so safe that they can never be found when you need them! Allow at least four weeks to renew passports and make sure that you are up to date with South Africa’s travel laws when it comes to visas. In South Africa, new regulations state that it is compulsory that parents travelling in and out of the country with children have their children’s unabridged birth certificate, as well as a valid passport. If you are one parent travelling with the children, you have to have written consent from the other parent in addition to the passports and unabridged birth certificates. You can apply for an unabridged birth certificate at your nearest Home Affairs office.

Planning a family holiday – especially with little ones – can take a bit of extra thought, but the end result is the opportunity to make memories and strengthen family bonds. Go on and book your next vacation today!

M a m a s & Pa p a s

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2016/02/03 6:22 PM

M&P|reviews THE BEST POCKET GUIDE EVER FOR FAMILY FINANCES

Germarie Bruwer & Margaux Tait R220 (Penguin Random House) As the authors say: “Trends come and go, but you have to live in your home, so make it a comfortable space that can grow and change with you.” From beginners to those with more advanced skills, there are ideas to brighten and enliven your home and outdoor spaces – all showcased via beautiful photography, concise instructions and an appealing design.

BABY MASSAGE 101 iTunes R 139.99

PREGNANCY ++ iTunes R 54.99

Skin-to-skin contact is known to help a baby get off a great start in their early development, and massage is a wonderful gateway for you and your child to communicate and bond through that contact. Baby Massage 101 is an extensive workshop that explores the basics of therapeutic massage techniques gently designed for babies. Version 1.0 features over 30 HD tutorial videos of demonstration, covering baby massage from head to toe.

Join five million users who already use this app to see how their baby is and should be developing as the pregnancy progresses.

Pregnancy ++ was created by Health & Parenting, together with leading healthcare professionals, and provides you with weekly updates that you can share with your overwhelmed partner.

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SUBWAY SURFER iTunes & Android Free This is one game that will be enjoyed by the whole family. Collect coins, try not to trip or get hit by oncoming trains, get your mystery box and complete the daily challenge. You can also ask your friends for help or you can challenge them. So go ahead and join the most daring chase!

IMAGES: PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE, ITUNES, GOOGLE PLAY STORE, WWW.EMOJISTICKERS.COM3.

MAKE YOUR HOME

Jillian Howard R110 (Penguim Random House) If you want to marry or cohabit, have children (and provide them with a good education), build wealth and, finally, retire successfully, this book shows you how it can be done. It also sets out the financial implications of divorce and separation and how to overcome them, guides you through the financial jargon when a spouse or partner should die, and explains how to avoid any financial hardship that can so easily follow. A must-read for anyone who is married or planning to get married, or cohabiting in a longterm relationship.

M a m a s & Pa p a s

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2016/02/03 6:21 PM

MOM AND DAD WITH BABY LUTHANDO DIKGANG

FOR THE LOVE OF MEAT

DADʼS NAPPY BRAAI

ALUTA SAUNDERS, THABO SERETSE, BONGI MZAMANE AND THEMBA

PREPARING THE DRINKS

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. PHOTOGRAPHER: CHRISTS STREVER.

Fathers want to be more hands-on nowadays, and this includes joining in on the celebrations. A nappy braai is the perfect way for men to share tips with the dad-to-be!

Ddevoted husband and father, Terry Tselane (Deputy Chairperson of the IEC) believes he has come up with the perfect solution to the male version of a baby shower is a nappy braai.

“Nappy duty is heavy work and it needs a man!” he says, adding, “Raising a child is a huge responsibility. How about we use our ‘muscles’ in a reliable, but tender way? Don’t leave everything to the mother or your partner. You have to find a way to be involved, so how about taking over nappy duty?”

Tselane and Pumza had ample time to plan this pregnancy, so when the pregnancy test came back positive, it was ‘go’ time. As the women started making plans for a baby shower, the daddy-to-be sat down with his friends and started bouncing ideas of having a similar celebration – with a manly touch, of course. And so the Nappy Braai concept was born.

According to Tselane, men like simple things and planning a baby shower comes with a lot of admin regarding selecting a theme, colours, food, gifts, games, etc. But a nappy braai, on the other hand, simply requires the father-to-be to be present and the guests to bring a lot of nappies to bless him. The men then enjoy braaiing their meat and drinking a beverage, while imparting words of wisdom and advice to encourage the father-to-be. And if you’re an eager dad like Tselane, you’d better have your camera and selfie-stick ready to capture every moment. What better way to get dads involved in nappy changes, right?

NEVER MISS A SELFIE MOMENT

ALUTA SAUNDERS AND BONGI MZAMANE

Nappy Braai.indd 95

UNARINE MOKOENA

PALAI SEGONE, LUCKY KWELE, LAWRENCE TSIPANE, THABO SERETSE AND MPHO MOTHABO

TERRY TSELANE AND KHOTSO KHASU

FOREVER THANKFUL

PUMZA TSELANE WITH BABY LUTHANDO DIKGANG TSELANE, BONGI MZAMANE, AND TERRY TSELANE

STANDING: PALAI SEGONE, LUCKY KWELE, TERRY TSELANE, KHOTSO KHASU, LAWRENCE TSIPANE, SIPHO MBELE. SITTING: THABO SERETSE, MPHO MOTHAPO, ALUTA SAUNDERS

WHAT'S A BRAAI WITHOUT SOME SNACKS?

LUCKY KWELE AND TERRY TSELANE

2016/02/03 6:21 PM

ESSAYS A WOMAN’S JOURNEY

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Stockist Page.indd 96

2016/02/03 6:18 PM

Ads.indd 12

2016/02/03 9:30 AM

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2016/02/03 9:30 AM