The Mock Turtle - No. 15

M O C K TURTLE APRIL

1952

THE MOCK TURTLE A

R e v ie w and

o f th e

Thought

L if e ,

H u m o u r of

H u d d e rs fie ld

F e c lu n ic a l C o lle g e

CHARLES RECORD

E d ito r:

Assistant Editors :

MARGARET COXi

E. P. SHEPPARD

Business Manager: P. R. LIGHTBODY

‘

‘

Sales :

GRACE JUBB J, WALTON

Advertisements :

NORMAN HINCHLIFFE

T h e r e' s a and

he's

Purpose treading

NUMBER FIFTEEN.

just on

behind my

me,

tail."

APRIL, 1932.

TO STUDENTS AND OLD STUDENTS.

THE NEW HUDDERSFIELD TECHNICAL COLLEGE

BLAZERS A N D

BADGES

(also SPECIAL NECKTIES to match) ARE NOW READY AT

W ASHINGTON’S, THE OUTFITTERS, S,

C LO T H

H A LL

STREET

W ANTED! Men and Women Day and Evening Students, Soloists, Pianists, Violinists, ’Cellists, etc., willing to join Duet, Trio, Quartet and Quintette Parties, also Elocutionists, and ALL who are in­ terested in Music, Literature and Play Reading, to send in their names without delay to the Hon. Secretaries of the Literary and Musical Societies. It is hoped to hold a Second Recital in April.

Mary Roddy, Grace Jubb, Constance E. Armitage, or Mary H. Sykes.

COMING EVENTS. “ THE PASSING OF THE THIRD FLOOR BACK." (Jerome K. Jerome).

Tickets may be obtained from members of the Cast, and from the Library.

FOR THE REALLY BEST WATERPROOFS, RUBBER FOOTWEAR, IN FACT RUBBER FOR ANY PURPOSE,

E. HELLEWELL CARTER & CO., LTD. THE RUBBER STORES, 2, BUXTON ROAD.

A

P a i n f u l S >u

It must be taken as an absolutely rigorous principle that any pro­ position which is not supported by proofs is nothing more than an asser­ tion which may be true or may be false. It is only when a man brings proofs of his assertion that we say, your proposition is true.

— Jabir ibn Haiyan, in “ The Book of Balances.”

^HERE is no more urgent need to-day than the need for honest individual thinking. Modern civilisation has given us not only mass production of tin cans and “ tin lizzies/’ but mass-produced minds. If you doubt it listen to the views of the first stranger you meet—you will hear Fleet Street second-hand. Suggest an unorthdox view and you will inspire horror rather than an attempt to face it rationally. Even the pulpit, which might be ex­ pected to voice the views of a Christian community, when it speaks on public affairs is the voice of The Times or the Daily something, quite obviously.

The Great War was a revelation to the powers that be of the possibilities of mass production in minds as in other goods. It was found that the silliest calumnies of the enemy could be foisted on the public merely by repetition and elaboration. Few men should look back to their war-time mental pro­ cesses with feelings other than of shame. At the end of an earlier war Dr. Johnson wrote: “ I know not whether more is to be feared from streets filled with soldiers accustomed to plunder or from garrets filled with scribblers accustomed to lie.” We have learned to deal fairly well with the former, and the latter with us.

Thinking is almost an offence when it results in conclusions differing from the accepted ones. In most circles “ it isn’t done.” There is a wealth of tyranny in that phrase, although we fancy ourselves a tolerant generation.

Conform to the average and you are understood; you are “ a safe man.”

Whole classes dare not do otherwise in the smallest things of life. The respectable tradesman who appeared in pink pantaloons would get no trade.

The employee would be sacked. Diversity in dress would add to the bright­ ness of life, and might produce a well-merited contempt for anything so objectionable as present-day male costume; but the prophets of diversity must expect the fate of prophets. Men must dress all alike. It is custom, and custom is divine.

Unorthodox action in matters of so little moment being inadmissible, heterodox thinking is inadvisable; so the virtues of conformity are inculcated from birth up, and the parent punishes breach of custom with the severity meet for sin. The supremacy of our great public men is that they are supremely average. They say only just what everyone else would like to say. Them we naturally emulate.

In more important matters the same conditions hold. New ideas meet fossilised minds and concrete heads, and only win acceptance when almost obsolete. To take a vital instance: the world to-day is suffering from acute industrial depression and unemployment. Everyone who has informed him­ self and thought about it knows that the world’s power to produce is now so great that poverty is entirely unnecessary—our problem is one of abundance.

A Russian poster on the subject shows a British miner’s child before a fireless grate, with the legend:— 3

“ Why caii’t we have a fire, Mummy?” “ Daddy is out of work, and we can’t afford the coal.” “ Why is Daddy out of work?” “ Because there is too much coal.”

That sums up the position. When, despite acute want, more production means more poverty, it is obviously because there is no provision to assure that economic demand will keep pace with productivity; in other words there is a defect crying for remedy in our financial system. We are travelling 3rd class with 1st class tickets. In the scramble to avoid ruin to themselves, producers restrict production, wheat and coffee crops are burned, and fish thrown back into the sea. Yet all our prominent “ statesmen ” treat this problem of abundance as the age old problem of scarcity. A few thousand years ago Joseph advised Pharaoh to adopt a policy of economy. National and local authorities appear to have done no thinking since.

A helpful suggestion is made in Eimar O’Duffy’s beautiful book, “ King Goshawk and the Birds,” that public men—statesmen and the like—should be required at least once a year to put on their trousers in public, because this is an operation which no man can perform with dignity.

We might then learn that our idols have feet of clay, and be tempted to think for our­ selves.

It is a painful process at first. We are tolerant where we are indifferent; but it hurts to rethink the things which have roots in us. We have so many axioms; so many matters on which we refuse to think; on which unorthodoxy arouses anger or contempt. Analyse your loyalties—it hurts to find that what has been taken for granted is irrational or anti-social. Too often we strive in controversy for our prejudices rather than to discover the truth.

Beware of Things !’ says H. G. Wells. “ Before you know where you are you are waiting on them and minding them. They eat your life up, eat up your hours and your blood and your energy.” It is amazing how a little property enslaves the mind. When five per cent, of your income comes from property that five per cent, will probably mould your whole political outlook to its conservation.

It is less surprising that employers buy minds as well as service. We have, for instance, students in the College whose job is to sell gas and gas appliances. Some, at least, have actually convinced themselves that there is nothing to compare with gas for any purpose for which it is usable ! The phenomenon is familiar on the “ sales ” side of business. “ With the public, to repeat is to prove,” says Anatole France, and the repeater convinces himnnri T o o 6' * 1S- ^ ^ el,» however>if you sell your tongue for a living, to try q+ Plin<^ f°r yourself, though it may occasion discomfort. > lli r dn!!!nd nI " ' ! ! n y° “ngV. Fewf start la,er-. Things which have If aiot|nd one with age and respectability if you are a “ success.” .. Ah u. hfve. no *ln’e- And when old we avoid the call to think with— experience ^ ^ ^ V tc etc^’’38 ^°U m^se^ ; but wben you have my time When We reaCh that Stage we should be kindly “ bumped off.” It is —C. R. Scientific truth: you for courtesy.”

The theories in which you and I believe—and I include —A Distinguished Scientist.

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M ^ o n t.

EAR READERTH, I am thorry to thay that our compothing room wath entered lath night by thome unknown thcoundrel, who thtole every “ eth ” in the ethtablithment, and thucceeded in making hith ethcape undetected.

The motive of the mithcreant doubtleth wath revenge for thome thuppothed inthult.

It thall never be tliaid that the petty thpite of any thmall-thouled, big­ headed villain hath dithabled the “ Mock Turtle,” and if thith meet the eye of the detethtable rathcal, we beg to athure him that he underethtimateth the rethourtheth of a firtht clath magathine, when he thikth he can thpoil it hopelethly by breaking into our alphabeth. We take occathion to thay to him that before next Thurthday we thall have twithe ath many etheth ath he thtole.

V/e have reathon to thuthpect that we know the cowardly thkunk who committed thith act of vandalithm, and if he ith ever theen prowling about thith ethtablithment again, by day or by night, nothing will give uth more thatithfaction than to thoot hith hide full of holeth.

—JESWAL.

D

WIRELESS HINTS. If signals are weak owing to a poor aerial—get a better one.

A simple, but effective way of cutting out Pole Moor is to push in the switch.

Here is an exclusive way of removing interference from neighbouring electrical apparatus of any sort. First, find out where the electric light main enters the house (your house or anybody else’s ) ; then saw it off close to the ground. Next, melt a few pounds of scrap lead in your mother’s best saucepan, and when properly molten, invert the saucepan over the end of the cable protruding from the ground. All lights in the district will go out, and, with them, the interference will disappear.

A very economical way of running a wireless set is to erect an aerial just above an overhead power line, and allow it to sag in the middle until they touch, and then connect the input of your eliminator to it.

If you spill acid from an accumulator on your clothes or the carpet, soak in a mixture of strong sulphuric acid and aqua regia, and keep moistened with this for a week. Rub briskly with a hard brush, and the stain will be removed.

To get rid of old gramophone needles, tear out this page, and cut out the slot below.

Then hold the page over a drain, and drop your needles into the slot.

5

a rn iv a i m

B memos Aire s

o

NORMAN H. STUTTARD (An Old Student, now in Argentina).

S in many European countries, the annual Carnival takes place in the South American Republics just prior to Lent, when for three days everyone, except unfortunate employees of public services, waiters and servant-girls, takes a “ rest ” from his daily toil and makes merry.

Buenos Aires is essentially a city of club-life and, as is naturally ex­ pected, the greatest activity at Carnival time takes place in the clubs. Fancydress balls are held every night in the week, lasting well into the following morning.

This year, the brilliance of Carnival was spoilt to some extent by the financial crisis and the consequent shortage of money.

Owing to martial law still being in force since the Revolution of September 6th, 1930, the use of masks was prohibited, and the throwing of water (a favourite Carnival joke), as well as bad eggs and other “ solids,” was also banned by the Pro­ visional Government. All this tended to restrain the people from entering into the Carnival spirit.

In the Argentine, each municipality nominates a committee to foment interest, to carry out the necessary works of decoration and to make all arrangements for the “ courses.”

These are avenues or “ plazas,” beauti­ fully illuminated by thousands of fairy lights of every colour, making picturesque designs apparently hanging in space, for they are slung from the buildings or trees by wires. Along the “ courses,” placed at points of vantage, are wooden stands, gaily decorated with ribbons and flowers, in which stand the ladies and girls of the populace, looking very charming in their fancy dresses, watching the procession of decorated cars and comic bands merrily passing by.

On either side the public crane their necks to witness the spectacle, throwing paper streamers to the girls in the cars, who heartily reciprocate this favour. The entrance fee paid by the cars which enter the “ course ” and the people who have stands pays for the organisa­ tion, lighting, etc., after which there still remains a profit for the municipal authorities.

In a large city like Buenos Aires there are several official “ courses” held in the various districts, but the principal one takes place in the centre.

Along the promenade a brilliant unofficial “ course ” is held, where in the early hours of the evening one sees young children in their showy dresses, strutting up and down as proud as peacocks, or passing by in cars, throw­ ing “ streamers ” to their less fortunate comrades on foot.

The “ Avenida de Mayo,” the wide main avenue over a mile long, lined with trees, which runs from “ Plaza Mayo ” to the Congress Hall, amply lends itself for these “ courses.” The lights are stretched between the tall build­ ings, fine specimens of architecture, on either side of the Avenue. The stands are placed along the middle of the wide roadway, the procession passing up one side and down the other, turning round in the plaza at either end. At each cross-road are mounted police of the Capital on their fine horses, look­ ing smart in their blue-grey uniform and imposing with their swords and

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revolvers. The public fill every available seat around the small tables of the open-air cafes along the pavement, and take a glass of beer or a cup of coffee, which, in some cases, lasts the whole three hours from 9 p.m. until midnight while the “ course ” is in progress.

Already the girls, those charming “ senoritas ” world-renowned for their beauty, more exquisite than ever in their fancy dresses, are installed in the stands, and the cars begin to rush by, the front seats occupied by men, with more of the above-mentioned senoritas sitting gaily on the hood or on the, mud-guards, their lovely silk dresses and beautifully embroidered shawls of every hue trailing over the back.

Some are dressed in the Spanish style, with mantilla, shawl and fan; Italian girls are seen dressed completely in white silk “ a la milanesa.” We see representatives of China, Japan, Russia and many other nations; others dress simply to please, having on their head a black “ topper,” a wide-brimmed fancy hat, a head-dress of flowers, or ridiculously small head-gear.

From time to time pass cars representing ships, or decorated to adver­ tise some particular brand of beer or other commodity, although we see none of those fantastic creations so common in the French Carnival, nor yet any so beautiful as those of Venice. However, the bands formed by the youth of the populace are fantastic enough, with all kinds of weird instruments made from tin-cans and abandoned ironmongery.

The noise emanating from them is even worse than their appearance, resembling the death march of the infernal, which causes one to wonder if this craze for modern music is not radically wrong after all. Nevertheless, the primary object of the Car­ nival seems to be to make noise, and in this they excel. A party of rollerskaters flashes by, leaving the cars standing; they, however, are easily out­ stripped by members of the “ Flying Squad,” who are constantly patrolling the “ course ” on their roaring red “ Indians.” “ Streamers ” are everywhere ! Young and old throw them and catch the flying papers as they snake through the air. People on the balconies of flats overlooking the “ Avenue ” throw them down from above; below, the public are literally wading in a sea of spent streamers. The progress of the cars is impeded by the paper which collects around the axles and wheels and under the mud-guards, necessitating frequent stops to clear it away. In the streets branching off from the “ Avenue ” on both sides are huge carts, into which municipal workmen are busily loading the piles of paper which has been collected, reminding one of the familiar hay-making scene in England.

The night wears on; the scene becomes more animated and the people grow merrier in spite of the overwhelming heat and the heavy, damp atmosphere. The natural aspect of the Argentine is melancholy, but Carni­ val makes him merry in spite of himself; everyone is laughing and making jokes with each other. It is one of the few occasions when the women and girls enter into the life of the city. People spend money with rare abandon during these few days and the following Saturday and Sunday, when the “ courses ” continue. Glasses and “ nickel ” tinkle in unison with the glad shouts of the girls.

At last it is the hour of midnight; suddenly the lights go out and the1 “ course ” officially ends for the night. In spite of, or perhaps because of, the darkness, the people shout more lustily than ever, but soon they begin to drift away, the cars grow scarcer, and the scene of this recent activity is left to the care of the municipal scavengers.

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OW many of you have experienced the joys of frogging? Sitting quietly “ by the pond-side I just notice a pair of huge goggles almost level with — the water. Rising.from my grassy seat as cautiously as possible, I creep down to the pond-edge, net in hand, and with a rapid sweep, fish out tadpoles, waterweeds, .beetles, snails—everything but the frog.

Having emptied the net and stalked further round the pond, I spot a large, fat, frog sitting among the rushes on the very edge of the water, and just manage to net him before he dives headlong into the pond. Retracing my steps, I again sight the huge eyes a short distance from the edge. Balanc­ ing on a tuft of rushes, with a great effort I capture froggy, among other? material, but in the attempt my feet slip and into the pond I go among the' snails and other water inhabitants.

After a few .hours I prepare to go home, being as wet myself as any? amphibian ever was, pack the frogs with a little pondweed into tins, and sally forth. Having been dried a little in the air, I board a ’bus.

When all is quiet except the purr of the engine, my prisoners strike up the “ Frogs’ Chorus ” .in loud croaks; all heads are turned in my direction^ and the courteous gentleman sitting next to me kindly offers his seat to a lady standing by.

Arriving home the frogs are put into their allotted hut, where there is a dish kept well-filled with worms and other crawly creatures. After hopping round the hut a few times, searching in vain for escape, one cautiously advances to the worm dish, peers in, and then hops right into it among the worms, where it sits staring for some time. Suddenly froggy seizes a wonm* amidships and proceeds to push both ends of it into his mouth, using both front feet vigorously, blinking and gulping most awkwardly meantime. After a few minutes he opens his wide mouth, gives one huge gulp, blinks his eyes, and the worm has gone. When he has had his fill, he crawls? away to have a rest whilst other two frogs both advance slowly, all four eyes on the same worm.

They each grab an end, and a tug-of-war begins, the frogs pulling each other this way and that all over the cage, ther^ the worm snaps, and each frog gets his piece. Usually in such a tussle one frog succeeds in tugging the worm out of the other’s mouth, when he takes a considerable time to swallow it*— often the last bite is kept in his mouth for twenty minutes before finally being gulped down.

I find frogs make very entertaining pets, and usually they take readily to! captivity.

—IAN1RA. Y

COVER DESIGN. For the new cover design of the present issue, we are indebted to Mr. D. P. Carrington, of the School of Art. \o u must question all you hear, even from the most inspired teachers.

I want you to go about like animated question marks at the Prize Distri­ bution.—Mr. H. E. Bloor.

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A '* o o q "rr ' NO •Y '* ’*•

9

j

10*4

ed u catio n in tlie U .S.SoFL,

By VIOLET A. HYETT (King Alfred School, Hampstead).

Russia is to-day the w orld’s largest laboratory. In the social sciences experiment is going on, on a scale unparalleled elsewhere, and much is to be learnt by those who are willing to leam .

We therefore heartily welcome the following article.

The writer, form erly head mistress of a girl’s sec'ondary school, is now senior mistress of a pioneer type of school in this country, speaks Russian, has studied the educational system in the Russian schools, and was one of the organisers of the recent Russian Education Exhibition at the London University Union.— Ed.

VER one-sixth of the world’s face there is being worked out an ex­ periment which may best be described as the mobilisation of youth to recreate the world. The old have undeniably made a mess of things—from the young will come salvation. That is the common opiniom in the Union of Socialist Soviet Republics.

Purpose and plan are the hallmarks of U.S.S.R. Both sometimes get obliterated in the stress of trying to persuade a mediaeval peasantry to be thoroughly up to date, but they are never forgotten by the active forces which are out to build the new life—no “ muddling through ” for them. But though purpose and plan underlie the educational system there, it displays, 1 should think, less rigidity of organisation than in any state education system in the, world.

Freedom for experiment is not only conceded by authority, but actively encouraged, and the enthusiasm for experiment on the part of teachers was to me a perpetual source of wonder and admiration during the few months I spent in U.S.S.R. Hitherto, I had believed that the teaching profession (my own) was inevitably the most unenterprising in the world. In that, as in many other matters, whilst in Russia, I had to reconsider my judgment.

The magnitude of the task which the Soviet government has had to tackle in the cultural sphere can be gathered from the fact that a population of which only 33% were literate in 1917 are now over 75% literate, and that the num­ ber of children in secondary schools is times larger than that in Tsarist days. These figures do not deal with Russia alone, but with the whole Union, in which education is being carried on in 70 different languages, including those of many backward peoples.

The basic purpose of the educational—as well as all other plans in U.S.S.R. is the building of the Socialised State. The environment of the chil­ dren is planned so to develop the individual that he or she may become an efficient and enthusiastic co-operator in the work of the community. For this reason all schools are State schools. Private education can have no place! in the system.

The State institutional care for the child begins in the creches and nursery schools. These are not compulsory, but as since the inauguration of the Five Year Plan there has been a shortage of labour, and all jobs are open to women on equal terms with men; there has been a growing demand on the part off women for institutions where children can be properly cared for whilst mothers are at work. Every big factory now has to have a creche attached;/ Very delightful is the atmosphere in these, they are never too large to retain the spirit of spontaneity and individualism natural to the small child, and they

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seemed to me most successfully to hold the balance between a healthy routine and a stimulating freedom.

From eight years old the real school life begins. The Unified Labour School has a first grade four years’ course and usually a secondary course for either 3 or 5 years afterwards. It is “ unified,” not only because it makes no' break between the primary and secondary stages of the child’s life, but alsoj because it is the only school environment for all children without difference for class or sex. When the Revolution took place, co-education of the sexes was unknown in Russia. The revolutionists, determined, as in everything, to make a clean sweep of all bad olu ways—including the segregation of the sexes inf youth, bisected all existing boys’ and girls’ schools and put half of each with' the other. Only teachers will be able fully to comprehend how disconcerting was the situation with which the staffs were faced ! But, nine years later, ! found, out of the very many teachers with whom I talked, only one who was, inclined to criticise the workings of co-education, so completely has it estab­ lished itself as part of the fundamental principle of sex equality.

The curriculum does not differ widely from that of an English secondary school, except that there is a heavier bias on Science, in which the outline of a number of branches of the subject (always including Biology) is generally! preferred to intensive study of one or two. The content of History teaching differs completely. There is a brief survey of the main stages of civilisation^ but all intensive work is on the phases of the workers’ revolution against industrial capitalism. The standpoint is entirely international. Incidentally, I found much more detailed knowledge of items in English history (e.g. the' Chartist movement) than is usual amongst English teachers.

The methods of learning have more in common with our pioneer schools than with our orthodox education. Activity is the watchword. In the primary grades the Complex or Project method is in vogue. In this ‘ subjects ’ are not cut up into watertight compartments and allocated to ‘ periods ’ in a timetable, but a central theme is chosen, and all branches of knowledge and skill are exercised in connection with it. In the secondary grade, the Dalton or Labora­ tory plans are usually employed, the children following their own course of study in each subject in the Subject Laboratory, but instead of (as with us.)! the courses being individual, the children usually work in small groups, and produce a collective piece of work, in which they all co-operate. The subject matter of study in both primary and secondary schools is often the outcome of a school excursion. These are frequent, and take the form of visits to places of local interest, factories', museums (which abound in all cities) or even sometimes an expedition for several weeks to some distant place. I found a school in Leningrad where the children were working on material brought from Murmansk, some 1000 Km. distant, where they had gone on a school* excursion. Since the autumn of 1930 a new scheme, ‘ polytechnisation ’ of the schools has come into being. This is a reflection of the enthusiasm for pro* duction arising from the Five Year Plan. Under this every school is attached to a factory or group of factories in a town, or to a collective farm in the country. The children begin by paying regular visits to this productive enter­ prise and work in school on the material they collect there, e.g. doing arithP metical calculations on the amount of wheat produced per acre, or of milk per cow in proportion to the food it consumes, or geographical research into the origin of the raw materials of the factory. Later on they spend so many hours

a week at the farm or factory, not getting specialised skill at one job, but learning about all the processes in turn, and also studying the organisation’, labour conditions, etc. of the whole. The underlying idea is that every citizen shall, whatever his future vocation, be able to understand and share the oub-! look of the manual worker on whom the whole life of the community is based.

It tends to break down the “ white collar ” complex of bourgeois society. It is a further application of another underlying principle—that the schoof shall be closely linked with the actual life of the larger community and not be an exclusive little world of its own. The schools constantly undertake useful social and cultural work amongst the backward masses, supply helpers to teach reading to illiterates in workers’ clubs or village reading rooms and even undertake research into agricultural problems. I remember seeing in a school summer camp a boy of about 12 “ minding about half a dozen toddlers, and I was told he was taking his turn with the children of peasantwomen who were out in the fields—the camp having undertaken to organise a “ playground ” for the local peasantry during the summer months.

Another fundamental principle of Soviet schools is concerned with, discipline. All schools are self-governing—in the sense that the children share to a very large extent in organisation and responsibility. In this respect the school is the state in miniature a network of soviets with often a very complicated inter-relationship. Usually I found that every child was at least on one committee of his form, and always there have to be children on the School Soviet—the chief authority. I attended a meeting where teachers and the pupils of the top form (pupils in the majority) had to decide which mem­ bers of the form should receive their “ recommendation " to the University, without which they could not enter. The discussions were long and heated* and there wras no doubt about the sense of responsibility among the pupils.

The Communist youth organisations, October children. Pioneers and Young Communists are of course very active in the schools. Every schooh is bound to have its clubroom for this purpose, and though there is no com­ pulsion to join, there is often a great ambition to achieve a 100 per cent, membership, as has lately been done in some Ukrainian schools.

Higher educational institutions follow the same basic principles. There has been a great drive towards technical education since the Five Year Plan* began, and the number of Higher Schools has increased from 129 in 1928 to 481 in 1931, but the shortage of experts is still the critical point in all indus­ trialisation schemes. Prof. Tamm. Director of the Physics Research Institute in Moscow, who was in London last year, gave an interesting account of how7 the new spirit is transforming higher education.

The former lecture and demonstration methods are largely being superseded by the work of small groups of students under leadership of a student of a senior wear, who brings m “ieir results for discussion and criticism to the teacher.

These groups often work in competition with each other. Professor Tamm, who had worked at an English University, amused his audience bv comparing the tense fervour ot the students work under the competitive system with what he recollected ot tue ways of English undergraduates. “ Socialist competition " is of course a potent factor in industrial life in U.S.S.R. ™*-'re is a. w^°^e network of institutions, notablv the “ Workers’ acuities, designed to bring University education within reach of the workers who have not had a secondary school course. In 1928 54 per cent.

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of University students were drawn from worker or peasant classes.

The literacy figures given above speak for the general education of adults, but it is well worth while to notice how the whole weight of the newer educational media: radio, cinema, travelling libraries, theatres, etc., is being brought to bear on the problem of education in the remote villages scattered over the immense area of the Union. Scarcely a village now is without its radio, and wireless sets are even put up in the harvest fields, which are often so far from the villages that the peasants sleep there during the harvest time.

A large proportion of the matter presented through all these agencies is' educational and bears especially on current problems of life, industry or inter­ national affairs.

The position of the “ national minorities ” bears witness to the inter­ national character of the Union. Everywhere education is carried on in the language of the people by teachers of their own race.

Over 30 of the languages were only in oral use before the Revolution. Now they have scripts based on the Latin and not the Slavonic alphabet, which is clear proof that? there is no attempt to impose Russian culture upon the East. The speed at! which education progresses can be gauged from the fact that in five years the schools in Uzbekistan have increased from 800 to 8,000. Education blazes the trail, and in its wake come the emancipation of women and the collectivi­ sation of agriculture and industry, and, according to the Communist faith, behind these will follow slowly but surely the rise in the standard and increase of the fulness of life for all, which is the ultimate goal of the Socialised State.

ENVY. And no wonder Tommy Smith’s proud. She sure is a beauty, and no getting away from it, but he knows how to handle her properly, because only the other day he said to me: “ Maisie and I went to Manchester yesterday, and the whole outing only cost half a dollar, a gallon for her and a couple of gills for myself. That takes some beating, you know.” And I had to admit* it. But there’s one thing I don’t like about his Maisie because whenever I . touch her throttle she starts coughing and spluttering, yet he seems to be able to do what he likes with her. Still, I wouldn’t mind having her—she’s a grand little car You will help THE MOCK TURTLE by becoming a subscriber, or per­ suading someone else to. Three issues post free to any address in the world for one shilling and ninepence. Write Business Manager.

QUERY. Now that Mr. H. W. Izzard lectures in French, and Mr. P. W. D. Izzard of the “ Daily Mail ” writes on gardens, are we likely to suffer a surfeit of “ la plume de la tante du jardiniere?”

WE SET UP A PRECEDENT. Two of His Majesty’s Inspectors recently purchased copies of the Mock Turtle in the College. We are thus the first department of College activity which inspectors have paid to inspect. Members of the Staff will welcome the precedent. The Editor begs to announce that all his classes are open to inspection by anyone, on payment of a moderate fee. Terms on application. Special rates for large parties.

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THE PRIZE DISTRIBUTION. Dear Sir_May I trespass on your valuable space to raise a query con­ cerning the annual repetition of rites and ceremonies known as the Prize Distribution.

Why is it? What useful purpose does it serve? Its name is no criterion, since prizes could be much more easily and efficiently distributed by the Chief Clerk or the Postman.

Consider_A bored and seat-sore audience, 75 per cent, of whom have come to receive prizes; a speaker who didn t want to come, but did not see how to refuse; a silent beauty chorus, consisting of members of the staff, their mouths often wide open, but not for musical purposes; and a full supporting programme of the leading citizens of the borough, together^ with a list of distinguished people who are sorry they couldn t come, which is carefully recited to the people who are sorry they couldn’t stay away; —and again I ask why?

The whole thing is absurd. The leading speaker may be interesting (he may not), but for the rest we have the same useless repetition of chair­ man’s remarks, votes of thanks, &c., a procession of students, clumsy and selfconscious, and the principal’s report. Listening to this is like getting Radio Paris on a crystal set. It would reach a much bigger audience, and be much better understood if it were published in the local paper.

I put the number of student hours wasted on this evening as approxi­ mately 2,000. Put in terms of one student, this is not far off a complete Diploma Course.

Joking apart, it is a shame to expect the youth of the town to spend an uncomfortable evening at the “ Local University ” (see the Examiner, same date as Prize Distribution), or if you prefer it the “ Glorified Evening School ” (see Examiner, after the function), when the Tudor House Super Cinema stands hard Dy (with softer seats).

I feel very strongly in this matter, and should be very pleased to have the views of both your other readers.* Yours very sincerely, PETIT. * Our correspondent is evidently under a misapprehension as to the circulation of the influential journal to which he writes.—Ed.

THANKS !

Dear Sir (or Madam),—On hearing that there is not sufficient material to make this term’s issue of the Mock Turtle a success (We wonder where our correspondent heard that.—Ed.), may I, with the knowledge of Chemistry and Pharmacy which I, at great cost and expenditure of time, have decoded from 14

“ Broosnarper,” respectfully tender a remedy? This remedy is a cast iron cert., a never-failing miracle of the 20th century.

Into a blast-furnace (must be a blast-furnace, so that the ingredients will burn better) throw — 1 teacher of each subject (not forgetting machine drawing), 5 lab. assistants, 2 store-keepers (e.g. Chem. stores), 12 typewriters, 200 French, English, Latin, German, and Spanish books, 50 drawing boards, A few easily breakable, thin glass flasks (easily obtainable from the Chem. stores), 2000 old books (contents of library), And most of the drawings of the art section, particularly the dance posters and “ Mirky Turtle” adverts.

The molten liquid should be run off, and used to fill up the gaps.

I can vouch for the results, as I have often prescribed this in college epidemics.

Yours perhaps, F. OGMERCHANT, M.U.G. (Member of the Union of Glassblowers.

Meetings of the Union every Sat. morning in the Physics Dept.)

P.S.—A word in private — in order to make your fortune, conduct the operation on a piece of waste ground, and charge 6d. per head for ANY casual onlookers.

THE LIBRARY. Dear Sir,—Admiration compels me to write this letter of appreciation of those people who cut things out of the Journals in our Library, thereby adding so much to the pleasure of others who wish to read them.

Sometimes, the activating motive seems to be a high moral sense of what is fit reading for those of inferior intellect. What zealous social reformers and religious fanatics such pure-souled persons make in after life ! How greatly we strive to follow their example !

At other times, the motive would appear to be a more purely personal one, connected with a desire to avoid labour, save expense or otherwise realize a high ambition. Then, how highly do we praise these people when they are “ made up ! ! ” Carry on the good work ye high-minded zealots and models of efficiency !

If it aids you in the realisation of your ambitions, great will be your reward, and you can afford to ignore the execrations of THE READER. LATEST EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITY. Huddersfield.

15

Commerce in the Ho(l)mes of

M o d e r n M u s ic s its f o r m c o m p o s i t i o n “ if music be the food of love, play on.

Give me excess of it . . .

Shakespeare.

ONDERFUL old Bard (I nearly said ‘ bird.’ It’s true, though. Both soar into the empyrean). Even in your days of capers and capons and it may be, coupons, theie weie the transcending moments of life when many a liquid note flowed rapturously from the pure springs of amorous insanity, and blended harmoniously with its fellows into a wonderful smoothly flowing stream. On this, the Goddess of Love, with Cupid in attendance, could launch her craft and glide gently along, leaving the tiller to her other henchman, Devil-may-care.

Good old days when Byrds and birds were near relatives; when men were men, and music was . . . written for the better side of our human nature, —our better halves, in fact.

And now. What a curious mixture of sickly sentiment on the one hand, and discordant horror on the other, are we content to get together in the shape of a musical legacy for the next generation. Is our modern music, the very highbrow and the very lowbrow, part and parcel of these disjointed days' Do the times breed the nations’ music? I am constrained to recall the words of a well-known hymn tune . . . “ Here we suffer grief and Payne,” . . . and at the same time to ask, “ Why?” I have thought of approaching the B.B.C. about it. I fear, however, that the temperature of my reception by that august body might crystallize all the thermometers for miles around. Nevertheless, its responsibilities are like its powers, great. I would appeal to it to keep an eye upon its dance orchestras, and prevent their inflicting upon us their lewd versions of the better known and hence more tuneful classics.

In the other direction, I beg to inform our broadcast mandarins that we have no ears for music in the shape of studies in dissonance, with or without tom-tom accompaniment. My temperature goes up in leaps and bounds when for the transaction of a Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody, I am asked to accept a Rhaps-o-dee-o-doh. Even his famous Liebestraume has been orchestrated into a sort of devil dance.

Let the Devil write his own music, and the o-dee-o-doh merchants go to Barta Belok with their librettos, say !

I should be just as grieved to find the precious properties of that rare and wonderful element Radium being utilised in the synthetic ageing of champagne, and thus diverted from their amelioration of the sufferings of pain-wracked humanity. Tickling the palate won’t feed the hungry. In time it destroys the digestion.

Just one more appeal to our modern authority on every subject that must swim the ether. In times like these, please adopt as your slogan—“ Buy British—Sell British—and Be British.” In the pre Great War era, we did not “ Dance with tears in our eyes,” we “ Knocked ’em in the old Kent Road.”

16

What i am suggesting is that if words and music must travel the ether together, please put a little more H.P.—and this stands for horse-power, not sauce into the words. Maybe they’ll help to shore up the musical structure, not push it over.

As 1 write, an anticipation of this S.O.S. has been made evident in the daily press, to the effect that, in the words of one of our beloved modern poets and librettists, “ It aint a gonna Payne no moah.”

Now as to modern classical composition, the type that creates mental disturbances in the honest-to-goodness music lover, but merely further ‘ up­ lift ’ of the eyebrow in the highbrow species.

Are you familiar with the modern Chamber Music, dear reader? You know the label anyhow. String Quartets—Piano Quintets—String Trios, etc., etc. The sort of music that must be played by experts, behind closed doors, in rooms with sound-proof walls, lest the familiar noises of the outer house­ hold, or suburbia in general, penetrate ever so gently, and so, blasphemously, round off the edges of the horrible cacophany. Playing these compositions is just a game, a difficult game. Endless fun and enjoyment there undoubtedly is, for the players, and they are very welcome to it. But in the words of Titania, the Fairy Queen, “ With their broils thev do disturb our fairy pleasure.”

Now, if there were no such music, there would be no such players, and since the composer ranks higher than the executant, we must slay the com­ poser metaphorically by exposing him, or reducing him to the ranks, so to speak.

I claim to be able to compose along modern lines; and were it not for the fact that I am so infernally lazy, I could very soon claim the pedestal next to Stravinski. If you don’t mind, I’ll put you in possession of the secret, then it will be a case of the more the fewer, and the world will be eternally grateful.

I must say that I am indebted to my late friend, De Reske, musician and composer, for the secret. Here is his recipe. Follow very closely.

Take a pre-determined number of bars from a work by, say, Schubert, and an equal number from a work by Beethovan or Chopin. So arrange your selection that both time and key signatures are the same. Commence with the last note of the last bar, and make it the first note of the first bar. The next to the last note becomes your second and so on. Mix up a 3/4 time in one clef with say a 5/4 time in an accompanying clef, every so often. It looks better.

The result will astonish you, and the musical critics. The first to carry out my instructions will be acclaimed another Bartok. The second will be put to death to the strains of his own composition, and no anaesthetic will be administered.

This constitutes my good deed for the day. Now, my readers, go and do yours.

—G. M. GEE. A teacher named H . . . .

1 taught tricks To brickies on how to lay bricks; To fill up each dent In the bricks with cement, And wet them by giving them licks.

17

C o lle g e A c tiv itie s .

PRIZE DISTRIBUTION. Prizes were presented on Jan. 22nd, in the large Hall of the College, by Mr. H. E. Bloor, who took the place at the last moment of Sir Francis Goodenough, on account of the illness of the latter.

The Chair was taken by Councillor A. Hirst.

CRICKET CLUB. There are good prospects of obtaining a ground for this season, and it is hoped to run a strong club. All interested are asked to give their names to Mr. H. Clay, in the Chemistry Dept.

COLLEGE DANCE. A very successful Dance was held on Shrove Tues­ day, in the Hall of the British Legion Club, kindly lent to us without charge by the Committee. “ The Mock Turtle,” and four other College institutions benefited financially as a result.

OLD STUDENTS’ UNION. Easter Excursions are arranged as follow. The results are not to hand at the time of going to press: (1) Grassington—Kilnsey, Hawkeswick, Arncliffe, Buckden, Hubberholme, Starbottom, Kettlewell, back to Grassington.

(2) Clapham—Walk to Ingleton.

(3) Sheffield—to Dovedale.

NEWS OF OLD STUDENTS. Ruth Armitage has married F. N. C. Moy at the British Consulate, Madrid.

Kathleen C. Brown has been appointed Assistant Mistress at the Terrington Hall School, York.

Marion Rhodes, Art Mistress at the Scunthorpe Secondary School.

I. Clarke has been appointed Secretary of the Canadian Branch of the British Chamber of Commerce, Paris.

J. M. Tyas, Design Master at the Salford School of Art. A. C. Walshaw, M.Sc., Lecturer in Mechanical Engineering, Northamp­ ton Polytechnic Institute, London.

S. L. Goldthorpe, Lecturer in Physical Training at the Carmarthen Training College.

J. A. Hargrave, Head of the Commerce Department, Technical College, Doncaster.

J. E. Hibbert, Chief Accountant, Equitable Bank, Halifax.

STAFF NOTES. Since our last issue, the Staff have suffered two plagues—boils and Income Tax. We recollect that ancient Egypt suffered in the same way.

The consensus of opinion amongst students is that the cause of suffering is hard-heartedness, even as it was with the Egyptians—but as yet there are no flies on our Staff.

Despite the cynical attitude towards the sufferers, of one member, who 18

remarks that sometimes these things seem to be epidemic in the Spring, they have our best wishes for a speedy issue out of all their afflictions.

Early in the term the Staff Tea started boiling again, and after several ideas had vapourised, simmered down with the appointment of a committee to regulate its ebullition. As we belong to the socially thirsty section of the community, we hope the committee will soon stoke up the furnace, and remember that tea kept too long on the hob becomes undrinkable.

No student of the Yearly Report can fail to appreciate the multitudinous activities of the Staff. Here are some to be noted:— Mr. S. Brierley is on the County Advisory Committee for Textiles.

Mr. N. Culley is President of the W. Riding Society of Architects, and a Member of the Council of the Royal Institute of British Architects.

Dr. H. H. Hodgson is in office again on the Council of the Institute of Chemistry.

Miss M. Pilling, lately Demonstrator in Biology is now Botany Mistress at Durham County School for Girls.

Mr. J. Schofield has been elected a Fellow of the Institute of Physics.

We congratulate Mr. J. Nixon, Ph.D. (London), Miss M. Phythian, Ph.D. (Manchester), Mr. j. Walker, Ph.D. (Manchester), on the successful com­ pletion of their respective research work, which has won for them well merited doctorate degrees; also Mr. H. H. Gray, on his M.Sc. (Manchester), awarded for metallurgical research of fundamental importance.

Some students may remember Miss Phythian as a former History Lecturer.

Dr. J. Walker has also been elected F.R.H.S. (History, not Horticulture).

We are pleased to have two new colleagues in Miss D. W. Lee, A.R.C.A., Assistant Mistress, School of Art; Mr. G. Marshall, Assistant Lecturer, Textile Department.

We extend our sympathy to the relatives and friends of the late Mr. W. E. Haigh, formerly Lecturer in English, and noted for his researches on the local dialect.

A. 0. JONES. GOETHE CENTENARY. On March 22nd, a number of members of the Staff gathered in the Biological Laboratory, at the kind invitation of Mr. C. H. Ward and Dr. W. B. Crow, to celebrate the Centenary of Goethe. After a sociable tea and a happily appropriate introduction by the Chairman, Mr. E. Woodhead, the literary work of Goethe formed the subject of an address by Mr. Ward, and Dr. Crow, following, dealt with Goethe’s contributions to Biological Science.

Afterwards, those present were invited to examine a well arranged exhibition illustrating Goethe’s scientific work. Altogether, this was one of the most pleasant and successful of Staff functions, and all present will have greatly appreciated the initiative and hospitality of the two members res­ ponsible.

THE DAY STUDENTS' REPRESENTATIVE COUNCIL. Those who were present at the Prize Distribution were no doubt in­ terested in one Speaker’s statement, in which he said that the College would never be anything more than a “ Glorified Evening School.” Are we to 19

assume then, that we bring this “ glory ” to the College?—indeed, it must be so for without us it would be just an ordinary evening school. Surely, then the “ Purveyors of Glory ” are not asking too much when they ask for a Common Room worthy of the name? The ladies are already provided with a Common Room, but the men’s Common Room is often used as a Class Room. The Council is doing its best to alter this lamentable state of affairs, and hopes to persuade the Powers that be that a permanent men’s common room is essential. A little while ago we had a sale, and raised about six pounds for the common rooms; the ladies’ common room is already consider­ ably improved.

The collection for the “ Earl Haigh Fund,” undertaken by Miss Sykes and Miss Smith (members of the Council) realised £8 8s. 5d. Thanks are also due to Miss Bland and Miss Liversedge, who gave considerable assistance.

A. CROFT, Sec. A.F.C. The football club has been very successful this season as compared with the previous one. The membership has increased; but not up to the standard we should expect from a college of our size. Next season we hope to have double the members, and to be able to run both 1st and 2nd teams.

Thanks to one of the Engineering students, who sacrificed some of his time for the team, we have avoided difficulty in finding a referee.

It has been rumoured that a certain international was coming for next season, but I am afraid he would soon be put on the transfer list.

Date.

Opponents.

Place Oct. 3— Cleckheaton G.S.O.B. ...

A Oct. 10— British Dyestuffs Co. ...

A Oct. 17— British Dyestuffs Co. ...

H Oct. 24— St. Cuthbert’s ..................

A A Oct. 31— 0 . Rastrickians ............

Nov. 7— Leeds Tech. College ...

A Nov. 14— 0 . R a stric k ia n s................

H H Nov. 21— St. Cuthbert’s ..................

Nov. 28— 0 . Roydsians “ A ” ...

A Dec. 5— Bradford Tech. College A Dec. 19— Cleckheaton G.S.O.B. ...

H

Result.

F A 1 6 2 1 2 0 2 5 3 2 4 0 5 2 2 1 1 0 1 3 4 4

Date.

Opponents.

Jan. 2— 0 . Ramsdenians ...

Jan. 9— 0 . Ramsdenians ...

Jan. 16— M arsden P. Ch. ...

Jan. 23— Slaithvvaite Y.M.C.A. Jan. 30— Elland G.S.O.B. ...

Feb. 6— Marsden P. Ch. ...

Feb. 20— 0 . Roydsians “ A ” Mar. 12—'Bradford Tech. C. ...

Mar. 19— Hudd. Gasworks Co. 2— Leeds Tech. Coll. ...

Apr. 9— Hudd. Gasworks Co. Apr.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Place.

H A H H A A H H A H H

Result.

F A 4 2 3 3 2 1 0 2 6 1 2 1 5 1 2 1

SWIMMING CLUB NOTES. The Swimming Club invites all members of the Staff and Students to join the Club this year. As an exercise, swimming is the best possible, and assists the development of greater self-confidence.

Now let us all get together this year, so that the number of members will be a great increase on any previous season. If a beginner, we shall be pleased to help you become proficient in one of the finest of sports. If already a swimmer, you will naturally wish to meet old pals.

To become a good swimmer, confidence, calmness and good style should be developed—speed will come after.

The following is a good stroke.

The Trudgeon Stroke.

This is a very useful and strong stroke, and has been used a number of times by successful Channel swimmers. It is more suitable for rough water 20

than the crawl stroke, as it allows the head to be kept higher above water, so that breathing is easier and more natural.

The stroke is a combination of the right and left overarm, with both arms recovering above the water, therefore a knowledge of the overarm stroke will help in mastering this one.

Arm Action. The arms work alternately, as in the crawl, but with rather longer strokes. Each arm is swung upward from the surface, and then carried round, with a slight bend at the elbow, which is straightened out in front of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;he head. The arms should swing round, and not over the top, keeping the hand close to the surface of the water, and the back of the hand facing to the front. When the arm is at its full stretch at the front, a slight pause is made; the hand is then dipped into the water, keeping fingers closed and making a direct sweep to the side. Do not dip the hand before the arm is fully stretched.

Leg Action. This is similar to the overarm. The usual style is one kick to a full arm cycle; another is the scissor kick with every arm stroke.

The body twists slightly from side to side, so that the kick is always made on a flat plane, with the feet kept an equal distance from the surface of the water.

The Kick. Bend the upper leg forward from the knee, with a trailing foot and the lower leg slightly backward, the feet being about 1 yard apart.

Bring the feet and legs together quickly, at the same time straightening out the legs. 1 hen twist the body slightly, and make the 2nd kick if required; if not, keep legs trailing slackly.

Begin slowly until the correct timing and combination of the arm and leg movements are obtained, breathe normally, and do not roll the body too much. The speed will gradually improve along with the style.

See notice board for further particulars re membership, &c. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;OTTER. THE SKETCH CLUB EXHIBITION AND PLAYS. 1 he Sketch Club held its Exhibition, and presented its Plays on January 29th and 30th. The work in the Exhibition, though not so abundant as last year, showed on the whole a reassuring sincerity of expression; we regret, however, that so much misapplied energy should emerge on the craft table, and cover so many white wood boxes.

Amongst the designs for printed fabrics, a healthy striving for purity of design was manifest, and, though the results were still rather crude in places, they augured well for the future.

The architects were again well represented, and, if we may here offer a suggestion, might not some co-operation on decorative schemes between the architects and designers yield interesting results.

About the plays we will say little; we were amused.

We liked the air of abandon with which they were presented, an air which, on the second night, coaxed a sneeze from the corpse.

We hope the corpse has got rid of his cold; he gave a creditable perform­ ance of a difficult part.

C. 21

MUSICAL AND LITERARY RECITAL.

By Day and Evening Students, March 5th, 1932.

For the present critic such students’ entertainments possess a charm which cannot be appraised in terms of musical or artistic criticism.

The performers are so earnest and sincere in their desire to please that criticism of the kind which can legitimately be applied to professional art is out of place In the present instance if any is permissible, it is mainly in cordial endorsement of Mrs. Hudson’s comment on the piano. It was a savage instrument of the harshest tone, spoiling the more liquid passages, and so overpoweringly harsh in the louder, as to render them often actually dis­ cordant A pity that splendid playing was spoilt so markedly by the instru­ ment. The instruments of the string quintette, not having this defect, their talented contributions w'ere more enjoyable by contrast, but is it altogether fair to play on strings of another kind, namely the heart strings of the older generation by giving such beautiful renderings of the love songs of long ago.

During the playlet criticism was forgotten. The writer thought the little love episode (Miss Inman and Mr. Stansfield) was going to develop into a “ 5 yard cling,” and received a shock when it did not. He has yet to meet the land­ lady (Miss C. Armitage), who presides at tea in cap and apron, and the impersonation was more convincing when they were discarded later. The Major (Mr. Gledhill) might have been more devilish in behaviour, the Stranger (Mr. Lowe) less clerical in manner, with advantage; also actresses endowed with low speaking voices are wise to raise them a trifle when acting, otherwise the audience miss much.

Might a word be added with regard to future entertainments of the same kind. Some loose ends want tying up. For example, students who put in so much hard work to give pleasure deserve better support from their fellow students. Again there does not seem to be any obvious necessity for the audience to drift away towards the end when a recital finishes early; and there is no need to omit the National Anthem. Rivalry is the price of progress, and whilst it remains, so it does not hurt us to take pride in ourselves as a nation. The National Anthem is only the expression of that pride, and should not be omitted. Altogether the recital was a great success, and may there be more like it in the College.

—A. 0. JONES. HOCKEY. It is hoped to form a Ladies’ Hockey Club for next season.

All enthusiastic persons, players or non-players, will be welcome.

Will those interested kindly give their names and addresess as soon as possible (either direct or by leaving a note in the Inquiry Office) to any of the fallowing:— Barbara Wood, Marie Tuplin, Marie Grindrod, Freda Calderbank, Joan Laycock, May Wood, Margaret Schofield.

Pauline Burley.

Jessie Swallow, 22

THE STUDENT CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT. In the December number of the “ Mock Turtle,” we mentioned an address

by Mr. G. R. Carter, which was then still to come. Well—it came. And some forty people enjoyed it. We were pleased to have with us several members of the College Staff, including our President. Mr. Carter’s address, entitled “ Is Civilisation a Failure?” caused great interest and much amusement. He provoked discussion, which continued for a long time before he brought the meeting to a close with a short summary of the argument.

On Jan. 22nd, we were fortunate in having five speakers (three students and two Staff) to give us, in five minutes each, their “ Idea of Religion.”

From a S.C.M. standpoint this was probably the best meeting of the term, and we could not help but admire the frank, outspoken wav in which each speaker treated his subject.

In early February we decided that our lady members were not living up to their womanly reputation. Not only did they fail to have the last word, but, apart from one or two timid exceptions, they rarely seemed to have a word at all. This was rectified at once by a debate run'by the ladies. The motion was: “ 1 hat Christian Missions are an Impertinence.” As usual most of the debating was done after the vote had been taken, but it was a very interesting discussion.

Owing to unforeseen circumstances Mr. Record’s address on Christianity and Money ’ has twice been postponed. But we are looking forward to March 11th, when, it seems, we really shall be able to hear what he has to say about it.

On the whole, this term has been a success, if not a very notable one.

With our share of the proceeds from the College Dance on Feb. 9th we have been able to send our usual £2 2s. Od. to Headquarters once more.

We make no apology for the S.C.M. It is, and it always will be, just what our students make it. Of course, we want more members. And, of course, we ask you to join us in our meetings (the Teas alone are worth any­ body s sixpence). But if you decide to come—do so, intending to make vour influence felt.

J Our thanks are due to all who have helped to make our S.C.M. meetings enjoyable by speaking, preparing teas, clearing away, making our posters, and by just turning up and giving “ atmosphere ” and “ tone ” to the pro­ ceedings. r We rely on the support of each and every one of you during the next term, and may we be able to do great things through the S.C.M. We shall be glad to receive names and addresses of students who are ill. These should be given to Constance Armitage, in the Library, or to Marjorie Hall.

WHITE ELEPHANTS FOR SALE. On Friday, Feb. 5th, the Students’ Representative Council showed us that they mean business.

At 4 o’clock on that date, room 42 (I disdain to say the Men’s Common 23

Room, since as often as not the room is locked-up) had the appearance of a cross between a second-hand book stall and a pawn shop.

I am informed that certain members of the Staff took this opportunity of netting rid of their “ superfluous stock,” and incidentally of “ buying in ” for the year. Unfortunately even the White Elephant Sale was unable to ensure the disposal of certain articles which had been inflicted on it. As a result of this a fully rigged schooner is at rest in Mr. Carter’s private sanctum. It may be rescued from its present environment by paying the Chairman of the Representative Council a very modest sum.

Financially the sale was a great success. If proof of this is required, let the “ doubting Thomas ” gaze at the windows of the ladies’ common room (from the outside of course, if male). If the victim is not blinded, he or she will have ample proof that on Feb. 5th, the Student Representative Council ogathered bullion into its treasure chest.

DRAMATIC SOCIETY. This year’s activities of the Dramatic Society have been confined to the production of “ Plunder.” it had been hoped to produce this clever farce early in December, and to follow it with another three-act play in April, but illness in the cast, and other unforeseen circumstances rendered postponement imperative. The play was eventually put on at Longwood Mechanics’ Hall, on March 9th, and played to a crowded house. From the start the audience were amused at the smart lines of Mr. Travers, who writes so many plays for Tom Walls and Ralph Lynn; and the Society feels this production has been the most successful so far.

Individual praise is never to be desired, but one cannot but speak well of Clifford Scott as D’Arcy Tuck, Jack Wadsworth as Oswald Veale, and Kathleen Stevens as old Mrs. Hewlett. Miss Stevens part was an unenviable one; it is always our difficulty to get youngsters to play old parts, but the way Miss Stevens interpreted the ill-tempered character of the bigamist, Mrs. Hewlett, was well appreciated by the audience. Mr. Scott as the idioted D’Arcy Tuck was brilliant. It can honestly be said that his rendering of the part was the cleverest bit of “ fooling ” seen on a Huddersfield Amateur stage for some time.

Our next production has not yet been decided; several plays are being considered, including “ To What Red Hell,” “ Hawk Island,” “ Rookery Nook,” and “ The A^iddle Watch.”

L. LAWSON, Hon. Secy.

WHY KEEP WALKING ABOUT TO SAVE FUNERAL EXPENSES? Material for dissection is required. The College wants your body. Apply, Dept, of Biology. Tenders are invited for the supply of corpses. No ques­ tions asked. A profitable pastime for the winter nights. Engineering Dept, supplies tools at discount rates. Start at once and impress your friends.— Advt.

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