The Mock Turtle - Vol. 1 No. 3

THE ]Wock T urtle

SEPTEMBER, 1927.

PRICE 6d.

The M ock T urtle A Review of th e Life, T hought, and H um our of th e H uddersfield T echnical College.

E d ito r: M r . A. D. K. OWEN, B.Com. (Staff), A ssistant Editors : Miss FLORENCE TATTERSALL. Miss E T H E L BAILEY. Business Manager : M r . R. W H E E L H O U S E .

“

There’s a Purpose just behind me, and he’s treading on my tail.”

VOLUME TWO.

NUMBER THREE.

SEPTEMBER 1927.

T he M ock Turtle.

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CONTENTS. PAGE

The Editor

4

R. II. Crossley

6

S ta r g a zer

8

T HINGS W E W A N T TO K N O W

Curious

9

THE L A Y OF H U D D E R S F I E L D

A Poet

9

T H E E C L I P S E OF 1999

C. Record

10

THE T A L E OF A T R IP

W. Spence

12

M. E.

13

Agnes W rig h t

14

E.E.

14

Tripeiro

15

C. Record

17

A P R O G R A M M E FOR THE W I N T E R SE V E N IN SNOWDONIA ECLIPSE M ADNESS

D R A M A T IC C R IT IC IS M —“ The H e i r - a t - L a w " M USINGS T H E T E C H N I C A L COLLEGE SIR S T U D E N T OF P O R T U G A L C 2 H 6 0 (absolute): A F A N T A S Y A D I R E C T O R Y OF COLLEG E A C T I V I T I E S :— THE D E BA TIN G SO C IE TY

20

THE DRAMATIC SO CIETY

20

THE C H R I S T I A N U N IO N

22

THE C H E M IST R Y SO C IE TY

22

T H E S K E T C H CLUB

23

T H E A S S O C I A T IO N F O O T B A L L CLUB

24

THE H O C K E Y CL UBS

24

“ L E ST WE FORGET ” OUR A D V E R T I S E M E N T S U P P L E M E N T

3 - 7 - 1 6 -1 9 -2 1 -2 3 -2 4

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M ixed H o c k e y C l u b D a n ce SA T U R D A Y , 15th O C T O B E R , 1927, in the L A R G E H A L L, of the T E C H N IC A L C O L L E G E .

T IC K E T S 1/6 each, can be obtained from Mr. R. Wheelhouse, Chief Clerk’s Office, and any Member of the Club.

3

A Programme for th e W inter.

O R th e th ird tim e th e “ M ock T u r t l e ” h as raised its suffering head, th is tim e, m aybe, to k eep it e re c t for m an y a long day.

T w o e x p erim e n tal n u m b ers h a v e been issu ed to a not too e n th u sia stic college “ p u b lic ,” a n d th e seco n d of th ese receiv­ ed as m ixed a recep tio n as th e first. F in a n c ia lly it fared m uch w orse. I t is an o b stin a te fa ith th a t h as led to this issue in th e face of th o se h a lf-su c ce sses a n d financial losses, bu t w e h a v e an ink lin g th a t it is going to be justified. Of the th re e th o u sa n d a n d m an y stu d e n ts w ho enrol in S ep tem ­ ber, surely o n e -q u a rte r w ill p u rc h a se a copy of th is jo u rn a l, w h ic h is th e ir own for th eir m ak in g or u n m ak in g did th ey b u t realise it.

I t is w ith th is th re e th o u sa n d a n d m an y stu d e n ts who en ro l in Septem ber t h a t we are specially concerned in th is m agazine. Y ou w ill find if y o u tu r n over the pages w hich follow some in d ic atio n of w h a t som e of o u r s tu d e n ts h av e been doing d u rin g th e sum m er— in N o rth W ales, a t G igglesw ick, an d in ra m b lin g nearer hom e. T his is b u t a fra g m e n t of th e w hole s to ry : th e w hole w ould ta k e too long in te llin g : th e re h av e been dances an d te n n is a n d c ric k e t a n d countless im prom ptu festivities w here groups of stu d e n ts have g a th e re d to g e th e r.

T hese a re things w hich can m ake college life m em orable, a n d w hich, th e re fo re , m u s t be encouraged.

To th is end we h av e sev eral rem a rk s to m ak e a b o u t s tu d e n t activ ities during th e w in te r term s.

T he tro u b le a b o u t s tu d e n t activ ities a t H u d d ersfield T ech n ical College is not so m uch t h a t th e y are few and feeble— on th e c o n tra ry — b u t t h a t th ey are run by a n u m b e r of cliques w orking in d e p e n d e n tly . T h e re is n o co -o rd in atio n among th e m an y societies an d clubs of th e College such as o b ta in s in U n iv ersities and Colleges w here a S tu d e n ts ' U n io n exists. T his is a re a l w eakness a n d should be rem edied. Societies and C lubs should w ork to g e th e r in th e College in fostering t h a t com m unity s p irit w hich seems to be so sadly la c k in g am o n g o u r students.

T his is as im p o rta n t as th e success of th e ir sectional o b jects, a n d indeed the success of th e la tte r u ltim a te ly depends u p o n how th e College as a w hole supports th e ir activ ities. T he F o o tb a ll and H ockey C lubs need a g r e a t d eal m ore public su p p o rt in th e College. T he D ra m a tic Society needs a g re a t d eal of su p p o rt in m ore ways th a n one. T h e D e b atin g Society m ig h t p rov id e a b a ttle -g ro u n d for th e a rg u m e n ta tiv e am ong m ost of th e o th e r societies, a n d th e C h ristia n Union would be very stim u la te d by a jo in t m ee tin g w ith th e C h e m istry Society. W e are m em bers of one a n o th e r, an d u n til we realise i t we sh a ll n o t succeed even in our sectional endeavours.

M oreover, i t is n o t u n til a com m on l< College P o lic y ” is adopted by th e societies an d clubs t h a t th e g re a t m a jo rity of stu d e n ts will take a n ) notice of th em a t all. I t would a p p e a r t h a t cynics am ong us a v er t h a t most w ill n o t in any case ! B u t w h a t will c e rta in ly arouse a g re a t d eal of in te re s t is a g re a t U n ite d C am paign to p o p u larise College activ itie s m ad e by a ll th e societies in com m on. T he id eal, of course, would be to form (or re s u rre c t? ) a S tu d e n ts’ U m o n ; b u t in face of c e rta in u n d e n ia b le p ra c tic a l difficulties in such a course a \ a u a e step would be to form a S tu d e n ts ’ G en eral C o m m ittee m ad e up of rep re se n ta tiv e s of every College o rg an izatio n . I ts business w ould b e n o t only to conduct such a cam paign, b u t to a rra n g e such im p o rta n t fu n ctio n s as College D ances (w hich o u g h t to su p p lem en t, if n o t su p p la n t, sectio n al d ances), to consider w h a t p ublic su p p o rt can be w orked u p fo r such an e v e n t as a p lay by th e D ram atic 4

Society, a P a rlia m e n ta ry d e b a te by th e D e b a tin g Society, an e x tr a special football or hockey m a tc h , or a display by th e S k etch C lub. Such a C om m ittee could also relieve th e business m a n a g e r of th e “ M ock T u rtle " of a load of resp o n sib ility as re g a rd s sales, a n d w ould alm ost c e rta in ly be able to place th is jo u rn a l on a p e rm a n e n tly sound financial basis by g u a ra n te e in g its c ircu latio n w hile a t th e sam e tim e exercising some d iscretio n ary a u th o rity over its co n ten ts. A comm on room w ith rea l arm chairs m ig h t be m ore th a n a dream to o u r m ore visionary m en stu d e n ts if th is C om m ittee knew its job, a n d half-a-score of o th e r m in o r am enities m ig h t be w rested from th e pow ers t h a t be T he possibilities of such a n in stitu tio n a re enorm ous.

M Tiat should be done a t once is t h a t re p re se n ta tiv e s of th e various societies an d clubs should come to g e th e r im m ed iately to discuss th e idea an d to d r a f t a schem e on w hich to w ork. T he object of fu rth e rin g College in te re sts an d fostering C ollege p a trio tism should be in th e fo re fro n t, an d w ith these ends in view each society an d club should c o n trib u te its sh are to th e pro g ram m e of stu d e n t activ ities fo r th e w in te r w hich i t w ill be th e business of th e C om m ittee to p rep a re.

T here is no reason w hy th e stu d e n ts of H uddersfield T echnical College should n o t have a w in te r session packed w ith events of g en eral in te re s t a n d am usem en t to vie w ith an y sim ilar in s titu tio n in th e co u n try . B u t i t is necessary to do so m ething a t once. I t should h av e been done la s t term .

T he “ M ock T u r t l e ” has one o r tw o suggestions to m ake to th e C om m ittee should i t be form ed.

F ir s t of all we suggest t h a t a Cbllege D ance should be organized^ by th e C om m ittee in each of th e first t,w o term s of th e session, an y profit from w hich should be placed in a G eneral F u n d to be a d m in istered a t th e d isc retio n of th e C o m m ittee in th e fu rth e ra n c e of its objects. Secondly we suggest t h a t a P a rlia m e n ta ry D e b ate be organized to be held in th e L arg e H a ll of th e College a t w hich some to p ic a l m easu re should be b ro u g h t u p for review . C areful o rg an izatio n should e n su re an in te re s tin g an d am using evening. A g a in , we suggest t h a t th e s u p p o rt of th e C om m ittee should be specially given to one p a rtic u la r m eetin g o r event organized by each society o r club each y ear. T hus th e C hem istry Society m ig h t in v ite some p ro m in e n t sc ien tist to lectu re on some topic of gen eral in te re s t a t an open m eetin g specially backed by th e S tu d e n ts ’ C om m ittee.

The C h ristia n U n io n m ig h t organize a sim ila r m eetin g addressed by one of th e ir ex cellen t speakers from th e S tu d e n t C h ristia n M ovem ent h e a d q u a rte rs assured of some g en eral su p p o rt. T he F o o tb a ll C lub an d H ockey Clubs m ig h t set aside a p a rtic u la r m atch fo r special a d v ertisem en t, a n d w hich as m an y as possible would be in d u ced , coerced or physically com pelled to a tte n d fo r th e purpose of cheering or o th erw ise p u blicly d e m o n stra tin g t h a t H uddersfield T echnical College is alive a n d kicking.

H e re a re th re e suggestions. M any m ore w ill occur to th e com m ittee once it is form ed. T he g re a t th in g is to g e t to w ork on some of th ese a t once. W e know t h a t th e difficuties of c re a tin g a h e a lth y p u b lic s p irit in an in s titu tio n m ad e u p of a sm all body of day stu d e n ts a n d a larg e conglom erate of even in g stu d e n ts are g re a t ev en to th e p o in t ju s t sh o rt of being in su p erab le, b u t an e n th u sia stic g ro u p of people keen enough to do th e ir b est m ay m ak e a pow er of noise in th e lan d .

A n d th e ir sh o u t m ay be ta k e n fo r th e sh o u t of th e whole.

The E d i t o r w ill he p l e a s e d to receive c o ntrib utio ns f r o m d a y a n d evening st u d e n ts f o r p u b l i c a t i o n in the next issue.

5

Seven in Snowdonia.

Being some account oj the doings of certain gentlemen of the Commercial Department in the neighbourhood of Beddgelert, North Wales.

T was w ith gleam of brass an d a suffocating o d o u r of poison gases— th e form er from th e ra d ia to r, th e la tte r from th e e x h a u s t pipe of a so m ew h at m oth-eaten F o rd , t h a t a c o n tin g en t of th e m ig h ty clan of “ M ock T u rtlite s ” — seven in n u m b er— b u rs t upon th e peaceful little v illage of B e d d g elert, tu c k e d aw ay in th e h e a rt of Snow donia, an d rav ag ed th e su rro u n d in g c o u n try fo r a w hole week in J u ly . Such was th e m a n n e r of th e ir doings t h a t a t th e N a tio n a l E isted d fo d th e W elsh b ard s sung a song of th an k sg iv in g for th e e v acu atio n of B ed d g elert by foreign in v ad ers. T ak in g u p th e ir stro n g h o ld in Sygyn T errace th ese seven bold a d v e n tu re rs defied b o th m an an d b east (th e ru m o u r t h a t a k itte n m anaged to in v ad e th e coal cellar is unconfirm ed), an d n e ith e r th e e n tre a tie s of th e villagers (em phasised by m an y ‘ U’s ” an d “ d d ’s ” ), n o r th e e x h a u stio n of th e food supply succeeded in draw in g th e in v ad ers in to th e open. W h e n , how ever, m a tte rs were becom ing u ncom fortable fo r th e T u rtlite s (pronounced T u rtle e ta y s a fte r th e R om an fashion) th ey c ast lots who' should go an d face d e a th upo n th e m o u n ta in s in search for food. The lo t fell upon one N o rm an , a g a lla n t y o u th la te of th e Commerce d e p a rtm e n t, now of th e G asw orks, H u d d ersfield , w ho, a fte r h e a rtb re a k in g farew ells, le ft his com rades and set fo rth arm ed w ith a N o. 2 B row nie C am era an d a w alking stick.

I

U n fo rtu n a te ly h e cam e to grief upo n th e valley, a n d , a fte r p erfo rm in g a sp ira l nose-dive p a in fu lly back to th e stro n g h o ld . T he need of resistance im possible, and accordingly tru c e was

rocky crags w hich su rro u n d the on to his h e ad , he w ended his way m edical assistan ce m ade fu rth e r m ade w ith th e villagers.

F o r several days a fterw ard s th e w ounded w a rrio r p a ra d e d th e stre ets (or r a th e r stre e t, th e re is only one) w ith his h ead sw athed in b an d ag es an d carrying a b a tte re d u m b rella to give head p ro te c tio n , an d th is actio n so roused the sy m p ath y of th e local com m unity t h a t th e v illage policem an took com passion on h im , and by m eans of giving him in co rre ct in fo rm a tio n co n cern in g th e w here­ abouts of a little village, some two m iles d is ta n t, co n triv ed to g e t him on the w rong ’bus and se n t him to C arn arv o n for a d a y ’s re s t in stea d .

E v id e n tly all feelings of anim osity h a d been dispelled by th is tim e fo r th e visitors w ere allowed to1 roam a t leisure and to b a th e in th e g liste n in g w a ters of th e river G w y n an t, th e pools of w hich sw arm ed w ith fish, flies an d tin cans. T h e size of th e fish varied from th re e inches to th re e y ard s (according to w hoever saw th em ). One of th e p a rty h ad th e re m a rk a b le facu lty of alw ays seeing th e la rg e st species while never seeing th e sm aller type.

In o ld e r to prove t h a t th e ascent of Snow don offers no obstacles to the followers of th e sacred T u rtle clan, th e seven set fo rth to clim b i t by one of the m ost difficult ro u te s possible. F o u r hours w ere occupied in th e ascen t, from wrhich m u st be deducted tw e n ty m in u tes for a d ju stm en ts to th e clim b in g rope (one cautious m em ber occupied te n m in u tes in c o n stru ctin g six d oub le ree f k n o ts for his personal safety). F ro m th e su m m it of Snow don th e view7 was stu p en d o u s.

F or m iles in eveiy d irec tio n one could see clouds! clouds! b e a u tifu l clouds, and one T u itlite was so oveicom e by th is m arvellous view t h a t h e gave v e n t to his feelings 6 6

by k ick in g a large stone from th e to p , to th e g re a t discom fort of a c e rta in fem ale sp e c ta to r w ho h ap p en ed to be sta n d in g below . T h e e x o rb ita n t charges m ad e a t th e re fre sh m e n t shack a t th e su m m it called fo r discussion am ong th e m em bers of th e clan , till th e esteem ed pioneer of M ock T u rtlism solved th e problem by g iv in g th e w aitress th e glad eye, an a ctio n w hich b ro u g h t fo rth free te a for him self and lig h te r re fre sh m e n t for th e rest.

T he fa c t t h a t th is “ lig h te r re fre sh m e n t ” consisted solely of w a ter p o in te d conclusively to th e fa c t th a t th e fem in in e in te re s t c en tred only ro u n d him self. T h e descent was m ade in two hours, b u t as c e rta in m em bers of th e p a rty accom plished th e fe a t by descending th e ste ep e r p o rtio n s (th o u g h unw illingly) on th e ir re a r q u a rte rs, th is c a n n o t be claim ed as a record.

A v isit to th e P e n rh y n sla te q u a rrie s, th e larg est in th e w orld, was also m ade, w here souvenirs in th e shape of ru b b e r p ip in g from th e d rillin g p la n t an d stiff necks from th e d ra u g h t in th e q u a rry s h a ft w ere collected. T h e way in w hich th e m en h u n g from th e ir ropes d u rin g th e ir w ork dispelled all doubts as to w h eth er m an is descended from th e ape. T he q u a rrie s w ere indeed a w onderful sig h t, and as one m em ber declared (ev id en tly in e b ria te d by th e exuberance of his own verbosities) w ere a “ m onstrous ed ifica tio n .”

M eanw hile, affairs in B ed d g elert w ere still going well, an d th e in s titu tio n of a jazz b a n d on th e village g reen , com prising one gram ophone, one eg g -b eater, one coffee g rin d e r, one coal shovel an d a tin tra v e llin g tr u n k , did m uch to enliven th e in h a b ita n ts .

T he la st fu ll day of th is d e lig h tfu l holiday was sp e n t on a d a y ’s w alk over som ew hat ro u g h ground to th e g re a t annoyance of one of th e less en erg etic m em bers of th e p a rty who w an ted to know “ w h a t th e B e eth o v en -S ch u b ert ” th ey m e a n t by d rag g in g him all over such rocks. A n o th e r m em ber broke all records a t tig h t-ro p e w alk in g by tra v e rsin g a Sin. p lan k , 60 fee t in len g th , in 2 m ins.

25'55 secs. E v id e n tly th e w atchw ord, “ m em or c a la m ita s,” was n o t lost u p o n him .

W ith m uch solem nity th e clan p a rto o k of its la s t su p p e r, a fte r w hich four m em bers occupied th e ir tim e by g u rg lin g sw eet n o th in g s in to th e y ounger fem ale elem en t of th e local com m unity.

B u t alas! “ O m nibus bonis finis est ” an d th e b rav e (?) a d v en tu rers, or r a th e r six of th e m , d e p a rte d for th e ir hom es b e arin g w ith th em h a p p y m em ories (to say n o th in g of sore feet, d irty lin en , etc.). T he sev en th m em ber, th e pioneer of M ock T u rtlism , rem ain ed b eh in d to gain in sp ira tio n for th e com pilation of th is m agazine.

T he ru m o u r t h a t he has purchased a season tic k e t on th e Snow don S um m it R ailw ay is unconfirm ed, th o u g h th e a m o u n t of te a consum ed up th e re is rep o rted to be ste ad ily increasing.

R . H . CnossLEY.

WHAT m

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THE SUPER MINT LOZENGE m a d e f r o m PURE ENGLISH OIL of PEPPERMINT.

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7

Eclipse M adness.

T is p erh ap s ty p ic al of th e E n g lish people t h a t a n e v e n t such as th e recent eclipse of th e sun should b e m ade th e occasion of social fe stiv ity . T he college a u th o ritie s, ever leaders in such m a tte rs , organised an ex cu rsio n to Giggleswick. I n a d d itio n to hav in g a m ost a ttra c tiv e n am e G igglesw ick was, as one dear old lady h ad it, “ rig h t on th e b e lt of v i t a l i t y !” T h e ra ilw a y com pany agreed to ta k e us to o u r d e stin a tio n in tim e to have an early b re a k fa s t a n d to secure a good view -point for th e eclipse. W e fo u n d o u t la te r how m ista k e n a railw ay company can be.

I

A ccordingly a d istinguished p a rty assem bled on th e H u d d ersfield sta tio n p la t­ form a t 2-30 on th e m o rn in g of J u n e 2 9 th . E v ery o n e seem ed in h ig h sp irits and wished everyone else good m o rn in g ju st to show how w ide aw ak e we w ere. There was some delay in finding our coach, a n d th e p a rty h a d a m o st re fre sh in g little s p rin t u p and dow n th e p latfo rm in search of it.

I t is said t h a t th e h u m an is least active a b o u t th e h o u r of tw o in th e m orning.

W e discovered t h a t th is is also th e case w ith excursion tra in s . W e craw led by easy stages to L eeds, w here our engine took its first long re st. A t S hipley we saw the first grey of daw n, and w ere greeted by a dow npour of ra in . A t S k ip to n we were able to see a cloud w hich was obscuring th e sun. T his b ro u g h t iro n ic cheers from th e schoolboys in th e n e x t coach.

A s we drew n e a re r G igglesw ick th e halts becam e longer and m ore fre q u e n t. D u rin g a p a rtic u la rly long w a it a t H ellifield we c a u g h t our first glim pse of th e sun w ith th e p a rtia l eclipse ju s t showing.

E very o n e sm iled and ta lk e d of rosy daw ns a n d how fresh th e co u n try sid e looked.

T he engine d riv er clim bed o u t of his en g in e a n d g a th e re d a few flowers, w hich he presen ted to a lady tea ch e r in one of th e first coaches.

H ow ever, th e clouds soon re a p p e a re d , an d we b eg an to d esp air of seeing the to ta l eclipse. A fte r a w hile our engine grew restiv e an d d rew us betw een high em b an k m en ts some six m iles from Gigglesw ick.

H e re we could n o t see even the clouds obscuring th e sun, and h ere i t seem ed as if we w ere doom ed to stay for ever.

M oreover we found to our dism ay t h a t th e re was only h a lf-a n -h o u r to go before to ta lity . Some of th e p a rty took u p a sta n d on th e e m b a n k m e n t. O ne well known m em ber of th e staff m oved o u t of e arsh o t of th e ladies and gave h is opinion of railw ay o rg an isatio n in forceful and m ost unacadem ic lan g u ag e. A n o th e r m em ber w alked along th e t ia in an d interview ed th e d riv e r.

A lth o u g h we h ad quite despaired of seeing th e to ta l eclipse we all fe lt, as Y o rk sh ire m e n , th a t we ought to have been ta k e n to o u r d e stin a tio n in tim e to ta k e p a r t in th e lam en tatio n s.

Ten m inutes before to ta lity th e w atchers on th e e m b a n k m e n t an n o u n ced th a t th e clouds w ere clearing.

W e w ere all p re p a rin g to join th em w hen th e tra in began to m ove. T his was so u n ex p ected t h a t som e of th e p a rty , in th e ir surprise, w ere le ft behind.

T he la st few m iles in to Giggleswick w ere covered in reco rd tim e. I n fact, our tra in n e a ily oveishot Giggleswick S ta tio n a lto g e th e r.

T h e re was a w ild scram ble o u t of th e tr a in and a dash across th e lines to th e sta tio n y a rd , w here we arrived ju s t in tim e to hav e a w onderful view of th e corona A s soon as th e to ta l eclipse was over th e p a rty dispersed in search of b reak fast, ome found an in n w here p a rtic u la rly stim u la tin g coffee could be p u rch ased . One m em ber of th is p a rty was h e ard to d eclare a fte rw a rd s t h a t if h e ’d h ad fo u r cups 8

of t h a t coffee before to ta lity th e spectacle w ould h av e been im proved o u t of all reco g n itio n .

Som e of th e p a rty b re a k faste d in th e open, an d w ere la te r seen g racefu lly grouped a ro u n d th e V illage Cross sleepily a w aitin g tr a in tim e.

O thers w e n t fo r a long ram b le over th e fells.

A lth o u g h th e com pany was draw n m ostly from th e staff, stu d e n ts w ill b e h ap p y to h e a r t h a t th e re was re m a rk a b ly little w ild b eh av io u r.

T h ere was ju s t one in c id e n t a t L eeds w here one m em ber of th e staff, who h ad g o t o u t to re st, was seen b ra n d is h in g a beer b o ttle on th e p la tfo rm .

O th e r m em bers of th e p a rty im m ed iately follow ed, an d found, I believe to th e ir d isa p p o in tm e n t, t h a t th e b o ttle was q u ite em p ty and was draw n from a case of e m p ty b o ttles.

A lto g e th e r th e p a rty m a in ta in e d a s p irit of d isp o rtm e n t w ith d ig n ity th a t w ould have gladdened th e h e a rt of M r. Sydney W ebb.

— Stargazer.

-------------------##-------------------

THINGS WE WANT TO KNOW. T h e n am e of th e gen tlem an c a rry in g m ack in to sh and goloshes, w ho w as so “ dry ” on re tu rn in g to the sta tio n from th e tow n a t G igglesw ick.

W h a t m em b er of th e S taff a rra n g ed to view the eclipse first a t G igg lesw ick (w here a p e rfe c t view w as obtained) and changed his m ind, th en a t S o u th p o rt (w here a good view w as seen) and ch an g ed his m ind, an d finally took his friend to a place w here n o t a glim p se of the to ta l eclipse w as c au g h t ?

W h a t th e b o ttle s had co ntained w hich w ere found em pty, a t L eed s, u n d er the se at of a c e rta in H e a d of D e p a rtm e n t, w ho slept soundly d uring th e rem ain d er of the jo u rn ey to G igglesw ick ?

— Curious.

A Lay of H uddersfield. (.Inspired by a Southerner's astonishment at the number of butchers shops in the district.)

T H E people of H u n tin g d o n live upon hay ; T h e S co tsm an he lives upon w hisky ; B u t th e gay lad w ho com es from up H uddersfield w ay H e lives upon lam b and grow s frisky.

B y p u rch asin g m u tto n he ch eap en s the wool, W h ic h brings m oney to buy som e m ore m u tto n ; So count him , before you account him a fool, A n econom ist ra th e r th a n g lutton.

In Y orkshire ’tis said “ M en are stro n g i’th arm A nd th ick i’ the head bu t I doubt it ; F o r th e m an w ho eats m eat to help him get bread, H is head m u st have som ething ab o u t it.

T h e people of H u d d e rsfield w isely have planned T o scorn both hay fodder and w h isk y ; A nd to live upon lam b and the fat of th e land, A nd on wool, noils an d w aste and grow frisky.

9

C .R .

T he T otal Eclipse of A .D . 1999.

A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE. N th e U n iv e rsity College of H u d d e rsfield , a t L in d le y , classes w ere suspended for th e day of th e long looked-for to ta l eclipse; th e first visib le in th is c o u n try since 1927.

A large televisor h a d been in sta lle d in th e H a ll to en ab le stu d e n ts and o th e r d istinguished persons w ho rem ain ed in H u d d e rsfield to see th e eclipse th e re , and to h e a r th e accom panying w ireless lec tu re by P ro fesso r S ta r r , th e h o ld er of th e C h a ir in A stro -P h y sics a t th e new U n iv e rs ity of B lack p o o l__a risin g in d u stria l tow n since w ould-be holiday m ak e rs h a d th e good sense to d e se rt i t M any m em bers of th e College, how ever, w ere tra v e llin g to th e to ta lity b e lt in C ornw all by special a ir m ail from th e College q u a d ra n g le .

I

The ste n to ria n voice of th e 6-30 e d itio n of T he H u d d ersfield O ral E x a m in e r on th e previous evening h a d assured citizens, in accents t h a t could be h e a rd h a lf over th e tow n, t h a t th e p e rm a n e n t floating sta tio n of th e M in istry of A g ric u ltu re an d W e a th e r, established S o u th -W est of th e Scilly Isles, was successfully d isp ersin g all clouds, and a p erfect view of th e eclipse was c e rta in .

A f u r th e r an d less pleasing an n o u n cem en t was t h a t th e H ig h C om m issioner for C ornw all-elected local a u th o ritie s were all superseded as e a rly as 1930— h a d s ta te d officially t h a t all persons e n te rin g th e C ounty except on business w ould re q u ire his p e rm it, fo r w hich a fee of five shillings w ould be ch arg ed , o r w ould be a rre ste d as tra m p s and vagabonds. r T he aged P rofessor Owen— a son of th e d istin g u ish ed e d ito r of “ T h e M ock ° M ail, College th e a ir to th e

^•Lf r ° m 1 1926 -t 0 1949~ a m an of old fashioned w ays, b o u g h t h is “ D aily th e sole surviving new spaper a p p e a rin g in p rin te d fo rm , as h e cam e to th e on th e m o rn in g of th e eclipse, and o p en in g i t out as he sped S o u th w ard s in lin e r, w ith th e College p a rty of some seven h u n d re d a b o ard , was ab le to read assem bled com pany th e follow ing p ro cla m a tio n of th e Im p e ria l A ir Bus

n llaving re g a rd to th e larg e n u m b e r of persons e n te rin g C ornw all by road, w a ter or on foot, w ith in te n t to use th e u p p e r atm o sp h ere th io u g h w hich to view th e fo rth co m in g spectacle, finds i t necessary to p ro tec t its rig h ts u n d e r th e A ir N a v ig atio n A c t, 1967, by w hich th e T ru s t was g ra n te d exclusive use of all a ir m ore th a n 500ft. from th e e a r t h ’s surface. I n p u rsu a n ce of its powers u n d e r th e A c t afo rem en tio n ed , th e I .A .B .T . gives w a rn in g t h a t th e w hole a rea of to ta lity w ill be obscured by sm oke clouds, e x c e p t over th e farm s and estates on th e a tta c h e d list. The c h arg e fo r adm ission to these p riv a te lands will be 10s. 6d. p e r head. C h ild ren h a lf-p ric e .”

A lth o u g h th e an n o u n cem en t caused some c o n ste rn a tio n am ony th e p ro v id en t m em bers of th e com pany none, of course, dream ed of q u estio n in g p e rfe ct p ro p rie ty of th e action ta k e n by th e T ru s t in p ro te c tio n of its rig h ts in a sh o rt tim e th e p a rty duly lan d ed , am id a v a st concourse of sightseers, on of th e grounds scheduled.

less th e and one

H e re w ere to be found th e in ev itab le scientific ex p ed itio n s, p h o to g rap h e rs k m em ato g ra p h ers, re fre sh m e n t c atere rs, bookies ta k in g bets on th e n u m b er of solar prom inences, television m echanists, professional and a m a te u r, th e loud speakers of e news agencies, and th e haw kers of goggles.

H e re , too, in th e booths of th e I n te rn a tio n a l O ptical C om pany one could undergo tre a tm e n t for th e te m p o ry super10

sen sitising of th e re tin a , so t h a t one might- see m ore of th e corona.

M ind and m em ory tr a in in g tre a tm e n t was also available, to assist one in securing an d re ta in in g a c c u ra te im p re ssio n s; b u t th e m ost successful speculators were u n d o u b ted ly th e ag en ts of th e I n s titu te of P ra c tic a l P sycho-P hysiology, who were selling a p re p a ra ­ tio n , in th e form of pills, w hich was g u a ra n te e d to accelerate one’s whole r a te of liv in g tw e n ty fold fo r th e space of five m in u te s ; so t h a t one m ig h t have a view of th e eclipse la stin g a p p a re n tly tw e n ty tim es th e actu al period.

T h e S u n ’s crescent was n a rro w in g stead ily . I n b u t a few m in u tes i t w ould be obscured e n tire ly .

T he a ir vessels of th e T ru s t w ere risin g to th e ir statio n s for sm oke em ission.

T h ro u g h d ark en ed glasses th e hushed m u ltitu d e was w atohing e x p e c ta n tly .

T h en suddenly th e b razen voice of a new s agency m ach in e broke silence w ith its sta te m e n t of co p y rig h t, followed by s ta rtlin g news.

T he newly established firm of B le in ste in ’s P a te n ts L td . had ju st m ade p ublic its in te n tio n to u tilise th e eclipse fo r th e purpose of te s tin g a p p a ra tu s recen tly in v en ted by th e fam ous P ro fesso r B lein stein . I t was hoped to show t h a t lig h t rays could be affected in th e sam e w ay as by in ten se g ra v ita tio n a l fields, an d w ith its a p p a ra tu s in stalled a t Sw ansea th e C om pany expected to deviate th e S u n ’s rays betw een th e E a r th and th e M oon’s rim , so> sh iftin g th e b e lt of to ta lity some tw e n ty m iles to th e N o rth .

People rem oved th e ir goggles and sta re d a t one a n o th e r in dism ay.

Some affected in c r e d u lity ; b u t th e w ork of B lein stein was alread y too well estab lish ed for th e re su lt to be in d o u b t. T h re e m in u te s left, an d th e edge of th e to ta lity b e lt w ould be fu lly a m ile aw ay. I t was im possible to be th e re ! I t chanced, how ever, t h a t a stu d e n t of th e B iological D e p a rtm e n t, m ore in te re ste d in th e pills previously re fe rre d to th a n in th e eclipse, h ad a lre ad y swallowed his p ill, an d his biological tim e r a te h a d accelerated as ad v ertised . To him th e voice of th e news an n o u n cer h a d th ere fo re seem ed in cred ib ly slow, a n d , suddenly realisin g a possibility of th e s itu a tio n , he conveyed i t to his friends. “ T he p ills ,” he said , sp eak in g w ith d e lib e ra te slowness, lest th e a ctu a l ra p id ity of his accelerated speech should re n d e r him u n in te llig ib le , “ th e pills w ill give us n e arly an h o u r. W e can do i t e a sily .”

A n d off he s ta rte d , w alking N o rth w a rd s w ith th e speed of an express tra in .

P ra c tic a lly everyone h ad purchased a p ill.

Those a ro u n d swallowed th e irs h a stily . O thers followed suit. J u s t th e n th e sun seem ed to sh ift S outhw ards in th e h e a v e n s; m ore of th e crescent ap p eared . I t was clear t h a t th e B lein stein e x p erim e n t h a d succeeded. T he la s t few d o u b ters h a stily chewed u p th e ir pills, an d in a few m om ents th e incredulous a ir pilots above w ere am azed to see a vast d a rk mass of h u m a n ity m oving N o rth w a rd s over hedgerow s and ditches a t a speed of some e ig h t\ miles an h o u r. H u m a n flesh an d bone w ere never m ea n t to sta n d th e stra in . M en dam aged th e ir fe e t as th e y step p ed , others sm ashed them selves ag ain st w alls. The m ore fo rtu n a te found t h a t th ey could ju m p in cred ib ly , and fo rtu n a te ly th ey cam t dow n a t th e n o rm al r a te d eterm in ed by g ra v ity , otherw ise th e whole m ig h t have p erish ed . A s i t was th e ir tra c k was soon strew n w ith th e w ounded and disabled.

S uddenly th e Sun jerk ed back in th e h eavens,— th e B lein stein a p p a ra tu s h ad b ro k en dow n. T h e m erest tra c e of b rig h t lim rem ain ed .

T he m oon’s black disc slid over it, th e sta rs shone o u t, an d th e corona appeared in all its artificial-looking g lo ry ,— till th e tid e of liquid gold poured over th e m oon’s edge again an d b lo tted it o u t.

T hus i t was t h a t th e aged P rofessor Owen, w ho, ever d is tru stfu l of new -fangled ideas, h a d purchased no p ill, was th e sole m em ber of th e College to see th e re m a rk a b le eclipse of 1999.

— C .R .

11

T he T ale of a Trip.

By “ One Who Went.”

I

T was on th e 2 9th dav of J u n e t h a t te n of th o se whose fa te i t is to pass th e ir days in th e learn ed p recin cts of th e H .T .C 1. m e t to g e th e r ; arm ed w ith m ackintoshes and some w ith c am era s; to ram b le to H a rd c a stle C raggs.

T h e tra m jo u rn ey to E lla n d , and th en ce th e sh o rt railw ay r u n to H ebden B ridge, w ere q u ite u n e v e n tfu l, a n d i t was in sta id procession t h a t th e p a rty set off to w alk for th e C rag g s. B u t soon m isfo rtu n e b ro k e u p o n o u r p a th , w hen th e two young ladies who were lead in g th e p a rty in v irtu e of th e ir supposed know ledge of th e way declared a t th e to p of a very steep h illside t h a t th e y should h av e tu rn e d aside a t th e bo tto m .

O h th e m oans an d th e groans t h a t w ere u tte re d on t h a t h i l l ! Some said they w ould n o t descend t h a t perilous slope ag ain , b u t so i t h ad to be, fo r no o th e r way could be found. H ow ever, before th e d escent th e p a rty sa t dow n on a grassy slope and fortified “ th e in n e r m a n ” w hile th e ow ners of cam eras took some ra th e r te rrify in g snaps of th e anim als a t food.

T he m eal over and th e w retched descent accom plished th e v icin ity of th e C raggs was arriv e d a t in a sh o rt tim e.

T h e jo u rn ey was b rig h te n e d b y th e killing of lions (in th e shape of a n ts), w hich w ere m et in large n u m b ers on th e way.

O ur a rriv a l a t th e Craggs was m ark ed by th e discovery of c e rta in slot m achines from w hich m ost of us, being young and foolish, drew p h o to g rap h s of fu tu re wives o r husbands. Some drew “ c h a ra c te rs ,” w hich w ere in several cases q u ite a p p ro p ria te .

Six of th e p a rty th e n w e n t fo r a row an th e d u ck p o n d . One of th e crew of one b o a t enlivened th e proceedings by d ro p p in g his o ar, sh o o tin g o u t his legs and lying down full len g th . Oh for a cam era t h e n ! T h en a b e a u tifu l u n k n o w n m aiden hailed th e two fa ir sw ains in th e o th e r b o at.

She was e v id e n tly sm itte n by th eir handsom e appearance', b u t th ey , being b a sh fu l (ahem !) row ed aw ay in g re a t haste.

M eanw hile th e re s t of th e p a rty w an d ered along th e riv ersid e in search of new b e a u ty spots.

A fte r a w hile cam e te a , and th e n for some of th e b ra v e r ones th e swings, a la s !

Tw o of th ese afterw ard s enjoyed an enforced re st, w hile on e u n fo rtu n a te y outh en d eav o u red to stop a sw ing w ith his m o u th , w ith r a th e r p a in fu l resu lts.

T he r e tu rn journey was a very m erry one. M r. S------------ e n te rta in e d us w ith his d e lig h tfu l sin g in g u n til his neighbours suppressed him . A t Sow erby B ridge— by w hich tim e th e p a rty was com pletely irresp o n sib le for its actio n s— th e re were some am using exchanges w ith th e sta tio n staff concerning th e need to change at H a lifa x . A large n u m b er of questions were asked an d answ ers received before we g a th e re d t h a t th e tra in w ent now here n e a r H a lifa x . T h e one m em b er of th e party who had h ith e rto behaved q u ite harm lessly asked th e q u estio n fo r th e last tim e, u n aw are of th e fact t h a t th e sta tio n staff had by now reached b o ilin g p o in t, and it was w ith pained su rp rise, am id la u g h te r from th e re st, t h a t he san k back on his seat a fte r h e arin g w h a t th e p o rte r had to s a y !

A n d so we a rriv e d a t E lla n d , and from th e re hom e by tra m , all of us agreeing t h a t in sp ite of th e d u ll w e ath e r we had enjoyed a very jolly tim e .

— W inifred S pence .

12

D ram atic Criticism. “ THE HEIR-AT-LAW.”

(George Coleman the Younger).

Perfo rm ed hy the Technical College D r a m a t i c Society, CAST: Baron Duberlay (alias Daniel D ow las) Frank Jenkinson The Hon. Dick D ow las (his son) J. Eldred Hall H enry Moreland Cyril B. Shore Mr. S tea d fa st (M oreland’s friend) Edward R. Sw ift Zekiel H om espun Thom as Mercer John W alter B, Hanson

Saturday, A p ril 2nd, 1927.

Dr. Peter Panglos, LL.D. A S.S. Philip Booth Lady Duberlay (alias Debora D owlas) Rita Lawson Caroline Dormer Marion Kaye Ciceley H om espun Florence T attersall Kenrick Alice Livesey W aitress at the Blue Boar J e ssie W addington

A d ra m a tic c ritic is n o t in a very en v iab le position w hen he feels t h a t he has to be very severe an d sincere, w hich h e know s m ay arouse some in d ig n a tio n .

B u t I should like to ask th e m em bers of th e cast of “ T he H e ir-A t-L a w ” to please ta k e th is in th e s p irit in w hich i t is w ritte n , nam ely, a g enu in e a tte m p t to w hip u p th e re a l ta le n t— w hich is decidedly th e re — an d encourage th em to m ak e such criticism s unnecessary.

One p o in t I should like to m en tio n is t h a t no a m a te u r p lay ers could be ex p ected to p lay th e ir p a rts to perfection w ith a gallery audience such as a tte n d e d th e p erfo rm an ce, whom i t w ould be well if th ey stu d ied a few of th e first rules in e tiq u e tte , th e forem ost of w hich is th o u g h tfu ln ess an d consideration for th e ir fellow beings.

S p eak in g as a w hole th e perfo rm an ce was n o t a success.

O ne o u tsid er k now ing none of th e cast said to m e t h a t she was absolutely bored stiff.

W e s a t th e whole tim e h oping t h a t th e stag e frig h t would w ear off and th in g s w ould b e tte r them selves in sp ite of th e row dyism of a corner of th e g allery , b u t no, n o th in g h a p p en e d , an d we w e n t hom e very disap p o in ted and saying th e usual th in g s a b o u t a m a te u r players.

Special recom m endation and indeed th e h ig h est p raise is due to th e a ctin g of M iss R ita L aw son, who m ade a splendid L ad y D u b erly also th e sam e p raise to M iss A lice L ivesey as K e n ric k , b o th knew how to act, knew th e necessity of fo rg e ttin g them selves a n d living th e ir p a rt a n d also th e way to use th e ir voices to be h e a rd a t th e “ back of th e p i t . ” I t was a g re a t p ity t h a t th e y a p p eared so ra re ly . Miss M ario n K a y e and Miss F lorence T a tte rsa ll have hidden ta le n t, and w hen th e y becom e less self-conscious we m ay see some good w ork.

T he m ale m em bers of th e cast w ere on th e w hole nervous.

M r. E . Sw ift shewed i t by fa r th e m ost, a n d he w ould be well advised to consider and pay m ore a tte n tio n to “ m a k e -u p ” and learn his p a rt, and live it. T h e g re a te st praise is d u e to th e a ctin g of M r. P h ilip B ooth, w ho gave an alm ost p erfect re n d e rin g of D r. P e te r P an g les, L L .D ., A S .S .

T he m ost scandalous d isa p p o in tm e n t was th e a c tin g of M r. T. M ercer, whose fam e had preceded him (and well deserved too) as b ein g a m em ber of th e T hespians. I t is a g re a t p ity h e ever took a p a r t a t all w hen his h e a r t was n o t in it, and no one was deceived by his h id in g his book of w ords in a cap a n d re a d in g n early th e whole of th e p a rt.

I n sp ite of all th is I am decidedly looking forw ard to th e n e x t p ro d u ctio n , and w ish th e b est of wishes to th e D ra m a tic Society and every success in th e ir w ork.

— M .E .

(The E d ito r rem in d s readers th a t any view s expressed by correspondents an d contributors are not necessarily those o f the “ Mock T u rtle ” officially ).

13

MUSINGS. I—J A V E you seen th e h areb ells blow ing A A O n fragile stem s of green, H a v e you seen th em u n h a rm e d grow ing, R ough bram b le leav es betw een ?

C ry sta l-g listen in g rain d ro p s gleam ing O n ferns, w h ere b ree ze s stra y , G olden sh a fts of su n lig h t stream in g O n p u rp le c ra n esb ill g ay ?

P in k herb -ro b erts, w ide-eyed, peeping, ’M ong lace-like, crim son leaves, D row sy flies a-d ro n in g sleeping, W h ile, n ear, th e spider w eaves ?

H a v e you seen th e d a y lig h t lingering In shadow ed g len an d ghyll, S o ftly gliding, g en tly fingering E a c h fern and so b b in g rill ?

S ilv er-sta rred , th e stitc h w o rt, shining T h ro ’ g rass all dew y w et, C ran n ied w alls, w ith m ossy lining, F o r foxglove fa irie s ’ fe te s?

T h e n y o u ’ve fe lt th e sw eet caressin g O f N a tu r e ’s w o n d er h an d s, And you know th e joy, th e b lessin g O f O ne w ho u n d e rstan d s.

Agnes W right.

THE TECHNICAL COLLEGE. { W i th p r o f o u n d apologies to the B a r d o f A v o n ) T h is learndd th ro n e of “ sw o ts,” th is c u ltu red coll., T h is hall of a rtistry , th is seat of love, T h is o th er O xford, d em i-’varsity , T h is fo rtre ss b u ilt by O dersfelt for h erself A g ain st the ignorance of her children.

T h is h ap p y breed of “ T y k e s ,” th is d o ctrin ed crew ; T h is b eam ing light set o ’er a sm oke b a th e d tow n W h ic h serves its stu d e n ts as th eir hom e, O r as a sta n d on w hich to set th eir feet B efore th ey plough the w o rld ’s v a st plain s beyond.

T h is blessed blot, th is fold, our one an d only “ T e c .”

T h is nurse, th is team in g th ro n g of b rain y y o u th s, Som e skilled in “ to ts ,” and o th ers w ise in c h em istry R enow ned for th eir deeds w ith pen an d ink, E x a m in a tio n s passed and hon o u rs w on ; T a u g h t sw eetly by a kindly sta ff (!)

B e n ea th “ M ock T u r tle ’s ” golden w ing, A w orthy th ro n g of b rain s developing.

A nd then th e staff, the dear, dear staff B e a r for th e ir high ideals and noble w ork W ith dusty chalk upon a b lack en ed board N ow w ith S e p tem b er all a re m et T o tell to pupils new th e sam e old tale.

So now goodbye— m y w o rth y S h a k e sp ea re I can n o t keep th e pace.

F o r how can a hum ble ass like m e M odel m y lines on a poet like th ee ?— E .E .

14

Sir S tu d en t of Portugal.

B y “ T r i p e i r o .”

H IS little story is in sp ired by an everyday sig h t— a P o rtu g u ese stu d e n t stru g g lin g w ildly w ith his gown in th e sudden gust of w ind w hich has ju st sw irled dow n th e stre e t. H e is a handsom e fellow, ta ll, d a rk , and w ith th e eyes of rom ance— a m odel for his fellows P e rh a p s his E n g lish cousins are in te re ste d in him ?

T

I n th e e a rly stages of his career he dresses like every o th e r sane in d iv id u a l, th e only d istin g u ish in g m ark of his stu d e n tsh ip being th e le a th e r despatch case w ith its flowing rib b o n s w hich he in v a ria b ly carries.

These decorative rib b o n s denote his F a c u lty --Y ello w for M edicine an d so o n —and are presen ted w hen he reaches his th ird s tu d e n t y e ar. H e th e n im m ediately ro u n d s u p all his relativ es, young or old, and m akes th em sign his rib b o n s, w hich th u s soon lose th e ir glow ing colours and becom e a d in g y b lu e, as fam ilies are usu ally r a th e r large in P o r tu g a l!

H e n e x t becom es an “ i n ” stu d e n t, t h a t is, he goes to th e U n iv e rsity tow n, e n te rs a pensao (boarding-house) an d dons th e scholastic dress, w hich is th e sam e alike for rich or poor.

I t consists (shades of th e H .T .C . !) of a frock co at, black tie (w hich m ay be of th e com m on k n itte d v a rie ty , flowing c ra v a t, or c u rt bow, b u t rr u s t be b lack), and spotlessly w h ite cuffs and collar. T h ro u g h th e left b u tto n h o le of his c o at is tie d a rib b o n , th e colour of w hich corresponds to his F a c u lty .

T he fin ish in g touch is given by th e gown— tru ly a clerical g a rb ! H e m u st e ith e r go b a re h e a d e d , p u llin g his gown over his head to p ro te c t him from th e ra in , or w ear a “ b e re ta ” (m o to rin g e n th u siasts w ill have no difficulty in recognising th is form of h e a d g e a r!). A s w ith our stu d e n ts, th e older his gow n, th e m ore resp ectab le he is considered, an d stu d e n ts jum p on th e ir gowns and d ra g them in th e d u st to pass as “ a ris to c ra ts .” T he cloak is w orn in various modes to com ply w ith th e moods of th e w e ath e r. W h en th e sun shines i t is c arried in th e h a n d or slung over th e sh o u ld er ; w hen th e w ind blows it is d rap ed on th e shoulders an d allowed to float on th e breeze, or w orn toga w ise; w hen th e clouds open i t is w rap p ed closely ro u n d th e body to give w h at p ro tectio n it m ay. On cold and fro sty n ig h ts, th e stu d e n t resem bles th e sw ashbuckling hero of D ’A r ta g n a n ’s tim e , as he slinks aro u n d m uffled to th e eyebrow s in his volum inous cloak.

So m uch for his a p p earan ce— now for his little foibles and h a b its.

I t is th e custom of m ost stu d e n ts, I am a fra id , to w ork spasm odically r a th e r th a n co n tin u o u sly , b u t of all casual labourers I have ever seen, th e P o rtu g u e se s tu d e n t is th e m o st casual. H e is a to ta lly d ifferen t being from th e E ng lish stu d e n t, and is, as a ru le , too in d o le n t or occupied w ith affairs of th e h e a rt to tro u b le about rag g in g , t h a t suprem e d e lig h t of our h e arts. [M ore shades— th is tim e of room N o.

45!]

A s a s tu d e n t he is e n title d to c e rtain privileges w hich would seem to us th e h e ig h t of rudeness. T he fu tu re ru lers of P o rtu g a l and th e flowers of its aristocracy are allow ed to o b stru c t th e p ath w ay of any fa ir dam sel and . . e r . . so o n ! As m ost stu d e n ts come of good fam ily th ey have th e e n try in to th e b est society of th e tow n b u t p refe r th e gay life, an d “ m ore room to w ork i n .” P e rh a p s th is is the reason for th e lack of c a b a re t e n te rta in m e n t, e tc ., in C oim bra, th e stro n g h o ld of U n iv e rsity life in P o rtu g a l.

M aybe th e a u th o ritie s hope th a t by rem oving te m p ta tio n th ey m ay induce th e b lig h te rs to w o rk ! H e re in P o rto , h e sw aggers 15

in to such places lik e a lo rd , an d e v e ry th in g is p u t a t his disposal, for " S ir S tu d e n t,” and m ay h e n o t be as ru d e as he pleases?

is h e n o t

G enerally, he is en am o u red of a t least th re e g irls, one officially an d th e o th er tw o unofficially. T h e official sw ee th e art, w ho i° usually a g irl of good fam ily , is alw ays m ore th a n a d eq u ately chaperoned w hen o u t in his com pany, in itself a rare occurrence, and if h e is allowed in h e r hom e (a great^ privilege) he can only see her in th e presence of a chap ero n or a full fam ily g a th e rin g . S heer boredom w ith th is sta te of affairs leads to th e m ak in g of c la n d estin e frien d sh ip s, m an ag ed som ew hat a fte r th is fashion. H e has seen h e r o ften an d has a v io le n t pash on h e r , she in h e r tu r n has noticed him an d b e tra y e d a n in te re s t in h im .

H e , of course contrives to be alw ays accid en tally m eetin g h e r. H e w ill ta k e a se at in th e p ictu res o r th e a tre opposite to h e r so t h a t h e can le t his eyes fea st on h e r b e a u ty . H e p u ts his h an d k erch ie f to his m o u th , she notices an d does likew ise a p p ro v in g ly .

T his signifies “ D o you love m e !” “ Y es, I d o .” . . . (H in ts for th e A r t D e p a rtm e n t!)

H e will th e n find he has to v isit a frie n d living n e a r th e house she in h a b its, and th u s discovers h e r address an d fu ll p a rtic u la rs . H e th e n w rites a le tte r d eclaring his passion, an d if she approves of him she answ ers, and gives him one whole week s tr ia l a t th e g rille de fer of th e m assive door. I f he has g o t i t b ad ly he w ill be seen o u tside th e house every n ig h t from h a lf-p a st eleven till th re e in th e m o rn in g , e ith e r holding his adored o n e’s lily-w hite h a n d th ro u g h th e grille or rhap so d isin g n e a th h e r w indow . I f he is an e x p e rt m usician he will p lay sleepy, h a u n tin g tangos or passionate M axixes on his g u ita r, and if genius b u rn s im provise th e w onderful serenades fo r w hich th e stu d e n ts of C oim bra a re fam ed.

E ven official lovers are n ever allowed to m eet alone before th e ir m a rria g e dayand fa th e rs are s tric t here as elsew here. Such in terco u rse as th e y can c o n triv e is carried on a t d ead of n ig h t w ith o u t th e know ledge of th e fam ily. Som e poor fellows I have seen looking u p a t th e ir loves six stories above th e ir h e a d s ! I n these d esp erate cases th ey correspond by m eans of w eighted le tte rs an d cords.

On m ost afternoons and evenings th e fem ale p o p u latio n of th e tow n is to be found a t th e windows of th e houses, looking o u t an d ta k in g th e a ir. T his is th e stu d e n ts tim e for prow ling ro u n d an d m ak in g rem ark s to th e girls. I f one cap tu res his fancy, h e will ask if he m ay come to h e r window to ta lk to h e r a t n ig h t. If she sh u ts th e window as a sign of in d ig n a n t d en ial he will sing a little song b e g in n in g “ E u q u e ro ,” e tc ., and if she is a g irl of s p irit she will rep ly “ O ra vai tu , ora v ai! v ai! tu bem quero, nao posso a i ! a i ! ” T h is little song will n o t b e ar tra n s la tio n , b u t i t is too ty p ic al of th e s tu d e n t life to be o m itted . T he follow ing n ig h t will see him a t h e r window.

A nd th e re let us leave our s tu d e n t, in his m agic atm osphere of m y stery , a cloaked figure of rom ance, seren ad in g his loved one in th e golden m oonlight.

H . F rance.

The Printers of this Review are also producers of High-class Lithographic and Letterpress Printing, Account Books and General Binding, Show Cards, Catalogues, Advert.

Folders—in fact everything connected with Print.

GEO. GREENWOOD

&SON,

Telephone 2587.

Market St., HUDDERSFIELD. Established 1831.

16

C2 Hg O (absolute).

A Fantasy.

H E day was h o t, outside th e sun shcne b r illia n tly ; b u t th e lectu re room was s tu ffy ; m ingled odours of e th e r a n d su lp h u re tte d hydrogen p ervaded th e a tm o sp h ere, and Jo h n so n fe lt vaguely d iscontented w ith th e w orld in gen eral.

H e stro v e h a rd to c o n ce n tra te his a tte n tio n on th e le c tu re ; b u t his m in d tu rn e d to b ro o d in g on th e fa te in sto re, w ere he b u t one of th e archangels, for careless lab. stew ards an d leaky K ip p s ’ b o ttle s, to w hich he a ttrib u te d th e periodical gas a tta c k s in th e d e p a rtm e n t.

T

“ I f we now m e lt a little of th is fa t in a te s t-tu b e ,” th e Professor was saying, “ a n d add some caustic soda, we shall o b tain sodium ste a ra te , or com m on soap, and g ly cerine ” ................ “ H a v e I got to p u t u p w ith the usual tr e a tm e n t a g a in ,” in te rru p te d a th in h ig h -p itch e d voice from th e bench, and Jo h n so n saw, w ith m ild su rp ise, a te st-tu b e sta n d in g u p on tw o th in tr a n s p a re n t legs, w aving a spider-like arm an d addressing th e P rofessor. “ H ow w ould you like to be boiled over a flame day a fte r d a y ,” co n tin u ed th e te s t-tu b e te stily , “ till a m erciful carelessness ended y o u r m iseries in th e w aste ■bucket?”

A look of p ain ed su rp rise suffused th e P r o f ’s, countenance. “ Y ou will c e rta in ly do y o u r p a r t to -d ay , ju st as I do m in e ,” he said gravely, proceeding to lift th e tu b e from th e bench betw een his th u m b and forefinger.

T h e te s t-tu b e sta n d rocked w ith e x citem en t. The tu b es were clam bering out on to it. “ W e will sta n d i t no lo n g e r,” th e y shouted in chorus. “ Y o u r p a rt in d e e d ,” added a big boiling tu b e. “ A ll you do is to sta n d th e re an d boss us ab o u t an d t a l k ; any fool could do t h a t . ” “ P e rh a p s th e g e n tlem an who is so desirous of m aking him self h e a r d ,” re m a rk e d th e P rofessor, in his usual to n e w hen reb u k in g a stu d e n t, “ will come u p h ere and give th e class th e b enefit of his w isdom .”

A b o ttle stepped down from th e shelf beside th e b lack b o ard , stre tc h in g o u t an elastic leg and reach in g th e bench in one strid e , w ith no a p p a re n t difficulty. The P ro f, a p p ea re d to be grow ing sm aller and th e th in g s on th e bench larg er.

T h is acid ity on th e P ro fesso r’s p a r t ,” said th e sodium h y d ra te b o ttle cau stically , “ is som ething I have alw ays disapproved of.

W e shall have to n e u tra liz e h im .”

T he sto p p e r of th e am m onia b o ttle flew o u t, w hich rem inded Jo h n so n t h a t the room was h o t. H e h ad n o t noticed i t d u rin g th e last few m in u te s; b u t i t now seem ed te n tim es h o tte r.

I am -on ’y-a com m on com m ercial chem ical, said th e b o ttle , b u t I reckon I ’m good for t h a t job. L e t m e have h im .”

T h e P ro fesso r ap p eared to be overcom e by th e fum es. A couple of re to rt-sta n d s an d a b u re tte c a u g h t him and dragged him on to th e bench. H e was q u ite sm all ro w . L iftin g him w ith ease th ey pushed him in to a beaker.

T he “ u n d e r g r a d ” in Jo h n so n began to rouse.

H e w anted to sta n d on th e form and cheer, and longed for an egg to th ro w ; b u t h e rem ained glued to his seat.

A s if d iv in in g his th o u g h ts, a w inchester b o ttle of v itrio l clam bered 011 to th e b ench, h u g e an d scowling. ” S tu d e n ts will rem ain in th e ir places ” he th u n d e re d , 17

'0

p o in tin g m enacingly a t J o h n s o n ; " an d ie a rn of th e ir superiors he ad d ed , g ran d ly M eanw hile th e te st-tu b es h ad form ed a rin g and s ta rte d d a n cin g ro u n d th e P rofessor in th e b eak er. S uddenly th ey com m enced to sing sh rilly , “ W h en th e P ro f, we co n triv e to reduce To his elem ents, oxides, or h y d ra te s, W e m ay m ake th e old buffer some use' H e will fe rtiliz e well w ith his n itr a te s .”

A couple of gas-jars seized th is tle funnels a n d began to blow o u t a d ro n in g accom panim ent on th em . Scarcely h ad th e verse finished w hen th e p ip e tte s began in chorus— " H is fa t, he has p le n ty all rig h t, W e w ill titr a te in spite of th e odour, A n d tu r n to soap a n d d y n a m ite W ith some acid and stro n g caustic soda. “ O rd er! O rd e r!” shouted a p o rtly M a rrio tte b o ttle . " W e have w ork to do.

I move H e r r W u rtz F lask ta k e th e ch air, “ N o ! N o ! N o a lie n s,” ro are d all th e genuine B ritis h glass w are. “ I move M r. Desic C 'ator,” said a p ip e tte . " A ll in fa v o u r ! ” A larg e show of spidery arm s signified ap p ro v al, and th e d esiccato r s a t him self pom pously on th e te st-tu b e sta n d am id th e cheers of all th e B ritish e rs. " A y e , h e ’ll d ry you lo t u p ,” cried th e W u rtz flask b itte rly .

J u s t th e n th e d ro n in g sta rte d ag ain , an d deep voices took u p th e song, " H is bones w ith stro n g v itrio l digest, F rom his lacrym als dow n to his ta rs a ls, ? .

As p h o sp h ate brain-food th e y ’ll go best I n one an d th re e -h a ’penny p a rc e ls.” " R eally th e gas-jars m u st co n ta in th em selv es,” said th e C h a irm a n severely. " W e ’ll sing ju s t w hen we lik e ,” cried a good-hum oured r e to r t w ith a chuckle.

T he C h a irm an looked dignified. " O ur frie n d w ith th e su per-sem itic pro b o scis,” he said, " m u s t u n d e rsta n d t h a t re to rts are o u t of o rd e r.”

B u t th e re to rt, who h ad recen tly been charged w ith a stro n g alcoholic m ix tu re , sm iled in a n e ly ; and w obbling u n ste ad ily from side to side began to s in g : " A young u n d e rg ra d who had gone to th e bad T h ro u g h ta k in g too m uch m e th y la n th ra n ila te , T old a fa ir ch arm in g E ste r he th o u g h t he could b est h e r, A nd le ft h er for E th y l-P o ta ssiu m su lp h a te .” " N o w le t us g e t to " S h u t u p ! ” ordered th e C h airm an p e rem p to rily , business.” " E s t e r cu t to th e bone, took d ib en z o q u in o n e .” __continued th e irrep ressib le r e t o r t ; b u t th e C h a irm an ign o red him an d w ent on.

'T h e so rt of nonsense th a t has been going on in th is college has got to stop.

W e m ust deal effectively w ith these lecturers and stu .

H is voice was drow ned by th e r e to r t loudly co n tin u in g his song, b ra n d ish in g th e w hile a b o ttle of absolute alcohol, w ith w hich he a tte m p te d to b e a t tim e -----" A n d p u t in his te a , she a d m itte d it w hen seen, Some sulphoam idobutyrolactone-------. ” " Chuck him o u t ! ” yelled a score of voices, an d a horde of vessels of all shapes an d sizes sp ra n g a t h i m ; b u t above th e scrim m age could be h e a rd his voice— ‘ 'A n d an h y d ro u s-su ip h o ran ilid e-o f-b en zen e.’’

T hen he was h it over th e sto p p er w ith a bunsen b u rn e r a n d fell in a th o u san d frag m en ts.

T he crowd was now th o ro u g h ly ex cited . " Blow u p th e college,” cried a voice; and th ey all took it u p , " Blow i t u p ! blow i t u p .” T he C h airm an 18

p ro cu re d som e s o rt of o rd er w ith difficulty. “ H a v e you d istilled o u t t h a t glycerol, P ro fe sso r? ” he shouted above th e d in ------ “ C onfound it, w here is th e P ro fe sso r? ” H e re , y o u r m a je s ty ,” piped a tin y voice from th e b e ak er, an d o u t clam bered th e Processor, m opping his brow . H e pressed th e bell push beside th e b lack b o ard , an d D aw son, th e d e m o n stra to r, ap p eared . “ G lycerine, quick, D aw so n ,” said th e P ro fessor.

A carboy of acid stepped on to th e bench. I t usually held v itrio l, b u t fum es were seen risin g from it. D aw son ap p eared w ith a huge foot pum p and com m enced to s q u irt a to r r e n t of clear oily liquid in to th e acid. Jo h n so n concluded th a t h e was m ak in g n itro -g ly cerin e. Dawson produced a pile of e x a m in a tio n papers from u n d e r th e bench, flung th em u n d e r th e carboy an d lit th em . F lam es sh o t up all a ro u n d .

Jo h n so n trie d to fly, b u t could n o t.

H e fe lt fixed to his seat.

H e trie d to sh o u t------T h ere was a flash an d a bang.

H e sp ra n g to his feet. T he door was opening again u n ste ad ily , as a slam m ed door w ill. T h e lectu re was over, and th e la st s tu d e n t h ad ju st le ft th e lectu re room , slam m in g th e door b e h in d him .

— C .R , T A B L E shewing growth of £ 1 Monthly in T H E H A L IF A X P E R M A N E N T BU IL D IN G SO C IE TY at present yield of In te re st and Bonus

SEE YOUR SAVINGS GROW

12 Years

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T h e p r e s e n t y ie ld is 3$% In te re st plu s 2 \% B o n u s on S u b s c r i p ­ ti o n s pa id in to b e ­ g i n n i n g of y ea r . W i t h ­ d r a w a l s c a n be e a s i l y m ade when required a t s h o r t notice.

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HALIFAX The

PERMANENT World’s

BUILDING Huddersfield Office :

Largest

SOCIETY. 8 M a r k e t Place.

ENOCH HILL, F.C.I.S., Managing Director.

19

W HAT DO YOU

D O W IT H

YOUR

SPARE T I M E ? or

A Directory of Students Activities by “ The People who know.’’

L L stu d e n ts, new or old, day or evening, m ale of o th erw ise, young or fe a th e r-b ra in e d , high-brow or low-brow, ta lk a tiv e or stro n g ly silent, u n c e rta in , a th le tic or stiff-jo in ted , m usical or jazz-loving, in te lle c tu a l or d ra m a tic or like u n to cool c u c u m b e r s .................. a re all in v ite d to lend th e ir active su p p o rt of one or m ore of th e College Clubs or Societies. “ There is room f o r you, a l l . ” B u t first of all h e ar w h a t th e people who know have to s a y :—

A

THE DEBATING SOCIETY. W ith th e incom ing of so m an y new stu d e n ts I fe lt i t a d u ty to p resen t, in m ore or less glow ing colours, th e pleasures w hich a w a it th em w hen th e hours of toil are done.

H av e th ey ever h eard ru m o u rs, in th e fa r co rn ers of th e e a rth , of a g re a t society know n as th e H .T .C .D .S . or th e H u d d ersfield T echnical Cbllege D e b atin g Society?

A re you th in k in g of a career of p o litica l fam e? J o in the D e b atin g S o c ie ty ! A re you desirous of e m u latin g th e im m o rta l Cicero of R om an fam e? J o in th e H .T .C .D .S !

A re you am b itio u s of bein g an orange-box orato r in th e g re a t square of our noble tow n? J o in th e D e b a tin g Society a t once!

No subscriptions and no fees.

A w onderful tra in in g w ith o u t tro u b le or charge.

M eetings a re held a lte rn a te W ednesdays an d F rid a y s, a t s u ita b le tim es, in th e Old R ead in g R oom , N o. 4 4 .c. Come e a rly or you m ay ru n th e risk of losing your seat A rm -ch airs are piovided for e arly arriv als. D o n ’t m iss th e chance of a life-tim e.

E. B ailey .

THE DRAMATIC SOCIETY. W e have been criticised, we have been abused. W e have been rid icu led and laughed to scorn. M ean m en have asked th e ir m oney back, an d m e a n e r still have refused to come to o u r shows !

B u t we have been highly praised for our e n te rp rise in b rin g in g a r a r e old E nglish comedy to H uddersfield for th e first tim e , a n d t h a t in th e face of a long series of set-backs and difficulties. A n d we have h ad com plim en ts from a n o t too m u g e n t pi ess on th e actin g of several of o u r play ers.

M oreover we have com pleted an e x p erim e n tal y ear w ith w h a t was an alm ost u n trie d b a n d of players, overcome som e of th e m ost d ish e a rte n in g difficulties w ith re g a rd to casting, reh e arsin g and p roducing, and y e t re ta in e d th e en th u siasm of th e e a rly days and m anaged to keep well free of debt.

• no m ean record th o u g h i t is one upon w hich we hope to im prove th W inter. T o th is end we a re fo rtu n a te in h av in g a rra n g e d in co n ju n ctio n w ith the Co ege a u th o ritie s a class in D ra m a tic A r t as a d efinite course am ong th e usual College courses, w ith Miss D oro th y B lack as tu to r. M em bers of th e society will be 20

0=

E0 5 =

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expected, if possible, to a tte n d th is course if th e y desire to ta k e p a r t in oui productions. I t is hoped t h a t th e class w ill reh e arse a t least one first class play to be produced u n d e r th e auspices of o ur Society d u rin g - th e w in te r, and t h a t a n u m b er of p lay-readings w ill be held.

In o rd er to m ake these a success it is necessary to secure th e co-operation of all stu d e n ts who' a re keenly in te re ste d in plays and th e ir p ro d u ctio n .

A cto rs we w a n t, b u t n o t only actors.

W e w a n t stage helpers, c arp e n te rs, electrician s, scenery p a in te rs , indeed carftsm en of all kin d s if we a re to achieve t h a t sta n d a rd of p ro d u ctio n a t w hich we aim .

M ost of all we w a n t e n th u sia sts n o t g ru m b lin g grousers. So join u p all you keen ones and come along to th e g en eral m eetin g w hich will b e held e arly in th e te rm , or if you are u n a b le to a tte n d , d ro p a lin e to M r. P h ilip B o o th , 18, Cecil S tre e t, H u d d ersfield , who w ill give you all th e in fo rm a tio n t h a t a first class secretary can.

A n d to you critics, a p lag u e on y e!

A .D .K .O .

THE CHRISTIAN UNION. This* is n o t a m id-w eek S unday School class or a special w eek -n ig h t se rv ic e : I t is a society w hich provides heretics an d sceptical stu d e n ts w ith a chance to say w h a t th ey th in k w ith o u t shocking th e com m unity a t large. I t in v ites th e scientists to come and p resen t th e ir case, if an y , a g a in st C h ristia n ity , an d m en of all views on th e th in g s t h a t really c o u n t to come an d ta lk th em over.

I t does th is in th e belief t h a t when correctly u nderstood C h ristia n ity is a relig io n w hich w ill ap p eal to th e m ind of m odern stu d e n ts as th e m ost likely to h e lp to m end a b ro k en and suffering w orld, and a religion w hich can be reconciled w ith m o d ern scientific ideas.

Speakers w ho a p p reciate th e p o in t of view of q u estionin g y o u th a re asked to give sh o rt ta lk s an d lead discussions, b u t any s tu d e n t w ho has a difficulty w hich he wishes to overcom e concerning his idea of C h ristia n ity w ill be welcom ed and th e p o in t raised in discussion. P ro b a b ly his idea of C h ristia n ity is q u ite w rong.

Come along to th e n e x t m eetin g t h a t is announced. A f te r all i t is a poor business to be a C h ristia n for th e sam e reason as w ould h av e m ade you a M oham edan if you h ad been bo rn in T u rk ey !

THE CHEMISTRY SOCIETY. T he e d ito ria l fiat has gone fo rth , and th e noble sp irits of th e C h em istry D e p a rtm e n t again find them selves u n d e r th e necessity of p ro d u cin g a d isse rtatio n on th e w ork and aim s of th e Society. T he re s u lt of th is collective e n d eav o u r is (unless M r. E d ito r th in k s otherw ise) rep resen ted by th e folloAving digest.

Since th is issue of th e “ M ock T u r tl e ” sees th e com m encem ent of a new session, we h a sten to p o in t o u t to th e new stu d e n ts t h a t th e C hem ical Society is th e doyen of all College Societies— its records h a rk back in to th e d a rk an d d is ta n t ages for at least th irte e n years. T he en th u siasm w hich is shown by th e m em bers of th e staif and th e ir in te re s t in our m ovem ents is a p o te n t facto r in th is co n tin u ed life and p ro sp e rity . T h e p a st session saw a slig h t increase in m em b ersh ip , and consequent upon a highly successful dance, a very g ra tify in g balance sheet.

T he lectures, w hich w ere given on T h u rsd ay afternoons a t 4-15, were p rin cip ally of a popularn a tu re , y e t of in te re s t to th e m ore advanced stu d e n ts.

A n d now enough of p a st a ctiv itie s— w h a t of th e fu tu re ?

I t is a re g re tta b le fac t th a t th e stu d e n ts of th e T echnical College as a whole show a m ost depressing 22

lack of c o rp o rate sp irit. I t is by no' m eans an easy th in g to m a in ta in in te re st in a College in s titu tio n .

Y e t m em b ersh ip of th e College should m o rally m ean m em b ersh ip of its recreativ e bodies, an d we e arn estly a p p eal to science stu d e n ts to join th e C hem ical Society. W e do n o t e x ist to m ak e m oney, nor to give i t aw ay, b u t r a th e r as a f r a te rn ity in w hich a p le a sa n t h o u r devoted to a to p ic of m u tu a l in te re s t m ay be sp e n t. T he lectures are given m ain ly by stu d e n ts to stu d e n ts, and are n o t confined to ch em istry. M ost of th em a re illu s tra te d by e x p erim e n ts, and th e re is a splendid o p p o rtu n ity for discussion, in w hich a b ility to ta k e p a r t is so essential a fe a tu re of th e m odern ch em ist’s tra in in g .

F . W ood, S ecretary .

THE SKETCH CLUB. T h e School of A rt S k etch C lub ex ists to en co u rag e th e p u rsu it and a p p reciatio n of A rt, q u ite a p a rt from class-room w ork a t th e School. A rt is not confined to any class-room , it is an essen tial p a rt of life, an d its cu ltiv atio n leads to a fuller realisatio n of th e jo y an d m ea n in g of living. T o fu rth e r th ese ideals th e S k etch C lub holds m eetin g s ev ery m o n th , a t w hich p a p ers are given on som e b ran c h or asp ect of A rt.

C o m p etitio n s a re held m onthly, an d th e en tries are exhibited a t each m eetin g and c riticised by a m em b er of th e School of A rt Staff. F u rth e r, tea h o u r classes are held each F rid a y ev en in g in d raw in g from life. T h e S k e tch C lub also holds an a n n u a l dance, p roduces a play, and holds a public exhibition of w ork done a t th e tea -h o u r class, en tries for th e m o n th ly co m p etitio n s, a n d so on.— M .S.

J. Holroyd & Co., Ltd., Dyers, Cleaners, Furriers, Hat Renovators, Carpet Beaters, Bedding Cleaners, Laundrymen, etc.

Almost everything about the house, as well as all wearing apparel can be made clean and bright and ready for much further service.

Ask

ab o u t

our

“ W e ig h t W ash.”

38 King Street, 18 Westgate and Seedhill.

H U D D E R S F IE L D .

W orks: Seedhill.

23

Tel. 378.

THE ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL CLUB. Last year’s record of the Association Football Club was not all that could be desired, but a number of interesting and hard-fought matches were played and some good football was seen. Old players and new comers are all invited to join up again this season and endeavour to build up a strong team to represent the College. Look at the notice board for particulars of practice matches and club m e e tin g s ! _ .

Get out your shorts and jersey and give your knees a w a s h ; then keep the old ball rolling !

THE MIXED HOCKEY CLUB. P rospects for th e com ing season a re b rig h te r th a n th e y have e v er been in any previous y ear. L a s t season we finished up w ith a p lay in g m em b ersh ip of over 30.

Now , w ith th e pro sp ect of th e re being h id d en ta le n t am ong st new stu d e n ts, we hope to double th a t n u m b er. L a s t season we closed w ith o u t a p lay in g field. N ow neg o tiatio n s are in progress for superior p lay in g fields fo r all b ran ch es of sp o rt.

L a s t season th e re was no form al m ixed hockey club in existen ce u n til la te in th e y ear.

Now th e M ixed H ockey C lub is n o t only on a sound w o rk in g basis, b u t a lread y hom e a n d aw ay fixtures have been a rra n g e d w ith S la ith w a ite P a ris h C h u rch , B ra d fo rd School of A r t, S t. S te p h e n ’s a n d E ccleshill P a ris h C h u rch (B rad fo rd ) an d B ra d fo rd C roft. I t is to be re g re tte d t h a t th e re a re so few m ixed hockey clubs in H uddersfield, b u t no d o u b t w ith a lead from th e College th e num bers w ill grow.

A new fe a tu re th is y ear is t h a t th e club is open to m em b ersh ip by non-players.

E v ery m em ber of th e staff an d every s tu d e n t m ay become m em bers of th e M ixed H ockey C lub on p a y m e n t of a n om inal su b scrip tio n of Is. p e r a n n u m . T his is to be encouraged.

W e w a n t to see every m em ber of th e College p re se n t a t o u r m atches. I t is an in sp ira tio n to th e players.

W e hope, to o , b y th is m eans, to m ake o u r aw ay fixtures half-d ay tr ip affairs fo r th e n o n -p lay in g su p p o rte rs of th e club.

A dance is being a rra n g ed for S a tu rd a y n ig h t, O ctober 15th.

Look o u t fo r p a rtic u la rs of th is on th e notice boards. N ew m em bers a re p a rtic u la rly in v ite d to th is social ev en t.

W heelhouse, S ecretary .

THE LADIES’ HOCKEY CLUB. WANTED:—A team of lady hockey players to keep the above club in existence. Remember there is not room for all of you with the gentlemen of the Mixed Club.

Also, a Secretary capable of answering post cards and arranging teas for visiting teams. Previous experience not essential.

Ladies desirous of joining this club should get together and do some­ thing about it. Meanwhile, watch the notice board at the top of the stairs.

W H A TE VER T H E GAME WE

HAVE

IT!

E M M E R S O N BROS., Sports Works and Warehouse, EST- 1889Tel. 1371.

Brook’s Yard, Market Street, Huddersfield.

24

“ Lest we Forget.”

The “ Earl Haig” Fund in aid of Disabled Soldiers.

Technical College Students’ Annual Effort in aid of the above.

V o lu n tee rs (m en and w om en, day and evening stu d e n ts) a re req u ired in c o n n ec ­ tion w ith th e above.

T h o se w illing to sell tic k e ts for th e “ P o p p y D a n c e ,” to be held

on S a tu rd a y , N o v e m b et 12th, a re req u e ste d to give in th eir n am es to D o ris A inley, or M innie L o d g e.

T h o se w illing to a ssist in th e M usical a n d D ra m a tic E n te rta in m e n t

S ectio n are kin d ly req u e ste d to h an d in th e ir n a m e s to K ath leen C. B ro w n or P h ilip B o o th .

T h o se w illing to help in th e g e n eral o rg an izatio n of th e E ffo rt on th is d ay ,

fo r th is cause, a re req u e ste d to send in th e ir n a m e s to M iss N . B a rk e r, (the L ib ra ry ), s ta tin g th e c a p a c ity in w hich th ey desire to serve.

Geo. Greenwood & Son, P rin ters and Stationers.

Market St. Huddersfield.