The Mock Turtle - No. 8 by Heritage Quay

THE Mock T urtle

SEPTEM BER,

1929.

PRICE 6d.

Wheatley, Dyson 8 Son S U P P L Y A L L R E Q U IS IT E S FOR S TU D E N TS ON VERY ADVANTAGEOUS

E X E R C IS E

TERMS.

BOOKS.

MATHEMATICAL INSTRUMENTS (S e le c te d by th e College).

D rawing

Boards

T SQUARES. S L ID E RULES. SET SQUARES. Et

TEXT

BOOKS.

12, New Street, Huddersfield. TELEPHONE 415.

The Mock Turtle A Review of the Life, Thought and Humour of the Huddersfield Technical College Editor:

CHARLES RECORD

Assistant Editor:

PHYLLIS KAHN

Business Manager:

F. A. STOTT

A s s i s t a n t B u s i n e s s M a n a g e r : R. C. LlGHTBODY

There's

a Purpose just

a n d h e ’s t r e a d i n g

NUMBER EIGHT

b e h i n d me,

on m y t a i l . ”

SEPTEMBER 1929

The Mock Turtle CONTENTS. PAGE

E D IT O R I A L N O T E S WIGGLES

3 E dward R. Swift

Florence Tattersall

T H A T OTHER E L E M E N T

Vortex

AN SSSAY

A.R.P.

IM P R E S S IO N S OF A N E W S T U D E N T (Cartoon) Charles Cadlcy

THE M Y S T E R Y OF T H E M I N E

G.L.

J.W .D .

Phyllis Kahn

GROWING OLD

THE GHOST OF LU D G A TE H I L L SMOULDERING F I R E S COLLEGE A C T I V I T I E S STAFF NOTES

OLD S T U D E N T S UNION

COMING E V E N T S

S W IM M IN G

A SSO C IAT IO N F O O T B A L L CLUB

M IX E D H O C K E Y CLUB

F L A N N E L DANCE

W H A T IS T H I S QUOTATION BOOK ?

SK E T C H CLUB

CHEM ICAL S O C I E T Y

C R IC K ET CLUB

s.o.s.

Back Cover

Why not join the the select circle of literary artists who write for the Mock Turtle ?

Editorial Notes. “ They had not gone far bejore they saw the Mock Turtle— Alice could hear him sighing as ij his heart would break.—‘ What is his sorrow ? ’ she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered—‘ I t ’s all his fancy, t h a t : he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on ! ” So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes fu ll oj tears, but said nothing. A lice ’s A dventures

W onderland.

all new students, a hearty welcome. W h e n you have fixed up your classes we suggest that you turn to our back pages and consider the other activities of the College giving an account of themselves t h e r e ; and if there are those who would like to lend their aid to other student ventures the pages of “ The Mock Turtle ” are open to give any possible assistance and publicity. Our time at College will be the more worth while if we put our backs into Something beyond our work in which we can rub shoulders with our fellows. If our next issue appears in purple with pink spots ; if its contents horrify all beholders ; or if it does not appear at all, who shall complain ? To save disturbing the slumbers of our contributors, whose pens and brains we are always having to jog, we are thinking of publishing “ Old Moore’s A l m a n a c k ’’ in serial form in the next three issues, and who will stop us? T h e Staff of '‘ The Mock T u r t l e ” was appointed by the Day Student’s Representative Council to run this magazine. W e have an impression that we can now pic-nic with the funds (if any). To be more serious; the Representative Council started w e l l ; we believe a nucleus of it still exists ; but as a body it seems to have become comatose. This is a pity. Unless students learn to pull together they deserve all they get. W ith the best will in the world on the part of its authorities no college can give all that it might to its students unless they are prepared to co-operate and to express their viewpoint as an organised body. A vigorous college life demands a vigorous student organisation. The Representative Council has not, it is true, met with encouragement in all its efforts ; but that is not to be expected. Finance is a difficulty. W e suggest that the Council show that it can stand on its feet, and then consider trying again for an adequate financial scheme. W e trust that, with the new energy and the fresh blood that the Autumn Term brings, the Council may find a new life and vigour and let us know that it is here. Our friends will be amazed to learn that we actually cleared expenses on our last issue, and made a profit of 13/6. This was only made possible by the valiant work of our business managers, and the staunch b an d of assistants who held the entrance and compelled those short-sighted members of the College who do not readily recognise a good investment to part with their saxpences. There is yet another financial triumph to report. W h en the late Editor left us he ran off with the funds raised by last year’s Mock Turtle Dance (The present Editor notes this precedent for future use). A Turtle detach3

ment pursued him, however, and recovered the ca s h ; on which he remarked, with commendable resignation, that the L ord not only giveth but taketh away. W e trust that his finances have recovered from the disaster. Among the m any students who passed examinations and gained degrees and other qualifications last session, we would particularly like to congratu late our Business Manager on securing his B.Sc., in Engineering. Mr. F. A. Stott has not only been earning his living in the day time and studying at n ig h t; but has also found time to put in a lot of work for the Magazine. Those who come to the College with the idea that they can spare no time for an ything outside their classes may well note that the most successful in their work here are quite commonly the folk who are helping to make the College a live place in their spare time. W e are now exchanging magazines with several other Colleges. The papers received may be consulted in the Library, and should prove of interest. Engineers, for instance, may be interested to note the troubles of their colleagues of the Melbourne (Australia) Technical School, who m aking a trip to gauge mountain streams for hydro-electric power, had to travel in succession by train, sedan coach, mail car, buggy a n d pair, horses and packhorses, skis. A n d they did i t ! The attention of readers is invited to our advertisements. The small edition which we require means a high cost per copy. W e give you more th an your m oney’s worth, and the advertisers save the situation. In some cases at least they quite definitely regard their support mainly as a subscription. W e invite you to support those who are assisting the College Magazine.

HUDDERSFIELD TOWN ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL CLUB. FIXTURES D ate Auo. 1929 Sat. 31 S ept. Wed. 4 Sat. 7 Sat. 14 Mon. 16 Sat. 21 Tues 24 Sat. 28 O ct\ Sat. 5 Sat. 12 Sat. 19 Sat. 26 N ov. Sat. 2 Sat. 9 Sat. 16 Sat. 23 Sat. 30 D ec . Sat. 7 Sat. 14 Sat. 21 Wed. 85 Thur 26 Sat. 28 J an , 1930 Wed. 1 Sat. 4 Sat. 11

FO OTBALL LEAGUE. Opponents Or'nd LEICESTER CITY ...

home

Liverpool......................... Birmingham .............. LE E D S UNITED ... LIVERPOOL ... (6 p.m.) S H E F F IE L D UNITED Grimsby Tow n.............. N ew castle United

aw ay aw ay home home home aw ay aw ay

BLACKBURN ROVERS M iddlesbrough.............. Sheffield W ednesday BU R N LEY ..............

home aw ay aw ay home

Sunderland .............. ASTON VILLA E v e r t o n ......................... D ER BY COUNTY ... Manchester City

aw ay home aw ay home aw ay

PORTSMOUTH Arsenal ......................... BOLTON W A N D E R E R S W est Ham United ... W EST HAM U N ITED Leicester C i t y ..............

home aw ay home away home aw ay

Bolton Wanderers BIRMINGHAM E.C.—Third Round

1929-30. D ate A ug . 1929 Sat. 31 S h pt . Mon. 2 Sat. 7 Sat. 14 Sat. 21 Mon. 23 Sat. 28 Mon. 30 O ct Sat. 5 Sat. 12 Wed. 16 Sat. 19 Sat. 26 Nov Sat. 2 Sat. 9 Sat. 16 Sat. 23 Sat. 30 D ec Sat. 7 Sat. 14 Sat. 21 Wed. 25 Thur 26 Sat. 28 J an , 1930 Wed. 1 Sat. 4 Sat, 11

aw ay home

C E N T R A L LEAGUE. Opponents. f G r'nd W est Bromwich Albion

... aw ay

M ANCHESTER UN.(6 p.m.) BIRMINGHAM .............. Leeds U n i t e d .......................... Sheffield United .............. LIVERPOOL ... (6 p.m.) BURY ..................................... Stockport County ..............

home home aw ay aw ay home home aw ay

Blackpool .......................... BLACKBURN ROVERS ... STOCKPORT COUNTY ... WOLVERHAM PTON W. ... Aston Villa .........................

aw ay home home home aw ay

STOKE C I T Y ......................... Manchester City ............. DERBY COUNTY .............. E v e r t o n ..................................... BU R N LEY .........................

home aw ay home aw ay home

Preston North E n d .............. aw ay BOLTON W A N D E R E R S ... home Sheffield W ednesday aw ay W E ST BROMWICH ALB.

home

Liverpool..................................... aw ay Birmingham ......................... aw ay Manchester U n i t e d .............. away

Wiggles. E ST O V E R is a fellow who would think nothing of asking you to drown yourself in the sea, if only because your pullover displeased his sense of colour, and who would expect you to be courteous to him for the suggestion. One of his early dislikes was his aunt, a very stubborn person who reminded one of sam plers and antim acassars. She had her playful moments. “ W ig g le s,” she would say (W illiam Ingram Gerald were three of his nam es), “ come here and recite your rhymes from the book I gave you. Do keep still! D on’t stand so stupidly. You are not properly trained in deportm ent, nor in your lessons.” All of which was boring to W illiam , who sulked. T h at is a digression, but all else I shall say is th at W estover kept up the enmity throughout many years. . . I had been considering a holiday with my family, but to a person of my descent— I am called Robnash, Jacob Robnash—even a week runs away with more money than one can earn in a month. I would have tried a w alking tour, but then shoe-leather w ears so quickly on the rough by-paths, and w alking on the main roads with their buses is a tem ptation to spend. A lost “ advance ” railway ticket which I found was no use for the four of us. The youngest m ight have been brought within the p assen g er’s luggage w eight limit, but would need skilful packing . . . . At the office, a ’phone call dragged my mind from these thoughts. “ Jacob, old sp o rt,” the words came through, after I had had a slight interlude upon the latest in dress. Such friendliness and fam iliarity suggested some hoped-for favour. “ Som ething of trem endous im portance has happened ; come at once. Don t fail m e .” So I w ent to W esto v er’s to find him red in the face, coughing. A notice beside the door informed one of the infallibility of W esto v er’s Asthma and Bronchitis Cure (or was it Asthma and R o u p ? ). ‘‘ Ah, a k ’m r-r-right sorra to see ye in sa verra bad a pree-dicament. W illna the Roup Cure w orrk na lan g er? ” I asked, patting him on the back in the cough-up-a-crum b fashion. But such a savage look greeted me th at my hand faltered. I made to go. “ S ta y ,” he said, forcing a crooked smile, “ it ’s the a u n t.” “ A n t,” says I, “ are ye experim enting w i’ ants noo for the cauld c u re .” Seeing my error in a flash, he replied, “ Aunt Anne Ingram w ants to see me for the first time for years. I d o n ’t w ant to go, but I d aren ’t refuse. If I do, the m oney’s sure to go to a C a ts’ Home or for providing Pink Pom -Pom s for Pierrots. I t ’ll be a holiday for you— she does keep a good table, or did, at any rate, and y o u ’ll have country a ir .” “ Ay, th ere’s a trifle a guid in th a ’, but th ere’ll be an aw fu’ task in parsuading the childer and wife. Besides, y e ’r aunt willna take me for ain of the fam ily.” He persuaded me to go, though I did not tell my wife the real ‘‘ow nership” of Aunt Anne. Little C usterton was two miles from Rushby G range, and the two kiddies were tired. A gentlem an in a black dinner jacket opened the door ; he had long m utton-chop w hiskers which little Tommy found am using. “ Uncle has funny beards on his cheeks,” said he, laughing. (The children have not my fine rolling m anner of speech). To see a child happy ought to please anyone, but w ithout any reason, the man looked both red and annoyed. “ Ah, h e ’s not ye’r Uncle, but the b o o ts,” I explained. Although he said nothing, the man grew redder. W e were soon in a long room, with red walls and old tapestries. I was

approaching the old lady, who wore ringlets streak in g down from a low bob, when I missed little Janie. Ju st behind me w as a coat of mail surm ounted by a head dress of the same period. T hrough the vizier I heard Janie s voice ; walking forw ard to remove her, I noted a loud squeal. . , , “ Poor Timothy ” said Auntie, her black-beaded eyes staring in intended sympathy, “ did the careless gentlem an tread on your ta il? ” H er eyes raised and she skid in a piercing voice, “ W ig g les, y o u ’re just as stupid as ever. You used to rub jam in your hair, and now you tread on poor pussy. The two children were amused at my juvenile loohshm ent. After my apologies had been given, Aunty replied, “ Your speech indeed is worse than it used to be ; though I suppose th a t’s due to the influence of the African heathens am ong whom yon Is t^ ^ avQured tQ avoid my wife’s astonished look, and the efforts of the children to poke the many cats, M anx, Tabbies, and P ersians, who strolled round the room A unty’s sharp tones from the antim acassared leather c h a ir: Because of the greater interest of the Dog, I have allowed my taste to w ander in Dogdom. Your bedroom is next the D oggery. Now, come to the D o g s.” She led a stately way ; my wife whispered, “ R ather queer. I think you take after h e r.” I d o n ’t like dogs. In fact, they have the same effect on me, as cats on Lord Roberts. W him s of the great. ^The first kennel w as of Alsatians. “ W hy are you staying there? “ I don’t like Alsatians, A u n ty .” “ D on’t be a cow ard; come o n ! “ No thank you. Think of Lord R oberts and the c a ts .” At the word “ c a ts ,” a baying went fo rth ; I am not a weak m an, but I cannot stand dogs. ‘‘ Forw ard, W ig g le s,” in sergeant-m ajor-like tones. ‘‘ No, A untie.” “ Yes! ” A push followed, and taken by surprise, I w ent in on my neck. Goodness knows how I shall appear “ lord of the castle at home now. “ He was always a little q u eer,” explained Auntie, “ Did funny things that normal boys d o n ’t. Used to run away from people who w eren’t there and then throw blanc-m ange at th e m .” . W esto v er’s idea looked worse as time went on. My w ife’s look indicated a thought th at I lived up to mv youthful reputation. Climbing along a middle half-wall, I left the baying brutes. As we went into the D ining Room, the cats flew round and round the room. A savage wish occurred to me that th ey ’d break their n eck s; to my sorrow the\ calmed down when Aunty said “ Come to d in n e r.” The footman drew back ch airs; the cats leapt on. “ Poor dumb th in g s ,” she said, as they squaw ked; “ I serve them first. W e sat down. A black cat punched a tabby. “ H u rra h ,” I whispered, thoughtlessly, savagely, for an intense dislike of the whole place had taken hold of me. “ Shame, ” Aunty scowled. She has good ears. Tommy, next the black one, held its tail. Of course, the cat moved, and slipped, clawing the cloth to save itself. The soup-plates fell in all directions, accompanied by the clattering of spoons. Flowers lay in heaps, with w ater in pools. The footman cleared all. As the child was to blame, we m ust leave dinner. “ F ru it is n atu re’s food. Pick it in the g a rd e n ,” she said. R aspberries, th at is raspberry bushes, were in abundance. F urther, over barbed wire, hung the fruit. “ Phwy the wir-r-re? A notice read : “ B irdies’ food.” I looked tow ards the house. Bother W estover! A long white face with ringlets seemed to be looking out. Oh, to have shaken rm fist! But the cost-free “ holiday ” . . . . 6

“ Help me, d ad d ie,” said Timothy. To reach the forbidden rasps, he climbed on my back, but a slip on the clay left him balanced about the barbed wire. “ O h ,” he cried. Before I could rescue him, Janie had slipped in the drought-dried m oat, and since my slide on the clay nearly precipitated me in, I rescued her first. A tall figure was running from the house, swaying camel-like to T im othy's rescue. W e pulled him down. “ The wire all strained, to o ,” came a voice of reproach. Slipping a pam phlet into my hand, she went back into the house. “ The Care of the Y o u n g ,” I read. After throw ing it in the bushes, I led my family to the D oggery, hoping to secure biscuits as they were in tears. A vivid vision loomed up of Aunty w aving a sceptre and leading us to the dogs, due, I suppose, to my w ant of food. Full of resolution, I squandered money in the village on chocolate. After w e’d consumed it, Auntie met us. “ I d o n ’t approve of chocolate. The dogs m ight become fond of the sm ell.” She treated me as a headstrong child. L ater I found my wife reading a book Aunty had given her. In “ H eads and their shapes of those of low mental te n d ,” were diagram s which my wife seemed to be com paring to my head. To stay was torture ; to go was extravagant. T h at night the baying hounds kept us awake ; then the children compelled with them. Now Aunty appeared as Boadicea and I was an invader. N ext day Aunty said, “ I have decided to disinherit you. You have not improved upon the low intellect of your childhood, nor am I convinced th at you would adm inister to my feline and canine protegees as^ I would wish my heir to do. So I m ust leave my money equally to a C a ts’ Home and to the Home for Derelict D o g s.” This did not trouble me, except the reflection on my mentality, which seemed to be quite a usual rem ark now. She continued: “ So to make a holiday for you, I have booked rooms at Plumpton-on-Sea. You leave for there (icontinued at foot of page 8.)

£. Hellewell Carter &Co. Ltd. Specialists in

WATERPROOFS.

Fashionable Styles and Materials.

RUBBER FOOTWEAR. WELLINGTON BOOTS, OVERSHOES, Etc. Rubber Hot W ater B ottles. Est. 1857.

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2, Buxton Road and 10. Albion Street, H U D D E R SF IE L D .

Growing Old. R O W IN G O L D ,” the words excite a strange medley of feeling confused and in some m easure reluctant. Age, rheum atism , short-sightedness . . ^ the keen ioy of movem ent, the sheer aliveness th at makes life so good . . . ?he quest and t h e adventure of se e k .n g ; and in place of these ? Just what

We T ^ d t o c h e ^ S h 'r f o n ^ a m b m o n ^ k f n to th at of P ete r P a n ’s ; and yet I suoDose being always young might become very m onotonous, because .t happens to be the t r o w i f « part of youth that makes it, if not always happy, at least, interesting. IntefestTng by reason of its very com plexity ; the m aking and adjusting of standards the w orktag tow ard some philosophy. I t ’s like clim bing a path winding up to the hills with something unexpected bobbing out from each turn . . . not always pleasant or even helpful . . . but invariably H appiness lies ju st round the corner. nd through it all, vaguely or keenly, one is conscious of sitting cross-legged on the toD-o-things . . . dangling L ife’s stings before his laughing face. p Of course, there are those people, (the placid flabby sort) who prefer to accept any ready-made version of the road or to traverse it w ith half-shut eyes They have ^

re p Is T o n ought found

m a d e /’ ^ A fter all, fn e can only get. out of a solving of it. “ Grow old along w ith m e .........................— rather difficult to believe 1 I t ’s like contrasting the sw eet wildness of the h.lUop| with the soft peace of the valley and saying th a t the valley is to be best. W e ll. to someone old I suppose it would be. . , f n It seems to me that w hat we have to do is to live each day to its fullest capacity ; accepting its responsibilities and enjoying its privileges. _ So that being young, we’ll revel in windy heights— vibrant exhilaration and the joy of hazard; then we’ll just grow old graciously, not grudging. T h ere will be no apeing or clutching at the past as people whom the years have cheated, (and make a sorry spectacle in the doing) but just a gradual mellowing. , And after all perhaps it w on’t be so very bad. There 11 be fireglow and memories . . . maybe th ere’ll be kiddies to call one G ranny, and questions to answer. (And always there will be a canister of w onderfully varied sw eets to delight their souls, and an oaken chest of treasures for them to rum m age am ongst.) And one will never grow old in the stodgy sense, for in one’s heart will be en shrined— the twinkle of hum our and the capability of being judiciously blind. Ana although “ on the top-o-things ” there sits no longer a laughing joy, maybe there n be a more lasting rarer thing mellowed by the years into a rich beauty . . . e gi of understanding. )f “ Youth all lay in dispute ; I shall know being old.” p TATTERSALL. W i g g l e s —continued. in the C a ts’ Conveyance. I am not doing this so much for you, but because ca n ’t give full care to the cats while y o u ’re h e re .” . . , She gave me a peck as I left, and said she w as pleased I ’d taken it so nice 1 m ight have said it was a pleasure, seeing W esto v er deserved all he wrote him, explaining all, and gave a few expressions upon his juvenile menta 1 }• An explanation of the real relationship of Aunty w as due to my wife, anc a er wards she said how like W estover those queer pictures were. _ . Now you know why W e sto v e r’s A sthm a Cure never appears in our acver is ment columns, and why W estover can never be induced to bring out a c a t s coug E D W A R D R. S W IF T . c u re ! 8

That Other Element. HAT is the college com ing to ? W e cannot enter the building, ascend its imposing stairw ay and pass along the corridors to our classroom s w ithout being molested at every turn. In vain do we “ eyes fro n t,” then hurriedly turn our optics downward, and ^finally with desperation and some catastrophic fear for the safety and equilibrium of our person, keep our gaze averted and upward. By thus escaping danger and tem ptation are we maligned as snobs and reviled as dream ers. Even in class where we try to shut out visions of colour and contour has our concentration been brought to nought by shrill trebles, odours, gurgles, sm irks, and such like aids of the devil. On one occasion last term our classroom s were invaded, our peace disturbed, our thoughts scattered, and finally, sixpences with infinite cunning extracted from our pockets. Yea in m athem atics and science classes do certain solitary perverted members of the species in between other, and we will suppose more fascinating pursuits, strive but in vain, I fear, to plumb these depths. H ere, too, would I w arn the uninitiated of an abode of mythical peace where our syllabus tells us we may spend leisure moments profitably and w ithout inter ruption. But I am afraid my w arning comes too late for many have been lured into th at lair ; and some there be th at have em erged shorn of peace for many m o o n s; others with eyes wide open, possessed of a new power of endurance ag ain st all wiles— long may its efficacy l a s t ! Can we not have some kind of partitions along the corridors which will enable traffic to be divided into two stream s? I pass on the problem for con sideration in research laboratories which are as yet, I think, free from direct contam inating influence. I say direct advisedly, for in a case such as this it is difficult to trace the m anifestation of this potent force. T his m atter m ust be faced. F ar from being trivial it colours the whole of our lives w aking and sleeping. R eaders of an eminent A ustrian psychologist, whom I recommend to all who would know themselves and become m asters of their destiny, know the m om ent of this m atter. H ave we no protection against this insidious evil which takes away our volition and leads us whither we would not g o ? VORTEX.

An Sssay. SAILING slowly southw ard Saturday, Septem ber Seventh, Sir Simon Simpkins saw some stran g e sights. Seated so solemnly smoking some sixpenny sweetscented shag, Sir Simon saw some Swedish subm arines sinfully sinking some small Spanish sailing ships. “ S u rre n d e r!” shouted Sir Samuel suddenly. “ S h an ’t , ” shouted Subm arine Skipper saucily. Suddenly seizing small sharp shooter Sir Samuel shot. Shell struck subm arine. Subm arine suddenly sank. Soon several sailors swam shorew ards, several soon sinking. So started Swedish-Spanish struggle. Simple Simon, Eyewitness. A .R .P . D , to complete the College files of WA NtwoT Ecopies of the issues for Septem ber 1928.

“ T he Mock T u rtle,” one or If any reader has this number and no longer wishes to preserve it, the E ditor would be grateful for the present of it for the College, addressed to him in the letter rack. 9

â&#x20AC;¢TMPKEjjfiONj* OF A NEW STUDENT'

sO < // X

/to efcape fromthe Mock turtle

(ohe ear r development ^ of the otdcr

. \ sC u d e rz ts- cUxq to listening, f o r

'f^ h ^ 9 -! 5 hell.

B y Charles Cadley 10

The Mystery of the Mine. {Lest some readers may question the accuracy o f this remarkable narrative we should perhaps state that the writer who conceals his identity under the nom-de-piume o f W illiam Watermain, is a m i n ing expert o f undoubted integrity, well known in the College, and that his account is supported by the testimony o f a doctor and an Inspector o f Mines as well as o f a number o f miners who were eyewitnesses of the discovery.—Ed.)

W I L L IA M W ATERM AIN, who tell this story, was born some seventy years ago in a Yorkshire town. My father was an engineer of considerable

* ability ; most of which, I may say without boasting, I have inherited. In spite of his ability my father did not become successful in a worldly sense, and as a family we had a struggle to make ends meet. My m other never complained, but patiently did her best, and to her I owe the enormous stock of patience which helped me greatly in the rem arkable experiences I am about to relate. 1 could w rite a book about the characters and the wonderful qualities of my father and m other, but 1 am the chief character in this story and m ust not allow it to be forgotten. At the time when the rem arkable events to be recorded took place, I was a tall good-looking man about forty years of age, with the dream y grey eyes of the mystic, a straig h t nose, white even teeth, and a beard of the short pointed variety. I was som ewhat given to introspection and to speculation on the origin and ascent of man. 1 had not reached middle age w ithout having attracted the attention of women, but curiously enough I had never felt the least desire to reciprocate these attentions, and no doubt many worthy and beautiful women were surprised by my apathy and coldness. Now 1 know the reason for this ap ath y ; but then 1 did not. I had always been an omniverous reader, devouring scientific treatises with delight, and being possessed of a retentive memory I forgot little of w hat I read. It will probably be difficult to believe that after once reading I could recite the whole of W e lls’ O utline of H istory.* After leaving the public school to which my parents sent me—at considerable sacrifice to them selves— 1 became an engineering apprentice, and in due course a fully-fledged engineer. My career was very ordinary, and but for the death of a distant relative of my m o th er’s, who left me his money, this story would probably not have been w ritten. On receipt of my modest fortune I decided to invest the greater part of it in a coal m ining company, and having done so it was not very long before I was appointed M anaging D irector of the Company, a position which I filled with considerable credit. I had an office at the colliery and it was my habit to get there early each m orning, and after dealing with letters and interviewing the m anager, to spend an hour in perusing the m orning papers and in glancing through the various scientific publications to which I was a regular subscriber. One m orning, about a week before the event which was to change the whole tenour of my life, I was glancing through the latest number of “ The Outline of Science ” when my attention was caught by a picture of a prehistoric man. There was som ething fam iliar about the face. I felt that I had met its- owner before, and although I knew th at this could not be so, the impression remained and would not be shaken off. T h at night I had a vivid dream. I was a prehistoric man hunting * W e are arranging for this recital to be given in aid of the “ Student’s Effort,” (see inside back cover) but the date is not fixed—Ed. 11

for my food and living in a forest. I fell in love, and after killing my rival, I hit my beloved on the head with my club and dragged her to my favourite tree. N ight after night the dream continued, and 1 experienced the delights of a prehistoric honeymoon, and the felicities of domestic life. W h a t did it an m ean? W as 1 living over again some previous state of existence ? I he m atter was soon to be cleared up and in such a strange and extraordinary way th at I am afraid ordinary m atter-of-fact people will find some difficulty in believing the story 1 have to tell. After my dream s had continued for about a week, I was sitting in my office one morning', pondering over my new experiences and trying to understand the new and bewildering sensations by which 1 w as assailed. lh e m anagei had left me and had gone down the pit and I surrendered myself to my day dreams. I was aroused by the ringing of my telephone bell and on taking up the receiver I heard the agitated voice of the m anager asking me to come down the pit at once and accompany him into the w orkings. A stran g e m essage had been sent to him ; something very unusual had happened and he would be glad if I would come at once. I asked for particulars, but he could give me none, and only repeated his request th at I should hasten to join him. H urriedly changing into my pit clothes I soon joined him, and as we walked along the roadw ay towards the w orking face he told me th at he had received a m essage to the effect that a body had been found embedded in a large block of coal. He was mystified and upset and I did not trouble him with further questions. Of the long walk along the dark and narrow passages of the mine I will say nothing, except th at everyone we met appeared to be labouring under some excitem ent, and the air seemed full of mystery. At last we arrived at the coal face and here we found a group of partly dressed miners talking in low subdued tones. On enquiring w hat had happened we were told th at a larg'e block of coal had been got down and on proceeding to break it up the first blow had knocked off a thin slab of coal and revealed p art of the naked leg of a hum an being. On exam ination we found th a t the flesh of the leg was quite firm and so far as appearances went m ight belong to a living person. Pulling myself together and restraining the excitem ent which was bubbling up within me, I made enquiries as to the precise circum stances which had led to the discovery. L earning that the block had been hewn from the solid coal I was forced to the conclusion that the body m ust have been deposited there during the deposition of the Carboniferous system of rocks. This was difficult to believe, as geologists held th at man did not begin to exist until a much later period, but the body was here, and such a fact was more conclusive than a host of theories. I had heard of live frogs being found embedded in stones, and feeling th at som ething w onderful was about to be revealed I decided to procure medical assistance before proceeding to uncover the rest of the body. I sent an urgent m essage for the nearest doctor, and spent the w aiting time in covering up the portion of leg exposed so as to exclude the air. By using some cement kept for stopping off mine fires it was possible to do this very effectively. The doctor arrived at last, and with him an Inspector of Mines to whom a m essage had also been sent. These gentlem en will vouch for the truth of my story, and may be referred to by unbelievers. After briefly putting them in possession of the facts of the case, it w as decided to proceed with the breaking up of the block of coal, and two m iners were asked to do this ; but they did not like the job, and at first refused to do it. At length they were persuaded and the work proceeded, care being taken to avoid causing injury to w hatever the block m ight contain. As piece after piece of coal was chipped off the excitem ent grew almost beyond restraint, and when one of the m iners dropped his pick and gave a hoarse cry, I bounded forward. 12

Reclining' in the hollow of the coal, dressed scantily in a skin of some animal I did not recognise, was the body of a woman. H er skin was pale, but firm and solid, and she looked as if asleep. I he doctor, at my request, proceeded to exam ine the body, and alter m aking a few tests he turned round with the startled cry “ She is alive! ” W hen 1 had gone forw ard to look on w hat the uncovering had revealed my eyes had been arrested by som ething vaguely fam iliar about the face. As the doctor w as m aking his tests my mind had been w orking at a g reat r a t e ; I remembered the prehistoric face in ‘The Outline of Science,’ and then the memory ol my dream returned to me with tenfold force. W hen the doctor made his dram atic declaration I knew at once th at it was my prehistoric love who lay before me. A little brandy was adm inistered, when the eyelids of my darling trem bled and then slowly unclosed, revealing a pair of startled eyes, which on m eeting mine took on a look of the tenderest affection. She raised her arm s and I stepped forw ard, but before I could reach her she fell back and died. I fainted, and knew no more until 1 found myself recovering from w hat I was told had been a long and severe illness. The m eaning of w hat had occurred came slowly back to me and for a long time I mourned the loss of my beloved who had been so miraculously given back to me, only to be taken away again. D uring my convalescence I pondered long and seriously over the strange experience which had befallen me, and at last 1 began to see th at w hat had happened was for the best. No doubt 1 had had many incarnations, and had lived many times since the time of my prehistoric existence, but always as a bachelor. Now the spirit of my love was free, and 1 m ight hope to meet her again. At the age of sixty, when tak in g a holiday at Scarborough, I was introduced to a girl of nineteen sum m ers, who made a g reat impression on me. She returned the liking, and we spent much time together. People talked of May and December, but we paid no heed ; our liking grew into love, and when one day I realised that the spirit of my dear one had entered into this charm ing girl, I asked her to m arry me, and she consented. W e have had five years of ideal happiness, and although I know that my days on earth in my present form are numbered, I do not trouble, as I have not the slightest doubt that sometime we shall find each other again. G.L.

The Ghost of Ludgate Hill. W A S sipping my coffee with the com fortable enjoyment which th at beverage renders after an excellent dinner. As it happened, I found myself seated at the window of my club and throughout the courses 1 had watched the shoppers hurry to and fro in the w hirling snow. The snow had been falling since the previous day, and as it was then the day before C hristm as Eve, there was every hope— or disappointm ent—of seasonable C hristm as w eather. Gradually the shoppers became less frequent and the new spaper boys had ceased their clamorings. The taxis and buses also dwindled in num ber and it seemed to me that these shopgoers, new spaper vendors and taxi drivers had eventually realised the foolishness of being out on such a night. T hus m using on nothing in particular, I was startled when a soft voice said “ George, old m a n .” T urning round I per ceived Jack W alton. There was no earthly reason why the spectacle of Jack should have disturbed me ; we had always been friends and he was on my paper in the days before 1 was made sub-editor. N evertheless w hether it was due to J a c k ’s face, which was vividly white, or anything else, an uncanny sentim ent gripped me, which told me th at there was som ething stran g e on foot. Indeed, only too true my thoughts were, for, w ithout stopping to pass the time of day, Jack said, in a throaty voice, “ I ’ve seen a g h o st! ” I saw the best plan to take with Jack, and immediately adopted it. No, really? ” said I nonchalantly. “ George, dash it man, I ’m serio u s.” Now Jack was a journalist and in actual life journalists are sober, steady sort of men, hence 1 told Jack to go ahead. In jerky sentences he told me how, coming from a society ball which he was reporting, he saw on L udgate Hill, a spectre with a flaming head em erge from the ground. N aturally I told him that if he spent his time reporting balls instead of drinking sherry and port he would not see ghosts with flaming heads at 2 o ’clock in the m orning. At this Jack arose and looked pained, “ Of co u rse,” said he, wearily, “ I did n ’t expect you to believe it, but look here George, I ’m going there to-night at 2 o ’clock, and if I see it you've got to come with me the next tim e .” Being certain th at Jack never would see it again, I laughingly assented, and at the same time warned him to keep off it. H aving sent the office boy rejoicing hom ewards with a ten shilling tip, I w4s preparing to leave the office for at least one d ay ’s holiday when I heard a th u n d e r ing rush up the stairs. 1 hinking it merely a reporter with som ething good for the late edition, I was greatly astonished to see W alton burst into the office* But what a W altoi) ! He had two d ay s’ grow th on his face, black circles un I *.rneath his eyes and his hair was ruffled and fell over his eyes. How very different from the immaculate, sleek black-haired Jack W alton who reported society balls! He stumbled into a chair and exclaimed “ George, g reat scott, I ’ve seen it again, last night! It came up from the ground—a gigantic m enacing figure with a er— er— with a flaming head ! ” Im agination, old chap, im agination,” said I, in w hat I thought to be a soothing voice. “ Im agination or n o t,” replied he in a determined voice, “ yo u ’re coming along with me at 2 o ’clock.” “ But dash it m an! ” I expostulated, “ it’s C hristm as Eve. W h a t the deuce is up with you^? ” “ Now see here, old c h a p ,” said Jack, doggedly, “ i t ’s no use, you promised, and so I shall call at your flat about one-fifteen.” I perceived th at Jack was obdurate and thus gave in. After all, thought I,

i t ’s m ost certainly out of the usual run of things and, who knows, I m ight possibly pick up a half-decent story. On hearing from my outraged valet th at Jack was dow nstairs, I forgot all my previous conciliatory feelings and cursed Jack with all the power of my limited vocabulary. Resentfully I dragged myself from bed and glanced out of the frosted window. Exactly w hat I th o u g h t! One of those nights which people term seasonable, while in their hearts they are glad to be inside! H aving scrambled into my clothes I descended into the hall and there saw Jack, strange to say, looking ruddy and healthy, but as excited as a schoolboy playing in his first school m atch. I d id n ’t feel like talking, and Jack was far too nervous to be garrulous, hence few w ords were w asted and in five m inutes time I found myself endeavouring to keep my balance on icy snow. As I trudged along, my resent ment for Jack increased until I began to wonder why on earth I had ever made a friend of him. After all w hat was there attractive about a chap like Ja c k ? The sort of chap who dragged his friend from the arm s of M orpheus on Christm as m orning to g ahvant the streets of London in search of ghosts ! Yet this man had the audacity to call himself a friend ! N evertheless, as we sw ung along, alm ost reluctantly I allowed my antagonism to Jack to wear off. The num bness left my fingers and toes and my stride gradually grew longer. A gainst my will, I began to feel the enjoym ent of this stran g e adventure. My 11 bonhommie with the (policemen caused them to gaze "upon us not too benevolently. Jack, I regret to say, did not share my exuberance. Indeed, he went so far as to tell me to remember th at I was with a respectable journalist ! T his, however, failed to check my exhilaration, and, strange to say, I forgot my previous hatred of Jack. Really, you know, he w asn ’t a bad sort of chap, Jack. By Jove! couldn’t he sling th at ball out to his inside threequarter from the scrum ! Again it suddenly struck me th at Jack s handicap was plus one. Yes, he w as a real, decent, clean-living chap! My train of thought was abruptly interrupted'by the topic of my thoughts. “ Only two m inutes walk n o w ,” whispered Jack, tensely. Ja c k ’s whisper struck me as being an exag gerated precaution, yet, notw ithstanding, it served to key me up and to remind me th at ghosts do not, as a rule, like a g reat deal of noise. Living in London for the greater p art of my life, I had been up Ludgate Hill innum erable times, yet I could never have believed th at even at two o clock in the m orning it could have presented so ghostly a spectacle. I he dark buildings contrasted greatly with the clean, frosty snow. Suddenly on our left we heard a curious rushing noise. W e both drew up abruptly and sim ultaneously grasped each o th e r’s arm and I saw beads of cold perspiration on Jack s forehead. Hai y daring, I glanced round and did my best to laugh, saying to Jack Pull yourself together, man. I t ’s only snow falling from the roof. lack said nothing and walked forw ard very, very steadily About halt way up he stopped and motioned me tow ards a wide doorway which, having reached, h e ’leaned over my shoulder and whispered into my ear Ju st over there, he pointed tow ards the opposite side of the road, a tew yards higher up. “ In the ro ad ? ” I whispered. “ Yes, yes, at the side of the road a tew . . . . O h ! my God. look. It s t h e r H wSa shetrhee!re on ‘the road lay a black object and a huge form was slowly rising from the ground surm ounted by a small, fluttering flame. F or a second I stood petrified lffeless! Then, not know ing why, I dashed across the road, and, a ^ I arrived t k gigantic form bent down over the hole and a sonorous voice broke the stillness of the night. . . ? >» “ C am ’orn, ’Arry, ’ow long yer gonna be, it s just gorn tw o. (,continued a t foot of page 17.) 15

Smouldering Fires. OU look rather down in the m outh, old man. W h a t’s the m a tte r? ” “ M atter indeed ? You would look pretty blue if you had to w rite “ an address to the goddess N ight, in about eight lin e s.’ M atter indeed.” W ith an indignant snort, the poet turned away. “ W ell, fire ahead and w rite them. After all, w h a t’s eight lines? Now if it had been------ ” A carefully aimed book prevented John from statin g the precise num ber— which would, however, have been generously large. W earily running his fingers through his hair, the poet turned again to those eight lines. But somehow they would not flow to-night. As a m atter of fact, not six, five, or even four would flow, and seeing his friend John lounging com fortably in his own easy chair, which he himself was longing to occupy, did not make him any more interested in the vagaries of the goddess N ight. “ W ell, any inspiration? ” m urm ured John helpfully. “ Read it to me as it comes into your head, and I will criticise it— th at is, if you w ant me to ? ” Of course I do. This is the first line. Tell me if you d o n ’t like i t .” N ight drapes her sable m antle o ’er the w o rld .” Yes, i t ’s a lrig h t,” said John slowly and thoughtfully. “ I think, perhaps, the world m ight be sleeping— d o n ’t you? ” 1 suppose it m ig h t,” the poet grudgingly adm itted. H is second attem pt followed. “ N ight drapes her sable m antle o ’er the sleeping w o rld .” John interrupted once more. I hat line is much too long. It would be better if you divided it up a bit, and had it in two lin es.” 1 he poet sighed, tore up w hat he already w ritten, sighed once more and began to w rite again. Presently he produced the following :— “ N ight in lone m ajesty prevails And drapes her sable m antle o ’er the world That, like some tired infant sleeping lies, And dream s o f ..............” " W e l l , ” said John, “ w hat do tired infants dream o f? I d o n ’t know, and I d o n ’t think you do. And d o n ’t you think i t ’s rather a flight of fancy to talk about the whole world as one infant— ‘ tired in fa n t,’ I should say ? ” Your hum our is laboured. O f course I d id n ’t expect you to realise th at that was a simile. ” “ Oh, I see, yes. Very pretty, very pretty. C arry on. You m ust follow it up with som ething equally im aginative.” Perhaps, said the poet heavily, “ since you are so well up in the art of verse-m aking, you would like to w rite it yourself. The E ditor would be glad of a work of genius. It would be such a change from w hat he usually g e ts. 99 1 tl ^ Hive me some paper—and a pencil. I at least can compose

Pulling at his pipe, John thought for the space of fully three seconds, and t e n produced his masterpiece. " th ere, ” he said, looking smugly up, " I think this is more w hat is wanted. Som ething with a kick in it— no tired infants and sleeping w orlds.” I he poet was sceptical about the result, but even then he was not prepared for w hat he read. This is how it ran :— “ One by one The stars peep th ro ’, Shining b rig h t 16

Up in the blue. N ight, the goddess, N ods her head, D rops the curtain And so to bed. ” “ T h at is p o e try ,” said the poet, and fainted. The next day he threw up his job and John w as appointed in his place by the delighted and progressive Editor.

P H Y L L I S KAHN.

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“ A WORD TO THE WISE IS ENOUGH.”

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C o n f e c t io n e r y .

Royd Bakery, W H O L E SA L E ONLY.

Ashbrow Road,

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H U D D E R S F IE L D .

T h e G h o s t OF LUDGATE H i l l — continued from page 15. “ Orl r ig h t,” said a sleepy voice from the bowels of the earth, “ G or’blime! I t ’s the larst time yew ’ll cop me w orkin’ on C hristm as Day. ’Ullo mate, lorst anythink ? ” Know ing myself to be the cynosure of two pairs of eyes, I darted back to J a c k ........... W e walked along, even more silent than before— well, w hat was there to be said ? I was about to leave Jack at my flat when suddenly I turned to him and said “ Of course, Jack, I d o n ’t suppose th at it ever occurred to you th at the underground sewers of London have to be m ad e.” I let this sink in, and with a p artin g shot “ They d o n ’t grow , you know ! ” I concluded bitterly.

J.W.D. 17

College Activities. STAFF NOTES. are due to Dr. Crow, the Head of the Biology Dept., O URwhocongratulations has been made a D.Sc. of London University, thus adding a further doctorate to his qualifications. a , .. We have also to congratulate Mr. J . A. Clarke, A.R.I.B.A., while regretting his departure, on his appointment as Head of the Building Department at Armstrong College, Newcastle. We feel sure that those who frequent the staff tea table will miss his cheerful advice on all their domestic architectural problems. We also regret the loss of Miss B. Fox, M.Sc., Ph.D., of the Biology Department, who is taking up work near her home in S. Wales. To Mr. Clarke and Dr. Fox we wish all success and happiness in their new labours. We extend a hearty welcome to Miss M. Brown, B.Sc., who comes to the Biology Department from Portsmouth Municipal College, and to Mr. J. Campbell, A.R.I.B.A., D.C.M., an Architect of Manchester and lecturer at the Manchester College of Technology, who succeeds Mr. Clarke as lecturer in Building. Miss M. E. Sheard, hitherto an evening lecturer in the Commerce Depart ment, has been appointed to a full time lectureship. We were interested to note the appointment of a former member of the College Staff as Minister of Health in the present Government. The Rt. Hon. Arthur Greenwood started his work on Public Health while at the College ; initiating an inquiry, with the co-operation of a number of students, into “ The Health and Physique of School Children,” the title of the report subsquetly published by him.

THE STAFF WALK: In accordance with ancient custom the Staff, or some of it, concluded the past Session with a walk. From Holmfirth we tramped through the Washpit Valley to Cook’s Study and Dunford Bridge. We were glad to have with us again three staunch walkers among our retired colleagues, Messrs. Fieldhouse, Haigh and Thorp. The almost continuous rain apparently drove away all the ladies but one; but quite failed to damp the ardour of the members who took part. The Host of the hotel where tea was booked, not knowing the stuff the Staff is made of, thought us rained off, and had prepared nothing. The resultant long wait was enlivened by a brilliant game with ring and pegs, (correct designation unknown—consult Athletic Club), of 150 up, in which Mr. Rosenburg beat Mr. Rothwell before an enthusiastic audience ; Dr. Bruce and Mr. Jordinson fielding. The energetic members who walked back to Holmfirth after tea had their reward, the weather clearing up and the dampness of their attire evaporating in a pleasant evening tramp.

STAFF v STUDENTS. Annual Tennis Match. This match played at Ravensknowle on Saturday, July 6th, resulted in a win for the Staff by 18 setts to one ; 119 games to 42. 18

SCORES: Messrs. Beardsell ) 6-0 Echaporia. S 6-1

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OLD STUDENTS’ UNION. Rambles, Etc. Excursion to Hardcastle Craggs. A m erry crowd set off by train to Hebden Bridge. The weather was fine but rath er cold. After lunch all the attractions of the the place (including the swings—by the brave few) were tried. Then shelter from the piercing blast became desirable ; so the dance hall was patronised. When this began to pall the party wandered along the river bank. One of them found the river too fascinating and fell in. After tea the return to the station was made. The time of waiting was filled up by hopping in and out of excursion trains to the great annoyance of railway officials. At last the party managed to squeeze into the right train and so most cheerfully reached home. E aster F riday .—On April 6th a very notable dance was held in the Recruits Room of the Drill Hall. The proceeds, which amounted to Five Guineas, were in aid of the H.T.C. Student’s Effort for the £5,000 Trust Fund for Local Distressed Ex-Servicemen. W h i t -M onday .— Ramble to Chew Valley. On Whit-Monday a small party travelled by train to Greenfield. Then the walk up the Chew Valley commenced. The day was very hot and sunny, and all were ready for a rest when Chew Mount Reservoir was reached. After the descent by the rough path to Crowden, thence by road to Woodhead, a halt was made for tea. The return journey was made over Holme Moss to Holmfirth, and so back to town by bus after a good twenty mile tramp. S aturday , J uly 15th.—A short ramble over the Isle of Skye and round by Meltham was very much enjoyed. F l an n el D ance .—A Flannel Dance was held on Friday, July 20th, at the Y.W.C.A. Rooms, where a very enjoyable evening was spent. E aster M onday .

HUDDERSFIELD

TECHNICAL COLLEGE.

‘•OLD STUDENT’S UNION.” Students leaving the College are earnestly desired to communicate with the Honorary Secretary of the O.S.U., especially those leaving to take up appointments in other towns. Students are met at the stations in towns where past students of the College are resident, and receive hospitality. Membership is open to all students of the College, day and evening. The subscription, 1/-, payable in January, is required merely to cover postage charges incurred in sending out terminal reports of what Old Students are doing, appointments received, social activities, invitations, and other informa tion. Two re-unions are held during the year at Christmas and Easter, and summer excursions, rambles and camping parties during the long vacation. 19

WHAT OLD STUDENTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ARE DOING. (The following news has come to hand since our report in the last issue).

Kathleen Bisbrown, training for Nursing professing. Freda Gent, obtained appointment with Messrs. Riedel, Huddersfield. Mavis Green, B.Sc., Mathematics Mistress at Penistone Gram m ar School. B ertha Green, accepted for training at Hull Training College. Dora H. Rawcliffe, passed P a r t I. Inter B. Com. Examination of London University. Phyllis Kahn, passed Intermediate Arts Exam, of Leeds University. Proceeding to Leeds University. Kathleen Sykes, B.A., appointed English Mistress at Brigg Secondary School, Lincoln. Jessie Westerby, training at the Huddersfield Royal Infirmary for Dispensing. Winifred Spence, obtained temporary post at Woodhouse Open-Air School. Maurice Bower, at Owens College, Manchester. George S. Brayshaw, passed Inter. Science (Engineering) Exam, of London University. Edward Clarke, appointed Curate at Huddersfield Parish Church. Kenneth Cooper, Ph.D., doing Research Work in connection with Leeds Medical School. Edward J. Durker, passed Final B.Sc. (Honours) Exam. London University. John A. Eastwood, received appointment with Central Engine Works, Singapore. Percy Ellam, received appointment with the British Thomson-Houston Company. Eric W. Gledhill, passed Final B.Sc., (Engineering) (Honours) Exam. London University. F. W. Handley, Ph.D., received appointment at the Agricultural College, Boston. Reginald C. Holderness, received appointmentâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Junior Medical Officer at the Tuberculosis Sanatorium, Ilkley. Thomas A. Jenkinson, Ph.D., received appointment with British Celanese, Spondon, Derby. Willie Ibeson, appointed Lecturer at Widnes Technical Institute. Arthur I. Jones, passed Final B.Sc., (1st Class Hons.), Engineering Examination of Leeds University. Cecil I. Jones, passed Intermediate Science (Engineering) Examination of Leeds University. Proceeding to Leeds University. 20

E rn e s t W a lter Muddieman, passed Final B.Sc. Examination, (1st Class Hons.), London University. F. Arthur Stott, passed Final B.Sc. (Engineering) Exam, of London University A. Clifford Walshaw, awarded Royal College of Science Scholarship. J. S. Wignall, Ph.D., appointed Lecturer at Rugby Technical School. E. E. Walker, M.A., B.Sc., formerly Head of the Mathematics Department at Leeds Technical College, appointed Principal of Bournemouth Technical College. John Drake, M.A., B.Sc., at one time Editor of the College Magazine. Appointed Head of King Charles the First School, Kidderminster. — K at hl ee n B r ow n , Hon. Secretary.

COMING EVENTS—SESSION 1929-30. On S aturday , O ctob er 16th, day and evening students, ^assisted by members of the O.S.U. are to present Barrie’s delightful play A Kiss for Cinderella.” The profits are to be devoted to the Effort on behalf of the Local Distressed Ex-Servicemen. The cast includes Florence Tattersall as the loyal downtrodden little waif, and Kathleen Lockwood as the incompetent and charming V.A.D.; Leo Lawson, the Policeman-Prince ; Maurice Holderness, the Tem porary Gentleman and one-time plumber; and Joseph Nixon, the eccentric Professor. The difficult parts of the tiny Allies will be taken by members of Miss Benson’s 1Monettes,” kindly trained by her. These talented children are very well known, and we are looking forward to a great treat. Miss Benson is a member of the O.S.U. The company also includes Minnie Lodge, Constance Carter, Kathleen C. Brown, Florence Lee, Freda Gent, F red a Clarke, Homi Echaporia, Leonard Eastwood, John Addy and Ronald Neaverson. We are extremely grateful to Miss Mabel Edwards who has kindly consented to take a most difficult part, and for her splendid co-operation and kindly help. N. Kitchen is our electrician and in charge of the working gang. E arly in M arch we are to have our own stall at the British Legion Bazaar to be held in the Town Hall. The stall will take the form of “ An Indian Market,” and Indian products, pottery, woven and raffiia articles will be sold. It is anticipated that copies of the Quotation Book, the suggestion for which was put forward by the Old Student’s Union, and to which many distinguished people have already contributed, will also be obtainable from the stall. ^ — P allas A t h e n e .

SWIMMING. W e have no official report, but can say from personal knowledge that the swimmers and would-bes have met at the baths at mid-day on Mondays and dived, jumped, fallen, or been pushed in. The Textile Department has always sent a strong detachment—whether for cleanliness, or to study scouring, or why, we do not know ; but more from other departments would be welcome. The officer in command is Mr. Mettrick, and membership cards are obtainable at the office. 21

ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL CLUB. attention of new and old men students is draw n to the existence of the T H EFootball Club. L ast year members were rath er scarce, and a larger number is desired for the forthcom ing season. The Club has a good ground at Sheepridge, and a good fixture list is being prepared. Practice m atches will be held early in Septem ber and intending players should put their nam es on the list on the notice board. S tudents with no intentions of playing should refrain from decorating this list with nam es like Jack Hobbs, Alec Jackson, e tc .; it is very disheartening to see such infantile wit displayed in the college. It has been suggested th at a class should be held for the purpose of teaching the staff to referee gam es, as they profess complete ignorance on the subject when, approached. A. C R O FT .

MIXED HOCKEY CLUB. 'T 'H E result of last season’s fixtures has, on the whole, been very satisfactory. Considering the influx of new playing members at different periods through out the season, the side has combined together very well. Tw enty m atches were played and of these 11 were won, 7 lost and 2 draw n, with a goal average of 71 against 57. The prospects for the coming season are very bright, inasm uch as in addition to the present members there will be in all probability one or two old members available, who, through various circum stances were unable to turn out last season. W hile on the subject of players may I extend a hearty invitation to any new comers to the college who are desirous of playing during the com ing season. As usual there will be several practice m atches arranged prior to the com mencement of the season’s fixtures, particulars of which will appear on the noticeboard. G. W H IT T L E .

Fixtures 1929-30 (to date). D

a t e

O ct. 5th. „ 12th. „ 19th. „ 26th. N ov. 2nd. „ 16th. „ 50th. D ec. 7th. Jan. 4th. „ 11th. „ 18th. Feb. 8th. Mar. 8th. „ 15th.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

...

p p o n e n t s

Stairfoot ............... T h u r ls to n e ............... K eighley ................ Stairfoot ............... T h u r lsto n e ................ Chapel A llerton ... South Bradford Hopkinsons Ltd. ... Chapel A llerton ... Hopkinsons Ltd. ... South Bradford W alton ............... K eighley ................ W alton ................

r o u n d

... A w ay ... H om e ... A w ay ... H om e ... A w ay ... H om e ... A w ay ... A w ay ... A w ay ... H om e ... H om e ... A w ay ... H om e ... H om e

THE FLANNEL DANCE. 'T 'H E Flannel Dance held in the Y .W .C .A . on Friday, June 21st, was very successful, socially and financially. It was exceedingly well attended, and the evening passed quickly and pleasantly. The profit, which am ounted to £-1 Os. 6d. is to be used to further other efforts on behalf- of Local Disabled Ex-Service Men. K A T H L E E N LO C K W O O D , Hon. Sec. E ntertainm ents Committee. 22

WHAT IS THIS QUOTATION BOOK? ^ H E Technical College Students are making several efforts to raise money towards the £5,000 Trust Fund, so urgently needed for local distressed ExService Men. They have promised to take a stall at the Bazaar to be held under the auspices of the British Legion, at the Town Hall next March to raise money for this purpose. It is hoped to make a substantial contribution to our Fund by publishing a book of short Quotations, grave and gay, with the contributors’ names. These are being collected from past and present students and members of the staff, friends of the College, and all interested in the cause. Fellow Student we want your help :— 1. To give us your Quotation and one from every one of your friends. To cover the cost of printing we are asking Is. for the publication of each Quotation. 2. To advertise and sell the book when printed. Invaluable help has been given by members of the staff. Letters and Quota tions have been sent to us by Lady Haig, Earl Beatty, Earl Jellicoe, Rt. Hon. Philip Snowden, Rt. Hon. Lloyd George, Lord Moyniham, many distinguished old students and prominent townspeople. Quotations may be left at the office or in the Library. Circulars and full details can be obtained from DOROTHY SUTHERLAND, Commerce Dept. ELSIE KAYE, Textile Dept.

SKETCH CLUB. 'JH'HE aims of the Sketch Club have been carried out as successfully as ever during the past session. The Friday evening classes have been well and regularly attended, and much enthusiasm was displayed. At the Monthly Meetings an interesting lecture was given by Mr. J. R. Gauld on “ Modern Painting,” and Mr. B. Shernovitch gave one on “ Dutch Painting.” Mr. Akroyd gave an enjoyable talk at the February meeting, after which there was an interesting discussion. In April Mr. Murray talked on the “ History of Art.” All these were much appreciated. Mr. J. R. Gauld gave helpful criticisms of the competitions at each of the meetings. At the last meeting the members of the Club were taken round the Mexican Exhibition of Children’s Work by Mr. Gauld. All meetings were well attended. For this coming session we are looking forward to another successful year, when we hope to hold a Club Exhi bition and play as usual. All art students should make a point of joining the Sketch Club. M.R.

CHEMICAL SOCIETY. 'T 'H E Chemical Society has once again had a very successful session. The following lectures were given :— Oct. 11.— “ Artificial S ilk .” W . R osenberg, B.Sc. Oct. 26.— “ The H istory of P h o to g ra p h y .” H. Clay, B.Sc. Nov. 8.— “ Steel W o rk s P ro cesses.” W . Rooney, B.Sc. Nov. 23.— “ The Chemical Projection of P sychology.” Dr. Crow. Dec. 6.— “ New K now ledge.” G. M. Green, M .Sc., A .I.C . Jan. 11.— “ Student Life in A m erica.” The Principal. Jan. 24.— “ The Structure of the A to m .” D. M cK erracher, B.Sc. Feb. 21.— “ H ered ity .” A. K ershaw , B.Sc. Mar. 8.— “ A lchem y.” C. W enyon. Mar. 21.— “ C eram ics.” J. Nixon, B.Sc. The visit of the Society to M essrs. Bentley and S haw ’s Brewery on Feb. 8th m arked an historic occasion in the annals of the Society. This Session m eetings will probably be held fortnightly on T hursday after noons at 4 p.m. The subscription for m em bership of the Society is 2s. 6d. New members of the College are given a hearty invitation to join the Society. W . R O S E N B E R G , Chairman. H. CLAY, Hon. Sec.

CRICKET CLUB. rT1 H E Club has been fortunate this season in obtaining the Y .M .C.A . ground at Laund Hill. 4 his is a distinct im provem ent on previous years when there was no ground. The Club had to beg the hospitality of other team s for away m atches only. The possession of a ground with some sort of “ rights ” has resulted in an increase of membership, 25 fully paid up m em bers being on the books— eight tim es as many as last year and probably a record in the Club’s history. N ot only has it been possible to put a full XI. in the field for every m atch, but the team has actually been selected and not filled in by the process of going round to everyone in the college craving the pleasure of their company, and even then turning up short. These new phenom ena are b reath-taking to older members of the College. The ideal has by no means been reached. There is no reason why a College such as ours should not run two cricket team s (and two football team s in the w inter). It may even be possible to run separate— m en’s and w om en’s—hockey teams, though this m ight sound the death knell of the hockey club. Such a state can be attained only when the Clubs have pitches of their own, all part of the ( ollege athletic grounds, and with privileges incidental to their possession. The Club has played nine m atches, of which three have been won, one match tied, and the rest lost. One inter-departm ental match has taken place. This was a g reat success, and it is hoped that there will be more than one such match next season. T he thanks of the Club are due to Mr. Jordinson for his services as umpire. W . R O S E N B E R G , Captain. H. CLAY, Hon. Sec. 24

s.o.s. S t u d e n t s ’ E ffo r t in a id o f t h e L o ca l D is t r e s s e d E x - S e r v ic e m e n .

W A N T E D F O R S E S S I O N H9 2 9 - 3 0 .

(1) .

Students to sell pens and pencils inscribed “ H.T.C. Students’ Effort for LocalDistressed Ex-Servicemen,” in their own departments. Supplies of these pens and pencils may be obtained from the Library. FOR SA T U R D A Y , O C T O B E R 1 6 t h .

(2) .

(3) .

MEN S T U D EN TS. Engineers, Electricians, Joiners, Painters and Decorators, and H an d y m e n , willing to assist in the stage working g ang which is being organized by N. K itc h e n ; also s tew a rd s; and other students willing to act as “ Gentlemen of the Court,’’ (Minor parts) —for the play “ A Kiss for Cinderella,” (Sir James Barrie). (No expense would be involved for costumes). W O M E N STUDENTS.

(a)

Willing to sell tickets, programmes, and to render other useful services.

(b)

To volunteer pianoforte solos, etc., during the two intervals.

(c)

To act as Members of the Beauty Chorus in the play. (No expense for costumes). FOR NO VEM BER 1 1 t h .

(4) .

W a n te d —Volunteers to sell tickets for the Poppy Day Effort; and women students to help in the Mayoress’s Appeal by selling Poppies.

Offers

A s s is t a n c e

for—

(2) to be made to N. Kitchen, (Electrical Engineering Dept.), Florence Tattersall, or Joseph Nixon. (3) (a) and (b) to Kathleen Lockwood (Hon. Sec. Entertainments Section), and (c) to Miss Edwards, c/o. the Library ; or any offers of assistance may be placed in the Students’ Letter Rack, Enquiry office.

Geo. Greenwood & Son, Printers and Stationers, Market St-, Huddersfield