+ HER HEART
THE PERFECT RECIPE FOR A LASTING RELATIONSHIP BY LEN KNITTER
R
isotto, like love, takes time and patience. You shouldn’t pour everything into the pot at the very beginning and just hope it turns out perfect. It helps to follow a recipe and be very deliberate with your stirring, or you’ll ruin the relationship — or even worse, the risotto! I will confess, I have yet to master risotto, but I’ve become much better at being a loving partner. However, I’m not going to tell you what I have to say about love. Instead, I’ll let the beautiful people in my life tell you about love and what they feel it takes to have a loving and lasting relationship. I asked my parents, who have been happily married for 55 years, and my sisters what they thought were the most important ways to have a loving and lasting relationship. I’d like to share their honest and heartfelt responses with you. I hope one of their ideas inspire a positive influence in your love life. Ingredients: 1. A partner who you can love for who they are without the expectation of change. 2. An open heart.
STEP 6: Each of you needs freedom
STEP 13: Laugh over the smallest and
to do your own thing. This is the path to becoming “one” — together and happy. Happiness with each other is the foundation of deep love.
most unlikely things!
STEP 1: Communicate as often as
STEP 7: Go overboard showing
possible. When communicating with each other, be kind, respectful, open, patient, honest and vulnerable. STEP 2: Study your partner. Become
a master at knowing their facial expressions, idiosyncrasies and habits, and know when they need a hug, some space, or a laugh! STEP 3: Be adventurous, not reckless. STEP 4: Maintain good health so
you’re not a burden. But, when not feeling well, be very appreciative of your partner’s concern. Feeling well promotes wellbeing and happiness. STEP 5: Don’t hold a grudge. Pride
can cause relational grudges to linger. Control your pride, and you’ll be happy.
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appreciation for one another.
STEP 14: Don’t put down, insult or
badmouth your partner. STEP 15: Stay in “awe” of your good fortune to have a loving partner in easy times and difficult times.
STEP 8: Say, “I love you” out of the
blue and “thank you” as much as possible. STEP 9: When your love comes home, jump up quickly to give them a kiss and a hug, and whisper in their ear, “I missed you.” STEP 10: Touch when passing each
other. Be intimate even more! STEP 11: Be amazed by your partner so
it’ll feel like the two of you are still on your honeymoon. STEP 12: Continue to go on dates.
When work, family, children and life close in on you, break away for time together.
I follow this advice, and I’ve been with my partner for over eight years. I consider myself the luckiest man in the universe. A few months ago, something came over me, and I felt this huge wave of gratitude wash over me when I was with my partner. I don’t know why, but I just blurted out, “Why are you with me?” She said, “It’s because you don’t try to change me, and you always let me be who I am.” It was a simple, direct and beautiful moment, and it warms my heart every time I relive it. And even though I can’t yet make a decent risotto for my partner, I do make an awesome mushroom and barley soup that she does love. hers-magazine.com
