Together september 2015 pages (6)

Together September 2015

A year without a father

Contents:

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A year without a father New Memories

Chairperson: Nava Soham-Solan CEO: Yuval Lipkin Editing team: Nava Soham-Solan, Michal Meckler, Zur Thon, Bat-Chen Epstein Eliasand, Orian Rosner Translation: Alisa Shilor Designd: Adi Ramot Photography: Koby Koenkas, Efrat Eshel

Everlasting Covenant IDFWO’S Activities

Israel Defense Forces Widows & Orphans Organization 1 Oranim St., Givat Shmuel 54052, Israel Tel: 972-3-6918403 Fax: 972-3-6916483 Email: office@idfwo.org Website: www.idfwo.org Facebook: IDF Widows & Orphans Organization Twitter: @IDFWOorg

IDF Widows & Orphans Organization is deeply grateful for your generosity in supporting our vital work.

To Donate:

www.idfwo.org | +972-3-691-8403, Ext. 8 | office@idfwo.org

Cover: Elyaniv & Heyot Baynesain, Shira Greenberg, Maya Keidar and Amiad Kahlon

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Dear friends,

A

year has passed since the beginning of Operation Protective Edge. During this year, we did whatever we could to improve the lives of the widows and orphans who joined the bereaved families against their will. I hope we have managed to help them even slightly.

When my children were still young, I looked into their eyes and said with hope - “When you grow up, there will be no more wars.” When Yehoram Gaon sang “I promise you, my little girl, this will be the last war,” we fervently believed that this day would come; that is was possible, and that it was not just another cliché.

The silhouette of the Egyptian President Anwar Sadat at the entrance of the plane that brought him to Israel and the signing of the peace treaty with Jordan in the Arava rekindled the hope, the belief that our future would now be better.

Together with Nava Shoham - Solan Chairperson, IDFWO

Perhaps too many people around us gave up on the vision of a better future; they forgot how important the hope for a better future is, as it is an essential quality of human life. Knowing that tomorrow may bring good news that will slightly improve some of today’s difficulties, is an extremely important value. For us, the bereaved families, hope for a future, even a little better, is so important.

We have all known periods when we did not see even a drop of light in our lives; we could not believe that we would see the next sunrise. We looked skeptically at people who said that it would be better. In the end we survived - thanks to the hope, and thanks to the belief that in spite of our misfortune, the situation could be better.

We must demand for ourselves, the members of the bereaved families, the Israeli society and the Jewish nation, a better future. We want to hear constant positive and optimistic messages that can be implemented.

I do not know how dialog for a political solution will happen, but I know, without a doubt, that we must work to achieve it. This is not a political question of right and left - the present frightens all of us, and we have to find a way to change what today appears as our destiny. We must believe that the day will come!

Wishing you a Happy New Year with the hope that you will have many blessings in the year to come.

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A Year

Without a Father Bat-Chen Epstein Elias | Photos: Efrat Eshel Published on 03.07.2015, “Israel Hayom” newspaper

“I am used to my father not being here”, says nine-year-old Amiad in a soft voice. “He was in the army a lot, and now I think it’s as if he is in the army, and he will come back in a little while”. Shira, 8 years old, says that her father is not here, but he is with her “Despite the fact that no one sees him, he sees me”.

The exciting meeting with the Protective Edge orphans

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Elyaniv & Heyot Baynesain, Shira Greenberg, Maya Keidar and Amiad Kahlon

The silence of Maya Keidar is deafening.

Her small smile covers up her teary eyes, and the rolling laughter is immediately followed by a hushed sound because yes, she misses him. She is only ten years old and entering fifth grade. She sits in class, listens to the teacher, does homework, plays UNO, and waits for vacation so she can be in the pool. But when you begin to speak with her about her father, her eyes fill with tears and her throat chokes up – not only hers.

Nearly a year has passed since Maya lost her father, Lieutenant Colonel Dolev Keidar, in battle in Gaza. Keidar was a commander of the Gefen Battalion of the IDF’s Bahad 1 officer training base. He was killed on the 21st of July in Operation Protective Edge, during a battle with a group of terrorists who infiltrated Israeli territory. He was 38 years old, and later his wife, Michal (39) received the Head of Regional Command (Aluf) Citation for his bravery. At home in Modi’in are Maya and her brother and sister: Ori, who is 7.5 years old and Gai who is 3. It’s already a year that Maya longs for her father, for life as it used to be, and tries to get back to routine but knows it is still far away.

When she is here, for a morning of fun intended for the group with the somewhat startling name, Protective Edge Orphans, she feels a greater sense of belonging.

“There’s something good in being with children like me”, she whispers to me. She says that she also felt that way when she participated in the Otzma Camp of the IDFWO last Passover. The camp takes place four times a year, during school va-

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I prefer to be big, to remember at least what he looks like

One girl told me that I deserve that my father died, I didn’t cry but I was very sad

cations. At the camp, in between a visit to Hamat Gader and a chocolate workshop, she met for the first time many other children who went through the things that she is just beginning to experience.

“I met older children, orphans, and it’s actually good to see them, because that way you can see how you will be when you grow up”, she says tapping her fingers on her knees impatiently. “After my father died I discovered that my trainer in gymnastic had also lost her father. Up until then, I didn’t know and it didn’t seem that way. When she told me, I understood what it feels to grow up that way..”. She is unable to complete the sentence.

Maya’s friends who share with her the same fate are sitting on the sofas in the home of Nava Shoham-Solan, IDFWO Chairperson. They are withdrawn into themselves. No one interrupts the others, no one judges. The children of the summer of 2014 ran to the secured spaces during sirens, worried about their fathers who went to the war, and in the end heard the terrible news from their mothers.

Shira, 8 years old and from Hod Hasharon, is the daughter of Major Amotz Greenberg (res.). Her brother, Ori, called him “Superman” at the funeral and did not leave one dry eye among those present. Amotz worked as an investigator in the Israel Securities Authority who volunteered at the age of 45 to return to service in the army reserves. He lost his life on July 19, in the terrorist infiltration near Kibbutz Be’eri on the Gaza border when the Hamas fired an anti-tank rocket at the jeep in which he was traveling.

His widow is Sagit (44), and their three children are Lihi (16), Ori (13), and Shira, who is entering third grade this year.

Elyaniv and Heyot are the children of Warrant Officer Kasahun Baynesain, who was a scout-fighter for the Gaza Division’s Northern Brigade. Kasahun joined Dolev Keidar, Maya’s father, when he went out to scan the area following a terrorist infiltration. They were both killed during the battle with the terrorists. Kasahun received the Brigade Commander Citation following his action in battle. At home in Netivot are Elyaniv (9.5), Heyot (8), Orpaz (2.5) and their mother Galaito (35) who was in her ninth month of pregnancy at the time. The baby girl, Talor,

No one else knows what it is like when a father passes away, except for you

Maya Keidar, Heyot Baynesain, Amiad Kahlon and Elyaniv Baynesain who was born after her father died, is 11 months old.

Amiad (9.5) is the son of Chief Warrant Officer Rami Kahlon who was a recipient of the Chief of General Staff award for excellence in 2013 during his service in the standing army in the Paratroopers Brigade. He was injured by a grenade on the border of Gaza on July 22 and died from his wounds four days later, at the age of 39. At home in Hadera are his widow, Pnina (38) and his four children: Yosial (17.5), Maor Miriam (16.5), Halel (15.5), and Amiad who is entering fourth grade.

They beat me at UNO and Nava at Rummikub. They also play with Shlomi Nahumson, director of youth programs at the IDFWO, and with Alona Asao, who is in charge of youth activities. They dance with the clown who has come to entertain them, and they laugh out loud when they spray white foam on each other. Children.

But when they gather for a conversation in the living room, next to the bowls of snacks and chocolates, their early maturity is apparent. Five children, each of them from a different city and a different culture but they are connected to each other

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by one moment in their lives. That is the moment that also enables them to dance together, to win at UNO, and even to cry together and to understand.

None of the children came here today with his or her mother. Shlomi brought Amiad from Hadera and Shira from Hod Hasharon. Alona brought Maya from Modi’in. Elyaniv and Heyot came by taxi.

“The mothers became single parents, and they went through an extremely difficult year, both emotionally and in taking care of the children”, says Nava. “So when we take the children to camp, the mothers receive a bit of quiet for five days. We are responsible for the children while their mothers get the time to breathe some air and take care of all sorts of things. At the camp there is one counselor for every three campers, enabling the children to meet with an adult figure who will be a role model for them. They will accompany the youngsters at least until they go to the army”.

Several months ago, the orphans from

Operation Protective Edge participated in a ceremony at the Prime Minister’s residence, and even without noticing, they compared the age of the Prime Minister to the age of their fathers who were younger than he is. Their fathers were also younger than Abraham, Isaac and Jacob whom they learn about in Torah class – and they died as heroes. The children prefer the term “passed away” to the words “were killed”. Only in places like these do they feel they can talk a bit more about what they feel, because everyone understands completely just how difficult the last year has been.

Nava tells them that when they will be Bar and Bat-Mitzvah age, each of them will be able to travel with IDFWO to the United States. “Why the United States?” asks Elyaniv, “English is hard for me”. He is a mischievous child with a good sense of humor, he is excited when he hears that he will celebrate his Bar Mitzvah with Amiad, who is his age. They are already making plans together about what they will do at camp. Up until a year ago, there was very little chance that they would meet.

Now they already have a lot to talk about.

“In the United States there is a Jewish community of good people, who provide financial support to the State of Israel and to our organization, because they feel that in this way they help strengthen the State of Israel”, Nava simply explains to them.

“Those people know that you lost your father for the security of the country, so they feel obligated to you. They know that for children who grow up without a father it’s sometimes sad, and they want to do something that will be happy for them”.

“But not everyone in Israel lost their fathers”, Maya tries to clarify. Nava explains

Shlomi delicately asks if in their opinion, if someone is in this situation, whether it is preferable to be born after the father is killed or to enjoy several years with him and then to experience the pain. Elyaniv’s response is firm, “I prefer to be big, to remember at least what he looks like”. At home he makes sure to tell little Orpaz about their father, so that she will remember. He will also always tell his little baby sister who only saw their father in pictures, so that she will know what a hero her father was.

Later, Shlomi will tell me that from his experience, each of the orphans answers according to the situation that he is familiar with. “Those who knew their fathers say that it is fortunate that they were able to know them and those who did not know their fathers say that sometimes it actually is calming because they did not experience the loss but were born into an existing reality. Maybe at an older age they will want to know more about their fathers, to know more about where they came from”.

From the moment that they enter the bereave family, IDF Widows & Orphans Organization is there at the meaningful moments in their lives, those in which a father is very significant – with a school backpack and supplies upon entering first grade, at the time of Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah celebration, with a bag of supplies upon entering the army, with a scholarship for education, and a wedding present. “We cannot be a replacement for a father but we can be a support group and a second home to the widows as well”, says Nava.

Heyot and Elyaniv got to know Nava well when members of the IDFWO, including young people who are themselves IDF orphans, came to renovate their yard in Netivot. “I heard mother and father always saying that after father finishes his army

service and retires, he would make the garden more beautiful”, says Heyot. “And then suddenly, he’s not here anymore, and someone else comes to help us do it, and it is so nice. When I saw that the children who came are themselves IDF orphans, I understood that I am not alone, that not only am I an orphan but that there are other children that don’t have a father”.

“These children are able to talk about the loss only when they are at the camps or IDFWO events”, says Nava. “They cry, and then console each other, and they have legitimization to be who they are, far from the roles they have at home. Many of them mature early, when they understand that they have to fill the void. But in the camps they are just children. They are in a group like

Kasahun Baynesain

Rami Kahlon

Dolev Keidar

Amotz Greenberg 7

Despite the fact that no one sees him, he sees me...

that here, in the activity intended for the IDF orphans, everyone lost a father or mother, and remained with a black hole that does not disappear with the years.

“No one else knows what it is like when a father passes away, except for you”, she says. But 8-year-old Heyot is not satisfied.

“Not everyone knows what it’s like when a father is killed in the army, because there are those who aren’t born yet”, she says referring to her baby sister, Talor, “When she was born I was happy and sad at the same time. I said to myself, ‘Wow, how is this going to be without our father? Why isn’t he here? He has to be here.’” She leans back on the sofa, withdrawing into herself.

Elyaniv, her 9.5-year-old brother, didn’t at all understand that his mother was going to give birth. “In the middle of the night she was bleeding, and then in the morning my aunt said that we have a new sister.

She is the same aunt who told me when Orpaz was born. I completely forgot to think about father having passed away. I was happy to have a new sister. But Talor did not have the chance to be with him, she doesn’t even have one picture with him. With Orpaz my father really waited for her to be born”.

Nava Shoham-Solan, Alona Asseo, Maya Keidar and Heyot Baynesain

themselves, in which it is possible to feel more comfortable than in other groups”.

Last month the ceremonies took place in memory of the fathers. (In the first year the memorial ceremony is held 11 months following the death.) At the same time, end of year celebrations took place in schools. Heyot tells us that she had a Body percussion workshop, and that she dressed up as a queen. Amiad had an activity with survival games and the instructor also put make-up on the children. He still has signs of rouge on his face. Shira had a dance party in which they also organized a waltz for parent and child or couples, “and I danced with a friend and afterwards we played tag”.

Shira, went to the party for receiving the Torah at school with her mother, Sagit, and explains, “My friend, who came with her father, said that it’s fun for me that I came with my mother. I looked at her, thought for a moment, and said, ’don’t feel bad that your father came with you. I, for example, don’t have a father. My father isn’t here, but he is with me all the time. So even though

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no one sees him, he sees me. It’s as if he is here now.’”

She is a beautiful and bashful girl. She says in the simplest way that she “thinks about her father a lot, especially at school.

I cry because my father was responsible for the education and my mother for the food. He would take me to school, help me with schoolwork put everything in my backpack for me, and my mother would bring me food. Now, my sister Lihi helps me sometimes, and my brother also helps a little”.

Shira has a trick. Before she tells her sister that she has homework, she asks her what she would answer if someone would ask her, for example, about one or another problem in math. “And she simply tells me the answer. My father knew this trick.

It worked once or twice in the beginning, and afterwards he understood it. But she hasn’t understood yet”, Shira laughs.

Since her father was killed, she and her siblings have a better relationship. They take care of one another and help each other out, “We are together in a way that

we weren’t always before. They also came to my end of year party at school”.

Nava tells them her life story. She was widowed 33 years ago when she lost her husband Ra’anan, who was killed in the First Lebanon War. She had a sevenmonth-old daughter, Hagar, and a son who was six and a half, Lior. Five years later she met Yaakov Solan, and married him. She felt that she found a father for her children, and someone who will also make her happy, because up until then she was very sad. Together they had two more children.

And perhaps they, too, Maya and Shira, will one day have another father.

Shira responds, “No. I don’t want another father”.

Nava answers, “But another father can take you on trips”.

Shira says, “There is no one like my father, not even a little. He would go with me on trips, joke around with me. For example, every day I would say to him, ‘Dad, I didn’t get a candy today.’ And he would buy me a candy. There’s no one like him”.

Heyot, “There is a father who surpasses

My friend, who came with her father, said that it’s fun for me that I came with my mother.

I looked at her, thought for a moment, and said, ’don’t feel bad that your father came with you. I, for example, don’t have a father. My father isn’t here, but he is with me all the time.

him right, Elyaniv? Tell her”. She laughs, defending their father.

Amiad straightens his kippa on his head, sinks into the sofa. Last Passover, he will tell me afterwards, he asked his mother if they will have a new father. When she put the Cup of the Prophet Elijah on the table and covered it, he told her that Elijah won’t hear that way and won’t bring him a new father.

“I am used to my father not being here”, he says in a soft voice. “He would go to the army all the time, and now I think that it is as if he is in the army, and he will come back in a little while”.

Nava asks what happens when his father doesn’t return, and Amiad answers, “Nothing”, and again withdraws into himself.

Maya also feels a little as if her father is in the army now, as always. “And when he doesn’t come back, I am sad”.

Amiad’s father was critically wounded at the Gaza border and evacuated to the Soroka Medical Center, where he struggled for his life for four days.

“During those days I stayed with my aunt,

because my mother was at the hospital with my father. When she returned home, she came to me with my uncle and said that my father passed away. I cried a lot.

But since then, I didn’t cry at all. Even if they hit me at school, I didn’t cry”.

About a month and a half after Rami was killed, Amiad was injured in a traffic accident when he was riding a bicycle, and was hit by a jeep. He suffered from multiple injuries, was taken by ambulance to the Hillel Yaffe Medical Center, and was hospitalized for a week and a half until he was released and recuperated. “I knew that the situation was not good. It was a little like what happened with my father, intensive care and hospital. It was a little difficult. Actually, I also cried in the accident. But it is already over”.

Elyaniv also does not cry. “Let’s say that kids are arguing with me at school, even if it is the strongest boy in the class, if he would say something about my parents, I would jump on him. But I don’t cry because of him”.

They are surrounded by friends. Shira has several close friends, and they make sure to meet almost every afternoon. Twice a week she goes to a jazz activity. Maya goes to a gymnastic class twice a week, “and I am also assistant instructor for 4 to 8 year old girls”. Once a week she goes to the Israel Scouts.

Amiad, a relatively tall boy for his age, goes to a basketball club twice a week.

He also likes to meet with friends, but in the last two months his mother explained to him that there needs to be at least one day at home, with the family. “And then, we are at home, and we play board games or I play by myself. We also went back to doing Sabbaths at home, without going to family or friends. My siblings asked to invite a friend for the Sabbath, and my mother at first said that it’s preferable not to do so, but afterwards she said that she wants everything to be as usual, so she agreed”.

Nava says that children at school don’t always know how to behave around orphans. Heyot and Shira talk about how children can be mean. Each of them heard from another girl, during an argument, “You deserve it that your father died”.

“One girl said that to me”, Heyot says with emotion. “I didn’t cry”, but I was very sad.

I told the teacher, and she punished her for two minutes. Then my friends called Elyaniv and he hit her. Afterwards her father came and spoke with her”.

Nava says, “It hurts to know that father went to save us, and that’s how they speak about him”.

Shira adds, “If the father of that girl would die and Heyot would say to her that she deserves it, it wouldn’t be pleasant for her. They also said it to me, one girl from fourth grade. I told the teacher, and she told the principal, who called her to the office and they punished her. I began to cry in class, and then they called my sister.

She goes to a different school, but nearby, and she came to take me so that I would be with her during the break.

“I cry a lot, especially in Torah class because in Torah lessons we speak about people that die – Abraham who dies, Cain and Abel. Bad things also happen, and then I am reminded of my father. When my mother is sad, I hug her and tell her how much I love her and my siblings”.

This summer, they hope, will look differently. Maya is supposed to go on vacation with friends and family to the Black Forest in Germany. After she comes back she expects to participate in the IDFWO summer camp. Shira plans to be with grandparents in Kibbutz Yotveta, at the home of her father’s parents. Her brother Ori intends to travel with IDFWO to summer camp in the United States. Everyone is planning a lot of beach and pool, to try to forget the pain and the cruelty.

On the day marking one year from the death of Amiad’s father, Rami, his family is organizing an evening of commemoration together with Rami’s friends. Amiad decided that he does not want to speak at the event like his siblings, but just to sing together with his friends a song dedicated to his father.

Now they’ve gone back to running around in Nava’s yard. They are swinging in the hammock, playing tag. Heyot asks me if we will meet again. I remind her that we met after her little sister was born, and with big and innocent eyes she asks, “That was when my father was alive or not?” My heart breaks. “Ah, you mean after Talor was born...because when Orpaz was born he was alive. Now...now this is something different”.

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g n i t s a Everl ovenant C Master Sergeant Zidan Saif defended worshippers in an ultra-orthodox neighborhood in Jerusalem.

With his bravery he succeeded in creating unity across religions and ethnic groups.

Zur Thon Photos: Koby Koenkas, Flash 90 and the Police Spokesman Ever since his childhood, Zidan dreamed of being a police officer.

He loved the mission and felt connected to the role and the way of life. Everyone who knew him said that he is well suited to it. In the village in which he grew up and was educated, it is generally the norm to serve the state and its residents. Last November he was transformed from being another traffic policeman in the Jerusalem district, when he became an Israeli hero. On his way to work, he found himself at the site of a terror attack taking place in a synagogue in the religious neighborhood of Har Nof. Zidan immediately drew his weapon. He entered a shooting battle with the terrorists and even succeeded in injuring one of them. He was shot from close range and died from his wounds. The event may be remembered in history as what changed the relationship between the ultra-orthodox Jews and the Druze in Israel.

“Please let’s not place blame on the murderers and let’s not speak about their intense hatred for us and for our country. I am not angry at anyone. I am angry at the fate and to the same extent and at the same time I believe that this is the will of God”, said his widow, Rinal. Anger is not a factor here - not towards who sent him and not towards him, for leaving her alone. This is fate and thus it has been determined. From her perspective, Zidan was a hero in his lifetime and a hero in his death.

I meet Rinal in the village of Yanuah in the Galilee, at a home that was built for the young couple on the family land, next to Zidan’s brothers and parents. The environment in which he lived was completely different from the environment in which he died. It is impossible to ignore that she looks like a young girl, only 22 years old.

They hadn’t yet forgotten the wedding, and she is already facing

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t

Rinal Saif

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one of the most difficult challenges of life.

They were married for less than a year and a half, and on her knees is their daughter, Larin, not yet six months old. “When we met, I was a high school student and there were a lot of objections, primarily in my family. There was a significant difference between us. I also grew up in a different village, and that wasn’t customary. But we insisted until they agreed. He was under pressure, knew that he had found the woman of his life, and was afraid to lose me. My father said that if I would enroll in higher education, he would agree that I become engaged”.

He doesn’t answer the telephone Zidan would go early Sunday morning by bus to his place of work in Jerusalem, and come back on Thursday night. Sometimes he would get time off for one night and then they would spend time together.

“I studied six days a week and we would have to coordinate a long time in advance in order to meet. On such a free day we loved not doing anything, just taking walks and being together”.

“On that Tuesday”, she says, “he sent a message at 6:30 to let me know that he got up, like every day. He always would notify me before he left for work. I went with a friend to the kindergarten in Acco for my teacher training. Zidan spoke about coming home on vacation the following day to spend time with me. I sat with my friend in a coffee shop. At seven o’clock I told her that I didn’t feel well. ‘When did you speak with him?” she asked. I answered, ‘half an hour ago.’ She laughed, ‘What can happen in half an hour?’ But I felt something and couldn’t sit still. I had no appetite, only wanted water, and Zidan didn’t answer. I sent him messages and called.

We went into the classroom and she began teaching, while I sat on the side, concerned. Zidan and I had an agreement between us, that if he can’t answer he would send a certain signal so that I would know that everything was alright. This time he didn’t respond. I wrote to him, ‘What happened? Why aren’t you answering?’

This had never happened before for more than a few minutes. There was no answer until 8:30, and then someone answered.

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They took me aside by myself. He was lying down, connected to lots of devices. We kissed and hugged him.

Apparently they let us part from him.

‘Who are you?’ I asked. ‘Alla,’ responded Zidan’s cousin who is also a police officer.

He said that Zidan was injured in his leg.

I felt that something bad had happened. I asked to speak with him and he told me that he is in an x-ray. ‘Prepare yourself,’ he said. I understood that there is something they are not telling me, and all this time I was still in the classroom, crying in front of the children. They were looking at me, staring. My friend was teaching and I was crying. The teacher’s aide tried to calm me and didn’t succeed. They asked why I was crying and I had no explanation.

Then Alla called and said that I had to go home because they were sending me a police car to go to him. He was in Hadassah Hospital. I asked, ‘Did Zidan die?’ and he denied it answering, ‘Why do you think that way?’ But I knew that for someone who is critically injured they send a police car. If his condition is not serious, they don’t send anyone. They asked me to tell his parents. I asked his brother to do that. How could I relay such a thing?

I had to go back to the village, but there was no bus. I called my father to come and take me. From the school to the central bus station it took me the same amount of time as it took him to come from the village. I don’t know how I even got there. I didn’t see the road through all my tears.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t speak at all. I didn’t understand how it could possibly be that only a year passed and he would leave me. It can’t be so. This is what I said to myself all the time, but I understood that this was what happened. The thoughts were run-

ning through my head. When my father came, I didn’t say anything. He already saw the pictures from the incident on television. He felt it and so did my mother. Every time that something happened they thought about Zidan. When there had been the attack with the vehicle they immediately called him. This time they weren’t able to call him. In Tarshiha they waited for us, and were in a hurry to get to Jerusalem. It was urgent. His mother, his brothers and his aunt were already in the police car. His father followed us in a different car. Those were two hours that felt like a year. We all cried, I screamed that Zidan wouldn’t leave me. Every few minutes I asked the driver when we would get there. They updated him on the situation all the time, and he had to calm us. I tried to hear what he was saying, but I couldn’t.

At first he spoke on the loud speaker, and afterwards he didn’t. It was clear that he was under pressure and he drove very fast.

When we got to the hospital we ran up the stairs. There were many people and a lot of cameras. A social worker and a psychologist waited for us outside. They took me aside by myself, to an entrance without the media. He was lying down, connected to lots of devices. The door was open, and people were going out and coming in. We kissed and hugged him. Apparently they let us part from him. We kept hoping but we understood and remained outside of the room, waiting for a sign of optimism. They updated us that there was a one percent chance of his remaining in a vegetative state. During the night, a doctor came and told us that nothing had changed, ‘Allah will have mercy on him’, he said. We refused to believe, we dressed him in a groom’s suit, and we knew that this is the end.

Thousands of Jewish people at the funeral The funeral was already the following day. The news of Zidan’s burial was spread through the social networks throughout Israel, and in the ultra-orthodox sector as well. “Come for the sanctification of God’s name“, they wrote there. People were called to come to honor someone who in his death saved life. “We didn’t think that so many people would come.

While usually dozens of Jews come to a

Jews and Druze at the funeral funeral, thousands attended. It was a great surprise, and people came who had never been here before. They called and asked for directions. There was such a traffic jam that at some point they stopped them before the entrance, near the village of Kfar Veradim, and blocked the roads. It was an amazing sight, the biggest funeral that there ever was here, according to the Sheikhs”.

Among those who gave eulogies were the President of the State of Israel, the Minister of Public Security, and the Police Commissioner. They praised Zidan with words of exemplary pride and bravery.

President Rivlin referred to him as “one of the best young men in the country”. The head of the Druze religious community, Sheikh Tarifa, spoke about the need to transform the covenant sealed in blood to a covenant of life and concluded his words with “Allah will have mercy on him”. This is of great significance. Rinal’s father, Ahmad, explained, “They say that only for someone who was killed for the sake of the country. It is a great honor. It was the decision of the religious leadership that treated him as if he was religious. This

happens only under special circumstances, makes the family happy, and symbolizes that he died having lived an honorable life”.

The story of Zidan’s bravery crosses not only religions but also borders and continents. Several months after the murder Rinal and her father returned from a twoweek visit to New York City as guests of the Jewish community there. During the visit they participated in a number of ceremonies and events in memory of Zidan.

Rinal spoke in every ceremony in which they participated. In addition to the personal story of her late husband, she also spoke about the need for unity and the special historical connection between the religions. It is a connection that is worthy of strengthening and preserving. “There was no Jew who heard that we were there and didn’t want to meet and to assist. We received a royal welcome there, even more so than in Israel. They prepared a flag and a cake with the symbol of the Druze and allowed us to take pictures on the Sabbath. They treated us like the family of a hero, we felt at home. At the ceremony in a large and magnificent synagogue, in our honor they removed the partition between the sections for men and women so that everyone sat together. When I spoke, everyone stayed and no one left because I am a woman. We felt that influential and capable people were there. We floated on air and were in euphoria. They didn’t

“We didn’t think that so many people would come. While usually dozens of Jews come to a funeral, thousands attended. It was a great surprise, and people came who had never been here before.”

Rinal Saif believe that we came all the way there and that such a story could happen. This changed their opinion of us. We always knew that they are modern people, but we didn’t feel equal. Zidan did a great service for the Druze. Perhaps now they will begin to relate to a person according to his deeds”.

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New Memories Zur Thon and Orian Rosner | Photos: The Knesset speaker’s office

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Miri Mesika and IDF orphans singing the song of hope

Even someone who experienced Memorial Day for decades does not get used to its special and powerful impact. This year IDFWO accompanied the widows and orphans who for the first time are going through this very painful experience. • Busy days at the Prime Minister’s Office, the Knesset and Mount Herzl.

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year I am sad and ”This disappointed. I am sad because it is a sad day, and disappointed because my father isn’t here now

”

It’s already a lot more The Prime Minister’s Office 16 young people are walking with some than a day and a half uneasiness towards the conference room for the fascinating meeting with their of commemoration. The Prime Minister. Among them are six orphans from Operation Protective Edge, difficult two weeks the echoes of its battles not having yet subsided: Elyaniv and Heyot Baynesain, that connect Holocaust who lost their father Kasahun; Lihi and Shira Greenberg who lost their father, Remembrance Day Amotz; Amiad Kahlon, the son of Rami; with Memorial Day and and Maya Keidar, the daughter of Dolev.

For them this is not the story of a battle Independence Day have heritage, but reality. A year has not yet passed since their disaster. It is the first already become the Israeli official meeting for them as orphans, and the Prime Minister will immediately season of mourning. An join them. This is the most complex year emotional continuum brings in their lives, when in one second they became public images. During this periforth the pain of this country od of time, their bereavement has been “padded” by the mourning of the entire and its people each year. country. Everyone still remembers the names of their deceased fathers and of their mothers who were interviewed on

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television. In a few moments the Military Secretary will enter the room and quietly announce that the Prime Minister will enter right away. Heyot is the first to show courage and asks the Prime Minister how he felt when his brother was killed. “As if they amputated a hand or foot with an axe”, answers Netanyahu and immediately adds in a calm tone, “but life is like a river, that flows on and goes to new places, and finds the way to overcome”. Shira tries to somewhat lighten the heavy atmosphere that was created and takes the discussion in another direction, “Do you enjoy life?” The adults in the room seem pleased with the question. Netanyahu answers “When I am with my family I am happy, I love going to the beach with them. What do you find fun?”. “To meet with friends, “she answers.

The Knesset

”

This day is a beginning You touch a new page On this day a prayer will be carried Know that there’s someone listening Don’t give up immediately And you have a distance to go Don’t give up immediately If not now maybe in another year

(Song of the Hope, words by Michael Vaknin; music Shimon Buskila, singer Miri Mesika)

”

In the middle of the ceremony at the Knesset on Memorial Day, Shlomi Nahumson, IDFWO Director of Youth Programs, gets up and signals to the children to leave for the Artists’ Room. Very quietly they go past the ushers until they get to a room where Miri Mesika is seated.

Even though her manager is urging her to hurry up because she is about to begin to sing, she stops and hugs each and every child. Immediately afterwards she invites the children to join her, “I invite the most exciting children that there are”, she says, and they go up to the stage. This is the Me-

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so moving”. “I always thought that this song is beautiful”, says Yuval, daughter of Major Ran Kochba who lost his life in 2006 in the Second Lebanon War, “and of course this song speaks about hope”.

“Hope”, adds Shira Greenberg, Ori’s sister, as she explains what hope is. “Hope is when you have something good that will happen to you, but not now, but let’s say in another year”. Heyot says, “Even if it’s sad, don’t lose hope, and I also think that way.

When I hear the words, ‘There is loneliness and there is pain,’ I have a feeling of sadness because it causes me to think about my father”. “At this time last year, I planned how I would celebrate the eve of Independence Day,” says Ori Greenberg, “For me, there was a ceremony at school and then Memorial Day ended. Now it’s very different. This day is sadder for me than usual, because during the other

Heyot is the first to show courage and asks the Prime Minister how he felt when his brother was killed.

“As if they amputated a hand or foot with an axe”, answers Netanyahu.

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morial Day Ceremony at the Knesset and everyone is very excited. A song that actually begins with the words “This day is the beginning” concludes the official ceremony. The children, among them the orphans of Protective Edge, are sparkling in the blue lights of the stage. Shai Efrati, 10, daughter of St.-Sgt. Maj. Ehud Efrati, who in 2007 lost his life in Gaza, says to the audience at the end of the song, “May there be no more wars”. She invites the IDF soldiers to sing Hatikva together with all the children. When the singing of the hymn is completed, all the ceremony guests including the Prime Minister, Minister of Defense, and the Knesset Speaker hurry to the children to hug them and to shake their hands. Ori is the 13-year-old son of Amotz Greenberg who lost his life in Operation Protective Edge. Ori explains how very excited he was when he went up on the stage. “In situations of pressure, you suddenly feel your body more, and my whole body began to itch, “but I withstood it in the end, and it was wonderful”.

Heyot Baynesain agrees and says, “It was a lot more fun than the rehearsals”. When they go back to the Artists’ Room, a woman from the audience comes in and says, “You are amazing, well done. You were

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days you nevertheless run around and you don’t have time to think”. Elyaniv, Heyot’s brother, also still doesn’t know how he will experience Independence Day. “This is our first Memorial Day. In the past we didn’t care about it. We didn’t understand why our mother would read Psalms on this day. Today I understand it was for the soldiers”. Heyot adds, “This year I am sad and disappointed. I am sad because it is a sad day, and disappointed because my father isn’t here now”.

The Military Cemetery on Mount Herzl It is difficult to break the permanent silence among the white stones of the Military Cemetery on Mount Herzl.

This awe-inspiring place absorbed in its strength and symbolism of all of the cries of despair that ever came forth from the dry throats of the mourners of Israel.

Only once a year a different sound takes over. The spring breeze shakes the small flags that are placed on every grave, and people surround the memorial stones in prayer, crying, and quiet conversations.

Iddo Levita, 26 years old, is a counselor in the IDFWO Otzma camp and a philos-

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ophy student. Today Iddo and additional counselors from the camps are dispersed among the military cemeteries with the special goal of meeting orphans and widows who visit the graves of their fathers and husbands. The counselors want to say a good word to the families, to give them a warm hug. They are called the ‘Otzma Hugs Unit’. “We are four counselors from IDFWO who came to Mt. Herzl”, says Iddo, “It is not simple to be in this place on Memorial Day. The people who are all around us here came to these stones that mean a lot to them. It is an empowering experience. There are thousands of stones here and thousands of Israelis who come.

We have a list of members of IDFWO whose parents are buried on Mount Herzl, and the objective is to get to everyone – to meet them even for a moment. The area is huge, not easy to orient yourself within it, and everything takes place more or less simultaneously. Due to the amount of people, even the cellular networks don’t work well and our group divided up. We can’t find each other. We already met the police force orphans, and now we are continuing to look for all the rest. We have to get to everyone”. Iddo and the other people in the ‘Hugs Unit’ had previously gathered stones, wrote the word “Otzma” on them, added a small heart, and placed them on the graves that the IDFWO members will

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When I hear the words, ‘There is loneliness and there is pain,’ I have a feeling of sadness because it causes me to think about my father visit shortly. The custom of placing a stone on a grave comes from, among other reasons, the desire to be a symbolic part of building the grave and preserving it over the years.

More and more family members come to Mt. Herzl. The ceremonies began and ended. For two long minutes the traditional siren stopped all the activity. Iddo Levita explains that in the evening before Memorial Day he read in tears a post written by one of the young orphans. He wrote primarily about his mother, a fallen IDF soldier, and his coping with her passing. “He is a strong young man, 16 years old”, Iddo says. “It is difficult to see in the everyday life how sensitive and gentle he is. I so much wanted to meet him here, and I did. I hugged him and told him how much I was moved by reading his beautiful words. That’s why we come here, that’s why we call this project ‘The Hugs Unit’.

Thanks!

Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein founder and president of the IFCJ FIDF Heseg Foundation AEPi Fraternity

Shana Tova May this New Year be filled with success, happiness and sweet moments for you and your family

The board members of the Brownstone foundation Canada board members USA board members Nikki Keidar The Mesodita Bendahan charitable foundation Chicago host families Toronto host families Montreal host families

Nava Shoham-Solan Chairperson

We wish a quick recovery to our dear supporter Mr. Peter Ekstein

!‫שנה טובה ומתוקה‬

!!!‫תודה רבה‬ 19

Find out how we spend

the money generously donated by our supporters.

Otzma Camps Two important and significant milestones were added this year to the activities we run for the orphans. We invited children ages 9.5-12 to join for the first time the Otzma Pesach camp.

Children of all ages enjoyed the fun and empowering vacation at the Upper Galilee with their peer group and with the experienced and committed staff. The second milestone took place this summer, when for the first time we added a fourth Otzma camp. The summer camp in Jerusalem was a refreshing pause during the long summer vacation. Out of committed to continue strengthening the camps and to expand the age range of campers we had campers from age 6 until 18. A special thanks to the IFCJ, led by Rabbi Eckstein for his generous support of the camps, and Nikki Keidar, Lieutenant Colonel Dolev Keidar’s sister in law. Nikki took upon herself the task of raising the necessary funds for the summer camp that took place thanks to her tremendous efforts.

The Brownstone During the Bar-t Mitzvah trip to North America our children enjoyed an incredible evening in honor of their Bar & Bat Mitzvah celebration at The Brownstone.

Each child received a prayer book and an iPad from our supports in NYC. We thank Yoni Greenwald and The Brownstone board members for arranging and sponsoring an unforgettable event.

Sponsor a camper for four annual camps - $2,160 For one camp - $540 20

Children from Otzm a summer together w camp in Je ith IDF W rusalem O supporte and R abbi rs Mark & Jonathan Dana Jaso & Jordana n Morgenst ern

Annual convention of Jerusalem Post in NY Nava Shoham Solan, IDFWO’s chairperson, and Yuval Lipkin, IDFWO’s CEO, participated in the annual convention of Jerusalem Post in NY. Among the 1,500 people who participated were Congress members, Knesset members, former IDF commanders, pro-Israel leaders, donors and more. The subject of the gathering was the Geo politic challenges that Israel has to cope with, like the agreement with Iran, ISIS, the relationship between Israel and USA and more. IDF Widows and Orphans Organization showed his welfare activities by a short movie. In the end of the movie Nava gave a certificate of appreciation to Lieutenant Colonel Meir Almalem, a paratroopers Brigade commander who fought in Gaza in the “Protective Edge” operation.

Annual Convention for IDF Widows IDF Widows & Orphans Organization conducted its annual convention for IDF widows.

During this day the widows enjoyed an interesting lecture and a performance that thrilled the audience. At the convention IDFWO’s volunteers were handed a certificates of appreciation for their dedicated work.

A gift from you could give hope to thousands of widows and orphans of IDF fallen soldiers.

AEPI convention On august 14th we were honored to receive a gift of $100,000 from Alpha Epsilon Pi at their annual international convention.

Thanks to their generosity and support and the Jewish communities all over the world we are able to continue with our activities for the widows and orphans of IDF fallen soldiers.

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Run & Remember So many magic moments in one event!

IDF Widows & Orphans Organization families alongside with Golda Och Academy-Neshama #23‬‬students ran the 2015 Jerusalem Marathon in memory of our loved ones. Yossiel, who has lost his father Rami z”l who was killed in Gaza during Operation Protective Edge last summer, ran with the Amitai family whose father Yaron z”l was killed during the Second Lebanon War, alongside with Avital, who was born shortly after her father, Yossi z”l, who was killed in the Yom Kippur War in 1973 and other IDFWO families.

They ran in memory of their loved ones, with the amazing spirit and support of the young Neshama students of the Golda Och Academy in NJ. It was an amazing and inspiring day for all of us.

Football quiz Huge thanks to Jamie & Aron Lazaraus for organizing a Football quiz charity event supporting the children of our fallen heroes. The quiz included questions about all aspects of world football, past and present. We had more than 100 participants and raised money for the Otzma summer camp.

Sponsor a child entering first grade - $300

First grade Dozens of IDF orphans are entering first grade this year, but all the excitement of the new beginning will be mixed with sorrow and longing. Once again, IDFWO has made an effort to support the widows and orphans during this special time of their lives by purchasing school supplies for the orphans.

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Bar & Bat Mitzvah Trip to North America A group of nearly 40 Bar & Bat Mitzvah IDF orphans joined the Bar & Bat Mitzvah trip to North America, gift of IDFWO and its partners. The message these children received from our supporters is that choosing life, growth and love is possible. We thank those who have made a contribution and we hope others will join in as partners.

Sponsor a Bar/t Mitzvah child $3,600

Thank you!

The Bar/t Mitzvah children will continue their celebration on October 12th at the Bar/t Mitzvah ceremony in Jerusalem.

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They feel the pain everyday Help us bring back the smile to their faces Support the Orphans of the I.D.F

Donate now www.idfwo.org/donate.htm

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Tel. 972-3-6918403 Ext. 8