Just4Girls/Just4Guys 2023-24

With Purpose

It’s difficult to be a girl in the 2020s…

You’re living in two demanding worlds: the real world and the online world. The pressure builds quickly between dealing with school, activities, sports, and even your home life. Never mind the complexity of relationships—both friendships and romantic.

Underneath all the pressure, you have dreams and hopes for your future. You’re on a journey to become a strong, independent woman willing to work for a meaningful life. To get there, you’ll have to make countless decisions. Many of the choices made during this time will affect you for years to come, both in positive and difficult ways.

From understanding the importance of choosing who you surround yourself with and how you think about yourself and your body, to if you should send a nude or deciding when to start having sex, these choices can change your life.

Your journey to a successful, fulfilled, and purposeful life begins with making a commitment to learn how to choose the right things. Sometimes you might fail, but every day you get the opportunity for a new beginning.

Inside this magazine, you’ll find facts and tools to help you make good choices. For example, have you ever heard of the Success Sequence?

Probably not. According to the Brookings Institute, you’ll have only a 3% chance of living in poverty if you earn at least a high school diploma, maintain a full-time job, and wait until marriage to have children. This means a 97% chance of living free from poverty.1

I started high school...

as a confident, kind, and fun girl. I had my crew and the four of us conquered freshman year together. I felt secure in who I was—but my friends did not. They wanted popularity and started making decisions I didn’t agree with. I stood my ground and told them I wasn’t willing to do certain things to seem cool.

My friendships with them began to feel like a roller coaster. I never knew if they liked me or wanted me out of their sight. Sometimes they’d want to talk with me and other times I was given the silent treatment. Mostly, they pointed out how to ‘fix’ me and how I was ‘such a drag’ to them. It shattered my confidence. I couldn’t imagine losing my only high school friends. I began being willing to do or say anything to remain friends with them. I had a choice to put up with them or choose to be alone. Loneliness in high school was my ultimate fear.

Shortly after, my friends asked to meet with me and told me that, behind my back, they had agreed to “throw me out” of our friend group. All of a sudden, I was given a new set of rules. No longer could I speak with them, sit with them at lunch, or hang out with them outside of school. I felt betrayed. It worsened when they began to bully me, spread rumors, and even turn classmates and teachers against me. My worst nightmare had happened—I was all alone and people were believing all sorts of lies about me. What could be worse?

I felt the urge to lose myself in relationships with boys and superficial things to mask the pain. I wanted to show everyone they couldn’t get the best of me. I was desperate to be accepted because I had been hurt.

Thankfully, I realized that if I chose to hook up with boys because of the pain I was in, the effect of those decisions would last far beyond high school. They’d be reminders I’d carry with me all my life from this broken time. With this perspective, I felt the courage to persevere through this tough time. I didn’t want it to ruin the life I was just beginning!

Instead of losing myself in things that would bring me further down, I channeled the pain and loneliness into an opportunity for something new. I courageously made new friends and found genuine and supportive people that allowed me to be myself. I dove into hobbies I always loved: photography and cooking. I even turned my photography into a business.

I became grateful I was no longer with my old friends. I learned that friends who tear you down aren’t real friends. The loneliness I was terrified of wasn’t as scary as I thought. To my surprise, it opened unexpected doors. I also learned how resilient, brave, and strong I was through that experience and it made me a more confident woman.

DearLivvy...

Dear Livvy, I was asked by my boyfriend to send a nude. I feel pressured into sending it because he said that I would be a “prude” if I didn’t and that all our friends are doing it. –Pressured to Sext

Dear Pressured to Sext, Let’s be clear, you’re not a prude if you say no; in fact, you’re not alone. You may think all your peers are sexting, but did you know that only 15% of adolescents have ever sent a nude?1 This number has been steadily going down! Plus, standing up to someone else’s demands on the other side of the screen shows value and respect. You are not just a body. You are a whole and complete person with unique talents and gifts. You have a sense of humor and a personality. Nudes destroy that. A sexually explicit image of yourself treats your body like a disposable object and often, women who send nudes regret it.

Dear Livvy, A random guy contacted me through social media and started telling me how beautiful I am. I have no clue who he is. What do you think of this? What should I do? –Randomly Beautiful

Dear Randomly Beautiful, This is a red flag, and you should not respond. Just delete his message. It’s scary, but this could be an online predator trying to meet up with you in order to kidnap, assault or sell you into trafficking. Predators convince young girls and even guys that their beauty will land them a modeling job, only to find themselves victims of prostitution, pornography and slave labor. If he continues to contact you, tell your parents or a teacher. If he sends you a sexually explicit image, report him to the authorities.

Dear Livvy, It seems like all girls at school have a boyfriend besides me. I can’t help but feel a little jealous and well, to be honest, desperate. I can’t help it. I just really want a boyfriend! What should I do? –Really Want a Boyfriend

Dear Really Want a Boyfriend, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s a natural part of being a girl to want a guy to choose you. You are not alone. It’s an illusion that everyone has a boyfriend! As you wait, I have a couple of ideas. Concentrate on developing into the kind of woman you want to be. Spend time on the things you enjoy. Develop solid friendships. This is the best thing you can do in this time. Friendships are important to have at every stage of life! It can be easy to find someone and become infatuated to the point where your identity is wrapped up with them, causing breakups to leave you feeling like you’ve lost yourself. Have more questions for Livvy?

Write to her at j4gmagazine.com

Do you know the facts?

1. What percentage of sexually active young women have had a genital Human Papillomavirus (HPV)?1

a. 30%

b. 15%

c. 85%

d. 70%

2. True or False: The younger a person is when they start having sex, the greater the chance of getting an STI.2

3. True or False: You can get an STI if you have oral sex.3

4. ___ out of ___ teens who have had sex wish they had waited.4

a. 1 out of 4

b. 2 out of 3

c. 1 out of 3

d. 1 out of 2

5. At least 43 million people nationwide were infected with HPV in 2018.5 A disturbing fact is that more than ___% of cases of cervical cancer are linked to HPV.6

a. 30%

b. 63%

c. 91%

d. 99%

My boyfriend and I had been dating for over a year when I learned I was pregnant. We were both in college. We hadn’t talked about marriage, but I assumed we would always be together. John told his parents about the pregnancy. They said he was too young and should “just forget it happened.” John said he had been thinking about breaking up with me anyway.

I was absolutely devastated. I asked him if he could at least be there when our daughter was born, but he decided to travel to England to study and I was left alone.

I called John when my daughter was born, but he denied she was his and demanded a blood test. I never expected someone who said they loved me to leave me feeling so alone and abandoned.

Forever Might Not Be Forever —Lily

I Think I’m Pregnant...

You may have just found out you’re pregnant, or maybe you know someone who’s going through an unplanned pregnancy. Here are some steps you can take to help you or someone you know:

1. Know you’re not alone. You’re not going to be in this alone. There are people around you that would love to help you. Don’t push away offers to help, but if someone is being overbearing, let them know.

2. Take a breath, don’t panic. Panicking tends to take your mind to the worst possible outcomes to a situation. Take a breath, stay calm, and remember that you’re not going to be alone in this.

3. It’s okay to be emotional. You’re going to feel every emotion hit you at the same time, let it happen. Tell someone about it or write down what you’re feeling in a journal. Bottling up your emotions won’t get you anywhere and could lead to more stress and anxiety.

4. Get a support system together. You want to be sure that you have the best support system―one that is non-judgmental and will provide you with the help you need no matter what.

5. Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for some help. It can be financial or emotional. You can ask your support network for help planning a baby shower, getting baby supplies, or even setting up a GoFundMe to buy supplies in the future.

Body Image

Women have the unique capability of being able to think a multitude of thoughts at one time. This makes you both a great multi-tasker and over-thinker. Particularly in the area of self-image. Sometimes it can feel like you are your own worst enemy. Your mind goes through doubt after doubt about yourself in a matter of a minute. Do these jeans make me look fat? Why don’t I have her waist? If only I had her style! I wish I had her hair!

All the overthinking that happens in your mind is a vicious cycle of believing your worth is nothing until you’ve perfected yourself. You look for things to fix this—new clothes, the latest technology, or maybe putting time into a well filtered social media account. But you’ll still find those things will never fix insecurities. Becoming confident in your body starts with your mind.

You always have the opportunity to redefine how you think about yourself.

If you constantly believe you aren’t enough, your imperfections will drive all your thoughts, decisions, and mental energy. Struggling with body image is exhausting because it all happens in your mind! You are your own worst critic when it comes to your body and now is the time to start re-framing how you think about yourself.

Here are some tips:

• Appreciate what your body can do. Write positive thoughts down to serve as a reminder to you when you feel like you aren’t enough.

• What do you like about yourself that isn’t related to your weight or physical looks? You are more than a body.

• Pay attention to things that might make you more critical of your body. For example, are there certain magazines, TikTok or Instagram accounts that always leave you feeling bad about yourself? Unfollow them!

• Talk about it! You aren’t alone in the struggle. Opening up can offer support and encouragement.

Still, nagging or negative doubts and questions about yourself will come back from time to time. By choosing to re-frame how you think about yourself, you can throw those negative thoughts out as quickly as they come.

“Your body is part of who you are, but your body doesn’t define you. It was a life-changing moment for me when I recognized that. There’s so much more to me than how I look. It’s liberating to realize that what I see on Instagram doesn’t need to define who I am, what I should look like, or how I should act.

Deep down, we all know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect life. Defining yourself by who you are and what you do, rather than how you look, is a brave choice to defy the deception of perfection that society tells us to buy into. It can be scary at first, but the world needs to know that real, imperfect women exist, daring to break the rules, claiming our imperfections and being ourselves. We can write our own stories and think our own thoughts. We don’t have to follow the crowd. We can choose to surround ourselves with people who encourage and uplift us. We are bold enough to reject deceit and believe we ARE beautiful.”—Lauren

Women & Porn

Do you feel like you’re the only girl to ever look at porn? Did you know that 62.1% of women have seen porn before the age of 181, and 17% struggle with it?2 In the past, pornography and masturbation have been framed as male issues. This belief has left many women feeling isolated while fighting against porn. Perhaps you started watching it as a means of sex-ed. You find that porn feels thrilling to watch. But your brain is actually releasing massive amounts of natural chemicals like dopamine, the pleasure hormone.3 The rush disappears quickly and you are left desiring to get it back. So you watch porn again, and again...

Many would say porn isn’t dangerous, but truthfully there’s nothing normal or healthy about it. In fact, as porn consumption increases, the brain becomes desensitized to it. This means the hormone, dopamine, doesn’t “rush” like it used to. Did you know that addiction comes from dopamine desensitization?4 Not to mention the porn industry uses your body’s normal sexual desire and the rewiring of your brain to make money. Pornography is not the place to seek romantic or sexual advice. Rather, porn takes your normal sexual desire and twists it into something that leaves you feeling ashamed and alone. You deserve to feel relationally connected to people in your life and to have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Sex is about connection and love. Porn disconnects, destroys, and treats sex (and you) like disposable trash.

Whether or not you’ve seen it only a handful of times or are struggling with it, here’s why you should stop.

Porn sets unrealistic body standards

Porn views women as sexualized bodies, nothing more. Not to mention a body that is skinny, yet also curvy. Busty with a good butt, but also fit. The list goes on. What makes you beautiful and truly attractive is your intelligence, personality, and your natural body.

Porn normalizes violence against women

A team of researchers looked at 50 of the most popular porn films... Of the 304 scenes, 88% contained physical violence and 49%, verbal attacks.5 Porn openly hurts and abuses women. No one should ever treat you like that, especially in situations where you are completely vulnerable. Violence in porn dangerously allows men to hurt and abuse women. Degrading women isn’t sexy and it definitely isn’t love. When you love a guy, that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to do or say anything he wants. You deserve more.

Are you using porn to escape real life?

“I ran to porn whenever I was lonely, yet it only breeds loneliness. It also became a crutch if I ever was bored, disappointed, or angry at myself.”

If you are struggling in real life, seek real help with health professionals. Talk to your parents or friends. You might be surprised that they want to help you and be with you in whatever difficulty you are going through.

Need help? Visit: www.joinfortify.com or www.fightthenewdrug.org

“I felt trapped and alone... People don’t see what it does in the heart and mind of those that it affects. They don’t see what it does inside the homes and relationships of those that it holds captive. They don’t see the lives that it ruins.”

Dating Do’s & Don’ts

▶ Stay with the group

If you don’t know the person well, it’s better to date in a group setting or to go on a double date with a couple you know. Be aware of the dangers of human trafficking.

▶ Stand your ground

Don’t tolerate a guy who violates your personal boundaries. If he doesn’t respond when you tell him to stop, leave the situation.

▶ Watch your beverage

Don’t accept beverages from people you don’t know and don’t drink out of anything you’ve left unattended. “Date rape drugs” can be slipped into your drink when you’re not paying attention.

▶ Trust your instincts

If you sense something isn’t right, end the date or get out of the situation.

saving sex

“As a teen, I played the third wheel because my sister had many boyfriends and I didn’t. I became depressed and wondered why guys didn’t like me.

When I finally got a boyfriend, it became an abusive relationship. After years I ended it, but even with that freedom I still didn’t know who I was and ended up with more exes. Then I met Ethan. Even though our values didn’t match I thought Ethan was ‘the one.’

I wanted to remain a virgin before marriage, but the only thing I remembered from sex-ed was, ‘don’t have sex.’ I took that to mean anything but sex was fine. We kept getting physically closer until that one night we finally went all the way. I jumped out of bed and curled up in the corner and sobbed. I couldn’t take it back, ever. I felt like avoiding sex no longer mattered so we kept sleeping together (in secret).

I felt like I was leading a double life. I kept ignoring the nagging problem of our mismatched values. He was perfect for me except one thing he didn’t understand my value of saving sex for marriage. Breaking up with Ethan was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it changed my life and made me the person I am today.

I vowed not to date again until I was 100% sure whom I would marry and that he would respect my sexual integrity. While I was single, I found a group of friends who shared my values. An honorable guy in the group, Michael, later became my beloved husband. I was his first girlfriend; his first kiss! He understood that waiting was important so we waited to have sex until our wedding night. Now I am content with the real man that showed me I was worth waiting for.”

—Kayla

The conversation about waiting to have sex feels outdated and meaningless. Who has enough willpower these days to actually hold themselves to that goal? It’s proven that couples that wait have higher satisfaction, contentment, and better sex. On the other hand, relationships that move rapidly into sex are often filled with distress.

There are countless other ways to show someone that you love them. Waiting to have sex until you’re committed, like getting married, is a beautiful expression of real love. You’re willing to use self-control, patience, and put real love into practice for another person. Not to mention, waiting to have sex is the number one way to find someone that truly loves you for all the right reasons.

Despite the choices you’ve made in the past, you can start over at any time. It’s up to you; what will you choose?

Want more? Visit j4gmagazine.com for additional dating do’s and don’ts, helpful information on STIs and hormonal contraception, or to share an article with a friend.

Why save sex for marriage?

What a deep and intricate question. One that has caused major changes in the way our world views sex. It feels good right? Why not enjoy it? I had to answer this question for myself when I began seriously pursuing a relationship. Why should I wait? If I truly love someone and I am attracted to them, isn’t it in our nature to desire sex, especially at our age? I found my answer to this question several years ago, while sitting in my room reflecting on my beliefs. I decided someday I want to get married, I want to love someone completely. In order to do this, what must I do? Well I think that means I need to save sex for marriage. If I don’t wait, what happens? Well, I demonstrate my complete lack of selfcontrol, and a selfish desire to feel good. Frankly, it makes me look like a pathetic man who follows sudden whims and cravings. To me, it just seems…well, it seems rather easy to have sex before marriage.

If I’m going to take the easy path in a relationship, how can I look her in the eye and tell her I truly love her? If I’m not willing to make this sacrifice for her, it isn’t love. It’s selfish. So I found my answer. I will save sex for marriage because it shows that I actually do love this woman not only her, but myself as well.

Many people have given me grief for this decision. My classmates do not seem to agree with my line of thinking, which has made things more difficult. But no one said love would be easy, so I take this difficulty as a direct challenge, and one that I can overcome.

So what about you? Will you take this challenge with me? Now is the time to prove your manhood to the woman you claim to love. Do you love her? Will you wait for her? Or do you want to give in to your weakness? I chose the difficult path, and I believe it will lead me to happiness.

What will you choose?

“Sex was the dominating force in our relationship. It wasn’t communication or love that held us together; it was sex. I now understand this is not how relationships were designed to progress.”

—Connor

—Adam

The Inside Scoop On Girls

Have you ever said to yourself, "I never know what they want? I even think they don't even know what they want. One minute they're fine...the next minute they're crazy!" Before you decide to give up, there is a logical answer. Take a look at these two hormone charts. Female hormones are changing— sometimes almost daily, depending on their cycle. Males, on the other hand, are hormonally level. This isn't an excuse for girls to be mean, but it might help you understand a little better why your mother, sister, girlfriend, or classmates seem to have twenty different moods in just one hour.

The next time you’re trying to figure out what she wants, remember she isn’t on the same “wavelength” as you— literally—so give her a little space. You’ll be glad you did.

“In men, the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) acts on the Sertoli cells of the testes to stimulate sperm production (spermatogenesis).”

“In women, FSH stimulates the growth of ovarian follicles in the ovary before the release of an egg at ovulation. It also signals the body to increase oestradiol production.”2

What Does Dating in the 2020s Look Like?

or maybe she slides into your DMs.

Kim, T. K., Lee, S. G., and Park, E.-C. (2015) Sexually Transmitted Infections and First Sexual Intercourse Age in Adolescents: The Nationwide Retrospective Cross-Sectional Study. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 12:2313-2323 | 4 Kastbom, A., Sydsjo, G., Bladh, M., Svedin, C., (2015, May 4). Sexual debut before the age of 14 leads to poorer psychosocial health and risky behavior in later life. Acta Paediatrica 104:91-100 | 5 National Center for Health Statistics. (2015, Nov) Key statistics from the National Survey of Family Growth– T Listing. National Survey of Family Growth. National Health Statistics Reports 20112015. Retrieved on February 16, 2018 at http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/t.htm#teenagers Abma JC, Martinez GM. Sexual activity and contraceptive use among teenagers in the United States, 2011–2015. National health statistics reports; no 104. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2017 | 6 Barna Group. (2015). Teens Speak Out survey. Ventura: Author. Albert, B. (2012). With One Voice 2012. Washington, DC: the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Retrieved March 18, 2015 at https://thenationalcampaign.org/sites/default/ files/resource-primary-download/wov_2012.pdf This older survey shows that among younger teens, the regret is even more pronounced. | 7 CDC (2021) Sexually Transmitted Infections Prevalence, Incidence, and Cost Estimates in the United States. Accessed at https://www.cdc.gov/std/ statistics/prevalence-2020-at-a-glance.htm National Overview - Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2019. (2021, April 13). National Overview - Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2019. https://www.cdc.gov/std/statistics/2019/overview.htm | 8 5U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2010) National Survey of Adolescents and Their Parents: Attitudes and Opinions About Sex and Abstinence. Washington, D. C. : HHS. Accessed August 29, 2011 at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/content/docs/20090226_abstinence.pdf)

Did you know?

Teens having sex are statistically more likely...

• To experience pregnancy1

• To live in poverty and have less financial net worth2

• To contract sexually transmitted infections3

• To experience sexual abuse and victimization4

Among 15-17-year-olds, 69% of boys and 72% of girls have never had sex.5

50% of 18-19-year-olds wish they had waited longer to have sex.6

Young adults contract about 10 million new STIs each year, costing about $4.16 billion in direct medical costs.7

Most teens support reserving sex until marriage, both in general and for themselves.8

Five Steps to Help Her...

Of course, sex can cause pregnancy―your biology textbook tells you that. But have you ever thought about how you can support a friend/girlfriend/family member when they’re faced with an unplanned pregnancy? Here are five steps you can take:

1. Be there for her. When she finds out she’s pregnant, she’s going to feel like life is changing too fast. This will cause a lot of anxiety. Let her know that you’re there to listen and that she’s not alone.

2. Be Positive. The last thing she needs is for you to respond with alarm when she’s already scared― be calm and reassuring.

3. Help Her. Ask what she needs. Is it help finding a doctor, picking up her latest pregnancy cravings or getting supplies? Don’t be overbearing though―she’s already stressed.

4. Provide Rest and Relaxation. This might be the most stressful period of her life. Support and encourage her. Tell her she still deserves a little pampering. Treat her to a meal, have a movie night at home, or indulge her with a spa day.

5. Create a Support Network. Have friends and family join in to help her on her journey to motherhood. Throw a baby shower, set up meal trains to help feed her, raise gas money or offer to drive her to appointments, start a GoFundMe page or fundraise to help pay for baby supplies. Start to think about this today. Make a plan, at least in your head. Your friend will need you.

ARE YOU A CONSUMER?

When was the last time you consumed porn on your phone, laptop, or tablet? Do you find you can’t keep those images out of your mind? By 11 years old, 51%1 of boys have seen porn and by 17 years old, 79%2 of young men have.

Pornography affects 93.2%3 of men. While some casually view porn, many actually experience a real addiction to it. Society and pop culture perpetuate the belief that all men watch porn by making jokes and crude comments about it. To be a man, a good sexual partner and to satisfy your needs, porn is treated as normal and good—it’s even expected that you view it.

So, if everyone watches it, why

should you stop?

Our culture presents a dangerous illusion. There’s nothing healthy or normal about pornography. In fact, porn is like a drug. It’s a powerful addiction that affects your mind and body. When you view porn, or even recall the images, your brain triggers the release of massive amounts of natural chemicals, like dopamine.4 The rush feels amazing and you want the thrill back. You want the “high” and start consuming more porn and pushing the limits on what you view.

Did you know repeated consumption of porn will rewire your brain? Studies show it can actually make your brain smaller.5 You’ll start to notice your brain is less active and struggles to focus on anything but pornographic images. If you keep consuming, you’ll start to feel disconnected from other humans. Eventually you could find yourself struggling to have sex. Yep— pornography-induced erectile dysfunction is real.6 “Porn is such a ferocious competitor that hardly any other activity can compete with it, including actual sex with a real partner. That’s right; porn can actually overpower the brain’s natural ability to have real sex!” 7

The porn industry doesn’t talk about that. One thing’s for certain, you are not alone in your addiction. It is possible to break the habit and there are countless people and resources to help you.

Visit www.fightthenewdrug.org or joinfortify.com to find resources to help you!

“For 10 years of my compulsion, I didn’t pursue my dreams. I didn’t discover my hobbies. For 10 years I played video games, watched TV, and watched porn. That was pretty much my life. Yes, I went out with friends and did social things, but when no one was around, that’s all I did. Now that porn is out of my life, I can pursue my dreams again. I can’t begin to describe how much I want the last decade back. The relationships I could have had and the growth I could have experienced. Porn prohibited me from having any real relationships. By taking up hundreds and hundreds of hours of my life, porn stunted me from growing as a person.” —Brian

BreakingtheHabit

Fighting against an addiction to porn can be mentally exhausting. You might feel as though you are all alone, and then even when you are porn free, the images you viewed in the past can re-surface in your brain. It’s possible to create positive habits that will eventually rid you of the epidemic that plagues so many individuals with guilt and shame. Simple adjustments in your everyday routine will help you steer clear of pornography and keep it out of your life.

• Avoid problem websites and browsing when you are tired.

• Are there certain social media accounts that always end with you watching porn?

• Block certain sites in your browser. You could also use a text only browser for a while.

• Don’t keep your smart phone next to your bed. If you need it for an alarm clock, get an actual alarm clock or switch your phone onto airplane mode.

• Did you just suffer a bad break-up? If so, only browse during the day.

Try doing something else to overcome watching porn. Start working out to use up excess energy and fall asleep more quickly at night. One thing proven to be the most helpful, is talking about it with someone else and setting up some sort of accountability system. You’re much less likely to view porn if you have someone to help and keep you accountable. This should be someone you trust and report to on a frequent basis. It may seem like a scary thing to do; however, just the knowledge that your web activity can be seen by someone else will most likely keep you out of the darkest areas of the internet.

You Could be Watching Porn of Sex Trafficked Men & Women

Traffickers and sex buyers get ideas from porn, and then make their victims watch it as a way of showing what they’ll be expected to do. The violent fantasy concocted by some porn directors and his or her actors becomes the reality for trafficking victims.

The Risk Factor Connection

Along with poverty and substance abuse, a child growing up in a home where porn is regularly consumed is far more likely to be trafficked at some point in his or her life.3

for Youth.” CyberPsychology & Behavior,

Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

Do you want to have great sex one day? Porn could destroy your capability of that.1

Porn Could Ruin Your Chances of the Life You Want

Watching a lot of porn leaves little room to excel in other areas like relationships, hobbies, or your future career.2

Find more resources at j4gmagazine.com

“Every person, no matter how well rooted they are in their values, gets tempted at one point or another— this is my story.

I went through high school without dating anyone, had strong morals and an innocent mind for the most part. I knew that sex should wait for marriage. These values were infused in me from my family. I dated my first girlfriend during my sophomore year of college and things started with hand holding and hugging.

When we became ‘official,’ we made-out quite a bit and my desire to be more physical took over. For me, lust was like a devouring beast that never satisfied. It’s a difficult thirst to quench. As we focused on each other’s bodies, we crossed the line numerous times. Then I learned about her past with an ex-boyfriend and that she had done some things she regretted. I forgave her, but all the same, I struggled and hated picturing her with another guy. It plagued my thoughts and I began to think, ‘If she was willing to do those things with another guy, would she do them with me?’ I became curious and began looking up sexual things and how to push her further in our physical relationship. It was wrong and I knew it. But my body was taking over my mind. Several months passed and it became the only reason why I’d see her. When I was with her, all I thought about was, ‘How can I get what I want from her?’ It was a horrible and poisoned mindset, at one point I realized that I wanted out.

The Success Sequence

According to the Brookings Institute, if you complete the following objectives, you’ll only have a 3% chance of living in poverty as an adult:1

Earn at least a high school diploma

Maintain a full-time job

Wait until you’re at least 21 to have children

97% chance of NOT living in poverty as an adult!

Eventually, after much soul-searching and guidance from family and friends, we ended our relationship. I apologized for how I hurt and mistreated her. I was humbled when she forgave me. It takes two, but I should have led with pure actions and real love. This leadership role is one I decided to strive for ever since. I took time to renew myself and learn how to live a pure lifestyle. Now, two years later, I have learned how to treat a woman’s heart. It’s through pure motives and selfless actions that the best and greatest of relationships can thrive.”

So now you’ve read some important—if not life altering—information about relationships. Are you willing to seek success for your future?

Each man is different. Each of us grows at our own pace and finds real love at different times. Perhaps today you’ve realized pornography is destroying your life. Maybe you see how it will influence your future and want to stop consuming now. You can, but you’ll need help.

Knowing the facts, recognizing relationship pitfalls, and seeking help from someone you trust are the first steps in accomplishing your relationship and life goals.

It’s time to rise to the challenge, make good choices, and create a great life for yourself.