July 2011 Issue by In Fashion

The Magazine For The Discerning Jewish Household

Jamie Geller

July 2011

Tori T Wig ips: Q&A with Rivi

Cooking Inspired

Ask The Professional Organizer

Beila Feig

EMUNAH WITH RABBI LAZER BRODY

SHARON’S STYLE FILE

Frum Fashionista

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Beauty

Ask the Pro [10] *NEW COLUMN Wig Q&A from Rivi Beauty Secrets [14] Oils have come back as the best form of Skin & Hair care

Published by:

YSO Publications II Editor:

Oved M. Lib Design & Layout:

Josh Speigel

Culinary

Healthy & Light [16] Soup Up your Summer *NEW COLUMN Quick & Kosher [18] Cooking Inspired with Jamie Geller G-d’s Candy [24] Secrets of Selecting the best Fruits

Fashion

*NEW COLUMN

Sales and Marketing:

Jonathan Lib Distribution:

OB Distribution Please submit all questions and comments to:

Sales@InFashionFT.com

MIRI [26] Fashion-Isha [28] Sharon’s Style File Style & Trends [32] Summer Fashion

For Advertising information please call

Home & You

In Fashion is published monthly and is distributed at over 500 locations throughout the Jewish communities of Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan and Long Island.

Lifestyles [34] Ask the Professional Lasting Memories [36] More Memorable Summer Pictures House Hunting [38] Apply Before You Buy

*NEW COLUMN

Parenting

Childhood [40] Good Clean... Dirt! Parenting Techniques [44] The Stubborn Child

Inspiration

Journeys [50] Mystery in the Garden Avodat Hashem [56] Why Don’t You Sin? *NEW COLUMN Emuna [60] Who Needs Moshiach? Spotlight [64] Sahindel Antelis

718-676-1186

In Fashion is not responsible for typographical errors. The publisher and In Fashion do not promote or endorse any products or advertisers in this magazine. No editorial or art content may be reproduced without prior written consent from the publisher. All rights reserved. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any editorial or advertising content that does not fit our journalistic and advertising policy. Please treat this publication with respect. It contains Torah ideas and content. Please double wrap if discarding. All rights reserved ©2011 YSO Publications II.

Message from the Editor

OUR PERSPECTIVE

hanks to your feedback, we’ve been up many nights burning the midnight oil… I hope you notice all the improvements and changes throughout the magazine. Before I get into that, I would like to offer my sincere apology for the picture that appeared on page “(intentionally left blank)” of the June 2011 issue. I was completely mortified when it was brought to my attention. It slipped in before the deadline and went undetected. We’ve put systems in place to prevent future snafus. Again, please accept my sincere apologies. Now for the good stuff… We’ve added tons of original and fresh content. This issue brings with it 5 new columns: - Cooking Inspired with Jamie Geller author of Quick & Kosher -Tori Tips- Wigs Smarts- Q & A by Rivi of Tori Wigs -Sharon’s Style Files- Fashion-Isha- Fashion for the modern frum Fashionista -Ask the Professional Organizer – By Bella Feig -Inspiration by Rabbi Lazer Brody, author of Garden of Emunah

Let us know what you’d like to see more of and what you’d like to see less of. As always we welcome any feedback- rants, raves, compliments, complaints, suggestions and general comments. Please email correspondence to editor@infashionm.com Happy reading [IF]

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[ TORI TIPS ] By: Rivi Edelman

t last! All your wig questions (and some you never knew you had!) answered by Rivi, of Tori Wigs. Please send all questions to: editor@infashionm. com Dear Rivi,

I love the wig you sold me, but I have an old wig that I bought elsewhere, that is driving me nuts. It constantly knots. Why is my wig knotting? I thought I was getting the best quality possible! I spent so much on it and can’t wear it. Is there anything I can do about it?? - Ripping my hair out in Jersey Dear Ripping, Stop ripping your hair out! That is NOT going to help your knotting issues. Don’t despair of your old wig; knotting can happen to any wig. I can tell you what those of us in the industry do to avoid and/or fix this problem. There are many reasons a wig can knot. Believe it or not, the “better quality” wigs are most prone to this, as they are cuticle correct and act like real hair. Because they have the most “bounce”, they can also have the most “attitude,” as they act exacty like hair of the texture you purchased is supposed to act. I’m glad the wig you bought by us isn’t giving you any trouble, and I’d like to help you resuscitate the old one that you’re not getting any use out of. First I’ll address reasons for knotting and then what to do about it: 1) Length of the wig - When a wig is really long and is not washed every day like hair is, it can knot, just like hair would. Imagine if you grew your hair past your shoulders and then didn’t wash it for 6 weeks; Disgusting! 2) Curly hair, by nature grows more “hap10

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hazardly” than straight hair. Since the mantra of all curly girls is “NEVER BRUSH CURLY HAIR”, it can definitely knot in a few days of no washing, coat collars pushing it up, and no brushing. Don’t despair, though. . . I’ll address what to do at the end of this column. 3) Using Pantene or any kind of shampoo with “keratin” or “keratase” or any kind of protein in it; adding ANY product to the wig, even Biosilk or hair spray and especially gells and mousses. Hair gets washed every day - wigs only once a month. So, the conditioning “glop” in all these expensive shampoos collects oil and dirt and dulls the hair and eventually creates knotting. The same is true of the environment. if you are in a humid environment, or in a smokey or smelly place or a dry place like an airport, any good quality hair with”life” in it, will react by ‘swelling” a bit and may need to be rewashed before it knots. 4) A wig that is too thin, believe it or KNOT (could’nt help it, sorry). The less hair a wig has, the more the “sweat” will be apparent. Add hair, and the oils from your neck and scalp will have more to distribute to. 5) Hairs sewn in wrong. 6) Some shorter hairs within the longer ones. 7) A coat that pushes up the hair in the back. 8) Some people have a sloping shoulder that “pushes” up the hair in the back. AND NOW FOR THE SOLUTION! (drumroll please. . .) : 1) Make sure you or your stylist will wash F a s h i o n

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your wig from now on with a very “clean” shampoo so no extra “product” glops up the cuticle. This is good for hair, which you (hopefully) wash every day, but bad for wigs because it’s gross. I like Suave; if you already used Pantene, wash three times with Suave Clarifying Shampoo and only use a small amount of conditioner, Suave too. THROW OUT your Biolage, Pantene, Matrix, Etc. BAD BAD BAD for wigs (good for your stylist cuz you’ll need more wash and sets, though). If all else fails, wash your wig with Palmolive dishwashing liquid. This is an extreme solution, but truly works when all else fails. Just be sure to use a good conditioner afterwards (we like Keratase) because it can have an extreme drying effect on the hair. Though it will get rid of knotting, it can make the hair more prone to breakage. 2) Even if your wig is curly, always straight iron the hair that is attached to the nape of the neck of the wig (this is the curved part of the net that hugs your neck when you wear it). It won’t show from the outside, but will stay knot free this way. 3) Every day when you take off your wig, starting one inch off the bottom of the wig, brush your wig using a wide nylon brush with soft ends (throw out any brushes that are sharp at the ends or broken and never

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brush a wig with sharp brushes when wet). Brush the wig progressively from the bottom in one inch increments, going higher and higher. Never start at the top; this can break the hair. 4) Run some Garnier Fructis sleekener through the nape of the neck; not too much as this can make it worse. 5) If the knotting is a true knotting issue, there will knotting throughout the wig, not just underneath. If it is only underneath, it is because the wig is made of good hair and is collecting sweat and oils from your skin. 6) If it is a “true” knotting issue, and is happening throughout the ENTIRE WIG, or if it is a short wig and is knotting, take it in to your wig salon to be checked. Sometimes, a previous stylist did not wash it correctly and left too much

product in. Sometimes, some hairs need to be replaced because they are too short or were sewn in wrong. Sometimes, simply adding a few wefts of hair (2 to 4 should suffice) will get rid of the problem completely. 7) Be careful brushing your wig. Use a nylon brush (I like the 99 cent store ones) because the ends are those “balls” that are gentle and don’t cause damage. 8) If all else fails, do a “vinegar wash”. This sounds smelly, but trust me, the smell disipates in seconds and its amazing. It will make your wig as shiny and bouncy as new. Put 1/3 white vinegar in a pan, 2/3 water. Drag your already washed wig through this solution. Wash one more time with clarifying shampoo and then condition with a gentle conditioner and rinse well. 9) If a knot free wig is more important to you than anything at all costs, buy a really cheap, cuticle stripped wig. Unfortunately, the better quality wigs can knot because they are natural hair with the cuticle intact (like your own). The super processed wigs can NOT knot because the cuticle has been removed. While they don’t have “bounce” or “life” to them and are stick straight, even when air dryed, for some styles they can be quite practical! (no, we don’t carry them at Tori, sorry, but we do have some wigs that are straighter than others and some that are thicker than others. The straighter a wig is, and sometimes the thicker a wig is, the less the potential for knotting.) This should not scare you off of curly wigs, but if you do buy a curly wig, please learn how to handle it first :) Dear Rivi, I have a two part question for you: 1) Why do wigs turn red when they oxidize? 2) Since I started dying mine it seems it needs a new dye every six months!

Chicago

- Tired of Maintenance in

Dear Tired, Wigs will “oxidize”, or turn lighter because of exposure to the sun, which acts as a bleaching agent on wigs just as it would on natural hair. If the base color of your wig has a reddish undertone, it will turn reddish over time. If the base color was more “ashy”, your wig will turn a lighter brown, almost grayish color. Anyone who paints can tell you that this spectrum of warm colors to ashy cannot be avoided by going darker; the wig must be purchased with the right “undertone” initially. Most people who come into my store are so annoyed with the red that they want true ash. However, in most cases this is not flattering. If you have any olive in your skin tone at all, you want to avoid true ash. If you are not sure, try on the wig outdoors in natural sunlight before purchasing; the sun will show you the true “undertone” of the wig. If you feel you “just need to apply more makeup and then the wig will be fine”, it’s probably the wrong color. A good color should “brighten” your complexion, not dull it. Don’t make the mistake of going “too ashy” or “too warm” to compensate for oxidation. Every wig will lighten with time, but you need to look good NOW, not in a year. If you are dyeing your wigs very often, this can mean that the wig has reached the end of its lifespan. After a while, the cuticle will not hold additional color well. In addition, make sure that your colorist is using the right “undertone” when dying your wig. If you are a warm color, there should be a “g” next to the number dye. If you are ashy, there should be an “a”. If you are in between, there should be the letter “n”. Please address all inquiries to: editor@ infashionm.com. Not all questions can be answered, but I’ll try my best!

curiousi tori ? www.toriwigs.com

quality carpet

NOVEMBER 2010

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[ Transform Your Skin and Hair with Oil ] By: Sylvia Hamowy flower and sesame oil. Look for one that comes in a spray. It’s just a bit quicker to use. I always feel that it goes on a little bit lighter. You will love it.

ust when you thought staying away from oil was a good thing, the trend has changed again. Oil is excellent for your skin, for your hair and for your body! We spend so much money on so many different products and many of them are filled with chemicals that may or may not be benefitting us. Oil is the real deal. It’s where it all started. Years ago, oil was the main ingredient in skin and hair care products. Although we’ve been told that it can clog our pores, it’s actually the opposite. The most important thing is to select the right oil for each body part – your hair, your face or your body. You also need to use it in the proper way. Now here’s how: YOUR FACE: Oil for the face is a really scary idea. Oil works by actually binding to the impurities on your skin and goes into your pores. It also sticks to your makeup and lifts it off. There is a method to make sure you are really using it effectively. For example, with 14

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an oil-based cleanser, apply to dry skin. Massage it around and THEN you add water. Some oil based products can be used on acne prone skin as well. Sunflower and flaxseed are wonderful oils that will balance sebum and are antiinflammatory. After all, acne is just inflammation from a clogged pore, so these two oils are fabulous for someone with break-outs. If your skin is sensitive, oil can be very soothing. DRY SKIN: Did you ever notice that your dry skin doesn’t seem to improve? You keep on applying moisturizer and don’t feel like you are getting anywhere. Oil based products are full of nutrients that absorb fully for long term results. When it comes to dry dull skin, jojoba oil is great. So is argan oil. For best results mist the oil under your makeup. This applies just the right amount. BODY OIL: Oil for the body is frequently referred to as DRY oil. It has less water so it is actually a pure form of oil. The best body oils are argan, safF a s h i o n

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HAIR: And then there’s our hair. Won’t oil make it a greasy mess? Not with lighter and more refined oils - they actually penetrate and they rinse out so there’s nothing left on the hair that makes it greasy. Camellia oil is the fastest absorbing oil and goes into the hair cuticle. You are getting the product inside the hair cuticle instead of wrapping it all around and making it heavy. Your blow dry will last three days longer which is what we all want, right? The flower on the musk rose tree never loses its color; even when it dies. When we put it in a hair color product like a shampoo or conditioner it keeps its vibrancy. It doesn’t allow your color to fade. Another favorite is jasmine oil. It is a great scalp rejuvenator. It benefits unruly or coarse gray hair as well. Moroccan oil is also an excellent product. It contains argan oil, a newcomer to the market and extremely effective. It can be used for most hair types. Another oldie but goodie that can be found in so many products for hair and skin, is olive oil. It’s a wonderful oil to use on dry, damaged, thick, and curly hair. No matter what oil you use, remember to use it sparingly. Be sure to rinse out an oil-based shampoo or conditioner properly or your hair will become dull. The original method of skin and hair care is back. Not only have we returned to essential oil based skin and hair care; we have refined it to a whole new level. [IF] -----------------------------------------------

Sylvia Hamowy is the owner of Reflections Cosmetics. She is a professional makeup artist, beauty editor, and former radio show host. She is featured in the International Who’s Who of Entrepreneurs. For more information, check out: www.reflectionscosmetics.com.

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[ Soup Up Your Summer! ] By Dr. Shmuel Shields

wholesome soup can boost the nutritional value of any meal. Due to their liquid state, soups are easily digested and absorbed. A nutritious soup made from beans, lentils, or peas provides you with valuable fiber, protein, and carbohydrates. Vegetable and fruit soups are rich in essential nutrients as well.

The current trend in nutrition is to recommend eating frequent small, light meals, spaced evenly throughout the day. This contributes to more stable blood sugar levels and increased energy. Lighter soups are excellent appetizers, whereas heartier soups work well as a main dish when served with whole grain bread and a salad.

In the summer, a chilled fruit soup is a tasty and nutritious option. One of my favorite recipes includes peaches, plums, pears, cherries, and apricots. These are all low on the glycemic index, which means that the fructose (fruit sugar) they contain is released into the bloodstream slowly, due to their high fiber content. Another healthy chilled soup ideal for summer is borscht. With beets as its primary ingredient, borscht has antioxidant properties and even helps to purify the blood. For a wholesome vegetable soup any time of the year, include these ingredients: carrots, tomatoes, onions, celery, eggplant, zucchini, string beans, and garlic. Other healthy options to incorporate into your diet are pea soup, onion soup, cabbage soup, bean soup, lentil soup, and potato soup. As far as restaurant and canned soups, keep in mind that these tend to be excessively high in salt content, so it is best to choose low sodium versions. During the summer, when it is most important to stay well hydrated, clear broth is a good choice as well. So whatever your vacation plans are, soup up your summer…and enjoy! [IF] -----------------------------------------------

Chilled Tropical Pineapple Fruit & Heirloom Tomato Gazpacho & Vegetable Soup 16

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. . . g n i c nI troideu Geller Jam [ Summer BBQ’s ] By: Jamie Geller

verything, but the grill for me. I am sure many moms are just as adept on a grill as the dads (well moms other than myself; women like my friend Anita who do everything in their houses, including taking out the trash!), but cooking al fresco seems to be the purview of the male species. Perhaps it’s all the fire—very macho. When hubby’s home I’m not even allowed anywhere near the “Q.” However, I am in charge of everything else. With all that kosher meat on the grill you need some green stuff and starches to round out your meals. Not only are the veggies good for you, but adding a variety of parve sides extends your food dollar and makes your event just a tad friendlier for the less carnivorous among us. Now, you can certainly buy great kosher salads and kosher prepared side dishes, but if you want to make your own, here are a few to try, Quick & Kosher style. Oh, and don’t forget dessert, I never do. Try my Tea Biscuit and Sorbet Tower for an easy treat that everyone will love. And don’t worry; Sharon’s coconut sorbet really is parve. I learned that while I was recipe testing for my first book, Quick & Kosher - Recipes from The Bride Who Knew 18

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Nothing. I was cooking up a storm, trying new ideas, and developing recipes. By the end of a day, I would have six or seven chicken dishes prepared, far more than hubby and I could eat by ourselves. So I started handing out chicken and salads and desserts to my entire neighborhood – and it was great because I got tons of feedback. Now the scary part: One Erev Shabbos, I gave my Tea Biscuit and Sorbet Tower, made with Sharon’s Coconut Sorbet, to a neighbor. Of course, I kept some for us too. At dessert time, I tasted it and went nuts. It was so good and so creamy that I was sure that the sorbet must have been dairy. I started freaking out, thinking that I had fed my neighbors a dairy dessert after a meat meal! I ran to the garbage to check the containers, but they were no longer there. So I ran over to my neighbors’ house to warn them, stop them, hoping they weren’t eating dessert yet. But I was too late – and with tears in my eyes, I explained that I had assumed that the sorbet must be pareve, but clearly, it must be dairy because… because… I mean, just taste it…. My neighbor calmed me down instantly. “Don’t worry,” she said, laughing, “Sharon’s Sorbet is always pareve.” Phew, that was a close one. Enjoy these parve recipe ideas for your Summer “Q”. 7 1 8 - 6 7 6 - 1 1 8 6

Potato Salad with Arugula and Tomato Times • • •

Prep time: 15 mins Cook time: 15 mins Ready time: 30 min

Servings 6

Ingredients • 1 1/2 lbs. small red potatoes, scrubbed and halved • 4 tablespoons champagne vinegar or white wine vinegar • 4 tablespoons olive oil • 1 lemon, juiced • 2 teaspoons kosher salt • Freshly ground black pepper • 4 green onions, chopped • 2 pints cherry tomatoes • 1 cup arugula

Directions/ Preparation

In a medium saucepan, cover potatoes with cold water and bring to a boil. Cook over medium high heat until potatoes are tender, 12 to 16 minutes. Drain well and cool completely. While potatoes are cooking prepare dressing. In a small bowl, whisk together vinegar, oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper and set aside. In a large bowl, combine potatoes with green onions, tomatoes and arugula and toss to combine. Pour dressing over potato salad and toss to evenly coat. Potato salad can be served room temperature or chilled. Can be made 2 days in advance, keeping arugula and dressing separate and combining just before serving.

Crunchy Tofu Thai Salad

For a warm salad, place tofu and dressing in a sealable plastic bag or container with a tight lid. Marinate for a minimum of 4 hours, then drain, reserving dressing. Sauté tofu in 2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil until warm and slightly crisp. Toss with greens and reserved dressing just before serving.

Times • •

Servings Prep time: 9 min Ready time: 9 min

6 - 8 servings

Ingredients • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

1 (8-ounce) package mixed field greens 1/2 cup chow mein noodles 1/2 cup slivered almonds 1 (14-ounce) package extra firm tofu, cut into bitesize pieces For dressing: 3/4 teaspoon hot pepper sesame oil 2 tablespoons plain sesame oil 1/2 cup peanut butter 1/4 cup soy sauce 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar 3 tablespoons rice vinegar 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1-1/2 teaspoon prepared minced garlic 1 teaspoon ground ginger (or 2 teaspoons fresh grated ginger) 1/2 teaspoon salt

(Continued on page 22)

Directions/ Preparation 1. Place the field greens, noodles and almonds in a large salad

bowl. Set aside. 2. Place all dressing ingredients in a mini food proces sor or blender. Process until smooth. Pour into a medium bowl. 3. Add tofu to dressing and toss well to coat. 4. Spoon tofu and dressing over greens. Toss and serve.

Times • •

Prep time: 5 minutes Cook time: 25 minutes

Servings 4

Ingredients • • • • • • • •

1 pound green beans, trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 large onion, diced 1 (15-ounce) can black eyed peas, drained and rinsed 1 teaspoon Tabasco or hot sauce 1/2 teaspoon Kosher salt 1/4 Teaspoon chili powder 1/4 Teaspoon garlic powder

Black Eyed Peas and Green Beans Directions/ Preparation 1. In a large sauté pan, cook green beans in olive oil over medium high heat for 5 to 8 minutes. Add onion and cook 8 to 10 minutes more or until onion is translucent and beans are tender. 2. Add black eyed peas, hot sauce, salt, chili powder and garlic powder and stir to combine. Heat 2 to 4 minutes and serve immediately.

Tea Biscuit and Sorbet Tower This recipe came via my Aunt Judi, via my cousin Adina, via her neighbor Tamar. Delicious in the summer or year-round, it's perfect as a dessert after a heavy feast or as a finisher to the meal leading into the Yom Kippur fast.

Times • •

Servings

Prep time: 8 min Ready time: 8 min

Ingredients

• 2 (4.2-ounce) packages of tea biscuits • 3 pints sorbet in 3 different colors (such as raspberry, mango and coconut), softened • Strawberry sauce (optional)

Directions/ Preparation

1. Place layer of tea biscuits in bottom of an 8-inch square baking pan. Spread 1 pint of sorbet over biscuits, to cover completely. 2. Alternate layers of biscuits and sorbet, ending with sorbet. 3. Freeze for at least 4 hours or overnight. 4. Drizzle with berry sauce over top or around the tower on the plate before serving, if desired. 22

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Colorful Garden Salad with Creamy Pesto Dressing An exquisite, colorful garden salad with creamy pesto dressing. Don't forget to display it proudly in a clear, glass bowl.

Times • •

Prep time: 12 min Ready time: 12 min

Servings 10

Ingredients • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

2 romaine hearts, shredded about 1/4-inch thick 1/2 yellow or orange bell pepper, seeded, veins removed, diced 1/2 red or green bell pepper, seeded, veins re moved, diced 1/2 cup packaged shredded red cabbage 1/2 cup packaged shredded carrots 15 cherry or grape tomatoes, halved 1/2 cup canned white shoepeg corn or sweet yellow corn niblets, drained 1/2 cup canned Chinese baby corn, drained 1/2 cup canned hearts of palm, drained and diced 1 large ripe Hass avocado, peeled, pitted and diced 2 Kirby or Persian cucumbers, peeled and sliced Directions/ Preparation 1/2 cup croutons 1. Place lettuce, peppers, cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, For dressing: corn, hearts of palm, avocado, cucumbers and croutons 1/4 cup liquid non-dairy creamer in a large salad bowl 1/4 cup mayonnaise 2. In a small bowl, whisk together all dressing 1/4 cup prepared pesto ingredients until smooth and creamy. 1 teaspoon prepared crushed garlic 3. Pour dressing over salad and toss lightly. 2 tablespoons pine nuts, plus more for garnish 4. Garnish with additional pine nuts and serve. 1 teaspoon salt

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Contributed by: Quick & Kosher: From the Bride Who Knew Nothing (Feldheim), JAMIE GELLER Jamie Geller was “The Bride Who Knew Nothing” when it came to the kitchen – until she found her niche as everybody’s favorite kosher cook next door. She is the author of the best-selling Quick & Kosher cookbook series and creator of Joy of Kosher with Jamie Geller magazine. Join Jamie and the world’s largest kosher food community on joyofkosher.com to discover thousands of FREE kosher recipes, inspiring menu ideas, how-to videos, and more! Follow more of Jamie’s Quick & Kosher cooking adventures on Twitter @JoyofKosher and on facebook.com/joyofkosher. I n

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[ Secrets of Selecting the Best Fruit ] By: Oved Lib, Editor

ow many times have you gone fruit shopping, only to end up frustrated? Have you ever seen a guest’s disappointment when biting into a sour fruit on your Shabbat table? Do your melons taste good one week and not the next? If this sounds familiar, rip out this page and use it the next time you go fruit shopping. It’ll come in handy.

Strawberries Look for plump, deep red strawberries with a shiny skin. Medium and small berries are usually the sweetest. Once harvested, Strawberries do not ripen. Avoid berries with green, yellow or white patches; an indication of under-ripeness. Snatch up the ones with that heavenly, sweet strawberry smell.

I’ve compiled a list of the most common fruits found in our local groceries. Soon you’ll learn the same techniques the professionals use to select delicious, ripe fruits. From now on, you’ll look forward to fruit shopping.Note: For the best flavor, try to purchase fruits in season.

Cherries Look for firm but not hard cherries that are plump, have a shiny skin and a green stem. Avoid any cherries that have a brown stem, are mushy or have brown spots. Color varies depending on the type of cherry. Deep color indicates a good flavor. Avoid dull colors. Season: May through June

Disclaimer: Some fruits have a chazaka of being infested. Other fruits must be washed a certain way before eating. Some fruits must be checked for worms, Etc. Please consult your local Rav for specifics.

Apples Apples should be smooth, firm and free of blemishes and bruises. For most apples, the crisper they are, the better they taste. To determine crispness, make a small indent in the apple. If you hear a small sound, similar to biting into a crisp apple sound, the apple goes in your basket. When you handle apples, keep in mind that they’re very fragile. Season: October through April Bananas Make sure your bananas don’t have any soft spots or bruises. A green banana is not ripe. A brown banana is over ripe. For the best flavor, wait till the banana is all yellow with brown spots on it. To speed up the ripening process, place bananas in the sun. Once the bananas are ripe you can refrigerate them to extend their life. Usually, the skin turns brown if refrigerated, but don’t let that fool you, the inside is still good. Season: Year round. Berries Blueberries- Berries are fresh when firm. For the best flavor, look for berries that are a bright, deep blue. If the color is a bit red, they will be tart. If they’re a dull color, they’ll be bland. Season: Mid June to late August. 24

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Oranges & Grapefruit Don’t be fooled by the color. Most citrus fruits are injected with food coloring to make them look appealing (Ever notice those orange hands after peeling an orange?). The best ones have a thin skin, are smooth and firm, although they should give in slightly to pressure. The ones that are heavy for their size are the juicy, delicious ones. Season: Mid-November to late spring although they’re richest in flavor January to early March. Grapes The key is firmness. Grapes need to look plump and appealing and the skin needs to be tight. Stay away from mushy, wrinkled and soft grapes. It’s not easy to tell if the grapes are sweet or tart by looks alone. Wipe one down, make a beracha, and give it a taste. Season: August to September Peaches, Plums & Nectarines The heavier, the jucier. Look for plump ones with a smooth skin that are slightly firm and that give in when pressure is applied. Hard ones will usually not ripen. In order to get them to ripen quickly, put F a s h i o n

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them in a brown paper bag. Season: July through September. Mangoes They come in several different varieties and colors. If the flesh is soft to the touch, it’s ripe. Look for the distinctive, sweet, mango smell at the stem end of the fruit. Season: Mexican mangoes: Late March through September. Florida mangoes: May through September. Haitian mangoes: January through September.Brazilian mangoes: September through January. Melons Watermelons- One of the trickier ones… Look for a melon that’s firm and heavy for its size, without too many cuts and bruises. Make sure it has a yellow spot on one of its sides. This indicates that the melon has ripened in the sun. If the melon is open, the flesh should have a deep color and be firm. Apply slight pressure. If you hear a “crisp” sound, put it in your basket. Season: Mid May through August. Cantaloupe- Ripe when cream colored and not greenish. The end opposite the stem should be slightly soft and give of a sweet smell. To ripen, leave out in the sun. Season: June through August Honeydew- Ripe when skin is slightly soft. It’s not easy to find a sweet honeydew. When it smells sweet and delicious when ripe, it usually tastes delicious as well. Store at room temperature until ripe. Season: from August to October. Pineapples Once picked, Pineapples don’t ripen, so it’s very important to select one that’s ripe. You know they’re sweet and juicy if they’re heavy for their size and smell sweet by the stem. Also, the skin should give slightly to pressure. The leaves should be crisp and green with no yellow or brown spots. Season: March through July. [IF]

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[ FOCUS ON FASHION ] By: Miri

ear Readers, A new trend is emerging: Be different. Fashion has evolved and it’s become more about personal style than the latest runway looks. Defining your own look has become the next adventure in the fashion world. Whether you try classic cuts, bold colors and patterns or new accessories- the point is to experiment, indulge in indecision. Be a chameleon or a bohemian; ladylike or an avant-garde. Now is the time to try new things, and make them your own! -Miri Q. I’m getting married in the early fall, and I really don’t want to wear pure white; the color is really not flattering on me. Is it too late in the season to wear an ivory wedding gown? Tina Pollack, Brooklyn A. When a bride is planning her wedding, there are many details that need to be considered. The caterer, the hall, invitations etc. and the same general rule applies to all aspects. It’s your wedding day, and a bride can choose whatever she is most comfortable with. That being said, if you want your bridal party to reflect the current runway trends, you might want to consider winter white as an alternative to ivory. It is dark enough so that it won’t look stark white next to your skin, but is still youthful and elegant. Ivory is a very fine look, but is more traditional, and runs the risk of looking antique. 26

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Q. I see that some stores are starting to show pre-fall collections. What are the new fall colors that I should be looking for and how do I incorporate them into my basic black wardrobe? Shira Abramowitz, Lawrence A. Fall brings with it new colors to our wardrobe palette. Bright and vibrant teal, soft and demure purples and browns, and punches of mustard. Play with the new colors like a painter experiments on a canvas. Check out Caroline Herrera’s Fall line for inspirational elements like jeweled beading and silks, and a pleated chocolate organdy coat dress. For just a pop of color, try to brighten an outfit with a bright accessory such as a teal clutch or a piece of statement jewelry like a bright purple cuff. If you want to wear all one color, break it up with different shades or even a pattern, but stick to one design. Break out of your black and grey uniform and have fun with color. Q. There are so many beautiful new looks for fall, but if I want to invest in one really great piece that will last me for years, what do you suggest? Rachel Kravitz, Woodmere A. Looking back on fashion through the years we see trends and fads that move through time, but a classic look that never goes out of style is a great jacket. Every woman should own one, whether it’s a great basic cut that you can pair with a dress, or a fabulous emF a s h i o n

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bellishment that catches your eye. Also consider a suede or leather piece for a more contemporary turn, such as Jill Sander’s aubergine creation. [IF] ----------------------------------------------MIRI has retail locations in Cedarhurst, Brooklyn, and Lakewood and has three locations in Israel as well. Contact: Cedarhurst boutique & bridal salon 516.374.1095, Brooklyn boutique & bridal salon 718.692.7200, New Jersey boutique & bridal salon 732.534.9858, Jerusalem boutique 026502352, Ramat Gan boutique 036186231, Jerusalem bridal salon 026525638. On the web at www.miricouture.com Miri Urbach is a renowned designer from Lawrence New York. Her creations have graced fashion’s elite from Manhattan, L.A., London, Paris & more for the last 20 years. From custom designs, to off the rack, MIRI is at the cutting edge in bringing fashion forward looks to the observant world. MIRI is second to none in customer care and her personal touch is felt in all her stores. Send your questions and comments to info@miricouture. com

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[ SHARON’S STYLE FILE ] By Sharon Langert www.fashion-isha.com

ummer is upon us and the heat is on! The greatest fashion dilemma for the frum fashionista is how to keep cool and covered while remaining chic and stylish. Simple summer pleasures like going to the beach or pool, packing for a weekend trip to the country or even just getting dressed for the office can become a challenging endeavor. Thankfully many of this summer’s trends are chic and easy to implement. Here are three summer looks to help get you styled for summer:

STRIPE IT UP

Stripes are super cool this season and can be worn in so many ways. Try a striped blouse with a pencil skirt for the office or even a striped tank layered over a cool t-shirt. A button down cardigan is a nice addition when the AC’s on full blast. If you love to take fashion risks, try mixing it up by combining several different stripes in one outfit. And don’t forget to accessorize this trend by adding a row of colorful bangles or really cute striped shoes. For a casual day, a tote in happy colors or a striped floppy hat can up the cute factor of your outfit. Finish you look with a coordinating lipgloss to add a pop of shiny color.

DRESSING FOR THE BEACH OR THE POOL Dressing for a day at the beach or pool can be quite a challenge for the woman who cares about looking great and keeping modest. I’m always on the look out for the great cover up that actually “covers up” the way I would like it. This is not the easiest feat. A fabulous maxi dress in a vibrant color or pattern is great to throw on as a cool coverup and is also chic enough for the busy woman who needs to stop for errands on the way to and from the beach. Pair your maxi with a light t-shirt, pretty jeweled sandals and a vivid headscarf in a contrasting color for a happy summer look.

Another option I personally love when I’m going to the beach or pool is sporting an extra long t-shirt tucked into a casual denim skirt that can be removed beachside. Treat yourself to a beach bag pretty enough to pass as your handbag and fill it with beach essentials including a good SPF lotion and moisterizing lip balm. Keep your makeup and jewelry light; a nice pair of hoop earings or a few bangles is just enough to up your glam factor. 28

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JUICY COLOR COMBO: TANGERINE AND NUDE Citrus colors are always popular in the summer, and tangerine is especially big this season. This hue pairs gorgeously with shades of nude and is especially stylish when several unmatched shades of nude, beige and even brown are incorporated. This is a great way to summer-ize your work wardrobe or add a splash of color to your basic neutrals when planning a weekend getaway. A brown leather belt is the perfect accessory to a pull together a brightly colored skirt with a neutral top. Try a gold studded cognac bag to add a sophisticated edge and anchor your look with a pair of coordinating heels for the office or flats for running around.

Shopping Guide: STRIPE IT UP: striped blouse: lastcall.com, striped tote: target.com, striped shoes: dsw.com, white pencil skirt: theoutnet.com, striped tank top: oldnavy.com, resin bangles: bloomingdales. com, striped hoop earings: maxandchloe.com. DRESSING FOR THE BEACH OR POOL: striped t-shirt: stylebop.com, denim skirt: oldnavy.com, beaded sandals: nordstrom.com, silk scarf: theoutnet.com, ray-ban sunglasses: endless.com, maxi-dress: topshop.com, the sak satchel: zappos.com, red coral hoop earings: endless.com. JULY’S COLOR COMBO: TANGERINE AND NUDE: striped jersey skirt: oldnavy.com, marni leather blazer: theoutnet.com, cream bow blouse: topshop.com, orange maxi skirt: topshop.com, cognac sandal: dsw.com, satin ballet flat: dsw.com, cognac bag: lpcollection.com, leather belt: gap.com.

Sharon is a mother of five and has worked as a designer, artist and volunteer, doing everything from corporate & charity event planning, interior design & decorative mural painting and ultimately creating her frum- fashion clothing line, Purple by Sharon . Her ideal is to try to see the positive in every situation and to elevate the beauty in this world for higher purposes. She believes that the creativity of fashion and beauty, balanced with the right amount of modesty can be a conduit for feeling good and being the most effective woman you can be. Check out Sharon’s modest fashion blog at www.fashion-isha.com. You can contact Sharon at ask.fashion-isha@gmail.com. I n

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[ SUMMER FASHION: 5 Trends You Can Wear for Under $100 ] By Leah Helfgott

h, backyards and barbeques, water sports and watermelon…. Summer is finally here. Need a wardrobe boost? Don’t want to break the bank? We’ll let you in on some awesome styles, all for under $100.

1. The Trend: Stripes

2. The Trend: Shiny Gold

3. The Trend: Rollover Skirts

From top to bottom, broad stripes are adorning casual clothes and accessories this summer. And this time, stripes come in really interesting colors and contrasts. Try these fashions on for less than $100:

This year brings plenty of “bling” and summer shimmer. There’s lots of gold, silver and glittery fabrics. The latest jewelry is large, shiny, and, well, you just can’t miss it. Want to wear the trend? Look what we found:

Rollover skirts are a must! Because of their comfort and flattering looks, we’re pretty sure you’ll keep these awesome skirts in your closet for a long time. Here are some of our affordable favorites:

4 $29.9 Azalea Baguette Bracelet $49.50

$34.50

Banana Republic – www.bananarepublic.com

Women’s Striped Jersey Skirt $29.94

Women’s Regular Cotton Modal Foldover Knee-length Flare Skirt $34.50

Old Navy – www.oldnavy.com

Lands’ End – www.landsend.com

Knotted Metal Mesh Necklace $39.90 Express – www.express.com

Floppy Striped Straw Hat $34.95

7 $82.4

Kate Spade New York Candy Shop Stripe Socks $18.00

Martinez Valero Women’s Vy Open-Toe Pump $82.47

Gap – www.gap.com

Endless – www.endless.com

Zappos – www.zappos.com 32

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Allen Allen Tie Dye Stripe Foldover Skirt $78.00

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Zappos – www.zappos.com

4. The Trend: Animal Prints

5. The Trend: E s p a d r i l l e s

Whether you choose to wear them loudly or in more subtle accents, animal prints will take your style and kick it up a notch. Animal prints can be fun and playful, or elegant and classy. Take a look at these great picks:

Think breezy boardwalks and evening cafes. Yup, these shoes are the definition of summer! For under $100, you can walk out in these gorgeous espadrilles:

5 $59.9

$36 Sunglasses – Style # S1041 $36.00

BP. ‘Blooms’ Espadrille Slingback Sandal $59.95 Nordstrom – www.nordstrom.com

Steve Madden – www.stevemadden.com

MICHAEL Michael Kors Animal Print 1 1/4” Leopard Belt $40.00 Zappos – www.zappos.com

5 $89.9

$98

MARVILIS $89.95 Steve Madden – www.stevemadden.com

Jessica Simpson Handbag, Snappy Satchel $98.00 Macy’s – www.macys.com

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So there you go. Five trends you can wear for under 100 dollars. But before you go shopping, here’s another fashion secret: We found awesome superlong maxi skirts at Piperlime (www.piperlime.com) and Express (www.express.com). So go out, enjoy your summer and happy shopping! Leah Helfgot is a Designer and Social Media Specialist at Tabeez.com, a modest clothing store, with a retail location in Lakewood, NJ. •

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[ Starch: How to Beat The Eat and Save The Scale ] By: Dr. Bo Rosenblat

any patients ask me, “why is starch bad?” There are many reasons that people fall into a love-triangle with starch. Intuitively we all understand that if I were to take 6 teaspoons of sugar and eat it at once that this would be unhealthy, however, we may not think twice about eating a slice of white bread. In essence, the effect of the white bread is exactly the same as the 6 teaspoons of sugar!

When a high glycemic food is consumed, we get a rapid spike in our blood sugar. Our body’s natural response to the elevated blood glucose level is to produce insulin, which takes the excess glucose in the blood and drives it into the cells of the muscle tissue to be used as an energy source. Our bodies are designed to easily accommodate small amounts of sugar, however, when large amounts are consumed quickly our body’s natural systems are overwhelmed.

Foods like bread, pasta, potatoes and rice are considered starch carbohydrates. Scientifically, their molecular compositions are long chains of glucose molecules bound in a line. When consumed, the digestive enzymes in our stomach easily cleave these chains into individual glucose molecules and cause an immediate rise in the blood glucose levels.

Once our muscle cells reach capacity the excess sugar stays in our blood stream, but our body continues producing insulin to correct the high glucose levels. At this point our body has both high blood sugar and high insulin levels. In time, our bodies will naturally consume the stored glucose and our insulin begins functioning normally again and the remaining glucose is processed causing an automatic craving response or “crash.” This is the cycle of binging on sweets and starches, which we can’t seem to stop.

So what does this mean to you? Starches as a group all have high glycemic indexes; this is the rate at which a particular food can raise an individual’s blood glucose, causing a spike in blood sugar and a surge of energy that many people know as a “sugar high.” Have you ever eaten a high starch, high sugar food, like cake or bread and then twenty minutes later felt the need to have more? This cycle isn’t just psychological, but it’s also physiological.

This isn’t to say that a person should never eat starches or sugars again. Before you abandon all hope of ever eating starches, know that there are ways to blunt the harmful effects of starches. Two types of food actually slow the body’s ability to break down starches and absorb the glucose. Both fats and fiber are difficult for our body to process and digest, and when combined with a sugar or starch the stomach’s enzymes have to work around them to get to the glucose. This causes your glucose levels to rise at a slower, healthier pace. Practically speaking, if you eat bread with salad or dipped in olive oil, the glycemic index is significantly lower than if it were consumed alone. Another added benefit? When combining fat and fiber to starches there is a delay in the stomach emptying causing you to feel full longer. Try the following strategies to manage starches and sugars, without completely abandoning them: • •

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Whole grain breads, instead of whole wheat or white bread. Thin wraps for sandwiches, in

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stead of thick white bread. Brown rice or Quinoa, instead of white rice. Whole wheat pasta or Kojuc noo dles, instead of ordinary pasta. Combining fats, oils, and fiber when consuming starches or sugars. Viewing starches as “desserts” to be indulged in small amounts.

When creating Dr. Bo’s Diet, I realized that many programs had dumbed down weightloss. Patients didn’t understand what they were eating or why. I wanted to create a customizable program with rapid results and long-term sustainability, one where patients leave my office with tools necessary to live in the real world eating real food and maintaining a healthy weight. No one should have to be on any diet for life; or worse, jump from one program to another year after year. Losing weight is important, but keeping it off for good is the most important. During the course of our 15week, 4-phase program, our patients will see rapid and healthy weight loss during Phases 1 & 2, with the average patient losing between ½ pound to a 1½ pounds per day, very often 30 pounds down in just 30 days, all under direct medical supervision. More importantly, in Phase 3, the patients’ metabolism is reset locking in their new healthier base weight undoing years of metabolic abuse. Most importantly, in Phase 4, the patients Basil Metabolic Rate (BMR) is identified, teaching the patient the amount of calories needed daily to maintain and/ or lose weight. Patients are given all the tools necessary to understand how all the elements in their diet interplay with one another and affect them on the scale. Patients leave feeling like “Junior Nutritionists” having gained the knowledge, tools, and confidence not only to lose weight, but to keep the weight off for good. [IF] --------------------------------------------------Dr. Bo Rosenblat is a board-certified medical doctor with office locations in Hewlett, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens and Great Neck. For more information about Dr. Bo’s Diet, please call in Long Island: 516-284-8248 or in NYC: 888-750-3726.

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[ ASK THE PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER ]

By: Baila Feig

NEWMN! COLU Hi Readers! Welcome to a new column in In Fashion Magazine where you can email me your organizing questions, dilemmas and comments. I will start off the debut column with posing an organizing dilemma and then answering it.

My house is overwhelmed with clutter! Things tumble out when I open any closet door, drawers are stuffed until they can only partially open, and I have towers of cardboard boxes full of I-don’t-know-what. I will have a lot of free time this summer. How can I sort through mountains of things and get organized, to boot?

Firstly, congratulations on your desire to get organized. In today’s society, many people feel compelled to acquire the newest and the trendiest of things, whether it’s electronics, clothing, or children’s (or adults!) toys. As soon as they’ve bought the ‘latest’ it’s already ‘old’ and they’ve got to get the next newest version. Into the drawers, closets or basements go the ‘older’ electronics. After all, they can’t throw it out; they just bought it two minutes ago… I mean two months ago, and, of course, it would be a shanda to throw it out - and people in China are starving, you know. So! To start you off, use the Stay - Go Throw - I Don’t Know Method (credited to Stephanie Voight). Stay means you are keeping this item and it belongs somewhere in this room. Go means you are keeping this item but it belongs in another room. Throw means it does not belong in your house or your life and you are throwing it out! Yaaayyy! 36

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I Don’t Know means you can’t or haven’t yet decided if you want this item and you will decide later. I don’t mean deciding in ten years, or putting 75% of your possessions in this pile! Empower yourself by making decisions and seeing immediate results. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Once it’s out of your house, it’s OUT! The easiest items to get rid of, and that get you hooked on creating more space, are; broken toys, games which are missing pieces, and worn-out, or bleached or shabby looking clothing. If you are saving your size 10 wardrobe in the hopes you’ll take off the (embarrassing amount of ) weight, donate it to a gemach and let someone else enjoy it. You’ll reward yourself with an updated wardrobe when you will again be that size 10. You will deserve it. The tremendous satisfaction you will feel when you throw out your junk, will stoke your enthusiasm to continue paring down your possessions. You will find things you thought were lost, you will free up space you never thought you’d have again and F a s h i o n

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you can more readily organize the necessary and sentimental items you are keeping. [IF] Baila Feig, Founder and President of Why Organizing Works is a Professional Organizer who organizes any and all rooms and office space for Professionals, Working Families, Seniors and Singles!. She de-clutters, does space optimization, creates filing systems, packs and unpacks your move, etc. As a Personal Assistant she performs myriad tasks and offers creative solutions in dealing with many of life’s challenging practical issues. Accounting, Bookkeeping and Computer Services are also available. If you are in need of a speaker to conduct a fun and informative Organizing Workshop at luncheons, PTA, shul functions, etc. or informal get-togethers , Call Baila at 347-5989608 or email to info@whyorganizingworks. com Join her on Twitter (http://bit.ly/WOWtwitter) and Facebook http://on.fb.me/WOWorganizing for a 10% discount on your first 3-hour session.

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[ 5 Ideas for more Memorable Summer Pictures ] By: Rina Schiffman

ummer is upon us, and with the longer days and additional family time, come many more opportunities for you to photograph your kids. Now, I know that in my last article I wrote about the benefits of taking less pictures of your kids, but let’s face it, the additional daylight hours and lots of family outings are going to result in many more pictures for the family album (or the family hard drive, if you’re like most people and never get around to printing your photos). All parents like to document their children having fun and experiencing new things. Whether its watching your toddler bite into his first juicy slice of watermelon and seeing the pink juice dribble down his chin and onto his chest, or taking pleasure in the look of intense interest on your (usually bored) teenager’s face as she catches the first glimpse of the Eiffel Tower on your family vacation, you as a parent are going to be snapping a lot more photos during the summer months than probably any other time of year. So why not make those photos really special? No matter what type of camera you have, you can go beyond just taking snapshots to document your summer. With some creative thinking and planning ahead, you can create truly original photos that are anything but boring old vacation photos.

Go Underwater So much of our summer is spent in or around water, whether it’s the bungalow pool, your local beach, or the backyard sprinkler. Instead of taking the typical shots of your family splashing around in the water, try actually taking the photos from the water. Waterproof camera casings can be found for virtually every make and model of digital camera, and they are usually not

that expensive. (Aquapac makes one that will fit a standard point and shoot camera with a zoom for about $37) Just insert your camera into the waterproof case and snap some pictures of your kids making funny faces underwater, or of everyone’s toes in the water. Have someone aim a water gun directly into the camera and take a picture just as the water is hitting the lens. Be creative and think of your own ways to document everyone having fun in the water and you’ll be left with lots of really unique and fun shots.

Don’t say “smile!” Try to capture real emotions. Don’t command everyone to smile for every single photo. Instead, focus on shooting what you see. If your kids are so immersed in what they are doing or seeing, that you have to call them five times and make loud noises to get them to look at your camera, you are probably better off just capturing them exactly the way they are. It’s ok if they aren’t looking at the camera; simply position yourself so you can get a good shot of their entranced faces. Even if some family members are tired, grumpy, or in the midst of a full blown tantrum, getting a photo of them right then will be much more interesting to look at later on than one in which they are smiling forced, unnatural “saycheese” smiles for the camera. Photos like that tell stories, interesting stories which are lost once you ruin the moment by forcing everyone to look at the camera and smile. My photo albums are full of photos like that. I have a black and white photo of my oldest as a baby with a fat tear rolling down her cheek. She had been crying for a moment, and when she stopped, that tear was ever so slowly rolling down her cheek, so slowly in fact, that I had time to run and get my camera, come back, and take the shot. The resulting photo was so beautiful and I can still remember that moment today.

Delegate For one day or even just one outing, try giving the job of family photographer over to someone else in the family. Instruct them that they should take pictures of whatever interests them. This experiment will be most interesting if you give the camera to a child. Children see the world dif38

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ferently than adults. They notice things that we might miss, or find boring. They are more in touch with their creative sides. They can capture exceptional photographs if given the time and opportunity, and even if their photographic skills leave much to be desired, I can guarantee that you will be left with some very interesting shots that you otherwise would never have gotten.

Focus on details For memorable photos that really stand out from the same old shots filling your family albums right now, focus on taking pictures of details. When you’re stuffing the last suitcase into the back of your van before taking off on a family trip, snap a picture of the luggage crammed into the trunk. Take a shot of your hotel room number, of the sandy flip flops left on the back porch as the sun sets. Snap a photo of the guy in the gas station you stopped at to ask for directions, or the lone beach ball floating in the pool after everyone has gone inside. You’ll be surprised by how vividly those photos remind you of certain moments you experienced.

Less is more Don’t spend the entire vacation taking pictures. No matter how exciting your trip to Mexico was, if you have 600 photos of it chances are there will be 575 very, very boring photos and maybe 25 really cool ones. Time spent with family will be infinitely more memorable if you actually take time to experience it without a camera stuck to your face, so you have to know when to shoot and when to put your camera away. If you’re bored of the same old boring snapshots you take year after year, try some of these ideas this summer. You’ll be glad you did, and your pictures will speak for themselves. [IF] ----------------------------------------------Rina Schiffman is a professional photographer specializing in creating beautiful, emotive portraits of babies, children, and families. Her studio is located in Brooklyn, NY. To schedule a portrait session or for more information, she can be reached at 917-750-3424 or RinaSchiffman@yahoo.com. Check out her website at www.RinaSPhotography.com ,read about her latest sessions on her blog at www. throughrinaslens.wordpress.com, and follow her on Facebook to be part of really cool contests and free giveaways.

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[ Why It’s Important To Apply Before You Buy ] By: Yael Ishakis

hen house hunting, most people start shopping with one thought in mind - finding their dream home. The fun begins with buyers scouring the newspaper classifieds and attending open houses.

all the nitty gritty rules and nuances involved in mortgage qualifications such as a self employed borrower needs to be on the job for two years, Etc. The problem here is that even though Mr. Cohen worked for a fortune 500 company for 14 years, he just started his own business 11 In due time, family Cohen finds a months ago and although business home they fall in love with. They is booming the income can’t be used. immediately put in an offer with the realtor and the realtor asks them for The Cohen’s are devastated and the their pre approval. “What’s that?” helpful loan officer suggests a non They wonder sheepishly, and then occupying cosigner. Mrs. Cohen’s tell the broker they don’t have a pre eyes light up. Her mother would approval. The realtor then informs do that gladly. So while the Cohen’s them she cannot present discuss the situtheir offer without proof ation with the that they’re qualified in-laws and for financing from a until the lending institution. in-laws provide the The Cohens then paperwork call a mortgage profesnecessary sional who immedifor the pre ately meets them to approval, the review their paperrealtor has alwork and ensure they ready received are indeed qualified to get financing. o f - fers from two fully qualified What the Cohens aren’t aware of are borrowers with preapprovals.

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Aside for the fact a homebuyer shouldn’t be rushing and wondering if they will lose their dream home, it’s always wise to know what you can afford and know the different down payment options (putting down 3.5% vs. 20%). It’s also good to speak to a loan officer so they can guide you on what mistakes to avoid that hinder people from getting approved, or advise you on what to do to prevent a credit score from going down or to even boost a credit score enabling a borrower to receive a much better rate. Save yourself time and heartache. Apply before you buy. [IF] ------------------------------------------Yael Ishakis is affiliated with First Meridian Mortgage LLC, a Licensed Banker, NY Department of Real Estate. Yael Ishakis hosts Home Buyer’s Seminars which are open to the public on the first Tuesday of each month at 2607 Nostrand Avenue Brooklyn NY 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Seating is limited. To reserve your seat at the next event, call 718732-0309 to RSVP and obtain a free copy of Ishakis’s Home Buyer Handbook. NMLS 9879. Email Yael @ Yishakis@fmm.com

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[ Good, Clean …Dirt! ] By: Yehudis Sashitzky

“

Frogs and snails and puppy dogs’ tails, that’s what little boys are made of…” And while girls have their “sugar and spice and everything nice” days, much to their mothers’ dismay, most children love to play in dirt. I laugh as I remember one of my grown daughter’s super clean and organized ways. Before she married, a few minutes after she stepped into our house, nothing was out of place; Ever. I had to go searching for my mail or other

motherhood. Although her motherhood is the “frogs and snails” type, she is weathering it like a trooper. Regaling me with unreal scenarios such as her two oldest boys creating Bello the Clown hair styles on each other, complete with gluey hair sprayed hair a few minutes before it was time to leave for school, or permanently mud stained feet that wouldn’t wash off till the summer was just a happy memory, and one Shabbos morning when a sleuthing four year old took hammer in hand to

of keeping things clean. And then we have children... Most of us get used to the messiness of up ended Lego baskets and cope pretty well. But what if you are of the most fastidious genre, the ones that wash their floors after each meal, have their knit tops color coded in their drawers from dark to light, never leaving an unwashed spoon in the sink? How do you go from clean to … children? After all, sometimes children find dirt most entertaining. Carnival painted faces, dump truck in the sand, and digging for worms are irresistible fun.

things I had left out! When she was expecting I would reflect on the days when my floors were strewn with toys, wondering how she would adjust to

decorate her pristine wall with a nail for Tatty’s hat – a foot and half above the floor! We grow up appreciating cleanliness, learning all the tricks of the trade

To achieve that balance, be mentally prepared to look away as your kids get into safe dirt (no glass or other dangers involved). When you choose to em(continued on page 48)

“and one Shabbos morning when a sleuthing four year old took hammer in The trick, of course, is to find a happy You’ve probably felt the conhand to decorate her pristine wall with balance. flict of trying to keep your young ones clean and their irrepressible desire to a nail for Daddy’s hat – a foot and half experience everything about the world they live in, most especially the mud above the floor!” pies.

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brace your children’s budding creativity and freedom despite your distaste for dirt, you might want to schedule in “dirty days” once or twice a week. The summer time particularly lends itself to free from care activities.

ful childhood memories will make you more relaxed. Choose a time when you don’t “need” the baked goods and leave lots of time for the adventure, avoiding any stress. Expecting the inevitable spills makes them easier to tolerate.

as it crawled its way toward its destination, the shape of passing clouds; priceless sights that were usually missed in the hustle and bustle of life. No phones, no one else, just us together we would share whatever came to mind. It was a

“No phones, no one else, just us together we would share whatever came to mind. It was a luxurious and calming time of precious bonding that we all looked forward to.” Here are some ideas for healthy fun: on a hot day, dress your youngster in bathing suits and send them outside equipped with washable finger paint and large sheets of paper. They will have a blast! Just make sure you have a hose or kiddy pool nearby to wash off the results. Digging in the dirt is an all time favorite. Find an unobtrusive spot in your yard where you don’t mind a bit of a mess and give out pails and shovels. Chalking up the sidewalk, blowing bubbles outside till they’re dripping off both arms, wrapped candy treasure hunt in the backyard, are all ideas you can expand upon. Small doughy hands and grinning flour covered faces are a delight. Remembering that your goal is not the finished product, but giving your children healthy experiences and wonder-

Encourage your kids to look for different sorts of leaves, acorns, branches, cocoons and other natural things to look at closely and talk about. Collecting magical fireflies at twilight – get those jars ready – telling your children in advance that they may keep the fireflies just long enough to enjoy their lights, but they must let them go at bedtime.

luxurious and calming time of precious bonding that we all looked forward to. Knowing their “night walk” was soon to follow, it was easy to get the children inside to bathe and dress for bed. The togetherness and memories of those “night walks” are incomparable. Both children agree it was a special time of their childhoods.

One of my favorite summer activities was our daily “night walk”. My two youngest children, then about three and six years old, were bathed, pajamaed, and equipped with ice cream cones. Each holding one of my hands, we would very slowly meander down the city street or country path just to see what we could see. It was a calm quiet time together when each of us would point out interesting sites – a beautiful flower that we would stand and analyze, an interesting bug that we would watch

Fallen autumn leaves give you another opportunity to enjoy life. Everyday, as I walked my children to school down Ocean Parkway, we would find the largest accumulation of wind strewn leaves and gleefully kick them up as we strode through them. How we laughed! Find fun in the everyday and welcome (some) dirt into your lives as you raise healthy, happy, and creative children. Have a great summer!! [IF] -----------------------------------------------

Self-knowledge is your key to growing. As a life coach I can help you to better relationships and through overcoming challenges. Because you want to: THRIVE, NOT JUST SURVIVE! Send me your summer fun ideas! To receive future articles on personal development please contact me at yehudis@coachingempowers.net or at 917-3243125 Yehudis Sashitzky CPC, Personal Growth Life Coach, graduated Touro College with a double major in Psychology and Education, has worked for P’eyim/Lev L’Achim for the past 17 years, and is certified as a Professional Coach by the Darco Coaching School of Excellence. Yehudis lives with her husband and blended family. Experience for yourself the rewards of clarity and insight that coaching will bring you. Complimentary consultation and phone coaching are available. Reach Yehudis at 718-258-4020 or 917-324-3125. 48

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[ The Stubborn Child – Help!!!! ] By: Shira Frank

t is correct to say that being strongwilled can be an asset in one’s life. Great people are driven to lofty ideals and high aspirations through their determination. However, strong-willed people also need to learn to be flexible. As a parent, this is a gift that you teach your child. In reality, having siblings is an asset for a stubborn child. If a child was an only child, it would only be more difficult for him to acclimate to society-at-large. He would constantly wonder why things didn’t go his way and would be angry at the prospect of change, or things constantly being out of his control. Learning to share is an important developmental task for all children, especially stubborn ones. A parent needs to always attempt to be consistent with children, but even more so, with a stubborn child. A stubborn child will “corner you” with you inconsistencies and find that opening in order to crawl in and get his way! If a person does weaken to the demands of a stubborn child due to incessant whining and crying, this will only broaden the child’s future pathways to more whining and crying. Though a parent should not easily recapitulate to the demands of a child, one should not be excessively demanding, as a means to “put a child in his place.” In this way, you would be exemplifying a role model of a stubborn demanding parent, which is the least desirable role model you want to reflect to such a child. One should rather make a statement in a more controlled manner, closer to a neutral stance rather than showing much emotion. This way, a parent clarifies who the authority is and whose opinion will be final, without creating an emotionfilled confrontation. Avoiding confrontation with an overly responsive child is an important constructive preventative measure. This doesn’t mean that a parent hides toys or candy, as a way of preventing a child from demanding them. child need not be protected 50

from hearing, “Everything I want, I cannot receive.” This is crucial for a child to learn. Avoiding confrontation is accomplished by a parent who watches how they speak. A parent knows how easily they can put their child “against the wall,” as it is colloquially expressed. Stubborn children are challenged by statements expressing ultimatums and severe threats and feel that a parent almost enters into a power struggle with them, when spoken to in such a manner. A person needs to give children limitations and guidelines, but one’s tone of voice can reflect the difference between limitations and ultimatums. Adolescents by nature are often very stubborn, as means of asserting their independence.

The skill of negotiation and problem solving is a technique most successfully applied with strong-willed individuals and often a daily necessity for dealing with teenagers. Though you child is still young, there are times when problem-solving techniques are very helpful and are definitely not in the category of “spoiling a child.” A child learns that he can re-direct his desires and someone else’s desires, and someone else’s desires can be responded to as well. Both parent and child jointly discuss what they desire, and attempt to brain-storm ideas that could possibly lead to more of a compromise. Problem-solving should be used for major issues that do not seem to be resolving themselves. This technique is not to be used on a continuous basis for a child’s every request. As in all situations with children, the ability to give praise cannot be underestimated. A stubborn child, whose self-esteem is worked with, will be able to be flexible more easily. If one is more internally secure, one will be more open to listen to others, as the changing world around them will be less of a “threat.” Thus, they will be less stubborn in their responses and reactions to other individuals. As inner security is created with one’s self-esteem being enhanced, there is no more important endeavor of a parent than attempting to build a child’s self-esteem. After consistently implementing the above mentioned ideas, I am sure you will see improvement with your child. [IF] ----------------------------------------------Shira Frank, L.C.S.W., is a behavioral specialist and family therapist working with the frum community for over thirty years. Mrs. Frank is a renowned freelance writer whose publications span over twenty years. She has recently published a book entitled, “50 Pathways to Wisdom,” which, along with her inspiring and informative lectures in education, is available in Judaica stores throughout the New York area. Mrs. Frank accepts medical insurance and the Board of Education RSAs. For a consultation, please call 718-421-7182.

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[ MYSTERY IN THE GARDEN ] By: Yehudis Sashitzky

id you ever find yourself in a woodsy area or garden’s shade, surrounded by the heady, spicy scent of tall evergreens or other majestic trees? Have you ever stood spellbound, as I have, experiencing the gentle rustling of leaves as a gentle breeze wafts in and out of patches in the shrubbery? Have you watched the sun play hide and seek through the leaves? Did you ever turn delighted eyes upon vibrantly colorful wildflowers sprinkled across a grassy meadow? Perhaps you saw this scene at the hour when crickets, silent through much of the day, determine this to be the exact hour to finally give way to song. Sitting outdoors, playing the part of audience at a cricket symphony, have you marveled, as their chirping seemed to echo from every corner? Perhaps you were alone wherever you were and whenever this took place - but you did not feel lonely. Although you did not feel lonely, you 52

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did feel a strong primordial yearning. You remember there was something there in the garden, in the woods, that produced a longing in your heart. The natural beauty of this world is spread before you to feast upon, as a buffet before the guest. When you make the time to mindfully experience the unceasing variety and splendor of our world, a place deep inside you resonates to these truths and responds. Your eyes take it all in, but you feel there is something there that you do not see, cannot see, with your eyes -despite feeling it pull at you. Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt”l says you are experiencing the mystery in the Briah, the secret that is Hashem. Since churban bayis sheini, Hashem has hidden himself from us, allowing us glimpses of his actions mostly in subtle ways. Only someone who searches for F a s h i o n

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him, ‘connecting the dots’ of the goings on of events around him, recognizes his orchestration of everything and witnesses his presence. But although Hashem hides from us, he still wants us to find him! So he watches from behind the trees, shrubs, waterfalls, sunsets, hoping and waiting for us to seek him out and ‘find’ him. If we only allow ourselves a moment to realize what we feel, Hashem’s unseen presence arouses a palpable longing in us. As a moth to the light, so is our yearning for Hakodosh Baruch Hu. Oftentimes we ignore this hunger in pursuit of worldly things. The result is that we are left with a terrible emptiness deep inside. The Michtav M’Eliyahu asks: Why is our human nature never satisfied with the gashmius that we accrue? As our Rabbis teach, one who has a hundred (continued on page 54)

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dollars wants two hundred. Someone who has one thousand dollars wants two thousand, and so on. The Michtav M’Eliyahu’s answer is simple and poignant: All of the items we gather are gashmius, materialistic things that are acquired by the body. But we are not just bodies! Our neshamos clamor for sustenance more loudly than our bodies by engendering in us feelings of dissatisfaction, impatience or unease. Often we do not recognize these feelings for

When you say “I,” who is it that you speak of? Surely not of your legs, shoulders, or arms. It is your mind, your hopes, your essence that you refer to as “I”, that elusive thing that is your chiyus: it is your neshama. If we resist life’s lessons to nurture our souls by growing and stretching ourselves, our dissatisfaction persists. We remain with intangible, obscure feelings of unhappiness and restlessness if we ignore our neshamos’ clamoring. Rabbi Avigdor

os are sustained. Interestingly, despite wonderful glorious moments of supreme pleasure and tremendous nachas, and there have been many of these, B’chasdei Hashem, some of my most meaningful memories are of times when I struggled and overcame internal resistance to do the “right” thing. Precious moments that stand out in bold relief are those times when I fed my neshama. [IF]

“We have so much, compared to previous generations who lacked running water, home heating/cooling systems and stores containing a vast variety of every possible delicacy and convenience.” what they are: an emptiness and longing for closeness to the Borei Olam. We think perhaps we need another dress or necklace and “then we will feel happy.” Or we turn to eating to fill the void, but these measures do nothing for our discontent. We continually attempt to answer the neshama’s call by increasing our gashmius possessions, doing this over and over, leaving the requests of the neshama sadly ignored. And so we continue to feel inexplicably empty. No matter what you have amassed in money, furniture and jewelry, it’s all for the body – the neshama cannot attach or find happiness in these materialistic acquisitions. We have so much, compared to previous generations who lacked running water, home heating/ cooling systems and stores containing a vast variety of every possible delicacy and convenience. One would think we should be happy! We have everything!! But this is not so. Many of us have little of the things that manifest real happiness. 54

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Miller Zt”l says that cows, when their bellies are full, are content. Not so a Jew. Even with our bellies full, meaning, our homes fully furnished and our bodies fully outfitted with the latest styles, even with every physical comfort, we - our essence - remains empty and discontent, if we do not grow.

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A feeling of completeness and contentment can come about only through spiritual and emotional personal growth. We can resolve the Neshama’s craving for personal growth by frequently turning to Hashem in a meaningful way. We must reach for Him in tefilla and learning, all the while growing in our tolerance and acceptance of others, and chesed activities in pursuit of shelaimus.

VIVE!

When we stretch to overcome a difficulty in a Torah way, we grow internally and our neshamos are fed. When we do what Hashem wants of us despite the obstacles, when we struggle to keep peace when we would rather lash out… under these circumstances our neshamF a s h i o n

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In whatever role Hashem has cast you, self-knowledge is your key to thriving. As a personal growth life coach I can help you to better relationships and through overcoming challenges with self-discovery and acceptance. Because you want to: THRIVE, NOT JUST SUR-

I would dearly love to hear your thoughts and comments. Please contact me at yehudis@coachingempowers.net or at 917-324-3125 Yehudis Sashitzky CPC, of Coaching Empowers, is a Personal Growth Life Coach. Graduating Touro College with a double major in Psychology and Education, she has worked for P’eyim/Lev L’Achim for the past 16 years. She is certified as a Professional Coach by the Darco School of Coaching. Yehudis lives with her husband and blended family in Flatbush, NY. Experience for yourself the rewards of clarity and insight that coaching will bring you, with a complimentary session. Phone coaching is available. Yehudis can be reached at 718-258-4020 or 917-324-3125.

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[ Why Don’t you Sin? ] By: Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier

or many years, I was a high school rebbe. Part of the role of a rebbe is teaching young men how to learn, and part of his role (maybe the bigger part) is teaching them how to live. These were all religious fellows, from good homes, and at some point, early in the year, I would offer them a little challenge of belief. I would look at them and say, “Gentlemen, why don’t you sin? But I don’t mean little sins. I mean really big deal stuff: robbery, murder, pillaging…” Typically, someone would respond, “Rabbi, if I did that, Hashem would be angry with me. I don’t want Hashem to be angry with me!” I would look that fellow in the eye and say, “Listen to me. Throughout history many, many wicked people have flourished. Don’t worry about Hashem being angry with you. You just do exactly what you want.” At least one of the fellows would blurt out, “Yeah, that’s true now, but when I die, my nishamah will burn. I don’t want my nishamah to burn.” “Let me get this straight,” I would say. “There are many things that you do even though you don’t want to. There are many other things that you want to do, but you won’t — and it’s all for the sake of your nishamah? Listen to me. Forget about your nishamah. Why should you have to work so hard? You take care of you and let your nishamah burn.” While this may sound facetious, it actually underscores a common misunderstanding. We assume that right now, because I am alive, I think, I feel, I remember. When my time comes and I leave this earth, I die. So gone is the “I” that thinks, feels, and remembers. I will be dead. My soul, my alter ego,

some kind of distant cousin or scaled down version of me will stand in front of Hashem. But I will be dead. According to that assumption, the question I asked those fellows is valid. Why should I work now so that my nishamah should have a good time in the World to Come? Forget about my nishamah. I am going to take care of me. There is only one flaw with this approach. It is dead wrong. R’ Yisrael Salanter explains that the difference between me when I am alive and me when I am dead is like taking off a coat. When I walk into a room and take off my coat, I emerge. My coat is hung up, but I come into the room. R’ Yisrael explains that this is death. My body — the coat — is buried. I, the one who thinks and feels, emerge. I don’t die; my body does. It is put into the ground. But I, the occupant of the body, the one who told the arms and legs to move, live on forever. Not some scaled down version of me. Not my distant cousin or alter ego. I emerge. The same I who is sitting here right now, the same I that has been thinking and feeling, will live on with all of my memories. This concept is foreign to us because we tend think of death as a kind of sleep — a state of rest. When we speak about people who have passed on, we say things like, “Henry was a good man. Now he’s in his final resting place.” If you visit a cemetery, you will see many footstones inscribed with the words, “At Rest” or “Rest in Peace.” It seems that common wisdom equates dying with going

to sleep. As in, I will be “at rest.” R’ Yisrael is teaching us that this is completely inaccurate. Going to sleep means I leave the situation. I am not there. As an example, imagine that you break your arm, and you are in intense pain — the throbbing ache just won’t let up. You take Motrin, Tylenol with Codeine, Percocet — anything just to get some relief. But nothing helps. Finally, at 3:00 A.M. you fall asleep. The pain no longer bothers you because you aren’t there. You are asleep. We think of death like going to sleep. I won’t be there. My nishamah, my alter ego, that other part of me, may be there. But me? I will be asleep — at rest. According to that version of things, why should I work hard now so that someone else, my nishamah (whatever that is) should benefit? Forget it. I will take of me and let my nishamah burn. That is a critical error. When I die, my body is buried, but I live on. The same I that thinks, the same I that feels, will live on long after this body dies. The body is the housing that I fit into. But, much like an astronaut wearing a space suit, it doesn’t define me. It is something that I wear. When my time on this earth is up, that outside shell will be put into the ground, and I leave. [IF] -----------------------------------------------This is an excerpt from the new Shmuz on Life book: Stop Surviving and Start Living. The book will be in seforim stores beginning April 2011. Pre releases copies are available now at www.TheShmuz.com.

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[ Who Needs Moshiach? ] By: Rabbi Lazer Brody

ing Solomon, the wisest of men, said (Ecclesiastes 12:1), "And there shall come days of which you will say that you have no use for them." What did he mean? The Gemara in tractate Shabbat (151b) explains that the "worthless days" are the days of Messianic times, when people won't have either reward or punishment for their deeds, because everyone will automatically behave according to Gd's laws. Without a context of free choice and spiritual opposition (the Yetzer Hora, or Evil Inclination), rewards and punishments are meaningless, like a football team bragging that they scored ten touchdowns, only the other team hadn't yet arrived at the stadium. The Melitzer Rebbe shlit'a, says that it was worth Hashem's efforts to create the world just to hear one Jew say, Baruch hu u'varuch shmo, or blessed is He and Blessed is His name. The Rebbe continues, and says that one Amen is worth a hundred times Baruch hu u'varuch shmo. One Y'he shmay raba in Kaddish is worth a hundred times Amen. That's not all: One word of Gemorra study is worth a hundred times Y'he shmay raba. Therefore, a single word of Gemara study is worth a million Baruch hu u'varuch shmo; that means that Hashem is willing to create a million universes just to hear one word of Gemorra study. Now, if a person can say learning slowly - 90 words a minute, then in one hour he accumulates 5400 million reasons for Hashem to continue to sustain the universe. As you can see, the rewards for Torah learning are mind-boggling. Now, imagine the rewards of a rabbi who devotes his life to learning and outreach, helping others to learn Torah and fulfill its commandments. In addition to his own merits, he reaps dividends from the merits of those he has taught and influenced, along with their offspring until the arrival of Moshiach. The accrued mitzva value for such a "Mezakeh rabim" is beyond human comprehension.

ing day and night the arrival of Moshiach. Sure, the current spiritual wars are so tough that our holy sages were afraid of what Messianic times hold in store, but the spiritual paydirt is Fat City for those who remain faithful to Hashem and his Torah. If so, you ask, then who the heck needs Moshiach? We all do. But why?

To stop the chilul Hashem, or defamation of Hashem's Holy Name: Every day, some new politician or journalist sprouts like an unwanted weed here in our beloved holy homeland to sling filth about Hashem's loyal sons and daughters, while trampling Hashem's Holy Name G-d forbid, the Torah, and Tzaddikim G'Dolei Yisroel (the righteous leaders of Israel). The chilul Hashem (defamation of Hashem's name) must stop immediately; only Moshiach can put a stop to it.

In Israel alone, 1.5 million children are totally ignorant of their Judaism, and don't know the meaning of kriat shma. The Teshuva movement, which all its might, has succeeded in solving a mere 7% of the problem with their dedication-fueled meager resources, bringing about 100,000 children into religious education; even with our greatest efforts, we're not cutting the mustard. Only Moshiach can save all these kids from a dismal spiritual future.

Never since the holocaust, has there been such evil decrees as the current one threatening to expel tens of thousands of Jews from their homes, here in the heartland of Israel, Heaven forbid. Only Hashem knows what the future holds in

store. For the future of the people of Israel in the Land of Israel, we need Moshiach now!

Despite Boro Park and Stamford Hill, the numbers of Jews in the diaspora are rapidly decreasing because of assimilation and intermarriage, which together comprise a spiritual holocaust that only Moshiach can prevent. A devout Torah scholar can't sit in the comforts of his Williamsburg home and say, "I don't care about the others - my Olam Haba (world to come) is set!" Sorry, pal Klal Yisroel is like a ship; you may have a berth on the luxury deck, but if someone down in the hold drills a hole in the floorboards, you're going to sink with everybody else. Looking at our own expected rewards is utterly egotistical. Every single one of us has to bleed and tear his or her clothes at the sight of Chilul Hashem. Every single one of us must pour his or her heart out in prayer that a fellow Jew doesn't lose his home anywhere - and especially in Eretz Yisroel. Every single one of us has to do everything in his or her power to support Jewish outreach and to spread emuna in the world until every Jewish child in the world carries Shma Yisroel on his or her lips. Every single one of us has to beg Hashem to send Moshiach now in order to stop the spiritual holocaust, and to raise the Holy Shechina (the Divine Presence) from the dust of diaspora, speedily and in our days, amen. [IF] --------------------------------------------------Reprinted from http://lazerbrody.typepad.com, with the gracious permission of the author

“In Israel alone, 1.5 million children are totally ignorant of their Judaism”

With the above in mind, one would think that such leaders of the Teshuva movement as Rabbi Amnon Yitzchak, Rabbi Shalom Arush, and Rabbi Uri Zohar - may Hashem bless them and all the mezakey rabim, wherever they may be - would be protest60

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[ Shaindel Antelis: Making The World A Better Place, One Song At A Time ] By Sandy Eller

hile some children are seemingly born running and others seem to be born talking, Shaindel Antelis was born singing. While other little girls were spending their free time playing with dolls, Shaindel would go into her father’s recording studio, put on a pair of headphones and sing her heart out. When she got together with her friends, Shaindel would organize singing contests and by the time she was in fifth grade she had composed her first song. As Shaindel got older, she experienced the typical ups and downs that are part and parcel of growing up. Using music as the medium to work through her emotions which were sometimes upbeat and sometimes conflicted, Shaindel began writing more songs to not only express her feelings but to help her work her way through them. “I wanted people to know they weren’t alone,” said Shaindel. “If these things were happening to me they were happening to other people too. Teenagers and young adults are trying to figure out their lives and what they are supposed to be doing. Teenage girls in particular always feel like they don’t measure up. They aren’t smart enough, they aren’t beautiful enough, their clothing isn’t right. So many people have these problems and hearing Jewish music with positive messages addressing those concerns can help ease some of that teenage angst. By the time Shaindel was 17, she had recorded a five song demo with her brother Jake, but it was when she spent a year in Israel at Be’er Miriam that her life changed forever. Inspired by the kedusha that is unique to Israel, Shaindel wrote an astonishing number of songs. “I literally felt that Hashem was there with me, holding my hand. The songs were all about life and the challenges we face; the triumphs, both big and small. My yearning to be close to Hashem. It was so liberating to be able to express myself through music in a place where there were open mike nights for women and countless opportunities to perform.” By the time Shaindel came home, she presented her brother with a collection of over

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fifty new songs. Selecting the best ones, they began collaborating on Shaindel’s debut album, Heart and Soul. The album was finished by Chanukah and Shaindel went back to Israel for another six months, this time at Neve Yerushalayim. Again, the year in Israel had a positive effect on Shaindel, both spiritually and creatively, and she came home ready to work on her second album. “It isn’t always easy being a Jewish girl,” said Shaindel. “We need good positive role models, healthy frum outlets. My songs are for girls and women who are looking to get through their lives, build their self esteem and just feel good about themselves.” Shaindel’s first album, Heart and Soul sold out completely and her second album Change, released this past December, has been warmly received. For Shaindel, the music is all about outreach, helping herself and others get closer to Hashem. The songs are a mix of English messages, interspersed with Hebrew, dealing with real life situations and Shaindel’s audiences run the gamut from chareidi women in Har Nof to totally secular young women on college campuses. “My songs are largely in English so that they speak directly to the listener in a language that they really understand,” explained Shaindel. “People go through so many difficulties in their lives. I am hoping to help put a smile on their faces, help them get through the day and feel Hashem in their lives. I am hoping to find the people who will appreciate my music and be able to grow through it.” While Shaindel longs to return to Israel, she feels that her place right now is in the United States and she currently lives in Brooklyn and works for a sheitel company in addition to doing both concerts and workshops in schools and seminaries. F a s h i o n

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Aside from the uplifting positive messages and excellent vocals featured on Shaindel’s albums, they also created an opportunity to foster family closeness as her father and brothers have lent their talents to the projects, with her father playing bass and guitar and brother Jake arranging, doing all the instrumentation, production and studio work, in addition to playing drums on Heart and Soul. Brothers Jake and Ben shared drum duty on Change. “It was a family project,” said Shaindel proudly. “We must have spent a million hours working together.” Shaindel’s signature guitar, which she hand decorated herself over a period of three weeks with over 5,500 rhinestones, are the perfect metaphor for Shaindel and her music. A work of art, the guitar itself isn’t just a visual delight; it is a source of music that is inspiring, meaningful and full of beauty, just like Shaindel herself. [IF] --------------------------------------------------To listen to or purchase Shaindel’s albums or for more information about Shaindel go to shaindelantelis.com or jewishjukebox. com. To book Shaindel for an event contact Leah at 323-345-7172. Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who has written for various Jewish newspapers, magazines and websites in addition to having written song lyrics and scripts for several full scale productions. She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail.com.

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