In Fashion by In Fashion

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en n Amerong a v t r e b o R : By

hanukah is almost here! Chanukah is probably the most festive of the Jewish Holidays and the one children are most excited about. Chanukah certainly puts children front and center, whether it’s lighting the menorah, gift giving, or frying latkes. Kids are naturally drawn to the colorful flickering candles, or the smell of frying latkes. They want to stretch out their little hands and touch them! But during this holiday season, there is a very real potential for harm. We’ve all heard the tragic stories of burns and home fires that have occurred during Chanukah. Pediatric emergency physicians never like to use the word “accident” to describe these heartrending events. Saying something was an accident implies that it was unforeseeable, unpredictable, and unpreventable. However, burns and fires, like many other pediatric emergencies, can be prevented. Careful planning and proper adult supervision can stop these “accidents” before they occur. All kinds of injuries, including burns, tend to happen more frequently when there is a disruption in the normal household activities—even if that disruption is an enjoyable one. On Chanukah, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, and especially young cousins gather together. Amidst this fun “chaos,” there may be distractions and less supervision, which can lead to injuries There are no good statistics available for Chanukah-related burns or fires, but we do know that childhood burns account for almost 40,000 hospitalizations each year, and over 1,000 deaths. Children under the age of four years account for about half of these injuries. Scalding burns are the most common burn injury in younger children. These burns typically occur when a toddler knocks over a coffee cup onto himself. On Chanukah, this can happen when frying latkes. The child grabs the handle of the frying pan and pulls it off the stove, or gets injured from splattering oil during cooking. Children can also 18

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be burned directly by fire when they knock over the candles. Children may be wearing loose, hanging clothing or sleeves and brush past a lit candle and catch fire.

Most burns can be prevented. Here are some tips to help you: • Never leave burning candles unattended. • Keep children safely away from the menorah and all burning candles. (The same goes for the family pet!) • Keep matches, oil, and lighters out of sight and locked away. • Do not light candles within four feet of draperies, curtains, window shades, blinds, kitchen cabinets, bedding, or other flammable material. • If lighting in a window, make sure the draperies, curtains, etc., are pulled away from the menorah as far as possible and securely tied. • Be careful what type of surface you use to support the menorah. Use a metal, such as a silver tray or tin foil, or a ceramic surface under the menorah. Make sure the surface is stable. • Use sturdy candle holders, with flame protective non-combustible (glass or metal) shades or globes • Consider turning a small coffee table on its side and placing it in a doorway to block a toddler’s entry into the room with the menorah. (Just don’t let them climb on it!) • Roll up loose fitting sleeves and take off any cloth or woven bracelets before lighting the menorah. Secure hair and clothing, such as aprons, from the candles. • Children often make their own beautiful menorahs, candle boxes, and other art projects in school and bring them home. If they are flammable, put them in their own special place and away from menorahs. • Keep children occupied playing dreidel F a s h i o n

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M.D.

and eating doughnuts, latkes, or chocolate coins • Use only an UL approved electric menorah. Make sure the wires are not frayed and there are no broken sockets. Turn off the lights when you go to bed or leave the house.

Additional tips to prevent cooking related burns: • Never leave cooking food unattended on the stove. • Wear tight or snug fitting sleeves. Loose apron strings and sleeves are more likely to catch on fire or get caught on pot handles. • Always keep baking soda and a cover for the frying pan nearby. If there is a pan fire, shut off the heat and smother the fire with a lid. Do not pick up the pot or pan. Do not use water. It will splash and spread the fire. Pour baking soda on instead • Turn the handles of frying pans and other utensils in toward the back of the stove so that children cannot reach up and grab them • Cover a frying pan with a frying screen to prevent grease splatters and burns. • Don’t become distracted by attending to children or answering phone calls or doorbells. • Create a “kid-free zone” of at least three feet around your stove. • Keep area clear of towels, papers, or anything that could burn. • Always keep a 10 lb. ABS fire extinguisher near the kitchen, away from the stove.

If A Burn Occurs Treatment of burns depends on how severe they are. First degree burns are limited to the outer layer of the skin and are dry, red, and painful, but without blistering. (continued on page 20)

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Mild or moderate sunburn is an example of a first degree burn. Second degree, or partial thickness burns, are more serious. They are deeper and cause blistering of the skin. This type of burn is also more painful than a first degree burn. A full thickness, or third degree burn, is even deeper and extends through all the layers of the skin. The burned area will look white, charred, firm, and leathery. Because a third degree burn also destroys nerve endings, the burn may not be very painful. Fourth degree burns are the deepest of all, penetrating all the way down to muscle and/or bone. These burns are the least common type of burn, but are extremely serious injuries and potentially life-threatening. An additional way to describe burns is by their size. This is done by estimating the percentage of total body surface area (TBSA) the burn covers. The size of the child’s hand is roughly 1% TBSA. Compare the size of the burn to the child’s palm size to determine the TBSA. Typically, burns larger than 10 percent of the total body surface area (TBSA) of a child is considered a critical burn, except for first degree burns. 20

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The last way of determining care for burns is by location. Any burn involving the face, hands, feet, or groin require particular attention. Burns that cross a joint or totally encircle a limb are also potentially serious injuries. First aid for burns includes the following: First, remove your child from the source of the burn. Remove any clothing that might still be hot or burned. If the burn is minor, soak it in cold water for about fifteen to twenty minutes. You may cover it with a cool towel. Do not put any butter or ointments on the burn. Try not to burst any blisters. Place a sterile dressing over the burned area and call your doctor for further instructions. Have any second degree or higher burns evaluated by a doctor. Silvadene (silver sulfdiazine) is a common topical antibiotic used for burns and may be applied or prescribed by the doctor. It is applied to the burned area and covered with a gauze dressing. Because of the very small risk of skin discoloration, some doctors may use an alternative ointment on the face, such as Bacitracin. Silvadene should not be used if a child has a sulfa allergy. Your child may also need a tetanus shot. F a s h i o n

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Robert van Amerongen, M.D., FAAP, FACEP, FAAEM

For more serious burns that cover a large area of the body, you should activate your local emergency medical system. In these situations, you may just want to cover the burns with a clean, dry sheet until emergency personal arrive. Most serious burns, including second degree burns that cover more than 10 percent of the total body surface area (TBSA) of a child, third degree burns that involve more than 5 percent of TBSA, or burns that involve the face, genitals, hands, or feet should be referred to a specialized burn center. Disclaimer: This is intended for general educational information only. This article does not take the place of obtaining timely, appropriate medical attention from a physician. If there are any concerns or doubts, you should seek immediate medical attention. [IF] Robert van Amerongen, M.D., FAAP, FACEP, FAAEM, is a board certified pediatric emergency physician and the Chief of the Pediatric Emergency Service, Dept. of Emergency Medicine at New York Methodist Hospital. He is also the founder and Medical Director of Priority Pediatrics located at 444 Merrick Road in Lynbrook, New York.

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[Biggest Fitness Myths ] By: Tanya Rosen

Here are some of the biggest fitness myths I have heard… ...and the real truth about them.

Walking will change my body. Sorry to disappoint you, it will not. While walking is healthy and WILL burn some calories, it does NOT target those trouble spots you want to work on. The only thing that will work on those trouble spots is…working on those trouble spots. What I mean by that is doing SPECIFIC exercises for those specific areas. Just walking is simply not enough. I have to exercise every day in order to see results. It’s WHAT you do that counts more. It’s also important to remember that you should never tone the same muscle group two days in a row. The change in the muscle takes place the next day so working that same muscle group again is counterproductive because you are interfering with the change process. It is ideal to aim for 20-30 minutes of cardiovascular exercises (walking, running, swimming) on most days of the week, and do weight training on alternating days (example: upper body on Monday and Wednesday, lower body on Tuesday and Thursday). Shouldn’t I lose the weight first before I tone and lift weights? Besides looking more toned and fit, toning will also speed up your metabolism, helping you shed those pounds even faster. If you have a large amount of weight to lose

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and you wait until you lose it all to tone up, you will be left with a lot of saggy loose skin, and a lot of hard work ahead of you. The ideal is to tone while you lose. Inches and weight come off together. Weight comes off from decreasing your caloric intake. Inches come off from weight-bearing exercises. For example, I once had a personal training client who had over 50 pounds to lose. She did not want to diet, only exercise. We worked together three times a week for about a month before I remeasured her. In that month, she lost 12 inches (JUST from exercise) and ZERO weight. Inches will decrease your dress size and affect how trim and fit you feel. If you want to lose both, do both—diet and exercise. However, if you’ve been exercising and not seeing the scale budge, check your inches. The heavier the weights, the better. Holding weights correctly and doing the exercise properly comes first. Many people will choose a heavy weight, which will either make them perform the exercise too fast (they are trying to finish quickly), too slow (because it’s too heavy), or even worse, arch their back, which can cause injury. So what is the ideal weight that you should be lifting? The weight should be challenging enough that the exercise is not “easy,” but at the same time safe. It is best to

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assess that with a personal trainer or other fitness professional.

If I’m not sore, it didn’t work. You may be sore because you did not stretch (see next myth) or because you did something that you were not used to. You also may have performed the exercise wrong. Soreness in no way indicates effectiveness of an exercise. Warming up and stretching are optional. Just like you wouldn’t get into your car in the freezing winter, turn on the ignition, and just start driving, do not do the same to your body. A proper warm-up takes at least five minutes. In these five minutes, try to move around all your major muscle groups. Follow that with a stretch. Even more importantly, make sure to stretch after every workout. This will help prevent injury. [IF]

Tanya Rosen is the owner of Shape Fitness, a women’s fitness studio chain in Kensington and Flatbush. As a certified and experienced Personal Trainer, Aerobics Instructor, and nutritionist, Tanya offers these three services to the community. Tanya specializes in prenatal and postnatal fitness, and is best known for her personal and caring approach towards every member of the Shape Fitness family. Tanya can be reached at 718-438-2400 or 718-338-8700.

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[A Guide to Philanthropy] By: Martin Meisels

“P

hilanthropy” is defined as a desire to benefit a worthwhile cause through gifts of personal resources to charities. These resources can include donations of one’s time, energy, money, and property. Millions of Americans perform simple acts of philanthropy, such as donating clothing to homeless shelters or putting money in church collection plates. This article focuses on how to plan philanthropic activities so that they benefit charities while also maximizing estate and tax benefits for the donor.

Tax Benefits of Charitable Giving

Among the ways you can get tax benefits from charitable giving are: • Estate Tax Break—A charitable gift made during the donor’s lifetime removes assets and their future appreciation from the potential estate. • Avoidance of Capital Gains— By giving away appreciated securities, investors avoid capital gain tax that would be imposed if those asset were sold. • Current Income Tax Deduction— The fair market value of a charitable gift may qualify for a current income tax deduction. This can reduce the donor’s income taxes in the year the gift is made. These benefits can be realized through even the simplest ways of helping charities. For example, giving $5,000 in cash to a charity could remove this money from the donor’s prospective estate and qualify for a current income tax deduction of up to $5,000. If the gift is in the form of appreciated securities, the donor may claim a charitable deduction equal to the fair market value of the assets, and capital gains taxes could be avoided.

Tax Deductions for Charitable Work

While most charitable gifts of cash or property qualify for a federal income tax deduction, the value of personal work or time donated does not. Some personal expenses incurred while working as a charitable volunteer can be deducted by 30

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taxpayers who itemize. Here are the details, according to the IRS: • Taxpayers may deduct the costs of traveling to locations where they work as an unpaid volunteer at a mileage rate approved by the IRS. • The cost of uniforms, books, or tools used in volunteer activities may be deducted if they are required of the work and used solely for the work. Other charitable deductions include: • Purchases at charity auctions are deductible to the extent that the price paid exceeds fair market value. • Taxpayers may deduct the fair market value of property contributed to charity such as used clothes given for a yard sale. If the amount claimed is more than $250 per contribution, a statement must be obtained from the charity documenting value.

Donor-Advised Funds

A donor-advised fund is a way to realize current tax benefits for charitable giving while potentially deferring the choice of which charity will be the recipient. The donor makes an outright gift of cash or appreciated securities to the fund and receives a charitable tax deduction for the year the gift is made, subject to the donor’s adjusted gross income. If the gift is too large for the deduction to be used in one year, the balance may be carried forward to future years. After the gift is completed, the donor then can make grant recommendations to the fund. Recommendations are considered by the fund’s board of directors, and the money is distributed to designated charities. One drawback to these funds is that gifts must be irrevocable. (They can’t be taken back later if the donor changes his/her mind.)

Charitable Remainder Trusts

A CRT is an irrevocable trust that names one or more qualified charities as beneficiaries. It requires a trust document, typically drafted by an estate planning attorney, and is often funded with appreciated securities, real estate, or other appreciated property. By transferring these to the CRT, the donor avoids paying capital gains tax on a F a s h i o n

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sale. Once securities, real estate, or other appreciated property are in the trust, they may be sold by the trustee and the assets can be repositioned to increase income and diversification. Since the trust is a taxexempt entity, no capital gains tax is due on the sale of trust assets. Because the transfer is irrevocable and the grantor gives up control of assets, they are removed from the grantor’s taxable estate. The trust generates a current income tax deduction for the grantor/donor in the year the gift is made. It also can pay out lifetime income to one or more income beneficiaries. At the death of the last income beneficiary, the remainder passes to charity and the trust terminates. Because a CRT is a relatively complex way to make gifts to charity, this solution works best for fairly large lifetime gifts.

Charitable Gift Annuity

Many leading charities offer an alternative to a CRT that is easier to set up and provides similar advantages. Called a charitable gift annuity, it is done by the donor making a completed gift to the designated charity in the present, and the charity then pays a lifetime income back to the donor. The charitable donation that may be claimed is equal to the difference between the fair market value of the property donated and the present value of the life annuity. In summary, among the choices discussed in this article, philanthropyminded individuals can evaluate several ways of doing the right thing for good causes while also achieving estate and tax-saving goals. Professional advice can be useful in making sure that any gift to charity is money well spent. [IF] Martin Meisels is a Registered Representative and Financial Advisor of Park Avenue Securities LLC (PAS), 355 Lexington Avenue, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10017, (212) 5418800. Securities products/services and advisory services are offered through PAS, a registered broker/dealer and investment advisor. PAS is an indirect, wholly owned subsidiary of Guardian. Wealth Advisory Group is not an affiliate or subsidiary of PAS or Guardian. PAS is a member FINRA, SIPC. Martin Meisels 254 South Main Street, Suite 310 New City, NY 10956 845.634.7300 ext. 317 martin_meisels@parkavenuesecurities.com

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[Never Say Cheese ] By: Rina Schiffman

Getting the Most Out of Your Professional Portrait Session

or many parents, the very idea of taking the kids to have their portraits taken causes them to break out in a sweat. They immediately imagine their uncomfortable children alternating between smiling forcedly and whining “can we go home now?” However, like many things in life, being properly prepared and informed can go a long way in eliminating the stress and making your family’s portrait session a truly enjoyable experience. The things you do to prepare for the actual portrait session play a huge part in determining whether your session will be a success or a failure. This can be the difference between ending up with a bunch of gorgeous portraits or a bunch of pictures where your child is sticking his tongue out, crossing his eyes, or kicking and screaming on the floor (or all three). I’ll start off with the number one question moms ask after booking their session: “What should I dress my kids in?”

Selecting Clothing for Your Portrait Session The most important thing to consider when choosing your family’s clothing for their portrait session is this: simple is better. Solid colors keep the focus on the person, not the clothing, which is so important in creating an effective portrait. Big logos and words on clothes are a huge no-no. Stay away from really bright colors and bold patterns such as stripes or argyle. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, such as if you specifically want a certain style portrait and you discuss it with the photographer ahead of time, or if your husband is color blind and he got the kids dressed that morning. For the most

part, however, stick to these rules and you’ll be very happy. For group shots, mid to dark tones work best. Keep in mind that many custom photographers allow a few clothing changes during the shoot along with different backdrops; so for example, you can do some formal, dressy shots, and then change the child into their favorite jeans and t-shirt for some fun, playful shots. For newborns, less is more. They tend to get lost in bulky outfits, and there is nothing more precious to parents than photos that record that downy newborn skin and tiny toes.

Preparing For Your Portrait Session Newborns – If you plan on taking your

tiny newborn baby for portraits, keep in mind that they are best photographed before they reach 2 weeks old. To get those really adorable newborn poses, such as where the baby is sleeping tightly curled up on a baby scale or a stack of towels, the baby has to be that young— if they are any older, they don’t sleep as deeply and are much harder to pose. Feed your newborn right before the session, and be prepared to have to feed them at least once during the session. Bring along anything you think you might need during the session, such as diapers, wipes, diaper cloths, pacifiers, and any cute hats or blankets you think will look cute in a photo. Be prepared for a longer than usual session, to allow time for feeding, diaper changes, and waiting time until the baby falls asleep.

Infants – For this age, the most essential

thing is that your baby is well rested and fed right before the session. When scheduling the session, keep in mind your baby’s usual nap time. You know when your baby is most alert and happy, so request that time for your photo shoot. Bring along diapers, wipes, nonmessy snacks, pacifiers, a bottle, and any cute hats, blankets or favorite toys that you think would enhance your baby’s portraits or help bring out his cutest expressions. A change of clothing or two is also a great idea. Toddlers – For obvious reasons, this is one of the toughest ages to photograph. You might be tempted to just skip doing professional portraits at this time, but if you go to the right photographer, you can really end up with adorable portraits that capture your energetic toddler’s cutest expressions. As with younger babies, make sure your toddler has had a nap and a meal before the session. Get your toddler dressed in the outfit you want him photographed in before you leave the house, but put on a bib so it stays clean. Bring along non-messy snacks, drinks, and your toddler’s favorite toys. Make sure his/her face is completely (continued on page 34)

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clean (that includes dirty little noses) before the photographer starts shooting. With toddlers, don’t come to the session with expectations of specific poses that you want. It’s impossible to plan with toddlers, so the photographer will just give gentle direction and will capture your child as he does his thing (well, not if his “thing” is kicking the light stands until the lights crash down. But you know what I mean). School Age Children – When taking your older children to get their portraits done, you almost have to have a degree in psychology (which I happen to have, by the way. Ok, it’s only a B.A., but still) in order to have them cooperate fully and not only behave, but act natural during the shoot. So the number one rule with kids this age is not to talk to them about the session beforehand. I’m serious. Don’t tell them too much in advance that they are going for portraits, don’t tell them they must behave and smile and listen to the photographer, and most of all, don’t tell them to 34

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say cheese. Ever. Doing so just creates pressure for them to perform and to please you and the photographer, and as a result they will be nervous and tense, which results in forced smiles and stiff expressions. As for the “say cheese” part (ugh, I shudder every time I hear it), to put it simply, it’s not the way to get those great, natural expressions that will make you fall in love with your pictures. The best portraits are created when the photographer can connect to the child. This is done by talking to them, playing with them, and occasionally jumping in the air shouting “peanut butter!” It allows for direct eye contact and the most natural, adorable expressions. Mom or dad standing two feet from the child, all stressed out, yelling “Smile! Smile right now or you’re not getting ice cream!” doesn’t exactly produce the kind of expressions that will look gorgeous hanging in a large frame on your dining room wall. Rather, just relax, stand back, or even wait in another room if the photographer requests it, so that the F a s h i o n

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photographer can have direct contact with your child. My last, but most important tip for getting the most out of your professional portrait session is to just loosen up and have fun. When your kids see you getting agitated or upset with them, the mood of the entire session will quickly sour, and no one will end up pleased. When you are happy and relaxed, your kids will be, and you’ll enable the photographer to capture their true personalities—without having to resort to “say cheese!” [IF] Rina Schiffman is the owner and photographer of Rina Schiffman Photography. She specializes in capturing natural, emotive portraits of babies and children, and she has been known to jump in the air shouting “peanut butter” during a session just to get a huge smile. Her complete portfolio can be viewed at www.RinaSPhotography.com. Her home studio is located in Brooklyn, NY, and she can be reached at 917-750-3424 or Rinaschiffman@yahoo.com.

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[Double Carriages = Double Trouble] By: Miriam Eichenstein

ow if you thought picking a single carriage was difficult, welcome to a whole new level of confusion. I hope I can help enlighten you and make this decision a little easier. First and foremost, you need to decide what you are planning on doing with your carriage. Are you looking for something that is easy to lift in and out of your car, something that pushes well, something that holds one bassinet or two, something that holds one car seat or two, a side by side, a front and back, etc. Okay here we go. Let’s start with something new, making its debut to the US from Europe, is the iCandy (top right). What starts as a single stroller with many wonderful options can later grow with your family into a fabulous double stroller. The iCandy Apple (single stroller) can convert into a Pear (yes, they use play-on words for “pair,” as in 2) with a simple converter upgrade pack. The upgrade pack includes a large front wheel kit, a converter frame, two seat units, and two rain covers. The seats can face mom or the world, and it has bassinet and car seat adaptor options. There are twenty different combinations that are possible as a twin carriage. With large rear tires and front swivel wheels, this now double carriage pushes like a dream. It also has a seven-position height adjustable handlebar for moms and dads of all heights. The color options are great because you can choose different colors for each seat, allowing each child their own identity. Moms often ask me for a carriage that they can compare to a double Bugaboo. This is it! Its beautiful sleek frame and all of its great features puts it into a category of its own. This would not be my first choice for an easy in and out of the car double stroller, but it does fold, making it very doable. Something a little different but definitely fabulous is the Phil & Teds with the doubles kit. There are two versions that I like. The first is the Sport and the other is the Vibe. Both of these Phil & Teds strollers are the

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size of a single, making this a great choice for people who have a limited amount of space. When using this stroller with a newborn, the baby lies flat in the main seat with the toddler in the seat on top. Both seats are full size seats. When your newborn gets a little older and wants to sit up, the top seat is moved to the rear and your little one goes in the back and your toddler in the main seat. This constantly keeps the center of balance in the right place, making the push on this stroller incredible. People often look at this stroller like it fell from outer space. They wonder how they can possibly stick one of their children in what looks like the basket and assume their child will be unhappy. I have asked many customers (besides for my own children) and all say that when their children are old enough, they fight over the back seat. It seems like it is more fun back there. Another great feature is that if you start off with both children, perhaps walking your toddler to school, and then end up walking with only one child back home, you still have a stroller the size of a single instead of a double with an empty seat. The major differences between the Sport and the Vibe is that the Vibe is lighter, sleeker, and folds with the doubles kit on in both positions, whereas the Sport only folds with the doubles kit on in one position. This carriage is definitely not as odd as it seems, so give it a chance. Next we have the very popular Baby Jogger City Mini Double. Baby Jogger hit the nail on the head with this one. For someone who is very often in and out of the car and does some light walking, this double carriage is a no-brainer. The City Mini Double is lightweight, reclines fully, has the Baby Jogger three-panel canopy, and has an extremely easy fold. Its handlebar is stationary, but at an average height. Available accessories are a car seat adapter, rain cover, belly bar, snack tray, parent console, and cup holder. This carriage has no frills, but does its job very well. F a s h i o n

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The Baby Jogger City Elite is a true jogging version of a double stroller. With all four tires being air tires, this carriage glides smoothly over all surfaces. It has a full recline and an extendable leg rest making it a fabulous option for one or two newborns. It has a triple canopy hood, a height adjustable handlebar, and an easy fold. This carriage is not considered a lightweight and is not easy to lift in and out of the car, but it is worth the trouble for the great ride. The Maclaren Twin Triumph is great for in and out of the car. It wheels best on smooth suffices, and the price is fabulous. It folds up really small taking up very little room in any size trunk. It comes with two seat liners and a rain cover. Its three-quarter recline makes it an option from newborn and up. The two handlebars allow for an even push and a place for your shopping bags. There are many more options, but these are probably my favorites. The list is endless, so do your homework. One thing I always recommend is to look at the stroller and try it out. I always tell my customers to bring in their children and see how it pushes. Make sure you are happy before you leave the store. [IF] Miriam Eichenstein is the cofounder of Oh Baby! located at 1408 Coney Island Avenue, between Avenues J and K in Brooklyn, NY. She can be reached at 718-998-7373 or on the web at OhBabyGifts.com. If you have any questions or baby products you would like reviewed, please email miriam@ohbabygifts.com.

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ADVERTISMENT

What’s the Best Way to

We love butlers. More is not necessarily better. Opt for serving high–end hors d’oeuvres “butler” style instead of offering them in the buffet. This will keep your costs down, yet still offer your guests high–quality items.

Glamorize a Bar or Bat Mitzvah on a Budget?

Go for sweet endings. Set dessert and goodie tables with candy, ice cream, cookies, etc. at the end of the event. Add the coffee, tea, and hot chocolate if appropriate. Also, save any party favors until the end of the event.

Ask and you shall receive. Ask vendors for repeat themes. Decorators will be willing to discount on props they already have rather than on new ones they’ll have to create. Also use your vendors–many DJs will supply games, lighting, props, etc. and give you a better price when your hire two or more services.

n today’s economy, everyone is still keeping a watchful eye on the bottom line–and that doesn’t change when you’re planning a major event like a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. But parents who want only the best for their sons and daughters can still have it all, without breaking the bank. Linda Ferone, Catering Director of the DoubleTree Hotel in Tarrytown, NY, has developed her own top 10 tips for glamorizing a Bar or Bat Mitzvah without spending a lot of money. “Parents need not go overboard in spending when it comes to planning a ﬁrst–class event,” said Ferone. “By taking just a few of these suggestions, savvy parents can plan an incredible Bar or Bat Mitzvah, even it they’re on a tight budget.” Ferone’s tips include:

Choose ﬂameless candles. To be safe, use lots of ﬂameless candles. They are simple and elegant, and always add ambiance to any room.

Do something unexpected. A new trend is the “lounge” setting, which enhances the tone and comfort of your Simcha. Select simple furniture and add lots of pillows. Personalized pillows can also be given out as favors or prizes.

Select a venue to set the tone. High ceilings, chandeliers, room décor, and color scheme can complement any event if considered early in the planning process before you select a theme. Choosing a venue that provides the right atmosphere is half the battle.

Be the Host with the most. Remember to reserve hotel rooms for your out-of-town guests, and friends and relatives that may not want to drive late at night, after the party. A nice touch is to place a welcome amenity in the room that can range from chocolates to bath robes. Some hotels will provide them for a small fee.

Spend your extra dollars on luxurious ﬂoor–length linens, instead of the expensive centerpieces. Many venues will have them already or be able to secure them at a more reasonable price.

The DoubleTree Hotel, which now offers the largest Grand Ballroom in Westchester County, also provides a separate Glatt Kosher kitchen for food preparation. A Mashgiach works with your caterer to take advantage of the “kosherfriendly” amenities and features of the hotel. All rooms have manually keyed locks for Shabbos use. There is also an Eruv for the property. Set on 11 acres of landscaped grounds in the heart of the Hudson Valley, the Doubletree Hotel has undergone a complete renovation and expansion in the past two years. The hotel offers 246 guest rooms, 24,000 square feet of meeting, ballroom and pre–function space, a Business Center, indoor pool, day spa, sauna, and state-of-the-art ﬁtness center.

Go for “plated meals” instead of stations. Most venues will charge a bit more for stations and food attendants. Plus, a plated meal is viewed as more elegant than a buffet.

Help it flow by serving a signature drink or finger food as guests arrive. It sets the tone and eases the traffic around the room. It also helps the event flow more smoothly.

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[Accessorizing Your Baby From Head to Toe] By: Dayna Klinger and Cindy Merrill

lot of parents and grandparents walk into our store and want to find ways to dress up or add to their little ones’ outfits. This month we have put together some suggested accessories that can really add to your little girl’s and little boy’s (that’s right, you read correctly, “your little boy’s”) outfit.

Girls

Since girls are the easiest to accessorize, we have to talk about them first. Starting from the head, a common and affordable way to accessorize your little girl is with hair accessories. There are many different options in the way of hair accessories. The obvious choices are headbands and barrettes. Of course there are many varieties of headbands and barrettes. Some of our favorite headbands are those with big colorful flowers which can be removed and replaced with other flowers, allowing you flexibility at reasonable prices. We recently found barrettes and headbands in Leopard, Zebra, and Burberry prints that can be customized with your loved one’s initial. These headbands and barrettes make for great gifts and a great accessory. Hair accessories range from $3 barrettes to $24 headbands, and everything in between. Moving down the body, we have baby jewelry, such as earrings, bracelets, and bangles. Some of the most practical earrings we have seen are gold plated earrings with colorful enamel charms, such as hearts, flowers, and butterflies. These earrings are adorable and really dress up a baby’s outfit. Moving along, we have colorful, gold plated enamel bangles. Bangles vary from basic to highly intricate. Much like the earrings, the intricate bangles are very colorful and adorned with multi colored hearts, butterflies, or flowers. These bangles range in size from newborn to adult, so that mom, baby, and older sisters can all match. 40

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If bangles are not your style, you can zalways dress up your little girl in either a sterling silver or gold plated chain bracelet with colorful heart, flower, or butterfly charms. These jewelry options range in price from $26 to $40. Don’t forget the toes! If your baby isn’t walking yet, try some funky socks from Trumpette. These socks come in so many styles, your head will be spinning. There are Classic Mary Janes, Brand New 5th Avenue Mary Janes in a hounds tooth pattern, Ballerina Socks, and Pixies in a ballet slipper design. If your little one is walking, you can always go for Trumpette’s Baby Mocs, faux patent leather penny loafers in a variety of colors, including, pink, black, red, silver, and brown. These options range in price from $24 for a box of six pairs to $27 for a pair of Baby Mocs. All socks are packaged in a cute little box, perfect for gifting.

Boys

Now, on to the boys. We would be lying to you if we said boys were more fun to accessorize than girls. While that is not the case, there are still some fun options for adding to your boy’s outfits. Starting with the head, there are several different yarmulke options. We happen to like the sports theme yarmulkes from Pea Soup Baby, which are made to match their adorable three piece outfits. Are you planning to grow your son’s hair until he is three? Why don’t you try a boy hair clip with different icons on them, such as golf balls, hockey sticks, cars, and fire trucks? These options range in price from $7 to $12. Next, we have an accessory that is just as popular with the girls as it is with the boys. You guessed it, pacifier clips. Pacifier clips are available in many different styles. There are basic cloth ones in an array of F a s h i o n

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unique fabrics. There are vintage wooden beaded pacifier clips from Bink Link in fun shapes, such as Peas and Carrots, Candy Necklace, and Bubble Gum. Finally you have Baby Bling Pacifier Clips from Abbey Hill Creations. These pacifier clips consist of a cloth strap that is attached on one side to the pacifier and the other a round clip, approximately the size of a quarter. This clip is made up of Swarovski crystals in different shapes and patterns including, footballs, sailboats, baseballs, and our favorite, the “Superman” symbol. Pacifier Clips range in price from $7 to $28. Finally, just like the girls, we love the Trumpette sock options for the boys, which are possibly more creative when it comes to boys socks. First we have the ever popular Johnny’s, which look like high top sneakers. Need something more formal? Try the Peewees, a box of multi-colored argyle socks. If Johnny’s and Peewees weren’t cool enough, Trumpette recently added, Skater Johnny’s to the collection. Skater Johnny’s are multi-colored checkered socks, which look very much like the sneakers that skateboarders wear. Need something more shoe-like? Try the Baby Tracks, which are silver sneakers with blue laces and a blue soft sole. These socks and shoes range in price from $24 for a box of six pairs to $27 for a pair of Baby Tracks. [IF] Dayna Klinger and Cindy Merrill are co-owners of Dimples, a Boutique filled with Unique Baby Gifts and Accessories, located at 554 Central Avenue in Cedarhurst. Need help accessorizing your baby? Have a Suggestion for a Baby Accessory? Cindy and Dayna can be reached at 516-792-3290, or sales@DimplesShop.com or on the web at www.DimplesShop.com.

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[Rewarding Careers ] By: David Sharvit

Don’t Shortchange the Not-For-Profit World Discover the Most Rewarding Careers Opportunities

uring these times of economic uncertainty, a record high unemployment rate of 10.2 percent, and little job security in many fields, I find myself reflecting upon my own career choices. For more than fifteen years, I have been working at OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services in various capacities ranging from a direct care provider to my current position in Human Resources as Coordinator of the Recruitment and Volunteer Departments. While working at a not-for-profit organization may not be the stereotypical dream of Jewish parents (don’t worry, my sister is a lawyer and my brother is an accountant), it has suited me—and thousands of others—more than I could ever have anticipated. Although I will most likely not be able to retire in five years and spend my days smoking Cuban cigars and eating caviar on my private yacht, I am grateful to enjoy both job stability during these difficult times as well as immense job satisfaction. Based on my experience, and that of many others at OHEL, I can offer several reasons why people should seriously consider seeking employment in this field.

Employment Opportunities When I read the newspaper, watch the news, or see information online regarding job openings, one of the trends that remains constant is employment opportunities that abound in healthcare fields. From my 42

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vantage point at OHEL, I can state that while there may not be as many vacant positions as there were two years ago, there are several positions advertised that would make any parent very proud if their son or daughter were to fill them. OHEL offers several entry-level positions for applicants whose main criteria for the job are a kind heart and a sensible head on their shoulders. At the other extreme, there are upper-level management positions that require rigorous training and years of education and experience. And in the middle of the spectrum is a wide range of challenging positions. One has to realize that in order to attain an upper-level position, he or she has to have the credentials and experience required to do the job. Generally, an applicant will start on the ground floor with an entry-level position and work his way up, gaining experience, expertise, and educational degrees along the way. Without the entry-level work, it is nearly impossible to obtain a managerial position. I encourage those I speak with to invest some time and effort working or volunteering in a field that interests them within the Human Services arena in order to gain some practical experience. When people think of social service organizations, they tend to think of the actual work that is done with the individuals in need of services. However, professionals in fields such as Finance, Marketing, Development, and Human Resources are in demand as well. Regardless of the task performed, people have the unique opportunity of contributing their time and F a s h i o n

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exper tise to those in need. Parents should encourage their children to explore employment opportunities and internships in social service organizations while they are in high school or college. While attending college, I earned some extra money by working oneon-one with an eleven-year-old child diagnosed with severe developmental delays, coupled with a multitude of other physical disabilities. I spent time with him a few evenings a week, providing his family some much needed respite while we worked on certain goals. As we were playing ball in the backyard to improve his gross motor skills, he grabbed the ball and said “bo” (ball). When his mother heard him speak that sound, she burst into tears and called her entire family over to listen, as that youngster at age eleven had never uttered the “b” sound before.

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I believe that that was the turning point for me. That pivotal moment helped me realize that I could derive satisfaction and fulfillment in the Human Services field while utilizing my abilities to benefit others. I finally knew what I wanted to be when I “grew up.” While working as a direct care provider can be a stepping stone for other positions in the field, one is sure to encounter priceless benefits along the way: Becoming more mature and responsible – While working with those who face challenges in performing routine tasks, one develops a sense of responsibility, since he or she is caring for a precious life. Their efforts can give someone the opportunity for growth and independence. This responsible outlook often extends to one’s own personal life and leads him to become a better person, spouse, parent, child, friend, or neighbor. Developing a sense of appreciation for what we have – Those that work in the care field are exposed to the pain and hardships of others on a daily basis. When the stresses of life seem insurmountable, all I have to do is go to work, and my troubles— 44

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while they may be real—fail to compare to the difficulties that others face. Their struggles help me appreciate the blessings that G-d gave me, and their strength is an inspiration to me. Feeling better about yourself when you contribute to society – Don’t get me wrong; work is hard. There are days that we want to pull out every hair on our heads! But at the end of the day, it’s a tremendous feeling to know that the work we put in helped to make someone else’s life a little easier. It feels good to know that something more valuable than money brightened someone’s day. Becoming a better parent, friend, child, etc. – Besides learning valuable job skills, such as becoming a more effective leader and supervisor, financial manager, etc., there are also invaluable lessons to be learned. I have seen people begin to understand the true meaning of patience as they teach an adult with disabilities how to fold his clothing. I have seen others learn to love G-d while observing an individual who may not understand what he is saying shut his eyes as tightly as possible and daven with all his heart. Some workers develop a true F a s h i o n

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appreciation for life by working with those who derive joy from the smallest things and see beauty in wonders we take for granted. People in the helping field see so much love and compassion on a regular basis that after a while it rubs off on them and becomes a part of their heart and soul. I urge you to get involved today in the “helping field.” There is a high probability that your services are needed within the population you wish to serve. If you don’t see a paying position, volunteer. Get involved, invest yourself. You never know, it may be the life-changing career boost you were searching for all your life! [IF] David Sharvit has been with OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services for the past fifteen years. He served the organization in various capacities including Direct Care Worker, Entitlements Coordinator, Residence Manager, and Area Coordinator while advancing his career at OHEL Bais Ezra. Mr. Sharvit currently serves as OHEL’s Coordinator of the Recruitment and Volunteer Departments. His personal advancement and growth at OHEL reinforces the agency’s investment from within and mirrors the expansion of OHEL, which was founded in 1969. To become part of OHEL’s team of professionals, please contact David and his colleagues: Employment (718) 686-3102 or Resumes@Ohelfamily.org; Volunteer (718) 686-3103 or Volunteers@Ohelfamily.

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[Ohr Naava]

Welcome Home

By: Elisheva Perlman

hr Naava Women’s Torah Center, founded in loving memory of Naava Katlowitz a”h, has become synonymous with a place that gives women of all ages and backgrounds a center for spiritual growth, physical inertia, recreational development, and emotional stamina…whether through a shiur or a yoga class, an informative lecture series on relationships or a cake decorating workshop…it has become a home away from home for thousands of women. Located in Brooklyn, NY, Ohr Naava is the first center of its kind in New York to offer a dynamic staff, multi-level programs, thought provoking lectures, practical workshops, shidduchim assistance, Shabbos placement, and a daily dose of inspiration to a vast range of women. The original mission statement of the center has been to provide continuing Torah education for women, 46

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ages 17-120. Since Ohr Naava opened its doors over five years ago, as the brainchild of Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein and Mrs. Daphne Hanson, that goal has rippled into so many areas of women’s lives. Housing a full evening program allows the participants to go about their busy daily lives, and then have a place of their own where they can enjoy dinner, relax with friends, or engage in a shiur or class every night of the week. It has become the one-stop center for all women of all ages and backgrounds to grow as Jews, as mothers, as wives, as friends, and to have fun at the same time. As Mrs. Avivit Mikhli, the Director of Operations at Ohr Naava, best describes, “When creating this organization, our goal has always been to provide each person with a place for inspiration and growth, but most of all, a place to feel at home.” It comes as no surprise that the decision to F a s h i o n

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host an auction to benefit Ohr Naava would be in a “Welcome Home” motif. Because charity begins at Home, Yussie and Hennie Rubin decided to open up their own home for a captivating Ohr Naava Auction Home Event! The “best of the best” have been donated or sponsored to help support the organization. Some of the most sought after prizes include a grand escape to Italy, a twoyear car lease by Skyline Motor Group, your very own night baby nurse for a week, $5000 towards any tuition of your choice, and the most talked about prize by far is your very own horse (includes ownership, boarding stable, and upkeep for a year). The event has been spearheaded by Mrs. Elisheva Perlman, Ohr Naava’s Director of Communications. Together with an incredible team of auction hostesses and this year’s talented Auction Home Committee consisting of Chavie Alter, Etty Deutsch, Nitza Loketch, (continued on page 48)

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Malky Safrin, Goldie Stern, Rivky Tepler, Riki Wagh, and Malky Zicherman, the event is guaranteed to be a winner.

Following the home motif, the auction also has an added homey touch by offering the first of its kind Service Auction. With a community that is brimming with exceptional individuals that give their energy, experience, and time, a multitude of unique services have been donated to lend a unique touch to this “Welcome Home” event. Some of the services include a professional private chef, Esther Mendelovich, to cook in your home for up to six people; a sought after shadchan, Lisa Elefant, who will work to set you up with a great guy; Rabbi Ezra Max will offer one hour of life coaching; Sylvia Fuksbrumer will type up and organize all your recipes; Yocheved Cohen will provide a fabulous cut for your wig; Fayge Ackerman will say Shir Hashirim for 40 days in your zchus; 48

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Sharona Kessner will deliver a fresh potato kugel to your home for a month; and Ruti Adler will provide an hour of decorating consultation. With 83 services in total, just reading up about all of them makes you want to win them all! The all-day event, for women only, is scheduled to take place on Wednesday, December 9 from 11am to 10pm, at the Rubin residence at 1278 East 22nd Street. The community is welcome to join at any part of the day including during these fabulous functions: 11AM: The Center For Kosher Culinary Arts will host an Avante Garde Food Presentation and Plating workshop. Watch and learn from highly experienced professional chefs and culinary educators who have changed the style of Kosher eating. 11AM-12PM and 6:30PM-7:30PM: “MEET THE SHADCHAN” with Lisa Elefant. Meet one-on-one with an experienced shadchan devoted to finding you Mr. Right. She just might “strike a match” for you. By appointment only. To schedule an appointment, email info@ohrnaava.com. F a s h i o n

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8:30PM: FLOWER DESIGN “THE POWER OF THE FLOWER” presented by Tammy Polatsek of Aristocratic Design. A world renowned party and event planner, Tammy is the winner of three floral competitions for design in NYC. Learn to incorporate flowers into any room or space with Tammy’s creativity and skill. There will also be a special auction preview for men only on Tuesday night, December 8th from 7 to 9pm. It will feature a unique wine tasting presentation and a shiur by Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein. Home is where the heart is…on Wednesday, December 9th, that home will be Ohr Naava’s first “Welcome Home” auction to benefit the thousands of homes they help to build. While not everyone can win a prize, participating in the event by attending or purchasing a package online is your chance to be involved and make a difference in many lives, truly making this a prize-winning event. [IF]

For more information about the event or to see the exquisite auction brochure designed by Mrs. Elisheva Perlman, contact Ohr Naava at: 2201 East 23rd Street Brooklyn, NY 11229. 718.Ohr.Naav(a) or visit www.ohrnaava.com. We look forward to greeting you.

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[Bridal Gown Headpieces] By: Tova Marc

s bridal gowns continue the trend of elegant, minimalist, and understated styles, the opportunity arises for the bride to make a dazzling statement of style with fabulous head dressings. No longer are tiaras, hair bands, combs, hair flowers, and veils considered just an afterthought or an extra. They are now viewed as a major statement of style that complete the entire look. Just like the ever so popular handbags and shoes by Louboutin, Tory Burch, Leiber, and Marc Jacobs made your outfit fabulous, the latest trends in headpieces are THE statement for the overall bridal look. Accessories play a major roll in creating the Fashion-Image brides want to portray. Luckily, as new headpiece designers enter the market at lightning speed, brides are finding many options to choose from. There is a vast array of quality material, such as beautiful pearls in various shapes and colors, crystallized elements that sparkle from across the room, and fabulous metal finishes. Each piece is a work of art for that designer.

But how do you find the perfect headpiece to complement your dream gown? Here’s a list of the various headpiece styles: 54

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Tiaras & Crowns – One of the most popular headpieces. A semi-circled piece that sits close to the top front of your head. Many have height in the center, which makes brides feel like a beautiful princess. This style is great if you’re a traditional bride with a big full princess style ball gown. Hair is mostly worn in an up-do with this style headpiece.

Flowers – For the sassy and fun bride. Flowers are perfect for mermaid and trumpet style gowns that are understated and elegant. Flowers can range from a 1-inch crystal or pearl flower, to a 4 to 5-inch fabric or real live flower. Flowers are mostly worn on the side with your hair worn down and sweeping to the side.

Hairbands – These have become a style staple within the last two years. This piece sits from temple to temple and is made out of satin, taffeta, lace, or even the same fabric as your dress. Many are also metal based, with or without jewels. These come in simple, to ultra elaborate. This style is great for classic and romantic wedding gowns such as A-line lace silhouettes. Hair should be worn down for a beautiful romantic and timeless look.

The varying styles, designs, and materials will determine the cost of the headpiece. Typically, you can expect to pay up to $500 depending on how elaborate the piece is. If you’re like most brides, who never actually wear their headpiece after the wedding, you would be happy to know that Couture De Bride by Tova Marc in Teaneck, NJ, stocks all the latest headpiece styles and trends that are available for rent as part of a bridal gown package. Couture De Bride by Tova Marc carries a fine line of headpieces that incorporate Swarovski Crystals and Fresh Water Pearls. [IF]

Combs – Range from 2 to 7 inches wide and can have crystals, pearls, or both. Combs are versatile and can be worn right up against a veil, in the front, back, or side of your hairstyle. Your hair can be worn up, down, or half up/half down. Combs are great no matter if your gown is simple or elaborate. If wearing a full gown, the comb can be worn right up against the veil. If wearing a more trendy or contemporary gown, the comb can be worn on the side with your hair swept away from the side of your face. F a s h i o n

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Tova Marc is the owner and lead designer of Couture De Bride by Tova Marc, which carries a large selection of Fashion-Forward Modest Bridal & Evening Gowns. She can be contacted at 201-357-4877, by email at contact@couturedebride.com, or on the web at TovaMarc.com.

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e l y t S l fg o ah He e L : y B

Staples of a Modest Fashion Wardrobe

hat woman doesn’t love new clothes? We all do! But in this economy, we fashionistas need practical clothes that we can wear often and that go with everything. So here we’re taking a look at five basics that easily bring your modest—but stylish—wardrobe up to date without breaking the bank.

ACCESSORIES Accessories are the final touch. When you add great accessories to a modest outfit, nobody even realizes you’re a modest dresser. You just look great! And the fabulous thing about accessories is that you can buy them anywhere and they’re a low-cost way to update. So, what’s in style? This year, it’s extra long necklaces, big bangle bracelets, big rings, and anything with glitter and glam. And belts are “in” in a big way—whether it’s a skinny belt, a big-buckle belt, or a dressy belt, wearing a belt will really “kick it up a notch.” So put on a few accessories and grab that stylish bag you got on sale, and wow…you look great!

Upda te la st s year ’s ba sic ig ht, with a few br er y larg e, or glitt accessories. Take apar t a two-piece swea ter set, e and wear th nk sleeveles s ta over a shell.

Pair your pencil skirt with any simple top and then add a superlong necklace for a st ylish accent. Put on a great pair of bo ots to complete the lo ok.

Wear a c a p e, s hawl, scarf, o with an r poncho yb for a n lack skirt u pd d res sy a ted look.

THE SHELL No, we don’t mean your mother’s

polyester top from the 80’s. You know, the one with the scalloped-collar. No, we mean a stretchy cotton/lycra top with an elegant, slimming look. This new kind of “shell” is your most basic first layer—and it’s so versatile that it works for everyday, an evening out, and even a wedding. And the best thing about these new shells is that the ones with sleeves can be worn alone or under any sleeveless top or dress. So find yourself a great shell, get it in several colors, and you’re good to go!

THE PENCIL SKIRT Wea r you r jea skir t n w swea it h a long ter-to add p a nd a ca over sual belt t he to p.

If you’ve been watching the runways, this season’s musthave is a classy pencil skirt. It’s a nice, lined skirt with a flattering shape, and the more modest ones hit below the knee. And talk about versatile! These pencil skirts work great for casual, work, city, and dressy looks. It all depends what you pair it with. And if you don’t have one yet, believe us: pencil skirts are really flattering and look good on almost everyone. So add a few pencil skirts to your wardrobe, and you’ll never have to think about what to wear.

THE DENIM SKIRT Let’s admit it, whether we’re currently working or not, women are always on the run. And who can deny the ease of throwing on a jean skirt with any top (everything matches denim) and running out the door? And since denim will never fade out of style, a denim skirt is a definite basic. This season, denim comes with a softer feel, making it even easier to grab that coffee and run. Find yourself a great jean skirt or two, and you’re on your way! 58

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THE BLACK SKIRT Okay, you probably already know the wonders of the black skirt. But we’re listing the basics here, and we just couldn’t leave it out! It’s the go-witheverything, comfy black skirt that you just couldn’t live without. You know, the one that, when you’re packing, you always throw into the suitcase first. If you don’t have one yet, or if you love them (like we do) and need more, it’s time to go shopping! And since black is definitely “in” this season, there are a whole bunch of stylish options to choose from. There are black pencil skirts, black foldover skirts, black pleated skirts, and black “slinkies.” And since black is so flattering and goes with everything, we think you’ll want a few of them in your wardrobe.

So there you have it: the five staples of a modest fashion wardrobe. These basics will carry you from year to year, and you’re sure to love them for a long while. [IF] Leah Helfgott is a Designer and Social Media Specialist at Tabeez.com, a modest clothing store, with retail locations in Flatbush, NY and Lakewood, NJ. In Fashion readers get 20% off at Tabeez.com when they use promo code INFASHION. Excluding clearance. Ends December 31, 2009.

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[The Headband For You]

By: Shira Michelle & Danielle Mara

eadbands not only serve as an embellishment piece to add that wow factor to your outfit, but they can also reverse your “bad hair days” by simply hiding the problem areas. It’s a quick, easy, and fun way to save the day! First, you need to find a headpiece that is designed especially for your unique hair type and individual style: Thin Hair – Headbands can be your best friend. Make your hair more voluminous by choosing a thicker band that can cover your front pieces and at the same time force most hair to the back creating a fuller effect for the hair behind the band. Thick or Puffy Hair - Choose a thinner band with a thick appliqué. Make a side part in your hair and simply place the band behind your ears without pulling your hair back. This creates a sophisticated and fun look while taming the puffiness.

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Straight Hair - Choose a headband that has an elastic closure. This will ensure a stronger hold and prevent the headband from sliding off and knotting your hair. Curly Hair – Choose a thinner band with a large appliqué. The band will stay hidden in your curls and the beautiful appliqué will pop.

Wig – For a fall, you may want to choose a thicker band that wraps all the way around your head with an elastic closure. This keeps the wig in place and hides the front seam. For a full wig, in many instances you can follow the suggestions above for the different hair types. A headband can help keep the bangs in place and make the wig more “wearable” throughout the day. [IF]

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Shira Michelle and Danielle Mara are founders of The Michelle Mara Collection.Visit MichelleMara.com for Sophisticated, Fun & Wearable Headbands.

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2 5 P H I L I P S PA R K WAY MONT VALE, NJ 07645 TEL (201) 391-5392 CELL (845) 826-0484 tomer@tntDesignGroup.com w w w.tntDesignGroup.com

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[Ask The Shadchan] By: Yisrael Friedman

I am trying to help my wife’s close friend find a shidduch. There is a boy who davens at our shul who I think may be appropriate for her. Can you give me some practical advice as to how to go about redting the shidduch? –Adam L., Queens rom your question, it is obvious you are a novice shadchan, though I may add that non-professional shadchanim are responsible for making the bulk of shidduchim in the frum world, so you are at a good starting point. Here are two fundamental guidelines to keep in mind when redting a shidduch: Know your facts before making the call! Many times people will call to redt a shidduch and this is what it may sound like: “Um… hi. This is Rivka Zivugis and I don’t think you know who I am (awkward silence). Um…anyway, I heard about your son Shmuel, or is it Shloimy? (more awkward silence.) Anyway, I heard about him from my shvigger’s close friend who said he saw him davening with a lot of kavanah, and therefore I thought this may be a good shidduch for–.” If you didn’t already hear a dial tone you can rest assured that mentally the person on the other end of the line has already written you and your suggestion off. To avoid this scenario, do your due

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diligence and get the facts straight. Find out common friends you might have with the mother so you can immediately make a connection, i.e. “Hi, its Rivky. I’m your aunt Shaindy’s very close friend. I heard so much about your son, Shloimy. Shaindy does not stop talking about how intellectual and spiritual he is, and that’s why I thought he would be so perfect for my good friend, Frumie, who is the most amaaaazing girl in the world.” Boy’s Mom: “Oh that’s so nice of you to have Shloimy in mind. Now that I think about it, I actually remember you were by Shaindy’s last simcha. Thank you so much; I’ll make a few calls and get back to you tomorrow.” Mission accomplished.

Be prepared for difficult questions. Obviously the example cited above would be ideal, but not all redtings are so smooth and uncomplicated. For example, Boy’s Mom: “So why do you think this girl would be so perfect for my son? Does she like hosting people for Shabbos? Because my son loves interacting with people, and he likes to bring home all types of people.” The general answer to all questions of this nature should be in the following spirit: “Frumie is a very easy-going girl with great middos and will do what it takes to make her spouse happy. Besides, she is a great

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‘people’ person, and I’m sure she would love to host people as well.” Etc. My suggested practice in shidduchim has always been this: If a match is suggested for your child, check out the basic aspects to see if the shidduch can begin to have a prospect of compatibility. These aspects include family background, hashkafas, basic appearance, and vital personality traits. All the extra nuances that people insist on inquiring about in great detail are a little ridiculous at this initial point. Is it really important why she switched preschools in the middle of nursery? Once you find out that there is a basis for compatibility, then let them go out and find out for themselves! You will be surprised what your son/daughter will potentially go for. Remember, the goal is to find a shidduch for your child, not to find a shidduch for yourself! [IF] Yisrael Friedman is a full time shadchan for Connections, the Shidduch division of Gateways. For questions or interesting and funny dating stories to be published in future articles, please email yfriedman@gatewaysonline.com. For all shidduchim inquiries, email connections@gatewaysonline.com.

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‫בס״ד‬

Can a trip to Italy? A night in NYC? How about a two-year car lease? Can these things help to promote spiritual growth? With the proceeds from these and other prizes helping to keep the doors of Ohr Naava Women’s Torah Center open wide, they certainly can. Join us at the home of Yussie and Hennie Rubin at 1276 E. 22nd Street in Brooklyn for fine hospitality and an all-day special event: An auction where the prizes are as inviting as the warm surroundings, and the ambiance is as charming as the attendees. OHR NAAVA

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A DELIGHTFULLY UNIQUE AUCTION brought to you through the collective efforts of the girls and women of our community. Visit ohrnaava.com to order or call 718.OHR.NAAVA (718.647.6228) for more info.

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